http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:shinzy&section=today deviantART RSS for by:shinzy en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 03:58:42 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/11983098/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/11983098/ Tue, 27 Feb 2007 04:33:38 PST ^^

So, don't worry if it appears somewhere else cause i have a new account.

You'll here from me soon lol.
Ta ta
xx

]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/11537458/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/11537458/ Tue, 23 Jan 2007 04:34:36 PST Yay.

I have my bank account etc etc. Just need the money in it first!
I get around £80 Friday, and £100 the week after.
And i've been DYING for a subcription for ages.

So, on with social and personal stuff.
My exam results are rather amazing. I hate to brag. Okay, you got me. I don't hate bragging. But you just don't know how proud of myself i am. And i RARELY get to express my self-proudness.
I've gone from a:
~ E to a C in Maths.
~ D to a B in English. [that was in Mocks but still]
~ Ungraded to Pass in Science.
~ B in Music.
~ F to D in Humanities.
~D to C in Food Tech.

Pretty cool, eh?
I'm doing quite well.

Socially, i'm the "nice guy". The one with a hello for everyone.

It's great.
Cause i always know what's happening.

BIG HEADED!


See ya, Shinzy.

]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/11455824/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/11455824/ Tue, 16 Jan 2007 04:20:35 PST It's a bit crappy at the moment.

I have some stuff to submit, but no internet at home to do it.
Plus, my editing programs have expanded their trial periods so i can't edit them either. It really does suck. I only get on here through school computers. Or the off chance of being in the library.
*sighs*
It blows.

That's practically the main reason i miss the internet.
I don't very much miss myspace. I had the chance to edit it and give it a spruce over but thats all that it needed. I dont really miss MSN because everyone i speak to on there, i speak in person [Apart from Erik but we text sometimes] and speakout.biz which i occasionally go on on tuesdays.
Pretty much a needless thing.
Plus, it's making me 'get out more' so my mother says.

Ha, and just a sentence to piss Jo off..
"I have some news for you..."

xD.

Yeah, well it's the New Year and everything is going quite well. I've completed 2 of my New Years resolutions so i'm chuffed.
I achieved a B in my mock English exam ^^. [Yes, i wont let it drop]
I have a boyfriend. ^^ Daniel eee. [Yer, the one i had a crush on since..Year8?]
Everyone in my house is getting along really well. ^^ [Yes, that includes me and Dad]
And i'm turning 16 in the matter of 3 weeks. [Excited]

So, technically, nothing can bring me down...


]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10752330/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10752330/ Sat, 25 Nov 2006 12:09:10 PST
Needed for my computer at home.
I'm using the ones at school.


Yeah. Personal note.

*sighs*

Finally, got round to editing this.
I have work experience starting on Monday. For two weeks. *yay*
Should be good, i guess.
*sighs*
Not much more updating really..

Still pretty much stressed out.. Gah...

Oh, and if Kate happens to stumble across this:
Happy Birthday.

Shinzy xx

]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10625078/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10625078/ Sun, 05 Nov 2006 12:39:09 PST (as if i am much anyway... )

I'm gonna concentrate on work etc.

Oh, and me and Andy split up.
He's doing great.
Ask Marly.
The girl he was shoving his tongue down a DAY after we broke up.
Heh.
Best of luck to him.

=]

I'll be fine.
....

Yeah, so see ya!
xx

]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10589981/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10589981/ Thu, 02 Nov 2006 05:56:34 PST
¬¬


*cries*

I'm well unhappy.

]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10580136/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10580136/ Wed, 01 Nov 2006 08:50:34 PST .<
...
i dont feel so well..
You'll let me round Ellie, right?
If I crash on the couch
Can I sleep in my clothes?..
*sighs*
cause ive spent the night dancing
and i'm drunk, i s'pose....
*quiet voice* he's staring at me..*
shhh...
Does it look like i'm laughing?! DOES IT?!!!
If it looks like I'm laughing...
I'm really just asking to leave... =[
*cries*
AH!! YOU!!! YOU'RE IN TIME FOR THE SHOW!!
cuz you're the one that I need.
And I'm the one that you hate.
Come watch me corode (sp?)
... *cries*
sh..
Ah fuck.. =[
Fuckin have fun reading this..
WHAT YOU WANTED RIGHT?! SOMETHING FUNNY TO READ!
*sighs*
*dances and sings*
lalalalalalalaa.
"you're not going to do anything stupid tonight, right?"
LMAO!
No. ¬¬
Just going to keep drinking for a little while...
^^
HAHA!
It's WELL funny cause like, tommorrow i'll be so fine
and act like nothings happened lmao...
And it's funny cause i'm like, a ghost (boooooo!)
and like the emo one..
people only talk to me if i have a "problem.."
I GOT A FUCKING PROBLEM!!!! TALK!!!
¬¬
And!! TO MAKE IT SHIT LOADS BETTER!!
He won't be at school tommorrow.
I know it.
He wont make it!! HE WONT MAKE IT!!!
LMAO!!
He'll spend the day in town again! haha!
Ah well!
But! When i go, don't blame me.
I let the drink consume me.
! xD
Mum's going to be sooooo dissapointed in me when she gets hooome. HAHA.
Like she is always. Lately.
Well you should of fucking raised another boy.
Or if you spoke to me
i could of been a better daughter. AHHHHHH pooey.
*CRIES*
Go fucking listen to MAMA.
..........

.......

....

.

The offical tag from the person who sits here, bawling here etes out and bveing a psychotic fagit and alllthayt emo bullshit,. =]]]]
Ohyea SHinzY x

]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10566709/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10566709/ Tue, 31 Oct 2006 04:53:27 PST
Bunch of crap, really.

Had TWO parties. ^^

One was really funny cause i was table dancing. Ha. I weren't drinking. ¬¬ Okay, so i had a few.
Ellie. What a lucky girl. Not only is she 7 months (yes, 7) months pregnant BUT she had her drink spiked and she was puking everywhere. CLEARLY SARCASTIC.
WHAT IS SHE DOING!?
¬¬

Yet. On myspace. I have Andy's friends adding me. ¬¬
I know they'll plan something. Like, want me to go town and jump me. Ha.
Brian said i could take em. Bless.
No, i wouldnt want to. I don't like fights. Gah.

I feel shitty.
(nothing new)

SO yeah. Nothing else really.
Apart from......

ANDY: WHEN YOU DECIDE TO DITCH ME TO GO ON A COMPUTER AND CHECK MY DEVIANTART TO SEE IF IM BITCHING ABOUT YOU, TELL ME. COW. GIVE ME MY IPOD BACK.

Finished.

Shinzy xx

]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10517166/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10517166/ Thu, 26 Oct 2006 13:03:58 PDT I couldn't think of a title and a South Park advert came up and it was Cartman so fucked up saying "hey guys, whats up? UHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Yeah.... ¬¬

I have a cold.
I have The Black Parade.
I have relationship problems. (when don't i?)
I have random phone calls at 3am EVERY morning!
I have exams when i get back school.

¬¬

The usual, yeah?

But i tell you, The Black Parade is really something. I heard the whole album on MTV. co.uk. It's really good. So i gots it.



]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10419741/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10419741/ Tue, 17 Oct 2006 04:30:52 PDT But it's pretty much ALL personal.
And involves alot of stuff i never thought i'd be involved with.
Drugs, sex and police.

Isn't that all so gay?

i think the least one im worried about is...
Wait... there isn't one im least worried about.

Grrr.

Anyway.
So yes, i have a drug problem. well, not me per se.
This person is taking poppers (yes, you may think it's just a mild drug but still. They could get addicted and want harder substances) and i'm slightly worried. Even though, they said it was just the one day. Hm.
And the sex?
Ha. Not even worth going into. It's all scary and weird and i hate talking about it. Even though, it's pretty much there in my face.
And finally, the police?
They're knocking at my door nearly every 2 days. i think it's something to do with my dad. Iunno.

So, it's all nerrrr.

And Erik has hot hair.
*Shut up Jo*

Adios
Shinzy.

]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10244908/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10244908/ Sun, 01 Oct 2006 07:34:57 PDT Boo.

*sings*
i love this song.

Back to topic, i was snooping around earlier and found this deviant ~crazygirl131 and she's currently doing a 7 Deadly Sins/7 Catholic Virtues theme. Great idea is it not? I want to do something along those lines. I don't want to copy for one, it wouldn't turn out as great as hers has and for two, i don't have the imagination!
i really do like the Deadly Sins idea though
i'll think of something grand as always.

Not been upto anything much really. On friday, i was having a talk with Jo about our situation in Year 11. And being nagged at from just about everyone. I'm glad she now knows what it's like being in my shoes. I didnt want to throw it in her face like she thought i was doing but it just goes to show ey? Lol. Dont hit me.

We can't please everyone.

Hm... my gallery clean up seems to be doing well. Have been spending my time on the computer wisely, and have been editing my works. Seem better. Getting rid of all the childish descriptions and stuff. Not maturing or anything.
Heh.

Anyway, having WAY too much fun watching my father die.
On the PS2 that is.

*laughs*

Adios.
Shinzy.

]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10213664/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10213664/ Thu, 28 Sep 2006 10:35:25 PDT
This whole asking to go out thing is taking it's tole. (sp?)
I wouldn't mind if my father was one of the easy peoples to talk to. He's really intimidating and scary. I get nervous asking him incase he'll shout or blow a nerve. I build up confidence and then it runs off when i actually get a word out my mouth. *sighs*
I know i've got to build it up alot more.
Andy wants me to go round his Saturday and he asked me on Monday.
I still haven't asked my dad.
*sighs again*
I'm going to definetley ask tonight but i'm just saying...

Iunno.

I've been pretty slow submitting work because my camera has ran out of batteries. *cries*

I hate this.


Adios.
Shinzy.
xx

]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10141189/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10141189/ Thu, 21 Sep 2006 09:49:09 PDT
I don't want to use such a word but i'm proud of myself. I've evolved into the person i should be! Or having trying to be.
I used to be so scared of opening up and just coming out with whatever i have to say.
Not anymore.



And the best thing is, i don't really care if people don't like it.

I had such a great day today. I was totally revived. Lmao. What words am i using?
I got on with Jo. Which was a first for ages. We do normally get on but i mean on the level we USED to be at when we was younger. It's great.
And i actually for once, didn't feel inferior to Kate. Well, apart from when she made a joke about me looking bald
Things seem to be going well.

Well, friendship side.
Just need to sort out a Mr. Oliver. Boo. Why?? Lol.

Shouldn't be hard.

Sayounara.
Shinz xx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10107851/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10107851/ Mon, 18 Sep 2006 03:39:53 PDT actually debate with them but we used them as an example. I found the issue on the internet.

According to the Archbishop:
"Britain's children are not being given the right example by their parents"

I agree with that i guess. Especially when you get teens (i sound old...) that constantly stay out from stay out till 3am in the morning, hanging around the street causing nuisances. And it's even more worrying when its little children. Under 12 year olds. I dont know if anyone agrees but shouldnt they be in bed? Or having something to read? My dad alone is worse and makes sure i've have a decent book to read a week. And do work he has set. Yeah, he comes off really strict and im not saying im a perfect teenager and come in before curfue and never step out of line because sometimes i do, but i know my limits. I know when to stop. Some children out there dont... And it's worse when the parents are practically the same!
Also:
Dr Rowan Williams said family separations and commercial pressures are causing a crisis in modern childhood.

I wouldn't say thats completely true. Yeah, i get how family separations can cause stress on a child but i dont think the way they behave is purely due to that. Like, i hate to use me as an example (cause it makes out im trying to sound perfect for some reason... =/) But my parents have been separating, argueing and basically being wierd for almost 5 years now but it hasnt wanted me to go out and cause havoc. Vandalise. It is stressful and does cause me to take it out on others though..

He said a new generation of young parents is failing to offer the right example to their children who in turn are becoming "infant adults".

What happened to the parents of these young parents? How come they aren't helping setting an example?

[link]
There's the whole article.
I dont know what you guys think about it but i guess it's true really.

Shinzy.
x ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10080190/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10080190/ Fri, 15 Sep 2006 12:34:08 PDT
After some weeks avoiding it, i decided to watch Naruto for the first time.
... Kakashi-sensei!! My god, he's hot. yes, it's pathetic thinking an Anime character is hot but i don't care. If Andrew looked like that i would rape him.
It has a bit of a wierd plot but it's good time passing nevertheless.
i'll stick to my Mai-HiME, Hellsing, Rozen Maiden and Genshiken.
Oh, and my ultimate favourite film, A Graveyard Of Fireflies.
Also, i put my name (Sinead) into some Japanese name generator and it came up "Nakashima Kumiko" Sounds beautiful. I like to shorten it to Kumiko. Sounds cute. Kumiko-chan. haha. Or sensei. If i dare.
Enough of the anime.
Today has been the bearable of days. I cried this morning. I've been relying on Andrew alot more. I hyperventilated last night from crying so much. This bullshit with Mel... Grr. Not going into it cause we've sorted it out. Boo.
I spoke to his dad, Richard today. He is so cool. He looks like Ricky Gervias. Decided. He was on about how Andrew has started smoking again cause he's so stressed out and he was taking the piss out of him. Typical of him. Hehe.
Anyway, thats it really. My couple of days.
Also, Chellho has split up with Martin so she needs me atm. I could of knocked his block of today but i refrained.
Ah well. Things'll get better.

Sayonara.
Kumiko-chan.
AKA Shinzy-chan.
AKA Sinead.
¬¬ ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10028618/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/10028618/ Sun, 10 Sep 2006 13:04:28 PDT
I have a new hair cut which btw, is amazing and i just feel different... i wanna change!!

Iono.

I'll figure something out.

Have posted some new deviations so comments would be much appreiciated

Shinzy

xx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9997369/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9997369/ Thu, 07 Sep 2006 10:37:34 PDT
How great?

I've took some awesome pictures. In my opinion ofcourse.


And couldn't resist pulling off some good self portraits but i'll save you all the wasted views.

Erm. Nothing else really.
Just busy taking photos woo.

oh, also. hair is getting chopped off Saturday haha.

Im going bald. Yay. Not really but it will be short.


Adios.
Shinzy ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9964860/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9964860/ Mon, 04 Sep 2006 13:02:21 PDT
It's annoying me already and i have only had it for 3 hours.
It's a Kodak Easyshare one (nothing special) and i installed the CD and the EasyShare software and there's no where i can transfer the pictures from the camera to my computer.
I'm too emotional. I've nearly cried over it so i've left it tonight to charge. I think Alison has the same one so i'm going to ask her. If she comes online.

It's been a bad day. Andrew has practically been stroppy all day. He shouted at me first lesson. Has something to do with his hangover. =/ But then he told me to "fuck off" when i was wondering why there's about 30 pictures of him and Chloe together and i asked if he liked her and he went defensive. So when we was up Tesco, she walked past with her boyfriend, (that i didnt know she had) and he said "i couldnt fancy her anyway cause she has a boyfriend" WHAT kind of answer is that?! I dont know. fuck it.

Too tired and stressed to deal with it.

Can someone help me with my camera? ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9939233/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9939233/ Sat, 02 Sep 2006 10:13:57 PDT Ernesto vs. Bastian - Dark Side of The Moon

Yeah, i went shopping with my Mum today and we must of bought atleast 50 pairs of underwear =S
It was fun i guess. Polka dots, stripes, lace, you name it we bought it.
And i bought this fleecey jacket thing for chellho's bday dinner to go with my polka dot corset
Next Saturday, me and Mum are going to buy some black drain pipes and stripey ballet pumps . It's nice going shopping with her.
Also, she's moving to day staff now so at our dinner breaks we'll meet up. And i'll meet her after school so we can go home. heh.

Better news, my auntie Kat has a spare digital camera and she said i can have it till i get mine at Christmas. So, project underway tommorrow afternoon. Yips.
Which is good timing because i've joined a September competition and the theme is 'Fire'. Pretty good. So, i'm setting my brother on fire. woooo. Joke ofcourse....¬¬

It's been a calm day. chellho's meeting Martins family. Well, the mum side. good luck hun.

Well, i best be off.
Adios.

Shinz xxx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9930768/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9930768/ Fri, 01 Sep 2006 14:03:28 PDT
*sighs*

I live at the computer. And i probably will do for the next couple of months.
Ah well. Let's hope i turn into one of those people that become the chair. ¬¬.

I need contact. I know it's one of the things i hate most but i need it...
I haven't spoken to Andrew properly in a week. So, things for us seem really uncertain. I don't know. This whole situation seems unaffected to him. If it is affecting him, he's keeping up a pretty good front.
I'm confused about feelings. It's so bad i dont know whether i have feelings for an ex or not. I would rather not, seeing as it would only cause pain for us both, distance and all. We have a good friendship, one i'm certain not to lose but at times, i feel myself wanting to take it further and then blame him for not giving in. Which i'm also glad he didnt. So glad. I'm determined not to lose Andrew. But this distance thing is so fucking uncalled for.
Danica's mum today made me cry on her doorstep by looking on the bright side. She said "Dont worry, sweetheart. Your dad will ease up and eventually see that you love Andy and that this stupid keeping you in bullshit wont break you." And i burst into tears and she gave me the biggest hug and a kiss. I wasn't complaining. I wanted it.
I manage to get an hour after school with Andrew but it's always with other people and we don' talk. When i mean talk i mean the whole spurt conversations we have, the total randomness of them. Just how they grow and develop. I miss those. I wrote him a note in technology and moped in it about how much i'm missing him. It made him smile.
Yeah, you probably think this is all pathetic...

I'll stop.

And also, some gruesome news. Aunt Flow is in town. *sighs again*

Adios.
Shinzy x<3x ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9870359/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9870359/ Sun, 27 Aug 2006 07:46:19 PDT
i've decided, (due to recent situations *hmmph*) to push aside my emotive portrait series and switch on Flowers. It's alot more... calming. I was out in the garden taking shots at the flowers Mum has planted. They're really pretty. The batteries on my Mums camera have died so i can't upload them yet.
hmmph.
I found them on the wonders of the internet and here's what they look like:
~~Montebretia [link]
~~Yucca [link]

Mum has decided to help me out on it. Which is good seeing as we're pretty much relying on each other now. Dad decided to kick up a fuss and i'm not allowed ANYWHERE and i quote "I hate that boy[Andrew] and i dont want him down here when i am"... Yeah, he's off work for 2 weeks. So. I was flicking through some flower books and Mum said she could get some seeds and grow them. Nice of her. We're sticking to wild flowers at the moment seeing as all the best ones grow in the Summer.

The ones i'm really wanting to grow are:
~~SnapDragon [link]
~~Gentian [link]
~~Crimson Bottlebrush [link]

Pretty. So, really i'm pretty much living on this computer till Wednesday.

So, be kind and give me something to comment?
Oh, and also. Do you have any ideas of pretty flowers?
Thanks.

Adios Amigos
Shinzy ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9827673/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9827673/ Wed, 23 Aug 2006 13:11:39 PDT The thing that i feared most that could happen of the relationship between me and Andrew was taking it a step further.
Further than the relationships i've had with others.
I mean by, introducing him to my parents. That went really well.
So when i was told my grandad, auntie and uncle were visiting i thought it would be great if they met him seeing as they already knew of him.
And this Tuesday we did exactly that. Thing is, the night before Dad was using the usual vicious humour he has against me to entertain the guests. And then, his favourite topic of the moment (andy) came up and he used that against me too. Completely moaning and taking the piss. They all went bed and it was me and grandad left down stairs talking. And then, the thing i never thought would happen. He took my dad's side. Here's the point in the conversation where it happens:
"So, what is this Andy like?"
-He's a nice guy. He makes me laugh and wants to go to college and study childcare. [carries on compliments]
*laughs* "Is that what he told you? Look, you're really beautiful, Sinead. I dont want this guy breaking your heart."
-But grandad, i told you. He's not like other guys and he really cares about me.
"Pah. All men AND boys want is for girls to open their legs. And they'll say anything to get it. Your Dad has a point, Shinz. We don't want you getting too involved with Andrew incase you fall so deep that he has you under his thumb and uses you."

At this point, i burst into tears and went to my room. The only person that i know for sure has my side. No matter what. So, it was a bit of a slap in the face. On the Tuesday after i just introduced Andy and we went town. I am so angry with them all. They ignored him, sniggered at him and bitched about him. Even my mum, who loves him the most treated him like he was nothing. Well, when my grandad left all he got was a simple "bye" and i left the room. They'll all be feeling it now. They made Andy feel like absolute shit and he nearly reduced to tears so we went for a really long walk down the canal and followed it all the way into town centre.
Which is funny. On the way, we passed the old Wolsey industrial estate thats completely ran down. The gates where opened so we went through. We looked in all the rooms and he made me jump so far by shouting "RAPIST!!" down my ear. We ran around and was having fun until the police turned up so we legged it into this dead end and fond a small whole in the wire fence and slid down this hill by the side of the canal. Was all fun. Calmed us down.
I've been so stressed out these past couple of days. And that whole thing with my grandad just topped it all off.
It seems like it is just me and him now. I wanted the complete the perfect dream i had. I just wanted what other couples have. But it seems my family wont budge. I never wanted it to be the whole "you dont want us together so i hate you all" scenario but it seems to be going that way.
*sighs*

Adios.
Shinzy ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9737912/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9737912/ Tue, 15 Aug 2006 14:04:40 PDT

Firstly, ~photography-chels was really upset due to Martin (Andy's brother, her boyfriend) having to go back home to Stamford because there is some family troubles back there. So, the main focus today was to cheer her up. We went engagement ring shopping () and found out our ring sizes and what rings we want. Hehe. We're dead excited about being sister in laws. Hahaha. Yeah, you might think it's some stupid 15 year old dream but i mean, you don't know how it is for us. The four of us are just.... amazing. Im not going into it cause it's our special relationships. But then, as we was talking about how great things are, we spiraled into denial and depression. I know Andy is too good for me. Like, he deserves alot better. I'm ugly, fat and complicated and he just doesnt need that. I got really upset about it and he thought i was avoiding him so he was on a downer and stormed off away from us which caused me to get upset more and chellho got upset and Andy cried. I got home and Andy was sitting in my room and i just cried in his arms and i could hear the wobble in his voice so i tried to stop.
It all cheered up later on.

So, i guess i'm fine now but i still feel the same...

Nevermind...

Adios.
Shinzy xx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9712156/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9712156/ Sun, 13 Aug 2006 11:01:16 PDT I've been sitting at my computer all day just randomly downloading songs, browsing deviations and eating sweet and sour curry.

I've been thinking about what series i'm going to do. I thought i might aswell base it around things i actually like.
SO. I came up with:
Flowers And Plants
Skies, Landscapes And Sunsets
People Portraits
Buildings And Roads
Animals
Music
Couples And Love
.....
Practically, thats about it hehe.
And anything else that comes to mind.
I want to make a proper job of it aswell.
A proper hobby and everything hehe.
And plus, i can also get credit from other works seeing as im fantastic and will be loaning out my camera to ~sonicbutterfly and she'll do amazing things so maybe a collaboration?
Definetley got one with hotography-chels: I'm supposed to be one of her models.
I partically like her ideas for the couples series.
She'll do greatly.
Well, more photo editing fir me to do so i better vaminos. (sp?)

Adios
Shinz
xxx


Adios
Shinzy ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9710387/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9710387/ Sun, 13 Aug 2006 07:31:06 PDT
I do.
Just randomly flicked through my iPod and i'm bored of practically all the songs on there. Boo.
I need to explore more.

So far, I've managed to keep interest in (from the iPod):
~~AFI
~~All American Rejects
~~Aaliyah
~~Avenged Sevenfold (just about...)
~~Bjork
~~Bright Eyes
~~Bullet For My Valentine
~~Circa Survive
~~DragonForce
~~Eighteen Visions
~~From First To Last
~~Funeral For A Friend (all the old stuff...)
~~Hole
~~Jel
~~Jeniferever
~~Korn
~~Limp Bizkit (occasionally..)
~~Lostprophets (old stuff ofcourse..)
~~Machine Head
~~My American Heart
~~Metallica
~~Nine Inch Nails
~~Otep
~~Paul Oakenfold
~~Rise Against
~~Slipknot

And that's about it!
I have tons loads more on there but the playcount for these bands have skyrocketed heh.
But, My chums i have need to update it (if i can get hold of a wire)
Bands/Artists like:
Atreyu
Bif Naked
Billy Talent
Bob Sinclair
Cascada
Coheed And Cambria
Depeche Mode
DHT
H.I.M.
In Flames
InMe
Killswitch Engage
Lacuna Coil (maybe....)
P.O.D.
Orson (come on, they're catchy...)
Placebo
Still Remains
Stone Sour (loving them at the moment...)
Taking Back Sunday

And new, fresh bands like:
Anberlin
Kill Hannah
Enter Shikari
Pale Kids
Three Days Grace
Throwdown
Stalins War
MakeShift-Romeo

iPod is going to be Ka-Waze-eee

That's all i've got for an "update"

Adios
Shinzy
ccXXcc ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9675792/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9675792/ Thu, 10 Aug 2006 09:47:06 PDT My eyes will fall out any minute now.
I haven't had a wink of sleep but there's nothing i can do about it. Everytime i try to sleep i wake up within 10 minutes. Something is keeping me up and i dont know what it is.
Meh.
I didnt have Andy here this morning either so that's prolly one reason why i can't sleep much. Bahhh.

Ha, i've noticed that last year when i joined, 22nd April, was a day before Andy turned 14.... See. Im noticing lame and small things so im definetley tired!
Boo.
I've submitted more photography up now. Yeeeeeeeee.

Gahhh. I might go try and sleep. No, i can't actually. I have to learn Miss Murder on guitar first. AND wash my dad's car.

Boo. Can't wait till tommorrow.

Adios
Shinzy
xxxx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9658066/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9658066/ Wed, 09 Aug 2006 01:55:13 PDT It just all seems to be going well for a change. I'm up to date on my coursework and homework now. Andy has practically become the family now. lol. All he needs is a key. He stayed for dinner again last night (big woop).

Also, i have sorted out on which camera to buy. It's a Sony digital camera. *gets out argos book a second*
Shit, she threw it out. Nevermind i'll add the details later. But its gorgeous. Has USB and all that and is jet black with silver things lol.

So, my "project" so to speak shall start shortly. I've decided to do a male side kind of thing. (as for the last to submittions where submitted under permission of use lol)
I'll be using male models to show emotions really. Ha. Eat your heart out chel. lol. We should do a big one together!
Back to topic, yes, so that shall be my project until my brain can think of anything else. I havent thought of a series name or anything yet but soon as i have more photos then one shall arise im assuming.

Another thing, ive realised DA has become sexier lol. It's exciting! clicking around woop. Hehe.

That's my update until later now because my eyes need more sleep lol.

Adios
Shinzy xxx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9598734/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9598734/ Fri, 04 Aug 2006 14:05:16 PDT Something i never thought would actually EVER happen.
You know, when you get the feeling that no matter who you meet you know your dad is going to hate them. Like, the rest of the family can accept who your with though.
I'll start from the beginning.

On Thursday night, my mum was complaining that i'm out all the time and don't spend anytime inside.
So, this morning i stayed in. Well, in bed.
Then she came in and called me a "lazy sod" and moaned about me all the way down the stairs.
How am i supposed to win?!
So, i got up and when i got downstairs the new Modem for my internet (3 months late) arrived so i've been setting it up all day. But i started around half 12.
It was about 20past1 and i heard whistling outside. (Andy's signal for me to answer the door - he's afraid of knocking aww) so i went out to him.
Now, he already knew i was coming out cause i told him but he had a letter for me he wanted to give me. He was just about to go back home and my mum asked him if he wanted to go shopping with her up Tesco. So he did. But i was left to fix the bleedin' modem.
When they all got back they were all happy and laughing about what they did in the aisles. At that moment my friend, Danica came round as well so we were all in the kitchen helping me fix this modem.
Then. My dad came home. Mum went upstairs, and Danica went home leaving me and Andy in the kitchen. I was bricking it so much but stayed calm...
Nothing happened. Seriously. He actually acknowledged Andy's existence! I was scared. I thought he was high or something. Me and Andy went to my room and messed on the guitars and even then my dad said he could stay for dinner! By this time, he had confirmed my thoughts of him being high.
It was about 10to9 and normally Andy's gone by then but we was all laughing and my dad offered to give him a lift home!
It's all crazy!
I think my dad might actually like him.
Heh.
I just think its funny.
So thats my eventful day.

Shinzy
xxx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9508929/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9508929/ Thu, 27 Jul 2006 08:00:33 PDT
April fools.

Well, July fools but i never did get april fools on any of you. Lol.
Nah, joke aside i actually am happy on how things are at the moment. Not everything but most things. For one, me and my mother are back on terms. She doesn't just shout and throw things now. She actually talks to me like she used to. I'm getting a new digital camera soon so i can start my photography project some time. Another would be that me and Andy are still an "item" lmaoo. Yeah, we're fine.
Erm, BELATED congrats on Chel and Martin.
BELATED congrats on Josh and "Fran" xD
BELATED congrats on Danica and Lewis.
BELATED congrats on Kate and Kez (lmaooo i ran out of couples)

Yeah, so July seems the best month of the year so far.
Even though, (ah, a problem arises) it seems all too much! I havent had a good conversation with my friends in a long time. Another reason why i hate summer holidays. it's been too hot and i've been stuck with Andy! lol.
So, hopefully sometime next week i'll be with Kate or Jo if she's around. I seen her today hahaha with mummie. Sweet.
Apparently, someone is too busy to come see me and would rather spend time at home so i dont think i'll see them till we get back school.

Anyway, apologises are in order. sorry for not being around for the past 3 weeks. My computer had a big bust up!
So, im a regular now.

Bye bye
Going swimming lol.

Shinzy
xxXxx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9298776/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9298776/ Fri, 07 Jul 2006 06:32:38 PDT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GREATEST MAN ON EARTH!!
Yepp.
It's Synyster Gates' birthday today ^^. Gave all 10 of my posters a birthday salute.
Lame i know.


And secondly:
Life is shit. Woo. Well, it isn't really. But that's what is expected to say when people (or just me) talk about life. Today is (basically) my last day at the school till September where i'll be Year 11. Boo. Way too small to be a senior. xD Ah well. Looking at all the other students in this year im actually doing well.
I've been camera whoring today. Well, Chellho has and being me thought of a million poses before i even showed my face. (Big grin) Jo got in some shots too. A classic is one of me swearing in her face and she looks like she is about to throw up. Haha. Shame on you, Jo.
...I'm currently pushing back all my lame things i want to say about this Drew situation (its Andy but then i called him Andrew, then shortened it to Drew....)
Yeah, my dad kicked up a fuss the other night while i was on the phone to Drew and decided to hit out at me and resulted in me harming myself. Not particularly proud of myself either. According to Chellho he's mighty worried... Gah. Every text i got last night from her or him, i'd cry and throw things around in my room. Angry at myself for getting me in this situation. I have Chellho sleeping round at my house tommorrow for the weekend and then we go on the Uni trip. Then i can ring him at ANY time and spend as long as i want. I really miss him.... Stop it. I'm not going to write about it. I have a feeling that when i see him next Thursday that i might actually cry so we've arranged for us to arrive early and just be emo. ^^ Can't wait. I get my Avenged Sevenfold t shirt. Boo yah.

No longer need to write because im freezing.
Darn teacher wont switch the cold air off.

Ola.
Shinzy xxxx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9256295/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9256295/ Mon, 03 Jul 2006 02:03:08 PDT It's been a good weekend.
Andy has rung me every night since Friday so i'm kind of okay with that situation (well, it isnt a situation at all but meh) And i've caught up in my coursework (apart from English) so i'm happy about that too.
Saturday had to be the most boring of days.
Town was not buzzing AT ALL. 3 Hours went by so slow. So i decided to go round and look for presents for people. I have an allocated present for everyone apart from Chellho (YOU'RE SO HARD TO BUY FOR!) so i might have to ask her. =S I bought Andy 36 Crazyfists album for our 2 months thingy. He has me a present aswell so its allll good.
Hehe. He made me laugh. He says he's in a derilict place with a phone box in the middle of a field. =/ xD Having fun he is.
Other than that there isnt anything else to comment on. Oh yeah... We have little year 6's in our school for the next two days ¬¬ and there's another Oliver in the building (Andy's last name) Yepp. Another sister i have to make conversations with... xD She's little anyway so the convo would consist of:
Sinead: "hey"
Sophie:"hi"
Sinead: "erm... See ya"
Sophie:"bye"

=/

Apparently, she can be really annoying (not just from Andy from the rest of the family too =/) So, i should make it quick.
I know there shouldnt be favourites but out of his siblings (Martin,Amy and Sophie) I think i like Amy the best She's awesome...

Shut up shinzy.

Okay so here's the quizzie thing i HAVE to submit.
Ola
xxx

You may steal if you like.
You may ignore this journal if you like.
Erm... Do what you like.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, you thought:
GAH! Brush your hair!

2. When is the next time you will have sex?
Er... When im ready?!

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DUCK"?
Suck

4. Favorite planet?
Neptune

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile list?
Chellho
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
Nirvana xD

7. What shirt are you wearing?
school uniform ¬¬

8. Do you "label" yourself?
No... xD

9. What brand of shoes are you wearing?
Vans Classics

10. Bright or dark room?
hm... a bit of both. Dark on one side Light on the other.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey?
Slightly wierd lol.

12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?
the one i'm closest to

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching A Man on Fire

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile phone say?
"Make sure martin rings before late!"

15. Who is the coolest person in your life?
Too many <3

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
Bastard.

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
Chellho

18. Last furry thing you touched?
hm.. a rabbit

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Paracetamol

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
3

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
15

22. Your worst enemy?
Claudia

23. What is your current desktop picture?
FFTL

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
See you later

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly which would you choose?
Fly.

26. Do you like someone?
Yeah.

27. The last song you listened to?
"nd Movement of the Odessey

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, what would you do?
Cry. And shoot whoever shot them

29. If you could punch one person in the face who's in your life who would it be?
Claudia. ANd my dad.

30. What is the closest object to your left foot?
Wall. ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9216963/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9216963/ Thu, 29 Jun 2006 02:35:54 PDT
Thank god.

I can tell that i'm going to LOVE the 6 weeks off. Just... chilling... yes, it sounds chav like. Leave me be.

For now, in the next two weeks. I've completed all my science coursework units. (1 and 3.. Have you, Jo?) I've still got to hand in my Jane Eyre essay for English and hopefully understand all the stuff our Maths teacher is cramming down our throats. DT im not even going to bother with (ARE YOU WITH ME JO!!!) cause i hate her and i just really cant be arsed. Plus, i've done the other coursework she set (barely) so she can have that. Music, i have to learn *counts* 2 more songs and complete my Waltz piece. For my songs, i have chosen 'Rock' as my genre (ofcourse) and have already learnt Trivium so... i dont know what else to do! Gah. something that would be easy to compare with trivium.
Example :"Trivium are shit, *chosen band* is not"
Thats how it should be.
And hopefully, i want to do all that before Sunday 9th June.
=/ Unlikely. I just dont want to take coursework on my trip!!
Andy wont be here. It's his last day today for a week cause he's on holiday. but i wont see him for two weeks cause obviously my trip. Gaaaaaaaah. But we're going Drayton Manor anyways soooo it's not all bad. Meyah... Wth? Im in a random mood.

I'll go finish my ICT coursework now. ¬¬

Ola
Shinzy xx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9195576/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/9195576/ Tue, 27 Jun 2006 03:26:52 PDT
It wouldn't let me finish off my other journal so in a fit of rage i deleted it.

Hmmph.

So, yes. Getting annoyed by immature people. It's really bad. I know this sounds really childish and pathetic of me but it hasn't been this bad before. I normally would just leave them to it but it's just too much now.... lol. I have to laugh at it. It's not a good time to be immature. We're year 11 now and should be (finally) acting our age but you get those that think they'd be able to fly through their GCSE's when clearly they dont have the academics to do that.

Grrrr.

Also, i got ticked off about a VERY stupid girl who thinks she can call me a bitch. I hate her. I defended myself and said i clearly wasnt a bitch and that she didnt have the right to call me that but someone from behind burnt my hair and a big fuse went about it. I wasn't that much bothered about my hair (well, at the time i was crying......) but still. She moved schools last year to go back to Portugal but for some strange reason that no one knows she's back; causing more hassle then she did before.

Though, on the good side. She is being "dealt with". Meh.
So, in the intervals of Andy not being at my house, i've been writing a story WHICH the first character has been submitted.
It's called Mid-Summer High. Hmm... strange name i know.
But i like it. It's about the struggles of a teenagers life and stuff. Quite good may i say so myself. I've put some of my personal experiences in it aswell so it's very important to me.

Hmm... nothing else to comment on. apart from....

OH YEAH ONLY A WEEK AND 5 DAYS TILL MY TRIP

Yeah, im going to De Monfort Hall Uni for 4 days. It's a Forensic enterprise thing and i think it'll be great.

Ola
Shinzy xx

Another Edit piece. Just wanted this in here for some strange reason....

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_____6____6_I_Love_ 9____9_____
______6_6____________9_9______
______66____~Andy~____99____
____6___6____________9___9____
__6______6__________9______9__
_6666666666666699999999999999_
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______________69______________ ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8874903/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8874903/ Thu, 25 May 2006 14:49:05 PDT Atreyu - Her Portrait In Black

I once again apologise for my absence.
It's been hectic again this week. This Monday i had my Food Tech exam followed by a Humanities exam. Wednesday was my RE exam and tommorrow i have another Humanities exam. I hate it.
I have no hopes of passing...

Next week is half term so i'll be revising like mad AND trying to keep as much of my social life as i possibly can.

For, the first day back (5th June) i have a Mathematics exam and on the 7th i have a Science exam... but i have two more Mathematics exams; Statistics and Non-Calculator. >.<

As for the social life, it's going quite well. June 18th is THE sleepover of a lifetime ha. I'm actually surprised i was invited but it's going to be "awesome" so i'm happy about that.
Next tuesday (3 week anniversary for me and Andy woo) will be quite slow seeing as the partner will be in Blackpool! I was supposed to go but my parents are clamping down on our time together. Gah. Darn.
Also, apparently (to my delight) I might be going V Fest with Jo and Ade... Like Yay!
So, im happy.
The KKK lads are off me and Andy's back now so we can go into town without hiding. *phew*

Sweet is my emo Andy. We've planned what we're doing for prom next year. Ha, it's going to be amazing.
Yes, i am aware we are moving pretty fast... The conversations we have are great and i sometimes step back and say "whoah...... "
For normally, it would have taken me around 3 months to get where me and Andy are now if i were with someone else... Meh...
But when you start talking about weddings and kids, it's a bit of a er... STEP..

Well, i have to go around commenting now.. see ya soon

xxx Shinzy xxx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8794946/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8794946/ Wed, 17 May 2006 04:48:58 PDT I have my exams in about 2 weeks and i have done nothing to prepare for them.
Also, i don't really know where i stand in this world anymore. I try to please people and it goes horribly wrong. *sighs*

At the moment, i'm a disgrace to one of my most valued friends, who's opinions mean alot to me. my drinking habit has taken it's toll and resulted in being called a "drunken idiot" (i'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything... it actually woke me up...)
But in her defence, it wasn't just aimed at me.
I also have another friend who often has ranting fits not just because of me but of the behaviour of another friend who i happen to be with at the time. *gah* The other friend doesn't seem to care but i don't really like the idea of my two friends thinking i'm a bad person and that i have let them down.

I also have guy problems. But not such in a way of being nervous to ask them out or like that, cause to be honest, i'm happily in a relationship now (a week and a day today).
My friend Ash, (the ex drummer) apparently has/had a crush on me since year 8. And now, because of recent events he now hates me and refuses to talk to me. The only time he "spoke" to me was yesterday after school which was him shouting at me saying he will "knock out" my boyfriend if he gives him dirty look again. Which is a load of B.S cause my boyfriend (Andy.. ha coincidence) was merely saying "hi".

So, i wasn't in a good mood at all last night and caused an arguement between me and Andy when we got home (cute) and we thought we was going to split and ended up in tears (yepp, both of us awww) and about after an hour we just turned around and apologised and made up.... ^^

Gah, but i don't know what to do about Ash. The advice so far i've had is to tell him to get over himself... =/

Any other more helpful pointers???

Much love, Shinzy x ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8672243/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8672243/ Thu, 04 May 2006 13:21:38 PDT
Shinzy is going to go back to traditional art.
I'm going to attempt to pick up my anime/manga drawings and improve them. The last time i drew something was back in December sometime i think =/

I've been getting quite interested in the whole shounen-ai, shoujo-ai and yuri manga. But i like shoujo-ai the best. It's so beautiful and the scenarios..... so touching.

With recent events i think i can pull it off. It seems whenever i'm in a bad mood or feeling hurt and alone (¬¬) i can pull off some quality stuff...

Hm...
Short journal only today.
Not feeling too well.

Shinzy
xx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8650842/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8650842/ Tue, 02 May 2006 10:30:17 PDT
Shinzy has become more confident.

Meh...

I FINALLY told this person i have a crush on them. It took me ages to accept the fact that he might even slightly like me back (=/) but today i was feeling good about myself and thought "what the heck?" so i told him. Well, left a message for him.

The problem is, well was, was the whole ordeal of Erik. I don't know if you remember or not (to those that were here around the times i was with him) But Regina is back. Yepp, the evil ex girlfriend, well now girlfriend. It seems he has taken her back to get at me on the site we are all members of. I was thinking of leaving the site because i couldn't stomach them being all lovey dovey and leaving public threads for each other. But, thanks to Chellho i got over it and basically said "f**k em".
I do still love Erik. And it's possible i always will but i'm not being all emotional about it. I generally like this guy and i'm hopeing of not messing up my chances by hanging onto those "left over" feelings for Erik. Meh.... Plus, i'm going to take it REALLY slow if anything comes from this between me and him... (His name is Matt woo...)

I've also noticed that my past ex's have had either 4 lettered names or one syllable:

Erik
Matt
Andy
Dave (David)
Adil
Reece

....... =/

See you all.... xx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8587669/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8587669/ Wed, 26 Apr 2006 01:29:23 PDT heh...

I was sitting in my Humanites lesson, listening to my teacher drawl on about "groups" of people and social groups. Then something she said stuck out to me.
'When teenagers get to a certain point in school, their academic differences and social differences can often make them grow apart and make "groups" of the same, level in a way.'
It just makes alot of sense. Well to me.
And, i'm not saying it's the reason for the recent situation me and my friends are currently in, it just could be a possiblity.
But, i don't think i'll dwell on it. I'm not saying i'm giving up in my friends cause i'll never do that it's just if it does ever come to us not being the once tight unit we were then there is nothing i can do about it. It happens.
As the mighty Kieran once said ()
"if everything falls apart so easily it's not ment to be, it was there to help form our personalities, and the person we are"
Smart man... Can understand why you love him Kate...
But as i was saying... Sorry if i have "i dont care" attitude, but if it does go wrong then.. it's not the end of the world.. moving on won't hurt. There will always be more friends out there and you can always remember the best times. The times when you was happy. You can't always get on with everyone...
I'm sorry if i've wasted your time... i just needed to let it out...

P.S: This is not me spiraling back into my depression and feeling like no one is there for me. It's just me accepting that if i loose friends... It's not the end of the world.
Hugs To All.
xx ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8541043/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8541043/ Fri, 21 Apr 2006 14:19:31 PDT Try Honesty - Billy Talent

Yepp.
I'm back.
Computer fixed shorter than expected.
(i deleted the other journal)

Anywho.
Tommorrow is offically my year of being a Deviant.
Feels great.
I've changed alot.
Woot.
I never knew i possessed so much talent.
Little bit of big headedness for you there.
Yay.
The first of many years to come.
Hopefully, i'll be getting a new digital camera so i can work on my photography.
I'd like to work on different types of art.
I think i've pretty much got the photomanipulation
I'm okay on the traditional drawings.
I'm not so good on poetry and stuff so i'm going to work on that too.
BUT i really can't wait to get my camera. I wouldn't know what to take photos of!
Meh heh.

Went on a little shopping spree with the mother today.
Got my Avenged Sevenfold t shirt. BIG WOOT.
Got a jumper. It's okay, seeing as it has black on it.
A new pair of trainers. Unfortunately not Converse. They're for doing PE. It was so fucking annoying. In JD, (chav central) looking for a plain black pair of anything in my size (6-7 *blushes*) BUT NO. They only things in my size were expensive monstrousities....
Those horrid trainers that look like 6 pairs have been glued together and painted bright yellow. *shudders* So, i resorted to a black,gold and white pair of Addidas.

My We Are Scientists album is majorly scratched so i have to either replace it or steal Jojo's and copy that.

Hm....

Hope you all had a good day.
Shinz
xxx

Oh! And a biggy biggy thanks to those that have stuck with me sonce the beginning.
]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8508875/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8508875/ Tue, 18 Apr 2006 09:26:37 PDT Thanks to my dear friends (on SpeakOut) so, wootey.

On Monday i went to visit my grandad in Tewksbury. I swear to god the first person i seen was wearing a MCR hoodie EXACTLY like mine. ¬¬ I must burn it. Gah, the consequences of joining the cult of a highly mainstream band. So, instead, i'm buying an Avenged Sevenfold one..... Oh so not mainstream.... Honest.
Today, i had to go shopping for my mum so i was happily walking around like i live in my own apartment, have a sucessful job and recently enganged... ¬¬ A lame life i live but it makes me feel good. To spoil it all i was seen by the same person that ruined my chances (if i had any) with Daniel. I quickly said "Hi" and carried on walking to collect my MetalHammer magazine. I was so over the moon when i was holding it in my hands. An unbelievably huge poster of A7X came with it and 2 free CDs. woot. I normally buy the Kerrang! but it seems not to satisfy me anymore. Rock Sound and MetalHammer (occasionally Revolver if im in town) are the mags i buy now. If A7X are featured in Kerrang! however, i'll buy it.
I've quit drinking. Ha, i sound like a 50 year old alcoholic but i'm being serious. I got help from Erik so i'm not alone.
So yes, i've generally cheered up a little. Erik is talking to me on a suitable level now. It's not all "i gotta go now... well i dont but i want to". Gah. We takl about the same things we talked about when we was together like. We send each other songs... But i think he's using them to get at me... ¬¬. For instance, he sent me Ill Nino - How Can I Live Without You... Says it all. Gah, it just makes me feel guilty. Oh well.
I hope you all had a good Easter. I have eaten all mine ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8469449/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8469449/ Fri, 14 Apr 2006 13:01:44 PDT Listening To: Tiesto - Adagio For Strings


Well, if you haven't seen my newly submitted works, i have a new program now which should give me more inspiration now.
Corel Paint Shop Pro X (was has been embedded in head from typng it on my submitions *sighs*) is amazing. I was searching for a Photoshop and for some reason this came up instead and being me i quickly downloaded it and here i am. I find myself getting up at ridiculous hours in the morning and working on photos and art work till stupid hours at night. As i speak, i have 8 works uploaded on my Paint board >.<
It might sound like i have no life but going out isn't so appealing anymore. Everyone around my estate is either bad mouthing me or plain ignoring me. Some "friends" of mine thought it would be funny to sit out on the park, stare at my house and shout stuff to me, knowing full well i'm most likely to hear them seeing as i have my window open ¬¬. I can't be doing with pathetic people right about now. If plans go ahead i should be joining Chelsie at clock tower with all the other rock loving rebels where i'll catch with people i haven't seen in over two weeks and taking trips to T.J's. Chelsie, I have my £3.50 ^^
I'm offically scared to go sleep. Not as much as nightmares but things i shouldn't be dreaming. An example, me having a very intimate moment with my best friends' ex boyfriend... not good.
Bah, that's all that revolves around me at the moment. I haven't even attempted my coursework. Which i really should do seeing as im entered for my GCSE's early! Damn them. No way am i going to pass but it doesn't mean i won't try my best. *sighs again*
Shinzy is so tired.
x ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8449733/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8449733/ Wed, 12 Apr 2006 14:38:56 PDT I thought it was major selfish of me to try and end my life without thanking the people that have put up with me and try to make me see the good. It all came to light after a unnerving conversation with David. Yes, my ex who seeked peace through suicide... but fortunatley it was a dream.
The dream showed me the last moments of us together... The signs i missed. If i was paying enough attention at the time instead of bragging my own happiness then maybe he would be alive right about now. As it may sound, i'm not blameing myself for his death. He was one of the many souls that couldn't handle life... and sought an end. What i'm trying to get at is... In that dream, i felt that i was the cause of his pain, the reason he died. And it made me realise of if i was to have succeeded my attempt... how would my death make the people that care feel? i wouldn't of wanted them to blame themselves or feel that they didnt try hard enough, didnt push enough... I dont know. Maybe im confusing you... I think i'm confusing myself.
I think it's time for me to show my appreciation.
If there is one thing i can do right.
Over the next month or so i'm going to find myself. I don't know if it will be the right change, or a smart change. But if i believe in myself and those that care for me, i'm sure i'll make it there... with them at my side. ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8437031/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8437031/ Tue, 11 Apr 2006 10:33:41 PDT Needed time to recover and all....
Thanks to those who replied to my last thread. I've just read them now and it brought tears to my eyes. Thinking that... if i suceeded then i would of never....
Besides that, I've been okay to some standard.
I have slight burns here and there...
Vomitting....
Headaches that last for days on end....
I guess it's the after effects.
I shall not dwell on it too much though and take up your time.
Just an entry to say that i am fine... to some sort.
I'll try and get back on form as soon as i can.
Meh.
I've submitted a mere piece of work.
I've left solely sentenced comments.
*sighs* ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8384171/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8384171/ Thu, 06 Apr 2006 12:49:16 PDT
Time to face reality Shinzy.
What have you done for yourself?
Nothing.
Well, nothing you can think of.
Yes, there is the fact that you're only 15....
But do all 15 year old's feel like they're the cause of everyone's pain?
Bah, maybe they do. Maybe it's just a thing that everyone goes through when they're 15.
Well, for one: You've felt like this all you're life. It just didnt occur when you turned 15 that precious day.
You put up a great act that night Shinz.
Everyone fell for it.
You're whole life you've acted.... Painted a picture for everyone to believe.

*removes the cap off the needle*

Its time to be yourself Shinz.
Time to stop pretending and face reality.
You're not wanted. You're not needed.
You're an excuse of a life.
It's about time you thought about everyone else for a change.
It wont hurt my dear.

*jabs Shinzy in the arm*

You'll fall into a deep sleep.
And you'll never return.
Be happy in the fact that...... no one will miss you.... ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8364243/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8364243/ Tue, 04 Apr 2006 13:54:00 PDT I'm sorry for the here-but-not-here attitude. I've been piled with so much stress i rarely get online. Or when i do, i don't have the energy or the spontaneity that i usually have. I recently (well, yesterday) broke up with Erik. Yeah, the man i thought i would spend my life with. It feels weird. To have to go online and know that it won't be for him anymore. I explained everything to him and said we had to be realistic. But i don't think he wants to be friends.... i don't think he wants to know me.... speak to me ever again. He leaves to go have a walk and smoke and do drugs and is so hostile to me. Today, has been a collective day of crying, puking and plain depression beyond my control. I never knew that a simple online relationship could take such a toll on one's life. Made me think of the lack of human contact i recieve. To be so involved with someone across the screen... Depressed of the thought that he may never meet you or never give you those kisses you long for but would only shy away and make a blockade of your emoticons if he were to be here. I think... the more i think of it.... the more i realise that i was in love with him purely of the fact that we had boundaries. That no matter how much we wanted, we could never get close as a normal couple would. And i think i liked that. Knowing that i could hide my emoticons and say a simple word that could change the conversation entirely. As much as i wanted him to be here with me, a part of me didn't. I don't know....
I just want to get on with my life now. Which, it seems to be going all wrong. With mixed feelings being everywhere, it's hard not to think of them. A close friend of mine is as much all over the place like me. And, i'm also unable to face my science lessons thanks to a so called friend who has been spreading so much lies about me. About a boy ofcourse. I never knew a simple "i think he's quite cute" would spark up so much...shit. Not only has she been ringing him and telling him that i "love" him but she has also threatened me. "If you dont talk to me i'll tell him that you want tog o out with him" yes, it might be a lame threat but when you get it for about 2 weeks it gets to you. I just want to sleep.... like, forever. ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8294129/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8294129/ Tue, 28 Mar 2006 11:40:11 PST The club joining listings. Im searching for an Avenged Sevenfold club but i couldnt remember the links. So, if you lot are looking for joining any clubs.... GOT THE LIST RIGHT HERE! woo. Thank me later.

~dagroups
~Clubz
~communities
~Clubs-Club
~TheList
~nekolisting
~ClubListings
~devART-Group-Listing
~Club-List
~DAclubs ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8265809/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8265809/ Sun, 26 Mar 2006 13:46:53 PST
Obessive Complusive SYNYSTER Disorder.
*sighs*
Here is pictures... lame ones thou. He is wearing the hat!
[link]
[link]

Here are my symptoms:
~~~ I find myself quoting lines from his interviews.
~~~ Donned the name "Shinyster".
~~~ Find conversations boring if it doesnt include; Synyster Gates, Avenged Sevenfold or Schecter guitars.
~~~ Copying his famous accessory; trilby hats.
~~~ Copying his enthusiasm and stance when playing guitar.
~~~ Plays back to back with my left handed cousin (who is 7)
~~~ Has accumilated over 88 Synyster Gates related pictures in the space of 3 days. (on home computer and school computer)
~~~ Have over 14 posters (mostly from Kerrang! and Rocksound) all over my wardrobe.
~~~ Made my own t shirt with "Synyster Gates" on the front.
~~~ has over 4 accounts named "synyster_shinzy"
~~~ "Brian Haner" is the password to my master login, bank account, mobile phone registeration, 6 websites ive joined and my school email address.
~~~ Told my parents that he's the father of my child.
~~~ Has learnt most of his solos and shows off an exceeding ammount to my family.
~~~ Sings only his lines on the "City Of Evil" album.
~~~ Tell my brother to turn up "Blinded In Chains" on Need For Speed Most Wanted while he's racing.
~~~ Trying to make July 7 an annual holiday.
~~~ Occasionaly writes "syny-ster" on my knuckles.
~~~ At the moment, hunting around town for a red watch.
~~~ Runs around home with make up down my cheeks.
~~~ Imitates his voice.
~~~ Shouts at the Harlot bitch in "Beast And The Harlot" video when it gets to the scene where she's with him.
~~~ Find myself smiling an unbelievable ammount whenever i watch the live videos. Especially "Burn It Down"
~~~ Feel like i'm about to cry when searching and drooling at my collection of photos.
~~~http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8208195/ Sun, 19 Mar 2006 14:41:11 PST
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]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8122384/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8122384/ Fri, 10 Mar 2006 14:38:37 PST
Apart from the promoting side, Ive been doing quite well this week.
I'm designing my own shirts and clothing now. Its going okay. Ive done 2 shirts so far. Really dudey.
MY JIMI HENDRIX SHIRT HAS A HOLE IN IT!
im so guted. I love that shirt. Damn Voodoo!!! Grrr....
Im so tired its unbelievable. Ive got coursework upto my eyeballs.
Maths,Humanities,Re,ICT,English,Science,DT EVERYTHING
Grrr..... ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8094152/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8094152/ Tue, 07 Mar 2006 14:13:16 PST
So recently, well for the past 2 years... My knees have been known to fuck up... And on Friday, doing Aerobics my joints locked up and i had to get wheel chaired out and i had to be on crutches this past weekend and i've only stopped limping today....
I went Doctors this afternoon. He said, seeing as my father has Sickel Cell disease there is a chance that i have inherited it....
Thanks a fucking bunch.... the only thing he seems to have given me in my entire lifetime is the same disease that has fucked him up and made him into the psycho he is...
Also my sister has had a history of Thrombosis as well... (it gets better)....
Wow, im pretty much fucked aswell seeing as i also have to have brain scans now that my father has an Aneurysm.....
I dont feel too good.....

Also, in recent news... Im going to be a Child Psychologist... ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8047356/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8047356/ Thu, 02 Mar 2006 13:54:43 PST Recently in my ICT classes -which are absolutely boring- we've been given a task to do. We have to make these presentations and stuff. Fortunatley we can do anything we want. So i wanted to do something that is a bit lenghty but i know lots about.. LIGHTBULB!!! Pwhoar seriously, its looks fantastic! Im so arrogant i know but i know im going to get a distinction... I never say anything good about my work but this is FAB! I cant stop talking about it. Every time i get some spare time on computers in any lesson im always working on it.... its terrible... its like a disease... XD
Its balck and pink but i have the ULTIMATE font! it just says "The-absolute-ultimate-metal-font". And ive got guitars everywhere and links to Sub Genres and stuff... Tis really greaT!!!! lol. ~sonicbutterfly agrees... and i have my all knowing ancient historian Kezran to help me too. ^^
Muahahahaha grand job. ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8018600/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/8018600/ Mon, 27 Feb 2006 13:57:52 PST
Download Festival
*dances* There is a possibility that im going woo. My mum is using bribery on me... but hey! when its as good as getting to go Download i don't mind. I WANNA SEE BULLET!!! and... the rest ^^
Im happy... but im bummed that its like £115 a ticket... and there's four of us... =S Gah, we're hoping my dad can sort it out lol.
Im also bummed at the fact that [link] has been fucking sold and the dude that owned it didnt have the guts to tell anyone about it!! FUCKER!!!

Gah, im so bored.... my art has withered..... ¬¬
Oh well.... byies xxx

~I Am An Artist.My Art Is Death.I Am About To Paint My Masterpiece~ ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7968534/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7968534/ Wed, 22 Feb 2006 04:58:55 PST

Stupid teachers....
Since recent events happening in the Shinzy household, i thought i should cheer myself up. So i was chatting to ~sonicbutterfly about this amazing new book of hers and bitching about Ex-Harlequin drummer Ashkan buying a NEW FUCKING JACKSON GUITAR- WHICH by the way is the (IMO) BEST brand for a guitar and hows he is a ego-manic.... Anywho... back to topic.
Me and Jo was laughing hysterically when our "i-have-a-better-degree-than-you" supply teacher, Mrs.Flude, was raving on saying Jo was "yakking" and she should stop. YAKKING!!! it even isn't a word in the dictionary. WHICH Jo did prove BUT being the fool she is, Mrs.Flude checked herself and moaned about it was and pointed at 'yak' AH HA!!! POINT MADE!! She said 'yakking' was in the dictionary NOT 'yak'.... ANyway, We carried on laughing when she couldnt spell 'Strength'...... ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7949478/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7949478/ Mon, 20 Feb 2006 14:22:03 PST They've come quite soon but as soon as i turned 15 i knew they would come... seeing as my now certain teen age has arrived it becomes an excuse for my mother to blame me for everything that goes wrong... (you would think i've gotten used to it by now... *shrugs*) Well, she knows what she can do with that. If she wants me out then fine by me.... I've got bigger problems...
Like this Simon guy at work.... In his own little world he thinks he has the liberty to feel me up as much as possible...
Thats not the biggest problem i have right now...
I totally became a prick on Friday... I was going to ask Erik the important question i have had in my mind for about a month now but i cowardly backed out from asking... which to him was quite hurtful seeing as now he thinks i don't trust him and he thinks i don't want to be with him... *sighes* but on Saturday i told him what i as going to ask and how i felt like a total twat if i was to ask him.... i didnt really get a response... Just a "well maybe i'll ask you someday.." Very unlikely.....
I hate my life..... ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7907191/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7907191/ Wed, 15 Feb 2006 14:05:17 PST
Yes, that is what i said to my nurse for my revamp on the Tetanus jab.... Ive only been 15 for 4 days and they already sent a letter asking for those stupid update things GRRRR..... My mate, Ellie didnt have hers till 3 weeks after!!! DAMN THOSE DOCTORS!!!

I quickly apologised to the nurse and walked out....
I really hate needles... Honestly! I'd be a pretty useless Junkie...
"i want drugs BUT NO!! NOT THE NEEDLE!" Fucking things....
And what made me laugh was my sweet brother who says "Sis, i'll take it for you" as sweet as it was it wouldnt actually help seeing as i still could of died from tetanus if i got it.... awwwwh bless....
I HATE NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDLES! ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7853329/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7853329/ Fri, 10 Feb 2006 06:18:38 PST Gah, 'so what is the almighty getting for her birthday?' i hear you ask.... well, i might of said before i'm finally getting my gorgeous red Bandit guitar... WHICH in fact i have learnt that Bandit isnt a rip off make its actually a spin off make from Gibson so its quite a good 'un.... I also got my Muse album of ~sonicbutterfly today which im very grateful for.... A jazzy furry pink checkered belt from ~photography-chels and a pretty diary from Kate. And the usual surprise presents from the grandparents and other relatives....
Boo, i don't feel .... whats the word... wiser? older? meaner? moodier, happier?.... im just... blurrrrr...... Yes i am aware that 'blurrrrr' isnt a feeling but its all that i feel.... i dont feel like ive accomplished much that a normal 15 year old adolescent should....
In other news... i have become a stalker.... seeing as my lovely Erik is in Norway, a strikely blue eyed male has caught my attention... its not like im head over heels for him its just... think of it like this.... i go round saying "Matt TUCK my virginity" because i think he's abso gorgeous.... but i know that never in a million years i would go out with him (maybe the fact he's famous and im not.... ) And its kind of like that with Daniel... He is a nice guy, has a funny personality, bit dumb, does sports.... has AMAZINGLY gorgeous blue eyes... BUT i dont want to go out with him... even if i was single i still wouldnt....
Gah, help me.... ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7800914/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7800914/ Sat, 04 Feb 2006 15:23:19 PST D D D D ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7790867/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7790867/ Fri, 03 Feb 2006 14:16:55 PST Listening to: Zeromancer - Hollywood
Mood: Artistic!! For once in a long time ^^

Yes, so in the months of February and March my deviations will be black and white format.... well my photomanipulations will be... and anything else i can do
Seeing as its my birthday next Saturday im hoping to get some really kewl gear... Like my guitar and digital camera
Ah.... i lurve my bdays haha
Im out in town tomorow for the first time in 4 months!! Terrible i know but i hardly go out... im so busy all the time!!
So, ~photography-chels,Katie and Kez are taking me out woo
lol. I gotta get my mums bdaypresent (which unfortunately is the same day as mine lol) and Katie's sister, Beth a present too....
Getting her a MCR tshirt
Im so nice.......
]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7779583/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7779583/ Thu, 02 Feb 2006 10:07:14 PST
Okay so ~sonicbutterfly is allergic to Mango.... (not that she could die or anything just that she'll be sick)
And all our mates had mango drinks (well mango concentrate stuff)and she had an orange one so i was going to put some in her drink but i didnt cause i thought it would be mean but NO Kate has to go and put some in..... yeah i know its mean and a stupid thing to do seeing at the time we didnt know how she would react and stuff but for the record Kate felt really bad for doing it..... but Jo (sonic) went REALLY hyper and i mean totally losing control!!! She had fits of laughter all the time!! like the laughter were its just silence but you can tell she is cause of her facial expressions
We apologized after and told her what we done but she said its okay......
Terrible.... ]]> ~shinzy http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7723767/ http://shinzy.deviantart.com/journal/7723767/ Fri, 27 Jan 2006 14:16:40 PST Listening to: Hypnotize - System Of A Down
So, here's the bands/historical events/news i've stumbled upon....

Bands

~~~Panic! At The Disco
This band is amazing!! I heard "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off " tonight and i was like "woooooooo" hehe. ~sonicbutterfly likes them too. I think its the first badn me and her have actually agreed on To me they sound emo but im not sure if they are or not (it never said they were in Kerrang! 1092) but if you're into "emo" then i'd check em out! Im soooo getting the album ^^


~~~Bleeding Through
For those who love something heavier i suggest these guys. Foooking amazing. I bought the album last week and its on repeat all the time. I suggest you listen to "Love Lost In A Hail Of Gunfire" Really good... plus the keyboardist is a FEMALE!!! muahahhaha

~~~Hawthorne Heights
YAY THEY'RE BACK!!! ^^ oooooh i love them sooo! Kings Of Emo i tells ya. The new album is called "If Only You Were Lonely" i suggest you get it!! i know i am hahahaha


Historical Events
~~~ Tiananmen Square
Just listening to Hypnotize and in the opening lyrics...
"Why don't you ask the kids at Tiananmen square?
Was Fashion the reason why they were there?"
So, instead of walking around singing the lines... how about find out what they mean... so i did... and i was like "oh my god.."
i was truely shocked when i was reading about it...

News
Im gay lmao
I didnt have any news but you know.... ]]> ~shinzy