http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:spehygirl&section=today deviantART RSS for by:spehygirl en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 23 Dec 2009 06:28:47 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/11220288/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/11220288/ Thu, 28 Dec 2006 08:37:36 PST
There's a couple reasons behind that though.
1) I'm too busy with school and novels.
2) I was grounded.
3) Artist's Block. No good ideas.
4) Nobody bloody watches me.
5) My scanner is broken.
6) And my frickin' tablt pen it MISSING!

And its been bloody hell lately because I desperatly WANT to put something up because God knows that I've improved alot since the last submission. I guess I'm a little irritated lately and my temper with people has been flaring quite alot. But, I'm cooling down because I don't want to be mad. Never ever want to be mad.
>>
<<
There's consequences. Well I'm just updating if anyone cares, that I can't submit anything until my scanner is fixed and I buy a new tabby pen. Ah well,
It's all good.
Merry Late X-mas, you guys!
-Spe

]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/8384569/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/8384569/ Thu, 06 Apr 2006 13:30:00 PDT The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly.
In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names.
Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours."


1) I am deadly afraid of bugs that sting such as wasps, bees, hornets and etc. I usually stiff up like a cat when I see one or clutch onto someone.

2) I used to wear guy's clothing. It was fun until I got boobs.
>< aint they a pain?

3) I suck on spoons alot but I have no idea why in the world I do. And dun say anything nasty to that. It's just what I luv to tdo. I especially do it when I eat pudding in the morning. >< :LOL:

4: I snort... sometimes..

5: Even when I dress up, I put on this huge brown jacket that is an article of guy's clothing. >< I can't help it. I feel exposed!!

6: Anyone want to fill this in, I can't think of anything ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/7205315/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/7205315/ Fri, 02 Dec 2005 16:36:58 PST I died from natural causes:
I said I liked you:
I kissed you:
I lived next door to you:
I started smoking:
I stole something:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got into a fight and you weren't there:

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
Personality:
Eyes:
Hair:
Family:

WOULD YOU:
Be my friend?:
Keep a secret if I told you one?:
Hold my hand?:
Take a bullet for me?:
Keep in touch?:
Try and solve my problems?:
Love me?:
Date me?:

HAVE YOU EVER:
Lied to make me feel better?:
Wanted to kiss me?:
Wanted to kill me?:
Broke my heart?:
Kept something important from me?:
Thought I was unbearably annoying?:

AND M0RE --*
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
6. Describe me in one word.
7. What was your first impression?
8. Do you still think that way about me now?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When's the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Are you gonna put this on yours to see what I say about you?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
Got this from a friend. Thought it was interesting. ANSWER DAMNIT!
lol
-sPE- ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/7034856/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/7034856/ Sun, 13 Nov 2005 11:59:04 PST But I do have big news!!
I am workong on a set of 'bishonen boys' and I have them all drawn out and everything. Each one has a distinct personality and style. The only bad thing about it is that they're all on friggin' notebook paper becuase since I have an art class, all my art stuff's gotta be in my sketchy-pad. I have to practice my realism which I may say is getting alot better. I'll put on picture up that I actually inked and try to vary myself in the line thickness and stuff. So I'll put that up today.
More news!! I gots a boyfriend!! >XD His name is Chris and he is a theatre major at my school. I luv him to death and he's so kyute and funny. Bit on the perv side but I can deal with that. But hey! What boy isn't? Well actually, my boyfriend isn't "THAT" type of perv, so don't think he's like "OMG! I touched that girl's ass." Nah. Chris aint that type of perv. Definatly. ^^ A gentleman. He dealt with my parents better than I expected. He thought my mom was nice but he knew that my dad was all GRRR about him.
Hey, he's my dad!
Other news: Inspiration Declaration!! I've had many inspiring dreams and thoughts lately, so LOOK OUT FOR SOME either
FUNKY work
Or CREATIVE work.
Anyways. About that story. This was inspirired by my friend
and her story Ninja Kuri. (I helped her w/ the title, go me!)


~~BEGIN~~~

Spe is pacing throughout her room when this giant pumpkin comes out with a plastic katana. She's like wtf? You're stupid. Effin Die.
So spe kills him but her attempts are wasted and so the pumkin laughs in her face. "HAHAHAHA! You cannot defeat me!!"
Spe recognizes this voice and jumps on the pumkin and holds on to it by it's stem. "I know who you are come on out!!!"
The pumkin twirls her round and round until the stem pops off, flinging spe on the ground. She looks at the pumpkin now with a smile playing her face.
"Hello, Kadaj." Spe says as she looks at a dressed up kadaj in a pumpkin suit.
He gives her a deathly glare but then his face gets redder and redder and redder. Spe walks casually to him and puts her arm around him.
Kadaj's facial expression in priceless. It's like alittle child's look when you find him stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. Spe asks him in a soft voice, near his ear, "What are you doing in a pumkin costume?"
He reddens some more and then randomly points to the shadows,
THEY MADE ME DO IT!!!!
So out of the shadows comes Sephiroth (BUM BUM)
He grins.
~~~END~~~
Yea, random crap!! w000t! Now jenni, you make a name for it :3

Well My hand hurts hahah!
Bia Bai! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6512060/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6512060/ Thu, 15 Sep 2005 13:49:42 PDT I AM 15!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
yea!!
ok..
'nough of that.
I dont feel any different than the day before my birthday.
I did however

GET A TABLET!!!! Wacom graphire

So ever since the 11th (my bday) Ive been working with photosop elements on a picture which I just submitted a sec ago. Some more interesting news is that progress reports come out and im nervous as hell!
I'm really sorry that I have to make all my journals so short but my duties have been pounding me for some time now. So please check out my lastest work and critique it!!

Ja NE!
SPE ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6433757/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6433757/ Tue, 06 Sep 2005 16:06:16 PDT I was sitting on my bed looking out the window. It was raning and very wet. I instantly thought of the people in Katrina and becuase it makes me sad thinking about it. I gazed over to my COOLIO calendar. 5 mroe days til my B-day, I thought. Of corase, I'm going to be 15! which to me is super cool but kinda scary becuase it's like, "Whoa... I'm sorta a young adult now."
So I sat there and eventually laid there and thought the thoughts of an adult.
I made a desicion there! Since I already gave up my b-day present up for the new computer. (we're tight in money this time of year ) Why don't I give the money that I get for the Katrina fund? It may not be much but still it could peoplel that really need it.
I told my mom and she told me to think about until my birthday comes. So I donno but my answer is tilting to yes.
katrina fund here I come.
Ja ne
Spe! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6404772/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6404772/ Sat, 03 Sep 2005 11:10:27 PDT
My scanner won't work.... I lost the software to install it.
I might have to still take your offer Ev.
I am really bumbed. -cries-

I'm out.

SPE

1 minute later edit:


never mind. I found it.

SCANNING NOW!!!!!!!!! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6399370/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6399370/ Fri, 02 Sep 2005 17:04:02 PDT I'll give you the sum up;
its an hp, flat screen and its soo cool!
I can see color now. I have to do a bunch of things. I have contest that I haven't even worked on, so I need to make this short.
Highschool is ass. Not in a good way either. Its really ahrd and I come home in sleepy mode. I need todo homework too.
Art class is really cool and I'm learning rapidly. Soon my works will be beter and I wil have more watchers and page views! yay! Tomorrow morning I will begin the scanning process and but up some stuff. About 4 or 5 I think.

Well, I do need to take a shower. I stink. +_+
See you later! Thanks for sticking with me!!!

SPE ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6334403/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6334403/ Fri, 26 Aug 2005 13:52:37 PDT
I am coming to you from my broken computer!!!!!!
I am sorry for not being able to do so much over this week because well, my computer clunked out on me again.
Mom says that we'll be able to get a new computer this weekend, next weekend or the next. hopefully soon. This leads to some bad news. No tablet. Mom says that since we didn't get our season bonus they can't afford both.
But it doesn't really bother me much. I'll try to save up for one . For now, my pencil and mouse!
OK!!!!! Belated news!!!!!!!!

I am in highschool!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! YEEEAA!!!!!!!!! Go me! Its pretty cool. I met some really cool artists who I can definatley learn from. I learned some cool techniques that i'll put in some new pics. OMG! I feel so small! Almost everyone is taller than me. I ish only 5 2
o.o
This leads to some more bad news. Scanner is broken too.
So that means I can't do any art online or on paper. My scan-to-do-lsit is piling up. I am doing more poems. I hope thats enough. Deji-chan. I finished you belated present but, I can't scan. I feel so bad for it being this late and even later cuz my compy is broken. Pwease forgive me.
Last news: << >>

I am
ALMOST !5!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I ish going to be drving soon. ....
...
.. creepy huh?

Well I need to do more essays and stuff like that. I keep procrastinating and thats not healthy.

SEE U LATER!!!!!!!!

<3 SPE! I ISH OUT! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6223709/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6223709/ Sun, 14 Aug 2005 10:09:33 PDT
I have a 5-6 year old computer a 98 that thinks it's a ME. My computer monitor goes to standby for 5 days!! And I finally get the computer back up. I tried depfragging it but it won't let me. I just though THE HELL WITH IT! I'll just clean it up. I deleted EVERYthing that didn't need which is about half my memory. I even deleted all my episodes which i downloaded and HAVEN"T watched yet. However I was able to save come FMA eps and a movie I downloaded like 3 months ago. I guess I'm good.
I stayed up to 4 in the morning fixing this thing and it apparently ISN'T fixed. -.- I wake up at 10 in the morn and my mom is on the computer. I think, "ok. I fixed it up, so mom's ok." 10 minutes later I'm eating Cookie Crisp, watching some old eps of DNAngel downstairs when she comes to me. "Melissa," she says, "The computer isn't working."
"Maybe it froze?" I thought becuase my mom doesn't know much about computers. I go into the computer room and the screen is on Safe mode. I laugh and tell her to simply restart the computer. It's still there. The screen is all messed up. No good colors. I can't see a thing.
Restart...Restart...Restart...Restart...Restart...Restart...Restart...Restart...Restart...Restart...Restart...Restart...Restart...Restart...Restart...
It's...
Still....
There....
Now I am here, writing this journal with a safe-mode-like screen in front of me. I see gray, blue, maroon, yellow and black. (other colors are there but not many )
I tried doing some oekaki this morning but I can't see a thing!!! So no more oekaki til this computer is fixed or until we get a new computer. Mom says that very soon we will.
PRAISE THE LORD!
So what I'm trying to say is, deviantart is going to be hard to access for a while. I can see the devs and i can comment back. I'll do some skechies and other stuff. It's just going to be hard to do it. I shall try!! I shall succeed! I am one determined DA artist! Mwahahahah!
So no more oekaki and digital art.

GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
I'm going into highschoool! I've walked the halls at open house and I think I'm going to die there. 3 stories 6 (or more) stairways. They messed up my schedule but I'll get achange friday. I'm a little nervous but I'll get over it after the 1st week. Everybody says highschool is fun and hopefully it is. I can't wait for the art classes though. I can really expand my abilities now. WEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy! I'll be 15 soon and I need to look for jobs. I like to work (not labor) but you know what I mean. I wanna work at a restaurant and serve tables. There's this Japanese restuarant which has not many customers so I want to work there on weekends. If
I'm old enough. Oh well.

OTHER NEWS:
I ish officially girly-like. NOT GIRLY GIRLY. But girly enough to be called a girl. .0: I have skitrs and a small and I MEAN SMALL!!! amount of makeup and I don't wear such dark clothes any more. I like the change and I want to post up a picture but I don't have a camera. Ack.

I'll scan some pictures today or later.

My eyes hurt. =_=

Ja NE!

-Spe- ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6111454/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/6111454/ Tue, 02 Aug 2005 10:48:52 PDT I'm pretty short at least for my age. I bet he was as tall as you Evan. OOH@ I forgot to mention the news on the tablet. The news is:

I have a PLAN!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to pay for half of it whie my mom pays the other half 4 my b-day. I printed the pages out and my mom hasn't looked at them. Hell she hasn't even touched it. Literatlly. It's still in the basket ontop of the china cabnet thingy. -.- -sigh

Well I am working on loads of stuff but im too lazy to upload them. Sorry about the nude picture. I really wanted to expand my potential in realism and when i was sketching an angel came in mind and i don't know what an angel wears. Everyone imagine them wearing some type of robe but robes are so plain, y'know. Getting off that subject. The one thing I want you all to look out for is a story. I promise you it's going to 'interesting.' It's sorta a reanactment of my vacation but wackier. The role consists of the role of Little Loved One. (The doushin is really hard to keep up with so I'm going to convert it to words instead of pictures. I hope this is ok.) The characters are
Sephiroth
Kadaj
Loz
Yazoo
Divine ( )
and mysrlf and the cast is going up into the mountains and EVERYThing goes wrong but in the end they enjoy them selves. :^^:
The story is alittle taste of the larger story so i will post it up in about a week after i finish reading my book for school.

I have to go, so I shall see you later.

Ja NE!

-Spe-

~~~Mesage for ~~~~~~
Tampax >XD ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5980348/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5980348/ Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:56:20 PDT
Thanks KAMI!!!!!


4 U!!!! <3

Well here and there, everywhere. That's where I'll be!

OH!!!
Requests are also back!! Give me a note if you want a request!! ^_^ Just no nudity unless its a nude mythical creature like a fairy or an angel or w/e. ^^


JA MINNA!

-SPE- ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5849583/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5849583/ Tue, 05 Jul 2005 17:30:36 PDT

Anyway, sorry you guys about the ban and not submitting anything lately. I have to read 3 books and write a journal about them, so I've been busy but I am working though.

More news, Sunday, I was supposed to go to FL but there's a hurricane so we're going somewhere else. TENNESSE!!! Never been the mountains before. We're going to DollyWood, some themepark there. It's all about the country and stuff. I can't wait to go because I love nature but "I HATE COUNTRY!" Donno why, just not my type of music, that's all. Well, I'm going to TRY to sketch some scenery though it's not my best skill. Ive did many collabs, but I dont want to submit them at the moment cuz I've done too much digital and I need to vary in my works. ^^ 37 more days till my b-day!! yay!!!
I hope, I'm praying for a tablet. XD Thats would be SOO cool but if I bug my mom anymore she'll explode. My friends know how she is.

Just an update, so be onthe lokout for poems and artwork! Ialso joined Xanga but I need to get used to it before I tell you my site.

JA!
-Spe- ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5772429/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5772429/ Mon, 27 Jun 2005 14:08:19 PDT My cousin, Caroline hates to be really deep in the ocean and we finally influenced her to go alittle deeper. I did however catch someways with my sister. I dunked her a couple times before the waves got her, so she got out of the water 30 minuts later. THERE WERE HUUUGE WAVESS!!!! ; They had the biggest waves on the beach. I caught like 30 waves per hour! I did some cool tricks too since I didn't have a boogie board or anything. I laid on the water with the HUUGE waves came crashing but since I was flat I didn't crash. I also did handstands, flips and the matrix thing when the waves were coming. However, I'm not the most balanced person in the world so I did crash, ALOT. You can tell by my skratched up knees and the scratch on my back. Ouch. About 2 and a half hours of play I went to sit in my chair, then eat a sandwich. I didn't plan on falling asleep for half an hour. I more than likely fell asleep becuase I stayed to 4:30 with when she spent the night. When she came over that morning, her and I actually talked to . She's really nice and funny. In Malasia there's like a 12 hour time gap so we were talking to her at 11-2 in the afternoon and she was talking to us at 11-2 AT NIGHT! Alright, BACK TO THE POINT!
I fell asleep and when I woke up
THE HUUUGE WAVES WERE GONE!! The tide had changed, litteratley. Man was I bumbed. I did though go back into the ocean and played for another hour. Then we went home. Now Here I am writing this on their computer. In about 20 minutes we're going to the usual mexican restruant with a waiter named; Salvador. He's so cute or as Caroline would call him, handsome.
The yaoi picture is nearly complete, you can ask jenni it looks pretty cool at the moment. I'll scan it when I get home, then color it that night or the next day. Hehe. I'm also working on a oekaki and did another collab on the site. I was bored and did a pic and was too lazy to color it so one prson is coloring it and another person is doing the BG. The links wil be at the end of the journal.
ALRIGHT!! this concludes my journal! Bye! Bye!
Ja.
-SPE-

The colab:

[link]

The okekaki(SO FAR ):

[link] ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5706265/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5706265/ Mon, 20 Jun 2005 16:44:40 PDT Here they are:
A comic strip
Another realism picture (it looks so cool, but i got more stuff on it i g2 do with it)
And a yaoi picture
never done one so i'll be kinda weird.
Well just an update!
JA!
-SPE- ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5668936/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5668936/ Thu, 16 Jun 2005 17:11:45 PDT YEA!!!!!!!!! Man i am so glad to be back ! I am scanning all my pics and I'm working on two collabs and I'm back.
Its been two months and ive soo missed you guys! SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! -sigh-
Well, I gots lots to upload, so I will update this journal after I scann all these pics and
..............
............
.......
Read and reply to all these messages. ^_^ got to get to work!
JA!

Edit:
Phew, im done. That was alot of scanning and typing and wow
how many did i do, 6?
Well now im tired
nap time.
JA! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5593145/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5593145/ Wed, 08 Jun 2005 20:55:11 PDT
im glad everybody liked my two written works, those two are some of my faves out there.
i have essays but i dont think anyone wants to read 'em. hey, wut can i say i like to write essays. ^_^ im such a nerd. well some more news:
1 i got pictures frmo last year and graduation and other pics. i cant wait to scan them, i have good pics of my friends. i even have one of the few pictures of myself that look good. when u see it, u would never belive that i was a tomboy.
-sneers- oh well

2 my sis did my nails today and they look pretty im not big on nails but my sister is awesme at thme

3 1 day left of subscrition, im going to miss it. tomorrow im going to do aalll i can do with my sibscription and enjoy it

well jsut an uptate nothing much ^^

ja!

Word of the day:
Gleefully ^^

----Quote for ----

"OrimentAAAl!" ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5583565/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5583565/ Tue, 07 Jun 2005 20:22:23 PDT -looks at my pile of disks- :: i seemed to have misplaced it. but i have it on paper and ill have it to you as soon as i can
im realls sorry that i keep procrastinating. im so busy and all that i never have time and i only have 2 hours on the comp and thats in secrecy so..
T.T im sorry..
pwease forgive me.

----Quote for ----

"OrimentAAAl!" ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5574254/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5574254/ Mon, 06 Jun 2005 20:38:24 PDT .> im the princess. ne. i got 2nd anyway. I used all these fancy words and my mom was surprised but i still lost. T.T well dont really care.

back to dev news, i have 10 devs that i need to submit but i cant becuz im still grounded. so when i do, please dont think that when i do, im jsut spamming. i really am working on stuff all the time. and Kami? Im almost done with your b-day pres so when i get back on i will submit it 1st ^^ k? I ahd some really cool dreams lately, one was with the phantom of the opera and one was with my book. these dreams rocked! i posted them in my diary and so i will write them in a journal later. it may sound like nonsense but it made sense to me! haha!


Fear not my deviantart citizens! I am going to submit some work tonight! they are short stories and a poem. please dont be discouraged T.T
its all i could do. i hope you do like them though. It's frm my
BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIG
portfolio from english class. i wanna keep adding to it from all the way to highschool.
So enjoy!

SUMMERS HERE! joy..... i have to clean...
woo-hoo.... oh well. cleanings fun too when you have music to jazz it up. ^____^

This journal will be looooong so deal! mwahahah!

geuss wut happened today!?
i burned myself when i cooked mac and cheese. Aka, i love to cook. its fun to me! well iwas talking to evan on the phone and the noodles stuck to the bottom of the pot. (jenni, u know how annoying that is) i tried to scrub it off gentley and failed. then tried again but the BOILING water came out of the pot and bunred my stomach. (i had a loose shirt on) i have a red mark on my stomach now. I started laughing about it, ask evan , i was. i laugh at my injuries, remember the soft ball. Well, good news the mac and cheese was great,
bad news, i had to clean it up.


I'm off the submit the stuff, i might add on later, so keep an eye out!!


Ja!
Spe

]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5536819/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5536819/ Thu, 02 Jun 2005 20:59:33 PDT i was like
wtf???
then i got into it and its cool
but does anyone have it too?
must know

i wish i could get the subscrition T.T ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5329757/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5329757/ Wed, 11 May 2005 13:10:18 PDT had a party.
I totally forgot about it and ate two peices of pizza for luch. Mrs. F was like, "You know we're having a party today." I didn't eat much of a breakfAst today so I ate the pizza (1.5) then drank 2 pints of milk and then ate pudding. ><
And no im not a pig, I aint even a least bit chubby.
Well thats not true, I have a bit of a gut. XD
Well I ate 2 more pieces of pizza then a cookie and a donut.
GOSH! I ATE A BUNCH! Never ate that much in my life, gosh....
Has anyone out there ate too much and then you felt sick and drunk?
Apparently I did feel that way. Ask Jenni. I was a nutcase outside. XD I actually, tried to umm..
Make a snow angel in the hard rock cement and rolled over.
I need to lie down. All I can say is, I will never eat that much again,
I'm on a diet.
Til the end of the week that is. XD
I'll try to eat more healthier from now on.
NOW TO BURN OFF THESES CARBS WITH SOME LAPS AROUND THE POOL. When I get to the pool this week!


Ja, ne!
SPE> ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5289145/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5289145/ Fri, 06 May 2005 22:21:22 PDT Sorry if i didn't comment on all my friends devs.

ok heres the bad news;

im going to be idle for a loong time. maybe 2 months max. every so often when my little nephew comes over and sleeps in the computer room, i sneak on and add some stuff.
MOSTLY oekaki cuz the scanner is too loud and i dont want to wake him.or mom. read my prev journal to know the full thing on hwo i got grounded. well, im working on some stuff, and i decided that im going to quit little loved one;the doushjin, and make it a fanfic thing. i can be more efficent with that. well hopefully i wont have many messages when i get back.


SEE YOU! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5103193/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5103193/ Sat, 16 Apr 2005 11:40:58 PDT ^_^ thanks for all teh favs and comments, I luv it when im gone for 3 days i have a bizillion things to check (mostly devs though XD)
I submitted a bunch of stuff so ill be even more busy when i get back.
I don't know how longi ll be gone, maybe two weeks? i donno
my lip is a lot better and i didn't get a chance to take a pic. T.T sowwie-ness. hEY, kAMI, i'M GETTIG BETTER AT HANDS, NO? lol
i will though when i get back have some work, mostly oekaki i bet XD
CONGRADS TO You got in!!!!
No for jenni!!!!!!!!!!! ok i gotta go now...
BYEZZZ TO ALL MY FANS and crap and stuff like that jk jk
CRAMPPPP!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH -hunches over- ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5055035/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/5055035/ Mon, 11 Apr 2005 14:32:11 PDT
Edit: As all my school friends know, I got a bloody, swollen lip Heh. It looks terrible, heh, yea... It looks like I have a HUGE bolder on my lip. Maybe I should take a pitcure and put it as a scrap. So this is what happened, I'm bored so I'll put it into like a story-thingy. (Haha! You have to put on the song,"Kiss My Ass" by Benfolds Five while reading this XD )

I put on my softball glove and hand the ball to my friend, Matt. We distanced ourselves to get ready to throw lowballs and flyballs in PE. (I luv flyballs and so does he :3) He throws a flyball and I catch it. Lowball, same result. This went on for about 10m minutes until,
"Matt! Go alittle further, I wanna see if I can catch it at alittle farther away." I suggest to him. He nods and give his 'fat mat' smile. (Hahahah!) Matt backs away acouple feet and he winds up and throws! A hell of a good throw, I will admit. I run and run and run, looking up, holding out my glove (fingers up :3) and
WACK! It hits me straight in the mouth. (owie) I fall to the ground, blinking rapidly spitting swabs of blood. "That.. hurt.." (I wasn't mad and It wasn't that much blood but still I was spitting for while later afterward) Matt comes running and I look up at him and got back up spitting SOMETHING. Mr. Murphy comes over to me and takes a look at me. "You okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It just hurt that's all."
A conrosed teen asks me if I shoudl go to the nurse. "What?? I am not weak, it's only a lip! I don't need the nurse." I thought. ( yea im really stubborn and dont like people seeing me when I'm down. "Nah. She's fine, Just go to the portabable and wash your lip." Mr. Murphy tells me reading my mind. I nod and do as he says. I look into the mirror of the bathroom in the portable. "Damn. It looks bad." I said smiling noticing something was REALLY wrong. When I had spit, SOMETHING: that something was a brachet to my braces!!! "My mom is going frickin' kill me!" I said to the mirror. (no comment)
[I well cried over that. My mom needs surgery on her arm so something like this would proabably alter the time and place. ]
I didn't go to the nurse and I should have because the swelling didn't go down at All! When I told me mom on the phone what happened when I got home, all hell broke out.
"Why didn't the teachersend you to the nurse?!" She complained.
"Mom, It itsn't that bad! I'm ok! It was just a lip and a bracket!" I fused. This argument went on and on! Ack! I assume she called the school. I finally grab some ice hoping that the swellind will go down some and heading into the computer room to write this...

it actually really does hurt quite a bit and the swelling ins't going down. I hope my mom won't fuss at it. I don't think it's that bad really.
Well actually it is -.- but, it was an accident so, she really doesn't need to worry like that. I'm not that weak. I didn't even cry over it. (Well i did but it was becuase of what was to come.)
Heh. I guess I really was bored. Wow. That's alot. I hope you guys took the time to read it becasuse thsi journal will remind me of my 1st swollen bloody lip. ^_____^ ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4916808/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4916808/ Sat, 26 Mar 2005 14:25:15 PST Well I got a shot not too long ago, I SWEAR MY WHOLE ARM WAS NUMb FOR AT LEAST 2 HOURS! lmao. I finally have a thousand page views! I feel like a true deviantartist now! And yes, evan I am working on it, but drawing a emo cupid is realy difficult so it might take a while. Sowwy.
And I have another request due for jenni, and yes I working on it. And again, a kissy scene is really hard. T.T REALLY HArD! I don't want it to look gay, well it is, but I don't want it to look bad. ^-^ I also have some stuff that I just haven't scanned, a couple actually. The closest to finish is the sequel to the PWEASE deviantation and if you would look at jenni's comment, it is EXACTLY what she said.
Little Loved One Page is doing ok, but Sephy is really hard to draw sometimes!! AND HANDS! OMG! that is taking me the longest. I'm getting better though
If you noticed, Kami, I am trying to do hands on all of my art. :3
One more Oekai is almost done too, which I would say it is doing GREAT! Best I've done yet!
Mwahahahahhahahaha!
Well, I gots to go!!!!!
-Spe -
~requests are limited to only 2~ ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4874929/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4874929/ Mon, 21 Mar 2005 17:50:07 PST The funniest things have happened to me.
I keep falling. I fell down the stairs.
My step dad my sis heard and they were like "YOU OKAY?" I answered,
"Yes my butt and my elbows hurt realy bad."
Now they mock me going you went
Thunk
thunk
thunk
THUNK THUNK THUNK!
(1st three is when I was walking down the stairs"
2 hours later,
I fell in the tub 3 times!!! First when I got up to get the soap and when I fell and tried to get back up,
I fell again....
ow.. yes very oww indeed. I fell againwhen I tried to get out of the tub, I hit the sink. lol. gosh I am about the clumsiest person in the whole world!
Well I thought it was funny so I wrote about it. ^^ ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4872270/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4872270/ Mon, 21 Mar 2005 13:09:03 PST .>
well I did alter my Spe character picture so i guess the legs aren't as long.
well I have some good news, soon i am going to put another page of little loved one, im almost through i got like. um.
2-3 panels left to do. I really have been working hard on school latley, so that's why i haven't been able to put alot up bu more good news!
My Language arts's class has been doing a portfolio so we can see how much progress we have made. I have a couple of short one-shot fics that might interest you, ^_^
one about Fruits basket
one about the future
some essays that are verry interesting (ill put them all together)
and some others
Hope you'll like them. ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4497154/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4497154/ Fri, 04 Feb 2005 14:57:52 PST can u believe that??!! i was just as shocked! the pe teacher thought i said m_f but i really said motherfudjer. and i got suspended. ._.U im keeping a low profile and i hope the school doesn't find out.
but!!!!!!!!!
I GOT IN! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-victory dance- ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4445794/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4445794/ Sat, 29 Jan 2005 13:52:15 PST a voo doo doll
or a zebra
or a guys foam head with a straw hat
or a trumpet.
that was the hardest still lifeive ever done in my life, nvr knew art would wear me out so much
wait.. oh yeea! i stayed up to 1 working on my portfolio that night so, ^^U thats y i was tired.
The next day was horrible but if u seriously wanna know about it, since its so complicated etc, im making a short storie! ^^ wee!

DISCOVERY::: dumb ass me didn't check the orignal AC site to see if there is a new trailer and there are two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-runs around in circles- i nvr knew what they souunded like and i was like:
"OM OMG OMG! Kawaii!!!"
kadaj was so aesome and vincent was like,
"BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!" oh so fast so im thinking,
"damn... for a silent guy he talks fast..."
i really couldn't make out yazoo voice... i wish i could. Marlene's voice is soo cute. ^^
That is my discovery and here the link if u wanna see it urself or if you haven't seen the site yet. ^^U the only bad thing is, its in japenese!

[link]

go there!!!! mwahahaha!

ps Little One_page 4 is being postponed for a bit for reasons that will remain secret. but iill try to get to it as soon as possible!
Ja ne! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4387537/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4387537/ Sat, 22 Jan 2005 17:49:18 PST -runs around in circles-
GrRRR! i know wut gonan be there but i have no idea wut to expect!
-ish about to explode-
-teary eyes- Meh scared!!!!!!!!!!! wut i if i dont make it?? that means that would lessen my chances of going to this REALLY (and i mean really) advance college!
gr...
Evan did good and im sure everyone else did, but.. i really wont have any people i know there tuesday. about everybody that audition at my M school did it today.
im about to burst!!!!
I really want to pursue in art but if i dont get in this damn school. it wont ruin it, but make me relectant in art. AWWWWWWW man!!!!! i gotta draw like hell!!!!!!! grr!!

Kadaj: Are u always like that when ur nevous?

YES!

Kadaj: huh?

I need a hug.

Kadaj: aww. ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4380854/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4380854/ Fri, 21 Jan 2005 21:24:07 PST Aww. its so sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i ultimately wanted to write a poem or do something but my brain sht down. i needed to sleep. god its late!
tuesday i have an audition for an art school and im all freakin out. i donno why, im just nervous, i also found out one of my friends cant do an audition becuase of her grades last year.
I STILL LUV U JENNI!!! go give her page veiws to cheer her up

Wish me luck!

I GOT PG 3! UP!! please check it out!!

I FOUND OUT KADAJ IN ADVENT CHILDREN IN IN HIS LATE TEENS!!!! this big news for me becuase i like kadaj!

Kadaj: ....

-silly grin-

As ayame from frutis basket would say,
....
..
..
Ja bai bai! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4362903/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4362903/ Wed, 19 Jan 2005 18:09:32 PST it was like a friggin double dream and it was freaky and butt ass hillarious. XDDI really dont have many dreams about Sephy and all. =.=U i usually dont dream and i shee dawrk dawrknesh!
I dreamt that Cloud and Sephy were chibies and they shouting all these corny phrases: Lemme describe it:

Cloud: -waving his hands around vioulently- you girly man!

Sephy: Look at you spikey brain!

Cloud: Spikey wut?!??!? Your silver hair proves ur girly and too sexy for the ladies to handle.

Sephy: Well I am sexy. -devious grin- But the fans luv me more than you! mwahahaha!

Cloud: GRR!
-the two start fighting like girls pullin eachother's hair and trying to pin one another-

-they fall off a cliff-
(what is it with me and cliffs!!!?
~~~ end of dream 1

GAH!! i had a dream I had kissed Kadaj! omigo!
XDDDDD! i would never of guess that! we were fighting and I had this realy cool double bladed sword! i kicked ass!!! but Kadaj let me go:

It started off as Kadaj blowing me away with his blasty handy thingy

I flew harshly toward the ground (was i frgin flyin??)
and fell down now with no weapon.

holy shit, im gonna die! i knew i sided witht he wrong side.

Kadaj slowly walked toawrd me with a really evil grin on his face as I backed up rapidlly with a very strong look on my face. in slow motion the silver bishie cornered me on something (i dont remember =.= ) and neared his face so that our eyes met.

Oh crap. Im gonna die!!

I gulped harshly and kadaj gave a short laugh and then neared his face even closer!

"!!!!!!!!"

Again he laughed as I backed up still on the ground as he smirked,
"I'm not going to kill you, why are you being so, "Oh crap I'm gonna die?"

He can read my mind!!?

My eyes widened in surprise and looked away.

"Why? I sided with Cloud. da good guys"

"So wut? Anyways you're too cute, too kill." (oh gawd his voice was so sexy when he said that!!) My eyes met once again to his crstal blue eyes and he gave the most sincere smile Ive ever seen that instantly made me blush. (gawd! it was so adorable!!) Then, Kadaj kissed me.
~~ end dream 2

sadly I then woke up. Aww i wish that dream was longer than it was.

I liked that dream! XD i might do a short fanfiction to that when i have time XDD!

I know this entry is uber long but i hoped u enjoyed it!
ja bai bai!

Sephy: You have a new girlfriend? =3

Kadaj: !?!? wha! im gonna kill u!

Sephy: Kady's got a girl_friend!! Kady's got a girl_friend!! Kady's got a girl_friend!! -rants on as he is being chased by kadaj-

Break it up you two! it was only a dream!

Kadaj: Yeah, lets end this/

A very sexy dream. z^-^z ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4353470/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4353470/ Tue, 18 Jan 2005 16:20:32 PST THANKS GUY!!!!! -shouts it to the world-
XP
one thing im gonna say now and one more time b4 i add the pages, I suck at hand BADLY and I suck at side faces and I really havn't developed my own style so it might look alittle weird at times but overall IT is hillarious!

Ja ne!

Ps I changed the plot alittle so brose my prev journal for the newer one.

ja bai bai! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4304317/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4304317/ Wed, 12 Jan 2005 16:51:01 PST
A 14 year old girl named, Spe. Runs away fron her home during Winter Break. For 3 days she lived with her uncle and now has no where to go. After a certain, "fall" of events she ends up living with
Sephiroth, who she had a secret crush on ever since she saw him (mwahahhaah!)
BUT! another woman is living with him
DeviantArts own:
Divine Sta.
Pretty much an epic rivalry starts between them and all hell breaks out. Will Sephiroth live through this?

lol, kinda weird but thats basically it. If you need a simpler version -glares at a FRIEND-
Spe runs away, moves in with sephy, find divine is there, hell breaks loose. ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4202431/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4202431/ Fri, 31 Dec 2004 12:55:42 PST CLOUD DID THE HAIR THING!!! OMG! I know I love sephy better but you have to admit thats really sexy.
History lesson:
During 5th grade- the beggining of 7th grade I was all over Cloud. -.- (sephy better though! >
I laughed my head off remember the reaction when I first saw him do that in the KH on PS2.
I was like "OMG OMG OMG! OMFG! he's so hot"
I'm not that immature anymore,
I think...
Randomness ?I just had to put this. lmao! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4151720/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4151720/ Sat, 25 Dec 2004 06:04:03 PST Merry Christmas 2 all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me wuv u!

Ja ne,
Spehygirl ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4140019/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4140019/ Thu, 23 Dec 2004 20:33:20 PST ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4140002/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4140002/ Thu, 23 Dec 2004 20:30:10 PST ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4082979/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4082979/ Thu, 16 Dec 2004 18:20:59 PST
By: Spehygirl (Melissa)

Its so weird... No one really talks to me any more. They used too. People would just come up to me ask me for my advice on something or even come to me with their problems. I would try to help them in any way that I could because I m a friendly person and I love help people. I m starting to believe that I m ugly or stupid or something. Though I m not fat, I m actually pretty skinny and I m in advanced classes by the way. I guess I m invisible to everyone. People are starting to tease me because I like anime. Anime keeps me confident and I find that little piece of adventure that I cant find in reality in anime. They tease me because I stand up to them and I stand up for others. Why is that so bad? I m so clueless... So many Questions fill my mind that they haunt me and affect me. How can I deal with it? Why doesnt anybody do anything? There s that word. Why. The one word that questions a question and befuddles understanding. More questions. Who? Who will ever hold my hand or embrace me with their heart and not their will? I know the answer to that one, no one. Nobody will ever hold my hand or hold me with their heart... And no one will ever see the sorrow that incinerates my brown eyes. Why? Again, but this time I know the answer. It is because their grief, their sorrow, their pain reflects off of my eyes. Thats why so many people change when they see and meet me. Its why I help, and why I hurt.

I am a secret locked away.
No key, no lock, the only thing
that lets me be is
Hope.

Melissa N. (spehygirl)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Damn... Man am I in a really morbid state this week. (this actually was written Tues. in algebra. no one sat next to me. ='( )
Also!! I am still up for requests, including poetry, art, comics and short stories. ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4045482/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4045482/ Sat, 11 Dec 2004 20:53:13 PST ">[link]

OMG! I got 300 hits!!!!!!!! It took a hell of a long time but I finally did it!! I would like to thank
for helping me and supporting me! thanks ev!
I would also like to thank
for watching me and supporting me!
for wathcing me and leaving comments!
I would especially would like to thank for looking over my art, watching me and leaving great comments! (thanks kami-kun!)
for sayin my art rox!
and for giving me my 300th hit! Thanx a bunch!!!
Finally I would like to thank anyone who visited my art! Please continue to look at it!
Lol! Cady to all and to all a thankyou! from melissa, spehygirl! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4019194/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/4019194/ Wed, 08 Dec 2004 13:17:30 PST As of today, I am open for requests! mwahahah! beware i had cake! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3964686/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3964686/ Wed, 01 Dec 2004 13:55:12 PST I wish i could snap.... damn u evan for showing off your snappy fingers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JK. Im hyper and ate alot of sugar, just random stuff. I'm gonna draw a pic of my trying to snap tommorow. -weeps-

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3834849/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3834849/ Sun, 14 Nov 2004 16:29:21 PST It's the simple things in life that inspires me i guess. I look out the window and wut is bestowed upon my orbs? A simple pasture, nothing more, nothing less. It's combination of colors amaze me and leave me in awe. The yellow grains mixed with browner shades of the grass. Umong it, it had dead grains but that only gave it more variety. I look at the stars later that night then look down to see fireflies (yes real fireflies!) grazing the ground. Everything was so silent, everything so peaceful. Till' then I realized something,
"Nature is perfect, but not us."
These phrases always stick in my head, and they pile up on me. but it gives me a comfort really... As well as the feeling that im unvulnerable. I guess im not like most thinkers. For that I'm glad.

Fin!

Babbling, i kno, but it was wut i was thinking on the way back and to my gramp's house. I was bored. ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3808457/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3808457/ Thu, 11 Nov 2004 09:47:56 PST The only thing bad a out them is that they rub against your lips making them feel really weird. Plus, yesterday was my official 1st day with braces and MY MOM TOOK US TO TH TEXAS ROUND HOUSe! Hell! I can't eat anything there! Urg... that really pissed me off. Lol. but it made me laugh afterwards. Well the list is well under way! And my friends and I will ready in about a month or less. If you would like to add any stupid accomplishments, PLEASE DO SO! And my official website is going good too! Its called
Ribrith of A Fanasty, so please check it out when its up. Ja ne, my few friends. ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3771447/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3771447/ Sat, 06 Nov 2004 20:23:41 PST THE BRACES!
URG!! IM GONNA GO CRAZZY!!!!!!!!
I PRETTY MUCH CANT EAT ANYTHING JUST YESTERDAY, I WAS STUCK SCARFING DOWN A LUNCHROOM CHIKEN FAJITA THAT TASTED LIKE IT CAME FROM A COW'S ASS! AND IT WAS CHICKEN!!!! I NEARLY GAGGED AND CHOKED! LAST TIME I ATE SCHOOL FOOD, I GOT FOOD POISON! AND TO TOP IT OFF,

....

I had to eat another fajita. i love fajitas but i cant eat them more than once a day... Well i got my feelings out. oh guess what im working on?
dum dum dum!
Stupid Accomplishment Soon to Be Done
(this is a list in which 40 random goals will be selected)
ITS IN MY MIND BUT NOT ON PAPER! FWAH! signing out... ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3105134/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3105134/ Thu, 12 Aug 2004 04:07:44 PDT GET THE BOARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol! Well, i am pretty scared cause we just move and I dont want my purty house to fall! T-T
I guess I'll just have to cross my fingers and pray for it to pass easily. We are due in a lot of rain today and the rest of this week. 1 whole inch they said. We are near the marsh so another thing to worry about.
Come on, Melissa, calm down.
-sigh-

This is gonna a hell of a week!
Signing off this is Melissa. ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3105129/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3105129/ Thu, 12 Aug 2004 04:07:19 PDT ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3097500/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3097500/ Wed, 11 Aug 2004 07:00:02 PDT

I hope I joined it... ^^ I have no idea how to submit my pics to it but i think ill figure it out! ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3040545/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3040545/ Wed, 04 Aug 2004 08:57:36 PDT ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3013863/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/3013863/ Sat, 31 Jul 2004 20:27:51 PDT By: Melissa


Tormented by the hate of others and thrashed by disappointment, and still I am happy. Got a call saying that my friend was going to take someone else to the anime convention, one of the things that I had been looking forward to for the past year. Still I am happy. My ex called me telling me more rumors, still I am happy. But that’s the only the exterior of me, I may smile and I may laugh but only once in a blue moon am I ever TRULY happy. This smile you see is of grief, anxiety and mostly... guilt. Though today is different, I have every emotion just surging through my heart and mind,
Love,
Sadness,
Heartache,
Disappointment,
Angst,
Jealousy,
Confusion,
Happiness

But no hate? I cannot hate anybody; my heart will not allow it. All my anger is replaced by woe. I may yell and may say “I hate you” but it’s never true... I have never held a grudge ether. For example a couple week ago my mom said to stay away from one of my dearest friends, I was sad, OH YES I WAS SAD, but not angry. I tried to force myself to be cross, but it ended in tears. This confuses me... Like a curse, I am nice, they are wicked, and I fall. Even if I do yell, it is of guilt and even if it breaks into the point of enragement... I break and fall into this numb state in which I am in now. Why Lord?! Why? I am so confused! I feel so binded! I want to soar, I want to fly! Release me from my bondage and set me free from this confusion! I have no answers to my wordless questions! I feel unloved! I feel unwanted! I feel I have nobody! WHY DO I SEE ANGELS IN MY SLEEP THAT BRING COMFORT, THEN CONFUSION, THEN TEARS!
....
..
.
Crying again, this is my true self, my only side in which is only seen by those who are close and then broken... Suicidal I am, I have tried only twice, but realized that I needed to be here, be there for others, be there for family, be there for everyone. It’s tormenting me, but, I’ll be ok! I will do my best! Not for myself, not for others but for the purpose of living! People, these words may go around in circles and they may sound strange, but that’s life... That’s life and we should pull through and live our lives to the fullest. People these are the words of 13 year old girl who is confused by life but also had much to learn. Why am I happy? Because... We all need little smile to push through...

Words of Melissa N; ^-^
13 years old girl going on 14 next month,
Written; July 31, 3:24. ]]> ~spehygirl http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/2856191/ http://spehygirl.deviantart.com/journal/2856191/ Sun, 11 Jul 2004 12:58:54 PDT
Swiftly gliding in it’s path in the gentle blue sky
And overlapping each other like human emotion
I look at it and reach out to the high
Wishing I could touch and stroke the heavenly motion

My dream is to soar with these graceful waves
To fly and lay upon my dreamy haze
Feeling the sun’s tender rays
And last to see the world’s caring gaze

Only when I’m gone will I see
That the heaven’s glancing at me
Soaring in the heavenly gentle sea
Then I’ll lay on my cloud
I’ll be Free

Yesterday I was listening to the DNAngel soundtrack and I looked at the cloud and it gave me the idea. ]]> ~spehygirl