http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:spunj13&section=today deviantART RSS for by:spunj13 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 23 Dec 2009 02:27:03 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/20015593/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/20015593/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 03:11:15 PDT
apparently my last journal was last summer before i went on tour...
and now i've just come back from the second of this summer's tours.

anyways... i plan on visiting more often and even commenting when the time allows.

we'll see how this works out.
if all goes well... i might even start writing poetry again. (since dA was such a wealth of inspiration before...)

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/13246405/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/13246405/ Wed, 06 Jun 2007 23:54:17 PDT it's going to be intense... or... (in)tents?



[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/11653232/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/11653232/ Thu, 01 Feb 2007 21:12:00 PST
as it turns out.

my last deviation was april 26, 2005.
so...
i'm back.

after nearly two years gone.

lot done changed since then
...

oh well.

not going to go into it.
there's too much to go over.

so...

the PLAN is... to start actually put things up again.
i've got two years worth of work after all... that hasn't seen dA territory yet.

so...

yeah.

plan on that.

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/5721629/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/5721629/ Wed, 22 Jun 2005 08:39:25 PDT Mood: amazed
Listening to: mercury switch - time to shine
Reading: the gates of the forest - elie wiesel
Watching: cool runnings

all right... here's the story.

i've been away from dA for about a month now. i have absolutely NO excuse except for laziness. really. for that i truley apologize.

imagine my INCREDIBLE surprise, however, when i find a piece that is nearly THREE YEARS OLD with a insurmountable amount of comments on it. (i will be responding...it just might take a while)

i think my amazement was partially split between the fact that even though i haven't deviated since april (i really haven't done much since then... though i really should) that i received all these comments... and then... MORE COMMENTS than i've ever had on one piece before, think

this is amazing. it's not the first DD i've had..but it's definetly the most successful.

*plots*

now to get good enough to get a visual DD.... that'd be an accomplishment.

wow.

over 1000 views...that's NEVER happened before.

excuse me while i find my teeth and lower jaw.
i'll be back later.

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/5185007/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/5185007/ Mon, 25 Apr 2005 11:24:55 PDT Mood: stressed
Listening to: copeland - beneath medicine tree
Reading: mother night - kurt vonnegut, jr.
Watching: butterfly effect

sorry to everybody i haven't been commenting on. it was
1. the week before finals
2. now it IS finals week.
3. major projects
etc.

you get the idea. pretty much a lot of late nights and no time for dA commenting.
then after this... the day after finals... i head to toronto for a week. partially to help someone move. partially to take pictures. hopefully i can find some nice photo material. we'll see. i'm not so good with the 'hey look... i think i'll take a picture of that" attitude. studio is much more my thing... so we'll see.

(spunj13)

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/5086308/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/5086308/ Thu, 14 Apr 2005 11:12:42 PDT Listening to: unearth - the oncoming storm

comments are such a wonderful part of dA.

...

i wish i got some.

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/5064255/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/5064255/ Mon, 11 Apr 2005 19:52:10 PDT Mood: ???
Listening to: BlessedByABrokenHeart - AllIsFairInLoveAndWar
Reading: what's so great about america - dinesh d'souza

so... things in the musical world have taken a turn for... the worse.

BUT... i have a plan... as usual.

picture this :

copeland has a head-on collision with the killers.

one synth, one keyboard, bass and drums.
four hardcore kids... playing emo-synth pop.

yes?
no?

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/5047225/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/5047225/ Sat, 09 Apr 2005 23:24:37 PDT Mood: blah
Listening to: the blamed - 21
Reading: hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy

i've finally found what i excel at.

.

.

.

.

.

.

mediocrity.

.

.

.

.

.

.

i could hate myself for that.

.

.

.

.

.

.

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/5043432/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/5043432/ Sat, 09 Apr 2005 14:10:20 PDT Listening to: life in your way - the sun rises and sets....
Watching: futurama

so the gallery went fairly well...
decent turn out, but at least one of my teachers said he's had a bunch of people come to him and ask whose gallery it was, 'cause they really liked it. and on of my co-students/recent graduates seemed shocked about it... he didn't know that i could turn out that much or anything like it...

so despite the mediocre opening, it was well received.

----

i've shot some new SX70 recently, and have begun work on a surreal project (photo... but... very definetly manip) called "as the roots undo" (yes.. i DID steal the name from circle takes the square)

... also have to start shooting for my final... which is due in the next couple of weeks. got that all planned out... just have to shoot it.

going shopping for frames this afternoon... hopefully i'll be able to get some sinker screws too... so much seems to be up in my gallery... i don't have hardly anything on my walls right now... empty living room...

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4948056/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4948056/ Tue, 29 Mar 2005 23:01:14 PST Mood: prying open eyes
Listening to: hum - you'd prefer an astronaut
Watching: family guy

ahh details.

March 31, 2005
Andrews University
Harrigan Hall
Jean Marie Gallery
6:30 pm

through a looking glass darkly:
an ocular incident in two acts


....
so much still left to do. but not so much as two days ago. i'm about half ready. now all i have is a couple more prints and a few hours of spray mounting.

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4899538/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4899538/ Thu, 24 Mar 2005 11:22:56 PST Mood: long long week...
Listening to: norma jean - o god, the aftermath
Watching: whose line is it anyway

my gallery is next week.

so is my birthday. i'll be 24.

there will be no sleeping in the next week while i get ready. i will have the largest pieces ever shown in a photo gallery here.

i have a series of firsts so far...
first gallery to last less than a day
first gallery to incorporate poetry
first to effectively mix medias.

...that was last year. this year i'm just going for big. a mix of digitally composited pieces and darkroom work... unlike anything anybody here's done in a while. (8X10 kodalith positives that will be backlit... halochrome, liquid emulsion... etc.)

so much left to do though... an assignment due on monday.. (bold colour... already shot... still need to scan and work on it)

... more digital compositing and three or four major pieces in the darkroom... hello dew... you'll be my close friend for the next week.

oh yeah... the band (oh captain, my captain) will be playing at the post this weekend in goshen with A Public Hanging, Remember Arlington, Gauge, The Brigade, Until We Bleed Dry and The Unfolding (who has a new vocalist)... so... come see us if you're in the area. we're gonna bleed a lot. (just trust me on this)

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4838473/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4838473/ Thu, 17 Mar 2005 15:36:39 PST Mood: long long day...
Listening to: between the buried and me - silent circus
Watching: city of god (brazilian-subbed)

i have so many ideas to shoot... and i think i finally got the kick in the pants i needed.

i spent the entire night in the darkroom tuesday night, and after going through all my negs and such... i'm not happy with what i have. there' snot enough, or it's not good enough, or what-have you. i should know this is how i work anyways... i am never happy with things for very long.

so i will be shooting as much as i possibly can from now until i can't hold a camera...

ok... at least until the end of school.

i need models. i also need potential nude models. so... if you're in my area (check the geography thing.. it'll tell you.) and want to be shot... then note me...

i've got a few of my first nudes coming up once i scan them... (negs have slight defects i can't understand.. so i have to scan them and clean them.. otherwise i'd do it darkroom... which i already tried.)

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4827650/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4827650/ Wed, 16 Mar 2005 12:51:16 PST Listening to: mae - the everglow
Watching: garden state

so... i spent the night in the darkroom. (with a brief interruption by a firealarm... arg.) i was the only one there so i used.. 6 rooms all at once. i'm really dissappointed with my liquid emulsion results this time though... *sigh*... and halo-chrome? is an unpredictable little bastard.

i still have a lot more to do though... but it'll have to wait until later. i've got 8X10 ortho sheets to make positives. man... so much to do before my gallery on the 31st.

... and this week was supposed to be spring break,...and i'm still not getting anymore sleep.

anyways... the reason for this post. i went into the darkrooms the other night to process... and choi was there (remember that name) ... he was scanning and printing..

and he was... ecstatic? (i think that's probably a mild word for it) he just got accepted into Art Center in california. for those of you who don't know. if you go to art center (and make it all the way through... which i've been told is very difficult... only 25% of every class actually finishes)... you are pretty much set as a photographer... you can go start... you've already made a name for yourself just by going there.

this guy's got some major talent... (he really needs an online portfolio)... so... someday the world of photography will know of Choi. (i'm guessing he'll probably just go by his last name... )

i wish i was more driven towards something lucrative instead of ... artsy stuph.

[spunj13]

p.s. to everybody getting "subscription" notices from me... i was already subscribed to you... i was just organizing my list into groups and so it thinks that i just added you... (and what a long project THAT was... 190 people to move... blarg.)

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4818087/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4818087/ Tue, 15 Mar 2005 08:42:24 PST Listening to: found dead hanging - dulling occam's razor
Watching: family guy

i think it has finally dawned on me.

it doesn't matter how many comments you give, ... people just don't like commenting sometimes.

it makes it hard to be here. i'm here for two things. i'm a narcissist and i like for people to look at my work and even if the comments are negative (constructive) then that's something. and i come here for inspiration.

i get the inspiration.

and maybe a comment every few days.

works out well to be giving 20 to 30 comments a day and get nothing in return.

*sigh*

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4809642/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4809642/ Mon, 14 Mar 2005 10:24:23 PST Listening to: society's finest - love,murder,andathreeletterword
Reading: hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
Watching: the truman show

things just seem to be going... badly lately.

i'm working more than fourty hours this week (good) but that means i don't have much time for working in the darkroom or taking pictures (bad)

my co-vocalist has left the band (bad) and so has the 2nd guitarist (also bad)

this whole band thing is....

WAAAY too much stress than i would like to deal with all at once. it's one thing to go out, book shows, play shows, drive a lot, practice a lot, and not sleep much.... BUT... those i can deal with. it's all this ... well... it comes down to drama... and feeling like i have the inability to control my situation.

i still have another four hours here at work. then i run home... eat some food, and then go to the darkroom... yay for darkroom time. i get to play with either liquid emulsion tonight, OR halo-chrome toners... either one would be fun.... it'd BETTER go well... 'cause i don't need failure today.

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4785151/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4785151/ Fri, 11 Mar 2005 11:10:00 PST Mood: annoyed
Listening to: radiation 4 - wonderland
Reading: a night without armor - jewel kilcher
Watching: garden state

it's a good thing i'm not a photo admin. just browsing the section makes me ... sad/mad/annoyed.

since when do crappy webcam shots (or bad photoshop filter-fest manips) qualify into the "art photography - people and portraits - miscellaneous" section? (or anything other than snapshots or digital darkroom for that matter)...

oh blarg. if you're going to ... snapshot.. then at least put it in the right place. and if you're going to manip it... put that where it belongs...

it's hard enough seeing all the crappy portrait wedding photographers in this area... (and believe me.. there are several.. very kitchy... and not very good *cough*tucker*cough*) but then to have to wade through more crap here to see anything good...

now i remember why it is that i usually just stick to my watchlist...

so if anybody has any suggested photographers taht i should put on my watchlist... please let me know... so i can avoid everything else that is so bad.

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4776631/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4776631/ Thu, 10 Mar 2005 11:04:21 PST Mood: restlescontemplative
Listening to: juliana theory - to the tune of 50,000 screaming
Reading: cool gardens - serj tankian
Watching: be cool

so next week is my 6th spring break since i got to college...
and yes.. i'm still here. i finally settled into something i enjoy.

next week is going to be more stressful than the rest of the semester has been for me. 'the girl' is headed to hawaii so i have lots of time to work on my darkroom and assorted other shooting. i will also be working full time (a little more than that.. i need the money)

i've got a gallery coming up march 31st... so i've got a LOT of work to do for that... funfunfun. it's a mix of gigantic digital prints and darkroom techniques.. (provided i get my stupid LIQUID EMULSION)... arg... it was ordered from B&H TWO MONTHS AGO (or more) and i still don't have it.. and i have to have it for my gallery...

*sigh*

so much to do ...

[spunj13]

p.s. i can't figure it out... i give comments 'til they come out my ears (more than 200 in the last week), but do not garner too many myself... am i doing something wrong. (this is not meant as a poke at anyone who has been commenting... thanks a lot for your support.... very very much)...

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4696725/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/4696725/ Mon, 28 Feb 2005 20:03:01 PST Mood: uhm?
Listening to: andyouwillknowusbythetrailofdead - worlds apart
Reading: still life with woodpecker - tom robbins
Watching: alias season 4? (oh yes i am)

it's been a while since i've posted or commented or generally been a contributing member in any way to this community.

let's see... what all has happened?

i'm very very close to getting my degree
my band has changed members and names and has played many shows. (www.ohcaptain.com)
i have shot many more pictures
i have written a few words
i am working on compiling my book for actual publication. (who wants one?... i have no idea what the cost will be yet...it's about 170 or so pages... a couple short stories.. mostly poetry... who knows... i might work some art in there somehow)

so in catching up... i'll be posting a little bit every day, and trying to actually comment on those of you in my watch list (as it was in the old days)

you'll have to bear with me, because some of what i'll be putting up dates back to ... octoberish. (i think)

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/3854189/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/3854189/ Wed, 17 Nov 2004 01:02:19 PST Listening to: cush - cush
Watching: eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

in other news...

...fall before as we know it has closed this chapter in it's life...
today brought the exit of guitarist and co-founding member ... phil.... our second drummer, nate, has also left... which leaves just me, piper, and the jake. come friday, we will be testing the waters and trying out another guitarist and drummer. (both of which i've heard good things about)....

this isn't an easy time for us as a band... it kind of feels like losing a friend, but we're definetly not done yet... ...fall before just might be... evolving into something different. we shall see where things lead.

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/3731156/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/3731156/ Tue, 02 Nov 2004 06:06:54 PST Mood: voting against bush
Listening to: nofx - war on errorism
Watching: farenheit 9/11

to sum up today... a quote i heard once...

"God bless america shouldn't mean God damn everyone else"

vote for anyone other than bush and keep the rest of the world safe, as well as ourselves in the long run.

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/3722117/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/3722117/ Mon, 01 Nov 2004 06:23:53 PST Mood: pondering
Listening to: moneen - are we really happy with who we are
Reading: chaim potok - in the beginning
Watching: arsenic and old lace

so as i was looking around this morning here on dA, after catching up with my commenting and such... i began to wonder.

what happened to all those other guys i used to be friends with when i started? or even.... what happened to some of the newer people ... olya? chesterfield? faithwalker? many have gone. in fact MOST of my old writing buddies have gone. not to mention the occasional artist/photographer/designer as well. it seems like my list is full of dead names. more than three-quarters inactive players.

i realize that i myself am guilty of this...

but i'm trying to come back now. in not too long i should have things to put up. i'm going to try and start writing again... we shall see what happens.

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/3705296/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/3705296/ Fri, 29 Oct 2004 22:54:24 PDT Mood: well... crap
Listening to: the chariot - and then there was then

why is it that thumbnails don't always work? i just submitted something and *poof*... no thumbnail. now i realize that people look at art based a lot on the thumbnail so... no thumbnail? no views. which sucks... if i can't get views... then no comments, then... no real reason for putting up a piece... i need the feedback.

my narcissism depends on it.

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/2162089/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/2162089/ Tue, 06 Apr 2004 12:13:57 PDT Mood: *huh?*
Listening to: ...fall before - live, fall 2003
Reading: ariel - sylvia plath
Watching: best of the muppet show with john cleese

imagine my surprise when i logged onto dA this morning and found that all of a sudden a deviation nearly a month old has made DD. especially since i didn't think that much of it myself. i'd like the thank jsenn for thinking that it was good enough.

this makes my fifth DD... (if you desire to see the others, i have found that you can actually browse galleries by daily-deviations... which is different.) i think this is a good year for me and dA... a DD a couple days after my birthday AND senior status around the time of my 3rd year being here... (wow.. long time now...)

to those i haven't commented on yet in my watch list... i will get to you... at some point... it's just a matter of finding enough time (notice how often i deviate... )

[spunj13]

p.s. i just found out that contemplicity (a two release writers group that i was a part of) is back... YAY.... now hopefully i'm still included and will be able to get some words in order in time for the next release. for those of you wanting to know where it is... it's linked on the main page of dA.. under artgroups (i think) and is [link] . i only wrote for the first one.. and was too busy for the second... hopefully i'll be on the ball for the third...

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/2134229/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/2134229/ Thu, 01 Apr 2004 23:52:42 PST Mood: *MOO*
Listening to: simon & garfunkel - the sounds of silence
Reading: ariel - sylvia plath
Watching: new england metal and hardcore fest dvd

today i attain 23rd status...

or rather...

i'm 23...

whichever way you want to look at it

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1989916/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1989916/ Wed, 10 Mar 2004 21:09:18 PST Mood: *musical*
Listening to: haste the day - burning bridges
Reading: charles baxter - shadow play
Watching: boondock saints

THIS IS FOR ANYONE IN THE MICHIANA AREA

tomorrow night, my band (still called hindsight) will be opening for the Rain Dogs at czar's bar in St. Joseph michigan (it's downstairs from Shu's restaurant...) i think the time will be about 8... at least that's when we're supposed to arrive...

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1939722/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1939722/ Tue, 02 Mar 2004 14:09:38 PST Mood: *ponderous*
Listening to: trustkill records - blood, sweat, and ten years
Reading: cider house rules - john irving
Watching: oscar

i need a band name...

one of my bands agreed that we would change our name if we ever broke our original line-up... which we did. there are also other bands with the same name. we are currently called [hindsight]. we play a kind of modern/jam/punk/blues/classic rock mix... (i know... it's odd...but our influences range from between the buried and me to pantera to metallica to pink floyd led zeppelin and jeff buckley)

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1830828/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1830828/ Wed, 11 Feb 2004 21:46:29 PST Mood: blarg
Listening to: as i lay dying - 94 hours
Reading: shadow play - charles baxter
Watching: monty python and the search for the holy grail

i would like to, if i may, rant a bit about some of the "photographers" on this site.

1. narcissistic manipulators - this is the type of person who shoots a digital camera and then edits it to high heaven, and submits it to the acclaim of their peers. wait. photography edited so the colours are different and the lighting is different? there are two other specific things about this type of photographer. first off, most of their pictures are of themselves. second, they claim that they have NOT edited anything, when, if you have eyes in your head then you know d*mn well that they have.

2. webcam "artists" ... still not photography.

3. rutters. this one is a little less blatant until you have these people on your watch list... all they shoot is the same thing. 27 photographs of shadows on nudes later you're starting to think... maybe you'd better get them off your list, because how many of the nearly same looking nudes can you look at anyways?

that's the end of my rant for today. i'm just rather bitter that those of us who are sticking our necks out experimentally in either what we shoot, or how we manipulate it in the darkroom (not cheating with a computer... that's DIGITAL DARKROOM) are on the short end, while people who shoot the same thing over and over and over again and manipulate it until you can't tell it from the original get hundreds of comments...

where's the love?

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1441482/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1441482/ Sun, 23 Nov 2003 14:23:24 PST
curiousity drove me to check the rest of the senior members on my list, and *shock*... there was only one person on the entire list that was here longer than me... dspayre.. (may he continue writing well....)

oh well, this isn't a complaint.. just a strange pondering on my part. how'd they end up being senior members anyways? (don't answer that... i know the answer is ... "don't ask" so don't consider this an asking...

[spunj13] ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1412127/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1412127/ Mon, 17 Nov 2003 00:26:26 PST
------------------

i have been here on dA for a very long time, at least compared to most people... i've seen people banned and i've even seen banned people return under different names, and occasionally the same name. i remember before euphie was an admin, when there were only a few people, and it was a tight-knit community, unlike today.

then, as with all things that grow, things started to really get out of hand. sure, there had been trouble-makers before...but not on this scale. there will always be, however, bottom-dwellers of any community. there is no such thing as perfection. that being said... people also make mistakes.

on to the llamas bit.

1. personally, i hate when people post webcam shots and personal people photos. at least in photography. it annoys me to no end. as a photo major i am offended.. .however, in the back of my mind i am reminded that art is subjective. my favourite photographer, james fee, uses techniques utilizing cheap polaroids and things like that... things that most people probably wouldn't consider art. so that leaves me with this thought... who am i to judge someone else's art? i know i've made a fuss about this sort of thing before... and i suppose if it were to be posted at all, it might as well be posted under stock photography...but to me... photography, as an art form, is something that requires both time and effort and is not something that (a) can be done with a webcam, or (b) can be done instantly...

2. all right, on the forum bit? i can agree with that. i've seen all together too much mudslinging and general mayhem from the forums. whatever happened to the commraderie? just because you disagree with someone doesn't mean you have to act like a 3-year-old. it's like trying to argue with my father... there is no give, not even an agreement to disagree.

3. sure... these "llamas" are confrontational. but sometimes (and i really DO mean this) confrontation is necessary. so i think you're a bad artist.. all right... i may not come right out and tell you that... but i WILL tell you what i think is wrong... there's a thing called constructive criticism that most people have either forgotten or never learned to begin with. as for the love? this sort of news article only pushes the aforementioned "llamas" farther away and into more obnoxious and unnecessary territory.

in conclusion? this should never have been posted. there were much better ways to confront this problem than insulting a large portion of the communities members. the quote from $spyed was good..but the accompanying article was downright insulting.. even to me and i like to think that i've never done any of the things that have been mentioned. a threat of banning... for what? bad art? as i said before.. art is subjective.. i had some of my pieces taken down in a show this weekend because it was deemed "offensive" and yet other pieces that were just as bad were left up... why? simply because of a pervasive mindset of intolerance... we cannot CANNOT let this sort of thing live in dA... it will only kill it.

-------------------

on a side note... i also believe that a few months back $spyed was in the wrong by spamming everyone's page with that matrix/dA history post... don't try and uphold our rules and then break them yourself... that's not what they're there for.

[spunj13] ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1304341/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1304341/ Tue, 21 Oct 2003 00:07:59 PDT
go check out

~ravensashe

he's a photo-major friend of mine and has just started posting (now that his computer can actually get online and such) ... look for good things from him...

[spunj13] ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1108691/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1108691/ Fri, 29 Aug 2003 02:30:59 PDT
i have decided to start a new phase in my newly inaugurated campaign to get people to think. this involves wearing a different slogan everyday. so far i have written up 65 of them, which should take me through the semester. i will not tell you what they are on here, unless it pertains to a certain day. i must admit that some ideas were taken from unamerican.com and there are a few quotes in my selections as well (from people such as JFK and carl sandburg). while this doesn't carry the weight of, maybe, picketing or standing on a roof with a bullhorn...? (that kind of thing would just be ridiculous.) this is more of an underground thing. if there are any other people who would be interested in wearing some of my slogans or possibly giving me ideas for new ones.. go right ahead. i have covered politics, social-situations, education, religion and popular culture in my small notes so far. some of them are tongue-in-cheek, and some of them are dead serious.

to give you an idea of what i'm working with here? today's slogan (the first of the 65) was "unity through conformity." (i'd like to think that it was obviously sarcastic.)

anyways.. you get the idea right?

[spunj13]

please excuse me if this doesn't make sense..but it's 5:15 and yesterday really seems a long time ago right now. ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1102384/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1102384/ Tue, 26 Aug 2003 22:28:08 PDT --------------------------------
the simplest way to put it would be
i got fucked over
as an addendum to that statement, i would also like to add the word "again".
let me start at the beginning, at least of this section of the saga. (as it has been a saga.) camp finished nearly two weeks ago, or at this point, verging on three. upon her return, i contacted her online, and she asked to be left alone for a few days. i obliged and let her have, well, more than a few days... it was two weeks actually before i was told that i needed to call again. which i did. i was told (as i already knew) that we "needed to talk" (one of those statements that is the bane of male existence, as it is NEVER a good thing.)... still, i hung on, hoping that maybe it just sounded bad. i was told that she would come see me the next day, and then... the next. neither of which were followed through on. finally, last night, she got ahold of me, while on campus, and we talked.
how can i put it candidly?... contrary to previous statements, i was told that i was, in fact, a rebound. once again, i was given the dreaded "friend talk." i'd rather not count how many times that has happened. it’s like I have a giant neon sign blinking on my back that reads “play me.” i’ve read in some people’s online journals “girls don’t like the nice guy” and i’m beginning to think that that’s more than just an excuse. someone told me once to “kill the nice guy” (a move which i tried and found less than satisfying. it wasn’t me, essentially)
i'm also beginning to question the validity of fighting for my own individuality. am i losing touch with who i really am? or am i just getting tired of the stares and instant judgement that gets placed on me the moment that people see me? is it just in the "religious" circle that things work this way?... in talking to one of my friends tonight, she mentioned that everyone i've dated has been, for the most part, normal or plain. why don't i go for someone more... out there? is there someone more individual.... out there? i've been inside this cloistered society for so long, i'm beginning to wonder. i mean, i started working outside the "system" sometime this summer, and it's just an expansion of what i already know. everyone is just like someone else, and here i am trying to carve my own nitche in the world. i think that scares people sometimes.... especially within this particular educational system.
i've been such an emotional train-wreck over the last 24 hours that i've cried uncontrollably (something i hardly ever do.) and i've fallen asleep with the thought of slicing open my wrist just to see the blood. (something else i've never thought about before)....
everyone talks about the silver lining to every cloud, but every silver cloud i see has a deadly lining.
--------------------------------
as a side note.. since nobody probably wanted to know, and those of you who read my journals already probably DO know... i am now up to a grand total of 8 piercings, 5 of those being current. i went with Ravensashe last friday and got my nipples redone (no, they are not up for grabbing, at least not yet, and not by certain people... you have to ask first), and he got his lip a day later.
--------------------------------
[spunj13] ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1067872/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1067872/ Thu, 14 Aug 2003 22:34:22 PDT
and i can't even write about it... i keep trying, and the words are stuck..

is the cycle just repeating? or am i to remain hollow, as before...

[spunj13]

(if anyone knows a good way to kickstart poetry again for me... please let me know.. it's been months now since i've written anything that i consider worthy of keeping, or even looking at again) ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1010016/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/1010016/ Wed, 30 Jul 2003 14:34:57 PDT
the return begins...

now

[spunj13] ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/962471/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/962471/ Sat, 19 Jul 2003 11:24:16 PDT what an interesting weekend. death campaign was supposed to come through south bend last night, and i thought'd i'd go take a listen. they were supposed to be on tour with 'the uriah omen' and 'showbread.' not a bad tour, i don't think... i'd liked what i'd heard from both bands. when i arrived at the venue (a cheap bar) there was no-one there. actually... when i left, there was no one there either. apparently something went horribly wrong and not only did death campaign cancel (personal issues between the lead singer and band) but this was not a well advertised show at all. i think i was the only person there to see either of the aforementioned bands (minus the promoter)...

the uriah omen was pretty good, though the lead singer (in addition to not having any stage presence) didn't really take the show seriously and just pretty much goofed off the whole time. what they did play seriously sounded pretty good and had a nice metalcore groove going on. tehy've got potential, just haven't lived up to it yet. (but they will, i think, if the lead singer grows up a bit) they made me feel old... the oldest guy in the band was turning 21 today.

the next band that played was a local last-minute band. personally? i think they sucked. we're talking early 95 era Overcome or N.I.V. and in between songs they cursed up a storm (to the point of annoyance)... not necessary, not that great a band. the guitarist had learned two poses. the crouch and how to move his neck. again, terrible stage presence. the lead singer (a long haired blonde guy) had learned to how do windmills...but that wasn't enough to save his bad writing and overall stage performance.

the third band, which became the headliner, was showbread. they only played for abotu 35-40 mintues (shorter than uriah omen, oddly enough)... but it was spastic enough to please the very few people sitting at the bar, and definetly me. i thought it rather appropriate that one of the guitarists wore an 'international noise consipiracy.' they had a similiarity with the aforementioned band, in that they sounded like a highly spastic version of them. between the groups screamed vocals, the indie-rock guitar work, and organized (somewhat) stage-presence... they definetly had it going for them, despite the lack of attendence. they also had the guts to say something about being christian at the end and being in a band because of a love for God. that impressed me a lot.

after the show, the lead singer asked if they could crash here on the floor. not a problem with me, but an asking of the weasel was necessary. so i called... and woke him up. about 2 hours later we arrived at the apartment and they ... well... are currently crashed out on my living room floor. they head to ohio today to do another show with 'the uriah omen' so at some point they'll be gone.

when they leave, i'm headed off to somewhere out by ann arbor... to take pictures of people doing suspensions. (one of the reasons for going there... along with meeting people on BME.)

now i DARE you too find something more interesting with your weekend.

[spunj13]

]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/918320/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/918320/ Mon, 07 Jul 2003 07:40:16 PDT
sunday: (the first day of indie-generator stages)
-a modern rock band with a female lead singer... i have no idea who they were.
-a guy that sounded like john mayer (and yet was at all the hardcore shows later... weird)
the lead singer of an emo band, set apart, without the band
the honor recital
the gentlemen homicides
autumn war
glenn kaiser (and assorted other people) doing a late night worship service.

monday: (day two of the generator stages)
caught the end of a post-hardcore band, once again.. nameless... (only because we never heard them say it)
death through adam (quite good in my opinion)
cape renewal ... hooray for south bend bands.. they rocked...
devil in the switchblade
in the face of war
mitch mcvicker (totally not my choice)
gs megaphone

tuesday: tooth and nail day
emery
adara
the blamed
bella futuro
still breathing
the death campaign
holland
the agony scene
beloved
dead poetic
watashi wa
mae
anberlin
mewithoutYou
underoath
spoken
kutless

wednesday:
in reverent fear
east west
spoken
7-10 split
off the record
skillet
embodyment
delirious?
demon hunter

thursday:
denison marrs
brandtson
every new day
narcissus
oc supertones
mewithoutYou
zao
further seems forever

friday:
cool hand luke
life or death
calibretto
insyderz
-main stage birthday thing... with relient k, squad 5-0, living sacrifice, etc.
five iron frenzy
blindside
stretch armstrong
prayer chain

saturday:
society's finest
ace troubleshooter
joy electric
the benjamin gate
number one gun
crutch (now called alethian)
pedro the lion
anah aevia
the pits
living sacrifice


and that was my week.. (the normal days.. non-generator days, also had assorted indie bands, but i can't remember them all)

[spunj13] ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/839919/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/839919/ Mon, 16 Jun 2003 07:55:06 PDT built listening to almost*autumn)

went to a show last night in south bend at higher grounds. never been to a real show at a coffee house before.. (not unless you count the eclipse.. but that is set up for concerts... and this wasn't so much.) it was... packed.. i'd say... there was probably about 300-400 people there, though about half stood outside for most of the night. definetly the smallest venue i've ever been to (and that's saying a lot, since i thought that Club Soda was pretty tiny...)

poor conrad
at best, this band was ok. they were a three piece trying for a bit of a post-hardcore feel that just didn't gel right. they had been added at the last minute and had a stage-presence that was, to say the least, lacking. they only played 5 songs, and that was fine with me.

josiah
cape renewal called these guys metalcore, so that's what i'll go with. at first, i thought that they were emo, when the lead guitarist started out the set with a lot of singing. (though they certainly didn't LOOK emo)... then the lead vocalist started in and it was pretty chaotic. a very good set... though a little short for my tastes.

double-d
i took a breather after josiah and when i came back in there was a kid about 17 or so onstage rapping. a little... unexpected, shall we say. it was ... different, i'll give him that... though i think he was trying too hard to be ... john reuben or something.

don't shoot... i'm with God
spastic is the first word that comes to mind when trying to describe this band. i was told that they've broken up and gotten back together several times now (zao anyone?) and that at a previous show the lead vocalist had duct taped his mic into a gas mask for the whole show. he looked really... emo.. i think.. but they definetly weren't. i will now attempt to describe them.

1. take four hardcore (as in music) uber-pentecostals and lock them in a room for 4 months.
2. make them listen to phish, victor wooten, underoath, zao, and ben folds five continuously.
3. give them instruments.
4. take away their medication.
5. pare down instruments to drums, bass, and keys (plus weird sci-fi sounding thing)

presto: don't shoot... i'm with God.

the bassist played somewhere in between ben folds bassist and the bassist from phish. a very talented guy... but different. the lead guy was all over the place and very loud.. and utilized many different pitches of screaming. half the time it looked like he was having an epileptic seizure. (not to make fun of epileptics, as my father is one)... for one of their songs he just passed around the mic and had everyone else sing/scream. it was the most unique band i think i've ever seen.

clark
decent three-piece of emo. think.. pop unknown with a drummer on speed, or earlier jimmy eat world (pre-bleed american...) a non-christian band (one of two that night.. the other being poor conrad) they did get the crowd pretty into it and seemed to have a decent draw. they also had a very good stage presence going on and that helped get the crowd into it.

cape renewal
the nights headliner. i've decided that you really don't want to be the headliner at indie shows. having been there myself i've come to realize that most people have LEFT by the time you get onstage and it really sucks. so... that was the case with cape renewal. there were enough of us to make it a good time though. they played stuph off their new EP (a title which is someone's name whom i can't pronounce... like Jens Nikolai Jorgenson..i think) the lead singer did a lot of talking over instrumental riffs and then screaming/singing in the choruses... at least that seemed like it, though they really did more singing than anything else... it's just unusual to hear so much talking. at one point a guy got a little... TOO into it and ripped some girls skirt (then she got all ... uppity about it... waaaay too much...) and then he accidentally punched another guy in the face and gave him a bloody nose. that guy grabbed the first guy in a headlock and then the lead singer pushed them both out the door... with haste.. he was MAD... anyways.. that concluded and i went home...

end of story.

[spunj13] ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/735110/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/735110/ Sun, 18 May 2003 12:48:41 PDT built listening to cloud2ground)

so last night, on karly's recommendation, i went to the show by myself. and it was definetly worth it. rumours had been that the lead singer of living sacrifice was quitting, but now it turns out that, in fact, the whole band is... well.. disbanding. here was the lineup with minor review.

return to the wonderland ballroom ... (or center as i guess they call it now) only a 3.5 hour drive (craziness) and then an hour wait outside the venue before i could get in. it wasn't too bad though... i'm just not used to driving that far ...

haste the day:

local chicago hardcore band. what i'd read about them said something about "living sacrifice meets atreyu meets norma jean" but i'd have to say that they were more like underoath than any of the previous bands ( with the exception of atreyu... right down to a singing drummer). they only played 4 or 5 songs and went friggin' crazy on stage. i liked it. wish i had enough money for their ep.. .but i didn't. it was either a t-shirt or a cd. and i wanted another bands t-shirt... but that comes later.

spoken:

in the world of Christian music, there are not that many "good" rapcore bands. spoken has so far put out three albums and someone else released a 'best of...' (not sure that they quite deserved that exactly after only three albums... but hey... money making scheme anyone?) it's been awhile since they put out an album and i was beginning to think that this was possibly the end of them. but last night? they tore it up something fierce. the place was starting to get more full by this point and the crowd knew at least some of their songs. during their set a sort of preppy trio showed up and i had a sinking feeling that it was the next band that i'd heard a little bit about. spoken played for a while and the pit started to get going fairly well. it was nice to know that they have signed a deal with Tooth&Nail records and will be releasing a new album in sept. i will be looking forward to that.

house of heroes:

i'm not sure who booked these guys... but one basic thing. they shouldn'tve. pop-punk alternative wanna-be music. they weren't that good. sure, they put a lot into it. but i just couldn't get past the whole weird "we're better than you" vibe. thankfully they only played about 4 songs.

eastwest:

another band that hasn't done anything in while. good for us... they're putting out a new album on june 10. it should be good (if last night was any good indication of what is to come)... they played some new stuph, and some old stuph. but one thing that really pissed me off was one of the guys standing next to me. stupid 14 yr-old hater. at least that's how old he looked... not old enough to shave anyways. he stood there very 'proud' of himself for not liking the band. that kind of soured the set for me.. but i tried to ignore him. they rocked out pretty heavy. even did some speaking at the end about how christianity has become so cliched and all that... its not up to him to 'try to save us' and stuph like that .. it was nice to hear. i'd have to say that they sound a little bit like american head charge live... they also brought on the former lead singer of buck inc. so scream on the last couple songs... (he's frontman for another band called orphan now.. i guess...)

stavesacre:

i've seen these guys now three times since october. they always rock.. but i'd have to say that last night won out as the best of the three sets. mark salomon totally gave everything... they would have to be one of the heaviest non-screaming bands i've ever seen (and i've seen a lot of bands.... 70-80 or so) i guess that this was their last show out this way... well... outside california for the rest of the summer. they said that they were planning on going back home and "starting over" .. four albums into it.... well... hey... someday they'll blow up.. i swear they will... as they were announced: "the greatest kept secret in rock and rolll since 1995... "

living sacrifice:

this was their third to last show.. or fourth, i guess. they are playing in indianapolis with anah aevia and bestiary and bowels of judah and haste the day tonight... then in little rock (their home town ) with demon hunter and who knows who else.. and then at cornerstone.. that's it. hopefully i'll be at cornerstone though... that's the plan. so i'll be at their last show too. this was also the third time i've seen LS. they didn't have rocky gray with them this time (amazing guitarist... but he's drumming with evanesance) they had the second drummers brother on lead instead. he wasn't too bad either... definetly good stage presence. i sat upstairs in the b... ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/712782/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/712782/ Sun, 11 May 2003 22:18:00 PDT built listening to Appleseed Cast - Low Level Owl, Volume I & II)

so anyways... my house has been the hotbed of activity lately. everybody and their ...whoever seems to be living here, or staying here, or whatever. so far, my roommate rick and i are the permanents. then there is sarah and alana. (who are staying in rick's room while he's visiting his parents in maryland.) piper was here until this morning. and his girlfriend (my ex) kelly was here too... and then there are the ones who come and go very frequently. namely jaclyn and shelley and charee. it's been so busy, and i'm such a friggin' obsessive compulsive, i just WANT TO CLEAN this place up. but i can't with everybody's everything around.

school is finally over, and someday i'll get around to scanning my photo final project. personally? there are some shots that i just LOVE. and then there are others that aren't so good. i got a B+ in the class though, and have pretty much decided to do a photo minor. which is cool. i got a friggin' D in poetry though, and the teacher kinda killed my desire to ever write like that again. and the reason i TOOK the class was to inspire me to do better in it, and it did the opposite. i should've known better.... and stuck with taking the stupid flash class. so anyways... i finished my first senior year... and i'll be back again next year to continue. no way in hell i can finish next year either though... i'm starting to feel... old. i guess.

and now (on other topics) i'm beginning to feel like somewhat of a fake. piper went to kelly's house and got 12 ga. plugs for his ears to start expanding, and that drove me to start gauging up now too. i've been debating it since i got my ears done, but haven't done anything about it yet. my 'rents still don't know about my ears (but i AM 22 after all...). so now i've pretty much gone and copied him and gauged up. i've got some heavy-*ss 10 gauge rings in right now.. and will probably pick up some 8 ga. plugs/tubes this week and put some CBR's in there. i've been in such a piercing mood lately. i've rather gotten used to piercing something every 3-4 months i think. (after every semester pretty much.. though i have lost one of the piercings.) now i feel like i need to do something new. i'm thinking possibly going for both nipples after my tattoo. (which i still haven't finished designing.. i'm such a lazy bastard.)

this weekend has been... different. went to the skate park saturday and then to the beach. then had a birthday party for kelly. that was fun.. wrapped a cd in a seat cushion and gave her three birthday cards (it was a group thing) that added up to 20. (5, 7, and 8 year-old cards). but then piper and kelly came back to my place to stay ('cause they left on photo tour at 7:30 this morning) and to pack and for some reason i felt a disturbance in the general ... i don't know how to explain it.. something was wrong... and i had something akin to instant depression... i went out walking in the middle of a driving thunderstorm.. came back soaked to the bone... but at least thunderstorms are, for the most part, a very peaceful thing to me. i don't understand... i don't know what 'caused it at all... it's weird. and to top it off... my car died. my NEW car. (new to me anyways) went to turn it on last night... nothing. can't get lights or auxiliary or anything... so it's just sitting at a friends house until i figure out what's wrong with it. and believe me.... i pretty much know nothing about cars (and don't really care to... it's just not my thing)... so i'm rideless right now too... blah

//spunj13

(p.s. the 'webcam' shot, for those of you who were wondering, is my new band: before.the.fall)
]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/670497/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/670497/ Tue, 29 Apr 2003 02:38:13 PDT boysetsfire - tomorrow come today)

i know, i know... it's been a while since i've been on here. and much has happened since i was last here. Divergence went SUPERBLY. before.the.fall had an excellent debut.. and lots of screaming people (which is a good thing ... ) i think we scared some of the older people though... they were expecting us... which is just fine by me... this campus (a rather conservative christian campus) has never had anything near a hardcore anything before.. so we're stretching the boundries. in other news? i stayed in the darkrooms for 14 hours last thursday 'til friday, and then another 13-14 hours from sunday-monday morning... critique was this afternoon (as well as a final interview with my photo teacher). luckily i passed... with a B+. i missed a project, so i deserved it. i also wil be posting some of my most disturbing photos yet when i get them scanned (possibly this morning, if the lab is still open in the next hour or so)... so be on the lookout for that... it's... different... (once again... pushing boundries) as of now? i've been up since sometime sunday and will not be sleeping until sometime late tonight... but after i crash, i'll be fine. oh yeah... I GOT A CAR (that is good news... now i don't have to walk from my apartment to work everyday... not like last summer)... i'm moving back into the apartment today after my last final and tomorrow... anyways.. i think that's it for now... *yawn*... only 17 more hours to go and i can sleep.

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/600596/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/600596/ Mon, 07 Apr 2003 08:18:25 PDT the beautiful mistake, beloved, dead poetic, mewithoutYou, a static lullaby, in reverent fear)

well.. the plans for the show known as Divergence are finally coming together, now that i pushed it back by a week.

so far the line-up is:

Enthroned in Splendor
before.the.fall
The Lemons
garageVoice
[hindsight]


in that order... it's taken some time to really get it all together right though... it was all planned for the 13th and then all of a sudden there were scheduling conflicts with half the bands... but we/i switched it to the 20th and it seems to be working now.

before.the.fall tried out a new bassist yesterday.. her name is tracy, and even though she hasn't played much bass... she was picking up really fast... and she's good eye-candy. plus.. how many heavy bands have girls in them anyways.. i can only think of Otep and Coal Chamber off the top of my head.. oh yeah... and Still Breathing (now that's some heavy stuph) unfortunately, i think that the drummer from [hindsight] is just about hooked up with her. i told him he was an idiot for trying to hook up with this girl when he's moving to tennessee next semester for school... but hey... i guess it's his choice. of course, that means that we in [hindsight] have to find a new drummer now... which sucks.. it's breaking the original 2.5 year line-up...that's why we're having this big Divergence show... hopefully the resident 'artist' friend of mine will finish with the drawings for the posters i'm making... one is a picture of a man splitting into two.. and the other is a crowd walking away from you with one man walking towards you...

one more thing... we have 2-3 inches of snow on the ground... its michigan and it's the second week of april! what the FRELL?

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/586265/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/586265/ Wed, 02 Apr 2003 01:13:16 PST built listening to from autumn to ashes, sinai beach, in reverent fear, a static lullaby)

-- this is a reprint of a former journal entry, ironically enough, made exactly one year ago... though some informatio at the end has been changed, or updated.--



i have a confession to make...

look up at the left hand corner of your screen...you see right under where it says spunj13? it says George Spencer...well...that's not my name....in fact ... it is a penname i've been using since high school (and am planning on continuing to use) i made up a whole persona for him actually... hold on...it's in my files somewhere *searches*
---------------------------------------- ------------------------------
George U. (for Ulysses) Spencer III hails from the Columbus Ohio (from an imaginary town called robinston) area. He holds degrees from both Berklee School of Music and New England Conservatory. He currently lives, writes, composes, and creates in Robinston Ohio. Look for upcoming briefs on his first novel, "Army Of Rebels."
---------------------------------------- ------------------------------
let me see...i had more info than that...*searches again*..here we go...
---------------------------------------- ------------------------------
George U. (for Ulysses) Spencer. George was born on September 25, 1975 in Columbus Ohio.

He started out as a child and is trying to maintain that now in his adult life.

George currently lives in Robinston Ohio which is just outside Columbus. He holds degrees from both Berklee School of Music and New England Conservatory. He is currently working on his first full length novel entitled "Army of Rebels." He is also working on plots for a book about the Civil War and a play called Lost which is in the Shakespearian form of playwriting.

George has many interests. He loves Greek mythology and studying why people think the way they do. His favorite time period in history is the Civil War. He also loves reading biographical novels. The other mainstay in his life is music. His goals are to finish both of his novels and his play in the next four years, but even more important than getting them finished is getting them published.
---------------------------------------- ------------------------------

oh well...there goes the mystery..now you all know my name isn't george...and i'm definetly not 26...i am, in fact only 21....

there is a lot of truth to the biography though. i am working on my first novel and well as the ideas for a second. though i dropped the idea for a shakespearian play. too much work. .i am currently working on putting the pieces together for my first book of poetry (would you buy one?) and music really is a mainstay in my life (the one constant i seem to have) ...so far i've got one cd and an EP recorded...a demo with a band, started another new band in another style, working on digital electronic music, and the ideas for a second solo album. (busy for being in college, i guess)...anyways...

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/569209/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/569209/ Wed, 26 Mar 2003 09:38:35 PST built listening to cave-in, between the buried and me, spitfire)

well...i have a new 'favourite' website.. radiotakeover... i likes it a lot. high-definition streaming hardcore-indie-emo stuph. even added a new link to my personal site... so i just go there when i'm working and *poof*...noise galore. (hey..if it's music to my ears that's all that matters ...right?)

before.the.fall is doing quite well. practice went very well yesterday, and we should be auditioning a new bassist (get me off the four-strings and just on vocals.) either this week or next and we also will be probably adding our resident bagpipes player/death metal-type vocalist. (it should be interesting... two tenors-melodic and two people totally screaming their lungs out... i would be both a screamer and tenor... but then...i AM the lead guy anyways...) if all goes as planned we will be playing our debut show in two weeks... just as an opener...but hey... that's where every band should start...right?

uhm... spring break just ended.. so it's back to normal work hours and much time spent doing homework...there's only like... a month left of school...which, in some ways... really sucks, and in other ways.. it's good. it sucks because i need more time for final projects. much more time. it's good because ... well...it's the summer and i should be heading to austin texas for my internship... HM magazine.. i'll be living music for 2-3 months this summer... and i'll get to go to a lot more concerts and see a lot more bands than i've ever seen before...which i'm definetly ok with. *nods*

anyways.. i've got to get back to work again

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/546089/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/546089/ Sun, 16 Mar 2003 04:35:01 PST built listening to flickerstick, taking back sunday, denison marrs, and atticus fault)

what a week. around tuesday or maybe wednesday i started sleeping fairly regularly again. and then i was out of class for spring break. i sure hope this is a break.... i really need it. i need time to write and to work ('cause i need the money) lately the lyrics have just been flowing very naturally, though i couldn't explain why exactly. but it's a good thing. band #2 (finally with a full name... that is accepted by everybody involved... ) is going superbly, if that is an apt word, i suppose. the first hour of practice last sunday sucked...but then it picked up and just totally took off.... i think we're ready to play some shows now (anybody got anyplace they want us to play? we're emotional hardcore indie stuph... basically... like thrice or newer AFI or something... ) as for last weekend (if you've read my last journal) kelly's gone to peru for a biology trip, piper and greg both went home...and i'm here...in my dorm room...still up at 7:30 in the morning... *shrugs*...whatever....

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/534478/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/534478/ Sun, 09 Mar 2003 22:33:09 PST
you want the story? probably not... but i feel the need to get it out... so you're stuck with it anyways.

around 11 o'clock friday night i was headed back to my dorm room with my friend piper... my other friends greg and kelly were in another car following us. along a straight stretch on the campus we decided to race, greg took the lead and started to pull around piper. piper just slowed down to about 20. greg was still going about 55 when he hit the corner in the left-hand lane. he had just started to downshift when the car started to slide and he crossed the right lane, hit the curb and was launched into the air. the rear right-hand section of the car slammed into a telephone pole and spun the car around... then it rolled. both the passengers were ejected from the passengers side door. it was only a 5 second incident, but i will never forget it as long as i live. everytime i close my eyes, i see it again. piper and i fumbled with our seatbelts and ran out towards greg's mangled car. greg was in the road ahead of the car, laying there... he had begun to stand by the time i got to him... he had some massive gashes in his head and blood was running down his face. half of his shirt had been pretty much torn off as well. but we didn't see kelly. i don't know who screamed...if it was me.. or greg. "where's kelly?" finally piper found her curled up in a fetal position right next to the telephone pole (which had broken off about 15 feet up the pole, leaving live wires on the sidewalk)... she was alive..and conscious...but she didn't know anything about what happened. finally the cops arrived and the ambulance arrived and they took them away to the hospital. we grouped several friends together and got to the hospital around 12:30 or so and stayed until 5:30. greg was still in the emergency room with 5 stitches in his head and most of his upper-body right side bandaged up. kelly had only bruises, but had some pretty serious amnesia. she couldn't remember anything about the last week and even some assorted things from the last year. every five minutes or less the cycle would start again. she couldn't remember from one moment to the next. she asked the same questions over and over. we went back to the hospital around noon or something on saturday. her parents had flown in from pittsburg and were with her. her memory was working then and she remembered up to most of friday, though i pray she'll never remember the whole thing. i wish to God that i didn't. she was released from the hospital around 3 and we all hung out for several hours last night. everything seemed to be going well, and then she spontaneously broke down tonight... crying uncontrollably for a while, then finally just shaking. i found myself shaking too and i know that piper was as well. greg couldn't take it and left. we don't know how he is emotionally or mentally right now. maybe he'll just shake it off...maybe not. piper and i have had the same problem. we can't eat... we can't sleep. he hasn't at all, and when i have it's been troubled and disjointed. and i'm questioning my existence seriously lately. one of my other friends, heather, a very religious girl, has cursed God twice since this weekend. nothing is as it seems. stability is temporary. i don't know what to do. i can't sleep tonight. and all i see is the same images over and over again. repeating, repeating. dear God... make this cycle stop. make the pain fade.

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/524338/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/524338/ Mon, 03 Mar 2003 21:04:21 PST
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent:High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

--

Click Here To Take The Test

am i really this bad?

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/481886/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/481886/ Thu, 06 Feb 2003 23:35:05 PST



if you hadn't guessed yet... i'm here wishing myself a happy 2 year deviant birthday... so without further ado..

HAPPY (deviant) BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

anyways... when i started here.. wow.. that was a while ago... there weren't very many poets for one thing... jsenn was still the only poetry admin, and dmusic was on the main page (does anybody else remember that?) it was still dA v.1 (now we're up to what... 3 or 4?)

there was also no such thing as membership... people like weze where the forum whores and i was just a fly on the wall, until i (a mere 19 at the time, and very immature as i have realized since then) discovered how exactly the watch list worked...along with commenting (ahh...GIVING comments GETS comments... took a while for that to sink in...) a lot has changed since then... though i won't go into particulars.

oh well... as for my life right now.. my new band seems to be taking off (we are called SundayAfter) .. emotional hardcore, and i are the singer (i are? what kind of bad english is that?) right now i'm sitting at work (yes... work... 10pm to 6 am... every thursday night.. working nights is odd...but it works when i can sleep during the day...)

in a couple days i should have some new photography to put up... (from my advanced photo class... i just got back my shadows assignment... and i just turned in motion... the results were... different.)

i'm also getting paid now for my reviews in the University paper (i write cd reviews... this week? Juliana Theory.. next week? i have no idea... any good suggestions of recent Christian indie releases? like..hardcore, emo, punk, rap, i don't care... just not mainstream

i think that's all i've got to say for now.. i'm still trying to catch up with my watch list... but it looks like a very long operation... and i still have to work on my 11x17 movie poster for advanced-digital imaging...plus find time to both shoot and develop and process some 4x5 black and white pics of architecture... i know what i want to shoot...but i'm not sure when... or anything... so comments come when i have a chance... also look for some new upcoming prose from me... its bubbling just below the surface.. i think... maybe... it's a great possibility at least...

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/458930/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/458930/ Fri, 24 Jan 2003 21:08:36 PST
i've finally decided that no matter what somebody else says... i'm still in love with my ex. and i shouldn't be. it's like trying to fly through a window pane or something... if you do it... all you'll get is hurt (again). i'm afraid to get emotionally attatched to anyone anymore, i think. or so it seems at this point. i don't know what i'm doing. i'm a contradiction. i WANT to love, i WANT to be loved... i WANT, but i cannot DO because i'm too scared. *sigh*.. what the hell am i supposed to do?

i keep skipping flash (because the teacher is terrible) and it's still snowing here. which would be all right, except we STILL didn't cancel school today, which i really needed. i have too much to do and i'm emotionally drained right now.

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/418644/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/418644/ Tue, 31 Dec 2002 19:40:12 PST




alone















and lonely









(someone please break this cycle)

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/414308/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/414308/ Sun, 29 Dec 2002 11:00:42 PST currently listening to "another day to start again" by "30 seconds to mars"

hmm...christmas vacation.. and i've yet to hit the studio, but tomorrow, that's when i go in. 4 days of recording... and i get to play everything (and hopefully my brother will play producer, as i hate to push the buttons, i just want to write and play the instruments.)

i'll be recording "1 am", "the downfall of sharon and steve", "have we done this to You?", "sometimes i dream", "in confusion", and redoing "believe", plus who knows what else... i may come up with some more ideas while i'm there... who knows.

i finished reading kerouac, burroughs, ginsberg and charles baxter. i've decided that i liked baxter (at least) post-modern fiction is good. ginsberg is plastic and looking for attention: a big faker... and full of crap. burroughs is so abstract that his novel (the one i read anyways) so much resembled stream-of-consciousness that it is nearly impossible to follow... like a bad sermon or something. and kerouac (the collection of short stories) was pretty much crap, though there were ok moments. he was the most palatable of the three.

thank you to everyone who has commented on my newer pieces... i will getting back to commenting in just about a week...then i'll catch up on everybody when i have a connection that can handle it.

i'm so looking forward to next semester.. completely artistic... and now i've got almost all the photo equipment that i need.. (almost... christmas money buys the rest)... got a tripod for christmas... that was cool... i'll definetly use it.

anyways... i should go now...since i got all kinds of things to do...and i need to wash the smell of smoke out of my skin from playing pool for several hours last night...

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/396014/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/396014/ Tue, 17 Dec 2002 10:07:40 PST
anyways.. here i sit on a dialup (sorry...not very many comments will be made over this time.. as i can't handle over 200 of them on dialup)... i'm at "home" (though technically i don't live here anymore)

i thought that it'd be a nice peaceful vacation? but what did i have to do? decide to STUDY.. of ALL THINGS...what the heck is wrong with my brain? there must be something... anyways... here's my reading list...then you can try and figure out what i'm studying

Atop an Underwood by Jack Kerouac
Problems and other stories by John Updike
Collected Poems 1947-1980 by Allen Ginsberg
The Collected Poems: Volume I William Carlos Williams
The Feast Of Love by Charles Baxter
The Western Lands by William S. Burroughs
Party at Jack's by Thomas Wolfe
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
Poems of... by William Blake
New British Poets edited by Kenneth Rexroth
and
A Coney Island of the Mind by Lawrence Ferlinghetti

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/386627/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/386627/ Wed, 11 Dec 2002 05:44:01 PST know i'm going home...just when i don't know...) on friday... i've got a Director critique this afternoon and a programming final tomorrow and then i'm done 'til next semester

next semester will be better...

Flash (which i already taught myself)
Advanced Photoshop (took it once..4 years ago)
Advanced Photography ('cause it's fun)
Creative Writing oetry ('cause i wanted to)

that's 15 credits right there...which works for me just fine. i'll just be pretty much living art...which is also ok with me... now if only this semester would've ended sooner...

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/362149/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/362149/ Mon, 25 Nov 2002 22:36:37 PST is in a mood for school?"

well...it's like this.. i've been in college now for 3.5 years (this is my ...umm..first senior year) and i am just realizing that i don't care about graduating...ever... i'm not here for the classes...i'm not here for the frelling degree... i'm here because of the people and the relationships that i am building while i am here... it's what i put the most stock in... you know? and it hit me really hard this year (while trying to create my own major) that i'm working so deathly hard on my damn back-up plan!...

i mean.. what do i want in life really? i want to be in a band...i want to be on tour...i want to rock... i want to move people to tears through music... to make them dance..think...see... and what am i doing? rotting away in college spending so much money on a degree (web design) that my college doesn't even offer... what am i thinking? i could've spent all that money on a home recording studio..but then where would i be without the relationships? i wouldn't be who i am now without them... see what i mean? it's like a real catch-22... so now i'm set to leave school next year...after my magazine internship this summer (HM - hard music in austin texas)...and who knows where i will be led after that? i have no idea.. maybe the band will go somewhere...maybe my solo projects will finally pan out.. maybe i'll learn how to do booking.. i don't know.. something has to work...because i know deep in my heart..i'm a musician.. a writer... not a graphics person..sure ...an artist..but not something i can make a living at... *sigh*

i'm drowning
with no land in sight
no reasons
to continue to fight
and the water rises
and the pain sets in
no vision of tomorrow
and i don't know where to begin

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/356028/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/356028/ Thu, 21 Nov 2002 23:22:31 PST
(when i turned and walked away)

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/333543/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/333543/ Wed, 06 Nov 2002 08:41:39 PST

(again)

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/312569/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/312569/ Mon, 21 Oct 2002 09:50:09 PDT
week 1:
drift (ohio modern rock)
kutless (tooth and nail, nu-metal)

week 2:
CR33 (chicago rapcore)
echocast (heavy rock, XS records)
underoath (melodic death metal? or something...solid state records)
embodyment (heavy nu-metal/rock whatever, XS records)
stavesacre (more heavy rock, XS records)
living sacrifice (technical metal, solid state records)

week 3:
sinch (strange electronic modern rock/numetal, roadrunner records)
chevelle (chicago hard rock, epic records)
stone sour (nu-metal, not impressed, roadrunner records)

week 4:
greenwheel (modern rock, island records)
blindside (melodic hardcore, 3 points/elektra records)
hoobastank (modern rock, label unknown)

week 5 (next weekend)
garage voice (acoustic/emo)
the lemons (pop-rock)
hindsight (modern rock/grunge)

all told? week 2 was definetly the best.... followed by week 4, then 1, then 3. week 4 was probably the softest concert i've been to in a while...

course, next weekend will be fun...i get to play again (hindsight)...

and on the horizon of my concerts?
skillet, five iron frenzy, the huntingtons, 38th parallel, squad 5-0, ace troubleshooter... and who knows what else...

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/298864/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/298864/ Wed, 09 Oct 2002 18:47:45 PDT
and it was



dun
     dun
       &a mp;nbsp;   duh....


..


...

busy

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/291282/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/291282/ Thu, 03 Oct 2002 08:29:05 PDT
so i rushed to my dA page to check...instead...it was my ancient Nirvana wall. it's old enough that i had forgotten about it. oh well *shrugs* ...thats ok...it kinda sucked anyways...i'm just amused that it was so long ago and NOW it got caught...if I didn't remember it then well...i guess it needed to go anyways... i made the wall before the policy was ever even in place (another amusing point...shows you i've been around here too long)...had the thought ever crossed my mind then i would've taken it down...

anyways..i should paruse the rest of my gallery and make sure there aren't any others...

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/290735/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/290735/ Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:35:10 PDT
well...i'm back...yes...you heard right..i'm actually commenting...and deviating...AND i found a friend....

well....all right...it's one of my roommates from my freshmen year (of college, of course)

so if he deviates...then cool...check him out (i think he'll be writing...even though he IS taking digital classes...as in imaging classes)

jude-pudnap

that's him

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13 http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/260522/ http://spunj13.deviantart.com/journal/260522/ Thu, 05 Sep 2002 18:01:33 PDT
none?

well... here ...it's like this

[insert fade out to memory]

i was starting to catch up on comments while i was at home...right? i had my list down below 400 and things were going well....then i returned to both school and work. well...that rather killed my momentum rather well. i was working nearly 20 hours a day (yes... i really was) until school started...and then i just kinda lost it after that... not to mention the fact that i haven't written in several weeks now...i'm not even sure what happened with that... all of a sudden i wasn't inspired to write anything....

*sigh*

well... here's my attempt to get back to it

//spunj13 ]]> `spunj13