News and Annoyances

~sej — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:06:20 PST

Shitbalz

My mother has lung cancer that has spread to her brain. It was just discovered a week ago. She was put in the hospital immediately. Im freakin out! Its almost impossible for me to think about. Im pissed that her lame dr didnt check her out AGES ago. Shes had a horrible cough for a couple years! Shes been smoking since she was like 14. Seems to me that an xray or something should have been done. The only reason it was found was because the tumors in her head are so big they are pressing on things and hurting her. WTF?! She is getting radiation on her head now. Which I am terrified about. Shes only had 2 'treatments' and shes already sick and she has 8 more to go. How much of her healthy brain will be corrupted from that poison they are shooting at her? After that they will begin 'treating' her lung cancer. She has alot of hell ahead of her.

So im my attempt at self preservation, Ive been spending time looking at, playing and reading about things I like. And getting annoyed there too! See I LOVE everquest2. It is the best mmorpg game there is. By far, it IS. But the masses are in love with a dumb game called World of Warcraft. Ive played it. Its a completely dumbed down EQ2 that looks like it was made for gradeschoolers. Soooo many people talk about it and play it and say how wonderful it is. Its amazing to me! And that so many people have never played or sometimes never even heard of EQ2 confounds me. I admit, Sony has dropped the ball in the advertising department. I see adverts on tv, in mags, all over for world of warcrap. But nothing...NOTHING for EQ2. Why this is, I cannot fathom.

I have been playing EQ2 since right after it began. I tried a few races and classes before settling on an Iksar Necromancer as my main. She is awesomeness and if I could become her, bring my family in to Norrath with me, I would do it in a heartbeat. I am not obsessed with this place, I just enjoy it mightily.

There are very few things I complain about in EQ2. One of my biggest, tho, is that they made some things extremely easy to try to lure in the dumbos from wow. Crafting used to require paper and pens and math and lots of note keeping. All of which I adored. But now you just sit there and click a button or two and youre crafting. BOOOORING! I fall asleep half the time. And they changed the horses. The old models looked terrible. I was overjoyed to see the new ones when they announced them. They look great! But then I saw them move and it made me miss the old ones. The oldies were very unrealistic looking (to my horsey loving eye) but the movements, especially the running, was PERFECTION. Now, they barely move when they run. Their heads are frozen like a carousel mount! And we sit on them like a statue. BUT...they have a great flank jiggle that is pretty realistic. So, yea, thats like the only thing I have to complain about.

Im going to post some screen shots of some favorite places. I would rant some more, but we are going to see the inlaws today and i need a spot more sleep before we begin the big stresser of the day. I want to stay home and hang with me mums! Stupid family visiting at the worst time ever :[

Plus the babe is calling me :}

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Bollywood and Mad

~sej — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 11:03:18 PDT

Spring is coming!!

My little girl is 14 months old now. Ack! Mad is bigger than most her age and it makes her seem older than she is. I wish the tiny baby stuff lasted longer! Time is going too fast. She can almost walk now, too. She learned to pull up and stand and does it almost constantly. While visiting my granny at my Aunt Glo's, Mad also learned that she could climb! There is a single step going in to the living room. SHe spent almost the whole visit climbing up and down it.

To keep Mad occupied for a few minutes while I try to get things done (like change the garbage or feed the cats) I put music videos on the PC or I play movies she likes. Shes not a huge fan of TV, but there are a few movies she likes. The first was a Bollywood movie that I rented, Saawariya. Its a gorgeous movie with great music. I liked it a lot but Mad was mesmerized by it! I kept the Netflix movie so long that I eventually just bought it. She especially likes parts with an old woman, Lillian. She will giggle and smile and point and clap her hands. She loves her! But not as much as she used to. Shes getting bored with it. So Ive tried other movies to no avail. Shes just not that in to non musical, non animal stuff. So I rented Hairspray, thinking she might like the music. She was not impressed. Then I rented another Bollywood one and she likes the music parts, the rest she doesn't even look at. Om Shant Om is a wicked funny movie and nice to look at and a great story and I'm going to buy that one as well.

Im glad Mad is already liking things that are out of the norm. I doubt that there are many American babies who re exposed to foreign things. Heck, not many adults are either, for that matter. Not that Im any expert or anything. I just like to experience things beyond my own walls. To know a little about other people and ideas and sounds and music and everything. I hope she stays open to these things. People are people, they're all alike, no matter where they come from. We all want the same things (love, happiness, etc) no matter what we look like.

As for the music videos, Mad really like Vampire Weekend. I do too, thankfully, cause I hear them everyday! Almost every time I play A-Punk, she starts dancing. Its sooo cute! She also likes Beyonce's Single Ladies. But I think part of that is the video, she likes to watch people and the dancing is cool. She likes Beeker, too. Muppets rule! She loves Bing Crosby too, so Ive begun dloading some of him, too (White Christmas is one of the movies she really likes). She is mostly ho hum about the others I play like Dominic Frasca and Beck.

The weather is getting warmer all the time. I'm so glad!! I cant wait to get out there with Mad and play. Right now its super muddy and it will be for a while so I bought us rubber boots yesterday. Hers are wicked cute!! She doesn't like shoes at all so it will take some time to get her to wear em. But now, at least, she can put her feet on the ground if she wants. She likes to practice walking. I hold her hands and she can hike all over. I love it

Right now she is trying to crawl up in my lap, so I must go!

Heehee!!

==============================
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Well! We three got back from a very short visit to Maine this week. Granny needed a ride home from her sisters place in Halfmoon. Granny said she would pay for gas and we said yahoo! We'd been up there to visit when Mad was 4 months old, shes now almost 9 months so I was dying to see everyone again.

Our ride up was gorgeous. It was a cloudy day, very cool, and the trees were out in full force on top of the mountains. I tried to get photos but its tough to get anything food while in the back of a moving van! This was the third time going over Hogback that it was so foggy we couldn't see anything. If it had been clear, the view would have been amazing.

We got to Granny's rather late and we were all tired. My Uncle Jon was there (he lives with Granny) and seemed pleased to see us. He spent the entire time before we went to bed laying on the floor talking to Mad and trying to get her to laugh. It was a little uncomfortable for me, but it was ok I guess. The next morning (Sunday) we got up and Granny told us that Jon got up early and left with a packed bag and didn't talk to her at all. Huh!

That afternoon Mra came over. Ooo! It was sooo nice to see her! Shes like a sister to me and I miss her terribly. Mad was ok with her, too. See, Mad is afraid of everyone now. But she was hardly afraid of Mra at all! She could hold her right away and Mad didn't cry one bit.

A little while later my aunt Mel, my cousin (her son), Moe, his wife, Julie and their adorable son, Max showed up. The last time I hadn't seen Max an Julie for something like 3 years. And Moe, geeze, Max was only a few months old. He snow about 5! Cripes time flies.

We all had a great visit. Max seemed to really like Mad. We call her Squishy and he thought that was super. So he called her that the whole time we were there (Julie says that he might always be Squishy yo him!). He liked saying the word so much that everything a little soft became squishy: the wet ground, our cheeks, his cheeks. It was cute!

This was the first time I got to talk to Julie. We never got much of a chance to before. hes great. I really like her. Shes funny and smart and cute and I wish she lived out this way so we could be friends. Plus it was nice to have another mommy to talk to. Mommies rule!

They left in the evening. It was hard to say goodbye to Moe, especially. When I was little I used to wih I had a big brother like him. Hes a very good person and I miss him!

Mra stayed longer. We visited late, until Jon came home, visibly, stinkingly drunk. Mra left right away and Shane and I went to our room to go to bed. Before long we heard voices, I thought they were just talking so I went out to fill up a bottle for Mad. As I walked thru the living room I realized Jon was arguing with Granny. I hurried back to our room. I told Shane and I turned off the fan so we could hear. Yea, I was eaves dropping! You should have heard the things he as saying! Well, maybe you shouldn't. They were terrible things. Mostly about me and Shane. He was basically saying he and I were shit and Granny was a bitch for bringing us there and he was throwing her out! We almost left that night, but we waited till morning because, well, he can kiss my butt! I wanted to see the beach and Mra and say goodbye to Granny.

So that's what we did. Granny made us awesome omelets and I tried to not cry when we left. We stopped over at Mras and visited in the yard with her and Mel and the dogs for a while. Gads its hard to leave them! I miss them so much Mad enjoyed the dogs, though. She loves animals.

We went to Wells beach. Mad looooved the sand!...

Mad Updates

~sej — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 04:47:45 PDT

Shes growing up

Mad went for her second round of shots recently and though she took the shots much better this time (last time she was inconsolable after. But this time her fever got to 102), her Dr said she was underweight. Or rather, she wasn't gaining at the same rate she had been. Mad has only gained 10 ounces in the last 2 months making her 11lbs, 5 oz (i might add here that Shane and I are short, little people. How can you expect average-above average sized babies from folks who are below average in size??) and though the Dr wasn't too alarmed by that she instructed us to supplement her breast feeding with formula. Which I'm NOT happy about! She didn't talk about ways to improve my milk supply or anything. I already know how to do that, but still. I didn't like that she went straight to formula. When we got to the car Shane wanted to go right to the store and buy formula. I wanted to get my milk up and increase feedings and skip the formula, but after some words, we went and got formula. And some solids. I'm ok with feeding her some solids, but this formula crap sucks!

It took a few days of trying to get Mad to eat formula. She was not impressed. Cant say I blame her, stuff tastes like shit! Smells even worse. Uhg. BUT...Shane has bought me a new breast pump to try (which I hope will be here very soon!) so I can get my supply up and faze out the formula. Mad is still breastfeeding regularly, but I'm producing less milk than I was as shes also eating around 8 ounces of formula and 5 ounces of food a day.

Ive taken to thinking of the formula as medicine. The first week of feeding her that crap I cried through out every day. Giving it to her feels so wrong! And makes me feel broken. The doctors are such freaks that I wasn't allowed to give birth naturally and now I cant feed her either! WTF?! Babies aren't numbers. Everyone is different. Loads of people give birth to babies bigger than Mad naturally. And loads breastfeed exclusively for months longer than I have. Its very hard for me to not be depressed about it. Very depressed...

But the solid foods are fun at least. I tried rice cereal first. She hates it. I tried mixing it with breast milk, formula AND water. Each way was quickly spat out! So I tried peas. Icky Mum!! Then sweet potatoes. Hold on folks, we found a winner! She adores them! She also likes carrots, apples, bananas, and prunes. She didn't like pears for the first two weeks, but I tried them again last night and she found them tolerable enough to eat a whole jar. She also tried instant potatoes last night. We were having them for dinner and shes a huge beggar now so I let her try them. The plain ones were kind of icky, she said, but the ones with gravy, mm mm mm!

She has definitely gained some weight. Her legs look different and her face is fatter. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but the Dr will be happy and wont call DHS on us. Why do they think every baby should be a fat little Michelin Man Clone? Doesn't seem healthy to me (and isn't from everything Ive been reading! America is so behind...).

In other news some creature has come and murdered 3 of my hens. First it came and killed Perleand Thing Two (I discovered poor Banya
in the coops yard all alone after spending the whole day witht heir bodies. He was so afraid he let me scoop him up with no fight at all), then the next night came and killed my marvelous Danger
. I was so pissed that I told Bruce to shoot what ever it was if he found it. But then I came to my senses and changed my mind. I love my birds dearly, but what ever animal came and killed them didn't know that. From my research Ive come to believe its a raccoon. It left the bodies where it killed them and only removed the heads and mangled the breasts a bit. Horrible. But I guess thats like a calling card of raccoons. So now all my poor birds (5 roos and only 4 hens left, one of which doesn't lay and the other bum eats her eggs, so we only get two eggs a day if were lucky. not that it really matters to me) are locked up in their winter coop. Miserable and confined! But safe at least. I'm going to fix up something else soon. With lots of live wire around the outside to fry anyone who tried to get in!!!! Stupid animals.

But to end on a happy note, here are some new pictures of the sweet lady, Madelyn!

mmmm Carr...

Journaling in the Cold

~sej — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 08:14:48 PDT

Gads its cold!!! Barely 65 in here right now and theres a terrible breeze coming in the windows

But really, I do mean to journal more. I really do. But lately Ive been rather depressed and not feeling like I can enjoy much of anything. Things here are the same, if not worse, than they ever were. Mom and Bruce are still treating us like were horrible parents. We don't hold her right, bathe her right, I don't nurse Mad correctly and her wild hair drives my mom nuts. I cant understand them. Sure, some advice is a good thing, but I'm not getting that, I'm getting criticism. Alot of it.

The other day Shane took Mad down stairs to give me a break so I could nap a little longer. She was being fussy so he was walking around with her and had her up on his shoulder, sort of hanging over it (which she likes), and her head brushed against this little wooden sled we have hanging on the wall. The sled weighs maybe a pound, its a decorative thing Shane's mom painted. I doesn't take much to move it (we bump in to it all the time because its hanging on the door jam and sticks out a little in to the doorway). But Bruce acted like Shane smashed her head against the wall or something. Mad didn't even notice anything had happened! When he came back upstairs he told me about it and warned me that my mom would be crabbing at me about it. And, sure enough, the next morning when I saw her, she did! I was telling her how Mad had a tough night and how I think shes teething already. Mom seemed to think this was stupid and told me she was probably having headaches from getting her head hit. !!!! OMG! I was incredulous! I told her this is a huuuge reason why I hate coming down stairs for visits with Mad. All we get are them moaning about how we do everything wrong. ITs not a nice time for us. I have to sit there while stinky old Bruce holds my precious baby and coos over her and says the most annoying and inane things to her. AND I have to hear them b***h about what a terrible mum I am and how Shane is abusing Mad! Yea, ok Ma, Ill be right down.

And on top of that, I have a tooth ache. Yippy. Why do teeth have nerves? Whats the point? I have two that are nerveless and they're still quite sensitive. Whats the point? The two teeth that are nerveless are root canal teeth and were done like 10 years ago. I was supposed to have them capped but for some reason my mother never took me back to get that part done. So, of course, after a few years they broke! And the teeth on either side have cavities now from there being spaces between them that shouldn't have been there. One of those *live* teeth is broken in half, though it doesn't hurt unless I bite on it, but another has a tiny cavity between the teeth and its aching me like a binch. I would soo like to go to the dentist and get them all fixed up, but its nearly impossible to find anyone who takes Medicaid. How does the government expect people to be healthy when they don't make doctors and dentists accept their programs? It should be mandatory so we can choose ones we like and trust. Not be forced to go see scary, backwoods dentists who don't know what they're doing.

But other than those things, we are good. Mad is growing much much too fast. She is giggling and cooing and squealing all the time now. Its so cute I could cry! And shes a pro at holding her head up, still a little wobbly, but she can hold it up for as long as I hold her upright. Her belly time is improving, too. Her head is up but shes still got some work to do on the push ups. She can easily support all her weight on her legs now and she loooves it! Shed stand up all day if I could hold her that way! We have nearly perfected the laying down and nursing technique. Which I find very helpful, she can nurse and I can sleep! This last night she wanted to sleep that way, too. Every time I tried to lay her in her little bed beside me she would scream. So Id pick her up again and snuggle her into my side and *bop* shed pass right out. It was adorable but I was dying to lay on my side for a bit. Oh well Right now I have her stuffed in my robe, sort of sling like. Its a lot easier to type with her like this than how I normally hold her at the pc. Which is why I decided to journal today.

Here are some new pics of dear sweet amazing Mad -

Little Giggling Lady -
Oh Mama, Yoo sooo funny!
She was quite puffy on her first day.

Oh so sleepy!

Swedish Fish!

Very happy Daddy

Shes awake!!

Does she look cozy or what?

==============================
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While getting ready to go outside, I hauled out my boots and tried to put them on. My belly is huuuge now (50 inches around and, uh, I'm only 64 inches tall *weeps*) so its pretty hard to reach my feet. I struggled for a minute or two to get the boot in position so I could get my foot in it. But, alas, it was in vain! My foot was too swollen to fit! (You see, my feet, hands and face have started swelling. Its just the most beautiful stuff you ever saw.) So I thought about what I was going to wear on my big feet. The snow was deep so sneaks were out. I spotted Shane's rubber boots and thought, maybe theyll fit! I struggled with them fer a min and was able to get them on, though the calf was almost too tight. But they were ok in the foot part. Yay!

So out I went. Gads, you should have seen me! In knee high, black rubber boots, my Egyptian man dress (which goes almost to my feet) and my big orange coat. I was very stylish! But I didnt care, I was outside! And the snow was gorgeous. But very hard to walk in. Especially since my hip/belly pain make it terrifically hard to lift my feet up more than a couple inches. The sheep were calling to me and once Loki got wind of someone coming out she started to holler, too. So I pushed on thru the snow. It was fun Even the chickens seemed sort of happy to see me. Or at least see someone. I threw Loki and the sheep some hay, took some pics and came back inside.

I sat in a kitchen chair and looked at my feet. I wondered how in the heck I was going got get these rubber things off. There was no way I could lift my foot up and pull them off with my hands. I thought about going upstairs and waking Shane to help me, but I really didnt want to bother him. I tried using the toe of one foot on the heel of the other to try and get one off, but since they were a little small around the calf they suctioned to my leg. Ack! How the hell was I going to get them off?? The suctioning made them stick more so I would need to push harder with my toe which made my belly hurt. But I didnt see any other way but to just grit my teeth and shove. So I did that. Owowowowow! Stupid boots! I shall not be wearing them again...

I felt great despite the boot struggle. It was really nice to be outside. I havent been going out really at all, unless I have to, since it hurts so much to move. But the *felt great* didnt last long. I soon started to get sore, but not terribly so. It didnt get bad until the next day. Oh my dear, I could barely move! My hips were giant balls of pain. I could barely lift my legs to get out of bed, never mind walk. And my belly/groin muscles were screaming at me. It was like I had run in an Iron Man competitio...

Its Happened Again

~sej — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 06:04:55 PST

This time my bunny is gone.

If things werent bad enough with the loss of my beloved Mike, I had to lose another love. My bunny, Burr passed away on the 19th. I woke up in the night, as is normal because if my hip pain, and as I was trying to get confortable I heard this *EEE*! squeak sort of sound, twice. I sat up and thought 'what the heck was that'? One of my cats ran up and stared in to Burrs cage telling me it was him. Burr has only ever made noise once before so I didnt recognise his voice. I got up to see what was wrong and as I got to his cage and looked in, he stretched out, facing away from me and cried two more times and died. I didnt even get a chance to reach in to comfort him or anything. I took him out and snuggled him and wept.

My little bunny...he was the sweetest rabbit Ive ever met. Heck, he was the sweetest rabbit Ive ever even heard about. I miss him. He was a little black ball of sunshine. Loving to everyone and cuddly and cute. He even knew to come when I called him. I don't have many ideas as to what killed him. I bought him from a feed store and know nothing about his past or how old he was or anything. Over the last 10 months or so he got very thin. Still eating well and acting normal, but very very thin. In the last 2 months hed started having a hard time jumping up on the bed. Other than those things, he acted like his old normal self. So who knows what it was.

Now hes in his cage in the shed waiting for spring to thaw the ground. Winter is a bad time to lose loved ones. But is there ever a good time?

As for other news, things are pretty much the same. I am quite depressed and still in allot of pain from my hips. Only now Ive got *other* things going on that hurt even more. So I'm just doing great. Ive got just 25 days till Mad's due date, so maybe my pain will lessen soon. But if my *other* thing isn't cleared up by the time shes ready to come, I will have to have a c-section so there goes my less pain hopes for a while....

==============================
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============================
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...

Its Happened.

~sej — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 04:06:48 PST

Its over.

My best friend, soul mate and love of my life, Mike, has died.

On November 29th at about 9:50pm he finally left me. Just a few hours earlier he was fine. I was taking a nap and heard him *whoop* (his way of yelping) and got up to see if he was stuck somewhere. He was always getting stuck in furniture and things. His hips bothered him and he couldn't always control what direction he was going in. But he wasn't stuck, he was just standing beside the bed. It looked like he might be having some belly pains, which again wasn't totally abnormal. Hes had some terrible intestinal problems in the past so I wasn't too worried.

I helped him walk around, sometimes pacing make shim feel better, so I helped and made sure he didn't fall or get stuck. I tried snuggling him on the bed, but he was very antsy and couldn't get comfortable. He started whooping more and I was getting upset.

Something was very wrong. But it was about 7 pm and the only emergency vet is over an hour away from here and I KNOW they wouldn't have done anything for him but try to kill him. He is almost 15 years old and extremely thin and has a big tumor under his eye. I brought him to a vet not too long ago because he wasn't himself and murdering him was her only solution. So Shane and I just sat with him.

The first thing that came in to my head as to what might be wrong was bloat. I had Shane look up info on it. It had been ages since I read about it and couldn't remember alot. And of course, Mike had nearly every symptom.

Over the next 3 hours it got worse and worse. His belly swelled up and he started to choke on foam and spittle. He cried and cried and all I could do was hold him up and pet him and talk to him.

It seemed like it took a long time for him to pass away, but it also seemed too quick. Just a few hours and my heart was gone.

Ive lost alot of "pets" in my life, some human family members and human friends. It hurt, but nothing like this. This is more pain than I could possibly express to anyone. Hes been my life for almost 15 years, my child, my brother, my protector, my heart and soul. Life isn't life with out him.

For years Ive been thinking about this, about him dying. It had to happen and each day that went by brought it closer. This may sound completely crazy to some of you, but I had planned to go with him. The loss, I knew, was going to be too much and everyone who was left would be fine with out me. I would not be fine staying. But now I am pregnant and feel I cant do that. It hurts so much I don't think I can do it. Maybe thats why Mad showed up. Why we got pregnant so easily. To keep me here. But I don't want to be here.

How can anyone be expected to keep living while in pain like this? What the fuck is going on. This is too much.

Today is even harder because I'm calling to arrange his cremation. I don't know how I'm going to talk to them about it. I tried talking to Shane about it last night and I couldn't speak. The words refused to come out. The thought of him on fire, of him melting, of his eyes popping from the intense heat, his ears burning... is incredibly horrible and painful for me. But the thought of him slowly rotting in the ground is no better. At least this way he can sort of stay with me. And later, when I die, we can be put together.

Maybe I sound obsessed to you all, but I don't care. I need to write and unless you've ever loved someone with every cell in your body, was in love with every cell of them, every minute part of their personality and manners, everything, you have no idea how I feel. Mike is like air to me. Like food or drink. You don't need those things because you're obsessed with them, you just need them because they are vital to life. Being with out him isn't killing my body, its killing other parts of me. This is too hard. I cant do this.

==============================
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Some New Baby Stuffs

~sej — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 08:42:31 PDT

And a bit o fiber

Again, its been ages since I posted. I dont know whats up with me, but its been really hard to make myself sit and write. Once I get going, I enjoy it, but dang, its so hard to sit here and DO it!

We're having a girl!! A wee girl... and her name is Madelyn. I adore my Granny (maternal) and her name is Madelyn and Shane and I love the name and love the nickname Mad, sooo, its perfect! Little Mad is growing like mad. Shes about 1 1/2 pounds now and 14 inches long! I feel like shes twice that big. My belly is enormous. Or at least it seems like it to me! Shes squashing everything. Its hard to breathe sometimes, depending on how Im sitting/laying and I cant eat much at a time. But its nothing bad. The awful part of it all is the hip pain that Im having. I swear, its some of the worst pain Ive ever felt in my life. It makes most movements incredibly painful. Even putting socks on is an ordeal. But its all good! Makes me stronger, gives me character. I know now that when Im old (or young!), if I have bad, chronic pain, I can take it. I can still do what I need to do, even if it hurst so much I cry.

Yesterday Shane and I went out and took some pictures. We both wish we could see what our mothers looked like while they were pregnant with us so we want to make sure Mad has plenty to pictures to see later. Heres a couple of my favorites -

Ive been doing a bit of spinning and knitting/crocheting. I bought some loverly sage green roving from Copperpot Woolies, spun it in to a worsted weight ad am knitting it in to some mittens for my mother. They were supposed to be done for her bday last month, but I got sick and was only able to get one done. So Im finishing up the second now (just got a thumb to do!). She seems to like them, at least she loves the color. Ill post a pic when Im all done.

As for spinning, Ive spun alot! Heres a pic of just some of the yarn Ive made -

Theres more than just these, but I got tired of taking pics of them all. On my wheel I have some misc roving ends from The Sheep Shed. Its a beautiful mix of caramel, dark chocolate and white. I think there is some mohair in it, but Im not sure. Its very pretty!

==============================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

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My very best art is HERE - [link]
============================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

Baby!!

==============================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

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============================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!
Bimbou was doing terrible and my stepfather got sick of him stinking up the hall and shot him. Then my poor old Weem cat, who hadnt been feeling well for a while, passed away. One of my hens, Thing One, died. She had a mating wound on her side, I think that might be why she died). And just a few days ago my cat, Ink, died suddenly. I have no idea why.

so on the animal front, its been a bad few weeks. But on the baby one, its pretty good. We discovered yesterday that were having a girl! Were naming her Madelyn. We haven't picked a middle name yet. We got some pictures from the ultrasound, but the idiot lady who did it wouldn't let us take any movies. I hate this woman, she presses way too hard on your belly and treats you like your in imbecile. At one point she was measuring a bone and I asked what it was. *a bone* she said. Duh! Of course it is! But what one?? Gah! Its like she thinks your too stupid to understand the complex images of a baby. Her job is so beyond everyone us common people that she cant be bothered to try to explain anything to our tiny brains. I know what hand bones look like and what an ear is. But it would have been nice to know what she was measuring, specifically, and why! And how she could tell it was a girl.

Anyway, other than my incredibly painful hip pains, everything is good. Were going again tomorrow to see a dr for a checkup. Woopie. I cant wait.

I also had my 30th birthday on August 27th. It wasnt vey exciting, but my bf got me a wonderful present. He bought me a drum carder!! WEEEE!!! I used it immediately and I lubs eet!! I carded over a pound of some loverly Shetland wool I bought recently. Im spinning it now in to a worsted yarn. Then Im going ot knit it in to a bear for Madelyn. I found this knitted bear pattern on Etsy [link] its the cutest thing! Ive also ordered some pretty wool to card and spin. My drum carder is sooo cool

==============================
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My very best art is HERE - [link]
============================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

When I left the office to get the addy for them, my Ma spotted me from the waiting room and she made a face at me, like 'well??' I gave her the thumbs up and she just about flew out of her chair and danced over to me. I swear, she was more excited than I was!

But then I started spotting. Not bleeding really, just spotting a little. I made a sort of emergency visit at the place in Saratoga asap. Shane and I went and I got an ultrasound and we got to see our little bean! It was the nicest thing, ever. Especially since Shane was with me. I cant even explain how good it is to know that hes there for me. For us. Anyway, the bean is ok, but part of the placenta has come away from the uterine wall and a blood clot has formed. But all looked well.

I went again for my normal visit and pap and all that. The midwife used this microphone machine thing on my belly to try and find the heart beat. She said that usually you cant hear them so early (8 weeks) but she wanted to try anyway. "Dont be alarmed if we cant hear anything!' But after some searching, there it was! Lub-a-dub-lub-a-dub!! Fast and strong as you could ever want. But she said not sex, no lifting things, nothing that will strain my pelvic muscles. Whoopee!

Then on Saturday (july 7), Shane and I got in to a huuuge fight with Bruce (my step father). Hes a jackass and I hate him. Im off my Cymbalta so Im much more outspoken these days. And Im going to be a Mom and that has changed me. Alot. So I said what I thought and gave him what for like Ive only done once before. That time he hit me and threw me out. This time he got all huffy and told Shane and I to get out. Ha!! I told him to call the cops and get them to make us leave. If you knew him, youd know that he wouldnt call the cops if the house was on fire. Mom was out with Pip so she wasnt here to buffer. I got really upset, shaking and nearly hysterical. I effing hate him (I want to love him, and him me. I could use a father, but he makes that nearly impossible). I started to cramp and feel sick so I layed in bed with Shane for a while, trying to relax. A few hours later I used the bathroom and saw there was fresh blood. Not the old blood Id been spotting. And the drs said if that happened, GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

So thats what we did. After ages and years and a lifetime waiting, I got an IV *cries* and an ultrasound. I was dehydrated and I may have a UTI, but the ultrasound didnt show anything too bad. Im still bleeding from that clot, but the baby is great. So far. He/she was flipping around and moving like crazy. It was creepy! Then on the way home a belt snapped in the car. The two houses we were stuck by were full of folks who sleep like the dead. It was 2am and we have no cell so Shane hiked up the road to see if he could find a phone or someone who was awake. He eventually found a house with lots of dogs and they barked and woke up the house. They were nice and let him use the phone. He called our neighbors and they came right out and got us. We couldnt call home because Bruce does have any of his cars legal and even if he did, he couldnt hear the phone ringing if it was sitting on his head. Thank goodness we have one set of neighbors who are there if we get in a bind!!

Now Im on even more *pelvis rest*, which is pretty much the same thing as bed rest because doing pretty much anything uses your pelvic muscles. So no more wrangling the sheep, no more trimming Loki's feet, no more gardening, no nothing. I cant even go for walks. Im soooo bored and frustrated. And all this sitting around has helped aggravate my sciatic nerve so I hurt almost constantly. And I get these awful stabbing pains in my butt/thigh when I move. Feels almost like the muscle is tearing. It hurts!

But Im getting loads of knitting/crocheting done. Ive finally started a pair of I also finally finished a pair of socks that I started over a year ago. theyve been sitting mostly done in a bag waiting for me to get int he sock mood. They came out pretty nice, though theyre knit with Magic Stripe which I find rather itchy. They fit well and are warm In my last post I mentioned this chocolate roving I bought from Blackcat Handspun. I sooo wish I had more. Look at how loverly it is!I also bought some raspberryish roving from her. Its an incredible mix of Coopworth and Chow Chow. While spinning it it reminded me of raspberry icecream and a place in Maine where we used to go when I was a child. So, I named this yarn Shaw's Ridge Raspberry.Another purchace I made was this beautiful silk roving from Copperpot on Etsy. Shes soo nice! And this roving spun up to the most beautiful yarn. I knit the ounce in to little wristlettes. I was going to knit a headband but decided that the colors were so pretty that I wanted them to be somewhere I could see!The last stuff Ive spun up is this two ounces of tussah silk. My cousin, Mariah, wants a skinny scarf and since shes allergic to wool (or at least finds it all quite it itchy) Im going to make it out of silk. I plan on dying it blue with Berry Blue Kool Aid. Loverly color! Though I must say, I love the natural color, too. Its so soft and buttery.

==============================
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My very best art is HERE - [link]
============================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

this pattern">this pattern on the net for one and thought about making that, but decided to just make up my own. So I rummaged through my yarns to find one I liked. Its hard to use the yarns I like. It was all I could do to not use one of the yarns I don't really care for. But I finally convinced myself that this will be something I will use at least once a month (you ladies know what for) and I want it to be something I like looking at!! So I chose the red sari silk and wool yarn I bought last year. I also decided to crochet it since I'm starting to like crocheting more than I used to. Its coming along nicely!

I also decided to make one out of a piece I knitted a while back. Its some yarn that was like my second ever spun on my wheel. Its very very uneven and lumpy and I love it. Its not much and I was thinking it would make a nice neck warmer. But I never got around to finishing it. I looked at it and realized it would be just the right size for a heat pad if I folded it in half. So I looked for some nice contrasting yarn to sew up the sides. I chose the very first yarn Ive ever spun. It a pretty teal color and I spun it on a drop spindle. The one and only time Ive spun on one, lol. I crocheted all around the edges of the knitted piece and then sewed up the sides. I had first put split peas in it. It worked well for heat but spelled icky. So I got some rice and filled up some pantyhose feet and popped em inside and sewed up the end. Its soft and pretty and works great!

These past few weeks have been terribly cold. I think I got a bit of frostbite on my face! My nose is all peeling like I have a sunburn. I wrap a scarf around my face while I'm out, but it slips and gets wet and everything so I got to thinking...I need a ski mask! So I searched all over the net and couldn't find anything I liked. BUT I did find these horribly freaky ones They are absolutely nightmarish to look at but the basic pattern is great. I searched more on the net for the actual patterns for them, but couldn't find em anywhere. Sooo I went on eBay and found the magazine they're in, bought em and am now waiting patiently for them to arrive. I don't think I will be knitting in the creepiness that the patterns call for, but who knows.. Maybe Ill knit something even worse!! HEEEHEE!!!

Last week on Carson Daley there was this guitar player, Andy McKee. I don't normally watch Carson (hes a moron and completely bugs the crap outa me. hes also a terrible interviewer, imho) but Carson said he found this guy on youtube (gotta love youtube!) so I decided to stick around. OMG I'm SOOOO glad I did! This guy is incredible. He played this song called Drifting (which you can see

). Its become my new favoritestest bestest mostest greatest song ever!!! The song is so beautiful. Even my BF said that it was hard to believe that it was all done with a guitar, its too sweet sounding to be a guitar. We agreed that it sounds like something from a video game. Maybe a small country town or an area just outside of town (those of you who play any of the FF games or the like types will know what I mean!). I liked it so much I even bought his cd. I cant wait to get it.

We got a nice Valentines Day snow storm. Though we weren't able to be home the whole day to enjoy it. My cat Seamose has a urinary tract infection. He had to be at the vets at 9:45 am. We left the house at 9 and it took a full 40 minutes to get there! Normally its only like 15. Yeck! It was snowing so hard that while waiting in the nice warm office, looking out at the snow, we couldn't even see the other side of the street! Good news though, Seamose will be ok. I almost lost one of my cats, Levi, like 8 years ago to a blocked urinary tract. He had to have emergency surgery. So I was espe...

cries

~sej — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 07:20:19 PST

Today SUCKS

Yesterday I wasnt feeling well and ended up sleeping all day. I had told my bf to water my birds if I didnt wake up (twice I told him this, but he swears I didnt), he said he would. So I wake up and its dark out. I ask if he watered them. No, he says. GAH! Its dark now so even if I bring out water, they wont drink it. I got pissed! Its SO freaking cold here, their water freezes right away. They went the entire day with no water.

Later that night, I make the mistake of telling my mother about it. So she took it upon herself to scream (yes, scream) in at me at like 6am to tell me to go out and water my birds. Gah!! Then about an hour later, Shane comes smashing in and yells at me to get up. Bruce is bitching about me not watering the birds now. WTF? I have enough shit going on with out them joining in. They dont even like my chickens, they would eat them if I let them. Assholes.

So I get up (which I was going to do soon anyway) and bundle up and trudge out there. OMG, its SO freaking cold! Im entirely over winter. Can I have Spring now, please? My poor horse is shivering uncontrolably and I cant do a damned thing about it. See, shes in a shed with just two solid walls. I want to build two more walls, solid, with doors and windows. But nooooo. My fucking stupid stepfather wont let me! Hell scream and yell for me to water animals he doesnt even like, because he thinks Im abusing them or something. But he couldnt care less that my horse is out there freezing her ass off. I also would like to build a real floor in her stall. But he wont let me do that either. So she stands in ankle deep mud/manure/urine 24/7. Cept for winter, then she has to stand on all that shit frozen.

And now my bf is nagging me to buy more ram for my computer. Which I would love to do, actually. But Im poor. Its hard for me to pay for everything. He also wants me to get a dish so we can have a faster connection. But its $110 a month! I only get a little over $400 a month.... He thinks I waste my money because I buy things like wool for myself. After I buy all the animal stuffs, Ive very little left. I spend it on myself. What a bitch I am!!

OMG, Im freaking out..............

==============================
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============================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

Long Time No Knit

~sej — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 12:45:50 PST

FIBER!! FIBER!! YUM!! YUM!!

Well! I got a very nice surprize in the mail today. (Two actually, but one was a pound of roving that I knew was coming, so that wasnt completely a surprize.) You see, a while back I signed on to be part of a yarn swap Basically, person A spins a (3.5 oz) skein of yarn for person B, person B spins one for person C, etc. We get to see who were making the yarn for, but have no idea whos making one for us. Im very much a pessemist sometimes and thought that surely I would be paired up with the one person who wouldnt spin a skein of yarn. But (*YIPPIE*) I got a person who not only spun a skein, its the most wonderful, funky, and fabulous skein of yarn Ive ever held in my hands!!! I ADORE IT!!! Looky---->

*dances* I lurve it!! Though I have no idea when Ill be able to convince myself that I can knit with it and not totally ruin it. Im just going to stare at it for a while.

Last year I bought myself some alpaca fiber to spin. Ive finally finished it! The first skein came out nice (it spun up wicked easy), but this second one, I even impressed myself a little, heehee! Its the most even Ive ever spun. Also pretty thin for me. Its a two ply worsted (alsmot a sport weight). Its soft and a really wonderful warm brown color.

I ve also been working on the fingerless mittens for Shane. Theyre coming along nicely. I tried to take some pics tonight, but they came out terrible. Its night and I had to use the flash. Ill try again in the daylight. All I have left to do are the flaps!

Over a year ago I bought the book Stitch'n'Bitch. Theres a gorgeous pair of fingerless mittens in there. It calls for two balls of Noro something or other. So we headed out to the LYS and I bought the colors I liked. Well, I get home and am knitting away and soon realize that one ball is a continuous piece of yarn but the other is three tied together. The colors dont match up and I end up with one perfectly colored mitten, green to purple to yellow to orange. The other one I didnt even bother knitting because the colors woudlnt match up, it would drive me crazy! I threw the lot in a drawer and tried to forget about them. But while knitting Shanes mittens, I was almost obsessively thinking of my failed Noro mittens. So I got the one out and re-examined the yarn to see if I could piece it together to at least sort of match the finished one. No go! No amount of splicing would make it come close to being a mate. Ive decided that I must go bat to the LYS and scour their Noro yarn for one ball that will pair up with my finished thing.

I...must...finish...them...

==============================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
============================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

[link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
============================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

I Have Sheep!!!

~sej — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 18:40:04 PST

We did it!!

It took alot of time, but theyre finally home!! Over the weekend my mother finally told my step father that I was getting sheep. She told him something like *I want her to have them* and when Mom decides something, thats that. So.... I have my sheep! Im SO happy!!

I was supposed to rent a cargo van on Monday and Shane and I would drive down to pick them up. But when we got there we soon realised that I had my expired license and not my valid one. They woulnt rent to me with out it! Bah!! So back home we come and on the ride hom, Im racking my brain trying to remember where I put the thing. I cant recall even getting it in the mail and finally decide that I never did.

I call the rental place and ask if I can rent with a temporary license. Yes! I can! So I reserve the van for the next day. I call up Cheryl, the great woman I bought the sheep from and see if the next day is ok to come. Of course she says. Yay!!

So we get some sleep and wake up early. We need to be at the rental place at 8am so we leave at quarter past 7. But its snowing! My Mom is terrified of driving in the snow so we crawl. Shes panicing at every corner and though Shane and I are capable drivers, she insists on doing the driving. It took us a good 10 minutes to go maybe 5 miles.

Then, about 30 minutes in to our drive (that should have barely taken that long, total) we hit a traffic jam. Way way up ahead theres an accident. We drove about 2/3s of the drive at 15 mph. It was awful! We didnt get to the place until 8:30! But, fortunately, they were ok with that and we got our van!

Your not supposed to move animals in these vans, Im assuming, so we drove down the road to load up the hay and things. It took us 6 hours to get to the Rise'n'Shine farm. Not a bad drive, but boring!

The farm is beautiful!! You can see it here - [link] She has lots of sheep along with llamas, chickens, turkeys, dogs and cats. Its paradise! heehee

We were only able to spend about an hour there, though I could have spent all day there and it wouldnt have been enough. Cheryl and her daughter, Daisey, are wonderful.

Shane and I set out and tried a different way home. It took AGES. We left the farm at about 4:30 and got hom at 12:30 am! Uhg! It was stressful for all four of us, but we made it.

Im getting tired now, as a matter of fact. Ill finish my story later. Ill post some photos of my new boys, Lymric and Nasvitch soon too!

==============================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

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My very best art is HERE - [link]
============================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!
The-Real-Country and won!! My entry is featured and my interview will be in the journal. Im so excited! First time I ever won anything here, heehee!!!

Heres my entry!

==============================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
============================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

The-Real-Country and won!! My entry is featured and my interview will be in the journal. Im so excited! First time I ever won anything here, heehee!!!

Heres my entry!

==============================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
============================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

I entered a contest at ~The-Real-Country and won!! My entry is featured and my interview will be in the journal. Im so excited! First time I ever won anything here, heehee!!!

Heres my entry!

===================================================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
===================================================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

MY WHEEL IS HERE!!!

~sej — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 14:00:37 PDT

All the way from the Netherlands!!

OMG!! Ive been waiting months for this to make its way here. I could have had it delivered much faster but it would have cost me like 75 bucks! So I waited....

And its here!!! It was tough for me to put together. The parts fit together real well and Im not very strong. My bf found me struggling and sat down with me to help. We finally got the thing together and its so pretty!

Shane sat there, all expectant, waiting for me to try it. Well, dang, Ive never used one! He seemed to thinkt hat you shove wool in the hole and yarn comes out! LOL! The woman I bought it from sent along some white roving from a texelaar sheep. Gorgeous stuff!

Well, after a few failed tries, I sent my BF on his way. I struggled and got mad. I looked on the internet for videos to help but couldnt find any. My hen. Camilla seemed to find my annoyance rather interesting and watched every moment. Even Magnus had to tip toe in to see what all the fuss was about!

Somehow, finally, I was able to get the bobbin thingy spinning. I MADE YARN!! Well, technically its yarn, but not GOOD yarn. Its very over spun and its very thick in some places, very thin in others. But gads, is SOOOO much fun!!

The wheel makes this lovely noise. I could pump the pedal with out spinning just to hear the sound. It runs smoothly and perfectly. Its a Louet design but made by someone else. Much much cheaper! But boy, it runs so smooth, even a noob like me can tell its nice.

Im so happy!!!!!!!

===================================================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

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My very best art is HERE - [link]
===================================================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

Jacob sheep . Hes from a farm called Rise'N'Shine Farm in PA. Hes on this page ->[link] <- Scroll down a little. Hes SO beautiful! If you click on his photo, you can see his pedigree and pictures of his parents.

I get to pick him up an a couple weeks! Im so excited!! Though Im rather dreading what my step father will say. He still doesnt know!

===================================================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

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My very best art is HERE - [link]
===================================================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

Im a little proud of myself for sticking up for myself. No one else here will. Theyre birds. Not some disease. And I didnt even yell at him. I did my best to stay calm and not scream or cry.

I just came in from visiting Magnus. He seems normal now. Nervous, but nice old lovey Magnus. Fuck I took him out of the little coop and put him in the pen I built. theres plants and dirt and a little house for him there. I need to put the sides on the house, but I think hell be ok for the day in there. He didnt try to bite me once. Even loose in the pen. He just stood there looking at me. He tried to follow me out the gate and he watched me leave. I feel like such a jerk. I miss him and hes confused and doesnt understand.

I wish I had my own home.....

===================================================
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My very best art...

Its my Birthday Today

~sej — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 17:39:46 PDT

Its cold and Im old.........

Mood: Gloomy
Listening to: Puppy chewing the floor
Reading: none
Watching: Perry Mason shows

Im 29 today. My Granny and cousin were supposed to be calling me tonight but Im in a horrible mood so Ive turned off the callwave thingy and Im just hiding from everyone.

We all went to the Washington County Fair yesterday. It was ok. Depressing as usuall. That whole thing about feeling lonely in a crowd. All these people who know eachother. All these beautiful young people. All these animals I cant have. Its all depressing.

Then to make it even worse, while climbing down the bleachers at the truck pull area, I fell. It was on the last step. My ankle went all rubber and I went down hard. Half in some guys lap and in front of like 1000 people. And course I was wearing red and had pigtails so its not like I wasnt highly visible. Woo hoo!

So now Im all sore with a sprained ankle and I think I pulled my shin muscle on the other leg. Im walking like Frankensteins monster and it hurts.

Im such a loser

===================================================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

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My very best art is HERE - [link]
===================================================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!
...

Im COLD!!

~sej — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 02:42:02 PDT

WEEE!!! Been ages since I was cold! Its 56 degrees!! Fall is coming!!

Mood: BRR!!
Listening to: Clanking of the cow stanchions
Reading: Neanderthal
Watching: The Hills Have Eyes

Well, things are going a bit smoother here. My mare, Loki, is doing well. Even had her out for a quick walk the other day. She did so well, we made it to the end of the drive way and even out in to the road! She was soooo good. I even tied her to the tractor out front so I could get a photo of her. I left her standing there, she tried to follow me while I ran back to the barn to get the camera, but I told her to stay and she did. When I was running back to her I called her name and she winnied to me "You left me!! Oh I missed you!!" Her feet look a bit bruised on the soles but shes not nearly as sore as she was. If I can get someone to pay for it, I will have the vet out to see her again this week.

Ive also discovered crocheting. Amigurumi to be specific. Ive made an octopus, a snow man and two mice! theres like a million more things I want to make but Ive got bad crochet finger! OW! Just like when I began knitting. I get all in to it and hurt myself. Ah well, toys are fun!

My paxil withdrawl is finally over and Ive started my new meds. Im on cymbalta now and so far so good! The first few days I felt really wired. It was a nice change from my usual mopey-no energy self. But now Im starting to mope again. Phooey...

ITs finally getting cooler out. This summer has been too hot out for me to be happy outside (or inside!). I hate sweating. It feels awful and I smell. My pits reeked so bad today that while I was in fiddling with my knitting machine in front of the AC, Shane complained because the fan was blowing my aroma at him, lol! Guess it was bout time to take a shower. Wasnt long enough though. Showers never are!

I still havent cleaned in here. Its been weeks. The place is horrible. But I still just dont care. Im tired and its no fun cleaning. Besides, as soon as its all clean, the animals mess it up again and you cant even tell I did anything!

Our second nest of bird by the back door have flown away. Im still amazed by how fast they grow! We also have 2 litters of kittens on the porch. The older set is way on the left and I have to climb over alot of stored furniture to get to them so Im not handling them much. But the younger ones are right by the door in a box and I can snuggle them any time I want. I love babies, I wish I could bring them all inside!

The highlight of my week was getting my movie in the mail. Netflix now offers pre-viewed movies for sale, cheap. SO I bought one. Ive needed a new knitting movie and I wanted a happy one. I like to knit while I watch somehting and Ive watched all our stuff so many times Im sickof them all. So..I bought Life Aquatic!! I SO LOVE THIS MOVIE! I cant even tell you hoe much I love it. THe look, the plot, the cast, the music, eveything. The only part I dont like is when they leave Cody on the pirate island. Makes me sad. Id have gone back for him. Actually, I wouldnt have brought him on the island at all! Keep the poor 3 legged dog on the boat where hes safe. Dummies...

Speaking of movies, we just watched The Hills Have Eyes. Wow.... it was one of the worst movies Ive ever seen! Well, there were some good parts, but they all have good parts. It wasnt scary at all, but I did laugh real hard sometimes, though Im not sure the makers meant for those parts to be funny! Ah well. I really should write a horror story. I get so mad with the ones I see. The women are always stupid and no one ever makes sure the bad dude is dead. And someone is always killing animals. And though I like the gore, some movies just go overboard. A little gore is better than too much. Id rather hear the gun and see some splatter than have to see the fellow actually blow his head up with a shot gun, you know? I like M. Night Shyamalans take on scary. Its better to have the audience just catch glimpses of the monster and have you imagine what it might be, what could be making that sound or lurking in the bushes. Most horror flicks show you what it is and tell you 'this is the scary thing'. And its ALWAYS something stupid like in the Hills Have Eyes, they were shitty looking 'mutant' people. That wasnt scary, that was fake and awful. Heck, the first one you see looks just like Sloth from the Goonies!!! Phooey! I love Sloth, but hes just not scary.

===================================================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things -
During his first visit he sedated her so he could trim her worst foot. The one that had the abscess. She struggled and was a brat. I never saw anyone sweat so much or get so red! Poor vet worked really hard. He was here for a couple hours just working on that one foot. Till almost 9pm. I even got a lesson in how to give injections. ACK!! Ive never ever given a shot before, but Ive given a few now, lol. Loki was awesome about getting them. I didnt even have to tie her up, she just stood there for me. EVery 6 hours I had to go out and give her a shot of this yellow dialating stuff. I forget what it was called. I shook every time. The vet said that if I got it in her blood stream it could kill her so I was especially scared I was going to mess up. But I didnt

The vet came back again to trim her other feet. It was a terrible time for all of us, though for Loki and the vet the most. He was tired he said because hed been up for like 23 hours with 2 horses in the clinic. THen the first thing he does when he picks up Lokis hoof up to start trimming, is cut his thumb. I didnt get a look at it, but it was bad. He ran to his truck and put some tape on it and came back and kept working! He said it was down to the bone and I dont doubt it. It bled like a fucker. Loki still has bloody thumb prints on ehr side and bloody pasterns! He even splatted blood on my pants! lol Never had anyone bleed on me before. I should have asked him if he was going to charge me extra for the paint job

So the vet was tired and injured and well, he got mad at us and Loki. Even yelled at us for not holding her head right. I know he was trying hard and Loki is a jerk with her feet, but dang. He went to his truck to get more TQ and I cried. Bleh! He tried to do her back feet but shed only let him do one. Shes funny about her right hind leg. Im working with her but its going to take ages to get her ok with it. I dont know why shes bad with that one. Been a year or so since she started that. Oh, it was also friggin hot and raining really hard so theres that to make us all unhappy, too.

When the trimming was done, I tied Loki up so she coudlnt eat anythign till she was awake more, and followed the vet back to his truck. I offered tos tand outside, I had a coat on and didnt mind the rain, but he said "Get in and Ill turn the AC on". So I did and he worked up how much to charge, checked his messages and filled up more syringes for Loki. He oppologized for getting so cranky and repeatedly told me how good I was doing with Loki and that I did a good job helping. I guess alot of people dont help when vets show up. I cant even imagine doing that. Its your pet!! Anyway, I thanked him and he thanked me and I said "take care of that thumb!", "Yea, Im gettin a tetanus shot! lol"

SO the two visits from him is cositng me $362 bucks. Ouch... Well, my grandfather is paying it and I pay him back. Itll take me a few months, but ung! I wish I had lots of money. How does the government expect anyone to live on $425 a month?? If I had more money, I would gladly pay anything to help my horse. Anything. He worked hard to get her feet looking good (though there was alot of yelling and jabbing with carious tools to get her to stand up) and her feet look awesome now. All but one anyway. He earned what ever part of that 362 is his, but thats almost as much as I get in one month!!

And now Im obsessing about Loki. A mare my step father bought about 10 years ago foundered and eventually got so bad, she broke her leg and Bruce shot her. I loved that lady. I wish I had lived here then and done more. I didnt know anythign then. But I do now and Loki isnt going to die. Im not giving up on her. If she needs me to be out there 24/7 I will be. I wish it was my feet instead. If she needs every cent I...

My horse just cant win!!

~sej — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 07:59:22 PDT

Mood: Bleh
Listening to: Whirring Fan
Reading: The Divinci Code
Watching: Lost in Translation

My poor porr Loki is slowly recovering from an abcsess in her hoof. Shes been lame for 3 weeks now. A vet came out last week to have a look at her, put her on antibiotics, bute paste and said she may have cellulitis. She left instructions to wet her leg down with rubbing alchohol and wrap with plastic wrap and a polo wrap to help with the swelling in her leg. So I do that and her other leg swells, so I alcohol that one and wrap it too. Turns out she has an abcsess in her hoof. It broke open last thursday and I did my best to 'soak' it in warm water and epsom salts.

Its looking very good, but she still wicked lame. It seems like her back feet are sore. I dont know though. Seems like she hurts all over, actually. But her appetite is great and shes walkin on her own, finally.

This morning Im awoken by my bf, Shane, telling me Loki has wedged herself under a gate and cant get up. I sleepily get out of bed and get dressed (though I tried to put on my pajamas and sandls before I realised what I was doing!). Outback I go and there she is, wrong way on an inclune, up against the end of her stall wall, unable to get up! She hears me and whinnies to me. I jog over and pet her head, give her the once over. OK, I think, shes not broken, shes just wedged in a way, feet up an inclune, that she cant get back up!

So I grab some cookies (apple treats from the feed store) and see if she wants some. If she refuses treats, I know shes not well. She gobbles them up hungrily. Yay! So now, we have to get her up. I think for a moment and remember in my books about how to rescue a horse if theyve rolled in their stall and get too close to a wall and need help. They said to use ropes on their legs, up past the knees and hocks (soft rope, mind you!) and just sort of roll them over from one side to the other. So I get some rope and I ask Shane to help me. He says, why not just use out hands? I say she might kick us or something. But we try. Im way too much of a weakling to even budge her an inch, so Shane gets my stepfather, Bruce. They grab her legs and I steady her head and over she goes!

She gets up immediately! WEE!! Shes so shakey though and sore looking. But not so sore and shakey that she cant stump her way to the grass and eat, lol! Shes rubbed a bit of skin off of her hip/thigh area and has a nastly scrape on her face and chin. And shes balled up dirt in her mane. I told her she looked pretty with her jingly decorations in her hair, heehee.

Shane got her some water and boy, she was so thirsty! And hungry. She heard feed being put in her bin and stumped over to it. She ate some and then noticed that Shane was eating oatmeal. She LOOOOOOOVES oatmeal. And she knows that Shane will eventually give her some (he leaves some in his bowl just for her all the time). She perks her ears at him and licks her lips. I can see her thinkin... 'mmmmm'. lol! She even leaves her grain to go and stand near him, smackin her lips and begging! What a bum!! Eventually its cool enough for her and Shane feeds it to the 'starving' lady.

Shane gets her another bucket of water and I decide to make her area a bit bigger. Shes well enough to walk now so she could use some walking room! THough I dont feel safe yet, letting her have the whole pasture. I can easily imagine her falling down somewhere, breaking a leg in a hole or something. The pasture gets very muddy in spring and parts end up with 'hoof holes', if you know what I mean. I nearly twisted my ankle gather posts! The yard around her stall is rather smooth, not level, but smooth, no holes. When she can walk normally, Ill open it all up again.

At some point Shane slips off and I didnt notice till I needed him. Dang him! The orange gates we have are big and heavy and I hate moving htem. I can do it, but not with out complaining and grunting and heaving!. But I got them moved and set up in a zig-zag pattern on one side and then I strung up wire on the other side. So now Loki has a nice little yard to graze in. Though, when I left her she was in her stall, hiding from the bugs, munching hay.

The new hay, btw, is really nice! I was very happy to see it. Bruce bought it for me (wow!!) and its green and leafy and Loki is in love with it! As is one of our barn cats, Kitten Meowing. Loki usually eats her hay on the ground (though with her soreness, I also have some in a net incase she doesnt want to reach down). While we were out there, Kitten Meowing jump...

Loki is doing better!

~sej — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 23:36:24 PDT

)

Mood: Hopeful
Listening to: Whirring Fan
Reading: The Divinci Code
Watching: Lost in Translation

We finally got a vet here wednesday. The vet we HAD called put us off for another day so we called a different office a little further away.

Wednesday morning Shane went out to feed her and she looked ok, came over to eat. Then a shor time later he came out and she was falt out on her side. He came righ tin to get me. We coudlnt figure out if she fell or layed down. I think that since shed been standing for 3 or more days that she was exhusted and collapsed. The pain in her leg was so bad that she was unable to get down on the ground to sleep deeply. Horses can nap standing, their legs can 'lock' so they dont fall. But to get deep sleep, they need to lay down, just like us. But even the standing naps were too painful fo rher. She couldnt lock her knees because it hurt too much to put an weight on her leg.

So I come out and there she is, on her side, looking very sick. I didnt try to get her to get up because I knew she needed a rest. My mother called the other vet (Battenkill, very helpful people!!) and they said I should get her up. Well, I didnt. One minute she was looking at me, all awake and seconds later, she was asleep, REM and twitching and everything. Ive never seen her sleep before! Poor girl was so tired. I soothed her and let her sleep. I also trimmed her feet a bit since I had easy access. After an hour or so, we got her up. She was very wobbly and not happy to be up. But she seemed ok so I took a break and came inside to cool off. And down she went again! So I let her sleep a bit more and then we tried to get her up. Yea right!! She was impossible for a bit, but with some shoving and pushing and pulling, she got up. Her legs were so tired, she almost fell back down, right on me!

Shane and I stayed out in the barn all day with her to make sure she didnt go down again. Shane brought out the game cube and tv and I read my book. Loki stood as close to me as she could and begged for my coffe, my sandwich and even my soda! Shes a bum! This month I got her a big 25 pound bag of treats and she LOVES them! Ive been keeping them in my pockets so she knows to look for them now, heehee!

In the early afternoon my Ma went to the Battenkill vet office and chatted with the vets there about Loki. They sent her back with a tube of bute paste and some antibiotic/anti inflamatory pills. I set about crushing up the dose of 10 and mixing them with molasses and water. I brought the mix out and used a syringe to shoot it in to her mouth and gave her some paste. EW!! SHe hated it!

Later int he afternoon the vet was able to come over. They werent sure if shed be able to come, but she was! Dr Hill was so nice and good with Loki. She felt her leg and examined her hoof. SHe said she thoguht it might be cellulitis. Thats an infection of the tissue under the skin (we ladies know all about cellulite!). So she said keep her ont he meds, twice a day and wet her leg with rubbing alchohol and wrap it with saran wrap and then a bandage for the night. Remove that in the morning and rewrap at night till the swelling goes down.

Yesterday an abscess broke out of her foot, right on the coronary band. Its was really oogey. So I called the office and eventually got Dr Hill on the phone. She said soak her foot in water and epsom salts a few times a day. Keep up with the wrapping and meds. So I am.

On thrusday morning we go out and poor Loki has two scrapes on her face and her other front leg is swollen, below the knee, AND on her elbow! Seems she fell and struggled or something. Poor lady But the pain her her left leg seemed much better. Im wrapping both legs now.

The infection seems alot better. Not much draining from it now. Her pain is ALOT better. SHe can fight me now when I try to give her the medecine!! She is walking a bit too. But the swelling isnt gone, at all. I shall call the vet again on monday!

Ah, shes a good lady. I loves me Loki.

===================================================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

My very best art is HERE...

My Loki is Lame :o(

~sej — Tue, 04 Jul 2006 14:52:57 PDT

Frik!!

Mood: Severely Pissed Off
Listening to: Whirring Fan
Reading: The Divinci Code
Watching: Memoirs of a Geisha

In her 15 years, this is the very first time Loki, my mare, has ever been lame. Its not horrible, I guess, but shes in pain and I hate it! We noticed her limping on thrusday (its now tuesday) and its not any better. Though the swelling has gone down alot and seemed to move lower on her leg. Shes not walking around at all, though she is shut in her stall with a little yard so she cant really walk anywhere anyway. Shes having a terrible time just putting weight on it and its SO hot and muggy shes sweating like crazy.

Today when I went out she was wet all over and heaving/panting she was so hot. I doused her with epsomsalted water and stole the fan thats in our kitchen. THinking that since no one is ever in there to use it anyway, Id give it to Loki for a while to cool her off. Well, she LOVED it! She even tried to shove me out of the way when I stood in front of it! Though now, barely 30 minutes later, my ma comes to my door and tells me that Bruce (my stepfather) was mad that I took the fan and that she brought it back in. Bitch!! Shes like his fucking peon robot slave. Shell do what ever he wants. Its sickening. No one matters but Him. Fucking losers. Oh yea, we need a fan running in an EMPTY room! Loki is 'a horse, she dont matter'! Yea horses werent made for jungle weather, desert maybe, but not swealtery jungle!! This is upstate NY and OMG its so fucking hot and muggy, sweat doesnt help! There is no breeze to help her where shes at and I cant move her to where there IS one. Shes got a gimpy leg and she cant move to where it might be cooler. Shes stuck, in pain and HOT!! Stupid fucking selfish bastards. I really need to get out of here. Im fucking almost 30 and here they treat me like im 16. If I say boo at them its WW3.

So here I am, helpless to aide Loki. I iced her leg for about 30 minutes and that seemed to soothe her a bit, but shes still hot. I was so hot and wet out there I almost oculdnt stand it. Its like I jumped in a pool, got out and now I cant dry off. They sit all cool with an AC, but poor Loki is suffering out there because Bruce wants a fan going in an empty room.

And the friggin vet wont be here till MAYBE tomorrow. He said he might make it yesterday, but course he didnt. Today is the fourth and we all know that fireworks and bbqs are more important than animal health, so their office is closed. So he MIGHT show up tomorrow. I mean come on! Shes been lame since thursday! And the office is TWO MILES from our house! Probably not even that!! "Fuck people pets! I wanna stuff my fat face with dead animals and watch dem perdy sparklers! Herherher!!"

Im so angry right now I could punch someone. I can think of the perfect person too!!!!

===================================================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
===================================================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

I hate the Flu

~sej — Wed, 31 May 2006 21:35:49 PDT

Or what ever it is I have....

Mood: I no feel good
Listening to: Grill
Reading: Brick Lane
Watching: City of Lost Children

Ive had this cold thingy for almost 2 weeks now and Im darn sick of it!! Just when I think Im getting better, WHAMO! Back it comes. SHane and I are still stuffed up, coughing up goo and suffereing from headaches. I think I may go to the DR here soon! Its getting old.

And being sick and in bed for a full 5 days (only getting out of it to use the girly room) I neglected my pets. Shane helped alot with the watering and feeding, but he refuses to clean them, so my poor inside pets went ages. I've only just now cleaned Camillas cage and Burrs. EW! Burrs was mostly just wet. But whew! The stink! Poor bun Hes SO happy now though, with his nest full of new hay! Camilla LOVES it when I dont clean her for a while. See, our screens are anything but bug proof and we live in cow/corn country. So...we get flies no matter what. And well, flies LOVE chicken poop. Camilla has a wire bottom on her cage and a pan under it. She cant reach those loverly bugs unless I let her. And well, you should hear her scren every time I clean her!! After getting out the major stuff, I usuallt let her out to peck around in the pan, eating what ever icky bug she can find. This time, after so long with out cleaning the thing out, there was, well, a crop full in there! She was absolutely delighted. Its gross to me, but to a chicken? Maggots and creepy crawlies are like heavan. She couldnt eat them fast enough! Shes a good helper.

After that I sit down to go thru my emails and I finally go to andyspenpals.com to see if I got any responces to my add from a while back. And what do I see?? They got hacked and closed the site down permanently!! Stupid hackers! Ruining the site for us all! That was the best pen pal site Ive ever used. Im very dissapointed.

Ah well. At least we have our AC up and running. Its nice in the bedroom. But out here inthe chicken/cat/puter room, whew! Its toasty! Even now, at 12:21am its 81 degrees in here And thats COOL compared to the daytime! I wish I could get another ac for in here. But my stepfather says no, though I dont know WHY. He doesnt pay the electric bill!!

Were going ot start our garden soo. Yes, I agree, its LATE LATE LATE!! But my step father is in charge of when anything is done out there. See, every year he brings over one of the HUGEASS feild tractors to plow this plot in our yard. Now let me explain to you how stupid this really it. See, first of all, the tractor he uses is ginormous. Its the kind they use for plowing up corn feilds, the type that cost 100000 bucks and whos wheels are taller than me. This kind of tractor plows a track thats HUGE. Which brings be to the second reason, our garden plot is TOO HUGE. He plows this garden area thats about 50'x200' every year, sometimes its even bigger than that. But this year hes managed to make it thinner than it normally is. Which is the one good thing about it. But Ill get to that later. This brings me to the third reason why this garden is stupid. When he does finally plow thie huge garden with this huge tractor, its JUNE!!! Its late!! We could have had things in the ground in april, some even in march!! But nooooo. Bruce has to wait till HE thinks it should be done. FOOL! Arg, it makes me so mad I could spit. Every year he does this!

The one, ONE good thing this year is that he somehow missed plowing up my herb/flower bed from last year. And wow, was I happy to see that! I almost cried! Last year I had planted, well, lets see, marigolds, columbines, spearmint, basils, rosemary, thyme, parsely, and a few others I cant recall. This spring, Bruces sister, Barb (whos awesome) gave me some plants (shes been doing this a few years now. She shares her plants with me now that she knows I like gardening). One of them was another columbine. It flowered nicely, and we ooed over its beauty. Then Shane went down to look at the plow work and noticed a patch of like flowers and brought me one. I screamed! Thats a columbine!! We went out and checked and sure enough, the one plant I had planted last year multiplied and is now a nice clump!! With gorgeous purple flowers. And the peppermint that I planted beside it had multiplied beyond anything I could have imagined! I only planted ONE plant, one single plant of peppermint. Now that plant comer...

People Suck!!

~sej — Tue, 18 Apr 2006 01:28:38 PDT

Some of them do, anyway.

Mood: SICKENED!!!
Listening to: Grill
Reading: The Princess Bride
Watching: Chocolat

I miss having friends. I really really do. But all my old friends are male and I guess that having male friends is unacceptable when your dating a caveman.

But I miss them.

The unconditional love that had nothing to do with sex. Ive had a couple very good female friends, but still, there was always something between us that kept us from being completely comfortable and open. I never really had that weirdness with my guy friends. We were able to be ourselves. There was nothing to worry about, we didnt have to impress eachother, you know? There were no thoughts of 'being together' so that stuff didnt muddy up the friendship. There was no worry of them 'stealing' your mate, like when your friends with the same sex.

My whole life Ive wanted brothers and I guess I made up for the lack of them by having male friends. Ive always been drawn to the boys who where nice and funny and who would love me as a sister and protect me. You know what I mean? People who wouldnt let anyone pick on me or make fun of me. Who would 'interogate' my dates and tease me about them. Big brothers who I could count on and not worry about them taking advantage of me.

I love love love my man. He has no idea how much I love him. How much I need him. I wish he could understand me. I feel very alone sometimes.

===================================================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
===================================================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

Some Favorites

~sej — Tue, 28 Mar 2006 07:52:22 PST

Thought I would share a few of my favorites with anyone who reads my journal.

Mood: Content and Happy
Listening to: Besaid Island from FF10
Reading: The Sultans Harem
Watching: Dark Water

OK, me first!

Some from my gal

And this woman has some of the very best animal photos Ive ever seen
[link] has started laying eggs. Shes layed two so far. Theyre really small and a lovely dark brown. Ill get some p hotos up soon.

Bleh. At least the rain is nice....

===================================================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
===================================================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

I ROCK!!!

~sej — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:34:59 PST

I really really DO!

Mood: Content and HAPPY!!
Listening to: Classical Chinese Music
Reading: The Good Earth
Watching: Pi

Well, you see Ive been using this site Etsy To sell my prints. A week or so ago I was checking out what was new there and on their front page I saw the cutest little spoon . If I had the money, I would have bought it right on the spot. Its SO cute!! But since I couldnt buy it I got to thinking, hey, maybe i could make my own! So Shane got out his carving tools and I got out my dremel and an old dowel and got to work.

I came up with these little things - - Then I got to thinking about if maybe I could sell them. Ive sold 8 prints so far through Etsy so I thought Id give it a shot! Well, last night I log in and post the good rolling pin . Then not hours later, I get an email from the fellow who make the tiny wooden spoon congratulating me on getting featured onthe front page of Etsy!!

You can imagine my surprize! WEE! Not only did the fellow who inspired me send me a note (what a coincidence ) But this is the SECOND time Ive been on the front page of the site. First was with my hen, Linda Lee . I dont know if it will help sell anything, but it sure made my day!! Its nice to get noticed. Ive been here at DA for years but feel very lost in a sea of good art, barely noticed except for a few passers by. Ive never had a daily and dont expect I ever will. But this site chose me two times! Its very satisfying to get noticed for your work, even just a little.

Maybe its not all for nothing....

===================================================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
===================================================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

My Teeth Hurt

~sej — Thu, 02 Mar 2006 14:15:09 PST

Cavities are EVIL!!!!

Mood: Content but Pained
Listening to: Besaid Island-FFX
Reading: The Good Earth
Watching: Willy Wonka (I adore Depp!!)

Well, Ive got a nice painful cavity, or three. Something major is up with the 'good' side of my mouth and it KILLS me sometimes. I cant even chew cheerios on that side now I'm very glad that I have my wisdom teeth or else I dont know how the heck I'd be chewing as well as I am! My mouth is a mess, though not as bad as it could be, yes, but still its a mess. Ive got 3 broken teeth to boot! But 2 of those have been root canaled and dont hurt, but the 3rd is sensative, though not half as bad as what ever is killing me on the other side! I wish I had more money to get my teeth worked on. I have medicaid but I cant find a dentist who takes it. I wish I could work on my own teeth.

The new dog, Duke, is doing well. THough my stupid Mom and Bruce still want him in his cage 24/7. Ive beeninsisting that we leave the cage door open to let him get used to the other animals, and them to him. The poor fellow doesnt deserve to live inside a tiny cage his whole life! Thats a big reason why we took him inthe first place. SO he wouldnt have to live like that! Anyway, hes a VERY lovey dog and comes right to attention when you say his name and sits as fast as he can for you. Though I suspect that at some time he was abused. Hes very afraid of everything and cringes like I'm going ot hit him. He also is crazy with his food, hed eat an entire bag if we let him! Ive known other abused dogs who where starved who acted like that, so maybe he was too. Hes over 6 years old, lots can happen in that time.

Our ailing dog, Ninja, is doing AMAZING. He can walk and get up on his own. Hes not peeing himself anymore and hes even going outside again! His groin area which was pretty much rotting from him peeing himself (I tried my best to keep it clean, but nothing I did seemed to help) is now looking quite normal and dry. Hes still shaky on his legs, but hell follow us in to the kitchen now and wag his tail. Love is an amazing thing. It brought him back from deaths door. FOr about 3 days he was almost completely unresponsive, neither drinking or eating or even blinking. I would water him by dribbling it in his mouth, but he wouldnt even move his tongue. His eyes got very gooed up from lack of moisture, it was really gross. I thought he was going to die. But You just cant give up on someone you love. Hes my Bimba! With lots of love and help, hes come back to us and seems almost fine now. If he wasnt so wobbly and didnt have his belly,back legs and bum shaved, your really not know anything ever happened. Hes still thin, but hes been thin for years.

My doll house creations are coming along. Its fun to make things and have them come out looking fairly well! I even have one up for sale - [link]

===================================================
Buy my prints and hand made items here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart!!!!

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
===================================================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

[link] - . When I first got sick (we all have the flu) something happened to him. He had a stroke or something, or maybe he too, got the flu (though I'm not sure about that sort of thing passing form people to pets). But he collapsed and couldnt get up. He stopped eating and drinking and was dying. As I felt better, I spent more time with him and all of us (amazingly, even mom) tried to coax him to eat and drink. He gradually seemed to come out of his fog and started to drink. Then after about a week of not eating, he began to want food. He still cant stand, though hes trying to now! And he still is peeing himself (and what a stinky boy he is now!!) but he is much more like his old self. He barks when he gets uncomfortable or needs water or food or has wet himself. Or just when hes lonely. A few days ago my mother and I where arguing about killing him. She wants to but I dont. Hes comfortable now and eating and not starving to death anymore. Why kill him? I believe that she wants to because hes in the way. Shes annoyed with him and would just like to be rid of the old man. But hes my friend! A good, sweet helpless old friend. How can I let them kill him? If he hadnt started eating, I would feel differently. Starving to death is not a nice way to die. I want him to be comfortable. If hes suffering, then, yes, I may be swayed to side with mercy euthanasia. But other than him not having the strength to stand, he seems fine! Aftrer a week of not eating or moving, his hind legs have lost muscle. It will take time for him to build it up again. Shane and I stand him up and let him use his legs. He cant hold himself up, but if you help him a little, he can walk!

Well, today is a good day

===================================================
Buy my prints here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart.

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
===================================================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

Lifa Sux

~sej — Thu, 09 Feb 2006 04:48:35 PST

It truly does.

For me at least. It really does. Not only am I horribly sick, but I'm a major fucking LOSER. I wish I could wish myself dead. But then me being the loser that I am, I bet you wish I was dead too!

===================================================
Buy my prints here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart.

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
===================================================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

This year is already sucking

~sej — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 14:41:04 PST

...That Homicidal-Rampage I mentioned before sounds really nice...

Mood: Bleh
Listening to: FF 7 and 8 music
Reading: none
Watching: Star Wars 2&3

I went out the day after xmas to do feed in the morning. I fed my
horse and the chickens in the smaller two coops. Then I went to the
big coop with 2 roos and 3 hens and I noticed feathers ont he ground
outside. I thought eh, the cats must have gotten a bird. Which they
do pretty often. But then I actually looked and saw that they looked
an awful lot like my Golden Laced Wyandotte, Sissy. WHen I opened
the door to the coop she was there, at the door, in the corner and
the other chickens where jostling to get out and where standing on
her body and one of the hens, Maria, was eating her. And then the
smell hit me. God, I still can smell it. It was horrible. I kicked
her off of Sissy and tried to look at her better. But Maria kept
coming back and taking bites from her neck. Somehow something had
taken her whole head and neck off. I couldnt find them anywhere.
There was no blood in the coop, or out or it.

THe door was still their summer door, made of wood and chicken whire
covered with heavy plastic. The bottom right corner of the door had
the plastic torn off a little but nothing really looked out of the
ordinary. I closely examined the door and the frame for any marks
but only found a tiny smear of blood on the inside, no more than a
drop of blood could make. And on the outside there was 2 faint
scratch marks that looked to be from a foot about the size of a
nickle. It also smelled very strongly of cat spray or something
similar. Very strong and musky. Also when I went out to do feed, I
smelled skunk. I figured it was our old barn. Years ago a container
of skunk scent broke and you can still smell it sometimes.

My moms bf thought maybe a weasel got her. but I wonder why there
was no blood? Seems that if she had her head bitten/torn off that
there would be gushing blood. I dont mean to be grafic, but its all
Ive been thinking of since I found her. There was no blood in the
coop, no feathers, and as far as I can tell, no sign of a struggle.
THe wire on the door wasnt even bent out of place. There wasnt a
single drop of blood on the plastic, which what ever ate her had to
climb under and then stand on to get to her. Also, I found one of
her eggs beside her. THey NEVER lay eggs anywhere but in their cubby
nests. I know it was her egg because it was pointy on one end. Sissy
layed distictive eggs. So I'm thinking thaty maybe she died and then
something ate her? Maybe the other chickens killed her? Maybe she
was egg bound and died? I was out there xmass eve and they where
find and happy. Its driving me crazy. I love her. I feel sick
aboutit. And they where eating her! Uhg, chickens are so horrible
sometimes. I just dont understand! One minute theyre so loving to
eachother then then the next, theyre like WOW! FOOD!

Well, Ive put on a new door. I did that right away. Its solid wood
and evenI have a hard time opening it. They only have their heat
lamp for light now, but at least nothing can reach in to them. I
will put in a window on the next warmish day. I just cant believe
it. I truly hope that she was dead before what ever ate her, ate
her. THe thought of her alive while that was happening is just too
much. I also hope that it wast one of my cats who ate her. Though it
wouldnt surprise me if she was already dead and they smelled her.
And she was very fragrant when I found her. I had to put my shoes
and coat and things in the shed. They made the whole house smell. It
was terrible.

I thought that maybe she stuck her head out the wire and choked or
something. it was weird how she was in the corner like that, with
her egg. I dunno. And there are so many animals here that could have
done it, weasel, rat, skunk, racoon, opossum, cats...I'm posting a
picture of her in my folder here so everyone can see how beautiful
she was. She was a big beautiful surprise when her feathers came
out. I thought I was buying a black sex link chick, heh. Maybe I can
get another glw int he spring. Name her Spasik or something.

THERES MORE-

For months now, I have had two Welsummer pullets living int he
house. THeyre together, in a bird cage and except for lice, they
have been doing wonderfully. Yesterday they somehow got their cage
open and came out to expl...

I Hate....

~sej — Mon, 02 Jan 2006 01:09:42 PST

...pretty much everything...

Mood: Bleh
Listening to: FF 7 and 8 music
Reading: Dangerous
Watching: War or the Worlds

This year had better be God Damned better than the last. Or I just might go on that Homicidal Rampage Ive been dreaming about.....

===================================================
Buy my prints here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart.

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]
===================================================
I belong to way too many groups. But theyre just so great!

We have Snow

~sej — Sat, 10 Dec 2005 21:26:06 PST

Its pretty

Mood: Bleh
Listening to: Rattling Fan
Reading: Something Dangerous
Watching: War or the Worlds

Well, we got snow yesterday. Its so pretty! I went rightout when the sun came up to take pictures and foof around in it. It was a bit too dark to get any 'amazing' photos, but I got a few ok ones.

Loki and the chickens where very glad to see me come around the old barn. Loki could hear my footsteps from a mile away, I swear. Shes a sweety. Still havent fixed her blanket, but she seems to be keeping warm anyway. Her ears where toasty! I let the boogers out for a bit. Banya thought it was just too cold to even come out of the coop all the way. He just sat on the door sill while his two ladies foraged at his feet. I then let the meanies out and they where actually nice! THey didnt go far from the door, but William didnt try to kill me for once. I spent a little time 'wrangling' them the other day and it seems to have helped. I dont want them afraid of me, but it would be nice to not get kicked or bitten every time I feed them!

I have my little tree up. Its cute. We bought it at walmart, its one of those white ones. I love it. It came prestrung with white lights and then I added a string of pink/red ones. Its SO beautiful. I dont have many decorations to put on it, but its still nice. Makes me feel fuzzy.

Seems now that since its been so cold that I have to start hurrying togatherthe eggs from outside. Theyre freezing solid!! Poor things. I wish I could have the coops heated with more that heat lamps.

The only real bad news I have is that my welsummer hens -[link] - that Ive had for almost 2 months, in the houseHAVE LICE!!! I'm SO discusted. How could I have not noticed before now?? Yeck. Well, the good news is that they cant live on anything but birds. They eat feather stuffs and thats it. They dont bite or suck blood. So thats something. But what Ive read says that the lice live ont he birds for life... But maybe thats because people dont ususally take the time to thoroughly comb and pick them all out? I got some human lice shampoo for them. My housechicken friends all say that its safe to use and works well. Soheres hopin!!! I dont want my whole flock infested!!!

===================================================
Buy my prints here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart.

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

I wish I was dead

~sej — Fri, 18 Nov 2005 20:20:40 PST

I really really do

Mood: Horribly depressed

Life is so incredibly awful. I cant believe how much it hurts me inside to be alive. I cant stop crying and I wish I could just lay on my bed and die.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buy my prints here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart.

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

I'm Demeter

~sej — Wed, 02 Nov 2005 21:19:33 PST

I've got shopping withdrawl.....

Mood: Very Sleepy
Listening to: Rattling Fan
Reading: Coffee & Kung Fu by Karen Brichoux
Watching: Blow

Demeter,
The Greek Goddess of grain and harvest.

Your kindred goddess is Demeter
Traits: Nature loving Just Maternal

Like you, Demeter is attuned to the growing, maturing and changing of life and nature all around her. She provides a guiding hand through growing pains, both physical and spiritual. She symbolizes the abundance of spirit that comes naturally with maturity and the fullness of time.

Buy my prints here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart.

My stuff on mugs and things - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

Computer and stuff

~sej — Sun, 23 Oct 2005 23:02:12 PDT

Everything sucks really bad sometimes but today is ok )

Mood: I'm ok, you ok?
Listening to: Chatham Barouque cd
Reading: Coffee & Kung Fu by Karen Brichoux
Watching: Blow

OK, well, soon anyway, it will be here! I ordered it thru ebay as it was the best deal I could find. Check him out - [link] hes pretty....

Also, my knitting is coming along nicely.though the damned 5 needle socks are killing my knuckles. I cant imagine what my hands are going to feel like when I'm old if they feel this bad now! But, oh well, I want my damned socks! Theyre so worth the pain.

Shane and I watched Blow last night and I balled my eyes out after. It reminded me of my dad way too much. not that he was a bigtime drug dealer like George Jung was, but he was pretty damned stupid back then. When I was little, while Mom and I where at his house doing laundry, the swat team busted in and took him away. He had 2000lbs of hash in the basement. Along with 80lbs of coke that mom is now denighing he had. Anyway, it was a big tadoo in Maine drug bust history and in my life. He was in jail for a while and I can so relate to the movie. it made me miss him. I love my dad with all my heart and I cant imagine anything in the world that could change that. I was very saddened to see that Georges Jungs daughter has never visited him in jail. How could she not go see him?? Hes her father! I know fathers out there who have been horrid to their children, physically abusing them, sexually abusing them, and they still stand by them and love them. but this guy? He didnt seem all that bad to me. So he broke promises. Big deal. Mine has too. Whos dad hasnt? Why abandoned him? I wish I knew more about it. But I think it would just make me more sad.

My chicken, Camilla, is doing well. For those of you who dont know, she was badly injured by a rooster while mating. See, chicken sex is rather violent and they have wickedly sharp nails and well, its easy to hurt the hens.... her side, under the wing,was torn open. If you want to see, I have a photo here - [link] Her ribs wher exposed and it was just terrible. Idont think I'll ever eat chicken again. not that I did much anyway. But shes healing, amazingly and miraculously (how the ehck do u spell that?). Shes not happy about being inside and is on a hunger strike. But is still doing well.

Buy my prints here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart.

My shyt on mugs and crap - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

Bleh

~sej — Thu, 13 Oct 2005 20:57:34 PDT

Everything sucks really bad sometimes

Mood: verry depressed
Listening to: Chatham Barouque cd
Reading: Coffee & Kung Fu by Karen Brichoux
Watching: Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

My torn up hen, Camilla, is doing well. Her wound is going to look horrible for a ong time, but she seems totaly indifferent to it. One of my roos, William (the one who tried to kill me all the time) has a hurt comb/head. While mom was making dinner I asked Shane to bring him in to me. Sometimes its funto sit inthere for a while and cuddle a chicken And it was raining so I didnt want to go out myself. Well, in comes William and hes bleeding like crazy from the base of his comb. It doesnt look to serious, but my poor guy! When we built the second coop for Perle, Linda, and Banya, we rushed and didnt make a door. The fence is partially held up by shutting it in the other coops door. We think that William got caught on it and tore his head/comb. His head is cut at the base of his comb, under his feathers. I cant get a good look at it, but the bleeding stopped and I slathered on neosporin and when I put him back out, I gobbed on alot of bag balm hoping the taste/smell would deter the others from pecking at him. My poor mean man! He was so sweet inside while I tended his head and fed him treats. There was blood splattered onthe wall inthe coop and on Harrys feathers. I think tis from WIll shaking his head. He splattered me inside I hope these injuries stop! My poor chickens!!

Jes

Buy my prints here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart.

My shyt on mugs and crap - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

Shoot Me

~sej — Wed, 12 Oct 2005 21:12:41 PDT

Everything sucks really bad sometimes

Mood: verry depressed
Listening to: Classical Chinese Music
Reading: A book about sheep
Watching: Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Please, somebody..........

Buy my prints here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart.

My shyt on mugs and crap - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

Shyt

~sej — Sun, 09 Oct 2005 07:05:22 PDT

Everything sucks really bad sometimes

Mood: verry depressed
Listening to: Classical Chinese Music
Reading: A book about sheep
Watching: Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Sometimes you think your doing ok and then suddenly the whole world falls in on your face. It really sucks. I suck. I'm an idiot and I'm getting tired of this life....

Buy my prints here - [link] - I get more profit there than from devart.

My shyt on mugs and crap - [link]

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

STORE IS NOW OPEN!!

~sej — Fri, 30 Sep 2005 18:16:51 PDT

Heres something to do!

Mood: Content
Listening to: Classical Chinese Music
Reading: A book about sheep
Watching: Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Click this button down here -

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

Hot Peppers n Pickles

~sej — Thu, 08 Sep 2005 13:57:37 PDT

Heres something to do!

Mood: Comfy
Listening to: Humming Fan
Reading: Nothing at the moment
Watching: Alexander

[x] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I listen to political music.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x ] I watch the news.
[x] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3
[x] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x] I love Disney Movies.
[ ] I am a sucker for hair/eyes
[x] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse regularly.
[ ] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[x] I bake well.
[x ] I would wear pajamas to school. (and how!!)
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.
[ ] I have a job.
[x] I love Martha Stewart.( what!!!! the woman has great holiday decorating ideas!)
[x] I am in love with love
[x] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[ ] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[x] I loved Go Ask Alice.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I have many scars.
[ ] I've been out of this country.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[x] I see a therapist.
[x] I love chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[x] I am comfortable with being me.
[x] I play video games.
[x] Gotten lost in my city.
[x] Saw a shooting star
[ ] I Had a serious Surgery
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[x] I have Kissed a Stranger
[x] Hugged a stranger
[ ] Been in a fist fight
[ ] Been arrested
[ ] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] Made out in an elevator
[x] Swore at your parents
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts
[x] Been close to love
[ ] Been to a casino.
[ ] Been skydiving
[x] Broken a bone
[x] Skipped school
[x] Flashed someone
[x] Saw a therapist
[ ] Played spin the bottle
[x] Gotten stitches
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[x] bitten somebody
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[x] Crashed into a friend's car
[ ] Been to Japan
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Shoplifted
[x] Been fired
[x] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] Had feelings for someone who didnt have them back.
[x] Stole something from your job
[ ] Gone on a blind date
[x] Lied to a friend
[x] Had a crush on a teacher
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
[ ] Been to Europe
[ ] Slept with a co-worker
[x] Saw someone dying
[ ] Been to Africa
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[ ] Been to Canada
[ ] Been to Mexico
[x] Been on a plane
[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
[ ] Thrown up in a bar
[ ] Eaten Sushi
[ ] Been snowboarding
[ ] Been Skiing
[x] Met someone in person from the internet
[ ] Been to a moto cross show
[x] Lost a child (due to death.....not I was at a store and oops lost my kid)
[x] Gone to college
[x] Dropped out of high school/college
[x] Done hard drugs
[x] Taken painkillers
[x] Had someone cheat on you
[x] Miss someone right now

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

Awake Too Early

~sej — Sat, 20 Aug 2005 22:27:48 PDT

Theres nothing to do!

Mood: Comfy
Listening to: Humming Fan
Reading: Nothing at the moment
Watching: Alexander

I'm upand its 1 am, been up since about 10pm. I wish it was day time so I could go outside. It would be nice to be out there before it gets hot. Later in the morning we're going up to Saratoga to the racetrack to get the giveaway. Its some stein, the line is going to behuge. But hopefully we'll get there early enough so the line wont be like a mile likelast weekend. I'm bringing my camera, maybe I'll get some good pictures. But we arent staying for the racing Mom and Shane dont like it.

Anyway, I'm bored.......

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

My chickens are WICKED!

~sej — Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:32:19 PDT

They are the best!

Mood: Comfy
Listening to: Humming Fan
Reading: Nothing at the moment
Watching: Alexander

I really do love my chickens. Ilov ethem so much its really hard to eat anything made from chicken meat now. My mom cooks with it fairly often and I eat it, but I dont enjoy it anymore. To think that amazing animals, just like them, are suffering in tiny coops, or mashed together in a large tin building ('free rangers') just makes me feel sick. I've seen video of how theyre handles and killed. Its something you cant ever get out of your mind. I know, first hand, how cruel people can be. Especially with animals who look nothing like humans. Some people can have a soft spot for maybe something like a puppy with big soulful eyes or a tiny mewing kitten (tho there are plenty of freaks who abuse and mutilate them too) but to feel love and sympathy for a creature as seemingly cold and expressionless as a chicken....most people cant I guess.
But if you spend time with them, to really SEE them, theyre over flowing with emotion and life and love. They even blush, just like we do! They groom eachother, cuddle and peep to eachother. The roos will call the women over when they find some good tidbit of food, letting them have it, even letting them take it out of their mouths! Theyre fiercely protective of their space and of one another. They have a very big vocal range. More than I had imagined. I dont know what all the sounds mean, but they sure do! And they are SO incredibly beautiful. Its just insanity to me that people go out and spend thousands on exotic parrots. I know some parrots are incredibly beautiful and smart. That they can be loving and like us in many ways. But it seems cruel to me, to keep such intelligent and social animals, locked up in cages and in homes, so far away from anything natural.
And not to mention how viscious they can be to people! Shanes mother and father have 3 parrots (an amazon, an african grey and an eclectus). They can be funny and talk well sometimes. But mostly theyre mean! They bite horribly even biting eachother (one almost bit anothers toe right off!). You have to be wary of them every moment their out of their cages. They have a very specialized diet which takes alot of time to prepare. Though I think theyre very cool, actually. But I dont want one. Theyre way too expencive, for one. I mean, a thousand dollars for a bird? Thats more than my horse cost! And keeping them from a true loving BIRD relationship....Would you want to be the only one of your kind that you ever saw in your whole life? To never go outside and see trees and breathe the air? To NEVER FLY! Well, never walk in our case. My chickens might not live in the jungle like their ancestors did, but they DO have a family of like creatures and lots of freedom to be chickens. I dont have them to be cute and say things like 'I love you' or anything. I have them so I can enjoy them just being themselves. And to have an egg or two, tho if they never lay eggs, I wont be very dissapointed.
Anyway, I love my chickens!

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

My slugs all have red poop!

~sej — Wed, 03 Aug 2005 01:06:08 PDT

Its very festive

Mood: Sluggish
Listening to: Replay - Rihanna
Reading: Harry Potter - 6
Watching: The Mechanist

I'm assuming its from all the watermelon theyve been eating. They love it! They also seem to like getting misted with a spray bottle.

On a totally un slug related note, I went shopping and it has really sunk in how poor I am. How does the government expect ANYONE to live on $409 a month??? I mean people wonder why I, a 27 year old, still lives with her mother, well, there you go! Money suxor

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

I HAVE SLUGS!!

~sej — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 23:08:49 PDT

Squish....

Mood: itchy
Listening to: Replay - Rihanna
Reading: Harry Potter - 6
Watching: The Mechanist

I have 3 giant Leopard slugs. Theyre beautiful!

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

My very best art is HERE - [link]

Blublublublublub

~sej — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 04:50:27 PDT

Blublublublublublub

Mood: blublublublublub
Listening to: Milkshake - Kelis
Reading: The Artists Way
Watching: The Mechanist

I feel sick....everything suxor....

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

Painting a Gnome

~sej — Sun, 10 Jul 2005 21:53:32 PDT

Im a little creative tonight!

Mood: Happy
Listening to: Peaceful instrumental music
Reading: House of Blue Mangoes - David Davidar
Watching: The Mechanist

Its been a while... And this digital paitning of a gnome is giong ot take me forever! But its kinda fun. I havent tried to do anythig digital in months. But so far its coming out nicely!

My usefull stock account - [link]

And my stupendous prints - [link]

I'm Lazy

~sej — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 18:04:25 PDT

I'm so lazy.....

Mood: Bleh...
Listening to: silence...and a fan...and battle sounds of EQ
Reading: House of Blue Mangoes - David Davidar
Watching: The Mechanist

I wish they made unlazy pills........

My stupid stock account - [link]

And my stupid prints - [link]

Allergies Suxor

~sej — Fri, 01 Jul 2005 09:54:56 PDT

Since we got the AC up and running, my allergies have been awful. Im not sure what it is, maybe becaise the windows are shut? Eck, I feel crappy....

Mood: Bleh...
Listening to: silence....and a fan
Reading: House of Blue Mangoes - David Davidar
Watching: Movie? Whats that?

But I have Sims! Thank you Rosie !!!!!!!!! You are the bestes friend evers! :huggles: And come on to msn, dammit, I misses you...

My stupid stock account - [link]

And my stupid prints - [link]

I hate summer!

~sej — Mon, 27 Jun 2005 00:33:26 PDT

Its too damned HOT......

Mood: MAD AS HELL!!!
Listening to: silence....and a fan
Reading: House of Blue Mangoes - David Davidar
Watching: Movie? Whats that?

And my mom got me an air conditioner today, too. But since I was sleeping when she got home with it (I didnt know she was buying one, er, rather, having my Pip buy it) and SHE was sleeping when I woke up, Im not allowed to hook the fucker up! I have to wait for 'instructions'. See, her bf, Bruce is an asshole about most things and hes decided, along with Mommy Dearest, that I have to have it in a particular window (which has a storm window on it and is painted shut, btw) and I have to have it plugged in to the cord that my computer is plugged in to. Bruce is a lazy bastard and has let this house go to hell. None of the plugs or anything in my rooms work. The only electricity I have is run in with extension cords. And because hes insane and thinks that the AC will draw abuot as much power and a whole city, I have to have it plugged in to its own special cord (like my puter is). But the only bright orange industrial cord that I have is conected to the friggin puter. SOOOOOO I have to wait till after the first when I get money and can buy another heavy duty cord. So lucky them get to ruminate in their room with THEIR new ac, all cool and comfy. While me and Shane and ALL my pets (10 cats, 2 dogs, a bird, 2 rats and a turtle) get to suffer in this hellish sauna (I swear it was over 100 degrees in here today). And here I sit, sweating, angry, with a damned tiny ass fan blowing hot air at me and making my eyes dry. Why the fuck did she get me an ac but no cord?? I was going to buy one after the first.... But see, with her bringing it home SHE has control over what I do with it. And Bruce. They like that alot. Now I get to look at a lovely ac in a box while I dream about winter....

My stupid stock account - [link]

And my stupid prints - [link]

deviantART: by:sej