http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:schmuck55&section=today deviantART RSS for by:schmuck55 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 15 Dec 2009 11:40:29 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/4378453/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/4378453/ Fri, 21 Jan 2005 16:08:35 PST
I rock so bad. ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/3779972/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/3779972/ Sun, 07 Nov 2004 20:04:16 PST
Until the end of November I will be participating in National Novel Writing Month ([link])

The idea behind NaNoWriMo is to write 50,000 words (roughly 175 pages) in one month. Seeing as I am already a week behind, I need to get up to speed.

This basically means I will be unreachable until midnight, november 30th.

Hopefully I will be successful. If you have ever met me, chances are your personality, your words, or something about you will be used in my novel so BEWARE.

Please e-mail me if you plan on joining nanowrimo. ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/3407794/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/3407794/ Mon, 20 Sep 2004 16:08:32 PDT
And I'll cry if I want to!

(I secretly love that song. There's just something about some chick on helium that I LOVE) ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/3293805/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/3293805/ Sun, 05 Sep 2004 15:42:20 PDT
If there is ever a prize for "Weirdest end to a relationship" then I will surely win. Honestly, it's all just so ... awkward. I don't feel any different now. I'll go ahead and assume that makes me a cold-hearted bitch.

School is keeping me so busy that I'm not gonna have time to think about it much, which I guess is a good thing. And hopefully after a while it'll stop feeling so strange.

I just want to be normal. Is that so much to ask? ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/3122070/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/3122070/ Sat, 14 Aug 2004 06:47:58 PDT
And, as luck would have it, it was the latter. I feel worse now than I did before camp. Sure, I was insanely happy for two weeks, but now that they're over I feel a sort of emptiness ... I miss the people and I miss the place and the structure and the games and the atmosphere ... When I was there I felt like a little kid and that was a GOOD feeling, and everyone else felt the same way and there was no hate, just playful kidding around. And love, there was lots of love. Everyone knew everyone and when you said goodbye you knew you would see them the next morning, but you hugged them anyway.

And the final goodbye was full of tears and wishes.

And I come back here and there are things I'm just not sure of anymore. Things that anchored me solidly to the ground before, that I start to question now. Did I pick the right thing to study? Was I right not to get a job right away? Am I taking on too much?

If my mom keeps making me so angry and I keep pissing her off, should I really stay here?

Do people really want me around or do they just tolerate me?

And there is one big question, one that bothers me night and day, that I can't tell anyone. Because I'm not sure of how I feel and I don't want to hurt anyone and it just SUCKS.

That's right, it sucks. I said it. I may have an enriched vocabulary (thanks to english class), but the best word to describe the situation is "SUCKS".

Goodbye. ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2852683/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2852683/ Sat, 10 Jul 2004 23:21:57 PDT
I can't sleep through the night and I wake up even when I have the chance to sleep in and my stomach hurts for no apparent reason. I feel like a little baby, when they're crying and no one can figure out why. My stomach just aches and aches, and it's not cause I'm hungry or cause I ate too much.

And it's not stress, either, because why would I be stressed? I don't know.

I want to sit down and watch a sad movie and have a good cry but the tears don't come, because I've been holding back for so long that it just comes naturally now. I figure if I just cry out all my sorrows, it won't bother me anymore and I can go back to living a semi-normal life, but my body is against me being normal, I tell you.

I don't want to see anybody and I don't want to talk to anybody but at the same time, I want to curl up in my blanket and have someone rub my back while I'm sleeping and tell me that everything's okay and that they're watching over me.

I want to be alone but I don't want to be by myself. Or the other way around. And I don't know how to achieve that.

I sit at my computer and I turn on the screen and then I remember that I was here 2.5 seconds ago and that there was nothing to do. So I get up and go downstairs and open the fridge and surf the channels and come back upstairs and hope that something interesting will come up because I just can't stand the boredom.

There are so many good things. Why do I have to be Miss Gloom-and-Doom all the time? For chrissakes, I should be goddamn happy but for some reason I feel the same way I did when I was depressed, like there's something looming over me that just won't go away, and I'll never be happy again. ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2819230/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2819230/ Tue, 06 Jul 2004 17:27:29 PDT
Come on, guess.

If you guessed me, then you are RIGHT! Well, actually, we haven't bought the tickets yet, but it is 99.9% sure that we are going so it's all good.

This is gonna be awesome. August is gonna be a great month, I have so many things to look forward to. Hurray! ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2797250/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2797250/ Sat, 03 Jul 2004 19:16:22 PDT
I miss the boy and the boy misses me and its just a great big circle of delicious misery, ain't it?

I'm going to go wallow in the abyss of self-pity and listen to sad, longing love songs and count down the days because I'm pathetic like that. ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2622524/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2622524/ Fri, 25 Jun 2004 14:34:51 PDT
Well, this was a productive journal entry. Exams start in a couple of days (AKA untimely doom is pending).

Alright, don't beat me up. I know I stole some guy's avatar from the front page, I just wanted to see if it would work. And plus that guy from Office Space really rocks. ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2433409/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2433409/ Sat, 15 May 2004 09:25:37 PDT
Went to the Dashboard Confessional show yesterday. It sort of really kicked ass. I saw some people who graduated from my high school last year and needless to say they all look like dirtbags/hobos now. Does cegep really do that to people? I fear for my well-being and hygiene.

I got a pretty kickass free sample CD on my way out. Lots of bands that are fairly unknown but who rock anyway. Will be listening.

Now I have an exam to go to at McGill. Hurray for me.

Must I repeat, fuckity fuck fuck fucking fuckers? ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2221863/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2221863/ Wed, 14 Apr 2004 12:24:46 PDT
I also love when he breaks that guy's arm. "AAAAAUUUUUURGHHH!" Never thought someone could scream like that.

Is there some kind of sickness that makes people deathly afraid of picking up the phone? Or is it simply that some individuals have lost their map to this particular technological advance? Or perhaps Parkinson's Disease has crippled them to the point where they are unable to pick up the receiver ...

Maybe I'm just overthinking. ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2218227/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2218227/ Tue, 13 Apr 2004 21:28:52 PDT
I also got chocolate. Oh, the chocolate. My stomach hurts ...

Today I went downtown to make my cegep course choices and shit. You know what? Next year I'm gonna have to travel an hour to get to school, and an hour to come back. Two goddamn hours a day.

I better learn to read on a moving vehicle without spewing, and fast, because or else I will have nothing to do. ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2165770/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2165770/ Tue, 06 Apr 2004 15:49:08 PDT
Do you think I could learn german? I think so. See, if I do exceptionally well in English next year I have the option of dropping it and taking spanish or german. And god knows I don't want to take spanish again ... Lord, those four years were PAIN-FUL.

I've talked to some people and they are all like "German is hard, it's all big complicated words like arrrhgfhjhlkgheje and it doesn't make any sense."

But I think I could do it ...

Anyways, economy is hard, I never want to take it AGAIN. I'm going to make my course choices next week. REMIND ME to stay far, far away from anything with a name like "economics". I will have to shoot myself. Really.

If you would just loan me a gun ... ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2117843/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2117843/ Tue, 30 Mar 2004 18:10:31 PST
Macbeth sucks. I don't care how great Shakespeare was, Macbeth was NOT one of his great works. It's dull. It's complicated. Is it such a wonder Romeo and Juliet is so much more well known? No, because that is a good play. This is just BAD.

Was the hope drunk
Wherein you dressed yourself? Hath it slept since?
And wakes it now to look so green and pale
At what it bla bla bla Macbeth sucks.

Exams soon ... expect to find me hanging from the shower curtain pole some time next week. That combined with the fact that I think I lost my cegep registration papers is going to make that week unbearable.

Oh the agony. ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2007574/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/2007574/ Sat, 13 Mar 2004 22:35:46 PST
Why is my room so fucking cold?
By Camille Israël

Why is my room so fucking cold?
Is it because my window is open?
No; it is duct-taped shut, actually.

Is it because the insulation is worth crap?
No, it was just redone this summer.

Is it because my heater is off?
No, it's turned to the max.

Right outside in the hall it is quite warm.
But upon entering my room the temperature
Drops at least 10 degrees.
(That's Celsius)

I think my fingers are frozen.
It doesn't matter, I can't feel them anyway.
Maybe if I was wearing more than just
A tank top and some pants,
I wouldn't be so fucking cold.

There are icicles at the bottom of my bed,
Of that I am sure. If not,
How come when I go to sleep my toes
Are so very, very cold?

Why is my room so fucking freezing?
Is God against me? Have I sinned so?
Why couldn't he send me to hell, with the other sinners?
At least it is warm there.
What a bastard.

Springtime, the sun is shining, the flowers are blooming
Yeah right.
Global Warming, my ass.

It is so cold. Wish someone was here to warm me.
Like perhaps a lit match.
Or a grizzly bear, I hear they're pretty warm.
Maybe a couple of mongooses would work too.

Look! The cold is affecting my brain.
Mongooses? What the hell am I thinking?
Oh, I know exactly what I'm thinking ...
I have only one thought, which is the following:
Why is my room so fucking cold?



There. It's a work of art, I tell you. ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/1964195/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/1964195/ Sat, 06 Mar 2004 18:46:58 PST
[end sarcasm here]

PEI project is KILLING ME. Economy project is KILLING ME. History debate is MURDERING ME VIOLENTLY WITH AN AXE.

I was such a fool at the beginning of the week. "Oh, it's only monday, I don't need to start working!". Yeah, right. I said that on Tuesday too. And on Wednesday. Before you know it it was Thursday night and I had started exactly ZERO of 20 bazillion things I was supposed to do this week.

Can you believe I get even more angsty than this? Trust me, sometimes I'm so whiny I make myself sick.

By the way ... CLICK HERE!

"I don't need large brains to have a good time."

Bye now. ]]> ~schmuck55 http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/1958955/ http://schmuck55.deviantart.com/journal/1958955/ Fri, 05 Mar 2004 19:45:02 PST
Personal project is KILLING me. Well, not really, because I'm such an expert at procrastination that all I have done is my introduction, but the mere THOUGHT, the mere IDEA of work makes me shiver in my shoes.

I'm so bored. Sex and the City only starts in an hour and a half, so I have time to kill and there is no gun/hatchet/weapon of mass destruction in sight. I've been doing nothing all week. I've been to two movies by myself. I'm so pathetic I should hang myself.

If some people would just CALL when they SAY they will, maybe I'd be in a better mood. But nooooo. Picking up the phone is just TOO HARD. Damn it.

Signing out now. ]]> ~schmuck55