http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:spaceman40&section=today deviantART RSS for by:spaceman40 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:41:33 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/1249245/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/1249245/ Tue, 07 Oct 2003 23:10:04 PDT Cec905: good...I'd have to hunt you down...
SpacemanPi: yikes!
Cec905: and I mean that in the best possible way ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/550276/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/550276/ Tue, 18 Mar 2003 00:08:58 PST
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Auto response from SpacemanPi: Out somewhere with Sydney having lots of fun. :-D
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SinnerVIP793: oh shuddup
]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/529550/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/529550/ Fri, 07 Mar 2003 01:03:01 PST ...
Living4FSH: make me smile
...
Living4FSH: you look at me...
Living4FSH: and your eyes just melt me
Living4FSH: you look so peaceful

...

sigh... ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/519444/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/519444/ Fri, 28 Feb 2003 23:27:52 PST
Gonna go to sleep. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/517779/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/517779/ Fri, 28 Feb 2003 01:04:06 PST
Got a letter from Claire today. She does photography! Awesome. Included a couple pictures of her and one of prom with her significant other - I had forgotten how she looked - she's grown up.

Went to "My Fair Lady" tonight with Sydney and her roommate - Sydney got us two in for free (she's got connections - *wink*), but Anne had to pull her student/under-25 dealie to pay $20 for tickets. Awesome show - although Anne got *ahem* slightly better seats then we did, but I saw what I wanted of the show, heard everything, and was close to Sydney. Everything was good.

Talking to her now about... stuff... Better pay more attention. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/512084/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/512084/ Mon, 24 Feb 2003 16:12:31 PST
---

I fixed up a light blue shirt of mine (sewed a cuff button back on), borrowed a tie from Matt, sewed a button back onto the green suit coat, got shoeshine from Safeway ('cause nobody here knows how to shine shoes!) and shined my dress shoes, gelled my hair slightly, etc. Derek, Craig, and I met at 4:30 at Derek's campus apartment thingy, cleaned up a bit, and went into Queen Anne and got chicken and salad, Angel Food cake and strawberries, powdered sugar, salad dressing (my picks 'cause they don't know how to pick that kinda stuff -- lol), and some sparkling cider. Derek already had a bunch of other ingredients -- he had a recipe for chicken dumpling-type things that we made. He did the dumplings, I made rice and the sauce for them both (a chicken broth/gravy mix -- really good), and Craig cut up the strawberries and put them on a plate, sprinkled some sugar on them and put them in the freezer (to get some juice out and everything -- we're awesome ). Changed and walked over to get the girls at 7 (yes -- it took us that long to prepare everything that we wanted) and had dinner. Went to a park overlooking downtown for pictures after dinner, and then we split up and tried to find the dance -- it was at the stadium exhibition center, right? So, Sydney and I tried to find it for over an hour or so, and finally I gave up on the instructions we were given and just started giving directions of my own, and we found it... lol It was really nice -- they were teaching salsa dancing, and so we got a little bit of that, and just random dancing things. Really fun.

--- ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/510950/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/510950/ Mon, 24 Feb 2003 00:54:47 PST
SpacemanPi: lol

Living4FSH: once you're laying next to me it's all over

]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/506008/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/506008/ Fri, 21 Feb 2003 01:17:03 PST
Life goes on.

This is going to be short, 'cause it's 1:13am, and I want to go sleep.

Got my calc scores back for the midterm: 107/110. Made up a formula for one of the problems based on what I knew about stuff and got it right, with full credit. Woohoo.

Went to a Faculty concert and a special Group (preview student weekend) this (well, I guess it was yesterday) evening with Sydney, and we talked a lot about us and God, and what in the world's going on.

That's pretty much all, in a nutshell...

Whew, I'm tired... ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/499896/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/499896/ Mon, 17 Feb 2003 19:21:55 PST
I laid in bed for a while, and then finally got up... at 8:30am. Nuts. Get on the computer, get rid of my away message, and suddenly I've got two people IMing me about what's been going on, about mornings and whatever. Talked for a while...

Sydney asked when I was going to breakfast after a little bit, and I thought I'd go down then. Nobody was down there, so I managed to have waffles for the first time ever. Woohoo.

Breakfast, and then a walk with green-eyes to Gasworks park (which, apparently, was originally used to create artificial natural gas), where she read most of her paper and I read none of my book.

Lots of talking.

We talked a lot about us, and where we were, and what we thought about, and what was going on...

Got back at around 4 to an empty dorm room, which was immediately occupied by two tired, kinda talkative, kinda kissy folks. One of which was me.

We... hung out for a while, lots of talking and whatever until around 7pm. We were together all day, which was awesome.

Gave us a lot of time to discuss what in the world was going on.


So, apparently ( ) she likes me for more than just that I like her. I'm so glad - I.. I really don't know what to say to it, though...

I really don't have much else to say - today was a wonderful (all in all) day, with lots of confusion about why in the world things are the way they are, and lots of happiness that they turned out that way.

Maybe later more will come to mind. Right now, I'm just really glad that things are more good.

Think I'll go out and get some food. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/497761/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/497761/ Sun, 16 Feb 2003 18:31:37 PST
Went home on Friday after a nice, uneventful four classes - got a ride down to the ferry with Christina and Julie, and got on the Bremerton one. Sat and thought during the nice long ferry ride 'til disembarkation, and then called Mom to come and pick me up. Woohoo. She came around 5:45, and in the meantime (about 30-40 mins) I sang stuff to the empty parking lot.

She picked me up, with my suit coat in hand, my back pack on, and my legs tired, and we went home, to pizza and stuff for their anniversary. My bro came home late that night, and I saw him the next morning and gave him his present and we talked.

Saturday, everyone left in the morning, and I grabbed Phil's Incubus (S.C.I.E.N.C.E.) cd, played it downstairs on the stereo as I waited for my ride to come at around noon.

Laura came at 12:10, with Courtney as well, and by then I had taken a nice long shower and changed to all black.

Went to the service at Lewis Memorial - grabbed a program...

It started at 1, but we got there beforehand - got there to a bunch of sobbing friends from school, hugging and crying, more hugs and broken voices... Someone asked me if I wanted to see her, if I wanted to see all the pictures that they had set up in this other room. I didn't want to cry just yet.

They played a movie - I guess Colin had gotten word and just grabbed a bunch of home movies, a bunch of movies from school, everything, and just edited up a film before saturday - he's got skills like that.

The pastor spoke on love, and on how so many people were touched by her life... on how life is so precious and how at any moment, someone could leave...

People spoke.

Her friends, her family - people read notes, just talked - people cried, Rick (her b/f) sang a song - Brad talked about her and cried - her little sister talked...

I sat next to Josh and Kim - Josh and I didn't move, didn't make a sound the entire service, not to cry, not to laugh, not anything - just like if we moved too much, we'd break down, and we couldn't let that happen.

The service ended, and people walked up the aisle to see her - open coffin.

People came - Mme. Gharst came and sat next to me when I stayed after everyone else in my row left. Diana came and sat in front of me. Jared sat down to my left, and Lindsey came and sat right next to me.

I stood up to move, let everyone talk and stuff, and Lindsey hugged me -

...

Suddenly I was back in Europe, back in Arles, just outside this church where a man had been hit by a car-type-thing...

I had flashed back to my dad, and his seizures, 'cause he was just lying there on the ground...

I went and sat by myself then, felt alone then as I did with my dad, felt empty...

As we left the area (the guy turned out to be ok after a while), someone asked me if I was ok, and I just started to cry... long, slow tears... Lindsey came and hugged me, then Shannon, then Tasha, all at once, and I was just crying and crying...

...

I started to cry in Lindsey's arms, started just shaking, tears flowing down my face... the only time I had cried at the service, and the only time I would cry about this entire thing... Right then was when it hit me that I would never see her again, never be able to talk to her again, never know her more... Until heaven...

And I was ok.

Closure is a wonderful thing.

After the service, I stayed around for a while - Brad, a really close friend of Tasha's that had acted as her fiance so that he could get home for the funeral (he's in the army - will graduate from advanced training in March or April and go out to war) was staying and not feeling so great, whereas my ride and a bunch of other people were going to Tasha's parents' house. We eventually started to walk up to the house, really slow, talking about his training, and what he'd be able to do, what he could do already - I wanted to keep my mind off of everything, and what better way than to get up to date with a friend of mine? Brad and I were pretty close in high school...

By the time we made it to the house, Laura and Courtney were just leaving - they said I could stay and get a ride with Jared if I wanted, but I declined. There was a lot of smoke in there, I had heard, and I wanted away from the place...

So we went to Laura's house, ate lots of chocolate and some quesadillas, and watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Good stuff. Lightened everyone up a little bit.

Courtney left after a while, and Laura went upstairs to change to take me home, and I went and improv'ed on the piano (Laura's amazing) for 15 mins or so while she did. She came down an... ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/492891/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/492891/ Thu, 13 Feb 2003 21:30:55 PST

Great thing is that I prayed about it when I was with her Weds. night, and she got better by Thursday morning. Tres groovy.

Skipped calculus today - we were doing something on polar coordinates, which I covered on my own around six years ago. Whoa - I'm so old... Instead, I went down to the bank near the slick and withdrew $20. I asked the teller how many quarters were in a roll, and she told me "10", so I asked her if she'd give me two rolls of quarters with that - thought that'd be good.

She meant "$10". So all I got was two rolls of quarters, and I stood there for a little while, expecting a little bit of paper, you know, and I look down to see $10 on each roll, and suddenly realize I must look pretty stupid standing there, and I leave.

I went down to the slick, just 'cause I didn't want to go all the way back up to Ashton, and I could just sit and look over the stuff for today and yesterday in my book, make sure I wasn't really missing anything. I wasn't. Went over both lessons in around 15 mins, and laid down to half-nap. Someone came up when I was lying down with my calc book lying next to the couch, and asked if he could borrow it for a while - 'twas ok, I recognized him from High Flight - and so he grabbed it.

"When are you going to need this back?"

"Oh, I'll be here for a while."

He returned it in around half-an-hour or so. I'm CS - not good with time.

Sydney came out of her Circuits final and walked by - saw me napping, and I looked up and saw her...

She said that nobody had finished the test by the end of class, and that it had turned into a take home. Fun stuff. After a while, the guy with the calc book gave it back, and I got up to leave, and she asked me if I was coming up.

"I think so."

Left, and went up to my room, to check e-mail and otherwise waste time.

Had a good evening, tea and pasta for dinner, and lots of talking with Sydney about random stuff - about how Tasha and I were, about Europe and my pics, about country music, about families, about stuff.

Love how I feel when I'm around her.

Getting better about Tasha, about accepting it as a whole. Just leaves me angry, sad, and scared. Angry that this had to happen, that everyone had to lose such a wonderful person, such a good friend... Sad that so many people with so many other problems, so many other things on their mind now have to think about this, sad that Laura cried on the phone, sad that Eric can't come back for the memorial service saturday, sad that I'll never talk to her again, never hear her laugh again, never see who she grows up to be, what she grows up to do, what she would have looked like... Scared that it could happen to someone that close to me, and scared that it might happen to someone closer, scared that it took me a while to find out - scared that someone could die like that, so suddenly, so randomly...



But my heart is healing slowly, so things will be good with time. I'm glad I've got such good friends.

Some time, I've got to write some stories about my background... Keep my memories in my mind... Memories are good. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/491366/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/491366/ Wed, 12 Feb 2003 23:22:00 PST
Thinking about Sydney - she's not feeling so great, and I hope everything gets better as soon as possible.

Went and got Phil his b-day present today - a big thing that hangs from a door to put cds in - he's got cds hanging from strings on his ceiling, to reflect light off of and make his room all rainbowy, and Mom can't stand it - says it makes everything look unkempt (not direct quote). So I figure he'll think it's really cool.

Yay for three-day weekends - I wrote a song about those once... Can't remember the lyrics anymore, though. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/489653/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/489653/ Tue, 11 Feb 2003 22:37:32 PST ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/487827/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/487827/ Mon, 10 Feb 2003 19:58:09 PST
I called her that morning at 8:30am, and she had just left for class, so I e-mailed her and told her when I would be back from all my classes.

I got back at 3pm, called her room, and she didn't pick up, so I called her cell - got a little worried about the briefness of the message and everything - and she answered and passed the news...

Natasha died last weekend in a head-on collision with a semi.

She was driving, and apparently went a little too far into the other lane and...

Yeah.

Moment of silence.

Lasted for a while after that.

Clark, my roommate, asked me what was up after I got off the phone. I pointed to a picture of the Europe Trip group, sitting on a statue in London, and pointed to her.

"She died last weekend."

Clark: "Whoa, she's hot."

I left.

Went to Gwinn and grabbed a cup of tea, something to help me cool down, think a little bit about stuff. Sat and just... sat... And...

More yeah...

I had met Tasha junior year or so in high school. She was a good person - a bit out there or so, but good-hearted. She was a part of the group that accepted me that summer afterwards, when we went to Europe and came back all good friends.

We talked a lot on the train in Europe.

She was always smiling...

The last time I saw her was over winter break, at a party at Eric's house, with all my friends, all the people from school that I hadn't seen in forever, hadn't seen since I left for school, seeing as the closest people to me go to the U of W, and that's a bit of a walk.

Laura rode with me to that party.

Everyone was talking and stuff, but it wasn't the same - like we had definitely drifted away over the couple months that nobody had really been in contact...

Laura and I left early.

When she answered the phone, she had the saddest voice I had ever heard.

Now, Laura and I were good friends. I know I can trust her, and she knows she can trust me with anything. We're not always that good with keeping in touch, but we're close in spirit...

She cried.

Told me to take care of myself.

I said things were going to be ok.

Told me she'd call me back later this week.

I said I'd be fine, told her that she's got to take care of herself, too, and to tell Kim to be ok as well...

She cried.


After Gwinn I went back to Ashton, back to 3rd, to find a guitar, find something else to put my mind on, something else to think about, something else to concentrate on.

Found it in Lindsey & Amy's room - had to explain why I looked so tired, why I looked so depressed, and they listened.

I have such wonderful friends.

Played guitar for a while, hooked up a printer, went back to Gwinn for dinner, and went to Hill - 5th - for more company without going back to my room.

Found Christina (I have such good friends) in her room with Audrey and Craig. They asked me what was up, and I told them. Group hug. Talked for a while, and they went to dinner, and I migrated to the next room over, where Anne was doing some homework.

Asked if I could play guitar.

"Of course."

Played for a while, Sydney (a.k.a. green-eyes) came back and talked on the phone for a while, we all talked about random stuff for a while, and then they left.

I played guitar for a little while longer, and then closed their door and moved back to Christina's room, where I grabbed a bunch of music, checked my e-mail (where there was a thing about meeting with my advisor and a message from Carie asking me to try and get a hold of someone else that she knew), and started this...

Moment of silence. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/486109/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/486109/ Sun, 09 Feb 2003 18:33:41 PST
More waiting and wondering what in the world is going on in green-eyes' head. Hmm. I want her to be comfortable with me, I want her to trust me...

Feels kinda strange, not knowing exactly where I stand with her - I want her to know what she thinks of me so I can work on that, and not just wait....

I'm such an impatient guy. 'Cept not. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/484725/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/484725/ Sat, 08 Feb 2003 23:04:26 PST
Everyone left and will be gone 'til midnight,... and she's not coming.

Oh well, I'll survive and everything... there are other times for everything.

But there was s'posed to be movies going on right now. Something interesting. Instead, I'm lying in bed, half paying attention to the Winamp playlist cycling over... and over... and over....

Oh well. At least I'll be awake tomorrow... I think. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/484213/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/484213/ Sat, 08 Feb 2003 17:57:16 PST Loves her mama...
Loves Jesus...
And America too...

She's a good girl..
Crazy 'bout Elvis
Loves horses...
And her boyfriend too...

It's a long day...
Livin' in Reseda...
There's a freeway...
Runnin' through the yard...

And I'm a bad boy...
'Cause I don't even miss her...
I'm a bad boy...
For breakin' her heart...

And I'm free... Free fallin'....

All the vampires...
Walkin' through the valley...
Move West down...
Ventura boulevard...

And all the bad boys...
Are standing in the shadows...
And all the good girls...
Are home with broken hearts...

And I'm free... Free fallin'....

Wanna ride down...
Over Mulholland...
Wanna write her...
Name in the sky...

I'm gonna free fall...
Out into nothin'...
Gonna leave this...
World for a while...

[Doesn't have anything much to do with my day right now... Just my mood and whatever. Yay for Tom & the Heartbreakers - I'll be here all week] ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/483095/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/483095/ Sat, 08 Feb 2003 00:19:45 PST
Are...

So beautiful....


To me.... ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/481735/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/481735/ Thu, 06 Feb 2003 21:40:51 PST
I probably should work on some VB homework, but I figure I can finish that all tomorrow morning, or just skip my first CS class tomorrow and do it in the slick.

So, sitting and laying lonely in my bed waiting for something interesting to happen sounds like my life for tonight. You know, there are days when I would kill to just be able to lay around and do nothing. Today's not one of them.

I want to be able to do something.

Last night I prayed about s. & I's relationship, and what it needs to be, and I got a no.

Now, a no is never good when you want a yes, and oh, did I ever want a yes. I was thinking about just not telling her, and keeping what we have; the closeness that we share together is wonderful. But I had to e-mail her, for one, I can't stop His will, and for another, I really can't lie to her like that - I know I'd have to tell her sooner or later either that I haven't gotten an answer yet, and I... I just couldn't do that.

So here I am, sitting in my room, wishing that He would tell her that we're actually a yes, and that He just wanted to test my faith or something. The hope dwindles, though, as each minute goes by.

Here I am, all stupid poet-y. At least we're still friends - whoever she chooses to be with in the end will be an EXTREMELY lucky guy.

Well, there's my pseudo-rant for the night. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/480241/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/480241/ Wed, 05 Feb 2003 22:36:18 PST
Tonight they wanted me to work 'til midnight locking things up - I had already went from 8 - 10pm, securing and checking almost every single building I knew how, so I didn't think I needed another two hours, and anyway, I wanted to get a little rest.

So I left at 10, came back to my room and changed - finally installed AOL IM (already had an account, just was crazy annoyed with the sounds - so I disabled them) again, and here I am.

Lots of thinking going on. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/478840/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/478840/ Wed, 05 Feb 2003 01:33:10 PST
Can't.. Stop.. Smiling... ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/477228/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/477228/ Tue, 04 Feb 2003 00:08:11 PST
Went to go play piano at another dorm tonight and improved a bunch of stuff around some music that was already there. A group of EE-type people were down in the lounge (sapphire-eyes had invited me; she was there) and they were having their fun. It was all relaxed and comfortable. Good stuff. Sooner or later I ran out of music to play, ran out of things going through my mind, and I really just wanted to improv something loud, but I didn't want to disturb all the people that were studying. Oh well.

Kinda makes me a little sad that I didn't take the second quarter of physics this quarter, but I really wanted to get into the comp sci program early, and I can't afford any more credits. Too bad for me, I guess.

Went back to the room and pumped some bass on my computer until my roommate went to sleep, and then hit the headphones. Linkin Park - Hi Voltage. Good stuff - got my cd back from my dad sunday afternoon, when he came to visit and brought the cookies that were the bane of my stomach when I went to class this morning...

Just another day, I guess. Not much going on of note. Kind of a shame. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/475418/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/475418/ Mon, 03 Feb 2003 00:32:40 PST
I do know that sapphire-eyes halted the relationship-in-progress, and that whether or not it's cold and wet outside, it will be cold and wet inside. Oh well. I mean, I understand what she said and things, and I'm not going to push it, and I won't try and take it anywhere she doesn't want it to be taken, but...

Argh!

Someone said to me today - don't "look for" the one, "be" the one. Screw that. If everyone just "was" the one, nobody'd ever get together. More argh.

You know, that's three people that aren't looking for relationships? First there was the person I met on a roomies date, and we hung out for a while, did stuff, and I asked her roommate about any possibility of dating her, and she informed me that that's not what she's looking for. Score: Me 0, Girls 1. I could deal, though, 'cause I like her as a friend, and it wasn't really serious, you know? Just a casual question.

Then there was the other girl, who said hi to me at the start of the quarter even though I hadn't talked to her or even really seen her around since the beginning of fall quarter. She made it extremely clear to me that she wasn't looking for a relationship very early in the time I spent with her - just hanging out kinda stuff. We've got all these life-type things in common, and so I could deal with that, too; just being friends. Sounds good. You know. Me 0, Girls 2.

And then, I start hanging out with... she-who-shall-remain-nameless (at least online). At first it was because she had a guitar, and she was on the same floor as the girl behind door number two. So I'd go in there and play guitar, and just hang out while she studied or whatever. It was great. I got this feeling from being around her, something I looked forward to every time I entered the room, you know? And then when she first touched my face... *shivers* I haven't felt that way... I don't think ever. If I have, it was in 8th grade, when I had never really been in a relationship...

Anyway, my heart went nuts. It was great. I felt cared for, and we kept talking about figuring out what was going on. We did the walks, I made sure not to take things too far, you know, supposedly to keep myself from getting too involved so that when things blew up in my face I wouldn't feel so hurt...

And when she finally figures out what she feels about the entire thing, it's that she doesn't want the touchy-feely stuff. She doesn't want the more-than-friends thing with me.

Hat trick.

The worst part about it is that I really care for her, that I really thought it would work out. I had been thinking about it, praying about it, and I thought everything would be good. I really WANTED it to be good, too... She makes me feel so wonderful... So cared for...

But no. Guess it's not meant to be, at least not now. So I went back to the dorm, played some guitar, played some more guitar in the dark, wailed off on an acoustic playing some blues-type stuff and some sad stuff in a minor key that I just pulled out of somewhere, and listening to some other people playing guitar. Ate around 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies. Went and composed some angry music - the normal things that I do to try and get over something... But it just sticks with me. No matter what I do [how hard I.. try.. I can't seem to convince myself.. why.. I'm stuck on the outside, don't you - Linkin Park] I can't seem to get into an ok mood, one where I can relax enough to get to sleep...

And a little more argh.

Geez. It hurts. Nobody else has hurt. That's no fair. At least I can still go over and play guitar...

Wonder if she'll still invite me.

Gonna go wait for the morning now... At least it's not too far away: 12:31 AM. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/473566/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/473566/ Sun, 02 Feb 2003 00:23:09 PST
I'm going to sleep. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/472471/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/472471/ Sat, 01 Feb 2003 11:44:18 PST
Note to self: make sure I have some way of keeping us both warm next time we go for a walk late at night, in the winter, when it's windy, to a park that's more like a marsh. Yikes.

Got an e-mail from a friend I met online today - she said she liked my music. Hmm. I wonder if she's just being nice about it or if she only d/led the songs I reccommended - even they aren't so amazingly good, just ambient, good background music. Gotta get to work on that next cd.

Going to lunch at around noon today. Missed breakfast - woke up and just laid in bed for a while, and by the time I looked at my watch, it was over, and the cafeteria was closed. Lunch should be ok, though. Really casual, just as I like it.

Hope it stays that way. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/469893/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/469893/ Thu, 30 Jan 2003 23:15:23 PST

Talked to my friend up in Canadia about everything going on right now, and everything's going to be ok between us, I think... I hope - I hate hurting people, even (perhaps especially) unintentionally. It's for the best, though, I think.

Spent a little more time with my friend up in Hill today. She's into photography - so cool. Maybe sometime she'll come over and look at the photos of Europe and everywhere that I've taken. If I ever get a scanner, I'll post a few. Some are actually pretty good, imho.

She's got these amazing bue eyes, too... Sapphire...

Stopping before I describe everything good about her and someone out there recognizes who she is.

God is good. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/468664/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/468664/ Thu, 30 Jan 2003 09:36:07 PST
She's awesome. She's EE (Electronics Engineering), plays a little guitar, she's caring and thoughtful, she's got beautiful little-more-than-shoulder-length brown hair... (sigh)

So now we're just taking it slow - little tiny steps - and seeing where we get led together.

I hope it's someplace good. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/466128/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/466128/ Tue, 28 Jan 2003 21:47:58 PST
Actually, getting more blisters on my feet from it (a form of Brazilian martial arts that's kinda like a dance) then I have from playing guitar on my fingers. Oh, well. No pain, no gain.

Tres tiring, though. (darn it - no accents!) ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/464410/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/464410/ Mon, 27 Jan 2003 22:59:53 PST
Just got back from the room of a good friend of mine. Was sitting in there talking, enjoying her awesome laugh and listening to another friend talk about the Silmarillion (Christopher Tolkein's prequel to the Lord of the Rings) and how it's hard to get through 'cause it's more like a text book than a novel, reclining near another of her friends, and I suddenly feel nauseous.

So I say that I need to get some air, and I go out and grab a Sobe and walk around for a bit. Still feeling a little bit of it (the nausea, not the Sobe), so I'm sitting in here with all the windows open and thinking hard about getting some tea.

Orange. ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/461962/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/461962/ Sun, 26 Jan 2003 17:15:14 PST
Malheurusement, everyone in my dorm's from California, so they're all busy watching the intense game between the Raiders and the Buccaneers. Woohoo.


Talking to a wonderful friend of mine who's up in Canada. Trying to think of what to say every other second, how to word things in the right way, how to say what I'm thinking, you know.

Calc exam in the back of my head, music coming in the sides, comfort coming out of my hands, wonderful compliments coming in through my eyes.

It's great having good friends to talk to. I just wish she was a bit closer... ]]> ~spaceman40 http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/460772/ http://spaceman40.deviantart.com/journal/460772/ Sun, 26 Jan 2003 01:02:46 PST
Right about now, I'm wondering why this amazingly cool site doesn't host music along with its desktop themes and wallpapers and whatever.

I'm wondering this because even though I'm horrible at editing pictures, photos, visual anythings, I'm at least a little less horrible at creating music. Oh well.

Gonna have to put my web page up as my MP3-dot-com artist page, I guess. ]]> ~spaceman40