http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:speckers&section=today deviantART RSS for by:speckers en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 21:52:36 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/26775167/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/26775167/ Sun, 23 Aug 2009 12:53:53 PDT

I've just moved out of my apartment in Ypsilanti MI, and in a couple of weeks I'll be on my way to Austin TX to hopefully live and prosper in the limitless sunshine and never-having-to-scrape-ice-off-my-car-again. Here's hoping!

That's about all for now, I hope you all are doing well!

-Christy

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/21927909/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/21927909/ Thu, 11 Dec 2008 09:00:06 PST le sigh.

...and now I'm catching up on all sorts of blogs and journals I forgot about, wishing people talked normally, still.

"How are you?"
"Shitty, actually, the other day...well, I wrote a huge blog about it, so you should go read that."

Come again?

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/15831980/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/15831980/ Fri, 07 Dec 2007 09:02:11 PST Then last night happened.
I got a call a while ago from a girl who's part of one of those future businessmen and women of america clubs/groups at UofM...or was it EMU? I'm low on details, and at the late stage we're at...I'm embarrassed to ask. Anyway, she wanted group shots of her club, and asked me to do it. I don't know her, I know nobody in the group, nobody I know told her to ask me; she just found my info online, and called me. The shoot went awesomely, and I think I have a restored faith in the viability of photography.
I might be able to get away with it!
*sigh*
too bad I can't "get away with it" until the summer, at the earliest...well, I'll do my best to get away with it on the sly, while I work my normal job and finish school.
school.
blah.
that's all for now.
oh, you can check out the final shot from last night in my gallery, if you're curious. 25 peeps in suits = a little intimidating, but I rocked it.
-c

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/15583517/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/15583517/ Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:44:54 PST blah.

3 Things that scare me...

• rotten holes in things that shouldn't be there. pores, holes eaten in ice by salt, bug holes, you name it. ew.
• accidentally killing someone and getting shoved in prison, and then going to hell.
• failure

3 Things I like the most...

• that Aha moment
• Coffee and chocolate
• Feeling rested (gonna have to steal this one from Daria.)

3 Important things in my room...

• Coffee-making stuff
• Bookshelves overflowing with books
• My free, overwhelmingly comfortable bed

3 random facts about me...

• my brother once told me that if i stepped on mole tunnels, the moles would pop up angrily and bite my feet. he lied. and i still get nervous on mole tunnels. psshh.
• when i was a kid, i got BO in one arm pit months before the other one. my mom made fun of me.
• i'm afraid to get a credit card.

3 things I plan to do before I die...

• live all kinds of crazy places like Ireland, New Zealand, Germany, Argentina, the south of France, etc.
• ride in a hot air balloon
• learn to ride a horse properly

3 things that attract me to opposite sex...

• a well balanced face and intelligent eyes that crinkle at the edges
• an open but strong mind
• wide smiles and dark hair

3 things I say the most...

• whoaz
• yo
• yessss


3 celeb or NOT-REAL crushes...

• Jake and...Maggie Gyllenhall
• Will Smith, haha
• Christian Bale

Favourite Drinks...

• Coffee
• Earl Gray
• Juice/Wine

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/15583372/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/15583372/ Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:24:59 PST honestly, I came up with more, but since I only get ten, oh well.
thanks, D.

1. Coffee
2. Cameras
3. Cool Wind
4. Cucumbers fresh from the garden
5. Car windows open on a warm summer night
6. Curling up
7. Crunchy things to eat
8. Creamy Chocolate
9. Cats curled up in balls
10. Cardamom

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/15474251/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/15474251/ Mon, 12 Nov 2007 06:07:08 PST and sometimes, school feels like an excuse as well.

i've been so wrapped up in school and work lately, that i haven't written anything since the 1st of August. pathetic. (and i'm sure it'll be another three and a half months before i write again...sigh)

there were rumors of a prison escape last night, but i'm inclined to believe they're either a)false or b)too real and scary to make the news yet. despite my inclination to disbelieve such rumors...every banging/shouting/cracking noise i heard last night freaked me the hell out.
thanks k.
appreciate it.
yeah.

school time now.

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/13976974/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/13976974/ Wed, 01 Aug 2007 20:08:44 PDT
]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/12813288/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/12813288/ Wed, 02 May 2007 08:30:09 PDT In other news, my current employment will be greatly reduced in mid-June, so any suggestions would be awesome. I've been looking at more nanny jobs, which I think is a good plan - last summer I worked 35 hours/wk nannying and I made great money, plus I sort of got a tan. (this is hard to do, people!) Another plus with nannying for a living is that you have great flexibility. If you want to leave for a weekend or even more than a week, you just have to give them advance notice and you're good to go. They're like "okay, that's fine, see you in a week!"
So, onward and upward. Ideally, I should be getting a real job, maybe related to photography...but since nannying is so great for working around...I can just freelance around the edges.
Well people, I'm going to go search mlive.com for nanny jobs again.
Peace!
-Christy

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/12229411/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/12229411/ Sun, 18 Mar 2007 08:04:57 PDT
in other news, i need to find a good set of lights. i've been borrowing a set from my good friend Nate, but i need to return them before the loan becomes any more lengthy.

so basically, if you have a cure for the plague, or a good set of studio lights you want to point me towards....that would be ka-blamo.

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/12024351/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/12024351/ Fri, 02 Mar 2007 09:16:41 PST while it snowed. this may in part be responsible for the wishy washiness of midwesterners. we're so used to just adjusting to everything, or maybe we just let it do our deciding for us...."i can't go out, it's gross outside." like you've never used that one before.
i'm not making my point very effectively. but like our weather, we're unpredictable, yet usually.....damp and cold.

in other news, um, i'm actually doing homework these days! yay! yay.

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/11256079/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/11256079/ Sun, 31 Dec 2006 09:22:04 PST
is it just me...am i really just overly jaded...or is almost every band member entirely full of hot air? there are, of course, real musicians who are actually good at what they do, are humble enough when thanking the cheering crowd, and who don't make my blood feel limp and bored. they're talented, they know it, and they're chill about it. they know their day will come, and whatever form it takes, they're okay with that. i admire chilled out people.
now i know a lot of our lovely local musician peeps are really excited about their new bands. and i'm glad that you're getting into something that you love. i say go for it. however, it's the veteran local bands who never made it past ohio in their "touring bus" of makebelieve dreams. i mean honestly. why? i suppose you must think there's life left in your group, or you wouldn't keep on doing it. you probably make enough money to live on, combining your day job at Herb David or Guitar Center with the weekly stab in the chest of not-enough-gig-money at the Blind Pig....i dunno. just don't act like you're all that and a bag of chips, okay? you're lame. if at first you don't suceed in "Death Petal Metal Blood Gang," you break up, and reform a new band using a couple members of DPMBG (see above) and a few new guys you met at the bar at your last show with the old band. you might investigate getting a girl to sing for you, or at least shake her ass on stage. but if the first and second bands don't work, and you're still into that whole scene, then try again with a new group...seriously. it's the way to go. don't cling to the first brainchild like you cling to your ratty hair and your favorite black fishnet shirt. for our sake, please give that up.

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/9381190/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/9381190/ Sat, 15 Jul 2006 00:27:04 PDT
when i began photographing, in general...i liked macro photography; closeups or abstract, or whatever...as long as it wasn't of a person. i thought people were boring to photograph.
i thought they all looked the same.

it's funny how taste changes.

now all i'm really interested in is people. what the hell does an object care if i took a photograph of it from an interesting angle. it's still the same unchanging thing. i admire the photographers who can squeeze life and mood out of inanimate objects. that's skill.

*shrugs*

now i've learned that a person can never look the same way twice. they might try, but the attempt is always tainted by the last time, or by their day, or by people they ran into, or by work, or play, or hobby, or food, or gas....lol. whatever changes them, it goes on endlessly. and i love that.

that, my dear katie, is one of the reasons i'm so glad to have had the chance to photograph you for going on....5 or 6 years now. i never planned on making it a long term project or anything, you just seemed to need me. and i you.
i'm a bitch, i know, you can leave, it's fine, you can go.

on another note.
i miss D. i want to see her, and laugh hysterically with her, and be goofy, and freak out together, and sit hopelessly on the steps.

[something revealing deleted]

night, all! ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/8488391/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/8488391/ Sun, 16 Apr 2006 11:20:45 PDT ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/8177221/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/8177221/ Thu, 16 Mar 2006 10:37:11 PST i got a courtesy call from Sprint today, thanking me for me recent payment of $123.43. and to remind me that i'll have another bill on the 18th. man. that's in two days, what gives? ugh. whatever. i'll just....just....find a Sprint store and pay it by cash sometime next week.
SPRINT.
conglomerate companies are sucking the life out of modern existence.
NO MORE LIES!
anyway.
i'm gonna go be teh awesome superstar i see in my head when i walk down Mass Av. with my ipod. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/8087846/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/8087846/ Mon, 06 Mar 2006 19:52:07 PST
Me: tired from work, in a black coat, gray pants, hair up, scarf.
You: sitting directly across from me on the orange line, Back Bay station...you seemed lost or confused at first, a little agitated. it was then that i noticed your coat. beige, pocket in front filled with something bulge-y, and what was that on it....blood? yes, it was. it was only then that i noticed your right hand weakly gripping a bottle of Power-Ade. It was also covered in blood, which you dabbed inefectively at with a napkin. In fact, everything that you had touched seemed to have blood on it. I didn't know what to do, I could barely meet your eyes. your eyes....staring at me with that wounded animal look...it was when you almost fell on me that i knew i wished this wasn't the end of our short relationship. I wished i could help you more than just putting my gloved hand on your back and trying to help you up. we all wondered what happened...we wished we could help more, but what happened to make you bleed all over the orange line, man? I wished i could make sure that MBTA employee got you to a proper hospital...maybe put some pressure on that wounded hand.
man. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/8010289/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/8010289/ Sun, 26 Feb 2006 15:52:30 PST she's deep.
she's meaningful.
and you will adore her.
oh, and me, while you're at it, maybe.
cheers! KEEP LOOKING FOR UPDATES! I'm still here, and I'm updating more than I have in a long friggen while. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/7049303/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/7049303/ Mon, 14 Nov 2005 20:25:46 PST
[link] (www.christydeering.com)

go check it OUT, guys! ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6889984/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6889984/ Fri, 28 Oct 2005 09:56:31 PDT 2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the shuffle command.
4. Tell us the title of the next 20 songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. That's right, no skipping that Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It's time for total musical honesty.
5. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second (or third, or etc.) occurrences. You don't have to, but since randomness could mean you end up with a list of twenty songs with five artists, you can if you'd like.

1. Manu Chao - Welcome to Tijuana
2. Micheal Buble - You and I
3. ABBA - Does Your Mother Know
4. - The Bends
5. Love Unlimited - Fun Lovin' Criminals
6. Killer Joe - Art Farmer Sextet
7. The Shins - The Past and Pending
8. Damien Rice - Sand
9. Garbage - I Think I'm Paranoid
10. Glenn Miller - Sunrise Serenade
11. John Mayer - Daughters (!)
12. dc Talk - Wanna Be Loved
13. Enya - Sail Away
14. American Beauty - Opening Theme
15. Bach - Solo Journey: Night Moods
16. The All-American Rejects - Why Worry
17. Tatu - Robot
18. !Hero: The Rock Opera - Intentions
19. Tangerine Dream - Brain Offender
20. Radiohead - Lurgee

hmm, interesting mix.
might i add....i have over 2000 songs in itunes. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6796740/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6796740/ Mon, 17 Oct 2005 22:30:59 PDT
went to Chicago to see the Blue Man Group - COOLEST PERFORMANCE I'VE EVER SEEN!!
stayed with Ben, in his wee studio apartment in Chicago. ate his reeces cups and he made me and Daria some french toast in the morning that was spectacular.
drove up to Pier Cove and spent a day and a half at Jerm's family's house on Lake Michigan - SO PRETTY.
drank and ate Ramen for almost two days.
ran around on the beach, freezing our toes off in the colder-than-hell water. trying (but not succeeding) to skip rocks off the waves. sitting in other people's empty hammocks in a summertime hut on the beach. nobody cared that it was freezing, we had multiple layers on, or that the wind was ripping our hair from behind our ears.
sandy toes painted blue that don't belong to a girl, wind and rain, sand ledges to crush with numb, pale feet. a long-dead fish with scary, hard teeth. daria wanted to feed it a rock. we let her.
sleeping in a hard bed with my soft pillow. sounds of waves crashing and wind blowing in the dark, trying to force everything inland a few feet. falling asleep with the light on on purpose, scary darkness in new places with nobody in the room but me.
daria and jerm in the other room keeping each other not-uneasy in the loud darkness of fall on Lake Michigan. it's not that I want a warm body in bed with me; but that they have one doesn't seem quite fair. maybe i should just jump in bed with them like a scared kid during a thunderstorm. maybe they'd hurt me if i did that.
maybe i wouldn't care.

maybe i'll just aquire my own warm body before we re-visit fall on Lake Michigan. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6730578/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6730578/ Mon, 10 Oct 2005 13:30:45 PDT i'm supposed to go out tonight after class....get drinks at midnight when i turn 21, and all that.
this morning was spectacular, and i want Bilal for my very own.
katie already IS my very own.

mmmm.

loves.

Expect great things. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6701527/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6701527/ Fri, 07 Oct 2005 06:12:46 PDT i'm almost 21, and that's exciting. i feel like i've been waiting for this since 2000, at least.

i know once i'm 21 i'll go, "eh."

maybe....
but until then, i'll be excited and look forward to birthday-ness.
coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
my mom says it's our Finnish ancestors. that's why i'm hopelessly addicted to coffee, and love it so much.
i think it's my grandma/dad/brother's fault. they all became addicted way before me.
for serious.
ok, now it's time to get a tire fixed/get my oil changed/go to school/go to work/not sit for at least another 24 hours. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6674840/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6674840/ Tue, 04 Oct 2005 04:08:51 PDT a REAL one!
("I'm a REAL boy!")
well, no, i'm not a boy, but i WILL have a real website soon.
and apparently i'll be learning how to use Dreamweaver so i can update my own mofuggin website. neither of us wants me to be reliant on Liz for update-age.

oh damn the man. sun's not even up but i have to go drive 75 miles to East Lansing now. again. i don't like my work. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6418920/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6418920/ Mon, 05 Sep 2005 00:57:44 PDT you don't care a bit

wow i love Imogen Heap. you should listen to her amaaaazing music.
right now. like you don't have anything else in your life.

in other news.....school.
i have photography classes and i joined the Jazz Orchestra at WCC.
that should be awesome as hell. Johnny Lawrence is my newest hero.

work...was covered in the last journal entry.

oook.
goodnight. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6312760/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6312760/ Wed, 24 Aug 2005 05:41:16 PDT MY LIFE IS ONE BIG WORK WEEK.
i started these two new jobs last week, and i'm going slightly mad.
the book shop job will only go until two or so weeks after book rush is over, but the salon one'll stay indefinitely. school starts on friday. what the hell.
i don't fancy getting up at the buttcrack of dawn to go help people get their hair cut/dyed/hair waxed off/pedicures/spa shit done.
but that's my job.
so yeah.

i'll be seein ya. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6237853/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6237853/ Mon, 15 Aug 2005 20:13:00 PDT
first off, THANK YOU!!

secondly....already, i miss my grain.
i realise i can use my film cameras any time i want...but i find myself spam-shooting, and paying the price by not getting the quality i got before.

technique #1: to solve this problem, i propose i shoot as much as i shot when i had film. no more. this means taking more time to consider shots.
amen.

technique #2: keep sucking.

hmmm.


while i DO prefer grains to pixels, i think i could get used to the ease of digital.
thanks, Russ. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6195869/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6195869/ Thu, 11 Aug 2005 08:20:46 PDT
yesterday i went to see Dream Theater...live....at what used to be Pine Knob but is apparently DTE Energy Music Theater now. nothing's changed but the name....half the time i was people-watching, and the other half i was watching the band lol. never before in my life have i seen SO many terrible hairdo's that haven't been cut in 10 years, so many cut up Megadeath tshirts...only thing worse than wearing a Megadeath shirt, is wearing a Megadeath shirt TO a Megadeath show, which this was. (we didn't stay for Megadeath. why? you ask....because i don't LIKE Megadeath. )
anyway, that was awesome. the guys in Dream Theater are better at their music than i'll ever be...at ANYTHING.
so many drunk hicks that live in their parents' basements and listen to metal, post shit that they'll never do, neglect to cut their hair so long that it's scraggly and greasy and their hair starts to thin but the STILL don't cut it...haha. i didn't belong there, but i do love Dream Theater. *sigh* totally worth it. totally. i just wish Daria could have been there, because she's the one who told me about Dream Theater, and made me turn off the lights, turn the volume up and sit back. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6139245/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6139245/ Fri, 05 Aug 2005 06:20:25 PDT *sigh*
it took me all of a week and i'm already annoyed by life again.
being away for a week was AWESOME and much needed, however, what i really need is to start a new job, have some school.....
*growl*
it's only about 69 degrees outside, so i'm actually able to have my coffee without feeling like i just swallowed a heater.
awesome.
69 and sunny....mmm. a perfect day for sanding.
or for driving to the beach and sitting on it. but i want to go with katie sue. and she's not here, (are you?) so i'll just wait, and hope anf pray...that i'll get away. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6027626/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/6027626/ Mon, 25 Jul 2005 06:27:09 PDT Boston is not dumb.
i really realy like it here. too bad it's so feckin expensive! liz informs me that without a car even...it'll cost over $1000 a month to live here.
yeah. wow.
liz's cd player keeps skipping.
graaarrr.
so i'm having a good time hanging out, wasting what little money i have riding the T, buying water, food, lol. no that doesn't count as wasting, that's necessary. liz thinks the water here tastes like ass. i'm not sure it's that bad. after all, i drink ypsi water, which tastes more like a rusty pipe.
skip skippity skip!
yay gorillaz.....
so i haven't checkd out any schools yet, but it did take me 23 hours on a bus to get here so i had to sleep that off and then it was the weekend lol.
i'm sleeping on a futon...i get the only air conditioner...liz gives me coffee, we have popsicles....went to Haymarket on saturday and got so much produce for so little money it makes Coleman's back in Ypsi look like Whole Foods in terms of prices.
yikes.
here's a little idea of how cheap it is: 8 oranges (good oranges) for $1.
3 pounds of tomatoes: $1.50
1 pound green beans: $1
yeah that's reason #4808 why i like it here. but haymarket isn't year-round, it's only fridays and saturdays in the summer cuz it's outdoors.
ok i'm gonna go.....do something.
like walk around. go to the charles....read a book.
my days are packed, i gotta tell ya. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5761708/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5761708/ Sun, 26 Jun 2005 11:39:32 PDT
just wanted to put a bid in for fall to come around.
like now.
or for it to be slightly less soupy outside.
this is the part where i go hide in my darkroom.
]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5536322/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5536322/ Thu, 02 Jun 2005 20:04:32 PDT
on a side note, my arms feckin hurt! I joined this volleyball league through Rec&Ed with Morgan and Dorian, and today was practice...yikes it's been forever. it's been forever and a day since i was washing sand out of my hair, watching my forearms go from red to purple lol...
I sound like a crime victim.
i'm not.
ok, goodnight, peeps. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5481088/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5481088/ Fri, 27 May 2005 22:04:12 PDT dammit.
no way to get around that while living in a two bedroom apartment with three people, huh.

*sigh*

i hope to begin more art soon.
sorry, peeps. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5443441/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5443441/ Mon, 23 May 2005 22:15:12 PDT
Mood: hopeful
Listening to: Music from The Pianist
Reading: Catcher in the Rye
Watching: Chocolat

soon i'll be done with this huge backlog of images i'm sorting through. i just had a moment where i got FREAKING TIRED of it all. so i took a break from anything i didn't have to do....so yeah, there hasn't been much uploading goin on in a while. don't worry, that will change soon.
i hope.
unless i get another ear infection.
because i'm fucking sick AGAIN.
that's what i get for working with kids. damn germs.
another show tomorrow to attend...all by my lonesome, how lame. The Ninjas and The Slackers, at the Blind Pig in Ann Arbor, doors at 8pm.
you should come make me feel less like an un-accompanied loser. because that's what i have become. the only person willing to come with me is my camera, and he has no soul, unfortunately.
ok enough whatever-ness from me.
i blame it on the high price of tomorrow's show. it's like....effing $10 to get in, for freak's sake.
that's unfair.
ok, bye now.

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5415545/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5415545/ Fri, 20 May 2005 20:28:56 PDT
Mood: freaked out
Listening to: Step Up To The Microphone - Newsboys
Reading: Catcher in the Rye
Watching: Boondock Saints

SO freaking out. have a wedding to play clarinet and guitar in, and i just got the music like TWO DAYS AGO. i'm so gonna fuck up Canon in D when those poor people are walking down the isle....ok, no i'm not. i'm going to do a good job, because i have no other choice.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UCKKK!!

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5401259/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5401259/ Thu, 19 May 2005 10:59:51 PDT Mood: sick
Listening to: Let Go - Frou Frou
Reading: Catcher in the Rye
Watching: Boondock Saints

well i guess Deviant thought they'd be nice and let me have a week's look at being a subscriber. hmm....ok. why not.
i'm making sourdough bread, and i'm excited. too bad it's a process that takes like two days. what's up with that!?
I want bread, and I want it NOW, dammit.
so yeah. journaling online's sort of over-rated, so i'm gonna go take a shower and get on with the day now.

]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5352211/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5352211/ Fri, 13 May 2005 23:06:50 PDT

so yeah. if you didn't make it, you should have hitchhiked because it was worth it. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5324527/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5324527/ Tue, 10 May 2005 20:33:35 PDT
Where: Natural Canvas Gallery and Studios
N. Main St, Ann Arbor, MI, 48105
When: Friday the 13th from 7pm-2am
What: Theme is "Carnival"
And my stuff will be up in it.....so TEH AWESOMENESS SHOULD BE VIEWED. by you.
Why: because you love me and you love good art

Thanks, mah peeps.

Christy ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5237728/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5237728/ Sun, 01 May 2005 11:31:46 PDT so there'll be a shitload of pictures making their way up soon, i promise.
must go back to lying down.
urpse. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5152887/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5152887/ Thu, 21 Apr 2005 20:29:57 PDT longing so much for an escape from this frame of mind when all i want to do is go away and take peaceful/lonely pictures by myself, take an afternoon away and just sit by a Great Lake and figure out where i'm going...and why, for that matter.
realise that there is no way to figure it all out in the midst of this sometimes chaotic, mostly just busy life of mine. don't quite know how i aquired it. just showed up on the doorstep one little piece at a time, i suppose.
alone. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5146392/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5146392/ Thu, 21 Apr 2005 08:23:05 PDT GAAA!
be patient, peeps. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5065621/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5065621/ Mon, 11 Apr 2005 23:19:05 PDT
am still jack's inflamed sense of rejection, but at least i'm half drunk, sleeping, and dull to you. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5049864/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/5049864/ Sun, 10 Apr 2005 09:23:34 PDT someone will love it intensely for one day, and then throw it away.

it's not that i hate it, but i fear that i may start to. more than ever i want to drown it and abuse it and make it go away, but at the same time i'm so addicted it's scary. want me to be happy again? let me go. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4914660/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4914660/ Sat, 26 Mar 2005 02:38:03 PST i think i need to take pictures of something other than musicians. at least on the side. my early work was much more....hmm. i could be cliche and say "dark" or "lonely." but that would be....boring.
that's all for now. I knew that I would begin staying up late again, once i got better. and here i am. 5:37am. life is lonely, but at least it has the potential to be lived. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4837765/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4837765/ Thu, 17 Mar 2005 14:18:12 PST so i'm leaving tomorrow to drive up to Port Sanilac. I'm visiting my grandma....who is cooler than you, by the way, and I'll be back on Sunday. sometime. in the afternoon. before my lessons. i hope. OH OH and i'm bringing my grandma with me...that's the exciting part. It's her birthday on Wednesday, and she's going to be 83. she's the coolest 83 year old i know! And then she'll be with us on Easter, which is also exciting.
that aside, I had a rather tiring and irritating day. mostly because i had to work, and that usually pisses me off. but then I went to the bank to deposit my check and i wanted to go through the drive through, right? and so i go to grab the tube thing, and i DROPPED it on the ground, and had to open my door, get out, and find it (YARR) and then do the whole transaction and.....SCREW MONEY, and then I had to get gas because I'm on empty, and then i notice that on one side of the street, gas is $1.95, and on the other, it's $2.23. (!!!) and so i'm like, "fuck that" and i drive down the road some more because the line at the gas station with cheap gas was like three miles long....and the gas station near me was (GUESS, JUST GUESS) $2.25. (FUCK!)
so i got gas there, because i was pissy and frustrated.
and now i'm at my apartment, sitting here, ranting and raving and wishing i had something to munch on other than oyster crackers and chai tea. sometimes my eating habits frustrate me; mostly when i'm pissy.
oh, HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAY. I'm wearing green, although i guess i should be wearing orange since i'm a protestant...but orange looks bad on me; it turns my skin a gross shade of cyan. seriously.
i need this break away from Ann Arbor/Ypsi so bad. I know it's only the weekend, but I'm excited nonetheless. A time to sit and have quiet times with my grandma, and talk with her, and help her sort through some of her and grandpa's old stuff, and all that. she's moving down here soon, which is one of the reasons i get to go visit her. yeah. and i'm excited to see Lake Huron this time of year. I saw it in December and it was freakin AWESOME looking, with huge slabs of ice all piled up on the breakwater, and everything frozen and covered in ice....but this time of year might be even more frozen. I dunno. But yeah. the camera comes with me.

sorry about the epic length of this journal. I had to spew. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4819943/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4819943/ Tue, 15 Mar 2005 13:06:32 PST
I must say, I feel like I haven't cried in months, and here I am, bawling over everything that happens. I stopped counting how many times I cried today. frankly, it's embarassing.....but in a good, healing, cleansing way.
*sigh*
what happens now?
heck if i know...
thank god my roommates aren't here to witness this unprecedented breakdown. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4808235/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4808235/ Mon, 14 Mar 2005 06:39:06 PST So, doctor's appointment at 10:30am, much niceness. I'm glad Care Choices hasn't caught up with the fact that i'm not in school anymore, and i'm still covered by my parents' health insurance. I'm not psyched about three or more weeks of not being able to hear right, but at least i'll have antibiotics or something. you know, they never give my amoxacillin any more. weird. oh well, as long as it works. I think it has something to do with the over-prescription of antibiotics, like some don't work as well any more because all the strains of illnesses, whatever they may be, have already met the antibiotic...and became resistant. whatever, i just hate hearing one pitch in my healthy ear, and a half step down from that plus the regular pitch in my infected ear. oh that and the pain. it's messed up, people. totally and utterly.
All done. if you survive, please come again. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4773860/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4773860/ Wed, 09 Mar 2005 23:32:58 PST
ego boost and future-talks from stephan (thank you, you make me smile) and love all around.
Postal Service soundtrack of life at moment.
inspiration to keep on keepin' on.
thank you ALL. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4761156/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4761156/ Tue, 08 Mar 2005 14:40:09 PST
i thought i was getting better, but here i am with crud in my lungs that wont come out and a cough that feels like extra-coarse sandpaper on my lungs and throat. oh the joys of Michigan living. i want to be healthy. not being able to sing sucks.

I made killer soup today. I love these made-up soups that end up tasting awesome! it's like a beef/barley/veggie soup. sooo delicious. (too tricious) ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4699241/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4699241/ Tue, 01 Mar 2005 05:32:52 PST
Since everything the Raney's were going to do was cancelled because it's snowy and crappy outside, I get to stay home. Now, any other day, like one of their normal homeschooling days....I would probably have to go anyway because they would be staying in as usual, to do school. and wouldn't realise the crappiness of the roads. but today....*happy sigh*
I get to stay home. and i'm already up, so no staying asleep til 1pm. because that starts me in a cycle i cant get out of...i might crash soon though. because i've been up since 7am, and went to bed at like 2:30/3am. I cant remember. I couldn't get to sleep anyway, it's anyone's guess. ok now for a nice hot bowl of Cream of Wheat...
oh joy for snow... ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4674846/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4674846/ Sat, 26 Feb 2005 00:37:37 PST
poo on that.

not much happening in christy land...staying up too late as usual, listening to music, making music, making pictures, etc. etc.....

could be, Zaphod, only COULD BE. only if you DO YOUR JOB.
life is wasted on the living.

Zaphod.....if ever you find you need help again.....please don't hesitate to GET LOST. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4618908/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4618908/ Sat, 19 Feb 2005 00:20:32 PST so Dorian and I went to go see the Ninjas and Cojum Dip tonight. They were recording it all fancy crazy for a DVD. I can see it now.....I'll be the chick in the front during most of it. the one with a pink hat. i could see myself so easily on the big screen. lol.
So i came home, went into the bathroom, and developed the black and white roll of film i shot. and am now scanning the negs. I'm so effing tired, but these shots are priceless: Stephan, you were right. Cojum Dip is oh so interesting for photos lol. "interesting" seems like an insult it's so mild. they're....WOW.
so, stay tuned for photos from tonights wild adventures.

BY THE WAY, thank you thank you DOUBLE THANK YOU to whoever set up the lighting at tonight's show. I'm so sick of crappy bar lighting - this was lit so well (i know it wasn't for me, per se...it was for the video cameras, but whatever.) and so completely, and so...yummy. THANK YOU, whoever you are. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4523551/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4523551/ Mon, 07 Feb 2005 18:32:12 PST
I want coffee....whoop there is some right in front of me. nevermind.
so i have a lot of photos i want to post, but the scanner's being a bitch and wont work with my computer, i'm thinkin it's because my computer sees it and is like, "what the hell is THAT. that is NOT hardware i accept and support, i'm SO sorry." in short, my computer is an elitist, and apparently wont stoop to accept a scanner that's actually the same brand as it is. what a hypocrite...
in other news, i still need a second job. so if you hear about cafe's that are hiring, or whatever...let me know.
there's absolutely nothing left to say, except i've almost finished disc 5 of 7 of the Alias:Season 3 set. i'm excited. it's oh so good. only downside is, i think i'm being followed. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4412928/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4412928/ Tue, 25 Jan 2005 16:05:24 PST ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4404842/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4404842/ Mon, 24 Jan 2005 17:10:17 PST gaaaaaaaaaarrrrr....
finally listening to christian music for the first time in forever. we'll see how long this lasts, because i truly don't enjoy the trite, unimaginative quality of most christian music. upshot of the worship stuff is that i can sing along with all of it quite easily. *sigh*
someone should create christian music that doesn't sound like christian music. i know they all try, but you just end up with some tattoo-covered, former cocaine junkie with stringy hair, who used to play metal with his buddies in seedy bars, and now screams "Jesus saaaaaves" over and over in different, not-so-seedy bars with a tattered new group he named after his late drummer "Spike" who died from the long-reaching effects of his prolonged heroine use, but thank GOD he gave his life to the Lord before he died, for what it was worth. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4381801/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4381801/ Sat, 22 Jan 2005 00:20:05 PST so gorgeous. it's snowing outside, and my skin is drying out and falling off. my hair is really long now, today i couldn't find my keys (but found them eventually under Morgan's bookbag, WTF?!) i made a huge pot of chicken and potato soup, i went to see phantom of the opera, then got denny's......whoops, anyway and now i'm back at my apartment....safe as can be, while our world full of dirt and grime gets a fresh coat of white paint. until we trash THAT layer of cleanliness, as well. with our snow plows and salt trucks and gravel trucks, and all manner of safety-promoting vehicles. i want to go to a wedding, i want to have some bailey's and maybe a guinness, because guinness is a beautiful thing. my eyes are burning, because they're not used to forced air heating. all my growing up we had hot water radiators. viola. now i wake up with a dry throat and unhappiness in the nose. every morning. maybe summer will be different here. mmmmmm....summer.....

the heat and parties and staying out late,
and warm nights on hills
with boys and girls
and staring at the sky
like it's not just a sky,
but a whole other existence
and a new way to experience life
is on the tip of your tongue,
if only you could have
another drink or stay up
another hour it would
come to you because you're
young and free and this is life, isn't it?
and if we could just figure it all out now,
we'd be on the path to living
the RIGHT life that will bring us that
elusive and vague thing we call happiness,
and if only if only.....
vague wantings and yearnings
and summer warm talks
with friends in the evenings
on porches and in kitchens,
and gathered around tvs
while flies bumble against screens
and the sunset turns everything in the room
orange and hot to the touch,
and we wander into the basement
and search for something cold
to chill that burning yearning thirst
that wells up deep within us,
that cries out to be fed
and nurtured and raised up
into a movement or something far grander
than just something we found in our minds
one very hot summer's day. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4298985/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4298985/ Tue, 11 Jan 2005 22:44:03 PST it's like i never left home

eating pineapple from the can
listening to dream theater

where would you go
how long would you stay gone
and how hardcore would
your escape really be?

gums stinging from pineapple juice
head spinning from dream theater
logic passed out cold on the floor
pictures stare i become aware of
neighbors smoking something odd
roommates sleeping (that's NOT odd)
fuzzy slippers slipping slowly
curly hair that's ever growing
headphones turning up volume
of pending crazy/reckless anthem. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4250181/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4250181/ Wed, 05 Jan 2005 21:56:30 PST that's not the point.

what is the point?

i like....
techno and image editing
live shows by my friends' bands
finding new things, like feathers and broken pottery
oh and new bands
baking and cooking
photography
photography
photography
singing in the dark to nobody but myself
used clothes shopping
coffee
mugs and bowls
Polaroid film
making music with my dad (way too much fun)
the feeling of frozen flour
courderoy and fleece
my computer
you ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4223421/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4223421/ Sun, 02 Jan 2005 18:40:49 PST i bake bread when i'm pissed off.
go figure.
better to punch the bread than you, huh?
watching momento, as well.
guzzling coffee to keep the cracking up and falling apart to a minimum.

i feel so out of...it. like when you're being pushed over by a wave in a big lake, and you cant stop falling, and before you know it, you've whacked your ass on a big slimy rock and your eyes and hair are full of sandy, fishy water. ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4172189/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4172189/ Mon, 27 Dec 2004 19:18:52 PST attention everybody: i am MOVING!
i have a moving date. that is more tangible than than....anything. a move-in date. a time by which i must pack up my life and move it. to an off-site location. to a place that has green walls just like home. but that's where the similarities stop. well. yeah. and wednesday is a ninjas show that i get into for free. because i'm on the mcfriggin "guest list." i didn't know there even WAS a guest list....

oh yeah, the moving date is the weekend of the 8th of january. any boys wanna help me move all my stuff?
i have a lot. it's not all coming with me, but i would like to bring enough of it. to live. and stuff.
eeeeeee!! ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4142770/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4142770/ Fri, 24 Dec 2004 06:09:26 PST but that's not....important.
last night was kind of stupid. i'm getting tired of the whole band scene. guess i'm not cut out for screamo, huh lol. i would love it if the music was any good, but last night's wasn't much to look at. sheesh.
mad world... ]]> ~speckers http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4083853/ http://speckers.deviantart.com/journal/4083853/ Thu, 16 Dec 2004 20:18:45 PST why....do i feel like i'm suddenly without a direction...
i miss my buddies from class already!!
strange noises coming from party next door, critiquing same work for fifty-millionth time, cookies and cider....and it all seems so...anti-climactic.
sadness like whoa. ]]> ~speckers