http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:stolen-dream&section=today deviantART RSS for by:stolen-dream en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 10:12:30 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/26586211/ http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/26586211/ Fri, 14 Aug 2009 09:25:15 PDT Four Months of not knowing what to do with myself, my art has gone out the window and I'm not sure how I feel anymore.
I'm grounded and trying to get my artsy flow back. I've been doodling dogs lately, my love for animals hasn't slipped up yet.
I have a job and maybe that's why the stress has finally gotten to me.
I work at a Sonic in New Jersey and I'm a carhop, seems like it wouldn't be stressful right? SO WRONG. It's probably the most stressful thing I've ever done, but being on skates brings me back to when I was younger. It's a homelike feeling.
I'm going to try and get some art up. I really honestly am. I miss being here. I feel like I left my family.
I love you guys.
Sorry this is so short...

Find me on twitter: Brittabutter
On Myspace: /stolen_dream

]]> ~stolen-dream http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/24099211/ http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/24099211/ Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:00:15 PDT
wow, its been forever hasn't it? I apologize for being so distant from the internet all together lately.
I guess I should update on my life right now, does that seem right?

January: the 24th to be exact my boyfriend of 9 months breaks up with me for no apparent reason other then the fact that I've been grounded since winter break. our nine month annie I had chilled with a friend and I guess I was out and about too much to his liking. so screw him. He was an abusive dick-wad anyway. I was tired of his mental abuse but I couldn't bring myself to break up because I actually TRY to make relationships work.
The next day I was skiing with my step-dad and grand-mom and having the time of my life without him.
February: Finally off grounding and I couldn't figure out what to do with myself. the first day off I went from the edge of my town and three towns over in a long board, confused as ever and growing hungrier with each passing second I went to my friends house just because I couldn't stand the thought of going back home. he picked me up in his van with a friend of his from college and I fell for his friend. bad move on my part because my friend (panda) had a thing for me. I couldn't tell him how I felt about his friend. His friend later came to my house picked me up and we drove to wawa and I never told my parents I left. I was rushed full of adrenalin. It seems stupid to be excited about a car ride a mile away, but I was running with someone I had just met earlier and it was 9 at night. big steps for me. big steps. that night I kissed him and felt wrong in everyway.
Next week's saturday night/morning; I couldn't sleep a wink that night (it was a Saturday night) I was up until 3 in the morning thinking about that day and how I couldn't control myself anymore. This freedom was too much for my body to contain and not explode on contact. I woke up and jumped in the shower for about 5 minutes, a quick shower to wash the guilt away. I didn't eat breakfast, I had a sip of water and I was racing out the door in seconds. I hated myself. every part of myself I hated and I couldn't contain it anymore. I was going to kill myself. I rode my long board texting Panda and telling him I was running away and that I would miss him. I hit a park bench two miles from my house. I was running on 4 hours of sleep, and empty stomach and one sip of water. My body ached to a grinding stop and tears flooded my eyes I was outside my other crushes house, Hoe (its a nickname), and I wanted to talk to him. but red-faced and crying wasn't the right way to say hello. I was an emotional wreck, Panda called me and demanded that I stay calm. he sang me a song, played me guitar and piano. I calmed down but the tears wouldn't stop at all. he had to get to his next class and he said it would be about 45 minutes before he could talk to me. I was willing to wait for his comfort once again. Minutes after another one of my friends, Zach, rode by me on his bike. he stopped and wouldn't let me go for a good while. He held me close and told me I was going to be fine. told me not to worry and that he would be there if I needed him and that he was going to be right up the street. I nodded still crying into his shoulder. He left and so did I; I rode to the school which was only a block or so away. I texted a new friend I had just made, Nick, we were in the same math class and I just started becoming friends with him. We knew each other maybe a week but I felt like I needed to talk to him. I asked what he was up to through tears and he said he was making cookies and asked if I wanted to make some with him and I agreed. He picked me up and I held back tears. We went inside and I felt right at home. his last batch of cookies didn't go so well. and we smiled as we made the newer batch he gave me tons of hugs and I gave him the same amount. After making cookies and realizing we forgot to put baking soda in them, not going to lie they were pretty good still, we played a game of ping-pong and pool. I was still confused, I liked Hoe at this point but I was developing stronger feelings for Nick at the same time.
Week or so later: Hoe has stopped talking to me and I was caving into my feelings for Nick, I take him bowling with me and my dad and that night he stayed at my house for a while. I wanted to kiss him. I held our hug for longer then usual and he piped out "kiss...?" and I kissed him. he blushed and tucked me into my couch, I had been sleeping there ever since he started coming over to my house and he gave me another kiss.
2.28.09: After having serious thoughts about Nick I tell him how I feel about him and at the same time ask him out. it was a fun night of watching Mirrors on demand.

March: I have my first track meet on the 19th and throw the jav 60'11, not too bad for a beginner is what my coach told me. I can't really remember other things. Me and Nick rode from my house t... ]]> ~stolen-dream http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/22744561/ http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/22744561/ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:48:31 PST I have them till the 28th. I guess I'll live though. they're not as bad as I thought they would be.
I don't have a lot going on in my life, I'm finding inspiration in two bands, Brand New and Imogen Heap. they're probably my favorite bands lately.

]]> ~stolen-dream http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/21892603/ http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/21892603/ Tue, 09 Dec 2008 03:40:53 PST
I won't spoil the surprise so here we go;
so I wake up and I'm like Urg I gotta pee, so I run into the bathroom and I'm like, crap its probably time to get in the shower. so I get in the shower and I'm washing my hair and all and suddenly while I'm doing my conditioner I freak out and realize my step-dad needs to get in the shower too. so I rush my hair and dry off and grab the brush, you know, after shower stuff.
So I'm in my room brushing my hair and I look over at my clock.
its midnight.
so I just wrapped my hair up and went back to bed.
this is how silly/stupid I am

urh. not a lot more to talk about. having weird dreams lately that never seem to make sense. I'd explain them but I don't think you could get the image in your head XD its from places around my house/my aunts house.



]]> ~stolen-dream http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/21799916/ http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/21799916/ Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:33:46 PST I went through my journals and deleted a lot except recent ones and ones that mean a lot to me.
to update my current living arrangement;
my brothers back from Alabama, not surprised, the boys always in trouble and needs our help xD lazy thing.
my art style is changing a lot lately, I think its for the better
been talking to my mom more lately too, we're getting closer I love the feeling.
I'm doing better in school and getting my work in on time and the whole nine yards, I'm hoping I do better this marking period then the last one. I don't have gym, I get drivers ed its so easy.

urg...
I have another new outlook on life; I'm thinking more positively and trying to be a better person in general. I do love my life and sometimes I don't show it good enough so I'm trying better to do that.
Trying to show my support for my boy when he goes to football there's a game Saturday! I'm hoping we win *cheers*

I guess thats all for now I ususally have more to write ._.

]]> ~stolen-dream http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/21455862/ http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/21455862/ Wed, 12 Nov 2008 15:00:29 PST
I have a swollen salivary gland. my left one, and the left side of my mouth/tongue is swollen. i can hardly talk and it hurts to talk, swallow, or even open my mouth. what a great week after my birthday D:
*cries*
OH OH! might I add that the medicine the doctor gave me I was allergic to so I got hives... So I had to go back to to the doctors to get another appointment. then he was like O YA YOU GOT HIVES. My doc makes me crack up but then I heard them (nurse and doc) talking about a shot and I wanted to tun out as fast as I could. I hate shots so much... anyway she brings in the needle and I don't even look but my mom was freaking out like OMG YOU SHOULD SEE THAT NEEDLE! ._. it was the first needle to hurt. but after she was done I looked at the needle it had to be at least 3 inches long x.x
it still hurts a little but my hives went away
but I'm on a new medicine and hopefully I'll be in school tomorrow

]]> ~stolen-dream http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/17552627/ http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/17552627/ Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:23:35 PDT lately I've been trying to calm down my life, I keep getting this constant build up of friends wanting to hang out with me and I really have no time to myself, which might seem weird considering I have time to play with things in photoshop. I usually do that from 10-2 in the morning. x.x I need more sleep...
I'm on spring break and my life is more hectic than ever.
my brother has as of I think the Sunday before last, has been in jail one year, he calls me a lot and I get song lyrics for him. which makes me feel like I actually can do something to make his time better. I haven't seen him but I've seen pictures of him and he looks so much better than before, he has color, weight and he's smiling. he sent me a letter. his hand writing reminds me of a 5 year old. but none-the-less it was heart warming and made me cry.
my sister is having a tiff with her husband(soon to be ex after she files the divorce papers) and she's moved back in with us with my nephew David. he's the most adorable thing I think I've ever seen. I get to watch him every day until my mom comes back from work with Sam(sister) and he is the most happy three year old I've ever met though he looks like he could be five.
my grades are actually doing better. the grades that were the lowest have come up a lot so my mom and step dad are being less hard on me which is making me less stressful, which is good because I'm not good under pressure and stress.
My father and I hang out every Tuesday after school( if there is school) and we go out to dinner then drive around to a Wawa to laugh at the people who come into the store, they're hilarious. My dad always knows how to make a crappy day better for me.
Every Thursday Leah, Kate and I go rollerskating at Youngs Skate Center. if you live in Mays Landing you should come too. we always have loads of fun dancing and scaring the little kinds by holding hands and making an arch over them. Kate and Leah are probably two people that I can be my full self with. you know how people will say "oh I don't care what anyone thinks of me" I'm like that. but I realized that I'm really not, I'll fake who I am in public to make people think I'm "normal" but with Kate and Leah I'm not afraid to.

ART STATUS!
Requests: Surely!
Trades: always! just ask!
Collabs: anyone?
Gifts: working on a few

]]> ~stolen-dream http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/12931490/ http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/12931490/ Sat, 12 May 2007 15:58:25 PDT 100 theme challengeeee
Stampss
Christmas List
My New Friend
Things To Know about Stolen-Dream
What A Crappy Spring Break 4/07
.4.21.07.
----------> Start News:

I finally got to see my brother today, after what, 2 months? and let me tell you; this boy looks the better that I've ever seen him. He isn't a creepy gray color, he actually has somewhat of a complexion. He's bulked up a lot. he's gained at least 60 pounds.
so me and my mom drive to the thing, I can't remember what its called, and we stand in a line from 8:30ish to 11:00ish, then during this time, a woman gets arrested. Reason unknown, but when you go there, you have to give them yoru social security number, and they search you up and if you have a warrant, they arrest you, right on the spot.

ANYWAY.

We get into the booth thingy, and we wait for another like 30 minutes, then he walks over towards us, and believe me, I didn't recognise him at first. He looked the happiest I had ever seen him in my life. He couldn't stop smiling. It made me feel warm inside. I got to talk to him first, he asked me how I was doing and how school was. then I gave mom the little phone thingy.

they talked for a while, then we had to go, because our time was up. but I got to talk to him again, he asked me if I was going to come and see him next weekend and I said "Of course!" He told me to be good, then he told me he loved me and blew me a kiss. I said that I loved him and blew a kiss back. let me tell you, I almost started crying right there. but I didn't. I was going to stay strong, just for him.

I'm so glad I got to see him. I missed him so much.
and I'm glad he looks as happy as he does.

Much love to all my watchers

~~
<sub>MY LOVES:
http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/12722311/ Tue, 24 Apr 2007 18:58:46 PDT 100 theme challengeeee
Stampss
Christmas List
My New Friend
Things To Know about Stolen-Dream
What A Crappy Spring Break 4/07

----------> Start News:

I'm going to cut straight to the problem I've been having. If you get confused, ask me:

This Weekend a 20 year old told me he though I was cute, then proceded to txt me and ask me to kiss him, I told him it would be my first time, and he asked me if he could teach me.... I was REALLY weirded out, but I told noone.

Chris, Rissa, Tony (that's his name) and I are watching Dumb and Dumber (Lame I know.)

We're in the camper after the wedding. Amanda nad Charlie are already in the camper they're sharing with Tony.

Rissa falls asleep, so Chris wakes her up and leaves me and Tony in the camper alone.

My Head aches, he asks me to kiss him a lot more times.

I ask him to leave. he walks out the camper door, I lock it right away.

I pop in a George Carlin video...vcr thing....And Drift asleep, weirded out.

Next day I wake up, thanks to Rissa, and Have a cup of hot chocolate...still weirded out and Keeping my mouth shut about it.

Rissa pops in Dumb and Dumber again, she missed alot of the movie. Chris wakes up, we eat somewhat of a breakfast.

Breakfast menu:
Britney= Cereal + waffle bites + Chocolate milk + Hot Chocolate.
Rissa= Waffle bites + Chocolate milk + Hot chocolate.
Chris= Cereal + Soda.

Chris leaves camper.

Comes back with Tony noth of them are equipt with water guns. They spray out cellphones partially. I get ready to kick ome major booty with my water guns.

I have a mist gun. not a water gun.

I run back unto the house after we picked teams.

TEAMS:
Team A= Britney + Chris.
Team B= Tony + Charlie.

I grab the noodle pot. I fill it with water.

I stick it in front of the Camper. I wait for the right moment. I grab it and soak Tony partially. I freak out when I see the look in his eyes. he is totally going to kill me.

I run.

and I'm caught.

he has me by the arm, I struggle out of it.

He has me by the back of my shirt...I struggle out of it.

He has me by the wrist. I somehow struggle out of it.

He says "I have handcuffs." and smirks.

I run behind Chris. Chris tells him to put them away.

I grab my guns and walk behind the camper...Tony Follows...

He whispers "How about that kiss?"

I smirk, "No Associating with the enemy."

He curses me under his breath, I heard him.

I make a run for it. He has a huge bowl of water. it looks cold.

He sits on the hood of his car, Charlie and him ride after me.

I run into the woods. I'm panting, I can't breathe.

I run back to the camper and lock myself in.

I sneak out and Tony Soaks me compleatly.

Me and Rissa, who also assulted him with water, Ride to the wash room at the front of the camp ground.

I strip my clothing, I want to tell her so badly, but don't.

I'm wrapped in a towel. we hear the truck pull up. I hide in the corner. I hold the door closed with all my might and say "Please think differently about your decision about coming into the wash room...I'm Partially naked."

Rissa has a bowl of water. the door is ripped open, I'm standing there with my towel....Tony stares at me.

I scream something, ( I can't Remember) and slam the door.

my clothes still aren't dry.

it takes a while. but my panties and Bra dry. my shoes are still soaked.

I shove in my undergarments, with the towle still wrapped around me I run for the Jeep.

I get into some of Rissa's clothes back at the camper.

~End Scene~

Later That Day:

We're Playing Shuffle Board (LOL)

TEAMS:
Black: Tony + Rissa.
Red: Chris + Britney.

he keeps asking me to kiss him, I keep refusing.

finally we switch sides.

Rissa's next to me now.

I wanna tell her ALOT...but my mouth won't open.

Chris and I Lose. Both Games.

~End Scene~

Scene: I'm At Home.

I Go on the computer. the first person I talk to is Deva. I Tell her everything. I tell... ]]></sub> ~stolen-dream http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/12558761/ http://stolen-dream.deviantart.com/journal/12558761/ Wed, 11 Apr 2007 19:33:08 PDT 100 theme challengeeee
Stampss
Christmas List
My New Friend
Things To Know about Stolen-Dream

--------> Start News:

Ket me lay what happened before I go into extreame "Ihatetheworldandmylife" business.

here's what went down:

I went to Rissa's (aka aunt aprils) to comfort her about her grandmom dieing becuase Rissa went into extreame depression mode and I hate when anyone is depressed even if I'm not really their friend. So Rissa and I chill for that day and I go down stairs to my "room" at Aprils.

I wake up and Rissa isn't home. I remember her saying something about where she's going but I don't remember exactally. So I go over Deva's. (which is right next door) I hang out with Deva, Gail, Christoph, all day (along with Deva's two kids Mia and Jenna.)

I call my mom and ask her if its okay if I sleep over Deva's and she says I can. My aunt calls over to Deva's house to tell my to come back home because her and uncle Ben are going to sleep. so I tell her that I'm sleeping over Deva's and she says "okay." And asks me if I'm positive. and of course I say yes.

I wake up to a foot in my neck beause Gail, Christoph and I all fell asleep on the couch and Gail's foot found its way to my neck. lol. so I mess with Gail my rubbing her leg and then acting asleep ...I'm getting off track... continuing:

So I go over to my Aunts to get dressed because I left my bag over there. (whoops) She tells me that she's going to the doctors to meet up with Rissa and Matt, Rissa's brother, who was one of my main reasons for going over there other than Rissa's mommom. I say "okay, we'll be back soon we're going to the store for some stuff." and she says "okay."

We get back from the stoor and maybe 30 minutes later Rissa ans April drive into the drive way. No Matt. So we go dress shopping because I needed to get my dress for Rissa's wedding.

We find a dress and I go over to Deva's again for dinner and to hang with Deva and the Gang. I call my mom to ask her if its okay that I sleep over Deva's house and she says "okay but I'm picking you up tomorrow so we can do stuffs." and I say "fine."

I give the gang hi-fives and maybe an hour later I get a call from April, she says "I think its a good idea you come and hang with Rissa, because you guys have to share." I wasn't even given a choice. I said "well I have to help Gail and Deva dye their hair." she responds, "well you told Rissa you were going to watch a movie with her and that you were going to do stuff with her." I was like "once I finish with their hair I'll be over." she hung up.

Both me and Deva were pissed because not only did we not want to deal with this bull because we do everytime I go over to Deva's but because it was getting old, and I'm not a freaking shirt you can't be like "hey, can I borrow your Britney?" I'm not 'Shareable' I'm a human and I do what I want.

So I guess April called my mom because she walks into Deva's house and is like freaking out, "Because of you I can't see Britney anymore and she can't come over anymore and she can't come over here anymore. ect.ect."

We were all like "wtf?"

so my mom calls Deva's house she says "Britney, I'm coming to pick you up, come out to the car when I get there, I'll be there in 15 minutes." That ticked me off. not that my mom was coming to pick me up, no, it was Rissa. she jsut had to go and freak out and my April call me. I walk, very angrily, over to Aprils house and like burst through the dorrs and pack up all my stuff.

I go up stairs grab my new undies and stuff and walk down. My uncle comes into my room and is like "do you need to get anything off your mind you know I'm here for you." and he gives me a huge hug and I just burst out into tears. I told him everything that was on my mind, he never judged me. he just listened to everything.

so I walk over to Deva's because thats where my mom showed up.

My mom never said anything about not letting me see my aunt or my cousins again. but I'm not allowed to sleep over anymore because it causes too much drama.

so I really hate myself right now because I'm pretty much the root of this problem.

I cried so much over this. I couldn't stop. I can't be without my girls. and I need time away from home. I need the affection they give me. I need all the talks and the cuddles and the love. I need to feel like I'm actually wanted.

I hate when things like this happens because everthing else thats been on my mi... ]]> ~stolen-dream