http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:shadowspleen&section=today deviantART RSS for by:shadowspleen en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 17 Dec 2009 10:07:44 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/24388979/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/24388979/ Thu, 23 Apr 2009 05:34:57 PDT
]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/21276224/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/21276224/ Sun, 02 Nov 2008 03:03:15 PST
Hopefully, some of you are still reading this stuff. Sorry if you people have been waiting for so long. Now, if I can only convince the writing monkey to stay on my back this time...

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/19322263/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/19322263/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:04:59 PDT
But not at home.

First, I went to go see Wanted at the theater, and, I must say, I really enjoyed it. Not sure how I feel about the ending (no, not giving anything away), but I still liked it a great deal.

Then, I went next door to Game Works and played some games before returning to the theater to see Hancock with my wife and our friend Amul. Again, really enjoyed it. It ended up not being the kind of movie I thought it was going to. Oh, granted, it had some of the elements I was expecting (humor, a little SFX slapstick, that kind of stuff), but with a twist. It ended up being a little darker (not much), and more serious than I was expecting. All in all, I really liked it.

Then, I returned to Game Works, where I played video games and drank Jack 'n Cokes for two hours before going to the theater for the third time to see a midnight showing of Hellboy II: The Golden Army.

That movie was pretty much what I expected it to be. Enjoyable, entertaining, some cool fight scenes. But there was one thing about the film I absolutely loved.

Elves are not pansies.

At least, not in this movie. In fact, they're a little more like they were thought of a few hundred years ago. Frightening, powerful, capricious, and sometimes deadly (well, usually deadly or worse, if you look at the old legends and stories.) The main villain (no, I'm not giving away spoilers, you can tell this stuff from the trailers) is awesome, as far as I'm concerned. And the fact that he's an elf without being a pussified Tolkien-esque (even tolkien elves were much cooler than they are now portrayed to be) flouncing tree-hugging wannabe. No, he's a creature with ambition, power, speed, grace, and a whole lot of angry baggage.

So, all in all, Hellboy II was good, but the villain was awesome.

And that's how I spent my day. Now, I'm off to drink whiskey, smoke cigarettes, and maybe do a little writing.

Yipee!!

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/18813412/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/18813412/ Fri, 13 Jun 2008 02:54:04 PDT
Hmmm, let's see...Patty and I lost our apartment, a whole lot of BS there, but the short of it is that we ended up staying in an extended stay hotel for a few months. During that time, I got my new computer Redemption. Not cutting edge by any stretch of the imagination, but definitely better than my old one. And I even got the old one up and running again.

Worked my ass off for a long time, and now I have a new apartment, better than my old one. And, best of all, it is mine and Patty's from the beginning! No roommates, just us from the word go. Still have a few issues with the place though. The AC doesn't work (getting that fixed soon I hope), had to buy blinds for the door to the balcony, toilet in the guest bathroom needs to be rebolted down, hot water for bathtub in that bathroom only gives a trickle, have to buy supplies to hook up my new overhead microwave, need blinds for the office, and need to touch-up/repaint the living room (although I love the color for the most part! Just needs another coat on a couple of walls.)

Sounds like a lot, but it's not bad, really. Just little things. And, since it is a lease with option to buy (and I got an awesome deal through a great friend), I'm doing most of the work myself. Big stuff, like the AC and the like, are being handled by the landlord, but I'm doing the microwave and toilet myself. Not difficult, just need time and supplies.

But, I've got internet again, and cable, and a home phone number. (Message me if you need the number!) Hmmm...what else...

Patty and I are planning on getting a kitten, probably next week. Depends on funds (vet stuff, plus pet supplies, of which we have none.) I'm writing again, but it's still hit and miss as to when I have time to do so. But, having a real office again will make it a metric buttload easier. (my wife's term, don't know where she got it.)

Oh, we also bought ourselves our first iPod, and an Amazon Kindle for our anniversary. We both had that week off (I love paid vacation), so we treated ourselves a lot. Spent WAY too much money, especially considering we were still looking for a new apartment at the time, but...

Well, to be honest, she deserved it, after all the other crap we've gone through in the last five years. And, while five years isn't that long to some people, I still wanted to make it something real special.

So, we went to movies, ate out a bunch (including an expensive Brazilian steakhouse were we dropped a little over two hundred dollars on dinner...and worth every penny!), and even stayed in to get drunk and watch movies together. All in all, an incredible week.

But, now we're back to the regular stuff. Working, spending time together when we can, watching movies, reading, what not.

Hmm...what else...Well, nothing that I can think of. Hopefull, I'll be posting more often, now that I have a place to live (with a real office! I can't get over that!). We shall see.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/14320805/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/14320805/ Fri, 24 Aug 2007 14:38:15 PDT My love, my archivist, my librarian, and my councilor on those nights of rage and frustration, has died.



Apocalypse, my trusty steed, blew it's power supply last night during the monstrous set of storms we had out here. I'm not sure, but the power flickering and the like may have fried the motherboard and CPU as well. Working six days a week, I don't have a lot of time to try and identify the problems, much less get them fixed. So, until then, I am reduced to using a machine at work.



Alas, my beautiful Apocalypse, as old as you were, you were still a true friend. We've been through so much. Viruses and storms, moving from one place to the other, always together. You've seen me at my worst, and hold some of my best creations. You shall be missed.



You stupid piece of shit. *kicks computer for breaking*

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/13020557/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/13020557/ Sun, 20 May 2007 02:28:26 PDT Redemption is finally starting to see some work from me, as well as a couple of stand alone pieces I've been playing with.

And, of course, Children of the Storm will have a few new episodes soon. I know I haven't written much in a long time, but, now that the flower season is slowing down, I have time, energy, and creative juices are flowing! (insert horrible comment here)

So, keep an eye out! I ain't dead yet, and the writing is starting to come back to life as well!

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/12112397/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/12112397/ Thu, 08 Mar 2007 22:43:26 PST
Oh well, at least I'm starting to write again. We'll see if I can actually keep it up. Not likely, knowing my history, but we'll see.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/10314195/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/10314195/ Sat, 07 Oct 2006 12:21:16 PDT I felt the heat of a summer's kiss
Reason scattered to wind
The future, uncaring, so cold

Hands gripping tight, knucles cracking
Sand slipping through
Time comes for all of us
And buries all of us in time

Holding to truth, worshipping lies
Afraid to see inside my soul
The man I was, the man I am
Dying, dying, dying

I face the dawn, shivering
I start the car, and drive
Each day must be met
Each promise must be...

Work through pain
Struggle with loss
Loneliness, the curse of life
Broken by a moment in summer



Good bye.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/9442632/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/9442632/ Thu, 20 Jul 2006 22:13:33 PDT
And yet, they are a part of who you are, forever the same and always changing. For many years in my life, I have sought to both banish and become one with those darker aspects to my psyche. I've been successful at times, and had dismal failures at others. But, through all of it, I learned what I believe is the most valuable lesson.

Despite my trial and tribulations, despite my happiness and sadness, I have never truly given up. Whether I was homeless or living it up in a big ass house I could call my own, there was still that iron core in my soul that would not break, would not yield to the heartaches and personal calamaties life can bring.

I'm married now, to a most wonderful woman. I have a few very, very close friends, and I have many friends that are simply close. But, if I were too lose all of them, all in one fell swoop, would I give up? Would I curl into a ball and simply cease existing?

I don't know, since I cannot predict the future, but a part of me...I think about that kind of thing happening, and all I can think about is how I would learn to cope with such devastation, trying to find a way to move past and beyond it. And I think about how I would still strive for happiness, for connection.

for love.

Even when I have discovered love, both recently and in the past, so powerful that it seems to shake the foundations of my soul, I still yearn for more. I crave it as one craves water or oxygen. I need it to fulfill my existence. I must give my heart, and receive love in return, or I am not a child of (insert chosen deity name or force of nature here).

Recently, it has been brought to my attention that I am more than I perceived myself to be. I've always wondered if I could be a certain kind of person, and, if I managed that, whether or not I could handle it. Well, I begining to learn.

To those very few of you who know, you have been more supportive that I ever deserved. For that alone, I must extend my heartfelt thanks and gratitude. I often hold myself before an internal mirror that shows more flaws than actually exist. My very, very close friends have done a good job of covering that mirror up from time to time.

And a couple of you have actually managed to crack it's darkling-reflective surface. Maybe, given time, I'll see myself as how I am, and not as I believe.

And maybe I'll even learn to accept it.

My thanks. ]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/8918137/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/8918137/ Tue, 30 May 2006 05:22:22 PDT
As to other things...well, work has mostly slowed down now that the big flower holidays are behind me. Mother's Day...OMG, I thought I was gonna die. I worked 100+ hours in seven days, and I'm still here to bitch about it.

And since things have evened out for me somewhat, I will hopefully be posting now. My subscription to DA has expired apparently, but I can still post. Once I get my wife's car fixed (and some more work done on mine) I may be able to pay for a subscription again. We shall see.

At any rate, I'm back for now. Let's see how this works out.

NOTE: As too all the journal entries and comments I haven't responded to, I apologize. I found myself forced to just delete most of them, as there is no way I could go through all of them and still have time to do anything else. *G* Some of you are pretty prolific on that front. But I will try to keep up with them from now on. ]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/8506353/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/8506353/ Tue, 18 Apr 2006 02:13:25 PDT Mood: empty
Listening to: nothing
Reading: nothing
Watching: nothing

Due to personal considerations in my life, I find myself forced to make certain sacrifices. One of these sacrifices is any current attempts to actually post something to DA. Note that I don't mean I won't eventually post things in the future, merely that I am finally admitting to the fact that I am unable to maintain the schedule of creativity I had originally envisioned.

This shouldn't come as a suprise to most, as I haven't posted much of anything for some time. I guess I am only acknowledging the fact that my personal life is directly interfering with my creativity.

This means that I will not be posting, checking journal entires, or comments for the most part. Once a month is the most I can hope for right now, and that is stretching things.

I hope to eventually clear up my life enough to become the creative person I have been in the past, but, at the moment, other decisions I must make are paramount.

Please know that DA is not the only thing I will be forced to abstain from. A lot of my personal relationships, among other things, will be suffering as well. We all have to make choices for the betterment of our lives, and I have spent far too long ignoring the choices I knew I would and should make.

I appreciate all the things people have said to me in the past, and I hope that, in the future, I will enjoy such praise and comments.

It's been a good time. But other things must happen first. As much as a part of me wishes to make the things I create one of the primary aspects of my life, certain personal considerations must come first.

If and when I return, I hope to see you all doing well.

Best wishes and prayers to all of you.

Joe

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/8085270/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/8085270/ Mon, 06 Mar 2006 15:18:38 PST Mood: wiped out
Listening to: Electronaur-VNV Nation
Reading: Shadowrun 4th edition
Watching: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Yeah, so I haven't been updating much of anything, just a journal entry here and there. I have my reasons, which consist mainly of my job and my perpetual illness that seems to know no cure.

Between those two things, I'm lucky to have time to take care of my scheduled events, much less have the free time I used to have for writing. And, as I've noticed in the past, the less often I write, the less I have the urge to write. GRrr...Well, I'm going to try to turn it around in the nest few days. See if I can rework my personal life a little and find the time to do more writing. We shall see.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7968072/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7968072/ Wed, 22 Feb 2006 02:45:16 PST Mood: extremely ill
Listening to: PTF2012-VNV Nation
Reading: The Half-BLood Prince
Watching: MirrorMask

So here I am, so ill I called in sick today. It's the first time I've called in sick to any job I've had for over six years. Kind of amazing actually.

And by sick, I mean sick. Aches and pains, chills, fever, runny noise, swollen glands, sore throat, nausea, the whole nine yards. This damned bug is so nasty a double shot of NyQuil barely scratches it, and the only thing keeping me human is sucking down enough OJ to keep the state of Florida in money.

Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow. I'm supposed to game and do stuff (unless my boss wants me to come in to make up for today). We'll see after I see the doctor tomorrow afternoon.

Figures. I never call in sick, I always think I can work through it. And, when I finally do become ill enough to call in to work, it's so bad I need to see my doctor. I'm to stubborn for my own good I guess.

The worse part is that this particular plague can't decide if I'm going to get better or not. Whether I take drugs or not, my symptoms have a tendency to just go away at random. Not all of them, but a random selection of them. And then they come back just as randomly. If this disease I seem to have contracted would make up it's mind about what it's going to do to me, I could go to the drugstore and buy the appropraite stuff. As it stands, I have to guess, stay a step ahead of it, and wait for my appointment.

Argh. I've babbled enough. Fever-induced journal entries never seem as good later.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7876948/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7876948/ Sun, 12 Feb 2006 18:48:41 PST
Let's see. Money dried up, my car is busted, I worked over 90 hours in the last week, and (here's the kicker) my wife got arrested last night.

Seems she never had the emissions test done on her car, and they suspended her license. We never got the notice about the suspension, so we had no idea. Then, she get pulled over because we haven't gotten the plates renewed yet (they're only 2 weeks overdue, anyway). They run her driver's license, and it comes back suspended, so they arrest her.

Thankfully, a good friend of ours came up with the $100 for her bond, but now I'm gonna have to shell out over $130 more just to get the car back. Add to that the $75 for plates, $30 for my wife's license to be reinstated, $200+ to get my car fixed, etc etc etc.

So that would be why I no longer have a paid account on DA. DA might be cheap, but it's still costs more than zero dollars. *Shrug* MAybe one day I'll get it back, we'll see.

Oh, I will be posting new stuff soon. Just gotta get through V-day business with my job, and I'll have some spare time. I hope.

*Sigh* Think I'm gonna go have a glass of Southern Comfort now. ]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7495038/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7495038/ Tue, 03 Jan 2006 02:31:15 PST Listening to: Kids With Guns-Gorillaz
Reading: Crown of Slaves-David Weber
Watching: Chronicles of Narnia-TLTWATW

Wow. Just...wow.

Last friday, when I got done with work, I stopped by the local bar and drank a bit too much. Well, a lot too much. Then, on Saturday night, I went to a bar where I had paind for a dinner and open bar for the New Year's eve party. And I drank a whole lot lot lot too much. And had a great time, as well.

And then had a few drinks last night when some friends. All in all, just how I wanted to spend my New Year's weekend. Booze, food, good company, and no work.

I haven't had two full weekends off in a row in over five years. Just....wow. I didn't know what to do with myself.

It was awesome.

And no hangovers! Yipee! The gods smiled on me!

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7469636/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7469636/ Sat, 31 Dec 2005 17:14:04 PST Listening to: Carol of the Bells
Reading: At All Costs-David Weber
Watching: Chronicles of Narnia-TLTWATW

Well, getting ready to leave for a New Year's Eve party at the one of the two bars I frequent. Open bar, food, the works, all for a pretty reasonable price. So, I'm going to eat orange roughy, drink enough booze to float the Sears Tower, and otherwise enjoy myself to the fullest.

Happy New Year everybody!

And, and a piece of advice: Keep water and aspirin (or something) by the bed tonight. Tomorrow, I'm fairly certain a lot of us are going to need it when we wake up. *G*

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7414382/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7414382/ Sun, 25 Dec 2005 13:58:57 PST Mood: *yawn*
Listening to: Carol of the Bells
Reading: SwordBreaker-Jennifer Roberson

Happy *yawn* holidays, folks.

Had a Christmas Dinner thing at my place last friday, which seemed to turn out pretty well. Only person I was able to get a present for was , but she seemed to like it well enough. (have you even let go of that box yet, girl? )

Had a lot of food, thanks to 's mom, who provided most of the makings for the grand feast. and were there, along with a few others. All in all, a good time that night.

Well, gotta go. Going out to eat with a friend of mine. We're gonna sit, eat food, drink beer, and watch the Chicago Bears make Green Bay cry...oh, yeah.

It's a good Christmas.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7388670/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7388670/ Fri, 23 Dec 2005 03:57:47 PST Mood: wondering
Listening to: I won't believe-Wolfsheim
Reading: SwordMaker-Jennifer Roberson

Are we a slave to what we believe? Or are we greater than the things we're taught to wish for?

Can we go beyond the world we have built for ouselves? Can we let go of the limitatations we've constructed as the years go by, letting ourselves become greater than anything we've ever imagned?

You're damned right we can.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7352583/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7352583/ Mon, 19 Dec 2005 08:23:32 PST Mood: jittery
Listening to: Time-BXF
Reading: Pegasus in Space-Anne McCaffrey
Watching: The Insider

So, I finally get a real day off. I ended up staying at home all night, drinking vodka and kool-aid. Mmm....booze...

So, I passed out around 1 or so, and then woke up at 6 when my wife came to bed. Read some, and then found I couldn't sleep. So, I'm awake at 10 AM, which is about five or six hours earlier than I get up for work most days, and I'm full of nervous energy. I hate it when I feel the tiredness still in my system, but I can't sleep.

At any rate, here I am, jittery and stuff, with the urge to write. So I think I'll go do that.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7302203/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7302203/ Tue, 13 Dec 2005 15:15:41 PST Mood: exhausted (again)
Listening to: nothing at the moment
Reading: To Ride Pegasus-Anne McCaffrey
Watching: The Insider

Ugh. I think I'm going to start a campaign against anything to do with pine needles for christmas. Wreaths, trees, decorative baskets, these things called "great blankets", whatever.

On Sundays (among other days), our company delivers floral products to the distribution center for one of the major supermarket chains in the midwest. (We deliver for a different chain on other days). This past Sunday, the guy who does the normal deliveries was on vacation, and we got in more product than I've ever seen for them before. So, we filled up a 53-foot trailer, put ten pallets worth of stuff on my truck, and we convoyed to the distribution center.

This was after I had already worked a good chunk of the day, mind you. Oh, and I'm supposed to have Sunday off.

It ended up being a 13 1/2 hour day, for which my body was very ungrateful. And the rest of this week does not look promising. Still, it's good, honest work, I get paid well, but I'm just so damned tired. *yawn*

It'll be over soon, though. The week between x-mas and New Years is the slowest weak of the year in this industry, and I am so looking forward to the time to relax, do some serious writing, and just hang out. We shall see.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7279110/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7279110/ Sun, 11 Dec 2005 02:18:51 PST Mood: Contemplative
Listening to: Dark Angel-VNV Nation
Reading: again, nothing at the moment
Watching: Legend

When you make a choice based on hindsight, is it really a choice anymore? Or are you simply justifying the things you've done in order to make those decisions easier to live with?

You know something, it doesn't matter in the end. When all is said and done, you do what you do. It's that simple. All the agonizing over it, all the second thoughts, the recriminations, the doubt and certainty matter nothing. What matters is the fact that you've done something. Action, despite what some might tell you, is still better than nothing. Better to do the wrong thing and allow yourself and others to learn from it, then to do nothing and learn just as much.

At least, that's what I tell myself. *G* We shall see. For, in the end, it is the consequences of choice that determine whether or not that choice will be a good one.

Enoug of this. Time to write.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7217360/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7217360/ Sun, 04 Dec 2005 04:04:25 PST Mood: Contemplative
Listening to: Endless Skies-VNV Nation
Reading: nothing at the moment
Watching: Legend

Here I am, 30 years old at last. Stuck between a world that seems caught up in the chaos of change, and yet imprisoned in a frozen stasis.

Choice abound around me, but are there really choices? Or do we always know what it is we are going to do, and we simply need that internal conflict in order to justify the actions we take?

Lost in a few moments that have faded as quickly as a summer storm, yet always affected by those moments. Engraved in my soul, and yet more ephemeral than a spring flower, memories come and go as easily as commuters on a train.

And here I sit, watching the people go by, wondering if they see what I do, feel the same things, understand what goes through my mind in moments like this. Are they as lost or confused? Or are they blind to the quixotic nature of existence? Or maybe they do know what's going on, and I'm the only one who doesn't get it.

Whatever the case may be, all I can do is live my life as I always have, from moment to moment. Grasp the moments of happiness when you can, and relish the sadness for the joy it defines.

Choices. Time. Memory. All are lost in the end, but they are the things we all strive for.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7137317/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7137317/ Thu, 24 Nov 2005 23:39:00 PST Mood: conflicted
Listening to: Touch-Wolfsheim
Reading: nothing at the moment
Watching: Legend

So, I had to pay for my internet before they would turn it back on. *sigh* But I'm back in time for a late night Turkey Day post.

Last night, the night before T-Day, I had a bunch of people over, including and . It was, all in all, a good time. Played drinking games after we stuffed ourselves, and watched movies with some people until the wee hours of the morning. (Legend still rocks after all these years!)

Still, on Thanksgiving Day itself...Well, I'm sitting here all by myself. My mom and sis live in Seattle, and I couldn't get enough time off to fly out there and visit (not that I'd have been able to get a plane out there this time of year anyway). MY wife went to a friend's place today, and I would have gone with if I hadn't been told I have to work Friday morning.

So, yeah, I'm a little depressed. I mean, I know all my friends had things to do with their respective families, and that's cool and all, but it's still kinda crappy on my end. Add to that the fact that I' having a massive writer's block on Children and Redemption, and I'm not in a happy place.

Holidays suck for me, I guess. Ever since my dad passed away years ago, it's always been rough. Of course, I'm not the only one in that position now. One friend had his mom pass away just before halloween, and another just lost his dad a few days ago. Just a tad depressing.

Still, there are high points to my life, I suppose. Well-paying job (that still doesn't pay the bills), a decent car (that wil cost me over $600 dollars for new tires), a wife that loves me (no complaints there), and friends that are there for me when I need the the most.

Now, if I could just tell them when I need them to be there...*G*

Enough of the self-pity treatment, I suppose. Life could be worse, could be better. Truth is, I have to take it a day at a time.

Hmm....mingled emotions of happiness and despair, confusion on what to do about them, fear of rejection and longing for acceptance...Feels like I'm back in high school. *sigh* Oh, FYI, I turn 30 on December 2nd, if anyone cares.

*sigh* I know 30 isn't that old, but it sure feels like it some days.

At any rate, back I go to beating myself up before I go to work. Happy Holidays!

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7004765/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/7004765/ Wed, 09 Nov 2005 22:25:07 PST Mood: icky
Listening to: Touch-Wolfsheim
Reading: Starwolf-Edmund Hamilton

Well, I'm sick again. Or possibly still. I think this plague I have only went dormant for a little while before resurfacing from it's hiding place. Coughing, runny nose, basically all the NyQuil symptoms. (BTW: NyQuil works great...I think. I'm not awake long enough to know for sure.)

Work keeps going through these crazy slow-busy-slow-busy periods. I can't predict how my day will be anymore, and I just found out that tomorrow I'm going to get slammed with a truckload of stuff for my Indiana run. Twice the amount of product means twice the amount of work for me. We'll see what happens.

Still working on Children of the Storm, almost finished with Chaper 1 (Thank God!). Expect a surprise twist at the end.

Well, off to sleep, or work, or something. Maybe I'll just play video games for a little while.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6855941/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6855941/ Mon, 24 Oct 2005 14:44:46 PDT Listening to: Dark Angel-VNV Nation
Reading: Burning Water-Mercedes Lackey

Well, I haven't posted in a while because my internet has been all kinds of screwed up. It would work for a while, then stop, then work, then stop, off an on for days. Got to the point where I couldn't even get on-line long enough to check my e-mail, Finally got someone from my ISP out here to check my cable connection earyl this morning. My wife (Bless her Soul) woke up to meet the tech, and let me sleep.

Turns out the cable line that runs down the outside of the building from our apartment had teeth marks on it. That's right, something had been chewing on the cable. After eliminating the other possibilities (last I checked, gremlins and faeries don't like the taste of insulation), it can only be the squirrels that practically swarm around out apartment building this time of year.

Personally, I think they're still upset with us. The last tenants to live in this apartment used to feed the squirels constantly, and we don't. Maybe it's a bit of revenge by those evil little balls of fur, but whatever the case, the cable has been replaced. So, I have internet again. Yipee! Now I need to wade through journals, e-mails, and so forth. *sigh* And maybe get some more stuff posted.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6725571/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6725571/ Sun, 09 Oct 2005 22:45:04 PDT Mood: ill
Listening to: Lovesong (club Mix)-Wolfsheim
Reading: Without Remorse-Tom Clancy

Well, my wife and I are both very ill. Runny nose, sore throat, nasty cough, aches and pains, the whole nine yards. Of course, I probably got sick because of my job.

It's only getting worse, and none of us at my job know why. I mean, Sweetest Day is coming up, but that's a very small flower holiday, all things considered. It doesn't explain the huge increase in business we've had.

Still, I'm surviving. I got a pay raise (yippe!), and my boss is paying me a little extra here and there for all the time I've been putting in. And, it looks like things will slow down soon, if our pre-alerts are any indication. I cannot wait. I need a break of some kind.

I finally posted a new piece for Children, and it's a big one compared to the other stuff I've written. Enjoy!

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6622473/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6622473/ Wed, 28 Sep 2005 04:43:05 PDT Mood: blah blah
Listening to: nuthin
Reading: War of Honor (again)-David Weber

So I'm sitting here ripping CDs, debating on what to write,watching the sun come up, and wondering if I should just go to bed.

Rought night at work last night, not that this is news or anything. Last few weeks have been getting worse and worse. I filled the truck up to the doors last night, and I had to pile stuff on top of the pallets at the end of the truck just to get it all to fit. *sigh* Ten hour days are getting old.

Still, it's good for business, which means the company shouldn't be in any danger of going under anymore. Was a bit of a concern for a while there, since the flower business slowed down so much in July and August. But now we're entering the busy growing season for the southern hemisphere, which means a lot of our international accounts are going to be picking up. Add to that Thanksgiving and Xmas, and we should do enough business to tide us over until the start of the TRUE busy season.

Valentine's Day. Oh boy, I'm so NOT looking forward to that. FYI, the three busiest flower holidays of the year, in ascending order of suckiness are: Easter, Valentine's Day, and Mother's Day.

I plan on killing myself before Mother's Day. (NOTE: Joking.)

Needless to say, the job has been sucking so much of my energy lately it's been difficult to write. I come home, watch the news or something, and then go to bed. Wake up, shower, eat food, and go to work. A very simple life, and I feel like a hampster.

Whatever, enough of the "pity me" drivel. I am still working on some stuff for Children and Redemption. Hope to post some today or tomorrow, if I don't fall asleep at the keyboard. QWERTY-face sucks.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6560278/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6560278/ Wed, 21 Sep 2005 02:32:07 PDT Mood: not Kool-aid
Listening to: Kein Zuruck-Wolfsheim
Reading: War of Honor (again)-David Weber

So I sit here with my glass of ice and Southern Comfort, a good cigar in hand, and I wonder what I should write.

Truth is, I've got some issues that need dealing with, and most of them I will be addressing in a few pieces that I will be posting in the near future. The biggest one, though...

The holiday season is approaching, and I find myself descending into a more depressed frame of mind. Mainly because...Hmm, not something I usually write about in a public journal, but I've had enough Southern Comfort to bite the bullet and actually write about it.

It's been seven and half years since my dad passed away, and the holiday season has NOT become easier. For those who know me, you know how much my dad meant to me. For those who don't...

He was the one person in the world I truly wish I could be like. I'm working on a piece dedicated to him titled My Dad the Jedi: Ancestor Worship through a Pop-Culture Icon. Maybe I'll actually post it one day. We'll see.

It doesn't help that I see all my friends with family to visit and spend time with, but perhaps not in the way they think. It's not that I am jealous of their ability to still see their family, but more that I see them not appreciating that time in the way I wish I had. I mean, I hear my friends complain about family events or outings, and all I can think is about how I don't have that anymore, and most likely never will. My nearest family member is over 500 miles away, and barely knows me as it is.

Still, I can't be upset about it, I guess. In their shoes, I'd most likely feel the same way. When my dad was alive, I spent most of my time away from home, with my girlfriend at the time, or with my friends. It's only now that I truly realize just how much time I let go, and how much I've lost.

Oh, well. It's probably the booze talking, of that I'm pretty sure. I think the best way to deal with it is by writing, the same thing my father told me to do so many years ago.

I miss him. So, I will continue to write and post, if only because he'd want me to.

Wow, maybe I need to drink a little less before posting a journal entry. *G*

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6551488/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6551488/ Tue, 20 Sep 2005 02:23:37 PDT
Well, first off, I'm about four or five sections from finishing the first chapter of Childred. Once it's finished, I am most likely going to compile all the sections into one large piece titled Children of the Storm: The Growing Darkness. Keep an eye out for it folks!

In related matters, I will be doing something similar for each of my storylines as I finish major plot arcs. Also, once I do the first compilation for each story, I will also publish that storyline's "bible" as it were. Basically, information about the story, characters, and so forth. I'll make sure to avoid spoilers as best I can, but I figured it might be interesting for people to see where my ideas come from, and how I change things once the actual writing process happens.

Finally...I know I've mentioned my story Soldier's Lie before, and I keep trying to write something I can feel comfortable uploading to DA. However, I keep running into issues with it. Plot development seems weak, or a character doesn't mesh well in the way I want. That kind of thing. WE shall see what happens once I finished the first section of CotS.

And, if I'm real lucky, I'll finish the first chapter of CotS in time for to have some free time! (Well, I know it won't happen, dear girl, so don't worry too much. *G*)

And to ....I am very sorry I missed the show. I throw myself at your feet and beg for forgiveness and mercy, even though I am not worthy of such things.

Off to write now....

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6546842/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6546842/ Mon, 19 Sep 2005 15:05:14 PDT
At any rate, still working on Children stuff, going slow though. I'm trying not to stray too far from my intial outline, but it's kinda difficult, the characters take on a life of their own. But I'll keep hammering away until they do what I tell them to, damnit!

On a side note, my friend :iconlittelone816: just got her own DA page. Hopefully she'll be postinf some of her stuff in the future, so keep an eye on her! Lord knows I like keeping an eye on her....

AT any rate, gotta eat and then go to work. Later.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6512176/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6512176/ Thu, 15 Sep 2005 14:01:06 PDT
At any rate, 2 new pieces up, both for Children and Redemption. I should be starting the last sections of Chapter 1 for Children in the immediate future, we'll see what happens. Then, of course, comes chapter 2, where I really buckle down, and start writing the good stuff. *G* I can't wait.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6464414/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6464414/ Sat, 10 Sep 2005 02:28:03 PDT
Labor Day screwed everything up at work. For those who don't know, Mother's Day is the busiest flower holiday, and, for the last few days, it's been as bad if not worse than that holiday.

I put in 35+ hours in three days, 14 and a half hours in one day alone. If I wasn't salaried, I guess I'd be kinda happy about it. As it is, I'm just tired, angry, frustrated, and sore.

To top it off, my right hand has been hurting for a couple of weeks now, so I finally went to the doctor. I thought it was a strain, they said I may have a fracture in my hand. They won't know until the x-rays come back on monday. Great, I get to work with a broken hand. I love my life.

*sigh* Well, enough of the self-pity. On the plus side, I'm getting back in writing for Children and Redemption. Assuming my hand doesn't hurt too much, I'll be able to post some more stuff by the end of the weekend.

Sorry about the delay for the stories people have been reading. I had some personal issues to work through before I could start working on them again. Haven't dealt with THAT crap entirely yet, but enough to let my mind wander back to the stories I want to write.

Owie. I'm gonna go take some drugs for my hand now.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6428466/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6428466/ Tue, 06 Sep 2005 02:16:49 PDT
Been dealing with a few others issues, which has been reflected in some of my writing lately. A mixture of nostalgia, guilt, anger, etc...You know, the usual stuff you feel when you think about the really emotional moments of your past.

On the note, I am working on a few other pieces I'll be putting up soon, one of them probably tonight. Once I get it out of my system (Well, somewhat out), I'll get back to work on Children and the others. My head is a little too crowded to focus on the stories I really need to write.

Back to the smoking topic, my wife and all of my friends have been highly supportive. They only give me a slightly evil look when I snag a smoke from someone. *G* Seriously, they've been great, couldn't do this without them.

Especially her. *shrug* What can I say, I'm a pushover? (And you don't need to comment on that, either, Sayda!)

Well, off to writing...

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6402277/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6402277/ Sat, 03 Sep 2005 03:58:09 PDT
Still, it's only been two days, and I already feel better than have in a while. More energy and stuff. Probably psychological more than anything, but it feels better nonetheless.

Now, we'll see just how long this lasts. *growl* Sometimes I just wanna strangle certain people. Trying to quit smoking doesn't help with that....

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6375099/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6375099/ Wed, 31 Aug 2005 04:25:00 PDT Children and Redemption but it hasn't gone anywhere. Quite a bit on my mind these days, and it's not helping with the creative flow. I did post a new piece, and it's a bit more reflective of my mood lately.

Oh, and it's a little closer to home than I'd care to admit. *sigh* Sometime real life is just too good as insipiration.

On a happier note: Happy B-Day to ! I know it's a day late, but I've been a little pre-occupied, what with finding her a present and stuff. You made it through another year, girl! Way to go! *G*

Well, off to bed to sleep and maybe write some more after that.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6347758/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6347758/ Sun, 28 Aug 2005 03:16:56 PDT Ramblings. A little windy, I'll grant. But, hey, those who know me know I tend to just go on and on and on when I've been drinking.

*shrug* Spent a lot of my life being the good boy. By the time I was old enough to drink, I didn't think I really should. Guess now I know why. Still, I'll let you all read it. Comment at your leisure. I can deal with the consequences of my actions.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6334700/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6334700/ Fri, 26 Aug 2005 14:31:19 PDT
Thanks, sis. It means a lot.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6303646/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6303646/ Tue, 23 Aug 2005 05:03:08 PDT
Okay, Friday was bad enough, when a skid of flowers fell on me, and then I fell off a dock a little while later. Then, Saturday was longer than I ever wanted to be (Sorry, Sayda!), although it ended on a good note.

Is there a flower holiday that I don't know about coming up? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm all about people buying other people flowers. It's a good gesture, they're pretty, they smell good, and they get me a paycheck. But there are days I wish I had a tanker full of Agent Orange, a spray nozzle, and an hour alone with a field of roses....

However, that won't happen, and Agent Orange is really bad for you, so I guess I won't be doing that.

Problem is, because of work, I haven't had the creative energy to write (ARGH!). Add to that the excruciating pain work had put me in the last couple of days, and it's not shaping up well.

And then, tonight at work...I was pushing a skid of flowers into my truck, up hill, when my foot slipped in a small puddle of water left by a overturned bucket from earlier in the night. I slipped, the skid started to hurtle towards me, and I dove out of the way.

Right into the wall of the truck.

*sigh* Well, I get Wednesday off. Sort of. Maybe this run of bad luck will slow down or something. We'll see.

oh, and Children 1.10 should be up by Thursday, along with another Redemption. And (fingers crossed) I should be able to finally start posting Soldier's Lie on Saturday. Not a firm schedule, but I'll try to keep to it.

Now where did I put that Advil?

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6270854/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6270854/ Fri, 19 Aug 2005 12:40:51 PDT
Oh well. My wife is going to GenCon this weekend, but I have to work. *sigh* I'm jealous, and she said she'd not go I wanted, but I couldn't be like that. So, she's going to be gone all weekend, and I'm stuck at home alone.

Hope I don't burn the house down. *G* And, she did laundry today, 'cause she knows I'm pretty incompetent when it comes to home stuff. I can't wait for her to get back.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6244425/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6244425/ Tue, 16 Aug 2005 15:01:07 PDT Children piece finally. Let's see, I'm working on Children, Redemption, still working on the first few pieces for Soldier's Lie, and making rough drafts of stuff for . That along with editing, work, keeping my wife happy, food, and sleep, I've discovered I have no free time most the time. That's why my posting has slowed down from the initial glut. I needed to take some time for me, as I have so little of that most of the time. But I'm getting a shcedule worked out now. Should hopefully be posting a little more often, if not as often as I started with. We shall see.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6215997/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6215997/ Sat, 13 Aug 2005 11:52:50 PDT
But my internet wasn't working!

For 3 days I called and dealt with the tech support people (Who were actually real nice, and as helpful as they could be). FInally, my internet is working. But my e-mail address is now screwed up! *sigh*

Gotta call 'em again, I guess. When I have the energy...

Oh, well. Other news: My friend, Joel Gilbert, has graciously offered to help me edit my work, and we've already sat down and started doing so. I was happy with the pieces as they were, but, as we worked on some of them, I was amazed at how many changes he suggested that I agree with. Not just spelling and the like, but rearranging sentences and paragraphs. Actual honest-to-goodness editing stuff. I'll be posting the edited versions in the near future, and, hopefully, it'll be even better than before. We shall see.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6184745/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6184745/ Wed, 10 Aug 2005 03:52:24 PDT
I see I broke my habit of posting two to three pieces a day, and badly. No posts at all for almost four days...ack, I need to get back to work on this stuff.

Work has been rough for a few days. Ten hour days aren't so bad if I know they're going to happen ahead of time, but they suck when they happen out of the blue. If I wasn't a salaried employee, it wouldn't be so bad, I guess. But I'm not, so it is. However, I'm building up good credit with my boss, who DOES recognize my ability and sacrifices, unlike my last boss. I've been with this company for about six months, and I'm getting a pay raise already. And he does pay me extra when I work extra, so I guess it balances out.

I will be posting more on Children and Redemption very soon, just too freakin' tired to see the keyboard clearly. Well...maybe I'll post something today....*G*

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6150106/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6150106/ Sat, 06 Aug 2005 12:56:09 PDT
Nonetheless, I am still working on the next section of Children, hope to have it posted sometime soon. Now that've I introduced the important characters, it's time to start delving a little deeper. Should be interesting. I hope.

I will also begin posting another story starting on monday or tuesday titled Soldier's Lie. Sci-fi story I've been hacking at for years, but, due to one thing or another, I've never been happy with. We'll see where it goes now.

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6133507/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6133507/ Thu, 04 Aug 2005 15:01:13 PDT
For those of you who don't know, I drive a truck for a living. Pick up flowers from the airport and from suppliers, deliver 'em to wholesalers. Good job, for the most part. I work nights, get paid well, don't have to deal with Chicago traffice ('cause it's at night *G*), and I am a part of a process that, for the most part, brings happiness to people's lives. All in all, a good thing.

Except on Thursdays...ack.

Normally, I go to work at 7 pm, get done between 2 and 4 am, depending on the workload that night. Thursdays, I have to be at work no later than 8 AM, get done around 1-2 pm, and then be back at work at 8 pm that night for my regular night run.

Needless to say, I get a little tired on thursdays. But I still posted something! Whee! I think it's good. I need more sugar...

Better. Yipee!

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6123921/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6123921/ Wed, 03 Aug 2005 15:21:07 PDT
Well, my thanks to for his contribution in Children 1.4. It's always nice to have a character's creator tell me what they're thinking and saying.

After Children 1.5, I will be doing less POV shifiting. The story is centered mainly around Puck, and I will be focusing on that for the most part.

Not to say I won't keep doing the shift once in a while. Markhus, Terrance, Suma, and Steve (Who will appear in 1.5) are all important to both myself and to the story. And, of course, I still have to introduce friends, love-interests, and bad-guys. I can already hear now. "Too many bad guys." I'll try to avoid that this time, dude.

Also, for those of you reading my Redemption story, I will be posting more soon, but I'm trying to finish off the first few pieces of Children right now, so it might take a few days. I'll probably get more up by the weekend at the latest.

Oh, and a note to . Yes, I have this issue with women fainting it seems. I'll try to avoid that in the future....

]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6118734/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6118734/ Wed, 03 Aug 2005 01:57:26 PDT
But enough of that. I've noticed Children and Redemption are getting some positive feedback, which I appreciate. and both created characters in Children, as did a couple of other friends of mine. Children is the more important of the two projects, I'll admit, but I'm trying to keep my focus spread between all of the stuff I'm working on.

Quick note on how I title things. A Chapter isn't so much like a chapter in a book as it is like one in a comic. A specific plot arc that has a defined beginning and end, but allows for transition to the next arc. So, for those of us more novel oriented, my naming something Chapter 1.2 is more like Book 1, Chapter 2. I just find the chapter designation easier to manage while I organize my files. Minor quirk.

Oh, and thanks to for the plug. *G* You and keep making the pictures, I'll keep making the words. And when the two finally come together...Well, let's hope everyone else can deal with it. *G*

Back to my tortellinis...(I think I spelled that wrong....mmmm) ]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6112664/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6112664/ Tue, 02 Aug 2005 12:58:13 PDT
Seriously, (not to beat a dead horse) Thanks again to for telling me about DA. Before I set up my DA page, I'd write one or two pieces every three months. Now, I'm writing two or three pieces a DAY. Not all of it is good stuff, I'll grant, but there's a lot of it. A few gems may surface from the sewer of my mind once in a while.

Well, I'm off to write some more. Looks like my routine is two posts a day or so, we'll see if I can keep up with it. *G* ]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6108134/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6108134/ Tue, 02 Aug 2005 02:04:40 PDT for signing up with DA. Finally, a place for you as well, huh? *G* Seriously, he's a good guy, great game designer (that's table-top gaming for us old people *G*).

On a side note, I've discovered that when your AC in your apartment doesn't work right, computers become space heaters very quickly. I think I'm gonna die from dehydration. But that won't keep me from posting! Well, maybe a little.

Mmm...back to the pot pie.... ]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6101985/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6101985/ Mon, 01 Aug 2005 14:10:18 PDT for the shameless plug she gave me. Hugs and rubs, girl! Secondly, thanks to all the people who've welcomed me. Whether or not you people end up liking my writing, it's still kinda cool to have people just say "Welcome to the neighborhood" with such enthusiasm. It gives me that little bit of confidence I need to keep posting. *G* Well, I would have posted anyway, but at least now I can bask in the illusion of people liking what I have to say.

Okay, enough belittling myself. I've got three major stories I will be working on here for the most part. The first is a fantasy setting, titled Redemption. About a young woman named Sara thrust into a life she never expected, doesn't want, but is forced to live. Betrayal and honor and love, all on a deeply personal level. There will be magic, swords, and the like, and, of course, dragons. (If only for you, Sayda! *G*)

The second story is a 3 parter, the first part being called Soldier's Lie. A sci-fi story, it's more epic in scale thatn Redepmtion, revolving less around character interaction and more into plot development. Space battles, ground battles, political intrigue, and overall coolness. Sorry, no dragons in this one. (well, maybe a little one. *G*)

The final piece is tentatively titled Children of the Storm. It's a collabrative (I think I spelled that wrong) piece I'm working on, sort of mix of comic script, snippets of scenes, and prose. Maybe some poetry here and there. Modern day fantasy, and yes, one big whopping dragon at one point. (notice a theme here?)

Of course, I will also post the occasional one-shot piece, be it poetry, short story, or what-not. So, I hope you all enjoy, and I'll keep writing. (Well, I'll keep writing even if some don't enjoy, that's the secret to being a writer, I guess. *G*)

Oh, and Sayda? Thanks again to you and One-vox, you guys are great. Can't forget ScarletHawk, and...Well, you've all been awesome. Thanks, guys. ]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6096774/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6096774/ Mon, 01 Aug 2005 03:15:57 PDT Redemption back up, this time with a little more style and polish, I hope. We shall see where it goes. ]]> ~shadowspleen http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6084593/ http://shadowspleen.deviantart.com/journal/6084593/ Sun, 31 Jul 2005 03:05:18 PDT told me that DA isn't just for artists of the visual type, much to my chagrin. If I'd know writers and others also used it, I'd have signed up a long time ago.

Well, live and learn. ]]> ~shadowspleen