http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:sub-molecular-pyrum&section=today deviantART RSS for by:sub-molecular-pyrum en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 13:59:37 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://sub-molecular-pyrum.deviantart.com/journal/18051512/ http://sub-molecular-pyrum.deviantart.com/journal/18051512/ Mon, 29 Jun 2009 12:44:40 PDT the other half is here: [link]

Chuck Norris doesn't own a stove or microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Chuck norris walked into a newsagents... no one survived.

3Chuck norris CAN believe it's not butter

Chuck norris can slam a revolving door

Chuck norris doesn't play God because playing is for kids

Chuck norris can win a game of connect 4 in just 3moves

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird

Chuck norris gives freddy kroeger nightmares

There is no ctrl button on chuck norris's computer because chuck norris is always in control

Chuck norris drives an ice cream truck cover in human skulls

There is no theory of evolution. just a list of animals that chuck norris lets live

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded 12 guage shotgun and won.

There is in fact an I in Norris, but there is no team not even close.

Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.

The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a starin... ]]> ~sub-molecular-pyrum