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]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/11900766/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/11900766/ Tue, 20 Feb 2007 20:17:56 PST
It's like this: I don't want to have kids. I don't ever need to have my own. I don't want to get married. In fact, the feeling of a ring on that particular finger makes me dry heave when it doesn't make me vomit a little in my mouth. That making some kind of small difference in the lives of some people makes me feel good about where I am is what it is. I love my job, and there's room for advancement that I'm into pursuing. I'm going to stick around this town to get that. I'm going to stick around this town to figure out where this is going.

I love that I'm getting more independent. It's a bizzare feeling. Maybe it's called being in your twenties. My car plans have changed. My uncle, ironically enough, the bail bondsman-- has been incarcerated for a few months due to his nine-millionth DUI. I found out accidentally, and it's nothing new- being disappointed by dad's family. I'm really tired of being disappointed... some moments it seems overwhelming- whether it's my dad's family or that particular person at the office who so rarely comes through or turning on the news. I'm deciding that the important thing is to stay positive, because nobody needs that pattern of responding to being let down by being harder on oneself and others: that's trying to make forward motion by digging underground. For every bit of insanity, each repeating conclusion, I can't help but laugh, and I can't help but look over and remember Monty Python (*bright side & all*).

I love that airplane taking off, love it landing, after being sick in the beautiful falling frozen snow, working for a week straight, to suddenly appearing on a warm beach, playing in the rolling waves and tossing a frisbee all weekend... grammar be damned, I finally have time off & it ends soon, so it's time for my tiny recap to end, and for me to go keep enjoying my four-day weekend.
.Love.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/11900763/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/11900763/ Tue, 20 Feb 2007 20:17:16 PST It's like this: I don't want kids now. I don't ever need to have my own. I don't want to get married. In fact, the feeling of a ring on that particular finger makes me dry heave when it doesn't make me vomit a little in my mouth. That making some kind of small difference in the lives of some people makes me feel good about where I am is what it is. I love my job, and there's room for advancement that I'm into pursuing. I'm going to stick around this town to get that. I'm going to stick around this town to figure out where this is going.
I love that I'm getting more indpendent. It's a bizzare feeling. Maybe it's called being in your twenties. My car plans have changed. My uncle, ironically enough, the bail bondsman-- has been incarcerated for a few months due to his nine-millionth DUI. I found out accidentally, and it's nothing new- being disappointed by dad's family. I love landing, after being sick in the beautiful falling frozen snow, working for a week straight, to suddenly appearing on a warm beach, playing in the rolling waves and tossing a frisbee all weekend... grammar be damned, I finally have time off & it ends soon, so it's time for my tiny recap to end, and for me to go keep enjoying my four-day weekend.
.Love.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/10834991/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/10834991/ Fri, 24 Nov 2006 13:40:28 PST

Happy Buy Nothing Day!

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/10573552/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/10573552/ Tue, 31 Oct 2006 16:53:09 PST

Election Babble:
The way I see voting, hard as I try to sell out, I can't vote for someone I wouldn't actually want to see in office. Unless I can look at them and think, "That's my motherfucking candidate, bitches! WHAT!" I just can't vote for them. Otherwise, I'd have to go take a shower... & bathing is for chumps, savvy? Vote, damnit. That's all I'll say about that.

IF YOU VOTE, AND YOU LIVE IN CALIFORNIA:

I'd like you to consider voting for Peter Miguel Camejo. [[link]
Also, Schwarzenegger is a douchenozzle. There are many reasons. If you don't know them, put him next to a woman- he'll probably stick an unwarranted, unwelcome finger into one of her orifices inside five minutes.

I'd like you to consider voting YES on prop 89. It's all about getting the money out of our political system. [[link]

I'd like you do consider voting NO on prop 83. It's all about a new nonsensical, reactionary criminal justice policy.

I'd like you to consider voting NO on prop 85. This one's been around before- it's about mandating parental notification for minor's abortions. This is a bad idea.


About all of the above.... umm "Big whoop, wanna fight about it?"


My life w/o me:
Working too damn much & wanting some fucking time off; enjoying most of what I'm doing.
I'm a terrible human being... for many reasons.

And now for something completely different.
I haven't dated in a while, and I'm getting bored. I'm surrounded by lame women (as opposed to hot, fascinating women), which is bad. Being in an all male environment isn't necessarily better, but I find it easier in that nobody wants to know anything significant about each other. I suck at talking about myself, which is probably reason #873 why I don't date that much or that well. Reason #329- I've felt that most of the people I've dated were worth it pretty early on. For the most part, I think I just hang out with people who I'd kick my own ass for passing by. I'm bored w/myself; I guess I don't know what I think... I suppose I'd rather think about other stuff.

Moving on.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/9863478/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/9863478/ Sat, 26 Aug 2006 14:59:03 PDT

I've got a new job. "Specialist" is in my new title. "Nonprofit" is in the organization's description. I am trying to see the aims of the organization (in which the word "youth" is mentioned) as incidental to the parts of the job that I enjoy. Nonprofit work is supposed to involve goals that one is passionate about. I'm far less than passionate about youth. For the most part, fucked up youth tend to be symptoms of fucked up adults... perhaps more on that later.
I find myself missing my last job, but what else is new? Some places, people, ideas, climates get under your skin, crawl under your rib cage and stay there. Perhaps that's the giant, leaping feeling when one meets another who is significant to them after an absence. The part of them that stayed with you recognizes it's former home, gooey as it is (both the area and the sound of it).
Aside from my ambivalence about the organization, and aside from once again feeling like something of an outsider (shh don't tell them I lipsynched to "the children are our future"!), I like my coworkers. We're getting along pretty well, and having a good time. The place is pretty fun, and laid back. I'm adjusting to not having to be that professional. I haven't had to work with youth much yet, so I'm a little anxious about the prospect of me in a room with thirty odd high school kids. I've committed for one year, and am hoping that a year's experience will look good on a resume, and that I can pick up some tips about grant writing, how nonprofits function, etc while choosing to be amused by the youth, and enjoying the atmosphere.
Sleep has been a utility lately. Falling on the bed when I'm tired, and sinking into sleep moments later. Waking long before I'm ready to, and sometimes remembering brief moments of what must have been dreams hours later. One afternoon last week, I remembered a dream that involved Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, and a dance number.
Maybe Gnarls Barkley is right.
Cheers

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/9410099/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/9410099/ Mon, 17 Jul 2006 20:47:22 PDT

Yes, I am a kitten up in a tree.
I came up to eat a bird & I'll jump down when I please.
Don't you remember? We always land on our feet.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/9345733/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/9345733/ Tue, 11 Jul 2006 16:46:17 PDT

"Nice Guy"- a boy who thinks that he is superior to other men due to his lack of testicles.

So Ben Folds says "if you can't trust, you can't be trusted." I think that trust is something recognized most often when it's absent. Unless one is in the habit of practicing radical doubt, trust is only recognized once it's been given and violated.

When it comes to trust, I think that not trusting people with the little things is foolish. I recognize that with the big things, I'm fairly guarded. Plenty of big stuff is just nobody's business- however you want to slice it, I understand being wary of trusting people with big stuff. That's more of a conscious decision for adults- is it worthwhile to be open with this person, what will come of disclosing this information, etc.

On to the small stuff...
I just had lunch with a friend who has recently returned from China. This is someone I try to get to open up a bit, try to get him to adventure a little, to try new things (however small), etc. He tells me that he ate fish, which he typically avoids like the plague, because a stranger on the street told him it was "the best". So, why trust a stranger when you don't trust your friends? Why not trust your friends? Why does this bug me? Plenty of people do plenty of foolish things, like having friends that you don't trust-- it's the incongruity of it that bothers me.
Anyway.. I don't want to blather on about this. I'll probably post another journal & blather on about something else soon.


*fair winds*

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/9282672/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/9282672/ Wed, 05 Jul 2006 14:38:34 PDT

And now for a little rant, in list form.

Top things I hate about July 4th:

-Fireworks. Yes, they're pretty. They're also just a big 'fuck you' to poor people. They scream "I've got money, so I'm going to go burn it. USA! USA!"
-The song "Proud to be an American"
-That "God Bless America" is sung in Churches.
-People who sing "Born in the USA" as if it's patriotic.
-Flaggots.
-Jingoes.
-"These Colors Don't Run" signs. Wake up- Red, White, & Blue are pretty fucking common national colours. Besides, "running"? Has anyone taken a look at the incidence of obesity in the US lately? That's right- the people who put up those damn signs are too damn fat to run.
-Ugly Americans. The way that some Americans are "ugly" in foreign countries seems to parallel to the way that those same people act on July 4th.
-Imperialist Americans celebrating the Fourth of July without noticing the irony.

Another bit of horror:


]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/9060659/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/9060659/ Tue, 13 Jun 2006 20:45:05 PDT

In every exorcism story, the bit that Catholics love to hear & tell is the part when the possessed is calm while many different religious symbols & representatives are carted out before them. They nod to Buddha, they barely notice the medicine man sitting in the corner. Then, the crucifix comes out, and in walks the old priest, followed by the young priest. The beast has been revealed; the holy water starts to boil & steam. Out comes the pea soup, and that's when it gets exciting.

I'm starting to understand the reaction of the possessed.
Jehovah's witnesses could knock down my door, mormons could hold me captive in their van, Scientologists could tie me to an e-meter & 'counsel' me all day long... and I think i could manage to laugh my way through it. Still, if I have to see the well-intentioned, though subtly snide, expressions of loved ones as they ask me if I've "come back" to the Church yet one more time- I might spew pea soup as well. I know they mean well, I know that's supposed to be an expression of caring- but to be asked if I've come back to an organization that I never willingly joined for the umpteenth time is beyond annoying.
I put up with "realistic" discussions about the 'End Times' & the 'Chastisement', I put up with the "abortion is murder", the church every single Sunday without fail until my eighteenth birthday, the endless discussions about the value of prayer, the urges to "offer it up" every time something went wrong (even though I still don't know what the hell that means... and yes, there were discussions about that as well), and the fun residual nonsense-spite towards Protestants (which, I admit- is the best part about being raised Catholic). If I ever "come back"- you know, overlooking the hefty load of doctrine I disagree with, shrugging off the clergy molestation issue, & decide to buy in to the miracles (because if we can't explain something it must be God) and the promise of eternal cookies if I'm good & eternal Blue Collar Comedy Tour if I'm bad... I'll make a big announcement & everyone who's been trying to get me to 'come home to Jesus' will be the first to know.
Until then, I'd like a little acceptance. A little bit of loving me & finding me worthwhile without the blood of Jesus running down my throat. A little bit of conversation that doesn't involve Jesus & God & the Saints, and a little bit of advice that doesn't involve praying to something I don't believe in. Since that's never going to happen, I think I'm going to have to tell them I've joined a new religion that I just can't stop talking about. After all, I'm sure some of their Bibles are a little worn- perhaps they'd like to buy a new one from me. While they're at it, I'll throw in the Book of Mormon absolutely free!

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8876181/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8876181/ Thu, 25 May 2006 17:12:25 PDT

The stages of grief:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

The other stages of grief:
Numbness
Disorganization
Reorganization

I've never been much for bargaining, not so much for denial. If it doesn't feel real, I still think that I might as well go with it. I guess it's postmodern or something, but I say screw metaphysics and get on with it. I'm never going to know whether or not I'm dreaming, never going to figure out exactly what all this is about- and I'm not even sure I want to. So, taking what's given for what it seems to be... gets us to anger, depression, disorganization, etc a little faster (haha).
This is the Pinocchio of journals. It will be a real journal someday.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8735641/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8735641/ Wed, 10 May 2006 23:01:26 PDT

I've decided to stop answering the "what're you going to do now that you've graduated" question. It's a perfectly normal situation, and it's normal to feel this way (for rather clear reasons), but it feels like someone's died and they're asking me what I'm going to do now. It feels so inappropriate, though everyone gets the question thrown to them... everyone seems to resent it as well. I feel like people I know well have instantly turned into speed-dates or something, asking me this information that should be available just by looking at me- isn't it obvious that I don't know, or that I just don't want to talk about it?

I've decided that I don't have to try to be clever about it, and I don't have to give a stock answer. People don't seem to accept "dig a hole and live in it" as an answer... they just stand there staring at me. So I think honesty might be okay (which would entail something along the lines of "I'm sick of that question, bugger off"). This poses a problem for a graduation announcement (read: traditional-graduate-fishing-for-money-from-relatives). How do I be polite and relatively informative about a topic that has me a little fragile? How do I send these announcements to people who've practically disowned me, knowing that I'll probably get a lecture in return, along with some bs gossip that hits my ears months from now?

I now understand the people who buy those overpriced announcements. When you've done it yourself, it always ends up as a newsletter instead of that simple, standard "I've graduated (so gimmie money, this note's set me back a whole sack of cash)". Well, fuck that. Maybe if I can construct something that looks really cool, nobody will notice that it's only a few words. "I've graduated. I now have a BA in Criminal Justice. I'm looking for work, and hoping to someday to go to graduate school for a MA in Criminology. I'm also hoping to sail to Madeira and set up a hermitage, where I will live on sea creatures then spend an eternity in fishy-hell. If you'd like to get rid of me sooner rather than later- send cash fast."

Other stuff:
The title of the book i'm reading didn't fit in the little box. It's called "We wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families."

Best tv show ever (and by tv show I mean hour-long, downloaded-tasty-commercial-free-bite): Huff.

This is one of those journals that encourages you to post comments.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8667933/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8667933/ Thu, 04 May 2006 01:32:08 PDT

Yesterday, I was listening to Martin Luther King Jr's April 4, 1967 speech about the war in Vietnam. My brother had made a cd of it & left it for me. So I'm driving in Folsom, listening to this speech. This H2 rolls up next to me, it's driver is talking on a cell phone. So there's me listening to MLK talking about charity, about war, about the imbalances of power, wealth, etc... next to this behemoth that appears to signify all that's wrong with the US. So, to hang on to the precious feeling one gets from listening to MLK, I focused on his voice and reminded myself that Peter Camejo lives in Folsom, so the place can't be all bad. Anyway, I highly recommend checking out that speech.

Today, the lovely pimpmobile I call "that car I drive" had a hot little episode. My father & AAA came quickly, and the job interview that I was on my way to Oakland for has been rainchecked. It appears to be that a hose or belt or something has broken, and it's probably easily fixable. So, no worries.

That's all.

Oh yeah- and I've been feeling particularly exhausted by ass holes lately. Whether they're supposed to be my family or random strangers or the tv news... ass holes everywhere and not a mite of sense to see!

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8484869/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8484869/ Sun, 16 Apr 2006 01:57:40 PDT
And now for something slightly similar.
People are placated by details. After the initial, minor shock that one individual feels at hearing of some terrible incident to some distant other individual wears off, they don't have grief or pain to deal with- only the subtle rememberance of what has passed and perhaps the vague feelings of anger, shock, or vulnerabilty felt upon hearing the news. Random images, imprecise and disconnected, remain. A Lous Vitton bag on the ground by a gas pump, it's contents splayed on the stained ground; or, bullet shells on the ground in front of a popular bar. Details are replayed as if they convey substantial information, as if it matters exactly where one person was standing or where another fell.
The important information is always left out- that's always what we try to avoid so that we can continue to be pacified. We, the public, have no grief to overcome, no pain to work through- no stake in what happens except our own stake in maintaining our illusions of safety. Keeping things black and white keeps us secure in our illusions of safety, our ideas of how bad things and good things happen. Thinking of any dead person as flawed is just not done- because people who die tragically somehow pay for all their flaws through their unfortunate, supposedly ill-timed deaths. Thinking of anyone who does something terrible as perhaps an un-terrible person, or even a flawed, but decent, individual in themselves is just not done- because people who commit terrible acts supposedly release themselves of their right to be seen as a whole person [and often, their right to be seen as a person (or simply seen) at all].

I suspect that most of us can imagine walking around each day, being known only for the worst thing someone else thinks we've done. Just that one supposedly bad act, which is itself likely blurred by gossip and the like (ironically, blurred by other people's indiscretions, whether minor or large). Whether that thing was really wrong, whether it was our fault or not doesn't matter. Anything we say after this mistake, or this deliberate act, or this accident will be treated as if it is an excuse- and all of our credibility is gone. If we treated everyone that way, instead of only the people whom the masses (which includes each of us individually, collectively, and the institutions in which we participate) openly allow, and sometimes demand, to be treated that way- we would certainly seem a sorry lot. Everyone would no longer be Tom or Jazmine or Pat- we'd all be Cheaters, Theives, Backstabbers- meanwhile, we'd all be the Oblivious Spouse, the Robbed, the Injured as well.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8469540/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8469540/ Fri, 14 Apr 2006 13:13:15 PDT tagged me!

a. Nearly anything involving the word "balls" makes me laugh. Just saying "balls" often makes me erupt in laughter that just won't stop.

b. Sometimes I commit random acts of vandalism, y'know- to get back at the man in some tiny-little way.

c. I enjoy wearing scrubs. Why? "It's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future." If only I could get a job that allowed me to wear scrubs without being subject to the spewing precious bodily fluids of everyone around me.

d. I love 'bad' (ie fall-ish/winter-ish) weather. This is one of the many factors that contributes to how much I suck at small talk.

e. There's a marine ten feet away from me, behind a corkboard "wall".

f. I tend to run right towards things that scare me.

I will annoy the following people with a big, fat TAG:


]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8315569/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8315569/ Thu, 30 Mar 2006 15:22:44 PST
Stolen from ~sh4vo
"Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
Use the song titles that come up to answer each question.
NO CHEATING." -Author


How does the world see me?:
Utah Phillips & Ani Difranco~ The Most Dangerous Woman

Will I have a happy life?:
Of Montreal~ The Repudiated Immortals

What do people really think of me?:
White Stripes~ Seven Nation Army

Do people secretly lust after me?:
Zero 7~ Polaris

How can I make myself happy?
Frou Frou~ Close Up

What should I do with my life?
David Bowie~ Changes

Will I ever have children?:
Belle & Sebastian~ Dress Up in You

What is some good advice for me?:
Panic! at the Disco~ Boys Will be Boys

What do I think my current theme song is?:
Fiona Apple~ Use Me

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?:
Aimee Mann~ Calling it Quits

What song will play at my funeral?:
Paramore~ Emergency

What type of men/women do you like?:
Gang of Four~ Damaged Goods

What is my day going to be like?
Arctic Monkeys~ I bet that you look good on the dance floor

Why am I here?
The Features~ The Idea of Growing Old

What will people remember me for?
Architecture in Helsinki~ The Owls Go

What song will I get stuck in my head tomorrow?
Butterfly Boucher~ Life is Short

Are there people outside waiting to take me away?
Manu Chao~ Bongo Bong

What will this year be all about?
Architecture in Helsinki~ Kindling

That was a bit more accurate and depressing than I thought it would be. Good for a few laughs, though. I'll dance anyway.


]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8236781/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8236781/ Wed, 22 Mar 2006 13:09:35 PST
My godparents are in a little uprising over nothing. Phone call dive-bombs & email rockets are coming my way. I guess they don't know I'm relieving them of their duties anyway, that I'm not Catholic anyway, but they don't know me anyway, so they don't know I don't care. No worries. One day they'll find out that my father -their brother- knows all the smack they talk about his kids. One day they'll figure out why he doesn't respond. He seems to be on the right track here... although a bitch-slap or two (or just telling them that they're cookoobananas) might shut them up quicker.

Also, the war's going to go on forever until someone decides that staying in won't do any good anyway, and until someone pushes king george out of office... just to show that one can't have that much blood on their hands & retire well despite it.

bang-b-b-bang-go

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8097084/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/8097084/ Tue, 07 Mar 2006 19:13:28 PST [link]

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7967689/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7967689/ Wed, 22 Feb 2006 00:49:17 PST [link]

I feel physically ill after reading this article. For even more nausea, check out the forum post entitled, "Not a virgin? Sex crimes aren't as serious" (where yr directed to the same link).
This is another blow to women from Italy- the reason for "Denim Day"
[FMI re. Denim Day: [link] ]

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7957558/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7957558/ Wed, 22 Feb 2006 01:23:59 PST
[link]

Michael Morales is being allowed to live, for now.

FMI: [link]

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7908503/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7908503/ Wed, 15 Feb 2006 16:30:42 PST This dream features Matt Lucas ([link]) of Little Britain (one of the funniest shows around) as a rather rabid criminal. I was in prison, watching him be released. He was someone I was uncomfortable with inside, and he seemed fixated on me. I hadn't wronged him, in fact I had very few interactions with him- most of which were nonverbal (nonetheless, I knew things about him from his file and from what other inmates had disclosed about him in the form of warnings to me). He was fixated, though, and being released on parole. One officer I trusted somewhat was there, but Matt kept trying to touch me, kept staring at me while he was being moved along on the sort of chair elevators that the wheelchair bound use.
I was trying to keep feeling safe, knowing that the officer being around (even with what little trust I had in him) was the safest I was going to feel for a while. Finally, he was released, and I went to meet some friends for coffee (after work- I think they let me go early because of this guy). As we were parting company, I saw Matt in the parking lot. He was staring at my friends as I walked them to their cars. I was doing various things to protect them, but I knew that they were vulnerable now because of me. I had a sinking feeling, guilty and shameful for exposing them to this, but felt that he was not coming for them, and knew that he may be too crazy too accomplish his goals.
Later, I ended up at a friend's parent's house- it was some sort of gathering that was ending. We were all leaving and Matt was waiting for me outside the house. There was a small crowd, and a boy I had a crush on in elementary school appeared at the front of the crowd (as an adult), near Matt. I felt locked in this second for days- Matt, this boy, and I staring at each other across the crowd. I was called back into the house to look at photos, and came back quickly as the boy started singing. For some reason, the crowd was the same- as if everything was moving slowly, as if we were all waiting or paused. He started singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and others joined in. I don't know why. Then I joined in, and I could only hear his and my voices. I stared right at Matt and I didn't care. I knew I could handle it, and even if I'm going to be tortured and killed in some horrible way, I thought- so be it. Bring it on.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7902324/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7902324/ Wed, 15 Feb 2006 00:59:46 PST
SSU has invented new bullshit requirements that can't possibly be met this semester, and I'm pushing every way that I can- writing my representatives, submitting my petitions, keeping on top of all the pushing and trying to see all the angles. The problematic part is that they're behind me and I'm prone. My hands are free, so I'm feeling like I'm grabbing at straws, screaming, and nobody can hear me.

So, I've been keeping my father apprised, and he's helping me out tremendously. He hears the important information, and he advises me. That helps, and I feel that without his help I couldn't get myself through this system.

What I haven't said is that I've been feeling crippled by depression, anorexia, anxiety- the list is back. The list of the shit I've gone through, self inflicted and otherwise, returned with these massive transitions and setbacks. Moving, fighting, trying to stay afloat.

I still haven't told anyone the best part yet.
I am recovering. I'm healing fast. I hate that in two minutes I went from knowing I was graduating in a matter of weeks to trying desperately to hold on to the idea of graduation as a possibility. Nonetheless, I've held onto that idea, and it's not going anywhere. Nor am I.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7878995/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7878995/ Sun, 12 Feb 2006 23:56:46 PST

[link] ]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7374064/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7374064/ Wed, 21 Dec 2005 14:42:18 PST
Here's his site: [link]

He was recently awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature, and his acceptance speech is fascinating to say the least. I suggest you check it out (there's a link on the aforementioned page- it takes you here: [link]).

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7141376/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7141376/ Fri, 25 Nov 2005 13:59:21 PST [link]

Today, I'm trying to get this paper about New Generation Jails finished. I've completely overbooked this week, and I'm struggling to fight my way out of the stapled-shut-paper-bag I've stuck myself in. The semester is nearing it's end, so it's that point when we (the poor students of the world) can all get a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel- but we're not quite sure that it isn't an oncoming train.
So, off to writing this paper then. It'd make a pretty cool project to do timelapse video of students writing their papers (one at a time- like, using the computer's camera or something)...
Back to work!

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7065007/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7065007/ Wed, 16 Nov 2005 15:33:54 PST Restorative justice is an approach to peacemaking, conflict resolution, community building, and criminal justice that is innovative, interesting, challenging..... I like restorative justice, I can't say enough good things about it. I've studied it in university, and I'm thinking about having an emphasis on it in grad school, but I'm not sure yet- anyway, if yr interested, these links are full of cool info:
[link]
[link]

Also~ Thank you all for the lovely birthday wishes

This is the Koala Bros "Helping Song"
Just a cool kids show with a nice message.
The Koala Bros are great Definitely the kind of kids show I want my nephew & niece to be watching!

If you see a friend's in trouble and you don't know why,
Don't look away and just walk on by,
Sometimes things can turn out wrong,
You could be the one that helps them along!


Always try to help,
Care for one another!
Always try to help,
Share what you have with others!
Always try to help,
Be kind to everyone!
Helping others is lots of fun!


Everyone has dreams that you could help come true
Helping them will make you happy too
Look out for one another, whatever you do
Because if you help others
They'll help you!!


Always try to help,
Care for one another.
Always try to help,
Share what you have with others.
Always try to help,
Be kind to everyone!
Helping others is lots of fun!
Helping others is lots of fun!

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7013340/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7013340/ Thu, 10 Nov 2005 21:07:39 PST


Happy Veteran's Day & Happy Rememberance Day to everyone!

Cheers

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7004539/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/7004539/ Wed, 09 Nov 2005 21:46:21 PST To see the outcome of the California Special Election, go to [link] & click on the link to the returns.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/6925657/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/6925657/ Tue, 01 Nov 2005 12:15:57 PST
Here's the site of the "Yes on 73" people:
[link]

Here's the site of the "No on 73" people:
[link]

I'm against Prop 73.
I hope it fails... Miserably.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/6751157/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/6751157/ Wed, 12 Oct 2005 18:18:02 PDT
Ah- funny newsmedia moment: After displaying some very complimentary notes written from Harriet Miers to George W. Bush, CNN's Anderson Cooper (who is... a pompous ass) commented (I shit you not), "No word yet as to whether or not she dotted her i's with hearts."
There was no point to this journal except that I think that shit's funny, and that I wanted to clear that other journal.
Cheers

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/6683703/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/6683703/ Wed, 05 Oct 2005 03:42:40 PDT Anyway, I wanted to vent in some tangible way so there it is. Feel free to tell me how nonsensical or I don't know- whatever you think about it. Whatever cheers to the devArt crowd, and all the great ppl in my friends box!

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/5887996/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/5887996/ Sat, 09 Jul 2005 17:03:47 PDT I've got Live8 on in the other room, and I think it's great for bands like Coldplay to come out and try to educate the masses, and to raise voices and funds for the causes that are important to them. Still, Bob Geldof is a chump and all the bands who could give less than a shit about AIDS and poverty in Africa make a mockery of the efforts of those who are working for change. This is the same *Sir* Bob Geldof (knighted following Live Aid) who organized Live Aid and the song "Do they know it's Christmas?". I'm guessing the poor children don't know it's Christmas, and they don't give a shit because they're not fucking Christian. That's like saying it's such a shame that the kids don't know it's July Fourth... and I'm not going to say a word about that jingofest lest I be put on someone's terror watch list. There's a problem when nobody notices that Phil Collins' is lauded for his special little Live Aid concord flight which wasted a massive amount of resources that could have gone to the cause he purported to care so much about.
The short list of bands/people who suck for pretending to give a shit about Africa, AIDS, and poverty to make a buck for themselves: Elton John, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Snoop Dogg, Faith Hill (who cares about literacy and supports gdub), Tim McGraw (Faith Hill's honky accessory), Destiny's Child, Josh Groban (clearly, we knew he was a douchenozzle to begin with), Linkin Park, and how they let this asshole on stage with a straight face I don't know- the worst of them all~ Toby Keith (the fuckhead who made up "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue"- if you're feeling masochistic, take a look at those lyrics).

So, right on for those trying to do some good, and fuck the bastards who exploit the good will of others, and who exploit suffering for personal gain.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/5337568/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/5337568/ Thu, 12 May 2005 10:03:52 PDT Haunted contains poems and short stories that are all connected in a larger story. One of those short stories is called Guts, and it's posted here: [link]
He's coming to Berkeley and San Francisco next weekend. Guess where I'll be.

For all things Chuck, visit the Cult: [link]

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/5057000/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/5057000/ Mon, 11 Apr 2005 02:56:15 PDT something the history books usually leave out: when our so-called righteous revolutionary founding fathers dumped all of that tea into the harbour, they dressed up as Native Americans so as to avoid identification and capture.

i just saw Angels in America. "the world only spins forward." I am thinking on this.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4780678/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4780678/ Thu, 10 Mar 2005 19:35:08 PST
]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4766093/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4766093/ Wed, 09 Mar 2005 04:10:25 PST [link]
I think you should. It's funny and educational!

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4711898/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4711898/ Wed, 02 Mar 2005 14:27:16 PST [link] ) She is so cool, and had a lot to say. Her story is amazing, and has such an impact.
There are so many things that we will lose if we don't get up every day and decide to live them and work for them- peace is one of them. We have to keep reminding ourselves or simply acknowledging in ourselves that we have the capability for love as well as hate, for war as well as peace. When we choose peace we have to choose it every day, and our memories must be long.

I think I'm going to have to buy her book now! Her perspective is so unique. She is so rare in that she acknowledges anger as a positive motivator in her experience. Her anger helped her to survive. I think that rings so true, and so often we try to quell anger that can be very useful to us in taking positive action.

Thinking of it now, my mind is drifting to Out of Africa, one of my favourite movies, wherein the main character (Karin) says of her friend Denys, "Perhaps he know, as I did not, that the world was made round so that we could not see too far down the road."

I'll leave you with that ::

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4557359/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4557359/ Fri, 11 Feb 2005 20:01:24 PST The one class I'm taking that's lower division is a discussion group about CJA stuff: all we have to do is pick out articles from the news (then write a short bit about them) and talk about them. I think there are a lot of people who are newer to criminal justice in the class (because it's supposed to be a component to an intro class- I have to take it because it's one of those "in residence" requirements that my advisor wouldn't wave).
Here's the point (finally!): I hate most CJA majors. For the most part, wherever you go inside the USA, CJA majors are willfully ignorant people who don't want to learn anything aside from police tactics.
I really enjoy criminology- the material is so interesting to me, and there is so much opportunity to solve problems (because there are so many problems). There is so much potential for positive change and growth in many of the people inside the system- and it's a newer field, so there's all sorts of research that hasn't been done yet.
The people that I have to work with are a completely different story. It's not a happy story... and I'm not sure how it ends.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4545698/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4545698/ Thu, 10 Feb 2005 11:51:14 PST

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4534994/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4534994/ Wed, 09 Feb 2005 03:18:53 PST I'm always curious about other people's opinions concerning the death penalty, and their justifications either way. Please feel free to comment- anyone who reads this

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4424719/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4424719/ Wed, 26 Jan 2005 22:32:59 PST
]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4036069/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/4036069/ Fri, 10 Dec 2004 15:28:53 PST
I think the red states should try to start another civil war... because I'd just let them go.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/3757304/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/3757304/ Fri, 05 Nov 2004 01:57:25 PST
President Dwight Eisenhower April 16, 1953

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/3749148/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/3749148/ Thu, 04 Nov 2004 02:17:06 PST
Must be the season of the witch....
All these states in the middle of the country are all about Bush- and are also pissing themselves about terrorism. Meanwhile, all the states who have shit that would actually cause a spectacle if they were to be bombed voted for Kerry.
CNN says we had the highest voter turnout since 1968. We also had the largest protests since the Vietnam war. Even so, what were the big issues that got people out to the polls? Gay marriage and abortion. Neither candidate wanted to end the war.
Some churches were actually telling their members to vote for Bush.
I can't believe the Catholics in this-- the Pope is, for the most part, against the death penalty [Bush executed 400 people in Texas, including the mentally ill and those convicted while juvenilles]. The Pope is also against the war in Iraq and he has pointed out that the whole doctrine of pre-emptive war raises serious moral questions. Yet, somehow, abortion is the most important issue overriding all the rest. I don't know why the priests couldn't advocate an independent candidate that agrees with them on more than that one issue.
I want to blame Christians for this next four years of shit.
A recent study in Lancer puts the number of civilians killed in Iraq at 100,000... and counting.
With some presidents, one has the hope that perhaps they'll die and someone better will fill in. But all the way down the line of people who would replace Bush in the event of a fatal pretzel- it only seems to get worse.
America is Bush's new Arbusto.

]]> ~snowpiece http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/3730523/ http://snowpiece.deviantart.com/journal/3730523/ Tue, 02 Nov 2004 03:19:55 PST
I think it's time to update this voting system we've got. And I don't mean touch-screen voting! Instant Runoff yo!

[link]

]]> ~snowpiece