http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:revscrj&section=today deviantART RSS for by:revscrj en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:25:14 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/18617168/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/18617168/ Sun, 01 Jun 2008 20:18:46 PDT dizzy downhill tumble
fumbling to grasp something more solid
than grass and pebbles all
head over heels

Catch air
and breathe
in snapshot
silence. At peace
in chaos. A man,
an island,
an ocean.

No falls hurt until the landing so
I work on learning to soar-
more or less the pipe dream
of a thing moored
to mores
that plant reeds on shores
not forms
in flight;
despite that, I set task toward attainment
of that lightness
in hollow boned cores
of those who were born
to adorn the clouds.

Mean fate and inertial weight
set course for disaster and demise, so
it'll be no surprise
since Im seeing it grow
embroidered into every shadow,
interlaced with every light.
I think I might die
when im not pining to the sky so
for this moment
I delight
in futile
freefall
hopes of flight.

-revscrj

]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/15164930/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/15164930/ Sun, 21 Oct 2007 20:35:50 PDT
Rather than bore you all with the grueling details of the past couple of years I will just encapsulate it.

A couple years back I contracted a disease that only a few months ago has been officially recognized as a disease by the CDC. This means that I have spent the time being misdiagnosed, given drugs which did nothing and had the disease worsen. I almost died in the ER of a local hospital waiting for them to call my name. Almost lost my right arm to it. "It" is called Morgellon Disease and no one knows what it is except that it creates a fiberous growth in ones body that bears no resembalance to anything synthetic nor organic that has been previously recorded. Basicly, they know it has sulphur in it and that it grows, but it doesnt have any of the elements of life to it. Its composition is such that it can hold water in the form of a tetrahedron. It causes lethargy so extreme its sometimes like narcolepsy. Theories range from: bioweaponry gotten loose, nanotech warfare, mutant cotton worms, interstellar fungus, to a mutated bacteria formerly used to clean up oil spills and sewage leaks. No one knows...

Hahaha- isn't that just freaking horrific!? Man! I am so freaking glad I have lived a large part of my life with a detached-from-the-physical perspective or else I'd really be mighty f**ked up over this. I find it fascinating, disturbing, horrific and funny.

Thank God for a dark sense of humor.

<3
REVSCRJ

]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/6973898/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/6973898/ Sun, 06 Nov 2005 17:21:27 PST Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: Offenseless
Listening to: Something distant but familiar
Reading: bones thrown for divinatory purposes
Watching: The second hand

When I was small
I used to fantasize
about being bodiless
without form.

I do not remember the exact moment I realized I would never fly
but I distinctly remember forever after it.
rivers have been loosed in tears
for that knowledge.

Today
before you
as a man
I try to forget that for a moment but
I will fail
because truth is more important to me than you
than my own happiness
than flight.

-<3
REVSCRJ


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/5216699/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/5216699/ Thu, 28 Apr 2005 20:50:02 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: Strangely placid
Listening to: All of my days- by Sean Corkery
Watching: A world grow slowly

On another website I was spammed by a "girl" who said:

"I love ur pix, ur soooo cute- I have some too" <--linked to a porn site. I replied this:

----snipity-----

....I figure you are a spammer, which is fine by me- better bandwidth than paper a la junkmail of old- I also figure that you are male as a real woman who was actually interested would have made at least one comment regarding actual personal information accessible on my home page and not linked to a facial cumshot paysite front as an introduction. Generally its only men who'd find that appropriate.

I realize that this only informs you thus making you potentially a better spammer but here's the deal: I used to be an advertiser, a good one, because I have keen insight into the way people work as well as a genuine ability to empathize with a person wholisticly. One day I realized that where I was seeing weakness I could have been teaching strength instead of trying to prey upon it. After that realization I discovered that unintentionally I was part of what makes the human world suck on the general overall and I stopped doing it. I hope that one day you have the same realization.

Likely you won't read this, let alone take it to heart, but I do my part to try to help people wherever I can these days- even if the chances of sucsess are negligible.

Peace
<3
REVSCRJ

--snip---snip-----

I post this because I would encourage yall to do similiar when you come across obnoxious or deceptive things like that as often they are not the result of real ill intent or true decrepit grossness, but rather a level of ignorance in regard to how one affects the world, or an apathy toward that effect. Ultimately niether of which are really worth your anger/rage/stress unless you really have nothing else better to do with your time, and even then: only as a way to pass time not to internalize.

Like most of the things that one can do that will have the greatest positive effects on the world you will never see the ramifications or fruition of your actions*, but perhaps if this sort of thing is done enough we might feel a micrometer** more happy with existance as a whole, and the next generation a centimeter and so on.

-----------------------
*this may seem like a cosmic cruelty at first glance but I believe that it is really more so that one who habitually is trtying to do good is doing so for the right reasons- none of which have to do with kudos, sudden solving of the worlds problems, credit, or accomplishment but rather is doing good simply because that is what *one should do*

** Which, even this, isn't likely- but if those that came before us had been... well, this world would be a much better place specieally speaking

<3
REVSCRJ


http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4938831/ Mon, 28 Mar 2005 22:38:59 PST Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: Annoyed
Listening to: A damn jingle
Reading: My minds
Watching: aghast

Burgers in Hell
-----------

Okay so to preface this: I hurt my back trying to move my dog last week and have been laid up from it so thus I have been watching a lot of TV- something I usually avoid. I say this so the following doesn't sound like the derranged rant of a media junkie, but more the astonished incredulity of an invalid.... which I think might be better...

Anyway, there is this GODDAMNED Burger King commercial that has been playing recently which features a song promoting their new chicken-parts liver poisoning sandwich. Since the thing has Ranch dressing the commercial attempts to create a whimsical never-neverland that is a Ranch bearing the name of the sandwich. This jingle is DRIVING ME UP THE FREAKING WALL as it just will not get the hell out of my skull... but you don't care about that, I understand, no offense taken. A side effect of this is that I have listened to the lyrics completely and here is the world they paint as fairytale and idylic:

[sung] "I love the chicken tender crisp bacon cheddar ranch where the breasts they grow on trees"

This is accompanied by a half-shirted buxom woman plucking a burger off a tree making the male viewer think 'Duh.. Breassssstssss...' presumably.

Imagine the forest floor of a woods that bore meat fruit. The overwhelming mass rot, the stench, the fly larva CHRIST the FREAKING FLY SWARMS thick like smoke! Gasses like methane would build up beneath the surface in pockets so that on a good hot day fireballs might occasionally errupt from the corpulecent terrain. So "the breasts" refer to chicken breasts... are these living headless limbless chickens with beating hearts circulating grease and ranch dressing? Hey Dante- you missed a circle.

"...bacon tumbleweeds and the streets are cheddar paved..."

There are uncooked (!!) massive bacon strips depicted in the back ground during this scene that seem to move more like a snake or an eel than a wind blown dead bush. So in the afforementioned hellscape we also have uncooked pork 'roaming' the grown-battered-and-fried chicken flesh forests following the fuzzy green molded cheese roads who would conceal bacteria pools of softness where one might sink into like quicksand. Despite that possibility of drowning in a lactose rot soup, these road would likely be safer and less insect infested than trail blazing through the carcass canopied backcountry... but only by a little.

If you think for a moment about this you will realize that the sheer volume of cheese required to make the multilayered 'yellow-soon-black-brick-road' is absolutely staggering. The amount of cows and labor hours in milking and churning to create the bricks and then those spent building a gravel levy (as I am sure the dank burbling stew of decay for a ground wouldnt support the weight very well) and then paving it with the blocks requires an army of people and a legion of bovines. I ask myself "why the f**k would a massive amount of people orchastrate their energy to that end?" Well, it hinges on this:

"...there's a King that want you to have it your way..."

Depicted is a guy in a red courtly outfit with a disturbing full-head-covering mask with blank blackish eyes that bear no sign of humanity in them. Lets look at what this creature (who is oddly remnicient of a 1930's-40's stop action short Devil character I saw a long time ago... coincidence? You be the judge...) who is king over this abomnible world wants: 'you to have it your way'. The phrase 'have it your way IS the company slogan BUT it is also used in common speach when a person insists on doing something harmful to themselves despite the attempts of another to convince them not to. When the person gives up trying to stop them they say "Okay then-have it your way" This 'King-in-Red' WANTS YOU to have it your way... to follow the road of self destruction... to:
~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4716957/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4716957/ Thu, 03 Mar 2005 05:45:00 PST Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: wuh- huh?
Listening to: phones ring
Reading: encoded massage
Watching: odd developements

So I havent been all too present lately, nor right this second either- I am just wanting to give all you, whom I have grown to know and love from afar, a quick explaination.

I am training to become a sales rep for a company that makes riding breeches. For those who do not know, those are specially designed stretch pants for riding horses.

Done chuckling? Okay then I will wait.

Anyway, the company originated in Germany as a high end clothier and then created a sister company in the US. The owner gave his son the Euro company and moved here. His son promptly drove the Euro biz into the ground. Now the US company is going to go back to Europe and begin selling there again. The owner/dedsigner apparently has a reknown for the quality of his work and the clientelle are already sold on the stuff but just need to be reapproached.

Bottom line for me: no hard sell tactics, get flown all over Europe free + a daily stipend for food- car- hotel etc on top of a fat salary that with a few comission accts. that reorder regularly lands in the 6 figure zone.

Bottom line for us: it may be possible that withing the next year or so if you live on the European continent I might be able to actually meet you!

Anyway, I must sleep.
<,3
REVSCRJ


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4322874/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4322874/ Fri, 14 Jan 2005 22:27:39 PST Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: wary
Listening to: none
Reading: nothing
Watching: 1000s of points of light

Firstly let me call attention to my dorkiness before you, yes you specificly, get the chance: the whole purpose of this journal entry is to quote the Sci-Fi channels new revamping of Battlestar Galactica.



So w/o further ado, one of the best quotes I have heard in quite awhile:

"There is a reason we keep the military and the police seperate. One fights the enemies of the state and the other protects the populace, when the military has to do both the enemies of the state tend to become the people."
-General Adama, refusing the President's request to use his soldiers to quell riots

<3
REVSCRJ


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4281704/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4281704/ Sun, 09 Jan 2005 21:30:23 PST Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: a little too
Listening to: my music
Reading: subtleties in note contextualities
Watching: the length of a tube

Played on my Ephenhorn and various homade horns for like 5 hours straight today, then went and played harmonica for awhile at the ocean. I was all pumped up with joy, or so I thought it was joy, actually it was endorphines because my body recognized the process as a physical attack on its primary nerve/data center long before my consciousness did. I am left now with a very fat lip that was bloody earlier, and another blister on the tip of my tongue.............

I could say that one must suffer for their art, but what I actually would mean is "One who isnt paying attention in a balanced manner to the universe and self is going to suffer for it" so I wont say that as I would rather not lie to you all.

Speaking hurts.
<3
REVSCRJ


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4203711/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4203711/ Fri, 31 Dec 2004 15:27:03 PST Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: mmmm

Rev's "Potat-oh-my-God-I'm-having-a-stroke Stew"
---------------------------------------- -----
COMPONENTS:
Hardish baggette or franchesi bread,
8 potatoes,
2 heads of garlic,
a small fistfull of fresh basil,
3/4 cup of pine nuts,
2 lbs of assorted mushrooms,
4 sticks of butter (!! i know i know),
1 red onion,
8 stalks of green onions
1/3 cup of cream,
fresh rosemary sprig,
a bunch of spinnach.
Acouple of generous handfulls of parmesan cheese
-------------
salt,
about 20-30 pepper corns whole,
mild curry,
lemon rind shavings (refered to as "lemon zest" like genocide is called "ethnic cleansing")
----------------
COOKING:
1. Boil potatoes and peppercorns together until potatoes are about to fall apart. Drain water, let cool to touchability.

Meanwhile,

2. Sautee garlic (leave the cloves whole), pine nuts, basil (chop it up), onions (chopped) and rosemary (chopped as fine as you can w/o becoming a tedious affair) together with 2 sticks of butter- low heat.

Meanwhile,

3. Steam/baste mushrooms (whole or halved), salt, light curry, lemon rind in frying pan w/ water and lid. Med heat- cook until mushrooms are softened to the point of floppiness. As for flavor: this should taste way too salty and spiced up as it will be added to the potatoes later

4. Add mushrooms to garlic (et al) dish.

5. Add 1/2 stick of butter, increase heat and add splashes of water (or wine or whiskey- both are rather good once the alchohol burns off) to the pan fairly frequently to boil through the mushrooms and the garlic. This will eventually become nearly one substance. Before it does, stop adding water and let start to get some crispy areas ( for texture- note: if it is difficult and is burning you have screwed up via impatience and used too much heat- catch this fast or you just wasted a lot of money and food).

6. use a blender w/ cream, potatoes and spices to mix- add water as needed to make into a stew consistancy.

7. Dump everything into a communal pot, drop in 1 stick butter (because arteries are overrated). Let simmer for as long as you have the patience to do so, adding water as needed to keep the consistancy, stirring to keep from burning (DO NOT BURN: its easy to space out and let it sit too long, if you do and it burns you will have a wretched disaster that tastes pretty bad).
------------------
SERVING:
Take a bowl and cover the bottom with several layers of spinach building it up the sides of the bowl.

Pour soup into bowl (it will cook the spinach slowly over the course of the meal).
Cap the top with parmesan cheese and a spinach leaf.

Serve with sliced or ripped up hard bread for dipping 1/2 stick of butter left as an option for use w/ bread.

Feeds like 8 or 9 and if there are leftovers it gets better the next day as the spices disperse more.


http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4132388/ Wed, 22 Dec 2004 23:59:29 PST Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: Creative
Listening to: My voice
Reading: my notebooks
Watching: sine waves

Over the next few nights I am going to be recording a few MP3s of various poems I have written. If you want to hear them, message me and on AIM I will drop them into my file share folder for you to download.

NOTE: whenever I open AIM I am assaulted my hordes of chat windows and being as I am recording I wont be answering them so dont be offended- likely I will say hi but very unlikely that I will want to carry on a convo. No offense intended- feel free to grab files

<3
REVSCRJ
*please message- if I get no responses I wont bother opening AIM


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4100186/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4100186/ Sun, 19 Dec 2004 04:21:01 PST Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: fed up
Listening to: crashes from below
Reading: the letter of the law
Watching: for signs of danger

Some of you have watched me long enough to know that a journal titled with "did jah re..." is about my downstairs schitzophrenic neighbor. For those of you that dont: she thinks I spend most of my time whispering messages to her through the heating vents.

I havent mentioned this in awhile not because it had ceased, but because it had become commonplace. Her accusations of me writing and singing songs about her staying home and masterbating all day are no longer comical (in a pitiable sort of way) but rather have become nonplussing.

Recently though her mania has stepped up several notches resulting in her significant other sitting on my front porch bleeding out of a rather large gash on his hand from blocking something she hurled at him. This and her habit of barging in to my house during psychotic episodes has led to policec involvement and the potentials of getting a restraining order placed on her.

This frustrates me because I am very familiar with the affliction and could offer her very valuable insights into self curring, but because of her dellusion that I am the souirce of all evil anything I say will be considered as such.

I have also begun to fear potentials of real danger and threat...

More crap that I do not need but will invariably learn from, provided (as the saying goes) "-it does not kill me"


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4018840/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4018840/ Wed, 08 Dec 2004 12:29:45 PST Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: forgive me
Listening to: none
Reading: her eyes for hope
Watching: her body bend

what i deampt last night:

In the beginning there was a man, his friend and a dog. the dog though she was only ever known by the feeling of love as a name we shall call julia for the neccesisty of text. His friend was in some manifestation his Brother, in others a rival and it yet others was a raving maniac- there was a time even in which he was thought of as the devil, but that was a short span. In this manner the dog was a wolf, a woman, a friend, a companion, an object of pain and ultimately a bringer of great bittersweet sadness under the weight of peace.
--------
In the early days they wore skins and she rolled in thistle bushes to matt her coat and fill it with thorns for when they would hunt. Later, when they walked on concrete streets she retained this habit and he would not chastise her for it. In fact he would smile as people passed him looking at first to Julia and then to him with sour expressions on their fat faces. They were not people to him, there was only he and Julia. Together they would run the alleys and railyards sprinting and leaping- happy despite the hunger which always accompanied them as the world had ceased to be a hunting ground and they were hunters.
It was for this reason that they slept.
----------
He knew somehow that he and her were eternal. No grand super power, no cosmic insight, just immortal. As he had gone from being an ape to being a thin wirey unshaven man, she transformed into a thin full lipped lithe woman of a beauty that held sunlight around her not as if it had been captured though but as if the light loved her so that it lingerered for a moment before moving on.

One day while in a courthouse attatched to a prison they heard screaming and alarms. A man in a jumpsuit with handcuffs came round a corner at full run hurling a cop head over heels as he did so. The man ran in an attempt to escape his sentance but when he ran up to them he stopped. They stopped. They all touched eachother and there was a moment of stunned wonderment for they had found eachother again after so long. There was inexplicable joy in this even as the guards came with batons smashing down on him- at last! He would outlive his sentance, for he too was immortal. And so for this reason they found an old box car abandoned by the beach and slept.
----------
He awoke to the boxcar filled with sand almost to the top, and had a nervous panic for a moment but realized that Julia was not with him here under the sand so he crawled out to find her. the city had turned dirty and there were poor and starving everywhere. He was offered drugs and guns for purchase. He was chased and shot at. The first he found was his friend who taught him to walk with his pockets pulled out and his coat held open to prove he had niether threat nor money. He was grateful to his friend for showing him the new rules of the hunting grounds. He met julia but she had changed. Her face was pierced in the lips ears and brows. She showed him her friends, they were punks of many varieties, she showed him how to ride the muni for free she showed him her enemies, her loves, but this meant nothing to him for they were nothing to him- they were not people. There was only Julia and he. She was distant to him, very caught up in this life so for this reason he dove to the bottom of a bay and found an old car. He opened the door climbed into the back and slept.
---------------
Somehow in this new life his friend had become his brother and had transformed from a hulking predator to a fat contemplative smiling young man who made music about inner pain. he listened to his brother's music and loved it but did not tell him so for these past few years his brother and julia had been lovers. He hid himself in their house not knowing why. No want to exact revenge, just a desire to scream and howl at them to voice his pain to those who had always eased it though n... ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4001955/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/4001955/ Mon, 06 Dec 2004 10:27:35 PST [link] Gnosticism FAQ: [link] Talk to Janet666. ---------

Mood: restrained
Listening to: Tantz Debil
Reading: spellsinger, a darkly attuned mind
Watching: my fingers type

As some of you who have watched me for awhile know when I first came upon this site i was homeless. Well, an old debt came home to roost the other day...

Picture me: sleeping in an abandoned building in an old sleeping bag, head on a duffle bag of clothing an notebooks of m'poetry. Outside it is raining. I am sleeping in the very unstable second floor where random folks wont usually go due to the dangerous appearence of it. I hear footsteps crunching on broken beer bottle glass, then footstep come up the stairs. I feign sleep, and keep a hand on my knife.

"HEY YOU?! YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" - its the voice of authority, not a cop voice though- they have guns and tend to be a little less "RESPECT ME" in their inflections.

"Dude? What the fuck does it look like Im doing? Goddamn man!"

He goes downstairs. "The cops are coming" I think to myself and so roll a ciggarette as I figure it will be a number of hours before i will have the oportunity again if i have to get rousted.

They arrive before I finish smoking it- which is funny considering how log it takes them when there is real danger involved. Im told to pack gear and come out, so I do.

Standing under one of the buildings overhangs I find out that he is the owner of the place. The cops suggest that he doesnt press charges as I was niether damaging the place, drinking, or really doing anything. They ask me why I was in there and I say while staring at the owner "Well its raining and there arent many places to sleep when that happens- and its really hard to shake sickness once you have it when you are homeless." The guy will not look into my eyes.

"I want to press charges, we've had problems with this sort of person before..." Man, you have no fucking clue what kind of person I am. They cuff me andd haul me off. Later I help a cop fix his crashed fingerprinting computer, and show him how to do it himself in the future so he wont have to rely on the homeless for his tech support.

Now, I of course didnt pay the ticket or appear in court as a) I had no money and b) the courthouse is a 30+ minute drive away from where I was at, meaning that it was roughly a goddamn looooong walk that i would have to do the day before to make the 8:am court time.

Cut to the present. I am playing harmonica on the beach during a windstorm and cops come around to... uhmm say hi I suppose... check ID and whatnot... Cuffs and car, down to the station. Apparently the judge who issued the bench warrant was in a pissy mood so he put "NO OR" on it which means that I could not be released on my own recognizence. Off to county jail with me. 5 days later after having read 2 terrible books and been absorbed somehow by ossmosis into the white section of the bunks (people would move around as spots became availible actually selfsegregating the place- very weird) I am called in shackles (literally) before a judge who says "TRESPASSING?! You have been in jail for 5 days over trespassing?" I shrug. Later that night (like 9 hour later) I am released.

Heres something I didnt know before I went there though: roughly 7 out of 10 were in there for alchohol related crime. Just noting it, not making any extrapolations.

and thus these past few weeks I have been either in Jail or being at work making up for the lost days. Forgive my lack of presence.

<3
REVSCRJ

http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3786486/ Mon, 08 Nov 2004 15:52:41 PST Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
Talk to Janet666.
---------


Mood: scattered
Listening to: Tantz Debil
Reading: responses to hypotheticals
Watching: in theory

HEY YOU

yes you- LOOK are you my 10,000th page viewer? YOU ARE?!?

[marching band music errupts threateningly from an undefinable point]

WELL that means you got something coming to you...

Lao Tzu, formater of the philosophy behind the religion of Taoism used the number 10,000 to mean "all the things in the material world that distract us from attaining enlightenment, but also display the path to it". One must understand the 10,000 things to trancend them, one must see them as one or one will never achieve oneness so what you've won is one of the following:

1. A noncommercial website (if you even mention javascript, c++, or cart systems i will call the locust out on you) dedicated to whatever the hell you want it dedicated to. I will make it, you will find somewhere to host the abomination.

2. A Gnostic Reverend, Musician, Poet, Visual Artist, 'nice guy', good-with-animals-and-children roomate for the low low price of room, board, and a negotiable monthly stipend.

3. Personally guided hikes to some of the most peaceful beautiful spots in Big Sur California.

4. Sex- the gateway drug to commitment!

5. A DA makeover: 3 new ID's, 3 new animated avatars, and several clever sounding lines to use as personal quotes.

6. A themed art package for you: 1 poem/story I will write on the topic of your choosing that will be done with illustrations I will create. You will alos recieve an MP3 of the piece being recited by me with an ambiant backdrop that I will also engineer.

7. Religious services: ground consecration, exorcism, blessings, marriage, confession, or exhoneration for the sin of your choosing (not quite a "get out of Hell free" card, but it cant hurt now can it?)

8. In depth critiques on any long written work, several poems, short stories, or digital art with a focus on unlocking creativity to create a better form of expression.

9. Ethical and moral counciling (requires additional sexual favors)

or

10. Something of your imagining that is a combination of or comperable to the above.
-----------------
note: if # 10,000 fails to notice that they heard opportunity calling then the above will be given to the first to note me starting at 10,001 ending at 10,100 because at that point i will be too bitter to do jack for anyone.

<3
REVSCRJ

7.


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3754942/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3754942/ Thu, 04 Nov 2004 18:14:54 PST Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
---------


Mood: scattered
Listening to: Tantz Debil
Reading: responses to hypotheticals
Watching: in theory

...but there are only 14 days left until my birthday. I know, I know- plane tickets and busrides are going to cost an arm and a leg at such short notice- let alone buying and sending presents on time, and so I apologize. Next year I will try to make sure everyone is informed enough in advance to cross country carpool.


<3
REVSCRJ


:iconWeCritique ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3705431/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3705431/ Fri, 29 Oct 2004 23:26:46 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
---------


Mood: scattered
Listening to: Tantz Debil
Reading: responses to hypotheticals
Watching: in theory

Sorry to be less than present, as of late I have been:

1) critiquing poetry for Daily Scars Poetica, a blog-ring I started on MySpace the other day which now has 26 members and keeps growing.

2) creating a chatbot on PersonalityForge.com (this is lots of work in thought and typing)

3) frittering valuable time on sodaplay.com

4) trying to improve my sax, harmonica, and horn skills.

and

5) trying not to become gothlike by being in front of the computer 24/7

-thats roughly all worthy of note


:iconWeCritique ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3642223/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3642223/ Thu, 21 Oct 2004 12:43:13 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: Wait...what?
Listening to: "more than the" repeated
Reading: Poos in the moos for a muse
Watching: inner eyelids

I read that not too long ago a major meat farm slaughterhouse was fined for having more than the acceptable amount of fecal matter in their ground meat.

"More than the acceptable amount"

"Acceptable"

How much sh*t is acceptable for you to eat? Personally I'd say NONE, but apparently there is an acceptable amount, labeled as if to make it sound like some sort of addictive drug that had to be monitored. "Hostess was fined for having more than the acceptable amount of smack in their twinkies" "Post was fined for having more than the acceptable amount of cross-top-frosting in their cereal flakes" "Folgers is being investigated to see if the levels of crystal meth in their coffee are within or below acceptable levels" meanwhile "Harris Ranch promises less shit per pound in every buy of ground round"

"Less"

"Acceptable"

Ever see a slaughter house? Its like they roll the red carpet out for you if you show up when when they hose the floors. When a cow is killed via pnumatic hammer and rod its body goes totally tense then releases all muscle tension with death. This causes a *volume* of dung to drop all at once. It would be an easy task to simpy shovel it into a wheelbarrow and go dump it into the compost as is done on homestead style individual farms. Now, heres where the evil of numbers comes into play: in a factory farm where say 2000 or more cows may be slaughtered today each one dropping ohh as a guess 4lbs of feces (bear in mind that far more comes out than in the usual patty) which means that 8000lbs of poo need be delt with. Simpy moving that to the compost-that-those-kind-of-farms-dont-ha ve would be a titanic daily endevor- 4 freaking tons!

Solution: leave it and we'll move it with the lossage (<--ie body parts not to be eaten or ground up along with the rest to form burger, or not crushed into bone meal- hooves, hair, and random spatter is about all) that way the bulldozers can do it all at once.
Or a person is regularly waking around hosing the floors creating a liquid layer of sh*t and blood on the floor. Anything that touches the floor and then the cow corpse adds to that per cent of shit in the meat.

None of the afforementioned is "acceptable" to me. Im not a vegatarian, I like my incisors and the taste of dead things whether they walked or sprouted. I am an omnivore HOWEVER the above concept and daily application makes me want to fucking firebomb McDonalds and feed the architects of the slaugherhouses to starving pigs. "Lossage" excuse me what? Do you mean the chunks of the bodies you are hacking so fast and furious that to pick them up would slow the river of blood and since that is unacceptable you are taking the FUCKING LOSS OF IT?!?!

Capital F-U-C-K that noise with a pneumatic spiked saltlick rod!

EVIL.

I am 100% against it and yes I am an omnivore. I just cant find that sort of behavior "acceptable" or on the more selfish side I dont think that eating a little shit is acceptable.

<3
REVSCRJ


http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3491907/ Fri, 01 Oct 2004 23:37:38 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: Way happy
Listening to: a song in my mouth
Reading: the lyrics on your eyes
Watching: the seconds like centuries

10,000th page viewer
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Coming up on 10,000 page views which will be a landmark number for me- one of those semi-important good feeling events that ultimately mean nothing but sentiment. A lot of sentiment. As a result of this I want to do a few things:

1: thank you all for the mountains of support and enthusiasm you have provided. I can honestly say that my interactions with people here has improved my art by noticable degrees- all my art. I cannot thank you enough for this- it is invaluable to me and many of you I consider to be good friends despite having never physically met you- friends of spirit and thought, kin in soul. Its good to know a tribe that would have you that you are honored to be among. Thank you.

2: ask ~radiostar specificly why he hasnt bought any of my prints

3: Reward the 10000th pageviewer (or whomever is first to claim the prize after 10000) with pretty much anything they want that I can provide. Not money, I have little to none- Im sure this narrows the choices dramaticly. Like: sex, a cd of music made especially for them by me w/ cover art etc. for them, sex, a web page to feature a celebration of "youpickthetopic" custom built by me for you, a digital image series (4 horsemen, 7 sins, 12 days of x-mass- whatever you like (theres was something else...) think big!! (Im forgetting an option here) Like I said 10,000 is an important number to me so you wont be imposing on me by asking for bigness! (Oh yeah, thats right: or sex!)

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October 4th will be my 1 year DA anniversary, I feel all happy and sentimental! Yay!

[link]
<3

REVSCRJ


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3445532/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3445532/ Sat, 25 Sep 2004 18:16:42 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: Junkie w/ new spoon
Listening to: My own
Reading: 'em Dano
Watching: -the eyes

Several days w/o internet connection. At first I thought it was hot out but then I realized that those sweats had nothing to do with the weather. Stomach cramps kicked in, had to find find a line- any line, HELL I'd score dial-up in this state...

By day 3 I felt an ebb in the fog of claustraphobic endevors and saw myself the addict for what I was...

Damn good thing the line is back up or I might have changed.


Over 300 messages, if I havent gotten back to you yet-thats why. .

PAX


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3413972/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3413972/ Tue, 21 Sep 2004 12:59:57 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: covert
Listening to: clickity click
Reading: 10100100001
Watching: -out for employer

I am at work and just wanted to let folks know that I am not ignoring you all just that my DSL line at home has been down for several days. Likely back up in the next couple. 219 messages.

Cant talk, employer coming. Must look busy.

<3
REVSCRJ


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3372164/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3372164/ Wed, 15 Sep 2004 18:18:08 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: Dork Dork Dork
Listening to: Myself saying "Why, man, why?"
Reading: very little out of it
Watching: numbers vasilate

Okay, I am a sucker, I'll admit it.

Despite that I have no real ego flux regardless of what anyone thinks of me, thanks to ~sonne22, I had to do this out of some morbid curiosity.

[link]

Go ahead, do your honest appraisal.
I will cry out of view, promise


<3
REVSCRJ


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3360630/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3360630/ Tue, 14 Sep 2004 08:06:31 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: Instrument Ignorant
Listening to: Phhhh BAHPhreeeBAP
Reading: No sense into it
Watching: Fingers on brass

The Saxaphone I swear is the most counter intuitive instrument I have ever played. There are keys that do nothing unless a complex series of other keys are used and there are keys that are usually functional that go dead when you hold others.

I realize, of course that a few of you are playing air violin mocking me right now- but thats okay, you know I'd do the same.

Slowly though I can feel sense to it- wisps of the sound I was trying to get... soon very soon

<3
REVSCRJ


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3338613/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3338613/ Sat, 11 Sep 2004 09:49:23 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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One wish for today as we remember 9/11: please let there be no more suffering incurred because the wealthy of this world feel tht the live of the less-wealthy are not real, let there be no more pain or tears had because powermongers need to jerk the chins on their peoples, let no one be further duped into believing that there is a government within the concerned parties that has the people's best interests in mind,

Let their be peace despite the leaders commands.

There has been too much death already, far too many people have suffered needlessly. For them today I have a deep sorrow and for those on high who would have it continue or propagate it, no matter whose side of the ocean they might be on or in what colored house- I have a proportionately deep hatred.

For now, though, I mourn.
-revscrj
Pax Mark, wherever you might be now.


]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3302710/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3302710/ Mon, 06 Sep 2004 18:17:15 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: and yet energized
Listening to: silence
Reading: infintesimal differance in tone
Watching: an ocean

Recently on another site a woman praised my writing and asked me how I do it. After determining that she did want to know and it wasnt just a randomly said thing I replied with this. BTW: it is incomplete but I wanted to make sure this was really what she was looking for before I wrote a freaking novel to her.

-------------snip
NOTE: All these steps are done similtaneously- this is not a sequential list


1.

If you want to have art that touches people deeply, moves their innnermost being then you must know that place intrinsicly or it will only be luck or rare inspiration that ever does it sucsessfully. It's not easy to spend a lot of time down there because there are no words there and there is great knowing, in everyone. To the conscious mind it feels enormous- far larger that itself but somehow within. Truth is: what you refer to as "I" is really only about 1% of who you are and that "I" knows roughly the same % of your total knowledge. It is like a wave on the surface of an ocean and yet most people live their entire lives thinking that is the sum of what they are. Understand that ocean-you as completely as possible, while in it you will be able to see your weaknesses, fears, traumas, pettinesses and hate so clearly that you will want to turn away from them. Don't. If you want art that is fully realistic in its depiction of things then you must be able to see these things clearly or else your work will lack a depth to it- be missing a resonance of truth that will be recognized by those who are exposed to it.



2.

Once you can see these things clearly and can literally feel your deeper inarticulate side, then you must be able to translate it into words. There are many methods for doing this, but all of them include one thing: pay attention. The chattering of your consciousness has a sound to it. Do you know roughly how that sound would be metered? Can you speak that sound? Learn those things first because to recognize variation you need to know what you variate from.

Every side of you that exists in the silent depths imerges from time to time in the chatter of your thoughts and has a voice that is different than the others. Most of them are extremely subtle differences but knowing the difference between them and knowing those differences to the point that you can meter and speak them is one aspect that will cut through the resistance of an audience to hear what you are saying faster than anything else. Why? Because from time to time they hear the voice that you are speaking/have written in their own heads. Nail this and audiences WILL pay attention to you.



3.

Avoid an active social life. This sucks, but if you want to write well, you need to write a fuck of a lot in order to burn out your cliches. Trust me it can take a long time to finally get sick enough of the rhyming of 'Love' and 'Dove' that you will NEVER EVER do it again. Everyone has buckets of these cliches that are unique to them but all sound equally cheesy. Nothing but clocking the time writing will extract them. Also: an active social life equals an inactive inner life- this is unfortunately just a matter of physics- one who is focused outward isnt focused inward.

Dont seal yourself away, as that will make your art (which also means your Being) evolve like a cavefish: weak, pale, and blind. Just spend the bulk of your time alone and thinking, if not doing art.



4.

No one's opinion no matter if its good or bad can EVER matter to you. EVER. NO ONE'S. This includes your own. The purpose is not the current piece it is the process of creating. If someone says you suck, then cool. If someone says you are a fucking genius, then cool. If you say 'I'll never be a good artist', then cool. Your art has nothing to do with your ego just as breathing has nothing to do with it either. The two should be looked at the same way. Your art is an expression of t... ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3250612/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3250612/ Mon, 30 Aug 2004 20:40:34 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: Got Wood(wind)
Listening to: Squeek honk Errk
Reading: Subsonic harmonics
Watching: progression of expression

I am now going to begin a new era of lots and lots of hardcore sax. Why? BECAUSE I JUST GOT A FREAKING SAXAPHONE!!! :woot: <--there is little besides sarcasm that will make me go woot and a Sax is one of those things!

You dont know how long I have needed Sax- veritably dieing for it. Now I can have Sax so loud the neighbors will be concerned enough to call the cops- yeah, THAT kind of sax!!!

<3
REVSCRJ



]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3238102/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3238102/ Sun, 29 Aug 2004 09:41:42 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: paced
Listening to: whirring drive
Reading: pixels
Watching: you through your window

CURING ARTISTIC BLOCKS # 6: "Deal with it" or
"Constructing a word deck"
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PART 6 OF '6-OR-MORE': IT'S ALL IN THE CARDS

This one is almost solidly for the writers, and has little applicability to other types of artists. It covers the creation of a tool to help break creative blocks and ruts as well as a few example exersizes.
------------------
Sometimes you need to jar areas that are really damn hard to get to in order to snap you out of your routines. The word deck can do this depending on how well you make it.

MATERIALS: 50 or so index cards, paper and a pen or pencil.
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"Visa or Mastercard?"

Words have a charge in their meaning and impact. Need I say "faggot" or "nigger" to show that words can have VERY REAL energy to them that can often be as strong as a slap or a spit in the face? There are positive charged words as well. It is that charge that creates the power of a line in a poem, the problem/beauty is that everyone's charged words are different. The words themselves are also often not the big impact words like oh, say 'love'. If you are the kind of person that says "Oh I just LOVE chocolate. My lover's love to love chocolate. Dont you just love that chocolate colored scarf? Bye, love ya!" then the word love probably doesnt have any charge for you because you have used it to death. On the otherhand if you have only ever heard the word "Forsaken" used in the context of "Oh Lord why hast thou forsaken me?" and are deeply religious or antireligious then 'forsaken' might have a charge for you. Often the words are quirky and anectdotal as well. For example: my first girlfriend moved away to Kansas leaving me in in California at the height of our relationship. The day she left she kept singing "Ruby Tuesday" idly. As a result of this one of my BIG charge words is 'ruby', but not in the context of the stone.

So now that you know what a charged word is get a piece of paper and write down 100 words that bear a charge for you. Be patient and dont rush, the better you make out this list the better the deck will work for you- its worth taking the time to do well.

Now you have a list of 100 words. On your index cards write the words 2 per card in playing card style (meaning that when one is right side up at the top of the card the other is upside down at the bottom). If you have words that are similar then write them on the same card so as to avoid having them come up sequentially. Example: If you have 'hate' and 'despise' in the list put them on the same card, but also if you have 'love' and 'mate' if your reasons for charge are similar.

Once you have written them out you now have a word deck that is very specificly tied to you and your inner associations to language as it relates to life.
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THE EXCERSIZE

I am only going to throw down a couple examples so that you can get an idea of what sort of things to do with the deck as part of the beauty of it is that coming up with ways to use it stimulates creativity as well.

1) For poets: No loss for words

Shuffle your deck and have a pen and paper ready. Pick up the pen and dont look at the paper. Draw a card. Whatever word appears place your pen on the page and write it there, YES THERE- no dont move it a tidge this way or that, RIGHT THERE. Repeat this about a dozen times.

Now pick up the page and write a poen beginning at the top and whenever you come to a word use it. Try not to worry over this anticipating the coming word but rather let the sentances flow into the words you have drawn. Despite your attemting to let it flow you will probably feel anxiety the first few times you do this- thats okay, ride it out, it will go away. Okay you finished the long, akward poem? Reread it slowly. Reread it again.

Now free write for 20 minutes or so. If you built y... ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3213065/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3213065/ Thu, 26 Aug 2004 05:50:40 PDT Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: paced
Listening to: whirring drive
Reading: pixels
Watching: you through your window

Okay, tons of deviations to go over in my in-box, be patient I will slowly but surely go through them all. Thanks for all the support yall have given me throughout the days here- especially this Summer when I was unable to give the depth of commentary and frequency of attention on and to your art as I would have otherwise. Love for you, from me.

REVSCRJ



]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3166522/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3166522/ Thu, 19 Aug 2004 16:54:57 PDT .
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Mood: bittersweet happy
Listening to: another adiue
Reading: meaning into all things
Watching: the road

Well, statting later today I am off to camp en route to driving Aidian back to Portland. Its been so good, this time he's been here- I already cant wait for winter break.

I have packing and such to do so I need to make this curt, thus: if you need to reach me before Sunday night thats too damn bad for you because I wont be availible.

Have good days, back soon.
<3
REVSCRJ

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3126973/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3126973/ Sat, 14 Aug 2004 20:07:03 PDT .
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Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: Many at once
Listening to: cheese
Reading: faces for their mazes
Watching: knees like a pretty please

-the ephenhorn playing event that is.

Well, first off it was city hall so as you can imagine their was little abillity to be really raukus. The percussionist I had arranged to play w/ me didnt show up and there was a hellishly cheesy keyboard player who was playing tunes like "When you get lost between the moon and new york city" style lounge jazz. He was playing when I arrived and the woman who invited me to play said I should talk to him in regard to how we should schedule playing. I've known a couple lounge style, wedding keyboardists in my time and they are a vaguely desperate backbiting lot so I just circumvented possible conflict by coming up and saying "mind if I play along"? He nodded.

Bear in mind that I would leave the room if this stuff were playing in that room, STILL I managed to pick up the lines pretty fast and not clash too much- damn challenging, was sweating like a pig at first.

Funny thing: while I got nothing but exceptionally good feedback from the atendees, he said "Yeah thats pretty good but I wouldnt quit my day job." Ha- wonder how he wouldve felt if he knew I'd only been playing horns for like 4-5 months and was complimenting his likely 2 or 3 decade piano playing arrangements improv on the fly. I couldve tore into him but just smiled and went to talk to a couple of my friends who had shown.

Speaking of which, met the lovely ~ blindsquid there and exchanged a few words but speakers started moments later and drove her off.

Letsee... spoke to congressman Sam Far on the nature of junk percussion, and recycling. Ive delt with polititions before and no matter what side of the fence they choose to set their tent its always cold there. I am wary with their kind. He was no different.

Overall the best thing about the show was that I had the first validation in context with another musician playing as to my skills with horns. I can now w/o any selfdoubt call myself a horn player and klnow that I can bear the weight of the title amid other musicians. This makes me exceptionally happy, despite no percussionist

<3
REVSCRJ

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3096008/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3096008/ Wed, 11 Aug 2004 00:05:43 PDT .
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Mood: Hmmmm
Listening to: the data compile
Reading: tickertape
Watching: the numbers come in

And so the breast-avatar experiment is over with the final number being:

revscrj
has 7,813 pageviews

which = 986 pageviews in 2 weeks or 70.42 unique ip hits per day for that period.

Including this period of time, my average pageviews per day have been 26.13 (stat by: [link] )

The leap was considerable. Comments and favs however were not significantly affected which reaffirms my suspicion that most people came expecting to see nudes and the like but were disappointed and left. Not all though, I have had some interesting interactions with people who came for the tit but liked the art.

All and all I conclude that the breast will increase your numbers dramaticly but will not further expose your art.

Not all too unexpected but now tangible.

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3062074/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3062074/ Fri, 06 Aug 2004 23:49:07 PDT .
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Mood: like Im cramming
Listening to: ephenhorn
Reading: dissonece from harmony
Watching: my lips grow strong

If you happen to be in the Monterey area around august 13th I will be performing on a variety of Ephenhorns at Seaside city hall from 7p-9p. I know little about the event except that it is based on recycled art and since my horns are found object creations...

Still, I have only been playing horns for a few months and find that I have something I havent had about public performance in a long time: butterflies. Its nice, if I focus on it I can get sweaty and dry mouthed.

Ive played music most all my life, it will, I am certain, be tolerable at worst so I have the perspective to laugh at my gut flutter. Anyhoo, come by, say hi- if I havent met you before introduce yourself by your DA name and I will appear less suspicious of you

<3
REVSCRJ

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3023180/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3023180/ Mon, 02 Aug 2004 00:26:40 PDT .
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Mood: glass on a beach
Listening to: cycles everwhere
Reading: a sequence
Watching: the gears grease

Curing Artistic Blocks 5: Whirled Series
---------------
Part 5 of "Some number 5 or more"

This portion covers an easy way to keep the visual artist creating while "the well" seems dry. It can be adapted for poets or those of the prosaic proclivity.
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Its a world of lists

I have known a few visual artist have blocks over content specificly, like "I just dont know what to paint!" Its that feeling when you have your white surface in front of you and it appears like an abyss where the depth fluxuates from infinite to claustraphobic, where the brush touches the surface and you *know* "THATS WRONG"! This is because, in most cases, you are not open to creating. You may have nothing to say at the moment in your conscious mind and are forgetting that the chatty part of your psyche is only the tip of an enormous iceberg that is you. In previous CABs I have covered a couple of reasons for blockage and ways around them so for arguement's sake lets just say that the problem is: you have no idea what to create but want to create none the less.
--------------

Content is simple to supply yourself with, especially if you are a visual artist. Pick any series of anything to use as a topic and paint your interpetation of that series out with a piece per unit of the series. Examples: days of the week (how exactly does Thursday look to you?), emotions, weathers, governments (what would feudalism look like if it were a person?), decades (depict the 60's, 70's, 80's etc), social cliques (goth, emo, jock, hippie etc) and so forth. The series shouldnt be mundane (historical spoons for example) and if it were mindrippingly complex you wouldnt be blocked for content reasons alone now would you? I have found that broad common generalities work best because they hold deep ground and acsess parts of you that root far into the psyche. Whenever one stirs the muck down there creativity will follow. "Street names" might not work as well as "School: each year" because of the personal as well as socially prevelant number of metaphors and concepts that can be attatched to the theme.

So youve picked the theme, now we hit a fork depending on what kind of approach you take in your art. If you make presketches for your art then I would say the next step is to write a list of all the units within your chosen series; if you dont make presketches, go immediately to the first one that comes to mind (though I would still suggest at some point listing them all so that you can set an attainable goal to reach, this does wonders for motivation). Now begin creating in the medium of your choice.

Finish the series.
Finish the series.
Finish the series.
--------------------
Results:

I will bet you that if you chose something a little challenging but still flexible you will have not only created a set for your portfolio, but will have opened up avenues for new pieces via the issues raised while creating these ones, at the very least you will have stretched your metaphor-into-image skills making it easier to create in general.

<3
REVSCRJ

Member: of ... ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3013525/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3013525/ Sat, 31 Jul 2004 19:28:47 PDT .
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Mood: Loved all over
Listening to: crowds
Reading: faces for threat
Watching: the surge of the mass

God my European/Asian fanbase is freakish- check this stuff out:


The happy SCRJ song brought to you by the people of Taiwan:
[link]

My European Fanclub site, to think: I was only 10...
[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

Oh christ!! I have enemies too: [link]

DAMEN SCRJ: is this a good thing?
[link]

From the SCRJ fanparty:

[link]

[link]

Then, of course is SCRJ-fest:
[link]

Or my legal classes in North Carolina:
[link]

Then theres my security agency:
[link]

MY FREAKING CD!!
[link]


Likely this is only funnny to me.
<3
REVSCRJ

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3007624/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/3007624/ Fri, 30 Jul 2004 22:40:23 PDT .
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Mood: Strung out
Listening to: low humm
Reading: vectors
Watching: them move

For those of you who think there are too many hours in a day and just nothing to fill them with I lead you to this: [link] a great devourer of life, a site to suck to soul out of a person, it eats your time like some freaking Chronos in the nursery of you. Beware. Its like crack.

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2985689/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2985689/ Wed, 28 Jul 2004 05:18:04 PDT .
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Mood: bouncy
Listening to: whistling contruction workers
Reading: expressions aimed down
Watching: for eye contact

New avatar. Bleh. Bored.



Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2985683/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2985683/ Sun, 01 Aug 2004 23:28:34 PDT .
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Mood: but bouncy
Listening to: whistling contruction workers
Reading: expressions aimed down
Watching: for eye contact

As of Aug.1 11:25p I now have 7,302
Or: 475 unique-IP hits in about 4 days. Seems as if the breat experiment is proving to be exactly what was theorized. 11 days left.
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Has 6,827 pageviews as of avatar change.

This journal entry can be gauged as an accurate time for the experiment's beginning.


A cover-up journal to follow- disregard please

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2985169/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2985169/ Wed, 28 Jul 2004 03:08:05 PDT .
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Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: unblocked
Listening to: Everything
Reading: graffiti
Watching: a random person

Curing Artistic Blocks 4: Use your fellow man
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Part 4 of "that many"

Though presented for writers this excersize can be adapted to suit visual artists experiancing blocks as well. It requires that you leave the house. Chances are for not very long- dont panic- and not very far. Apologies to those who might be unable to move due to a debilitating physical condition or internet porn addiction.
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The Human condition is utterly rife with the grist for nearly an infinite number of stories, however the blocked artistic mind is trying to funnel the ocean through an eyedropper. Often, since we are taught to be result-oriented, this may lead to the artist looking at the eyedropper and freaking out because the drops arent coming... so much so that they forget about the ocean behind it. This excersize is a simple reminder of how much there is to grab from if one realizes it is there.

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Use anyone at all for your own ends!

Go outside and start walking until you see someone. If this requires that you must drive somewhere, bring a notebook, a pen and try to pick a location near a park or somewhere that you will feel comfortable writing w/o the likelihood of someone you know interrupting you.

Walk until you see someone, anyone, the first person to catch your eye. Focus on them in as great of detail as you can. Look at the lines on their face, the clothes they wear, their demenor, their stature, their expression- take it all in. Follow them for a short distance if you must but try not to scare them. Once you have absorbed as much as you feel you can from them go to the place you planned to write (or home- whatever the case may be) and do the following (note- each of these can be done with the same person but its best if they all can be done w/ different people):

1) Describe the person you just saw not just physically but mentally and in terms of the overview of their life.
2) Describe the person in their youth (if old) or their old age (if young)
3) Write a stream of consciousness piece from their perspective
4) Write a piece about the person in from the perspective of someone else in their life (a realitive, friend or spouse)
5) Write a piece on the topic of "The day it all changed for me" from the person's perspective. Whether the life change is for the better or worse is niether here nor there.
6) Write a piece from their perspective if you and they were trapped in an elevator for a long enough period of time that you became comfortable talking to eachother.

etc. These topics could go on forever- like I said "an ocean".
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Results

Simply put: this excersize is to remind that we process reality through our creative filters and that the creation of characters is all internal but is cued from external sources. Whenever you feel the well is dry simply look up from the page and you will see that you are amid a world of wells waiting to be tapped. This excersize also shows that though you may draw from the world for catalysts to your creativity it is ultimately a structural magic inside that builds the stories your creativity produces.

<3
REVSCRJ

Member: of http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2982222/ Tue, 27 Jul 2004 18:29:40 PDT .
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Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: curious
Listening to: Human chatter
Reading: signs in nature
Watching: trends and forms

...So I am thinking about performing an experiment. That being: if I were to change my avatar to a a female nipple or a full breast, would my page hits suddenly leap? I am betting that they would. I am just curious by how much. Of course this is a cheap tactic and is really a rather gross statement about human male and female nature, smacks of sensationalism and such... but I am really curious... still thinking on whether to do it or not... Pageviews arent important to me at all- I have been having great interaction with a number of truly talented artists and I believe my art has improved dramaticly due to this. My reason for wanting to do it is really more a morbid curiosity...

Any feedback?

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2960295/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2960295/ Sat, 24 Jul 2004 21:41:30 PDT .
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Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: 4 eyed
Listening to: the bloom of a voice
Reading: trees of experiance
Watching: similarities grow diverse

Curing Artistic Blocks: This is what you think.
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Part 3 of "insert algebraic letter"

This portion is specificly writing related whereas #2 can be used for inspiration regarding any art. It can yeild at the least a method to connect with characters in a writing, at most can assist in learning to view all sides of a given situation.
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In order to write a good character, one must understand a good character. The most real and developed example that one has is one's self. This is why some authors main characters are almost always the same in basic feeling. It is also an example of poor writing skills in the overview.

This excersize can be applied to any real or fictitious situation, either as a writing tool or as a psychological assistant.
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Think of an emotionally charged incident in your life- one where there were multiple people involved (at least you and another person) and all concerned parties were in an extreme psychological state. The state can be anything- grief, anger, happiness etc- as long as the state is in some way at odds with the one you were in (the emotion can be the same though: a la "a fight with a lover").

Take a moment to trace the moment to moment movement of the scene. Get the memory clear in your head as to the words exchanged (or as close as you can- dont trouble over precision here) the gestures of the parties and the scenery etc.

Clear. Okay. Now write the scene from the perspective of the person who was at odds with you. Include the inner thoughts of the person as they flow. Do this as realisticly as possible, remember if you depict an arguement in which someone was being stubborn its unlikely that at anytime they thought "I am wrong but I dont care coz Im stupid and mean." Likely they thought that they were correct the whole time. Make that work in a real way on the paper. What did they think after you said X ? How did they realisticly "not see your point"?

Repeat with any memory or, if writing a story, try writing a finished scene from a secondary character's eyes in order to make the story feel more dimensional.

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Results

Hopefully this will give a series of insights both on to self and on to the potential inner workings of others while at the same time taking charged experiance and using it for the grist of writing. Doing these things aids a writer in creating realistic characters as well as breaking down the barriers inside as to what can and cant be acsessed for creative usage.

<3
REVSCRJ

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2930261/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2930261/ Tue, 20 Jul 2004 23:54:44 PDT .
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Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: Geckoeyes at twilght
Listening to: A kind shriek
Reading: it as it hits the page
Watching: sides sew seams with bayonettes

Curing artistic blocks: When in doubt let the caged animals out.-
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Part 2 of "some-herefor-as-of-yet-unknown-number" of parts

This portion covers a simple but effective unblockling excersize that can really produce some disturbing but freeing results.
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A little acid can unclog a drain

I have often found that in periods when I havent been writing but sincerely wanted to it was invariably because there was something that I wanted to write about that I simply wasnt letting out. Its as if the subconscious was saying "Lets talk about this" and since I said no, it shut-up. Now when it was happening it wasnt that clear of a black and white situation. I would sit down at a coffee shop and struggle for an hour over two or three stanzas of half hearted crap which appeared more like a self emulation than an original work. Frustrating as all hell and I didnt know why.

Once it was because I was in a stagnating relationship and was a t the teetering point of clinging to the love and running from it- I didnt want to answer the question that I was silently always asking myself- thus the writing stopped.

Once it was because I had an affair while with a wonderful woman and the guilt was ravaging me. Stupidly I tried to ignore it away which required not looking inside myself- thus the writing stopped.

Though this excersize might seem unrelated it is in fact a literary endevor that, if done honestly, can touch your deepest dark. I call it "Getting in touch with my demonic side"
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Everyone has insecurities and deep wells of self doubt- its the nature of how we have evolved into a form that is assured continual evolution *regardless of the pain*. Every one has these pits of self loathing in one form or another and very likey tries to keep a real tight seal on their inner cage for it (or they are a Goth ).

Despite that seal, there is a voice that will come to you that does not sound quite like the normal stream of blather that burbles about in your brain- the difference can be subtle or dramatic depending on how dynamic your peronality is. It is somehow a little louder, acousticly facing you (as opposed to fading left and right randomly in your skull as your normal stream will do). It speaks acidicly and the moment that you do something stupid it leaps on it like a dog on a bone calling you a "FUCKING IDIOT" well before anyone else can. It is the part of you that bites claws and spits on you.

Do you know why this thing in you is? It is there for two reasons: to improve you by letting the various schisms of your being know what they are doing wrong, AND in order to hedge you into a set of behavioral rules that you have chosen adopt. It means you no harm at its root.

"Then why is it so damn mean?"- watch how monkeys interact when displeased with eachother. It is vicious but quickly over with. Then understand that we are 100x more savage than them both inside and out. That part of you isnt being mean, its being real.

Bottle that beast long enough and its like a boiler ready to explode. So let it.

EXCERSIZE:
Write in the voice of your inner beast talking at you for as long as you can. Let it speak the breadth of those statements you feel you want to cut off in the middle as they are thought. Dont temper the things it wants to say with qualifiers like "sometimes" or "kind of" when what it wants to say is that you "are" a weak willed bitch, because 'you' have nothing to do with this flow and that is as much a skill in writing to learn as it is a theraputic device to unclog with.

Likely at first it will be akward and feel a little on the juvinile sid... ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2912935/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2912935/ Sun, 18 Jul 2004 17:56:11 PDT .
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Stock: [link]
Gnosticism FAQ: [link]
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Mood: A flow
Listening to: the silence
Reading: stars for czars
Watching: dominoes omnidirectionaly

A few folk have been asking me for ways to unblock creativity lately so I figured I should save finger strength and post some excersizes in a journal rather than individual responses. If mispellings bother you then you have my sympathy that you let such things interfere with enjoyment of art and more importantly: quality of communication- in other words: I make a lot of them.

This portion covers 6 questions to hopefully help clarify what the hell your problem is.

Part 1 of "however many it takes".
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What is your damn problem anyway?

The first thing to ask yourself is why you have the block in the first place as the answer may provide an immediate solution. I know I know "I've BEEN asking myself that for days!!" Instead of asking "Whats my problem?! Why cant I create?" ask yourself the following:

1) What is different in my life now that wasnt present when I was able to create?

--such as a new job that requires a lot of time, a new mate, a move to a new enviornment etc. To cure this simply make the time to create regularly regardless of the toll or ask yourself how important art is to you? More than the mate? the job? Important questions that will answer themselves over time if you do not confront them. Think about how many people "Used to [insert art form] when I was younger but just havent done it in [decades] a while"

Would it be okay if you became one of them?

2) Has my own style become boring to me?

--here is where art appriciation classes actually have an application Try styles that are *vastly different* from what you like to do. If you write complex structured poetry try writing haikus and beat style free verse, if you paint demons and faces try painting still lives and landscapes. It will suck, it will be tedious and it will be painful. Dont stop until you have become 'decent' if not 'good' (depending on how harsh you are on yourself) at the form. Not only will you find that your skills have increased in areas unexpected, but your style won't be all that boring any longer.

--Pick up an unrelated art. If you write, play harmonica; if you play piano, learn sculpture. While doing this, try to find the similarities between the arts and apply the skills of one to the other. This may be frustrating, but it is certainly not boring.

3) Have I reprioritized (intentionally or not) the value of making art in my life?

--For instictual reasons we tune out MOST EVERYTHING that is constant in order to recognize the unique/unfamiliar and potentialy dangerous elements in our sphere of perception- this is good for survival, but unfortunately it is bad for one who lives where 'survival' itself is not in question but 'quality of life'. See: quality of life requires refining and honing that which is constant into a better form, where survival requires that it be only aknowledged. Psychologically speaking, this sucks but is simply a matter of evolution being slower than societal saturation- nothing you can do but evolve out of it.

Because of this trait we tend to tune out the good and most appriceated parts of our existance along with the pains, routines and annoyances that are commonplace. Danger here for the artist who relies on focus! The only way around this is to constantly appriciate the place art has in your life AND try to variate its essence as much as you can so as to keep the reptile brain regarding it as exploration rather than relaxation.

4) Am I being lazy in my approach to art?

--"If it aint broke dont fix it" will stunt the growth of a living thing and should never be applied to anything but machines. What I mean is: your art is a life born from you that you teach and... ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2792436/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2792436/ Sat, 03 Jul 2004 01:21:53 PDT .
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Mood: estranged
Listening to: a different drum
Reading: palms for alms
Watching: a bonzai soul shape itself

I have spent my life unifying my personality. Born schitzophrenic ( [link] referance) I self-cured and didnt stop. We are taught to be so many people- 1 to the cop, the lover, the family, the friend, the boss et al. This schisming of our psyches makes us weak, or if not weak it shortens our potential by the mere time it takes to be a multiplicity of selves as opposed to a singular self. Perhaps because of the afforementioned disorder I saw the illness in this a bit more clear and whether right or wrong have since sought to make myself 'one'.

I have noticed that love relationships require a part of oneself to be given in sacrifice to the other as a show of faith to the bonding. The more sacrificed, it appears, the better. This sacrifice is usually a) sex with others and b) the release of a hidden part of the self that is not given to anyone but 'lover' and c) time. I am most concerned with "b"- that [in the sterotype male example] side that cries and cuddles that is supposed to be kept undisplayed an repressed. You see: I dont have a side like that. I have found that in the unification of my selves I am the same to a good friend as I am to a lover minus sex but not by necsessity (usually just prudence). I seem to lack a hidden part of my psyche. I speak with the same attentiveness to truth and depth to a lover as with an impassioned stranger- this is not because I give less than I should but because I give more in general than most regularly do. I do not open up to a lover because I am already open.

The usual reaction, never spoken but clearly visible is that there is a flimsiness to the fiber of the relationship because of this.

My question: is this just the nature of the process and unfortunate? Or is there some factor I am not seeing?

<3
REVSCRJ

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2733421/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2733421/ Fri, 25 Jun 2004 11:06:15 PDT .
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Stock: [link]
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Mood: Hahaha- people!
Listening to: my song fill silence
Reading: railroad- $25
Watching: confused strangers

I had to mention this:

After Aidian went to sleep the other night I went down to Cannery Row to play my homemade horn. People always confuse it with a beer-bong so I have named it the "Ephenhorn" because, well, ITS AN F'N HORN! So I am almost to the ocean when I pass this guy who stops and asks:

"Whats that you got there?"

"Its and Ephenhorn- basicly pvc, duct tape, a fuel funnel and heater hose."

He then looks at it for a moment and says:

"Hmm, it DOES look like an Ephenhorn... but you made it yourself you say?"

A wide smile crosses my face.
"Yeah, its a lot cheaper than buying a new one and it sounds just as good."

Haahahahahahahahahaha... "...it does look like an Ephenhorn..." Thats a traditional Swiss goat herding horn isnt it? Hahahaha...

<3
revscrj

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2689025/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2689025/ Sat, 19 Jun 2004 15:21:57 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: Looking forward
Listening to: Computer fan whine
Reading: pixels per inch
Watching: my skills bloom

Check out my featured deviation- its a pic of my son
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Well the 19th is almost upon me and Aidian will be here. I am so damn happy! Life has been really good t me as of late. I've been making music that I love on instruments that I built out of found objects. I have had the sun on me warm like a simpler time, I have had the appriciations of beauty curl up to me and be my friend. This is glorious. My days sweep me off my feet. This makes me fear what will come to balance it- but fear only for miliseconds as I dont want to waste a momment of the joy that likely I will later pay for.

Finished the song portion of :devkisamogwai 's prize for being #5000. Moving on to the avatar, poem and visual art piece.

My son will be here, as I said on the 19th, so I will say another adieu for the 3 months he will be here. Dont feel like you need to respond to this I feel guilty about having posted the one before.

<3333333333
revscrj

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2634999/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2634999/ Fri, 11 Jun 2004 09:08:57 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: Really damn good
Listening to: Horms in stormdrains
Reading: signals
Watching: life like a poem untold

~KisaMogwai






Make your way to the cushy-couch-of-privilage, watch the clone-dancers and their 3 x 2 dance of the "menage amoeba".

There was supposed to be clowns but it turns out clowns are minions of evil. Funny that, not "haha" funny, more "honkhonk" hellfire funny...

Take your time and think of something to ask of me. I await your messanger.

<3
REVSCRJ

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2633004/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2633004/ Thu, 10 Jun 2004 23:53:45 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: Really damn good
Listening to: Horms in stormdrains
Reading: signals
Watching: life like a poem unfold

TO THE 5000th PAGEVIEWER:

Okay, as I have done before so shall I do again as I am routinely addicted to habits like this. If you are the 5000th pageviewer c/p it and note me or post it and I will do something for you. 5000 is a milestone number so think big: a poem written into a picture that is accompanied with a song. Here is a list of my skills that I am willing to list:

1. Visual art Digital 2 and 3d, traditional 2 and 3d in pen, pencil, and acrylics.
2. Music: Slide guitar, piano, horns, recorder, drumkit, hand drums, metal percussion, sound engineering, harmonica, synth, bass, digital sequence creation, post production, voice, didgeridoo and I am learning the fundamentals of bowed strings.
3. Massage................ "THERAPUTIC" massage.... No thats not 'code' for anything!
4. Hiker: I could show you places in Big Sur that would make you reprioritize sex beneath it in prefered things to be doing.
5. Teaching: I know a lot about the art of art and know a cornucopia of creativity unlocking excercises. I have taught creative writing to high school students, for what its worth, and so am used to the form of ciriculum.
6. Writing: I write poetry and short stories.
7. Sex: well, Id sooner have a poem from me than sex but thats just me.

Soooooo.... with that in mind, feel free to come up with a request for me accomplish for your being #5000. Think grand and dont fear the challenge to me as 5000 is a good reason to be challenged.

Lastly: if #5000 doesnt post or note me, then that means the first to post or note after that gets the art or whatever-your-heart-desires from me.

BONUS FOR GLOBAL RELATIONS: if you happen to be a citizen of a country that IS NOT the USA, you CAN REQUEST TO MARRY ME!

*note though that I will be pretty inactive while my son is in town (see previous journal entry) so it may take me a stretch to complete it, but it will have love and sweat in every pixel/note/whatever.

<3
REVSCRJ

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2558977/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2558977/ Mon, 07 Jun 2004 20:00:20 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: Overjoyed
Listening to: A world 2 busy
Reading: walls
Watching: the flowers grow

TO WHOMEVER BOUGHT ME THE ADDITIONAL 3 MONTHS OF SUBSCRIPTION:

Damn nice of you!! Thanks greatly! I wish you wouldnt remain anon. as I would like 3 things:
1) to know who it is that I am thanking
2) to repay you, maybe a pic. or a poem or something like that.
and 3) to know what motivated you into doing it.

Anyway, if you feel you have to remain in the shadows like a Santa-ninja, then so be it. Know that you make me happy with your kindness and want for me to remain here (I wasnt going to leave, but its good to have such positive reinforcement ) Again: thank you!
<3
REVSCRJ
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Damn these stubby mistyping digits!
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--Here for a bit longer and no I wasnt just trying to fish for compliments--

As it turns out my son wanted to have his birthday party up in Portland w/ his crew/posse/tribe/.org/homies/cadre/peer- group/crowd/gang/cabal of friends so he wont be here till the 19th, giving me a bit more unobligated time. Just thought I'd let yall know so that when you see no decrease in activity you dont think

"That bastard pulled a compliment out of me by lieing about his Son! How much lower can one sink for ego strokes?!? God!"

<3
REVSCRJ

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Just to let everyone know: I will have my son for the Summer, the full 3 months, and thus my presence on DA will suffer for it. So be it. My son is my primary joy and yall's future messiah so far be it from me to deny my role in shaping the destiny of life on Earth.

I will be checking mail on a regular basis but dont expect many comments or submissions during this coming span. After he has returned to Portland to his Mother I will again be as psychoticly active as ever.

Much love to all of you, watched and watchers alike, for the incredible art and constant support that yall have shown over the time I have thus far been here. Its a growing thriving and beautiful community we have here and I value it dearly.

Starting this weekend though you wont be seeing much of me for a few months.

<3333333
REVSCRJ

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2495029/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2495029/ Tue, 25 May 2004 10:10:43 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: sigh
Listening to: ambled humms
Reading: it all in braille
Watching: a thumb piano turn

Im gonna be recatagorizing and you might get some subs that you have seen already, Im not sure- anyway forewarned

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I just had a very satisfying Jehova's witness experiance. No, that isnt a contridiction in terms. I explained Gnosticism to them and why it is that I respect their beliefs- aside from the 'no coffee' thing (pure evil). I went on to mention that I can give them no truth just as they can give me none we could only potentially assist eachother in finding a truth at best. They respectfully wanted nothing to do with me and gave me looks like they really wanted to leave but I was still talking.

HAHAHAHAHA- I experiance a small pleasure in a not-so-mean-spirited role reversal

////
0_o
_||_

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2473967/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2473967/ Fri, 21 May 2004 00:02:22 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: in the land of blind
Listening to: something loud
Reading: rhyme in the sine
Watching: complete cohesion

While I am on the topic of gnosis let me tell you about a thing that happened to me while I was living in San Fran. CA. USA that I consider to be a holy experiance.

The day began with Aikido class where I was learning the natural flow and course of all energies that are directed, how they are given certain weakneses simply by having the the privilage of movement in a directed way- another example of "nothing comes for free" or "all is in balance". I felt particularly connected that class, my chi pulsed and I could move it by degrees. I felt the power that is the divine fragment from which this identity has sprung fungal-like. I felt the gotterfunken, the divine spark of joy.

Later that day a friend Laura asked me if I would like to go to a Yoga class with her and her significant other and a former significant friend of mine, Dave. I said yes.

Ive tried qui-qong and a few breathing techniques before and really had no significant results, but THIS was incredible. The breathing in combination with the stretching coupled with the spiritual state of understanding from the Aikido earlier propelled me into a deep yet fully conscious meditative state. I was there and not there, both utterly. If you think that is a paradox then you underestimate what your spirit is capable of. Later the class ends and Laura, Dave, the instructer, and myself begin to walk to the instructer's house to drink wine. I lag to the back of the group, mind totally silent, so I cant talk. This is not unusual, but this time I cannot focus on the words themselves. People speak and I feel intent but cant string together the meanings of the words.

We arrive at her house. I barely manage to say "Im not feeling social, Im gonna keep walking." Dave and the rest give the obligitory quizzical "oh okay" looks, in good nature and when Dave hugs me goodby it was suddenly excrutiating. I could feel the bond of friendship between us as a physical sensation, as a raw exchange of viceral energy. I could feel it exiting me flowing into him and his into me. I could feel the very place in my being that must be opened for me to be a friend and the place in them that must be opened to receive it. It hurt. It hurt not because of its nature but in the way that looking at the sun hurts but laying in sunshine feels good- it hurt like I had been living in a cave and was teleported into bright daylight. I rudely, but necsessarily circumvented the other hugs.

The feeling of awareness was growing. Sound was muted and I could literaly see translucent ripples with each step I took. I look over at a piece of trash blowing everso slightly in the wind and I could see these fluxuating fields around it that would jut unevenly off in various directions. I was confused for a second until I noticed that as the wind moved it, that it would exactly follow one of the fields. I looked at a rock. It had a dull glow of the field barely a skin over it. I realized that I was seeing probability fields, or the potentialities of a given object. I was SEEING quantum possibility expressed in the form of a physical field!!

There I am squatting looking at garbage and such when suddenly I feel this f'n surge of heat from behind me at the same time that the taste of lemon floods my mouth and the sent of rose is thick! I pivot to see what the hell just happened and there is this guy walking past me. He is so clouded by these fields of potential that he is distorted by them, so much so that eyes alone are not enough to percieve it and just like speakers overdrive and distort my abillity to perceive this was pushed to its limits and "overdrive" was the cross sensory flood of flavor and sent to express his potentials. I must have been looking at him like a freak, but "luckily" it was an American city where everyone is ignored by everyone else.

Needless to say I thought "I have to get the fuck away before this gets worse".

I went to the public subway train station and sat down. I was shaking, I wasnt ready for this. I was trying to take it all in but the rate of it was too much. It was literally pushing my abillity to percieve to the very breaking point. Every person I came into proximity of was a symphony of scents and flavors and fireworks of potentiality fields. Each person was a freaking miraculous vision of glo... ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2453109/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2453109/ Thu, 03 Jun 2004 19:24:34 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: Happy to explain
Listening to: you
Reading: everything
Watching: a selfreflective universe

*note: I will add to this more later, and as needed.

[I am posting this because a number of people have asked me what the meanings of Gnostic, gnosis, and Gnosticism are and though I am happy to explain I am going to destroy my fingers typing the same things over and over, which is not the way I am to be martyred. ]
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Q's:
Is Gnosticisim a religion?
Agnostic?
What do Gnostics believe?
You mean that Gnostics make up whatever they want?
How do you know if you are right?
So why havent I heard of this before?
Are Gnostics antichristian?
How do I know if I am a Gnostic?
How many Gnostics are there?

Is Gnosticisim a religion?

Yes, but it is not an organized religion nor is it a missionary religion (meaning: we dont seek to convert people to our faith, nor do we build churches or tithe and invest in weaponry).

Agnostic?

No. Same Greek root: gnosis = to know and A = not, thus an agnostic is one who does not know and a Gnostic is one who knows. The subject of that knowledge is the divine.

What do Gnostics believe?

What do scientists believe? Gnostics are as varied in their beliefs as they are in numbers. There are a few basic commonalities that can be put forth as a loose set of unifying beliefs:

1. All beings are unique and with purpose
2. All relationships with the divine are unique
3. Due to the unique relationship with the divine there is no dogma that can be preached, no book that holds all truth.
4. One must find commune with the divine in order to know what it is in regard to you.
5. I cannot give you 'the way' but I can assist you in finding it.
6. Respect for the paths of others is honoring the diversity of the Divine.
7. The Divine communicates to us.

More than that and I would start describing 'my path' and not Gnosticism.

You mean that Gnostics make up whatever they want?

Only the scam artists. Did Tourqumada live by Catholic scripture? The Inqusition's victims would say a loud "no" to that. A gnostic path requires that you look for what the divine is teaching you through experiance and demonstration, so a dedicated and honest Gnostic has as little "control" over what his/her beliefs, morality, ethics, and truths are as the xian who reads a book they did not write to find them. This is a WHOLE LOT of control mind you, as interpetation makes worlds of difference. The Xians have a saying "Even the Devil can quote scripture" which to translate into a Gnostic equivolent "Everyone psudeojustifies their selective blindness". No, we dont make it all up so to speak, we just choose the bits we want to believe in hopes that they lead us to higher truths.

How do you know if you are right?

You dont, ever, no matter what your faith or lack thereof. This is a great beauty of a gnostic path though. In admitting the bogglingly complex nature of the universe and being we are not so hubric as to say we are 'right' and therefore we can grow and evolve.

As a note though: if you are *dramaticly wrong* for reasons of obstinence, selfabsorbtion or such and crave truth however, the divine does slap you upside the head with demonstrative circumstance pretty clearly though.

So why havent I heard of this before?

As I said earlier, nonmissionary religion. Its not that we hide or anything, but unless someone is a selfproclaimed reverend we tend to be pretty low profile, and for good reason...

Well... in the early A.D.'s when the X-ians and the Mithrites were duking it out to see who would be the dominant religion the X-ians pretty well slaughtered most of us as a way to unwind after a hard day of slaughtering the Mithrites.

Since then a few idiots have used the banner of Gnosticism in order to spread their agendas. If you have heard of us you may think of Fascism, or Crowley's Golden Dawn. Gnosis as a whole has nothing to do with either.

Gnosticism is not the religion of the Thelamites, Nazis or the Crowleians. It is a religion of 1's not masses of any sort. On... ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2426227/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2426227/ Fri, 14 May 2004 07:47:12 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: Nosey
Listening to: weird complaints
Reading: too much into it
Watching: hair

I posted a new Dev ID, and lo I get a comment saying I should edit out the nose hair. "What?" I ask myself as the dog looks at me expectantly (believing all words to mean 'food'). I mean is nose hair not in EVERY NOSE on the face of the Earth? Minus of course the pot smokers trying to light little roaches, the makers of ammonia, and fire breathers whose friends like to make them laugh at inappropriate moments.

...and anyway, whats wrong with nose hair?

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2378462/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2378462/ Fri, 07 May 2004 11:21:31 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: drifty
Listening to: echoed
Reading: the darkness
Watching: the darkness

Played the Ephenhorn into the storm drains while a friend played didgeridoo yesterday as the sun set and I actually felt my skill level improve as I was playing. It was amazing. I felt my mouth and tongue refuse certain mental commands responding that they were wrong (would have landed me on the wrong note) and instead do things I did not will (like play harmonic distortion rhythms off of the storm drain echos). Her didgeridoo sound created a rich bassy back drop that I danced audibly with through a gamut of emotions from play, to passion, from joy to misery. Endorphines like a velvet jackhammer! Mmmmmmm gooooood.....

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2348218/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2348218/ Mon, 03 May 2004 11:06:53 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: incredulous
Listening to: honk toot phweeee
Reading: lips, my own
Watching: confused dullards

So I finally came up with two potential names for the horn I made out of heater hose, Duct tape,pvc, a gas funnel, waterbottle tube and a copper pice connector: The Ephenhorn or the Noboe. Why? Well you should see the expressions I get when I am walking down the street with it. The well off will up turn noses and look at it as junk, then at me like junk. The average person just stares at it as they pass and dont make eyecontact with me. At best they ask me if its a beer-bong. I heard someone on the bus tell their GF they think its the shell for a pipebomb. YYYYYYeahhhhh..... It prompted me to write on the side upon some duct tapt: "ITS A FUCKING HORN OKAY!? NOT BONG NOT BOMB" which yeilds both NOBOE and EPHENHORN.

Which do you like better, out of curiosity?

---addition-----------------------------

Okay so I am a little rushed here before work but Ephenhorn seems to be the winner, hands down, of yall's opinion. Ephenhorn it is! Personally that was my favorite of the two myself. RADIOSTAR: no, somehow I doubt you are one of those people, I figure you more for the 1 out of 50 who looks at the horn, looks at me, looks at the horn and then thinks 'what the hell was that?" Those people assume that they know.

Bye all

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2337721/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2337721/ Sat, 01 May 2004 13:09:39 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: Baaaaaah
Listening to: crowd noise
Reading: the riot act
Watching: us marching in step

Okay, so I am a sucker, but I DID as the 3 questions of 2 other devs so I feel that I should in turn do this too.

Ask me three questions, no more no less, and I will answer them to the best of my ability- personal as you want, as vague as you can muster. Shoot.

Then put this in your own journal for people to ask of you the 3 questions...

<3
REVSCRJ

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2328554/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2328554/ Fri, 30 Apr 2004 23:03:01 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: grrrrrrrr
Listening to: two notes harmonized
Reading: redshift with the naked eye
Watching: The slow arc of physics change

Recently I submitted a poem "Jams and Preserves" [link] . The title has nothing to do with the piece, and though there are metaphors easily drawn between them I did not draw them when naming it. Why the name then?

Well: one day a friend gives me a notebook for a blated birthday gift (Writers: do you too get a lot of notebooks and pens?) its shrink wrapped with "NOTEBOOK" machine screened onto the plastic. The plastic is clear so I not the dark impressionistic floral pattern that covers it is a little on the soccer mom side of the fence, but hey- what do I care about such things?

Wanting to check if it is blank or lined I pull the plastic off to only find that it is... a recipe book...

"Where did you get this?"
"Uhm.. at Laura Ashley's..."
"You shouldnt go there anymore."

If they dont have this store where you are let me just nutshell it for you real quick: corporate chain women's specialty store that you would find in a mall, LA, or Hell (forgive the redundancy) if the afforementioned had a middle class social climber populace in the area. Body washes, lufas, essential oils, smart clothes, mantle clutter, fake plants and apparently "notebooks" as well...

I grabbed the plastic wrap just to be certain and nope, there was no mention of cooking screened onto it. As if to say "Well WHAT ELSE would a woman be taking notes on silly?"

"Maybe the big game, ya sexist biotch!" (is it okay to use 'biotch' to refer to a mysogynistic woman?)

"Maybe the stock market. Maybe her plan to rebuild the old chevy she has junked in back."

I can hear the snide reply: "Oh sir, that clientel doesnt come here- the only leather we carry are purses."

"Ahh, if by that crack you mean in society that strong women are into bondage gear Id have to say that you are wrong- coz here I am amid some of the weakest females Ive seen in a long time and the shop is top to bottom filled with bondage gear!"

-which is a point that occured to me a long time ago: a leather mask and gagball are not bondage items when they are volentarily put on, only when someone is forced to wear them are they bondage items before that they are sex toys. A nametag, hairnet, suit and tie... those are bondage items UNLESS you are lucky enough to have had someone teach you how to live off the (quickly vanishing, entirely owned) land. That store sells leashes when it comes down to it, but they recently added a glass celing department.

-Im sorry, what did you just grumble? Oh heh yes, "What the hell does this have to do with the poem?" Right right, sorry my fingers were wandering there, the poem: the notebook was divided into several sections (soups, deserts, baking, jams and preserves, meats etc) that poem happened to be the first in that section.

<3
rev 'anticlimax' scrj

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2307695/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2307695/ Tue, 27 Apr 2004 04:22:17 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: Dirty, not sexy
Listening to: one note hummed
Reading: sines in the waves goodbye
Watching: Ghost images of wraiths

Okay I am now officially done w/ te 3 songs I ended up making her becuase I was dissastified deeply w/ the first 2 and a little bit with the 3rd.

Rrrrrr.


This means I will be making more music until I express exactly what I wanted to express, damnit.

Sooooo anyway, I am taking themes again. If you want a picture made just throw me a theme from as wide opened as "Blue" or as obscure as "Gnostic Scrabble" I will make it.

If you want something specific, good luck- Im not a good studio musician either. A theme on the other hand I can run with!

Music and many 's to the grand and devilishy beautiful [link] for putting me in the position where I put her in the position to make me put myself through artistic frustration on a musical level.....

HEY RIGHT NOW
GO COMMENT ON A RANDOM DEVIANT!!
They'll appriciate it.

Member: of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2251003/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2251003/ Sun, 18 Apr 2004 18:32:00 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: Productive
Listening to: myself
Reading: sliders on a virtual mixer
Watching: a virtual eq

For the 2500th page-viewer [link] autumnal-tears I have been tasked with making a song... which alas means I will not be able to post it here, but if you like you can hit her up for copies when its made . Until then Im not going to be taking themes just so that I can focus more on it (been a few months since I worked with digital music).

I'll journal again when Im taking more themes.

<3
REVSCRJ

Member of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2239821/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2239821/ Sat, 17 Apr 2004 02:10:32 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: Speedbumped but :)
Listening to: A coming request
Reading: palms
Watching: whats important

...autumnal-tears!








She has yet to tell me my task, but rest assured it will be carried out with the zeal, zest, verve, and moxy of a fanatic.

(btw: I am still working on your piece LaSerpentia, I havent forgotten)

"Gimmie a theme of any sort and I will make it happen"
-any theme throw it out here!

Member of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2232878/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2232878/ Fri, 16 Apr 2004 02:53:46 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: NumerologicalMotives
Listening to: Your request
Reading: The note you send me
Watching: :invisible:

Soo, I already have this "Give me a theme I'll make a pic with it" thing going on a regular basis, so heres the deal to whomever hits 2500th pageview:

Pick one from the following:

1. Being a Reverend, I can offer the following: I will consecrate some ground for you, marry you to someone/thing, "put in a word", or make you feel exceptionally guilty for just being yourself.

2. I can make you a song that will be sent to you in MP3 format.

3. I can write you a poem on the subject of your choosing ANY SUBJECT if I dont have an opinion/understanding regarding it Im sure I can use semantics to avoid it being necsessary- political figures do it daily.

4. I can make you a image- same terms as #3

5. I can make a poem/image two fisted art thing (see those poetic skills just brimming over)- same terms #3

6. We could go camping together in a remote location [link] .

7. I would allow you the incredible multifold blessing of having a live-in Reverend, Poet, Computer Tech, Visual Artist, Musician for the unbelievably discounted price of supporting 1- count em- "1" person! After all, when you sneeze wouldnt it be nice to have someone around whose "bless you" has clout?

8. Something of your choosing that includes mutual nakedness

9. Something of your choosing that doesnt include mutual nakedness

10. Absolutely Nothing!

Also if you could respond to the journal it would be appriciated, because IF the person doesnt notice 2500 the next person to c/p the page view # 2501 + gets one of the above.
<3
REVSCRJ
Current theme: "Change no longer exists" for [link] La-Serpentia

"Gimmie a theme of any sort and I will make it happen"
-any theme throw it out here!

Member of ]]> ~revscrj http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2217247/ http://revscrj.deviantart.com/journal/2217247/ Tue, 13 Apr 2004 17:50:40 PDT Stock: [link]
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Mood: Delight
Listening to: a honking sound in key
Reading: the road
Watching: the traffic

-so Im walking down the road playing a homemade french horn (PVC pipe, heater hose, and duct tape) when this woman runs up to me enthusiasticly explaining how lucky and amazing it is that we ran into eachother! I am leery, at first- enthusiasm from strangers directed at me makes me think that the best option is to bolt.

Turns out she is having an art opening in a month or two and wants me to play at it. Shes a photographer but apparently the other artist featured makes her art out of recycled materials.



As to whether is pans out, we shall see, but all in all a great gesture on the part of circumstance toward making me feel happy.

Thanks [fill in the blank, please]
<3
REVSCRJ

"Gimmie a theme of any sort and I will make it happen"
-any theme throw it out here!

Member of ]]> ~revscrj