http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:ssendas&section=today deviantART RSS for by:ssendas en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 18:43:04 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://ssendas.deviantart.com/journal/13124868/ http://ssendas.deviantart.com/journal/13124868/ Mon, 28 May 2007 11:57:40 PDT
I failed... myself.

I couldn't face it on time. Now i pay the price.

Again.

Let's start from beggining:

-----

I never liked m/m stuff , i knew it since i saw all this whole "furry" world.

Girls, boobs,vaginas that was the thing which was most important for me in the 'art'.

All those were toon related.


"You can't spell yaoi without 'yowwie!'."

When i registered at DA .I met some pals who registered too , one of them drew a single nude male pic
i joked at him , yes, i don't deny it, for few days ,

when i just wanted to stop it he -WHAM- did something i'd never do to him.

He drew my character in a situation i dont approve at all...

i could stand blackmail with that pic. I just felt humilliated in the public. There is a difference between a fight in a school bench and dragging your pants down in front of the whole class. At least that's what i think.


Nowadays no one cares what i was GOING TO do , those 3 years ago.

and then i became hater of all the 'yaoi' stuffs.


To prevent it happen again i left DA and broke contact with him , everyone understood me.
At least i thought so.


Second reasoni left it was because i felt like being 'bound' cause of "no adult art" restriction ,and then as i recall , yahoo started it's crusade.I lost my favorite place - XCleo yahoo group and the rest of my favorite groups .

I promised myself not to create another one, because yahoo still is wanky for it. Also lost old email accounts.

"Good things last short , bad things..."

Next step: Sheezyart.The site was cool at the beginning , nice , untill... they had to move and placed "no adult art" restriction.

When i look at this site now, i understand them wholeheartly... they didn't wanted to become the site i will mention later.


So i choosed to quit.


In the meantime my dad got a weird habit.Keeps saying me to "stop chatting with fags from america" I keep telling him i dont do that, but he dont listen,Also i am very... shy of my works.So i couldnt show anyone from family what i really draw.Even the clean works... it's childish for them.

He kept saying this shit all time.I wanted to punch him for it, but i am not a brave type.
No , he is no authority to me , he's an alcoholic in deny.


"Dreams usually come true , just not when and how we expect it" - Maria Dabrowska


Next step:Fur affinity. Yes! At last! A place for all kinds of art..

ALL KINDS

I joined , browsed browsed , the more i browse the more... well... "disgusted" i felt, especially listening to dad's words >_> so all what i could was direct my anger at someone else... Infortunately i choosed Inuki.

That was very stupid and now i'm ashamed of that , she did art for me!I should be thankful her and do soemthing in return , not attack her for 'shota-like' drawings!

FA to my surprise went down.Things were calm in the meantime i had no idea what happening to other artists really, only knew some joined palcomix and that's all.

i lost contact with one of my best online buddies....
-
kandlin_beta: I'll talk to you later. Good luck hooking up with Lady K or Drex.
ssendas2: thx
ssendas2: cya
kandlin_beta: later.
Session Close (kandlin_beta): Sun Feb 13 14:32:47 2005


Session Start (ssendas2:kandlin_beta): Sun Feb 13 18:48:09 2005
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ssendas2: online?
Session Close (kandlin_beta): Sun Feb 13 18:59:16 2005


Session Start (ssendas03:kandlin_beta): Thu Feb 17 20:36:14 2005
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ssendas03: hey
Session Close (kandlin_beta): Thu Feb 17 20:36:52 2005


Session Start (ssendas03:kandlin_beta): Thu Feb 17 22:17:01 2005
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ssendas03: hey dude
ssendas03: sigh
Session Close (kandlin_beta): Thu Feb 17 22:23:55 2005


Session Start (ssendas03:kandlin_beta): Wed Feb 23 17:46:43 2005
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ssendas03: dude
Session Close (kandlin_beta): Wed Feb 23 17:47:06 2005


Session Start (ssendas03:kandlin_beta): Fri Feb 25 22:32:04 2005
*** NOTE: This user is offline. Your messages will be received when he/she logs into Yahoo! M... ]]> ~ssendas http://ssendas.deviantart.com/journal/12776124/ http://ssendas.deviantart.com/journal/12776124/ Sun, 29 Apr 2007 08:43:55 PDT
It's almost the time to face it.

]]> ~ssendas http://ssendas.deviantart.com/journal/8918599/ http://ssendas.deviantart.com/journal/8918599/ Tue, 30 May 2006 06:40:24 PDT ~ssendas