http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:shanadian&section=today deviantART RSS for by:shanadian en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 15:16:23 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/28310812/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/28310812/ Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:47:15 PST
Not that I know of, though. I'm in a pretty good mood overall. My life is good. I've almost caught up on my schoolwork, and my boyfriend loves me and I love him. Guys and Dolls will be showing in exactly a week and I shall be General Cartwright and be all cool. ^_^

I want some pizza...

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/27551408/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/27551408/ Tue, 24 Nov 2009 05:23:31 PST
2) For each of the 10 (or maybe not) first people answering this journal I will put his/her avatar and the three deviations I like most from his/her gallery on the list.

3) If you answer, you'll have to do the same in your journal, putting me on the first place, completing this way the list with 10 people. The idea of this is not to get a free feature, it is to spread art around for everyone!

1. [link] [link] [link]
2. [link] [link] [link]
3. [link] [link] [link]
4. [link] [link] [link]
5. [link] [link] [link]
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/27463313/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/27463313/ Mon, 28 Sep 2009 08:07:02 PDT
In other news, life is good except for little things that are just kind of... meh. Little stressors that are adding up. Like one plus one plus one and so on and so forth.

I saw a Facebook conversation between my eldest sister and my eldest brother. They are trying to figure out why my other sister and I are so obsessed with Bowie. How amusing.

My boyfriend and I cuddled all during the pep rally last Friday. I enjoyed just talking to him which is why I think we'll be together a long time.
I told my mom that I believe that it's a possibility we might stay together and get married someday which is something he has hinted at before.
Whoever my man marries, whether it's me or someone else, it will be a fantastic marriage that will last and he will be the best husband and father ever.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/27248960/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/27248960/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:54:48 PDT
[link]

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/27137939/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/27137939/ Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:52:49 PDT The bitchy librarian, all she said to me was, "Are you okay?" while she suspended my boyfriend from the library for three days or something.

WTF.
Sexist bitch. I'm the one who suggested spooning even if my boyfriend is the one who started cuddling. We were sitting on the floor enjoying each other's company.

...Okay, that sounded worse than it was.

At any rate, I find it unfair that I got no punishment besides being incredibly embarrassed while he got his library privileges taken away.
I mean, I never go in the library so there wouldn't have been a point in suspending my "privileges" but... still, what happened to 50/50 in a relationship?
Sure I'm glad I didn't get in any serious trouble, but I still think that woman is a sexist bitch who just ASSUMED that my boyfriend was being coercive and I was a victim.

I didn't speak up because I'm incredibly shy and I felt like I should try to steer clear of my boyfriend for half an hour or something. Plus my face was probably already red so I can't imagine what color it would have turned if I had gotten in trouble since that's what I essentially would have been asking for.

I already didn't like that lady much but now I have reason to hate her...

In other news, I am incredibly happy with my boyfriend and I love him and he loves me and he is soooooo nice to me. He carried my super heavy backpack for me today. ^_^ He is sooooooo nice. He makes me bite his neck. -giggles like a pathetic little girl-

And maybe my mum will let me take him to the dance in a week. It would be really nice but I kind of doubt that it will happen. :/ I want him to come over my house so we can play video games and cuddle on the couch and we will teach each other how the ---- to kiss since neither of us really knows much about it.

We are so awesome together, just as friends.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/27014506/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/27014506/ Fri, 04 Sep 2009 12:27:52 PDT
I'm going to do "living with you" since that's what I'm assuming.

[x] Mother
[] Father
[ ] Step-Father
[ ] Step-Mother
[ ] Step Sister
[ ] Step Brother
[x] Brother
[ ] Brother In Law
[xx] Sister
[ ] Sister In Law
[ ] Half sister
[ ] Half brother
[ ] Nephew
[ ] Niece
[ ] Boyfriend/Girlfriend
[x] Mobile phone
[ ] Own bathroom
[x/2] Own room (I half own a room...)
[ ] Have/had a swimming pool
[ ] Have/had a hot tub
[ ] Guest room
[x] Living Room
[x] Own computer
[ ] Own TV
Total: 8

[x] Full size/Queen bed
[ ] More than 8 pairs of shoes
[ ] MP3 Player/iPod
[ ] PS2/3
[x] Nintendo DS or PSP
[ ] Gameboy/Advance
[x] Gamecube
[ ] xbox/xbox 360
[x] Wii
[x] Your Own Laptop
Total so far: 13

[ ] Basketball net/hoop
[ ] Air hockey table
[ ] Pool table
[ ] Ping pong table
[ ] Foosball table
Total so far: 13

[ ] Night stand
[ ] Stereo in bedroom
[ ] DVD player in bedroom/portable
Total so far: 13

[ ] Go shopping at least once a week
[ ] Expensive cologne/perfume
[x] AIM/MSN
[x] camera on phone
Total so far: 15

[ ] Go Cart/car/quad
[ ] Guitar/drums/bass guitar
[x] Piano/Keyboard
[ ] Any other instrument
[ ] Been on a cruise
[ ] Traveled out of the country
[ ] Traveled out of the continent
[ ] Had a personal trainer
[ ] Expensive jewelery
[ ] Met a Celeb
Total so far: 16

[x] Straightener/curling iron
[ ] Have been to a batting cage
[ ] Have $100 on you right now in your pocket/wallet
[ ] Credit card or ATM card or debit card or bank card
[ ] Have a TV in your room
[ ] Mirror in your room
Total so far: 17

[x] Window in your room
[ ] Been to Paris
[ ] Been to Rome
[ ] Been to the Bahamas
[ ] Been to Mexico
[ ] Been to Jamaica
Total so far: 18

[x] Parents have a car
[ ] Have owned or own a Jet ski/boat
[ ] Had/have camped
[x] Been to 3+ states (provinces...?)
[x] 80+ buddies on facebook/myspace
Total so far: 21

[ ] Home cooked meal almost everyday
[ ] Been in a limo
[ ] Been in a helicopter
[ ] Own a camera
[ ] Have been to Disneyland/World more than 2 times

Grand total: 21

Post as:
1-25 = ghettoooo! (and tag 5 people)
26-40 = Average Teen! (and tag 10 people)
41-50 = Spoiled Teen! (and tag 15 people)
51+ = Upper Class Snob! (and tag 20 people)

I tag Lena, Matt (if he exists anymore... ), and Molly.

And here's another thing I stole, this time from Lena. -huggles-

○● B R I T I S H ○●

[x] You drink a lot of tea.
[x] You know what a brolly is.
[x] Deal or No Deal has taken over your life. (it did once)
[] You wanted Ben to win Factor.
[] You use the word "bugger" or the phrase "bloody hell."
[] Fish and Chips are yummy.
[] You can eat a Full English Breakfast.
[] You dislike emos almost as much as you dislike chavs.
[x] It's football... not soccer.

Total: 4


○● A U S T R A L I A N ○●

[] You wear flip flops all year.
[] You call flip flops "thongs", not flip flops.
[] You love a backyard Barbie.
[] You know a Barbie is not a doll.
[] You love the beach.
[] Sometimes you swear without realizing.
[] You're a sports fanatic
[] You are tanned.
[] You're a bit of a bogan.
[] You have an Australian something. (I used to have an australian chicken-AUSTRALORPS!)

Total: 0


○● I T A L I A N ○●

[] The Sopranos is a great show.
[x] Your last name ends in a vowel.
[x] Your grandmother makes her own sauces.
[] You know how a real meatball tastes.
[] You know Italian songs.
[] You have dark hair and dark eye color. (Red isn't my natural hair color XD)
[] You speak some Italian.
[x] You are under 5'10".
[] You know what an Italian horn is.
[x] Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world!
[] You talk a lot with your hands.

Total: 4


○● S P A N I S H ○●

[x] You say member instead of Remember.
[] You speak Spanish or some.
[x] You like tacos.
[] YoU TyPe lIkE ThIs On Da CoMpUtEr.
[] You are dark skinned.
[] You know what a Puta is.
[] You talk fast occasionally.
[] You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.
[] You know what platanos are.

Total: 2


○● R U S S I A N ○● ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/26368757/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/26368757/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 21:24:36 PDT

[x?] You have screamed at an inanimate object for “hurting” you.
[ ] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[ ] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, and then people gave you weird looks.
[x] You have ran into a tree/bush.
[x] You have been called a blond
TOTAL: 4

[x] you know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[x] You just tried to lick your elbow
[ ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same melody
[x] You just sang them to make sure
[x] You have tripped on your own feet and fallen.
[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] You have choked on your own spit.
TOTAL: 8

[x] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it
[ ] You type with three fingers or less.
[ ] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose
[xxxxx] You have caught yourself drooling.
TOTAL: 10

[x] You have fallen asleep in class.
[ ] Sometimes you just stop thinking
[xxx] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you are talking about
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[ ] You are often told to use your ‘inside voice’.
TOTAL: 12

[x] You use your fingers to do simple math
[ ] You have eaten a bug accidentally
[sleeping] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important
[ ] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it.
[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time
TOTAL: 14

[ ] You have posted bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen if you don’t.
[ ] You break a lot of things.
[x] You tilt your head when you’re confused.
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before.
[ ] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling
[xxxxx] The word “um” is used frequently.
[ ] You don’t know what “um” means
[x] You say “what” and “huh” a lot.
[ ] You plan to use a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin

TOTAL: 18

NOW, take all of your totals, add them together, and multiply by 4.

Then re-post as: "I am --% Mentally ill."

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/25963356/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/25963356/ Wed, 15 Jul 2009 12:16:49 PDT
I have dreamt of having a little Silver Penciled Rock chick named Rocco since last November. And now I have a little still-fluffy chick that fits that description and he likes me.

My laptop battery died and I hope the replacement comes soon because I cannot stand this.
Although to be honest, it's more fun to play Freecell on this computer... :/

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/25777496/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/25777496/ Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:23:11 PDT
Today I cleaned out the box that I'm keeping my 26 chicks in, and underneath the newspaper there was WHOLE FREAKING COLONY OF ANTS.

Well, not a colony in the sense of thousands of ants living somewhere with a queen ant, but colonies like the American colonies before the Revolutionary War. Little settlements.

No wonder ants keep popping up in my room. Pfft... I need to get something that will kill or discourage ants but have no ill effect whatsoever on baby chickens (or me...).

Mint does help keep them away, but I'm too lazy to walk sixty feet away from my house to pick some. And whenever I'm outside I forget. -facepalm-

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/25572695/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/25572695/ Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:44:16 PDT
Man, we've lost the King of Rock, and now the King of Pop.

What King are we gonna lose next?

[link]



]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/25522308/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/25522308/ Wed, 24 Jun 2009 16:47:32 PDT
I have 3 people in the whole universe that I KNOW I trust. One of them is scared to call me (that's okay, ILU and I would be to), another I can't even remember whether to call him a boy or a girl, and the third need SHOULD not be trusted because he's worth so much more than that.

I just realized that of my three real friends, half of them are boys.

Man, having transsexual friends is awesome.

If I want to be all technical, respecting my transsexual friend, 2/3rds of my best friends are boys...

Well, that's cool.

School's over, they 'eight' key on my keyboard is broken off so I have to press directly on it to get 8 or *. It's a major pain and feels weird... plus I imagine I run a risk of electricution...
I'll be working on my novel this summer... and I still think there's a chance in hell that I can get it published before I turn 16, although the chances are getting slimmer and slimmer... Still, our family has been lucky (it must be the Irish in us!) so maybe...

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/25143008/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/25143008/ Fri, 05 Jun 2009 12:32:37 PDT

Centaur:
[ ] You are rather wild, and let your instincts run you.
[ ] You get drunk a lot.
[ ] Bravery and boldness is second nature to you.
[ ] You have a deep love for astronomy and the universe.
[x] You like to read your daily horoscope.
[x] You have a high level of pride in yourself.
[ ] In the woods is the best place for you to be.
[ ] You are spiritual.
[ ] The horse is your favorite animal.
[x] You are possessive and territorial.
Total: 3


Elf:
[ ] Your ears are slightly pointed at the tips (be honest).
[x] You are very intelligent.
[ ] Your five senses are extremely keen.
[ ] Your weight is quite a bit lighter than the average person at your particular height.
[ ] You always wear elegant clothes and speak as politely as possible.
[ ] You are most at peace when you are gazing at something beautiful, like nature.
[ ] You look very young for your age.
[ ] You rarely get sick.
[ ] You are a very hard worker.
[x] Above all other superpowers, you would love to read minds or see the future.
Total: 2

Fairy:
[ ] You are happy a lot of the time.
[ ] The best superpower to you would be to fly.
[x] You are very shy.
[ ] You love the forest and plant life in general.
[ ] You are always willing to help others, even if you might not be the best to offer aid.
[ ] You are young and short.
[ ] Dancing is one of your favorite pastimes.
[ ] If someone ticks you off, you are very clever with getting them back.
[ ] Your clothing isn't always presentable, but you are comfortable with what you wear.
[x] Circles are a wonderful symbol of unity to you.
Total: 2

Gnome/Dwarf:
[ ] You are excellent with crafts and handiwork.
[x] In social situations, you tend to be a little awkward.
[ ] You are short for your age.
[x] You are an isolationist.
[x] You love to play practical jokes on people.
[ ] You are extremely fascinated with jewelry.
[ ] You look older than your age.
[ ] You love the woods and the mountains.
[ ] You are well off, or come from a family that is well off.
[ ] You have a short temper.
Total: 3

Harpy/Siren:
[ ] You are best at talking bad about people behind their backs and not to their face.
[ ] When you are annoyed, you will go to a great extent to torment whoever did so to you.
[ ] You often take things that aren't yours.
[ ] You are easily angered.
[ ] Death fascinates you.
[x] You are female, or a feminine-looking man.
[ ] You associate yourself with the wind element.
[x] You can switch quickly between your light and dark side.
[ ] You love to trick others.
[x] You have a ravenous appetite.
Total: 3


Mermaid/Merman:
[ ] You love the beach more so because of the water than the shore itself.
[ ] Fish are some of the most beautiful creatures to you.
[ ] The ultimate superpower to you would be to breathe underwater.
[ ] You enjoy looking at ships, but not riding them, as well as you like ships for traveling, not hunting in the sea.
[ ] You are good at swimming.
[ ] You like to collect shells.
[ ] You use sea items as jewelry or decoration.
[ ] You enjoy learning about the ocean and the life inside it.
[x] You are extremely against ocean pollution, and someday, perhaps (if you haven't already), you will work to stop that.
[x] Legs on land are not as important as a fin in the sea.
Total: 2

Vampire:
[x] You're a night person.
[x] You have a fascination with blood.
[x] You are extremely pale.
[ ] You wish you had a bat as a pet.
[ ] You are not religious at all.
[x] Tight spaces are not scary or uncomfortable for you.
[x] The sun's glare annoys you all too often.
[ ] You hate food with lots of garlic in it.
[x] To you, a kiss on the neck is more romantic than a kiss on the cheek or lips.
[x] You don't like sharp objects near you.
Total: 7


Werewolf:
[ ] The full moon is the most beautiful scene to you.
[ ] You have a lot of body hair.
[ ] The ability to shapeshift is the best superpower to you.
[x] You prefer gold over silver items.
[ ] You lack self control.
[ ] You find it easier to have sympathy for animals than for humans.
[ ] You have a deep respect for wolves and wild dogs.
[x] You like to be alone.
[x] You have a terrible secret and you only tell people you trust 100% about it.
[ ] You'd rather be outdoors than indoors.
Total: 3

Wizard/Witch:
[ ] You love chemistry.
[x] You are intuitive and good at analyzing people, to th... ]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/25090407/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/25090407/ Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:32:32 PDT Although nothing interesting is going on that they don't know about.

However I do have some harsh words for them which they and you can read at [link]

In other news...
I will be honest and say that I hate photo-manipulation. When you take some photos and put them together... I'll be honest and say that I hate the idea. It makes beautiful images that look perfect--too perfect. It's beautiful, but it doesn't represent skill with the brush. The paintbrush is, like, the basis for all art. From cave paintings to the Mona Lisa to the beautiful paintings of Elizabeth Vigée-LeBrun, paint and paint brushes are the original "thing."
I find photo-manip beautiful, but not true. Unfortunately that doesn't really work according to John Keats, but I'll still hold the opinion that photo-manip is beautiful and does require SOME skill and practice, but it can't compare to real painting and I'm sick to death of seeing it.

My art-angst quota has been fulfilled for the year decade. I do like art and I don't really have anything to say about it except for being all like and then being irritated about photo-manip.

And if you disagree with me about photo-manip, feel free to express your opinion politely.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24925158/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24925158/ Tue, 26 May 2009 19:45:28 PDT
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME (fave ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Vanilla Sneaker

3. YOUR NATIVE AMERICAN NAME (favorite color, favorite animal): Blue Chicken

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, city where you were born): Elizabeth Worcester

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name]: Caish is actually what I should have put... That's better than Shaca (reminds me of the Unas).

6. SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Red Cocoa (YUSH AWESOME!)

7. NASCAR NAME (the first names of your grandfathers): Arthur Dominic or Dominic Arthur

8. STRIPPER NAME (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Mint Chocolate

10. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): (I didn't have a fifth grade teacher, so I'll use sixth grade) Nichols Naples or Gilman Glasgow

11. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower): Spring Violet

12. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Apple Jeans

13. HIPPIE NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Scrambled Eggs Oak
(let's make that Eggs Oak for short)

LOL Very fun. I tag EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE. Well... everyone who sees this.

AND OH MY GOD THERE /IS/ such thing as Another Brick in the Wall Part 1!! YUSH!!
<3 to the world.
And look at my blog for angst and anger at society.
[link]

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24812273/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24812273/ Sun, 17 May 2009 20:01:35 PDT [link]

The family tree of Linda's Chronicles!

There are a total of 717 people on the tree, but I could only upload 250 for free, but you have all of the important people. And more, actually.

And remember, if you want more opinionated and emotional things, you can go here: [link]

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24757567/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24757567/ Thu, 14 May 2009 16:52:49 PDT
[link]

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24724731/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24724731/ Tue, 12 May 2009 16:58:27 PDT
He just flew to the top of my laptop... And successfully opened it to an obtuse angle!!!

Man, I'd give big bucks for my sister's webcam to work right now.
I love Falcor. Even if my rug is hell because of him and his "sister" Little Red.

I'm tired.
And feeling a little depressed. It's been almost exactly a year since the last time I cut myself.
It was the Sunday right before I went to Westwood Lodge.

I got really angry because my mom and sister were fighting and to get back at them, I went into the bathroom and grabbed my razor and slashed one cut and then put it back. One of the only times I ever cut dry... if not the only time. I always cut in the shower or at least after icing...

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24649047/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24649047/ Fri, 08 May 2009 09:51:23 PDT
It's a nice day, I'm feeling pretty good, I don't have any major things going on, I'm going to counseling later today to tell my mom that I have had a boyfriend for 43 days without her knowing, and that I want him to come over to my house. To play video games.

Counseling might be either great or absolutely horrible today.
What would really suck is if everything went totally wrong so that I got upset and was emo FOR ANOTHER WEEK. I was JUST feeling better today after being in a little two-week rut.

Well, things are peaceful.

Those who have Facebooks... Should tell me so that I can A: be friends with them and B: invite them into Falcor the Chicken.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24605715/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24605715/ Tue, 05 May 2009 17:12:36 PDT
[link]

The URL kinda... um, well, if she was someone that websurfed, she might possibly find that, but I doubt it.

In other news, I has a Facebook and I also has made a club. In the off chance that LenAwesome has a facebook...

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24545051/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24545051/ Sat, 02 May 2009 16:22:09 PDT [] Brown - $100
[-] Blonde - $50
[] Black - $15
[] Bald - $5
[] Other-$75

Total: $50


Eye Color:
[] Brown - $50
[-] Green - $75
[] Blue $150
[] Hazel $100
[] Other - $15

Total so far: $125


Height:
[] Over 7′ - $200
[] 6′8″ to 7′ - $175
[] 6′0″ to 6′7″ - $150
[] 5′5″ to 5′11″ - $75
[] 5′4″ to 5′10″ - $85
[-] Under 5′4 - $27

Total so far: $152


Age:
[] 50 to 56 - $175
[] 46 to 50 - $150
[] 41 to 45 - $125
[] 31 to 40 - $100
[] 26 to 30 - $75
[] 21 to 25 - $50
[] 19 to 20 - $25
[-] 0 to 18 - $100

Total so far: $252


Birth Order:

[] Twins or more than twins - $750
[] First Born - $320
[] Only Child - $250
[] second born - $150
[] Middle child - $100
[] Last Born - $100
[] third born - $550
[] fourth born - $300
[-] fifth born - $400
[] sixth born -$215

Total so far: $652

Drink?
[-] I did like twice - $400
[] Only Holidays - $250
[] Sometimes - $215
[] YES - $200
[] only weekends - $300
[] Every other day - $50
[] Once a day - $15
[] I live from the bottle - $Bankrupt$
[] No - $600

Total so far: $1052


Vision?
[] perfect vision $400
[]need or have glasses/ contacts but dont wear them $200
[] No correction $100
[-] Glasses $50
[] contacts $25
[] Surgical correction -$100

Total so far: $1102

Shoe Size:
[] 13+ - $300
[] 12 and a half to 13 - $250
[] 11 to 12 - $400
[-] 7 to 10 - $500
[] Under 7- $450

Total so far: $1602


Favorite Colors (two):
[] Green-$750
[] Red - $600
[] Black - $100
[] Yellow -$475
[] Brown - $300
[] Purple - $225
[] White - $400
[] Aqua - $350
[] Orange - $300
[-] Blue - $300
[] Pink - $100
[] Other - $500

Total: $1902


Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[] Yes $0
[-] Nope - $1000
[] some- $750

Final Total: $2902

title this "I cost ______ a night" in your own journal.
I tag . ^_^

On other news... yeah, I has a lovely blog. [link]
It's CONTROVERSIAL.

EDIT:

I have almost 4000 pageviews. This is crazy!

And my sister, who is without doubt a far better and far more popular artist than I, has only 3200. I is proud.

I gotta think of a really good piece of artwork for 4000 pageviews.

I might try my Phoenix of Autumn idea I had, like, a year ago...

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24357123/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24357123/ Tue, 21 Apr 2009 09:01:51 PDT
I shall compare that one to this one and review what's happened in the past year.

Read.
[link]

Goodness, what I was talking about with the "I don't know where I'll be going" and "it has to do with Law", that was the day that my CHINS was filed. Yeah... And it's a year later and that CHINS is now ending in June.
And when I was talking about going to school then, I only went for two days. :/

"A female Mini Rex," LOL As if! I have my MALE Netherland Dwarf who I loves and is adorable and likes me. He's three years old now, about.

And Linda's Chronicles... unless I get my act together, it won't be published BEFORE I'm sixteen, but I might get it in before I'm 17...
Holy /champignons/, I've been working on my story for four and a half years!

How awesome.
Draft 4 will NOT be the last. What I'm working on now is Draft 4, and although I'm planning it to be the last, who knows?
All I know is that once I FINISH the story and I'm happy with it, THEN I'll have one more draft in which I make sure that there is continuity and the proper holidays are celebrated/observed/mentioned.

And, one difference from last year...
I HAVE CHICKENS.
I have eight now, but this time last year we had ONE.
Bucky... good old Bucky is 6 years old today.
We got the chicks when they were two days old, and we got 'em on April 23 2003, so she has my birthday.
And my baby chickens...
Rex, 'Red', Marfa, (Princess) Peach, and Danielle are all 66 days old today, and 'Little Red' and Falcor are 53 days old.
Yes, I keep track.
And there is something else that is 26 days old~~
And someone who is 17 years old and one month EXACTLY today.

Well... not sure what else to say.

'Allo, FIFTEEN.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24321026/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24321026/ Sun, 19 Apr 2009 13:22:42 PDT thoughtfully provided me with this. <3

TYPE YOUR FIRST NAME WITH YOUR...

1.FINGERS: Shannon
2.CHIN: sxhnan n bon
3.ONE FINGER, EYES CLOSED: afaksmmon
4.ELBOW: shannon
5.NOSE: swyqhjhj90hj
6.PALM: shannon


1.) List Four fandoms you have.
Star Trek
Stargate
Doctor Who
Heroes

2.) Have you ever slept in the back of a car?
I'm guessing that long drives to my school from a city 45 minutes away at 6:30 don't count, so no.

3.) Have you recently dyed your hair/cut it?
Does trimming my bangs count??? I trimmed those the other week...

4.) List four people that you look up to the most.
Stephen
Lena
my counselor
my sister Jennifer

5.) How many pets do you own as of now?
Well, there's Leonard, my bunny... Then there's Rex, 'Red,' Marfa, Princess Peach (Peach for short), and Danielle. And also 'Little Red' and Falcor. And I can't forget Bucky.
All of the afore mentioned with the exception of Leonard are chickens.

6.) Which do you prefer white or black?
Hmm... white.

7.) Who is your most played character?
Link. I play Zelda, little else. Even when I play Smash Brothers I am Link.

8.) Choose one or the other, not both:
The other.

9.) Name three aspects that tell who you are.
Smart
Fascinating
Different

10.) If you could have a power what would it be?
...The power to... write well.

11.) Who was the last person you talked to?
Lena... unless you're counting real life... Then... um... gosh, I don't know. Either my mom or my sister Diana.

12.) Who was the last person you said "I love you" to?
My boyfriend, most likely.

13.) Write down the first five words that pop into your mind:
poo, silly, weird, eat, blah
(I'm not kidding! Those are the words that popped into my mind when I tried to think of words!)

14.) What's one thing you wish you could do better?
Writing... I want to be able to write well enough so that the critics who hate Twilight and Eragon say, "Hey, this person isn't terrible."

15.) Do you like the way you are?
For the most part...
Damn, Caleb, how are you so skilled as to be able to figure out my EXACT INSECURITIES and tell me that you like them??? IT'S FREAKY!!

16.) Choose, Summer or Winter:
Summer. You can wear less.

17.) Choose, Rain or snow:
Snow.

18.) Water or ice?
Water.

19.) List two odd things about yourself:
I am building a chicken coop... yet I'm not even in the carpentry program at my high school, which I could be.
I get addicted to 95% of all television shows that I see more than five episodes of. The other 5% I just get really interested and I read about it on Wikipedia.

EDIT:

THE WORLD CAN NOW BE HAPPY!!

KNOW WHY??

MY LAPTOP HAS INTERNET!!!

The only problem is that, well, my keyboard broke yesterday.
Well, not so much broke as just... decided to have a problem.
My x key has issues.
I had to press it 18 times to get it to put an x on the screen. Sometimes it works, but I have to press the key two or three times to get it to work now...
But I'll pay that price for internet back on my computer any day!

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24313014/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24313014/ Sat, 18 Apr 2009 18:24:25 PDT
I bought some lumber.

OMG I actually am going to build the chicken coop this week.
I bought a hammer and nails and a saw and a "speedsquare" and wood and four cement blocks that I will put the floor-thing on...
Me likes myself because of this.

And I read this wonderful article on a certain Mr. Z at my high school who teaches people to drive.
WHY IS HE SO SKETCHY???

I kind of wish that I hadn't heard the infamous underground story of the kid who caught Mr. Z... err, kids from my school know what.
It's kind of sad, but I have yet to find someone who actually believes the official report: The kid was lying.
All of the people I know believe in the Legend Of What Happened 5 Years Ago.
I am deeply scared of most male teachers.
However, I do not fear my math teacher, which is weird 'cause he's probably the most likely...

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24206258/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24206258/ Sun, 12 Apr 2009 17:27:42 PDT
Screw him!!!

I was watching Heroes (which he got me into) and I saw Zachary Quinto topless and I lost it... Oh my gosh, Caleb, I'm sorry.

...I love ZQ now... I DON'T WANNA HAVE HAVE ANOTHER CRUSH ON SOME HOT MOVIE STAR!

So once again, SCREW MY BROTHER.

Hey... this is the third time this happened!

Michael Shanks with Stargate is my sister's fault because my brother got her into it (so it's his fault), David Tennant with Doctor Who, and now THIS.

Oh omigosh I love Zachary Quinto~~~ *hugs him*

My boyfriend either needs to have a crush on Zachary Quinto too or BECOME him.
...I want a boyfriend who likes Zachary Quinto.
Then we can be witchy with each other about it.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24196001/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24196001/ Sun, 12 Apr 2009 07:35:41 PDT
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.
----------------------------------
10 Sentence Meme.
Guess Who I'm Talking To!

1. You are NOT Megan.

2. Yoda told me that I will not have sex with you in June... I was happy. And so is number 1.

3. Gar! If you're my father, I'm running away from home!

4. Me looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooves youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~~

5. Apparently, where you come from is NOT called Down Under.

6. Get your mind into the gutter, man!

7. You are the skinniest marshmallow I have ever seen. -_-

8. WHY DID IT HAPPEN??? (if you get this one, you will get major happiness and possibly prize)

9. Go to college. Don't be Dominic.

10. I had a weird dream last night and in it, someone was telling me some juicy gossip about you and your... err, girlfriend? Save money so that once you get married you can move out. Oh yeah, and if you move out within this year, I will let you take your Wii without complaint.

Guess guess guess!
There is no chance in heck of anyone getting all of these... but if you get 8, I do think I'll draw something for you...

IN OTHER NEWS:

I drew a picture a few days ago and I will upload it. Soon...
I'm finally, like, really working on my story again. The good news is that I think this draft will be the last...
I has cute little chickens. Very cute little chickens... Falcor is the BEST. This is an image of what he looks like now (it's not HIM, but it's close, P.S. it's the white one) [link] this is what he's gonna look like pretty soon [link] and THESE are what he'll look like when he's bigger: [link] [link] Maybe with more gray/blue and less buff, though...

P.S. Barry Gibbs ----> ALL
(He's my favorite Bee Gee)

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24186831/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24186831/ Sat, 11 Apr 2009 17:32:36 PDT
01. What is your pen name?
Elizabeth Anne Radcliffe

02. What made you choose this name?
Elizabeth because it's my favorite name and it's my middle name and I like to use it, Anne because an A in the middle of a name sounds better. Elizabeth Radcliffe or Elizabeth A. Radcliffe?
Radcliffe was just chosen sorta randomly.

03. Do you use PC or Mac?
...Err, PC?

04. What programs do you use most often?
My brain... occasionally the GIMP.

05. Do you use mouse, or tablet?
I don't know what a tablet is!! *sobs*

06. What color or color combinations do you find yourself using most often?
...Blue... blue and gold. And red and gold... Gold...

07. What part of a picture do you put most effort into?
Clothes. I love drawing clothes.

08. How long does it take you do draw a picture?
Meh, an hour. Unless I'm drawing something simple, like one of my trademark horses. That's like, 5 minutes.

09. Do you keep your rough drafts?
I don't have rough drafts. Rough drafts = WiPs

10. What font do you use most often?
Times New Roman...
Although I love-love-love Old English Font... Damn openoffice doesn't have it.

11. When you scan your image, what DPI do you use?
... I assume you're asking what Depression Pills Illegal I use?
Well, my friend has been pressuring me...

12. Do you do anything else when you're drawing?
Pick my lips. Bleh, I'm stopping that. And my nails... And...
Yeah, that's it. I would eat, but I'm not skilled enough to eat and draw.

13. Approximately how many pictures do you draw in a month?
It varies from zero to, like, eight.

14. What kind of paper do you draw your pictures on?
Notebook paper. That happy 8 by 11 lined paper that people don't like because you can't get rid of them lines.
What would be great would be if someone could invent lined paper that you could, like... turn the lines off after you finish drawing.

15. What kind of paper do you use for rough sketches and drafts?
See above.

16. How long does it take you to ink something?
I've only inked things once or twice... but not too long.

17. Do you do comics, or fan comics?
Nope.

18. Do you like comics? Are they fun to make?
I do Chicken Lady and Scullery Man...
Chicken Lady Delayed Season 2 ought to come about sometime soon...
And possibly in color!!

19. Have you ever submitted anything to a magazine?
No.

20. ZERE IS NO QVESTION TVENTY! YOU SAW NOSING!
Witch.

21. Who are your favorite artists?
Gorden Napier -----> all

22. Do you like anime/manga? If so, what are your favorite series?
...My friends are going to be getting me into Deathnote.

23. Do you like cartoons/comics? If so, what are your favorite series?
...Err, if you mean Zits and the Sunday Funnies, sure. Those are good.

24. Any artists that you wish you could draw like?
Leave it at... GN, my sister z-Lo, and... yeah, that's that for now.
Let's also put it at, you know, like Leonardo Da Vinci, Michaelangelo, and I think there's some other guy...

25. Do you read a lot of books?
Heck yes.

26. Did you ever buy a book to inspire or teach you to draw?
No... Books inspire me AFTER I buy them. ^_^

27. Any video games you enjoy?
Zelda... The Sims 2, Harvest Moon occasionally, Nintendogs rarely, and ASTEROIDS.
Asteroids pwns.

28. Any favorite characters from video games?
The Red Ghost in Pacman, Link in Zelda, Midna from TP (omg I love the sexual tension!)... And the little rocket ship in ASTEROIDS.

Hey, I do!

29. Do you have a favorite writer?
Christopher Paolini will be good someday and I will be able to say that I believed in him when everyone else thought he was crap (he is right now, but he'll improve).

30. Any books you really enjoy?
The Inheritance Cycle, nowadays...
1984... Steinbeck books...
Harriet the Spy is the absolute favorite of mine. How else could I reread it, like, every month without getting tired of it?

31. Do you draw fanart?
Almost never, if ever.

32. Do you listen to music while you draw?
Only if it's on the computer.

33. Any... ]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24096184/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/24096184/ Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:25:14 PDT
I have internet back.
Right now, we're having a little trouble getting it to all of the computers in the house, so at this point the story is that we have 1 computer with internet for 5 people who use it.

I have not had internet since NOVEMBER... At least. I don't remember.

Updates:
I has a boyfriend who I luv. *hugs* And no, Diana, it's not the kid who bit me. This kid does much more /interesting/ things.
School is doing much better.
I am out of that freaking Key Program for anyone who's out of the loop.

Let's see, what else...
Well, things in general are pretty good except for one thing...

My chicken got killed by a cat yesterday.
It was so horrible. I'm talking about this guy [link] who was absolutely beautiful and cool.
We had him for 10 months. I believe he was about 2 years old...
*hugs*

Good news is that I did get chickens.
I have seven, although I was supposed to have 25.
I am sick of talking about the story so let's just say that McMurray Hatchery is the best and I give them 5 out of 5 stars for customer service, and I now urge people to never order poultry if the temperature will be under 45 degrees.

My sister has taken many pictures and if you bug her enough, she might upload them...

P.S. Holy champignons! I had a 1k pageviews artwork back in August, and I've been gone all of this time and now I have almost 3500!!

Will now be doing all of those tagging-things that people have cursed me with.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/22276833/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/22276833/ Tue, 30 Dec 2008 09:51:15 PST
Well, updates:

I'M AT HOME YOU GUYS!!!

For the first time in years, I don't have a crush on anyone. I'm getting bored. But my ex-friendly friend convinced me that it's okay to not have a crush on someone. He's now just one of my best friends instead of 'friendly friends'.
He refused to be 'labeled'. Heehee...

My story is doing WONDERFUL and I plan to have the whole thing finished before next September!!! It could be published by 2011. Squee!!!

I won't get to contact anyone for about ten years after this moment, so goodbye and *hugs for everyone*.

I'M FINALLY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! NO MORE LISTENING TO GIRLS WITH TOURETTE'S CUSSING OUT STAFF!!! NO MORE LISTENING TO PEOPLE TELLING ME TO STRAIGHTEN MY HAIR!!!
And no more of my friend there.
Oh well. I got a couple nice things from that place... Like... yeah.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/21950847/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/21950847/ Fri, 12 Dec 2008 16:46:48 PST Deviantart was finally blocked at my school last November.
More tragic is that my mom cancelled the internet and cable because money was tight.
So I haven't been able get on this thing in five thousand years.

I won't be able to get on soon, most likely (unless Mom gets internet back soon), so I'm publishing this.

Anyone who loves me especially and wants to talk to me can email me at sh_el_ca@yahoo.com

My thoughts at this point in time:

OMFG I'M GOING HOME YOU GUYS!! ON THE NINTEENTH!
I will have lived in that g******, f******, ****-face place full of b****s and the stupidest girls that you could ever find in hell for THREE F***ING MONTHS!!!
And... I have improved. I can't say that I enjoyed it, but I have to say that... well, to be honest, I'm glad I went. I really hate it. I never want to see the place again. I want to burn it and blow it up. And there is more than one staff member that I want dead... Well... I can only think of one, right now... Darn.
I have to send a big message of... emotion to Stephen, the boy who pretty much made it all happen. Yup... If it wasn't for him, I probably wouldn't have gone to Key.
But that's okay. I'll get through it, and I forgive him because he meant well and what's even better is that we've made a tiny step towards reconcilling. Thank god.
For those who never found out:
My friend Nick kissed me on Halloween. It was completely romantic and nice. And later we enjoyed a couple days of completely romantic days which were really nice. (But we're no longer together... We're just friends now, with the benefits of having been together. For once, being romantic did NOT spoil a friendship.)
What else... Yeah, that's good enough.

Well, that's all for now.
In case I don't see ya, Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!!!

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/21417394/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/21417394/ Mon, 10 Nov 2008 08:26:38 PST
1-POST THESE RULES IN YOUR JOURNAL

2-EACH TAGGED PERSON MUST POST 8 FACTS ABOUT THEMSELVES IN THEIR JOURNAL.

3-AT THE END, YOU MUST TAG 8 PEOPLE AND POST THEIR ICONS IN YOUR SAME JOURNAL.

4-GO TO THEIR PAGE AND SEND THEM A MESSAGE THAT THEY HAVE BEEN TAGGED.

5- NO TAG-BACKS!

Okay, eight things about me..

1.)I have written a book... It's awesome although if you read the version I have up here you'd think it SUCKS.
2.)I love school and this year I've gone at least 40 out of 50 days (I'm sure... I haven't checked...)... but I still have a truancy CHINS on me. Blast it, I ain't truant anymore!
3.)I lived 10 miles away from my school and my bus ride was 1 hour long. I currently reside about... 30? miles away, and my bus ride is about 40 minutes long.
4.)Chickens and Lady Amherst pheasants are my favorite birds.
5.)I am a Trekkie, a Whovian, a Gatehead, and probably something else. The name for my "fandom" is Gatewhokie (gate hook ee) because I can't remember the old thing I used to call myself. Rikku!! PLZ REMEMBER IT!!! You're the only other one that might know!!!
6.)I am currently very obsessed with the following things: Christopher Paolini's writing, SR (I won't tell you what that means no matter how much you ask. "Undomesticated equines could not remove me from this stance"), boys in general, and I think that's it... Oh yes. Chocolate. And David Tennant.
7.)I'm trying to raise at least 1300 bucks by January (2300 would be considerably better so I wouldn't have to make my mom pay a thousand bucks...) so everyone who's interested in giving me monehs... tell me. (seriously, mail me 10 bucks or more... about 100 would be nice...) I'm trying to go to France on a school trip. $2300 per person, and me AND my sister want to go.
8.)I share my birthday with Catherine the Great and Queen Elizabeth II. My birthday is odd in the following ways: It always happens during April vacation (I'll have my fifteenth birthday in France if I go!!!). High school shootings have a bad habit of being in April. Adolf Hitler's birthday is only one day off from mine, and my cousin's birthday is three days earlier than me, and about a million more things ALWAYS HAPPEN WITHIN TWO EFFING DAYS OF MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Which is actually rather cool. I like my birthday.
Woo! Go b-days!

I have no time to tag people so I'm going to stop now and tag people later.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/21335768/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/21335768/ Wed, 05 Nov 2008 08:08:26 PST
-I am extremely happy that Barack Obama is now the President Elect of the United States of America.
-Honk! is back so my life is more complete.
-He has to read all of my journal entries that are published after September 19 (starting with "I'm okay.") so that he knows what's up.
-I've started learning how to talk city-talk.
"Wassup!"
"What's poppin'!"
"What's crackin'"
"Crackin' lackin'!"

I learned when to say "THASSWUSSUP!", too.
Eww... City dialect.

This keyboard hurts me to use. I was so used to my laptop with its easy keys.

So... yes, I'm very happy that Honk! is back.

Since neither of my sisters will find this (and therefore not my mom, not that they'd tell her), I had my first kiss on Halloween (it was mad random, but nice) and I'm feeling quite optimistic even though we're not actually going out and probably never will.
The girls at Key were all very proud of me. ^_^ And so am I!!!

So, thasswassup!

Oh shoot, I should be taking a math test right now instead of slacking off because I don't have any homework to do. (really, I don't!)
Oh well.
A little over an hour until lunch... and Nick. ♥ I think I'll find out what his last name is today.

Heeheehee, and I always thought I would get my first kiss from Ryan K. (the jerk, remember, Lena?)

I wonder if any weirdos are going to look at this and get me in major trouble. If they do, then I'm going to write a whole journal entry about how much I hate them and put lots of four-letter words in it.
Like these ones:

foxy
beer
wine
diet
shot
mean
quiz
quit
four
nine
mine
darn
shut

I'm in a very silly mood today.
I'm honestly not sure how I can incorporate all of those things into a HATE entry, but I bet I can. I managed to include at least 10 short story unit vocab words in my short story which I just uploaded.

YAY EVERYTHING!!!

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/21198208/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/21198208/ Tue, 28 Oct 2008 07:36:25 PDT
Feels like I've been living in Worcester for the illest time.

See those two words I just used? Mad and illest?
I'm picking that up.

I hate it.

I'm not going home for a while. My psych eval started happening.

Yo, I got two guys watching me as I type. And my English teacher just almost caught me. Not that he'd do anything.

I'm going to a Halloween party this Friday or something, with about 40 other kids from Programs.

Meanwhile, let's see...

I'm not getting enough food. I'm so f'ing starving! All of the time! I'm so mad hungry!
These guys are mad good lookouts, but they're being funny. Talking about fat naughty nurses.

Oh yeah, and I just found out that one of 'em likes Naruto except I can't tell anyone.
No one will know. ^_^

I'M EFFING SURROUNDED BY MAD WEIRD NARUTARDS!

Turns out that my BFFL is going out with Caleb, the friend of Carl who Jonald and Megan have warned me about.

Carl is pungent. That is the best word for him.

In other news, Barack Obama almost got assassinated. Good thing that they caught the Neo-Nazis. Go Obama!!!
Oh, and I finished To Kill a Mockingbird.

I loved it. It's subtle in some ways, but it's also strong in its main message, IMO.

Well, bye guys.

-------------------------------------------
Holy schmoly, I love the internet.

I have 2025 pageviews!!! AWESOME!!!

I feel cool.

I guess I am a pretty good artist. I mean, like, I draw well enough.

Although I'm not going to get to upload anything if I don't go home soon.
My psychiatric evaluation will be finished in a week or two... which is good. Also will be done: a risk assessment.

Oh yes. Bit of a hard feeling towards my counselor. He might have gotten me to go home last Friday in court, except he wants a few things done first...

Not to mention that our insurance is changing due to some /stuff/, and maybe I won't be able to see my counselor anymore.

This has happened before. He told me that he was going on vacation and I completely panicked. There's a general WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT HIM feeling. Now... I mean, with vacation, he's coming back, but if the insurance changes...
There's nothing to do about that.
But I refuse to change counselors.
Besides, I got mad problems without having separation anxiety.
I guess this Friday I'll be talking to him about that.
It's good, actually. Until I met him, I wasn't afraid of anything. I didn't have any fear of losing things or anything, but now I have a healthy (I think) fear of loss. I mean, it's not healthy if I get bigger issues from it, but it's good that I'm attached to someone enough that I care if I see them again. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Oh, I remember what I was going to talk to him about.
The only difference between him and a best friend is that he's getting paid.
I don't think that's right. It's not really normal for a girl of my age to think of her counselor as her best friend. Especially not in my condition.
But there's not really anything I can do, can I?
I don't want to lose him as a counselor, but I know I must emotionally separate myself a bit.

I miss all of you internet friends. Matt and Lena especially... Apparently y'all haven't been on in over a week.

Maaaaattttt~~~ I need my hetero gay manfriend. I miss you a ton.
And it goes without saying how much I want to talk to Lena.

Heehee hee... I am allowed to call DSS-approved friends now.

WHO WANTS TO BE APPROVED BY DSS???

Oh, footnote:
If you EVER want to watch the "In the Womb" series from Nat Geo... you probably don't want to see the Animals one, because... well... it's just not really comfortable watching elephants making babies. Or dogs, for that matter. Dolphins are a bit less unpleasant, but face it, I'm just plain not interested in seeing that stuff.
At least with dogs, you get cute puppies.

After I go home, I'm going to force the family to get a puppy.
Next spring, when we get little chicks. Probably May.
We all seem to want a puppy these days. So next May, we're gonna buy some chickens and a black lab puppy (if my wishes are heeded) and ZOMG IMAGINE THE LITTLE CHICKS RUNNING AROUND!!! (not near the puppy, though...)

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/21013821/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/21013821/ Sun, 19 Oct 2008 09:06:34 PDT
I miss my mom's cooking, video games, being able to do my homework... lots of stuff.
Everything, really.

The only reason I am not living at home right now is because someone finally realized that, without proper direction, my mother cannot make me go to school.

Now, if she had KNOWN that I would be taken away if she didn't take me to school, she'd drag me down the stairs herself, dress me, and put me on the bus even if I was still asleep. And if she couldn't do that, she would have done absolutely anything to get me to go to school. From giving herself shots (she always passes out when she has to get one) to drawing blood to... doing... other gross things, *shrugs* she would have done it.
But people just aren't giving my mom the clarity she needs.
It's obvious that my mom is a great mom, at least to me. I'm incredibly smart for my age and I'm self-aware, have a sense of right and wrong, and know what's normal and what's not. Nothing wrong with that. I know everyone keeps saying "NO ONE IS SAYING YOU'RE A BAD MOTHER!!!" but I know everyone has thought of it.
And I know you sometimes think she's stupid, asking questions and stuff.
Well, excuse me, but my mom has a few mental issues. Nothing's been diagnosed, but it's obvious to me that she has some autistic tendancies and people aren't givin her a chance.
Yes yes yes, I "had a chance" but this is BS! I'm locked into this place that is slowly destroying my grades, my body, and who knows what else.
I'm hungry just about all of the time. One staff member told me that I looked like I had lost a bunch of weight.
I cannot do my homework due to the stress. Don't ask me what specificly is killing me, I'm just unable to concentrate on something as meaningless as stupid homework when my life is on the line.

I have to get back home. I need a vacation from that (beep beep beep lots of censored words) place. I'll still go to school, but whoever thought that this place was better than a "theraputic foster home" is the stupidest person in the world, IMO.
I mean... hello. What's happening here?

I'm learning to do chores.
I'm learning to try new foods. (which end up being about as gross as I always thought)
I'm learning to swear more.
I'm learning to get an attitude.
I'm learning to put on makeup every day because, you know, if you don't wear makeup, you're a WEIRDO and people have the right to give you weird looks.
I'm learning that all girls lose their virginity at age eleven, approxiamately.

I'll add more to this later.

Edit on 10/19:

YOUR BOY SIDE:
[x] you love hoodies
[x] you love jeans
[] dogs are better then cats
[x] its hilarious when people get hurt
[] you've played with/against boys on a team
[x] clothes shopping is torture
[] sad movies suck
[] you own an XBOX
[x] you played with hot Wheels as a little kid
[] at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter
[x] you owned a DS PS2 or Sega
[] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[x] you watch sports on TV
[x] gory movies are cool
[] you go to your dad for advice
[] you own like a trillion hats
[] you used to/do collect football collector cards
[] baggy sweatpants are cool to wear
[x] it's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[x] green, black, red, blue, purple, or silver are one of your favorite colors
[x] you love to go crazy and not care what other people think
[] sports are fun
[x] you talk with food in your mouth
[x] you sleep at night with your socks on
[x] you have fished at least once
TOTAL= 13

---YOUR GIRL SIDE
[] you love to shop
[x] you wear eyeliner
[x] you wear the color pink [with black]
[] you go to your mom for advice
[] you consider cheer leading a sport
[] you hate wearing the color black
[] you like going to the mall
[] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[] you like wearing jewelry
[] you cried watching The Notebook
[] skirts are a big parts of your wardrobe
[] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
[] you don't like the movie Star Wars
[] you are/were in gymnastics
[] it takes you around one hour to shower get dressed and make up
[] you smile a lot more than you should
[] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes
[x] you care about what you look like
[] you like wearing dresses when you can
[] you like wearing body spray/perfume
[] you like high heel shoes
[x] you used to play with dolls as a kid
[x] you like being the star of almost everything
[] pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL= 5
...Apparently both Lena (the person I 'stole' this test from) and I are boys.

I want to g... ]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20805833/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20805833/ Fri, 03 Oct 2008 09:06:36 PDT
There's a girl, Madeline. She's living in a medieval-type world (how typical of Shannon's writing), and is a lady's maid to the Lady of the castle.
The Lady thinks that her husband is cheating on her and orders Madeline, who is known for her sharp eyes, to spy on her husband.
Unfortunately, Miss Not Such A Mary Sue gets caught after a day or two and is punished in a really bad way.

See, Lord Darwin doesn't want her to ever spy again.
So he's going to make it so she can never again say "I spy with my little eye..."
Bottom line is:
It's about a blind girl, overcoming her loss, going through tough times.

So... inspirational. So unlike me.

Well, see y'all around!

Oh, newsflash: I am totally getting the girl who drove me to school today punished if not fired. She was going 90 on the highway.
And playing REALLY LOUD MUSIC full of so many swears I'm surprised my ears didn't hurt.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20754804/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20754804/ Tue, 30 Sep 2008 06:52:18 PDT
But I won't because I'm going to let myself slack off on this one. I'm going to go at my own pace and even if I get in trouble for it, I'm going to... um... yeah.

To the people who are DYING to know where I am:
I'm living in a city east of where I used to live. I'm still attending school.

But it's really tough, and this is stressful for me.
This is probably going to be harder than anything I've ever done before, because unlike last time I was in this situation, I KNOW that I'm not leaving for a while. And even then, I might not leave.

I'm in a place for sick people. Not sick in the physical sense, but very sick. Sick, sick people. Except I'm not as sick as them. That's why it's tough. I haven't lived like them, and I never will.

I need help. But no one can help me because no one pays attention long enough, or if they do, they can't understand it.

I have a roommate.
There's nine other girls.
There's a girl who I knew in elementary school.
And I have a good friend at school. A couple good friends.

But I'm still very alone, and there's nothing that can help me. I have to keep getting up in the morning, showering, going to school, and working hard.

Nobody's paying attention to me. No guy is falling for me and making me feel like being alive, there's no new friends, there's not enough chocolate, and I can even go home for a few minutes once a week, in a way, but that hurts more.

I need help. Someone has to get me out of there.

I hate Worcester.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20664626/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20664626/ Mon, 29 Sep 2008 08:49:38 PDT
I'll be back on October 24 or 25.

Oh yes, and I got CP's new book:

BRISINGR!!!


EDIT:
I will be online more than I thought, but seriously, not a lot.

I miss you all insanely and LENA WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU I NEED YOU!!!

I FINISHED BRISINGR!!!
I wanted to cry...
One more book, guys, one more book...

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20552373/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20552373/ Thu, 18 Sep 2008 12:22:49 PDT
He's put BOTH of us between a rock and a hard place...
I mean, because of the lovely plot twist on Monday night, it wouldn't have just been him if he had gone along with me, but anyways, now we are stuck in a bad place.

I can't do anything because I know he'll feel incredibly guilty and sad if I cut myself again or kill myself.
He can't do anything because he decided that we should "forget each other" as if we were going out or something. I can see his point, and he is right, but he should give me a chance.

Because something that applies very much to me and him here is a very good Star Trek quote (from Spock, of course).
"Although it is not logical, often /wanting/ is more pleasing than /having/."
That's why he should give me a chance.
Obsessions start when you get a little bit of something, and then you can't get anymore although it's right in front of you.
The Joker from The Dark Knight also has a good quote.
"I'm like a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I actually caught one."

We have both used the word "lifeline" a lot when describing my relationship to him. To put it in a more descriptive metaphor, he's been the person I thought was teaching me to swim, but now he thinks that it's been too long and I can swim on my own or get another person to hang on to.
So he's swam away a bit and is standing a little farther away than "just out of reach" and he's going to watch me from afar.
He's taken a big risk with this. If it wasn't for my sudden revelation of compassion, I'd be dead right now.

So now, if I self-harm or kill myself, he will feel bad.
And I'm lost without him. Now there's nothing really dragging me to school in the morning. It was always "Oh, maybe I'll get to tell Stephen about how much I need him!", but now I'm giving up for a little while.
Then why am I going to school?
I don't really think I'm going to get any cute/hot boyfriends, I don't feel that I WILL HAVE NO LIFE IF I DON'T GO TO COLLEGE, and I'm feeling a basic optimistic apathy about things. Things will be fine no matter how they turn out.

But that won't work. That won't get me up at four-thirty in the morning. Nor will it encourage me.

So what's getting me up in the morning?

Not wanting to go to another Crazy House.
That's it.

Plus, I'm positive that I'm getting strep throat again. Seriously, my throat hurts just right, my nose is running, and... well, that's pretty much it. Probably my allergy pills are helping the rest of my symptoms shut up.

This sucks. My mom got some throat lozenges except they taste so horrible, it's better to have the sore throat. I'm not kidding.

I feel so sad.
Today this kid thought that Ryan was my friend.
If he was my friend, he'd be trying harder.

Besides, he's not the one I want as a best friend. I want someone who shares more interests in me, who appreciates academics enough so I don't get driven crazy, who WANTS to be smart, and will not criticize me about half the things I do.
I apologize for the fact that I've been shut into my house so much by both myself and my family that I couldn't find anyone like that besides Stephen.

Stephen said "there are many fish in the sea" and he meant that there ARE people in that school of ours who are like me who I can be good friends with.
He could at least help me find them, instead of leaving me alone to wander around blindly.

He's trying to wash his hands of the whole thing, but by doing so, he could end up with a lot more blood on his hands than he would have.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20537443/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20537443/ Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:45:27 PDT
Except I just lost my only real-life friend, so I can't feel very happy about it.

I'd feel better if they were dead or moved away, but no... they are still right here. I'm still going to see them every day at school.
I might crash into them in the halls...

It hurts a lot, knowing that your only friends are at least a hundred miles away... more like a thousand, for a couple of you.

Oh well.

There's a cute boy in my math class.
He's also at my lunch table.
I already know him a bit (he was in my seventh-grade french class) but he wasn't cute back then.
He went from slightly scruffy (he was in eighth grade, and already he had to shave... manly or what?) band geek to smokin' hottie. Seriously.

In other news, Mr. Bliss called me "hun" today after shaking my hand in a somewhat professional manner.

About half an hour earlier I had given him my letter and it was weird because he's like, "Hello!" like he was so happy so see that SOMEONE was talking to him and his voice was so girly and high I suddenly thought, "OH MY GOD MR. BLISS IS GAY!!!!" Either that or he just finished doing something REALLY HAPPY AND FUN...
The name Mr. Bliss seems like a name for a gay man...
It would explain everything...


...School has ruined me for life.

Anyways, I gave him my letter about self-harm, and he seemed very happy with it. He's like, "This is REALLY well written" (he used the word "sculpted" at some point) and made me feel nice...
And next week he and I will talk about... *drumroll please* Me telling the school about self-harm! ^_^

I feel like one of those kids who just helped send a thousand gallons of water to Africa or something.
Like I'm important...



EDIT:

I discovered a few hours ago that the following happened today in approximately this order:

I waited outside for Stephen to come out.
I decided to go down to the bus to discover he had slipped past me. *anguish* But he was with his sister which basically means NO ONE ELSE EXISTS.
I went near them and passed them and got on the bus, readying the note I had written Monday or Tuesday... probably Tuesday.
His sister got on, passed, but then I'm like, "Stephen, I have one more note for you," while he's saying, "I have a note for YOU."
So I read it.
I guess he didn't read MINE right away.
So, sob sob, I go, as I see my world crashing into pieces before me that no king's horses or king's men can ever put back together again.
I went home... Was sad...
He must have read mine around, say, quarter of three? Half past two?
Anyways, apparently he panicked, reading what MINE said, and remembered what HE had written (I can definitely understand why he panicked... seriously, I would have too), and he called the social-worker-person at the school.
And she called my mom and told her about it.
And my mom asked me about it.
And I felt better, a little. That he cared... Because he wanted to just put it behind us, never communicate really ever again (well, I imagine we COULD talk to each other)...

I imagine he thought something like "Oh my god, she almost killed herself Monday because of what I did, and I just gave her the ultimate rejection note of all time."

I know you don't want me to, but I'm still giving you a hug, Stephen. Thanks for doing something, no matter what your intention or your thought was.

That letter was really good... no spelling or grammatical errors, it all made sense... An apology-explanation-get well card letter all in one.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20502731/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20502731/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 16:11:30 PDT
1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most.
2. Make them answer the following questions.
3. Then tag at least three people.
4. Feel free to go ahead and add (a) question(s) yourself!!
(Let's begin! :3 )

CHARACTERS:
Linda
Bethany
Torin
Eric
Ferdinand

Who/What are you?
Linda: I'm a princess and the narrator of the story! ^_^
Bethany: I have a lame job that gets even lamer when I fall in love.
Torin: I'm a philosopher, but then my life goes downhill and I go crazy.
Eric: I am the coolest guy that ever lived.
Ferdinand: I am nothing but a heart beating for Linda.

YOU WANT A HUG? XD
Linda: ...If it's from Eric or someone else I'm close with, sure!
Bethany: In my job, even hugs will cost ya.
Torin: Okay.
Eric: If it's from Linda or--er, only if it's from Linda.
Ferdinand: I guess so.

You got any bad habits?
Linda: I am very impressionable which is really bad if you are evil.
Bethany: How 'bout falling in love with someone you really shouldn't fall in love with?
Torin: No. I'm a philosopher. My only bad habit is lack of bad habits... At least I hope so.
Eric: I'm a king. I'm perfect.
Ferdinand: ...I don't know why, but Linda just doesn't seem to like anything I say...

Are you a boy or a girl??
Linda: Why would you ask that???
Bethany: I sure hope I am because most guys don't go too far in MY profession.
Torin: A man. But what is a man (says some deep thought/quote)
Eric: I am a very manly man. Do not doubt that.
Ferdinand: I am but a man... but for Linda, I will become anything she desires.

Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Linda: Let's see... Elizabeth, Leonard, Charles, Richard, Mae Anne, Joseph.... I think that's all of them... unless Mother had another one.
Bethany: *looks at Torin*
Torin: *looks at Bethany*
Eric: I have two younger sisters, Princesses Caroline and Catherine.
Ferdinand: I was an only child.

Are you a virgin?
Linda: *blushes and faints*
Bethany:
Torin: Actually... OMG I AM!!!
Eric: How VERY dare you!
Ferdinand: Hey, who /isn't/ in my country?

Who's your crush/mate/spouse?
Linda: I'm married to Eric and I love him very much! *defensive*
Bethany: ...I just wish I wasn't in love.
Torin: Erm... Philosophers don't have crushes???
Eric: I am married to my Queen, Linda... but... err, let's not go into anything else.
Ferdinand: *s Linda*

Do you have any kids?
Linda: Oh yeah. Lillian, Eric Napoleon, and Beth. ♥♥♥
Bethany: I have one.
Torin: I have devoted my life to study... Which means I don't have kids.
Eric: Um... this number is disputed.
Ferdinand: ... I have no heir to the throne.

What's your favorite food?
Linda: ...If chocolate exists in my world, then I think that's my favorite.
Bethany: Meh, any food works. I like veal...
Torin: I do not let myself be guided by material objects... though I am a bit partial to bread with cheese on it. (hey, it's medieval times)
Eric: Peacock stuffed with spices and drenched with sauces, gold dust sprinkled over it, with a side of wine-cooked... um... *shannon's writer's block has arrived*
Ferdinand: ...I don't care about food if Linda does not like me.

Have you ever killed anyone?
Linda: ...Yes. One person.
Bethany: No, I'm pretty sure not.
Torin: Killing is wrong. Why would I do that? Although I probably have, actually... *considers the plot*
Eric: I have been in battle. I have killed, like any true and honorable warrior would.
Ferdinand: Yeah... but I will kill myself without Linda...

Do you like to destroy things?
Linda: Why? That's wrong.
Bethany: No. That's why I'm so heartbroken...
Torin: Destruction of material things matter not. Only the mind matters. And destruction of the mind, except by illness, black magic, and by Ewoun is impossible.
Eric: If it makes me awesome, heck yeah!
Ferdinand: ...I want to hear what Linda says first... *listens, and answers the exact same way after hearing her response*

Do you hate/dislike anyone?
Lind... ]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20502471/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20502471/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 08:44:39 PDT God, I hate this keyboard. It's really uncomfortable.

I'm surprised that deviantART isn't blocked, but lucky me, it isn't.
I bet Neopets isn't either.

A person who really needs to talk to me refused to talk to me today, and now I don't know what to do.

Maybe he's right, though. Maybe I shouldn't talk to him about it...
Maybe he's just a guy who doesn't want to talk about "feelings". Pfffft.
That means he's definitely straight, at least.

I'm going to tell him just what happened when I found out what he said.
Whether or not he's right, he'd better know how much I was crying. I mean, gosh. Someone so close to his sister should be a bit more sensitive.

I guess I just need to relax, chill out. Maybe by the time I see him on the bus, I will have recovered enough to not completely kill him. Or myself.

I honestly want to go home and cut myself.
But if I do, that's the addiction back, and he will never know what he did. Now I WILL be putting the pressure on him. I didn't mean to before, but I sure feel like it now.
Maybe I need to hate him or something. I'm sick of mooning over him.
I need to get a crush on someone else.

...But first I need a hug. And I'll be darned (I won't try to use expletives in school) if I don't get one from /him./ He *more expletives* well owes it to me for doing this. Apology. He owes me an apology, and I can really forgive him, because I'm ready to do that. I would like to forgive him, but that's tough when the whole reason you went to school today was because you were going to talk to him.
Why does that never work out? What is wrong with the world that everything just happens to work out against me?

I am very irritated.
And sad... because I don't know if I can go to school. Maybe I can, maybe I can't.

This "trying" thing keeps going wrong.
It's like the whole world is just DARING me to cut myself again.
And I'll let you know, World, that I will if you keep doing this. I'm not going to be all stubborn and be like "well then, I won't, just because you want me to!"
The World is about to have an extremely upset person in it.

No one will ever understand how irritated I am right now. Not even me.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20478356/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20478356/ Sun, 14 Sep 2008 12:21:03 PDT
1. Elton John is singing Rocket Man (in a YouTube video) AMAZINGLY. It is totally awesome.
His eyebrows are awesome when he sings. Eyebrow muscles!!

2. I guess I AM going back to public school... is this somewhat embarrassing or what? I was all, yup, I'm never going into that school again, but now I'm going to give it a try.

3. My schedule will be so messed up that I will officially be SPED... *shudder* Oh well.

4. OH SHOOT! MY LAPTOP SMELLS LIKE SMOKE!!!

BYE BYE!!!


CONTINUATION:

Well, I shut off my laptop after I realized it smelled like smoke since I really didn't want to lose this thing.... Especially since it doesn't actually belong to me.

Let's go back to REAL number four.

4. The person who, oh-so-unknowingly, caused me to cut, who has driven me so long to stay alive, and who is to this day completely oblivious of the power he has held over me for the past year will probably be finding that out tomorrow.
See, as I should have in the very first appointment so many months ago, I finally told my counselor about Stephen.
We were talking about something completely different when I thought about him and started crying and everything and told him everything I could think of to tell about Stephen.
So now my counselor knows about Stephen, and I will be telling the guidance counselor-person about him tomorrow and...well, my counselor said that he supported what I had suggested--having a chance to talk to Stephen privately so he could learn what was going on.
Because HE CANNOT FREAKING STOP TALKING TO HIS SISTER FOR THREE SECONDS!
I think once I get the load off my shoulders, I can finally get over the face-value things: he's very sexy, I am incredibly annoyed at how attached to his sister he is, I don't like him and his family because of how perfect their life is, and even the little bit of me that hates that he didn't cut himself when he was in eighth grade because if he had, I never would.

Now that I've explained that huge giant big secret to the world...
Yeah, that sounds like it.

I have been listening to Someone Saved My Life Tonight on repeat for the past few days.
I need to... that song is (I won't say "my song" because it isn't) important to me. Most songs about depression or whatever are about the angst and the wanting to die. This song is about triumph over death, that "someone saved my life tonight", and how Death almost had him, but he has won.
It's not "my song". It doesn't "speak to me" so much as it is my warcry. This is my victory song that I need to learn by heart.

This heart-warming speech brought to you by shanadian the non-canadian.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20456634/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20456634/ Fri, 12 Sep 2008 14:55:33 PDT
Penn Foster, an online homeschooling thing, and... blah. The evil public school I'm in.

*gigglesnort* I just remembered when my junior high school principal hugged me... That was... awkward...
I wonder who else has been hugged by their junior high school principal?

I'm about to do MY VERY FIRST LESSON on the Pennfoster website.
I am mildly excited.

My pet spider Angelica (who is apparently a grass funnel-web spider, NOT a hobo spider although she's very closely related... I guess she's just an unemployed person. Not quite homeless.) is enjoying her new life...
Well, she doesn't seem upset. She had her nice meal of an ant last night and tomorrow I'll feed her a cricket or something.
I'm not kidding when I say that it is SUPER FUN to feed a pet spider.
She was in Leonard's hutch.
Heh... one pet leads to another. If I hadn't got Leonard, I wouldn't have gotten William...
And without William, I woudn't have gotten those hypothetical white silkies next year.

I think I'm going to get a pet goliath bird-eating spider someday.
I'll feed it... bugs, the occasional mouse... and maybe I will feed it a bird once.
The females of the species can live 25 years.
If I get her when I'm twenty-five, she could die when I'm FIFTY!
THAT'S FREAKIN' AWESOME!

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20446654/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20446654/ Thu, 11 Sep 2008 21:03:12 PDT This is hard.
School is killing me. I was completely fine until that goddamn fourth day, the first day of the second week.

I can't go to school because I'm going to cut myself again if I do.
People don't seem to be quite getting that... Which is a bad sign.
I mean, it took so long for them to figure out how bad I was the first time that I "had" to be hospitalized by the time they realized what was really going on.


/It seems to me that you lived your life/Like a Candle in the Wind/Never knowing who to cling to when the rain set in/And I would have liked to love you/But I was just a kid/The candle burned out long before the legend ever did/

From a song about Marilyn Monroe.
Who's going to sing about me when I'm gone? Or will no one, because I'm not a famous sexy super-blonde girl?
This is getting very... irritating. I know life is a combination of acting /and/ being patient, but... maybe I'm not acting enough.
I wish people could understand it... That they could understand what it means for me to go to school.
Dread. Fear.
I guess I know how it feels now, to be doing something that you know might kill you.
And you know what, I will not consider myself a coward for not trying.
I'm considering myself "better safe than sorry" because safe means I'm alive, and sorry means I'm dead.
I'm not stupid. I'm not going to take risks like that.
No one else wants me to either, right?

So I'm not going to school.
Maybe sometime I'll upload what I wrote in History last Monday.

I hurt a lot.
Inside and out. I hurt on the outside because my ankle aches for no reason, my... well, I guess nothing else hurts. But my ankle/leg hurts. Great, now the other one hurts too.
Ouch... that hurts. I don't know why this happens.
I hurt inside for obvious reasons.
If I thought it was healthy for me to go to school... then sure, I'd go.

In fact, just the stress of not knowing whether or not I have to go to school makes me feel like cutting.
I'm not because I know I shouldn't.
And I don't want to.
But I'll have no choice if I do go back to school...

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20435281/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20435281/ Thu, 11 Sep 2008 08:15:13 PDT
BUT, I have not missed the one-year anniversary of my first journal entry.

So...
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DEVIANTART JOURNAL!

It's September 11...
I never really thought anything special about 9/11, just because, you know, I wasn't very involved, I was seven years old, I didn't completely get what was going on...
But still, it's a sad date. *huggles all who lost family members or friends*

So... seven years...
I'm twice as old as I was when it happened...
I don't remember exactly what day it was, but I remember my mom had made pancakes or something, and they were on plate on the table, and I was trying to say something, but I kept being shushed... So I ate my pancakes and watched what was happening.

Reminds me of the "everyone remembers what they were doing when they learned that Kennedy was shot". I don't think anyone will forget what they were doing that morning, or day, or whatever time it was they found out.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20403163/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20403163/ Tue, 09 Sep 2008 07:50:46 PDT
If I keep trying to go to public school, it will kill me.

I am being completely serious. If I keep trying this, I will end up killing myself.

So.
Homeschooling it is.
Mom can write a letter to the superintendent, and she can school me. Give me assignments in the morning before she goes to work, review them at night.

Alright?
I'll devote myself to writing, internet (but as a secondary instead of primary), and I'll make new efforts to make friends with my schoolmates.

I understood this yesterday because in History, I could not comprehend anything, and I just took out a notebook and wrote the date on the page and wrote.

I can't do this. There's no way I can go to school when it's like this.
Sure, it's /mostly/ okay, but it sure as hell ain't gonna keep me alive when I'm still having these problems.
I can't get through to the people I need to.
My History class is going to kill me. It doesn't matter if I'm in Standard or in Honors, it will kill me.
Nobody at school or even at home is appreciating how hard it is to go to school. Many of them know at least some of what happened last year, but a lot is shaded by stupid gossip. They don't seem to be seeing the truth. The truth is that at most times, I'm holding a gun to my head. Of course most of the time, I'd never shoot it off, but until I'm out of depression, I can't drop that gun. Now, if I was holding a REAL gun, I'm sure that they would be very worried and try to stop me. Even that jerk Eric would probably try to stop me if I had a gun. But no one is seeing the imaginary gun, and no one is trying to take it away from me. I'm talking here to those people who will probably never hear this.
Maybe I'll print out a thousand copies of this and spread it around the school. Give twenty to say, ten people, and tell them to spread it around. Just drop the papers anywhere in the school.

I think I would like to give a talk at the school, though. Stand in the auditorium and tell everyone in that school what it is. What's wrong.
Last year, a girl at the high school killed herself.
I think I'd like to give them a chance to save others who might be at that school. Or at their college, whenever they go. Or at the workplace, or maybe their own family when they grow up.
Or maybe, they will see someone at their own house when they get home from school after hearing my talk, and they will see what's wrong with them.
And maybe they'll save a life one day.
Whether they save one life or a hundred, or if I save one life or a hundred by giving a talk at my high school, that's worth it.

I guess I have a letter to write.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20372427/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20372427/ Sun, 07 Sep 2008 10:06:17 PDT
That is quite possibly the awesomest thing I've heard of in quite a while.

Oh yes. You should see my newest favorite because IT IS ABSOLUTELY SO ADORABLE!
[link]

Um... I'll update this if I think of anything else to say.

I just felt like doing something random.

Which is a sign that I'm very cheerful right now!

*Is is written in the stars/are we paying for some crime/is it all that we are good for/just a stretch of mortal time/is this god's experiment/in which we had no say/in which we're given paradise/but only for a day*
Beautiful song from Aida.
Aida is a wonderful musical. This song gives me shivers every time I hear it.
I personally like 'How I Know You' best because my favorite person was singing in it (Mereb, played by my favorite singer at this time)

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20340063/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20340063/ Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:57:59 PDT
I still don't feel too good about things in general, but I do feel a bit more cheerful.

Crow-of-the-Abyss, if you be watching, know this: I may have found a sort of mini-you. The moment I saw him, I thought, "Johnald?"
He has a friend.
They were talking about Deathnote, Harry Potter, The Dark Knight, and cosplay, so I knew at last I have found them:
People with no lives.
Who go to my school.

It's pretty much awesome. They might be seniors, but they look a bit short, personally speaking. I'm guessing small juniors.

I'm in painting, and Metcalf is definitely a bit weird, and if you ask me, he's rather absentminded (he oh-so-kindly picked up a cover to one of my brushes and, thinking it was trash, tossed it in the wastebasket... it was funny and I'm not going to say anything. I'll pretend it disappeared.) and seems to be a bit... wacky, or batty, in a good way.

I only know ONE person in that entire class. I am positive that she and I are the only freshmen in that whole class.

I think I'll get a bad grade in that class because it's my hour-and-a-half while I prepare for a class that I dislike immensely because, face it: I cannot recover from three years in a row of having crappy history, and this is the fourth year and there's something wrong with it.
I'm never going to like history in any sort of school. Wikipedia will be my history teacher. Besides, I know more about the Knights' Templar than the kids in my group who had to make a poster about the Crusades. Seriously.

I can't wait for U.S. History because then I can spew my anti-American thoughts.
And announce my belief in feudalism and monarchy.
Seriously. Democracy really sucks sometimes. There are some benefits, but I seriously have no interest in it.

Oh, and I saw Mr. Berthiaume (my English teacher that I don't have anymore) and as I spoke to him, he almost looked like he wanted to cry because I switched from English to Painting. I mean, I felt like he wanted to cry.

...Why, I cannot say. It's not healthy to care that much about a particular student.
He said "Good luck on your novel," which I liked.

Anyways...
Yeah, if you've never been to my school, you won't quite appreciate this as much... But the thing about my English teacher will be amusing for all time. ^_^

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20309186/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20309186/ Wed, 03 Sep 2008 14:39:39 PDT
Going back to school feels like a total mistake right now.
Today, I stayed home because I was emotionally unable to go to school. That's how bad it is. Four days. Four days and I break.
Five days down, 175 to go.

I am deeply afraid of not succeeding in school. I'm such a perfectionist, an over-achiever... I have so much pride and high-and-mighty-ness that I can't do what I have to in order to get well.

I'm such an elitist that I often reject ideas from friends and family just because /they/ thought of it, and not me. I think so highly of myself that I can't accept other ideas.
And I'm not even be allowed to be who I am. I can't even say that I'm an elitist, when I know I sure as heck am. I'm an elitist, a villain, genius, mad scientist, hater, lover, hater, and so many more things. But no one will let me. There's a huge set of things I can't be at home, and no one believes that I am those things at school, and even online I'm not always saying what I should. I know everyone makes mistakes, but NOT ME. I can't make mistakes. I never do anything wrong.

I can't stand this.
Sure, I'll try another day of school, but things had better shape up quickly. I can't stand to be this patient. I have waited patiently all summer, and now I've gone through four days of school, and things don't see to be quite working.

I had plans for ninth grade... like, I'd be the complete bitchy-whore that I know I am, and I'd say what I really wanted to say. If I didn't like someone, they'd know about it. If I cared about someone, I'd show it.

But I didn't do any of those things yet. I don't think I will, because I'm too shy to be myself.
Thanks to everyone who spent their teen years training me to be quiet while they played videogames. You succeeded there, but a little bit too much. Now I can't even say "Stop it" when some idiot is kicking my chair or something. One of these days, someone's going to get me really hurt because I didn't speak up, because I've been trained so hard to be quiet.

But that's not even the beginning. There's something so much more than that. There were so many things that combined in just the wrong way, and now we have this.
And who's going to fix this? Not any one person. Not any little group therapy. Not mental hospitals. Not family. See, there's a little bit of "working together" that people need to think about.

If anyone REALLY cared about me, then they could make a small effort to work with my online friends, my school friends, my family, all of them. Contact all of them, work together, and maybe, just maybe, if you do the right thing, this could work.
No, I don't think you'll actually do it. No one in real life who will read this cares enough about me to make that sort of an effort.
Yes, I'm sure you have your own troubles. I'm sure you do. But unless it's a life-and-death matter, I must very selfishly say that I don't give a damn about your dog or your fish, or really anything else. I want help from the right people. There are some people reading this, I'm sure, who could do a lot more if they wanted to, so they get to help decide if I live or not. Believe it or not, in this case, your vote really does count.

Forget what I keep saying about you internet people doing enough. Say whatever the heck you want to say to comfort me. Say whatever. Don't expect me to really reply, but I am accepting it now. Before, I was refusing any sort of sympathy, at least inside, but I'm going to stop being ungrateful and let people actually say things. Tell me whatever the heck you think will make me feel better. Give me reasons to feel better.

And if you have something to say that you don't want others to see, there's always this magical little thing called Sending Notes.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20291581/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20291581/ Tue, 02 Sep 2008 14:26:44 PDT

School, I mean. I'd be fine if I had a better support system, or less pressure to do my copious Accelerated Algebra 1 homework...
And it would help if I did not have to decide between Newspaper and Math Team and all of that other stuff.
I'm going to be dragged to Diversity Club (formerly the Gay/Straight Alliance) by my friend (truth is, I'd go to one meeting by myself to see if they would accept my plans to rule the world), and probably some other stuff.
I should have a good talk with her. I don't think we really know each other. If we were both lesbian and going out, I would suggest breaking up... but no, we're just best friends... except we barely know each other enough. I don't know what her favorite color is, I can't tell you her phone number... I forget her sister's name most of the time... I don't know. I'm just troubled about it.

In better news, I discovered that a certain very hot guy has a locker right outside my A block class, so I can stare at him as I walk past him.
And of course he'll smile and say hi because he's so nice that he does that to everyone he knows.
He's so nice, it almost gets annoying, but the sexiness balances it out.
If for some reason, I ever went out with him, we'll probably break up because I can't stand his goodness.
Now that I think of it, I have a very strong hate for his family. They are the absolutely PERFECT American Family. A thin, gorgeous blonde, blue-eyed girl, a brown-haired brown-eyed boy, both of which can sing, can play instruments, live in one heck of a nice-looking house, have a dog, own an RV, and have excellent fashion sense. And, of course, they have the perfect names, and they get great grades (well, I'm just guessing there).
And of course they love each other to the point of me thinking that the two siblings should be separated until their adolescence is completely over so that they don't have an incestuous relationship.
...I should tell him that thought. He'll make the awesomest face, I bet.

Anyways.

School.
It's hard for me. This is pretty much the same thing I had last year. The difference is that right now, there's not a ton of make-up work that I have to do, and I feel more confident...
That sounds like it. I need to get closer to my best friend, or get a supportive boyfriend, or maybe just get closer to my siblings.

I'm going to persevere and keep going to school, and work on LC, and... well, I guess I just have to keep going.
But when it's one week into the school year, and things are feeling tough, it's got me a bit worried.

At the same time, I know I'm going to hit rough patches. No one just started taking Prozac and Lamictal and went back to Stress Place and was fine. Besides, taking pills twice a day is more than enough for me. I don't really want to become dependent on that crap.
I guess I need to start communicating more. Take chances. Yell down the hallway. Tell my sister how much better I would feel if she altered her attitude towards me.

I wish my classes weren't so long. It makes my /derriere/ hurt a ton, having to sit for an hour and a half at a time. And the chairs are slippery, too.
And in English, there is the most annoying group of kids. It completely sucks. There's no serious or anything. We'd get so much more work done and less of me falling asleep from boredom if people would stop asking who Mark Twain is (yes, that girl is a freshman), and calling characters variations on slut, whore, tart, prostitute, tramp, and I'm sure there are some other words for a whore that I'm forgetting. I mean... SHUT UP ABOUT RAPE AND SLUTS!
I've played chess against her grandpa. He's less annoying than her.

There's so many complete idiots in my class. I'm beginning to wonder if I was actually put into a high class or a CP class...
I should check, I guess.

History pisses me off because my extremely nice teacher talks... too much and too slow. I mean, she takes so much longer to say things than she has to.
Plus, I'm sitting in front of a combination best/worst person to sit in front of.
I still haven't figured out if he's stopped hating me.

My other two classes are fine. They're rather great, in fact.

In all of my classes, though, I feel isolated. Alone. I'm not near a group where I can talk to others. It's exactly what ruined my school year last year.

My GAL said that I can go to the guidance counselor anytime I need to... but what's the point? I want my counselor back. I'm probably going to glomp him when I see him again... unless I remember to not do so.
I think he's coming back from vacation today... but I'm not sure.
I have an appointment sometime this week... I don't know what day. Somewhere between tomorrow and Friday.
It's not like it would help to talk t... ]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20265560/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20265560/ Mon, 01 Sep 2008 06:07:32 PDT
I have a laptop.
It's...
Well, I do like that I have a computer, no matter how slow it is.
It plays my mom's Elton John CDs, at least. And if it had a DVD playing software-thing, it would play DVDs too.
I can write a novel on it, at least.
It's bad enough (I'm exaggerating, it's not that bad) so that I won't get sidetracked by the Internet while I'm writing... although I would love to download Wikipedia, since my brother said you can do that...

Yup.
If we can get Word Processing Software on it, yes, I will write my novel on it.
It has Notepad, which basically means I can type words.
And that's it.
It can't underline or do anything besides have words. I can't write a novel on that.
I mean, I physically could, but it would be so hard...

Anywho.
Also in the news:
What I have uploaded here on dA, of Linda's Chronicles:
That's it.
There's pretty much no more to the story.
That's my book... the second draft of it.
I decided to cut the other 20 something parts out because no one will care about those.
There will just be a certain Letter from a certain person *nudges Lena*, and that will be the book.
To be honest, another reason for doing that is that I don't even LIKE that part of the book. I love writing LC, but then after what happens in the last part I have uploaded, I don't feel like writing what happens then.
Especially since it takes about a year (in her time) to happen.

Other Updates:
-I promised Sexy Matt () that I would have a Scullery Man comic done by next week.
Which means I actually have to do it. I have to stop being so lazy about things. And so superhero-phobic. I'm superhero phobic like some people are homophobes... But I'm willing to overcome it. If I invent a superhero, I sure as heck have to make some comic strips!
-I have a songfic planned... although I probably won't publish it here if I finish it.
It has SPOILERS for Linda's Chronicles.
Lena gets to read it since she knows LC inside and out.
If anyone else reads ALL parts of Linda's Chronicles, then you can read it too... if I actually write it.
The song: Part-Time Lovers. (Is Lena excited yet?)
-Schoolwork will force me to not be online as much. Believe it or not.
-The writing game will commence whenever names have been chosen and all that stuff figured out.
-Anything else you can think of probably has been forgotten, cancelled, or is on hold.
-Prozac makes the world go 'round.
It also can disturb you A LOT. When you think about it.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20232868/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20232868/ Sat, 30 Aug 2008 09:15:26 PDT
Every couple days I'll see which names have been taken and take them off the list.
Which means you have one or two days to fight with someone over a name. Because once I take it off the list, that means whoever has it has the name.


There's a bunny's butt blocking a little bit at the bottom of the screen. I guess Leonard likes to sit near the speakers. Maybe he likes Guns N'Roses.

Anyhoo, here are the names:

Martha
Dorian
Eleanor
Jacob
Daniel
Jonathan
Leonard
Alicia
Christian
William
Brunelle
Sven
Ella
Maddox
Frederick
Esmerelda
Esther
Samuel
Sarah
Benjamin
Rana
Oliver
Lisa
Myrtle
Heather
Andrea
Imogene
Harriet
Jane
Carol
Nicolas
Alfred

Rules of the names:
Your first two or three picks will be your main characters. You have to make a little character profile for them (it doesn't have to be too complex, just to give the other writers an idea of what the characters actions would be. If you look at 's profiles of his characters, that's more work than you have to put into it.)
Your other characters are minor characters, and it doesn't really matter how much work you do on them. They will be kind of stock characters, Red Shirts, etc..

More rules coming.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20149087/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20149087/ Fri, 29 Aug 2008 06:08:29 PDT You write down names of the guys, and their wives and kids, and then you imagine the town and make up a story. That's how you play Town according to Harriet.
I actually have done this once before and I had an okay chapter book going until I got kinda confused-stuck.
I probably won't go back to it, but anyways, I decided to try a little writing game with whoever here is interested.

I made a list of names, and after I find out how many people are interested in this game, I'll tell people to just pick out the names.
It's first-come, first serve, but I will make sure that people don't steal names. But hold onto that thought.

After all of the participants are chosen, and the names picked out, then we write.
We're writing something that's a mixture of a roleplay and a chapter book.

The setting will be some kind of somewhat secluded group/village/town (the time period will be decided via democratic decision), and other details will also be decided democratically (Shannon/Elizabeth is going insane because she hates democracy)

Basically, one person (it will rotate) will write a chapter/scene, and then the chapter/scene will pass through the hands of the other people who own the characters mentioned, and the dialogue and actions of the characters they own (and that only) can be changed to better reflect the character.

If that made no sense, I'll give an example.

1 Shannon writes a scene. Lena's characters, Matt's characters, and Rikku's characters are in it.
2 Lena takes the scene and rewrites what her characters say and do. (if it conflicts with what others say, then that's unfortunate and the other characters just will have to be fixed. The plot will end up being rather strange, but at least we might make it a fun read)
3 Matt takes the manuscript and rewrites his characters.
4 Rikku takes the scene and rewrites her characters.
The last person to edit it will also be the one who corrects spelling and grammar (so Shannon's OCD doesn't kill her), the one who makes sure the story doesn't look like someone threw together totally unrelated words together and tried to call it a story, and otherwise making the story make enough sense for it to be followable by others.

After this, the next person on the rotation writes a scene. It goes through the same thing.

If that makes sense, that's cool. If not... um... ???

I'm also going to have little lotteries held for various fun things... what they are will be determined later.
And other people can hold lotteries too. And they must be fair as in: you write down all of the names on separate pieces of paper and throw them on the floor, and stir them up with your eyes closed, and then throw them up in the air (still with eyes closed) and then grab two with each hand, drop one from each hand, and then pick the one in your left hand. (your eyes must be closed until you have only the one in your left hand, and then you can open them so you can read the winner).
Very complex, true, but it will insure a rather random lottery. ^_^

That's pretty much the writing game.

Ask questions because I KNOW I must have left stuff out and I will answer them, and after two to six people have signed up (I don't expect more than that to sign up, but anyone's welcome), we start.
Please sign up by September 10. (by signing up, I mean just leave a comment that says YES I WANT TO SIGN UP or something to that effect)

Rules that I can think of right now:
-You can't base characters directly after someone else's characters (as in, /Diana/, you cannot have a character that's based off MacGyver)
-If you get a name that is the same as one of your characters, you can't use your existing character. You can base them off it, but please make it a new character.
-If there are any insane arguments about names (like five people want Heather) then they shall be settled, but it's basically going to be in the procedure I describe below.

I shall post another journal entry with the names to chose from.
After you sign up, you can choose ONE name from the list. At least two other people must choose names (only one at a time) before you can choose a second one.
Basically, everyone chooses ONE name, and then it starts over again.
It's a first-come first-serve thing, so you want to chose names quickly.
I'll leave a comment on the journal entry that says when you can choose another one. (if that sounds a bit like I'm a control freak... well... I am one, bear with me)

Okay. That seems like it.
Disagreements with the rules/procedures will be talked out and you are completely free to disagree with my... ]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20126632/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20126632/ Sun, 24 Aug 2008 08:44:59 PDT IT HURT A LOT!!!

My mom seems happy that I fixed it.
That's good. I half expected her to scream, "NO!! I WAS GOING TO FIX IT IN A SPECIAL WAY!!!"

But she didn't which was nice.

I lifted weights for a while on Friday night.
I was feeling upset so I probably worked way too hard.
I'm a complete wimp. I can barely lift 8 pounds.
Well, I can LIFT it, but I discovered that if I'm holding it with my arm straight (locked might be the correct term) I physically cannot flex my elbow. I tried a lot and it hurt a lot.

My shoulders and now inner-elbows are killing me.
I guess I will not--OWWW!!!
My sister just gently squeezed my biceps-things. It REALLY HURT! (Ouch Charlie! That really hurt!!)
Anyways, I won't be lifting weights tonight like I planned. Every two days is great for building muscle and boosting your metabolism (which is good for people trying to lose weight like /moi/).

I'll check to see if my brother has any five pound weights.
It's unlikely because he has, like, 30 pound weights, I'm sure.

I think once I tried to lift one (he wasn't in his room) and I couldn't...
I know I'm a weakling.
Which is why I'm going to lift those eight pound weights every three days until it stops hurting so insanely.
Then I'll up to 2 days.
And after that, I'll kidnap my brother's 10 pound weights which he may not have.
In which case, I'll have to go to 15.
Which could hurt insanely.

So...
Pain medicine would be welcome.
Oh. I need to take my medicine that makes me FEEL FANTASTIC!!!!!!!
I feel fantastic even now, actually. But I'll still take it.

It's disturbing how insanely happy I am when I'm not feeling depressed.
YAY SCHOOL IS ON TUESDAY!!! It's Sunday which means that after today is over with, it will be Monday which is just ONE DAY AWAY!

In case you couldn't tell, I'm very excited about school.

My brother is about to take the internet.
Grrr.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20076973/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20076973/ Thu, 21 Aug 2008 11:41:40 PDT How nice.

BudgieContraption is being lazy again and is sleeping, although it's past 2:30 pm.

I managed to get through more of Three Cups of Tea, so it looks like I will actually finish it.
Probably tonight I'll be done, if my multiple personalities let me.

I also created a new website.
For stories that I don't want to put on deviantART because they are A: spoilers, and... yeah, I think that's it.

The website is pretty much for Lena to read stories, since she has been with me for nearly every step of the way with Linda's Chronicles and knows everything there is to know about it (unless you are me) so she gets to check out [link] and read what I got up now.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20017835/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/20017835/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 07:38:32 PDT


IS



COMING





On the twenty-sixth, I return to school, and I will finally be a ninth-grader, which is great because the junior high I used to go to SUX and gave me ultra depression-anxiety.

I will be occupied everyday from about 5:30 in the morning to 2:30 in the afternoon. (no, I don't go to school at 5:30, I just have to be getting ready then or I will epic fail)
And of course, unlike the last three years of my life, I'll have homework that I'll do in the afternoon instead of at midnight, so that probably cuts another block of time out.
And if I stay after school like I plan (because I will probably be forced by my friend to join this Humanitarian group and I will probably be joining the Diversity Club so that I can shock them with my plans to rule the world... and because my friend will also be joining that and I applaud diversity)

Bottom line: I will not actually have ten hours to spend online every day anymore.
DeviantART will probably receive about the same amount of time, my email which gets nothing but spam most days will also get its ten minutes, but Neopets (which amazingly I'm on again) will be cut down so that I'll only have time to post on the Tuvic board and play NeggSweeper which is my recent obsession.

Weekends will be just about as internet-filled as they have been, although I expect that I will have a hard time getting up in the morning on the weekends. Getting up at five o'clock every weekday morning will be extremely tough for me, so I'm probably going to get in a habit of crashing for half an hour after I get home.

I'm still going to have 10 separate conversations going on with all of /you/, and you know who you are. ♥

*panic* I have to finish my summer reading. NOW! I have to finish it in time to give it to my sister who also needs to read that book.

Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortensen and some other guy is really boring in some parts, but it is pretty nice the rest of the time.
It's the completely true story of how Greg Mortensen built a school AND a bridge for the village of Korphe, which is near K2, which is a really really really tall mountain... somewhere. In Pakistan, I believe.
It's rather exciting in SOME parts, but mostly it's really boring because it's non-fiction which means you know far too well how it turns out. There are some cliffhangers, but mostly it's really annoying because now I'm used to making predictions (and wishes for tragic endings) and now I can't because this is a true story. You can't make predictions for something that happened 10 years ago... INHMO. (in my not humble opinion)

Farewell, my peeps. I'll probably crank out a few more completely pointless journal entries before I go back to school, but I realized I better do this now so I don't forget.

Whee, tomorrow I go to a meeting thing which will officially determine if I'm going to ninth grade. I never actually finished eighth grade... but they are willing to let it slide because eighth grade doesn't mean a thing. It's basically a review of seventh grade while you learn about really boring Earth Science and if you're in a High math, then you get to learn more fun things.

I'll probably be just fine in ninth grade. The only class I'm concerned about is Math because I was put into Honors Math, which I might not be able to do since I missed so much school at the end of the year.

This getting depression thing is complete crap.

And you can quote me on that.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/19958953/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/19958953/ Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:39:48 PDT [link]
[link]

Those pictures found at:
[link]

My sister took plenty of pictures of them.
I'm claiming one as a dA ID...
It's awesome.

, , and I were walking around outside today and I was exploring this little area that had turned into a pond what with all of the thunderstorms lately, and then I heard both of them freaking out.

I went to see what it was... and there was a gigantic caterpillar.

I have never in my entire life seen a bug like that. It was so incredibly disturbing that my z-lo was even nervous about it. She kept rubbing her hands as if she felt bugs on them. I've been disturbed like that (after watching a movie such as Arachnophobia), but I've never seen her get fazed when it came to gross things.
Well... except when I crack my knuckles... I don't think she likes that.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/19898907/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/19898907/ Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:14:32 PDT
I'm testing Lenore Rospianna, my favorite character from Linda's Chronicles. She's the star of Book 6, which there is no chance in heck of any of you reading for several years, seeing as I haven't written it nor do I plan on writing it until Books through 1 to 5 are finished.

Lenore Anne Rospianna

Her mom's name is Lena.

1. Is your OC named after you? [ ]

2. Does the OC have a really cool named you wish you had? [1] I suppose because I really like the names Lenore and Anne I have to say yes.

3. Does the OC have more then one name? (Alias, nick names, pseudonyms, etc.) [ ]

4. Did you spend more then one day looking for just the right name? [ ] Most of the queens were named spontaneously about three years ago.

5. Have you considered naming your pet that name? [1] I'll say yes because I have a bunny named Leonard, which is very similar to Lenore... And I probably would get a female raven and name it said name.

6 Does the OC have an unusual pet? [ ] Her daughter does... but N/A for her.

7. Does this pet have any unusual abilities, skills, or powers? (Ability to understand speech counts. Exception only for full blooded elves.) [ ]

8. Is the OC the same gender as you? [1] Most of my characters are female because 1; I am scared that I won't write a guy realistically enough or something, 2; I'm a bit less uncomfortable thinking about things that are related to gender with females, and 3; There's a very girly part of me that wants a romantic life, either as the poorest of poor or a rich princess.

9. Is the character from the same racial or ethnic group as you? (If some magical, alien, or monstrous creature mark yes. Ex: demon, fairy, etc. Add an additional points if dragon, unicorn, or cat.) [ ] I can only think of one character I have that is not my race... and he's not in this book.
Maybe I should work on my--
Oh, I just realized. George, my one black character, is Lenore's great-grandfather... I suppose she is actually biracial. I mean, it's just one-eighth... But I'm counting it as being a different race.
This question is making me racist. I'm not kidding. Racism will never end if we don't stop THINKING about it.
This overly Constitutional speech brought to you by the half of Shannon's mind that is so incredibly goody-goody.

10. Does the OC look like you? [ ] How would I know??? Probably not, though. The heritage mentioned above and other factors would not

11. Does the OC look like a modified version of you? [ ]
I must bring out that every human is kinda a modified version of any other human.

12. Do you wish you looked like the OC? [ ] No comment. I suppose I like me better than her 'cause it makes me look like my sister.

13. Would you want to be this OC? [ ] Eh heh heh... Not with what happens to her!

14. Is the OC a hybrid of two or more species? (Again, add an additional point if dragon, unicorn, or cat. Demon vessels and/or possessed count.) [ ]
Nope. ^_^

15. Is the character incredibly beautiful/handsome? [ ]

16. Do many or all characters find this character very attractive? [ ]

17. Do some characters find the OC’s beauty threatening? [ ]

18. Does the OC have any unusual coloring such as skin, eyes, hair, and so on? [1] I'm not sure what color hair she has. Realistically, she'd have brown or black hair, but I might end up giving her light brown hair.
I am counting her skin color as unusual because it's very unusual to be anything other than white in her world.

19. Does the OC have an unusual clothing that might not belong in the setting. Ex: ninja clothes in European style setting. Modern or americanized clothes in old world setting? [ ]

20. Do these clothes appear and disappear on whim? [ ]

21. Does the OC always have a spare change of clothes handy? (Magically, technologically, or whatever summoned clothes count. Such as: ‘clap’ They now have new clean clothes!) [ ]

22. Do they have an accent different from the characters around them? [ ]

23. Does one of more regular (meaning common or reoccurring characters) fall in love with the OC? [ ] Yeah yeah yeah, one of 'em does.

24. Is the OC the long lost relative of another character? Add a point for every character they are related to? (Add another if this character is another OC. Exception for original fiction) [ ]

25. Did the OC have an unusual birth? [ ] ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/19864470/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/19864470/ Sat, 09 Aug 2008 15:16:53 PDT Yes, I will probably be going to NYC and actually MEET Christopher Paolini!!! ♥! My dad is willing to drive me if he can get out of work for that day/night, and, and, and, YAY I WILL MEET MY IDOL!
It's not that I think he's brilliant. I think he has a lot of potential, getting off to this overdone start. True, Eragon and Eldest and probably the other two books (Brisingr and the last book) are/will be complete crap, but he's going to get better.

Yes, I might tell him that. ^_^ It'd be pretty cool...

In other news...
I use that term way too much.
I went somewhere somewhat fun today.
I got to try my first coffee... and I did not like it because it was bitter (even with two sugars and two creams), and it BURNED. My tongue hurts now. Yeah, I prefer tea. My English loyalties have won over my American birth.
I went on a pretty darn fun ride. I LOVED it, even though I screamed a lot and freaked out when I flipped around.
I went to the website of the people who make this and I found a picture of something that's similar to what I went on:
[link]
There were trampolines beneath each person and you jumped and bounced up and you could do flips! I flipped 3 times!!! It's awesome! It freaked me out so much each time!!!
only flipped once and complained about it for the rest of the day. It was barely worth it because we waited in line for at least an hour, more like an hour and a half. And at least two people did cut us, which made me dang annoyed.
Some little Russian boys also tried to cut us, but somehow we both managed to be on the ride at the same time.
I luv-ed it.
And there was lots of free food and swimming and lots of other stuff.
I'm still wearing my not-that-sexy-or-skimpy bathing suit top because I didn't bother changing out of it and the first thing I did after getting home was hug Leonard and wash my hands and get on the computer.

Yeah, I think that's it.
Oh yes, and I got to see the outside of where my mom works.
Looked rather boring.
They have a pretty nice logo, actually.
And there was this trailer truck on the highway that was dripping milk! It was really funny because it kept getting worse and the driver obviously didn't know what was happening in the back, and all of the cars kept passing him...
When we passed him, we saw that he was smoking a cigar... I don't know if I've ever seen a cigar IRL. I must have, but I don't remember it.
Mom was annoyed that her 'brand new' (a month and a half old) car was getting stuff on it.

I think she's about to go out and go to a car wash.

I might go with her for the fun of the car wash.

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/19845231/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/19845231/ Fri, 08 Aug 2008 17:52:39 PDT
Anywho... (I love Tuvic spelling)
I had to fix our internet connection all by my self.

It was pretty cool because for the past few days the computer has insisted that the device has 'malfunctioned,' and today I reversed the cable that links the little router/connection thing. I removed it from the mini-router and from the computer and turned the cable around, and now it's working.

I'm proud of mehself. ^_^
Now I feel like I am The Doctor. ^_^ I love Doctor Who way too much.
Good thing it's on today, 'cause it's Friday and it's the first Friday for me which has NOT had a brand new Doctor Who...
*sigh* I wish there was a new episode of Doctor Who every other week ALL YEAR! It's be about 26 episodes a year...
They only have 13 per season!!!

In other news...
I still don't have my '1000 Pageviews' artwork uploaded.
To be honest, it's because I don't like it much. I'll see if I can make a better one for 1500 pageviews... which I know will happen soon enough. ^_^

I WENT CLOTHES SHOPPING ON WEDNESDAY!
It was pretty fun because I did pretty much buy everything I wanted to (well, not everything) and I got the most gorgeous shirt. It looks like something a supermodel would wear. ^_^
I just might try to lose weight to look even better in it, but I know I'd look schmexy in it even if I was fat.
AHHH! SCHOOL IN TWO WEEKS AND 4 DAYS!!!
I'm going to go insane because I have to get my ears pierced (at last!!!), buy some school supplies, and... and... I have no idea.
I think there's also Orientation Day in a week or so, and then I have to go to some review thing because I never actually finished eighth grade.

Anywho, I feel fantastic!
♪♪I feel fantastic♪/♪and I've never felt as good as I do right now♪/♪'cept for maybe when I think of how I felt that day♪/♪When I felt the way♪/♪that I do right now♪/♪right now♪/♪right now♪♪

EDIT:

ZOMG MY MOM IS ACTUALLY TRYING TO GET TICKETS TO GET ME TO GO TO NEW YORK THIS FALL AND GO GET BRISINGR AND GET IT SIGNED!!! YEAH!!!

I'm going to finish updating this before mom tells me the news, lest I cry or scream in delight. *hopes for latter*

]]> ~shanadian http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/19701239/ http://shanadian.deviantart.com/journal/19701239/ Thu, 31 Jul 2008 16:50:18 PDT 's journal. ^_^

y: Thurs Jul 31, 2008, 3:50 PM
Name: Shannon
~Height: 5'2... Although I think I'm growing again
~Weight: about... 125 lbs???
~Birthday: The same as the Queen of England. ^_^
~Birthplace: a hospital. ^_^
~Current Location: sandwiched between two completely invisible towns, one of which is too happy, the other one which is full of perverts.
~School: a magical school where they lose one kid to death each year from either car accidents or suicide
~Zodiac Sign: Taurus
~Chinese Zodiac Sign: Once I heard is was Rabbit, but it could be something else
~Righty or Lefty: LEFTY!! WOOOOOOO!!!
~Haircolor: it's a kinda dark blond, and there are a few lighter natural highlights
~Eye color: They are greenish gray... something
~Skin Color: it's what my sister used to call 'moon' with a bit of tan in it. ^_^ Meaning, I have really pale skin, but it's a bit darker (like, half a shade) because I have managed to stay outside for more than 3 seconds most days.

-About Me

~What's Your Family Situation (Parents, Siblings, etc): living with Mom, 2 sisters, and a brother, another brother lives somewhere else, and Dad is in another place. By the time I grow up, we'll be spread across the continent like butter on toast.
~Any Pets: I HAS A BUNNEH! And my sister has a ton of birds and my other sister might get a dove, and there's two awesome chickens in our yard. I suppose I have two pets. Bunny and Silkie Chicken
~Favorite Relative: teh birdeh sisteh
~What's Your Heritage/Race: Italian-Swedish-Irish-English-French and I think maybe a bit of something like Viking or Eskimo or something... Probably Eskimo, which would PWN ALL!

-Love and Sex

~Sexuality: straight, although I think it'd be cool if I was a zoophile even if everyone else says o_O
~Are You In A Relationship Now: no
~If So, With Whom:
~For How Long:
~Do You Have A Crush On Anyone: Hmmm... There are various people I think are sexy, but I haven't talked to them in months (or they are David Tennant), and bottom line: I have no crushes on anyone right now.
~Ever Had A Crush On Someone Of The Same Sex?: nope
~How Old Were You When You Had Your First Kiss?: I'm not counting two girl-on-girl kisses that have Occured... Both times at least one of the girls was 6 years old.
~Virgin?: Yes.
~If Not, How Old Were You When You Had Sex For The First Time: n/a
~Was It Enjoyable?: n/a
~Where Do You Most Like To Be Kissed?: ...I have no comment
~Best Love Quote?: "I love you" is the best one.

-Your friends

~Best: LENALENALENALENALENA and of course Matt and plenty of other people but those are my top 2.
~How Many Do You Have?: Let's see. *counts on fingers* A handful, maybe a bit more.
~Love Them All?: Heh heh, I love most of them, but there's one who might not be quite on the 'love' side of my feelings.
~Any You Wish You Were Closer To?: Just about all of them.
~Oldest?: Hmmm... Well, Lena, who is my best friend, I have known for over 3 years... I also have an IRL friend who've I've known for almost 2 years now, although we're not as close. I did have a good friend, but we've kinda drifted apart after pretty much our whole lives being best friends.
~Newest?: Meh, I met someone the other day that I'll probably be friends with. I think her name's Kaia...
~Pen Pal?: Only email-pen-pals...

-This Or That

~Boxers or Briefs?: hehehehehehehehehehheheeheheheh... If you mean which I would prefer a guy to wear... um... boxers, sure.
~Thongs or G-Strings?: *changes subject* Hey Matt, are you feeling Lucky? ^_^ *pokes Orina and RP from Monday*
~Shorts or Pants?: Um... Shorts if they are bermuda shorts/longer shorts because I HATE GIRLY SHORTS.
~Shoes or Bare feet: Bare feet on me, shoes on everyone else
~Books or Movies?: Hmm... I guess movies, but only because you get the visual thing, and there's music
~Night or Day?: Hmm... Night and early morning. ^_^
~Dark or Light?: Darkness....
~Mountains or Beach?: I'll take the beach 'cause then my mom and sister won't be like "ZOMEGEE! THE MOUNTAINS ARE SO PRETTY!"
~Snow or Sun?: Hmm... I guess sun.
~Pepsi or Coke?: Coke.
~Guys or Girls?: Um... guys, both as love interests and friends, usually.
~Swim or Surf?: I kinda want to learn how to do one of these before I chose.

-For Or Against ~shanadian