http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:sugarcoatedcarcrash&section=today deviantART RSS for by:sugarcoatedcarcrash en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 11 Dec 2009 22:51:06 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19899072/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19899072/ Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:24:19 PDT
if you wish to see personal journals, please feel free to take a look at my livejournal:
[link]

which also has all of my recent pictures, videos, and lots more.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19833637/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19833637/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:16:41 PDT i see arizona stars from here...but peter pan is miles away.


music overload. i've gotten to the point where i can admit that i love shwayze. i've been in denial for a while, because they were so popular and on mtv and pretty much fit in with everything i hate...but i can't say that they don't make me smile when i listen to them. they are really just one of those feel good guilty pleasure sorta bands.
i've also managed to get my hands on some of the new jacks mannequin.(YES!) the resolution has been on repeat for the last couple of days...and oh my gosh. i love, i love, i love.
i think i may be falling in love with damien rice...i've been searching around some bands that have been floating around that i've seen, and just grabbing the ones that appeal to me. he's one of them.
i'm also loving some of the new the academy is...
summer hair = forever young.

stop making plans, start making sense.
don't you believe a word they said.
i got sparked up like a book of matches falling through the night, rising from the ashes.

hmmmm...i've been in an odd mood lately. it's not good...but it's not bad.
i've been really optimistic when i think about how the rest of my summer is going to be...i'm very excited for it.
katie's planning this summer bash thing, nothing huge, just a handful of our friends, but it should be awesome nonetheless. bbq, endless picture taking, and jumping on her trampoline with bathing suits and water balloons like we said we'd do all summer, but never got the chance to. aha. so stoked.
and then i think about how i only have about 2 or 3 weeks left of summer vacation left...and this whole new wave of sadness and worry rushes over me. i've been saying i'm ready for highschool, for a new start...but i hate not knowing what lies ahead for me. i'm thinking it's either going to be really good...or really bad. i don't know. i'm still really pissed that i'm finally starting to enjoy my summer, and it's practically over. that is so just my luck.

i got back from the beach on monday. and i was pretty glad to be home. my family's been pissing me off lately, i have no idea why, but i'm so close to slitting my sister's throat.

aha, but it wasn't THAT bad...i finally saw 21, and it was really good. oh, and i saw titanic, but still not the whole thing...i also gained probably 10 pounds from eating way too many smores, bought a new bathing suit, learned to play poker(not really...) and discovered that vanilla milkshake poptarts exist and are the best things ever, next to tie dye hoodies...

i can't wait to get my hands on breaking dawn. i still haven't gotten it yet, and it's driving me insane. thank God no one's spoiled it for me yet. i should be getting it friday. and i swear if there isn't a real bella and edward sex scene, i am going to be so disappointed.








p.s. [link] ----> go there. that shit is like DRUGS. it's awesome.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19776082/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19776082/ Mon, 04 Aug 2008 17:31:09 PDT i think i found something amazing, now it's your turn to amaze me.
you paint the sky a crimson red, you bring the stars to life right from your bed.
we'll lay up on my roof at night and watch the shooting stars fly by.
i'll tell you "someday i'll take you there."

i'll sing to you just one more time, recite to you just one more line, as the mixtape screams out motorcycle drive by.
plastic stars taped upon your ceiling, shout out loud tell me what you're feeling.
i'll fall asleep early tonight, tonight, tonight.

looking on, to her happy smiling face. hold her tight, as we watch the sunset fade. sneaking out, late night dates on saturdays.


i feel like i'm on top of the world. this summer is taking a huge turn for the better and i just want to drive away somewhere in the middle of nowhere and scream at the top of my lungs. i don't really know how to describe it. it feels good though, and i like it.
i hung out with katie this weekend. i think i'm going to keep this post short, and just put the details in the cut. her brother's girlfriend was there, so she's been kinda going insane with third-wheelism lately, and it was good to hang out with her again, we were kinda drifting apart, and it was comforting to know nothing's changed with us.
we went to reed's gold mine today, and it was pretty fun. something different from going to the mall or movies or something.
but while we were driving back, we passed a field with horses and stuff, and for some reason, memories of last summer hit me, and i felt like i felt back then....hanging out at amanda's house, we went over to this barn near her house and it was such a beautiful day...(green grass, blue skies, golden sun, ya know...)
and it was just...awesome. it was very free and it just...screamed summer. i don't know...it's a really good memory of mine, and i have no idea why it was brought back today....but it was. and i liked it.
and for the first time in a LONG time, i took a look around and i really felt like my heart was about to just....explode. i don't even know why, but right then, at that moment, i was content.

haha..so much for this being short.
anyways, i'm going to the beach tomorrow.
which should be....fun? bleck. i dunno. maybe.

buttttt...today amanda informed me that once she moves down here, i will be SICK of her. which is very, very good news. i miss my bunny.



on a side note:
these journals are always a few days late on deviantart and the dates are not accurate...my livejournal shows the real dates.
[link]

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19659729/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19659729/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:29:18 PDT morning light...shall burst bright and keep us here safely.
i glimpsed a bat with butterfly wings....oh, what marvelous things.
i followed a rabbit through rows of mermaid entwined shrubbery.
oh, lying in the sun...everday feeling all of the magic in life.


it's funny how i was bored all summer, and then finally....BAM! everything falls into place and all of a sudden i am PACKED with stuff.
so here is what's up:

friday. had some family friends come over. a brother and sister. brother is my brother's age. sister is my sister's age. me stuck in the middle. but it was cool. they were both really nice, and i have been drifting apart from them for a while, so it was nice to get closer again. me and the boys watched cloverfield. which is REALLY good. and then we watched across the universe...it was only like, my 15th time seeing it. haha. then me and the girls watched the eye...which was actually pretty good. 

saturday/sunday. i went to annaliese's house for a lake party thing. why? because this guy was going. his name is ryan, and i am pretty much convinced that he is made for me. hahaha. we've been talking and we finally met. we kinda have a thing going on, but it's still in phase one. nothing huge yet....which is good. we're taking things slow, and i really think he is going to be good for me. 
anyways...the lake was so much fun. the ducks following us during putt-putt  and reproducing in the lighthouse. also, winning because highest score wins, right? the wall of doom. the hole of doom. looking up at the stars during our night swim. austin NOT earning 5 bucks. talkin ghetto. making fun of friday the 13th and how it was in the PRESENT...not the 80s. IT'S JASON! eating fahgitas. totally kicking ass at catch phrases. "when my father calls" ryan smelling like summertime. aqua man! tubing, floating, cruising, chilling. i had a great time. definitely need to hang out with those kids more often.

right now. i am feeling somewhat sick. the whole time at the lake, i kept feeling like i was about to throw up. i just couldn't eat anything without feeling sick. it was horrible. i don't know if it was nerves, butterflies, being on a boat too long, drinking too much lake water, something i ate, laughing too much, or what. but i just did not feel good. and i still don't really feel good. i'm also feeling exhausted, excited, anxious, crushing, busy, somewhat worried, content, dorky, and all over just flooded. i can't say i don't like it though.

tomorrow. going to go see counting crows, maroon 5, and sara bareilles at verizon wireless. going with the family. i'm pretty stoked. it should be a good show.

and that's pretty much it. going to the beach either thursday or friday. no friends, and i'm ok with it. right now, i'm really where i want to be. i am very content with my life right now. 

dear did you know you're all I ask for? 

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19417077/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19417077/ Tue, 15 Jul 2008 20:26:47 PDT i don't know what you could possibly expect under this condition so i'll wait for the ambulance to come pick us up off the floor....what did you possibily expect under this condition?

and this flood is slowly rising up, swallowing the ground beneath my feet. tell me how anybody thinks under this condition....
so...i'll swim as the water rises up, sun is sinking down and now all I can see are the planets in a row suggesting it's best that i slow down...this nights a perfect shade of dark blue.

have you ever been alone in a crowded room? while i'm here with you...the world could be burning down.

while I'm here with you ...i said the world could be burning 'til there's nothing but dark blue.

we were boxing....we were boxing the stars.
you were swinging for Mars
and then the water reached the west coast and took the power lines...
and it was me and you and the whole town underwater.
there was nothing we could do...it was dark blue.



well, yesterday probably made the top 10 best days of my life. warped tour is definitely where my heart belongs, man. soooooooooo amazing. it was freaking hot. it was supposed to rain and be somewhat cool, but it was clear and HOT for most of the day. i was sweaty and gross and disgusting and miserable.


....but it was the best thing EVER.



oh, and...
I MET ANDREW FUCKING MCMAHON. AAAAHHHH! definitely the highlight of my warped experience. we waited in line for an HOUR to meet him, but it was well worth it. he was such a cool guy. he loved katie's socks. xD
i also met jac vanek. she's really nice, totally cool and fun to talk too....and even more gorgeous in person.
and i also met austin bello from forever the sickest kids. haha. he smelled. but what guy there didn't? xD

and i saw...
madina lake, relient k, gym class heroes, the academy is..., cobra starship, against me!, jacks mannequin, angels and airwaves, the higher, and story of the year.

and of course, there were a lot others that we just heard walking around and stuff.

i missed a lot of the bands i wanted to see because of the whole hour long line thing, but again, it was so worth it.

i also missed say anything, which was the last band to play. we were walking out, my dad was on his cell trying to get a signal to talk to my brother, as we were trying to decide if we wanted to stay and see them or not...but as he was walking, he crossed the exit place thing and the guy said we couldn't go back in. we were LITERALLY two feet away from the inside. it was so stupid. but we were exhausted anyway, so i probably wouldn't have enjoyed the show anyway.

oh, and i finally got a sunburn! haha, i'm actually kinda proud of it. it just doesn't feel like summer without a sunburn.


but yeah...it was so amazing. someone was talking about how the guys at warped don't get paid, about how it's all about exposure. and as we were standing in line waiting for the andrew mcmahon signing, these guys from this band called lights off dancing came up to us to get us to listen to their cd. they weren't the first guys to do it, but they're the only ones that i remember the name. but they were INSANELY good. everyone that stopped us was insanely good! it's so cool to be able to go somewhere and all that matters is the music. no one cares if you fucking buy it...but just listen to it!

the people there were really friendly too. of course, there's your handful of everyday assholes that cut in front of you and obscure your view of the band playing, but in general, everyone's just there to listen to music and have a good time. we met probably one of the most hardcore jacks mannequin fans ever. he knew wayy more about the band than i did...and on the top of his head too. he was really nice. just random people will talk to you and shit, it's cool. i feel a sort of sense of belonging. i don't feel weird at all at warped. minus the fact that i felt like a total geek for screaming when i saw forever the sickest kids at their merch table and have everyone there stare at me. haha. xD btw, i probably sound like a geek writing all of this right now...but honestly, i don't care.

and on an equally geeky, but completely teenage-girl-minded note...i have NEVER seen SO many hot guys in one place at one time like that ever before. daaaaamnnnn. me and katie were just having a field day. xD we have a thing where we make noises and say "left..." "right..." "straight ahead..." when we see a hot guy. and we were doing that at least every two seconds. it was fabulous.

pictures ARE coming soon, guys, i promise.


but if you left it up to me...everyday would be a holiday from real.
we'd waste our weeks beneath the sun, we'd fry our brains and say it's so much fun out... ]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19337530/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19337530/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:54:12 PDT




]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19337388/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19337388/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:48:12 PDT the way you make me feel will never leave my mind. think of you later in my empty room, where I will fall asleep alone.

gonna sink this ship tonight. gonna see if hope really floats.
i got a feeling that it doesn't.
do you believe in miracles? 'cause tonight we resurrect the dead.

we'll dig on the bottom of the ocean.
we'll dance, we'll dance, we'll dance.

we saw the summer night, we drank down the sober sky.
left our mark into the concrete. lie down with a view, fell asleep on top of the roof.
remember when the sky turned orange...or was it black the night before? we've been around on the other side of innocence.
now we're waking up to AM radio.
i felt fingers but I couldn't keep from racking.
your body language said you knew that this would happen.

i'm digging a hole for the days of the cold. i'll put them two feet deep so I can reach them if I need them.





yooo. I just got home from my third day at driver's ed. i have lipton iced tea. it's about to storm. i'm texting my loves, who i normally don't get to talk to, on my new black chocolate. verizon replaced my old one for only $50. but i had to keep my old battery...and the only colors they had were red, white, or black. so now i have a black phone with a pink back to it. xD but i don't care. i now have unlimited texting, and i LOVE it. I'm now able to keep in touch with people that were starting to slip out of my life. but all in all, i am very content right now.

driver's ed is....boring. my teacher is this guy that has a beer belly and is the classic definition of a redneck and has a mullet. yep. but it's not that bad. we just watch a bunch of cheesy movies from the 80's and listen to him get confused about what the rules are. we get one break, and then we go home 15 minutes early.

I hung out with katie this weekend. very...interesting. we went to the pool, then came home and took a shower together. ;D then we went to go see fireworks at this fair type thing where half the town was. we saw a LOT of people we knew...but we kinda hated all of them, so it was pretty lame. but then we had ice cream when we got home and all was right in the world again.

I finally got youtube to upload videos for me. i tried a while back, but i could never get it to work. so expect a lot more videos from me in the future.

other then that, i've been obsessed with every avenue and this guy, rich price. are AMAZING. also really loving we are scientists, danger radio, and the maine's new album.

I need to go to the mall this weekend. i need new sunglasses before i go to warped. that's pretty much it. aren't my blogs so exciting?

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19097355/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19097355/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 18:16:12 PDT i'm as selfish as a suicide. i took all of my memories and threw them in the ocean. i opened my eyes and managed to find some clarity. don't hang onto words you don't understand. they're just letters in unalphabetical order anyway. but love starts with "L" and so does liar. so let's dress up like dreams and pretend we're free. i hear it's nice, i'd like to try it sometime.

love life til you get it wrong, take a breath and turn your head.
oh my God, i've gotta get out of this trend. it's 8:00 in the middle of a last chance.
don't swallow the sun, the moon isn't bright enough.
we're all like flashlights, useless til you turn us on.
i spell my name with capital letters, but I don't talk much 'cause I'm a beginner at this life thing.
yeah I'm young, but that don't mean much here.

i've got 7 days 'til a new week comes, and 24 hours to convince myself i'm real.
because today i'm not so sure i even exist.


i'm an east coast kid with a west coast way. and I don't mind the weather but I hate the way it has to change. making out to mixtapes. did I mention how i used to hate that song before I met that girl that was in love with The Beatles? and did I mention that sometimes I'm not right?


we'll learn about philosophy by drawing on our arms. we'll learn about biology by taking off our clothes, and buy some yellow spraypaint to make a yellow brick road.
i'll walk you to the ocean and build you a castle of sand to live in. we'll learn about geography by sleeping in the grass.







albums i NEED to buy before the summer is over:
can't love, can't hurt - augustana
dressed up like dreams - backseat goodbye
saturday nights and sunday mornings - counting crows
not too late - norah jones
hello, good friend. - the rocket summer
a collection - third eye blind


why did i just make that list? because it just occured to me that my cd collection(yes, i still buy cds. xD i'm a huge geek) needs them desperately.

i've been feeling really down lately. this summer is depressing me and i have no idea why. i've been going to bed around 2 and waking up around 1. it's starting to get to me. tomorrow i am forcing myself to get up before 11.

i want to go to the beach. change of plans, no atlanta this weekend. i'm pretty bummed, but i'm kinda like "whatever" right now. going to the mall friday and thank GOD. i need to get out of this damn house, i feel so stuck.

i love this blog. i feel a thousand times better after i've blogged. it's funny though, looking back at my past thoughts. it's funny how much i've changed, what i used to think and say and feel.

we shot the moon is a really good band i've heard recently. this entry's gonna be REALLY random, because...why not? i wanna go to the library and get some books. i might make my mom do that this weekend. i'm sick of re-reading the twilight and harry potter series.

i've heard the new cute is what we aim for. tis pretty good. ^^ can't wait for so many new albums coming this summer. i've been absorbing music like a SPONGE lately, i guess since school's over, i don't have to focus on anything, so i'm able to take in all sorts of new bands and artists. lately i've been listening to waaayyy too many bands to name right now.


i think that's all for now.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19004637/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/19004637/ Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:36:29 PDT
it would mean the world to me if you took the time to vote for my friend, , here:

[link]




it's a contest for this panic club id thing.


this is her submission:
[link]



thanks!

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18991179/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18991179/ Sun, 22 Jun 2008 21:34:49 PDT you were here just yesterday.
i guess i need my life to change.
seems like something's just aren't the same. what could I say? i stare up at the stars i wonder just where you are.
you feel a million miles away.



and it was summer, don't hide your sunburn.
wear that shirt that's cut so low.
sleeping in and we're nowhere near the weekend.
waking up inside a basement with my best friends.
we chased our dreams from nine to five, but when the sun goes down is when we felt alive.

in summer heat we lose our clothes.
and it won't hurt what they don't know.
keep taking baby steps, we're still so far, so far ahead.

summer secrets keep me breathing, my old routine stopped repeating.
and I'll never forget anything that happened today.
the days go by but we don't change.


so summer finally hit me. i was feeling depressed all up until today. it was all just little things, but now they don't matter. the freedom and the happiness finally came and now my only goal is to have a good time. i'm starting over clean and throwing my past mistakes out the window. i'm going to this road atlanta race thing with katie on friday and i can not wait. i'm going to the beach hopefully around the end of july, after driver's ed. and we should be getting warped tickets in the mail any day now. the highlights of my summer are all planned out and i am stoked for them.


other then that, i have realized that all i need in life is my camera, my music, and my really awesome best friends.












**dA's being stupid, so i can't change my mood for now. i'll change it later.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18843313/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18843313/ Sat, 14 Jun 2008 18:55:53 PDT
]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18843191/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18843191/ Sat, 14 Jun 2008 18:47:56 PDT it's really upsetting. thank GOD she lives only like, 5 minutes away. we're gonna hang out non-stop this summer. omg. i can't believe i will be a HIGH SCHOOLER IN ONLY 3 MONTHS. that's really really scary for me, i never really thought about this day actually coming. i feel old. haha. no lie, i seriously do.

i was fine during school on the last (half) day. then, ventures came around and we all went out in the hall to say our goodbyes and get our hugs. katie came out of her classroom a while later and ATTACKED me with probably the biggest hug we've shared.....that's when the tears came. it was crazy. my whole team was seriously in the middle of the hallway, congregating. then second dismissal was called, and of course, the lady on the intercom HAD to say "FOR THE LAST TIME THIS YEAR, SECOND DISMISSAL." that upsetted me. xD but then katie and i took our final steps out of c.c. griffin, arms locked together.

i know i sound REALLY stupid and hypocritical right now because last year i HATED ccg. i couldn't wait to get out. but i really am going to miss it after this year. so many people are going to hickory. it sucks.

i remember the kill desk, the WWW gang(world war against white people), ms. curran spraying a water bottle at branson, me and katie's sexual hugs on the bus lot, kaylee's spaceship, singing the reba theme song in yearbook, all of the stupid rundays, all of the crazy times with katie both in school and out, shareese loving quentin, all of the sex jokes in english, brandon's adam's apple and him smelling like me, sami knee-raping me, open lunch, staring at the teachers and feeling bad for mr. shuler when ms. zimmerman left, and then cheering when she came back, the "food fight", the lollipop fridays, charleson, charleston, charleston, the walks after lunch, meghan being afraid of the trash can at the movies, 3 guys running around the track with their shirts off during the 8th grade picture. i remember so much. i remember far more then i can even think of right now. how do i put a whole year into words?

this year was by far the best grade year of my life. i grew and learned so much more then any books could teach me, and that's what makes a great school year for me. this whole freaking blog is going to sound corny, but i don't care. it's the end of the year, i can sound corny if i want. so much has happened. I've grown a LOT as a person and i learned a LOT about myself. and i don't regret ANYTHING. not a single thing that happened this year. everything happened for a reason, and i learned from all of it, and i plan on taking that knowledge with me to highschool and having an even better year next year.

i'm shocked that i managed to document most of it, from beginning to end on this livejournal. haha, i know that is random and really pointless, but it's huge to me. i can look back and see everything that happened, and i plan on doing it next year too.

i know i seem really upset, but like i said before, it took me and katie a LOT to cry about this year ending. i really am happy that it's summer and i'm happy that i will have a fresh start in highschool. i'm excited to meet new people and to experience new things.







you're not alone, together we stand.
i'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand.
when it gets cold and it feels like the end, there's no place to go, you know I won't give in.

so far away, i wish you were here.
before it's too late, this could all disappear.
before the doors close and it comes to an end, with you by my side I will fight and defend.

hear me when I say, when I say I believe nothing's gonna change.
nothing's gonna change destiny.
whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly.





i hated that song, until katie sent me a video with it on it, along with a HUGE message about leaving me and shit. it made me cry like nothing else.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18633560/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18633560/ Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:52:25 PDT waking up at the start of the end of the world, but it's feeling just like every other morning before.
now i wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone.
the cars are moving like a half a mile an hour and I started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye.
can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?

i believe the world is burning to the ground, oh well I guess we're gonna find out.
let's see how far we've come.
well I believe it all is coming to an end. oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend.

i think it turned ten o'clock but I don't really know.
and I can't remember caring for an hour or so.
started crying and I couldn't stop myself.
i started running but there's no where to run to.
i sat down on the street took a look at myself, said where you going? man, you know the world is headed for hell.
say your goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to.





everyday at school, i feel like i'm waiting to just break down and cry. it's really going to be over soon. and that's really depressing for me. i look at all the people i've been seeing everyday for 180 days. the people i've gotten to know and love and live with. and soon, i probably won't ever see those people again.

field day was friday. i got my yearbook on thursday, but everyone got theirs on friday. everyone seemed pretty happy with them. although some people were pissed that they couldn't find themselves on the cover. xD

today was awards day. the freaking PEOPLE(i don't know WHOSE fault it was. but i am TICKED.) messed up the songs for our slideshows. but honestly, i'm a little bit glad they did, if they had picked the songs they were supposed to pick, i would've SO cried probably.

i'm a little bit pissed though, because for one thing, i'm sick of algebra. and for another, i never really got a chance to let everyone sign my yearbook. hopefully we'll get a chance on the last day of school or friday or something. but on the last day we have an exam which is BULLSHIT. because there is NO way i'm going to be able to focus on it. x.x


that's about it. just end of the year stuff.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18532679/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18532679/ Tue, 27 May 2008 18:30:11 PDT
it's all in your mind, she said, the darkness and the light. the clock it bleeds for you, but you never got the time in right.
i woke you up and I slit the throat of your confidence.
and we laughed in the night and I felt all right.
all hands on deck boys, cause this ship was made to sink.

i'm the fear in your eyes.
i'm the fire in your flies.
i'm the sound that's buzzing around your head.





so i'm sitting at my computer after having a HUGE battle with it, i finally won. yesterday, my dad had to sweep it to get rid of all these bugs and stuff and they're still not all gone, but that will change later tonight. i finally got napster and aol to cooperate and i am now on my own account, and all is at peace. it's labor day so of course, no school today. went to katie's house friday night and made cupcakes instead of going to speed street for...various reasons. but i'm definitely not complaining about it.

i hate it when i feel like blogging, but i have nothing to blog about.

the honorary title is REALLY good. another new love? maybe.


i'm not too sure how to desribe how i'm feeling right now, but it's not bad. i'm really content and really nostalgic and sentimental, which i know i say that all the time, but it's so true. i'm excited for summer coming up and i really really really need to go to the beach soon but i'm so afraid i'm not going to get the chance.

i need the smell of summer. i need its noises in my ear.

i don't know. i've been feeling weird lately. and i've come to the conclusion that i am too honest when i'm with my absolute BEST friends, i just feel the need to tell them everything. which isn't really a problem, it's just something i've noticed that COULD be a problem. i don't know. i guess that's just how i am.

and on another random note, i saw pictures of pete and ashlee's wedding and i have to say: "awwwww!!!!!!!!" i really am happy for them. they had like, my dream wedding. i love that it was a total alice and wonderland theme, they totally managed to make it so romantic and sweet without making it a huge cheesy cliche, like most weddings. and i love that their first song was "first day of my life" by bright eyes. i LOVE that song, omg. but yeah, i felt i needed to share that. weddings like that and relationships like that make me so stoked for my future.


mehh. blahh. bleeehhh. i'm ready for school to finally be over with. i have algebra half the day on wednesday. then again on thursday, then AGAIN next tuesday and wednesday, i think. friday is field day and next monday is awards day. i hate math. i hate my math teacher. i hate that she's keeping us longer then she's supposed to. NOT looking forward to it at ALL. i just want to be DONE with testing already. why can't it be like in elementary school where the last week of school is always filled with fun? srsly. come on peoples. not cool. not cool at all.

i don't know. i'm ranting. i'll shut up now.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18420568/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18420568/ Tue, 20 May 2008 18:29:29 PDT
all that noise, and all that sound, all those places I got found.

climb up, up in the trees, every chance that you get, is a chance you seize.
how long am I gonna stand, with my head stuck under the sand?

how long before you decide?
before I know what it feels like?
where to, where do I go?
if you never try, then you'll never know.

the lights go out and I can't be saved, tides that I tried to swim against have brought me down upon my knees. come out of things unsaid, shoot an apple off my head. confusion never stops. closing walls and ticking clocks. come out upon my seas, cursed missed opportunities. am i a part of the cure or am i part of the disease?

when you try your best, but you don't succeed. when you get what you want, but not what you need. when you feel so tired, but you just can't sleep. stuck in reverse.
lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones. and I will try to fix you. high up above or down below. when you're too in love to let it go, if you never try you'll never know just what you're worth.

you and me are floating on a tidal wave. you and me are drifting into outer space. just look at the stars, look how they shine for you.



june is creeping up on me. we had our math eog today and thursday we had our science eog. tomorrow is english. and after eog's, school is mostly considered over. i can NOT believe this year went by THAT fast. and i am so glad to say that there are aspects of this year that i am DEFINITELY going to miss. i am so going to be a crying MESS on the last day of school. xD i cried in 5th grade and 6th grade, but not in 7th. i was esctatic to get rid of last year, and i'm so happy with the improvement i've made this year.

but i guess i'll talk more about the end of the year when i actually get to it. i think i'm going to start posting entries more often. at least once a week. by the summer it'd be like, every other day. haha. speaking of summer, the pool opened this past weekend. i can't wait to go because the first time i go every year, it's like, the official start of summer for me.

dance is almost over. thursday will be my last ACTUAL class, and supposedly, we're getting a surprise. we got the annual party thing on monday, but we had ice cream instead of pizza....yum. recital's next saturday. dress rehersal that friday. so, busy with dance as well as school.

i think i'm getting more and more dependent on my camera everyday. i just want to capture every little thing. i keep taking pictures of absolutely EVERYTHING. i guess i'm just afraid of forgetting.

in music news, i'm pretty much in love with copeland and coldplay right now. mainly coldplay. oh oh oh! and death cab's new record. chyeaaah.


counting down the days to june 3rd. why? cause THE GLASS PASSENGER WILL THEN BE HERE!! i can NOT wait until the new jacks mannequin cd comes out.



oh summer, hurry up already.











AS FOR DEVIANTART NEWS....


i swear i've been picking up my camera. i swear i have a billion pictures to upload. i really do. i just haven't found time to put them up on deviantart. once school is over, i promise a major picture update. i have a lot of stuff i want to show my watchers and such. i promise i've been improving, i haven't died. hopefully they'll all be worth the wait. of course, if you want to see what i am up to, my livejournal is the BEST place to find me:


[link]

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18420222/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18420222/ Tue, 20 May 2008 18:09:38 PDT ***I originally wrote this on the 7th. not the 20th. i forgot to post it.***




so it's finally may. i've been sick the past two days. stuffy nose, scratchy throat, achey head, cough. cough. cough. mhmm, all of that. blah. i should be at school right now, but i'm staying home. i stayed home yesterday as well, but that was a teacher workday. i've been sleeping a lot lately, which has been GRAND. i've been just chilling out and watching america's next top model re-runs, southpark(blame amanda. it's her fault.), and of course, surs.
not much has really been up, i'm only updating because i have random pictures.

school is coming to a close. we should be getting the yearbooks in and we apparently have to give them out on 8th grade field day, which sucks because that means WE'RE going to miss most of it. but whatever. i'll be ok as long as me and katie have the same shifts.

i really can't wait for summer, but it's weird. i'm scared for it to come for some reason. i guess i'm scared of it being insanely boring and miserable. amanda's moving back to charlotte, which i am STOKED for. but now i'll probably only go to the beach this summer like...once. i can't wait for warped tour. gonna get a group of people to take and i am DETERMINED to meet people from bands.

everyday it seems i keep getting more and more excited for highschool. i'm ready for a change. i want to meet new people and start over. i'm ready to truely find myself. and i know this sounds SO stupid, but i want to find where i belong. i want to find people i can just mold to and i don't have to change anything about myself to fit in with them. i only have a handful of these kinds of people now, and they're scattered across the state and it sucks.

in the light of the sun, is there anyone? oh it has begun...oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed. i think i need a new town, to leave this all behind...i think I need a sunrise, i'm tired of the sunset. so put me on a plane, and fly me to anywhere. breaking up with your breakdown. standing tall in your white gown. you're going nowhere, you're going fast. slowing down, but it never lasts. let the summer rain bring rest and shame and love.

oh, and augustana is my new love. oh my gosh. <33

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18232413/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18232413/ Thu, 08 May 2008 18:59:50 PDT tagged me, so here we go.


The rules are:
1. Post these rules.
2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves.
3. Tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts.
4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named.
5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged.



1. i'm EXTREMELY ticklish, and EVERYWHERE. i recently discovered i'm even ticklish on my neck.

2. my room is painted bright and blinding orange, and i love it.

3. i have extreme split ends, you can actually see where strands of my hair spilts into two. i need a haircut desperately.

4. i'm terrified of rollar coasters.

5. i hate mac and cheese.

6. i'm so sexual and perverted, it's not even funny.

7. i've been a dancer for 9 years now. and i mean, like, ballet dancer(although i DO do other kinds) i'm talking tutus and point shoes, people.

8. i've had to have two ingrown toenails removed on each foot.





and i don't feel like tagging people. so if you watch me, and wanna do this. be my guest.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18137555/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/18137555/ Fri, 02 May 2008 17:59:08 PDT
it's about the reststops. the highways. the gas stations. the skylines. the city lights. it's about the mornings breaking just a bit too soon. it's about staying up because dreams only last for a night. it's about losing yourself in the bright lights and waking up with the fondest memories.

god, i miss atlanta. I miss amanda. this past weekend was probably the best of my life. i have SO many pictures(about 600, actually. xD yes, i went photo CRAZY.) and SO many memories to go with it. it's hard to believe it was all over the course of 2 days. i wish EVERDAY could be like that, you know? i just can't wait until i get my license. i really want to be independent when it comes to going where i want to go when i want to go there. my life would be so much better if i could do that. speaking of which, guess who's taking driver's ed this summer? haha. i am so not kidding. watch out, world.

out here the hills roll on for miles, the sun is like my own sense of direction, i'm always drawn to each horizon. when it's rising, when it sets. but all I can think about is sex. so let it roll. take a breath. we've got all the time in the world to get a grip on the fact that we don't last. but right now I want to watch the tide roll in with my best friends.

tonight, we lie awake. remember how the coffee made us shake on those long drives? one more long night. heartbeat racing. the interstate, my home tonight. for one more long night. i'm sure as hell the happiest i've ever been. memories, they came and went in light of all the time we spent. listening to everything our parents told us not to take in. now make a change. i'm counting down the mile marks to every town. and falling more in love with the distance put between us.

i'm mixed up, so i'll be blunt. the rain is just washing you out of my hair. from so many thousands of feet off the ground, i'm over you now. i'm at home in the clouds and towering over your head. i am DONE with boys until highschool. unless one amazing and hot and available and sweet and loving guy that is PERFECT for me falls out of the sky and into my lap until then, i shall be staying single.


this is probably going to be the longest entry of my life, both with words and pictures, but i don't care. i have a lot to say. i have a lot of thoughts, a lot going on right now and i want to blog and get it all figured out. middle school is quickly, VERY quickly coming to a close. the summer is almost pretty much here. i'm really excited for it. i'm going to try and do everything i can to make it the best yet, even better than last summer. and soon, i will be a highschooler. and i think now, i'm finally ready for it. i'm ready to start over new, throw all the negativity of this year out the window, and hold on to the positives and build on them. i'm actually ready to make new friends, but of course i still want to keep those closest to me.

i've been in an odd mood lately. everytime i think of all i have to look forward, everytime i start getting optimistic, something pops up and completely brings me down. i hate it. i think i'm just ready for school to be over with finally. i'm so sick of this routine. i need a day off, and thank God i don't have school next tuesday. i really want to enjoy my last few d... ]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17976367/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17976367/ Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:32:32 PDT
wait outside, I hope the air will serve to remind you, that my heart is as cold as the clouds of your breath, and my words are as timed as the beating in my chest.


i woke up this morning and i could hear the birds singing. the air smells like sunshine. the world has color again. i'm breathing a little easier. thinking a little clearer. spring is here, spring is here. and it's about time for a fresh start.

i'm living in weekends, and attempting to get by each passing week. honda civic tour is this up coming weekend! i can't believe it's finally here. getting more and more excited each day for it. trying to work everything out, and it's driving me crazy. but hopefully everything will be worth it.

i went to the movies with katie and brandon this past weekend. we saw prom night again because they are WHORES. then we went back to katie's house. woooooooh, had a great time. we went down into the forest and to the river and ended up at this beach type thing in hawaii. brandon humped this tree, VERY roughly. then it ended up raining and me and katie happening to be wearing white shirts. it was quite the adventure. glamour kills. gummy bears. threesomes in the photobooth. pizza cheese shooting out of katie's mouth. throwing stuffed animals down the stares. katie's feet having boobs. moshing. moshing. moshing. laughing and smiling REAL smiles. having a good time and not caring about the world. oh my goodness. what would i do without my katie to pick me up everytime i am down?










hello, my name is elizabeth robinson. i'm breathing, i'm feeling, i'm living. i exist. i mean something. i never felt so alone...but i've never felt so alive. i'm human. i'm making mistakes and i'm learning from them. i'm picking up the pieces of my life one by one. i'm trying to get my life under my own control again. it's not going to be easy and it's going to hurt, but i deserve it. everything will be worth it in the end.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17896782/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17896782/ Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:43:07 PDT
we stood like statues at the gate, vacation's come and gone too late. there's so much sun where I'm from...I had to give it away. I had to give you away...and hours pass, and she still counts the minutes that I am not there. I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this....like every inch of me is bruised. bruised.
...and don't fly fast. oh, pilot can you help me? can you make this last? this plane is all I got, so keep it steady, now....cause every inch you see is bruised.

my thoughts are so jumbled and confused and lost. which probably explains why only half of these words are my own. i'll let these songs in my head say the words that i can't seem to find.

i can't wait to get out of here. i can't wait for freedom. i feel so stuck...so grounded. i feel trapped in this town. i kinda hate it. i have the whole world in front of me, but i'm stuck in this one place.

today, i went to the movies with lindsay to see prom night. i love seeing her, because i hardly ever do. she says she doesn't want to date until college, and i have so much respect for her for that. she's a smart girl. i feel like i'm going to lose every friend i have because i'll annoy them to death by talking about him so much. xD he is all i think about, and it's driving me insane. but love for me was everything....I need the air i breathe.

but tonight, i could spin the stars on my fingernails...or i could fall in love with the moon. i could break like a bird....or i could swallow the sea. this is probably not making any sense, but i sure hope that it does. i can't wait for the summer. i can't wait for the long nights and the crazy times. so let's spend tonight on top of the world. i'm following the road to where you are...the streetlights will guide me to the stars.
soon, baby, soon.

i feel like i'm walking on clouds. i'm loving it for now, but they're just CLOUDS. they're so unstable, i could fall right through any second, and i'm scared of that....but for now, I want to enjoy it while i can.

but, as for today...i lace my chucks, i walk the aisle. i take my pills, the babies cry.

but I....I am finally waking up.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17721081/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17721081/ Sun, 06 Apr 2008 18:47:17 PDT
]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17673117/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17673117/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:02:11 PDT














i don't think i have enough self-control to put an end to it completely.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17668213/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17668213/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:02:29 PDT
oh, I hope that you're happy...i hear you're somewhere in the sand....
and I wish I was an ocean, maybe then, i'd get to see you again.


my spring break is over. i got back from amanda's today. oh goodness. i miss her. i smelled like her on the way home and it made me sad. ha. sooo much fun. i went to her place saturday morning. i met hans and virtually met steven. we had a hot, passionate threesome on the beach and learned to skateboard. "so the stoners live there...and the preps live there...and that's where my principal lives..." "with the stoners?!" hans being able to freaking UNICYCLE! "stop making me look like a vaginal cleaner!" me completely molesting amanda that night...and her loving it. us walking all the way to ethan's house and then wanting to wait on his doorstep all night because he wasn't home. amanda learning how to skateboard and sucking at it. trying on dresses. "HEY AMANDA!!" fat jokes. me getting a boner. me being bad luck and causing ben to get kicked in the face. sims. chocolate balls."are you sure?" "i'm HIV positive!" i can't even remember everything.

i'm so happy now. well, no, i take that back. it's so bittersweet. i wish i could be back there, on the shore. my heart is 200 or 300 or something miles away, and i miss you SO much. and i'm just so aflsdjfklasjdf right now. it's good, and it's bad. and i'm confused but i'm content because i'm alive.

all i want is to feel your lips on mine. i want to fall asleep next to you and...faldjfask. i've never felt this way before. and i LOVE it. and it's so weird and it's so wrong, but it's how i feel. and it's making me smile. YOU'RE making me smile and i am happy.


but i left my camera at amanda's, so no pictures for a while. the next time i see her it will be HONDA CIVIC TOUUURRRR! so until then, i'll have to deal with my old crappy camera.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17506928/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17506928/ Tue, 25 Mar 2008 10:02:49 PDT
why do I need anyone else, when I can break the sky myself?

got it over with, and i am the happiest i've been in a WHILE. huge weight has been lifted and i am free.




































i am single.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17506903/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17506903/ Tue, 25 Mar 2008 10:00:51 PDT i could let it get to me like it gets to you but i think i'll leave it in the past. you can't blame me for giving up so fast. new lies won't stop the crowd...it's just another thursday night. but i'm gonna grow out my hair, throw yesterday to the wind. i'm gonna move out west, leave this still life. new shoes on an old wood floor you're counting on the next ten minutes...gonna stop time, gonna get the girl...but this isn't television, kid. brown eyes in a white walled room. colorblind with a thing for music. you say "love" is your favorite word, but you never find the time to use it. scraped knees in some new old jeans...you bought 'em at a store downtown. they don't make you any younger, but you like how they feel on the skin that you hold so close...insecure, but you think no one else knows what it's like to want to live and die at the same time. new words on a plain white page. old songs on the radio. found love on friday night, to think you didn't want to go. touched lips on another's skin. small words in a big blue sky. i hated life before i found that song. now everything's alright.


the silence has been smashed. my mp3 came friday. i LOVE it. it's teeny tiny and it can do SO much more.

and also i got NEW CHUCKS! finally, right? i need to break them in and love em up. right now they are cleaner than my bootay.

annnddd...i got playradioplay!'s new album. LOVVEEEE it. dad got a new beatles cd which i plan to burn soon.


it is officially spring break. and so far it could not have been better. today is easter sunday. i woke up and watched the making of PRETTY. ODD. on fusseeee. i love my boys, omg. then, for lunch, i went to my...uncle who's related to me by marriage's mom's house...haha. don't know what you would call that. but it was pretty good. i mainly chilled out and layed(er, rolled around) in the grass and took pictures.

tomorrow i shall go get my bangs cut because gosh, i need it. then i will be going to the dentist(ewwwww.) then dance. then tuesday....just chilling out at home...then dance. then wednesday...at home again. then thursday...yep. you guessed it...home...then maybe dance. BUT THEN! going to the beeaccchhh thursday night. but gah. i hate long car rides at night. x.x i CANNOT sleep in a car...i just CAN'T. friday, i'm gonna try and get amanda to come and stay with me at my gma's so i don't completely die of boredom. we will spend 90% of our time at the beeaccchhh. we wanna go at NIGHT! cause the beach is awesssoommme at night. then find a way to get back to her house and hang out. we're gonna IM a certain person, play would you rather?(the board game version...supposedly TONS of fun), and simssss. oh, and did i mention? we're gonna rock out to PRETTY. ODD. which i am getting tuesday. i've heard some songs...and LOVE them. ryan's voice makes me MELT. not just saying that either.


la dee dah. so yeah...that's the plan for my spring break. right now i'm just taking life day to day. grabbing hold of every chance and experience to feel alive.

but I'm getting better at fighting the future. "someday you'll be fine.." yeah, I'll be just fine.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17351295/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17351295/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 17:36:30 PDT

so i'm sitting here drinking hot cocoa while it's storming outside. long time no update, eh? hmmm..what's been up with me? omg. a lot. welllllll...last weekend katie and i went to the park and met austin there afskfljsldfjahekissedme. haha. don't wanna talk about it. let's just say, i have bad aim. xD
and then last night i went to her house to take care of my baby. yes, i am the father of a child. emily brought hers too. but her's was a girl, sarah elizabeth. katie named her boy after paul. emily had to go because her parents are retarded, so she didn't spend the night. we watched eurotrip and played house and played a madagascar mini golf ps2 game thing then stayed up watching scrubs. i got maybe 4 hours of sleep. the baby was fine during the day, only cried every 3 or 4 hours or so...but it came freaking ALIVE at night. cried like, every hour. i was a good daddy though, i think. haha. did all i could to help out. minus falling asleep while katie had to feed it for like, an hour. xD


anywho. i'm being fucking FORCED to go fucking HIKING tomorrow with my family tomorrow. gaaahhhhhh. i HATE hiking. hate hate hate it. gah. taking my camera, aka, my only chance of survival.

butttttttttttttt....i bring good news. i finally got permission to GO TO WARPED TOUR THIS SUMMER!!!!!! omg. i can't wait. i don't care if you think the line-up sucks. i am going and i am so stoked about it. probably going with katie.


should be getting my mp3 player sometime this coming week. tuesday goodbye blues comes out. can't wait to hear it. same as texas, playradioplay!'s debut album. ^^


then next week...PRETTY. ODD. i am PRETTY. EXCITED. i honestly just can't wait. i'm so sick of freaking out and worrying whether or not i'll like it, i've heard clips, and of course i like nita, and from what i here, it's worth the wait and the freaking out.


and then spring break is the week after next. i can't believe how fast it came. gonna hang out with amanda at the BEACH. gosh, do you know how long it's been since i've been to the beach? minus charleston, that didn't count. xD i'm really just ready to say screw meeting certain people, i'm just gonna have a good time during spring break. psh, shit. i mean, really.


as for dA news, i have tons of pictures (most from charleston) to upload. i promise they will be up sometime within the near future, i just need TIME to do so.


i think that's it. i've been SO sleep-deprived lately. all i've been wanting is sleep. gonna go to bed earlyyy tonight.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17103331/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/17103331/ Thu, 28 Feb 2008 13:49:27 PST

charleston was awesome. lots of amazing experiences on that trip. stupid packet thing we had to fill out made it boring though. i have 399 pictures from it. 399 PICTURES!!! it's gonna take me FOREVER to edit and upload all of those. omg. I can't even remember everything that happened. I remember i barely got any sleep. haha. seriously?! SERIOUSLY! seeing porn on HBO at like, 1:00 at night. sami calling to tell us goodnight and that she loves us. sucking on huge lollipops. gun lasers. gangster chains. our chaperones tucking us in and singing us lullabies. fitting 4 people in one bed. dafne spooning chelsy in her sleep because she's dreaming of jonathan. summer singing along to songs FILLED with cuss words during game night when the teachers are RIGHT there. me, chelsy, and dafne getting attack by a duck. ty saying "FUCK" every five seconds cause it's his favorite word. about 100 something 8th graders running across the intersections of charleston all at once. getting the shit scared out of us during those stupid ghost tours and then all the guys being asses about it. ty being the cause of my anorexia. scary hobos.

me staying up on the phone until freaking 3:30 at night with nehemiah and his roomates and then having austin ask me out and me actually say yes and have a boyfriend now......wait....what?! yes. it shocked me too. baha.




like, i said, i have 399 pictures, so I will have a lot of new stuff uploaded soon.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16944839/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16944839/ Mon, 18 Feb 2008 11:43:18 PST the concrete canopy, mountains of symmetry
the city policy, the city air.
the burroughs I've seen seem so unfair, still the feathers on the sidewalk I find there.

I do not need to speak, but I wanna listen to the tiniest of flights in their transmissions.
the words tied to their wings.
well, they're the words I'm gonna sing.
the noise, small and strong....and a bird is a song.

torch the sails and set fire to our deals.
my heaven is here, my heaven is here.
who would need escape, who would seek salvation from a place so bright and clear?

I do not need to see but I need a vision.
a once seemless operation upon ignition.
the fuel that I sought away will keep us through the darkest of days, will keep us well through winter's long.
and when springtime starts to broadcast, birds are our song.



me and amanda are the biggest and WORSE stalkers ever. her spilling citrus vitamin water all over me and making me smell like mangos cause she's a BITCH. A.D.D. grocery shopping. getting movies out of the vending machine in harris teeter. cuddling while watching across the universe. heyyyyy judddeeeeeee. "JUDEH! JUDEH! JUDEH JUDEH JUDEEEEEEHHHH!". scary stories to tell in the dark. "WHAT DID I DO WITH THIS DAMN THING?!" looking ALL over books a million to find sex for dummies then kenly walking up to us as soon as we find the closest thing to it. that clown puppet. us getting yelled at in wet seal for taking pictures of us trying all on the sunglasses. the hippie store...ahhh, the HIPPIE STORE! me terrorizing the candy store and us getting free rock candy(ON STRINGS!) and these raspberry gummies because katie is the shit. urban dictionary. sex ed with lizzie. cinnamon sugar pretzels. hot guys in pac sun. the disney store. "YOUUUU!!!!!!!" can't wait to go get raped by hugging adam. can't wait to meet my boyfriend. laughing until our cheeks hurt. having a guy that makes you have a permanent smile. "to be kicked....by the boot." gah. i can't even remember everything.


I love amanda. i miss amanda. i can't wait until spring break.




I have tons of pictures to go through and edit. so updates will be soon.


buttttt, i will be gone from tomorrow morning to friday night because i will be in charleston for a school trip!!!! i am so stoked, i cannot wait.

right now all I care about is having a good time and living for the moment. my life is moving fast and so are the thoughts running through my head.


I would go into further detail, but i have to go pack my bags so i can get out of this town.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16864174/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16864174/ Wed, 13 Feb 2008 13:19:31 PST words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup...they slither while they pass...they slip away across the universe...
pools of sorrow....waves of joy are drifting thorough my open mind...possessing and caressing me

images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes that call me on and on across the universe....thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box....
they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe.

sounds of laughter....shades of life are ringing through my open ears...exciting and inviting me...
limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns...it calls me on and on across the universe....


I've been having serious moodswings lately, it's driving me mad. my mp3 is offically broken, i can no longer even listen to music, let alone see what i'm listening to. I think that may be why i'm going insane. and i know that's really stupid and dramatic, but it's true. i'm completely 100% dependent on music. and i'm not exaggerating at all, i really do spiral into this odd depression without it.


Butttttttttt, i found out today that amanda's coming into town this coming weekend. ^^ can't wait to see her. omg. and we're both planning spring break(*cough*meetingcertainpeople*cough*)...and i'm still freaking out about HCT.

and next week is charlessttoooon. i honestly cannot wait. it's gonna be awesome. TONS of pictures coming from that.

other than that, I recently saw across the universe. it's by far my new favorite movie, and latest obsession. xD i've been listening to the delux soundtrack on repeat for the past 2 days. and i'm now determined to marry either an artist or a musician. baha.


annndddd, valentine's day is tomorrow. it's a really retarded and pointless holiday, but whatever. my valentines are amanda, kenly, katie and emily and i could not have asked for any better lovesssss. not even a love with a dick, hahaha.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16729187/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16729187/ Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:05:04 PST
]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16728989/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16728989/ Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:53:00 PST
my mp3 player is officially dead and GONE. RIP. D: and i probably wouldn't be able to get another one until later this month. which means i have to endure a few amount of days in silence. how am i gonna live? i honestly don't know. x.x thank God for the internet and napster and the computer.

my phone is ALSO broken. the screen is all white and cracked. but on the inside, not outside...yeah, it's weird shit. but i doubt my parents will get me a new phone AND mp3 so i'll have to get a cheap ass temporary phone until i can get another upgrade thing. ugh. it sucks.

and i know i sound like a spoiled ungrateful little materialistic bitch, but honestly, that's half the reason why i'm not getting a new phone and mp3 player when i want it. i AM an ungrateful little materialistic bitch. x.x it's pathetic and i need to work on it. i know. but i just...i really want to be able to have total control of my life and i want to be able to do what i want when and how i want to and i want to get what i want when i want it. I sometimes HATE being dependent on other people. but i am just a kid, and i can't have that...I have to constantly remind myself that i'm only 14. I'm closer to 10 then i am 20 and sometimes, that shocks me. I need to just chill out and be happy with what i have right now. Dx





anywayssss...since i'm sick, i'm just chilling at home this weekend. which just equals a livejournal edit to me. i'm just sitting here in my little corner of sickness getting germs all over the keyboard and mouse. xD no one wants to use the computer now though, not until my mom drowns it in lysol.


my knee's still fucked up. i hate it. in dance i can't do anything, i feel so grounded. i love leaping and turning and those are the two things i CANNOT do! it sucks. i want to get better soon. x.x

so yeah....just kinda being lazy and doing nothing. i kinda hate it. blleeehhhh.







p.s. my mood is just that because apparently dA doesn't have a "blah" or "sick" mood. x.x

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16646995/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16646995/ Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:26:15 PST feeling as good as lovers can, you know....
well, now we're feeling so good...

into a place, where thoughts can bloom....
into a room where it's nine in the afternoon.
now we're feeling so good...into a place where thoughts can bloom...can you feel it too?
'cause it's nine in the afternoon.

back to the street...down to our feet....losing the feeling of feeling unique...do you know what I mean?

back to the place...where we used to say..."man it feels good to feel this way..."
now I know what I mean...

back to the street, back to the place, back to the room where it all began.
back to the street, back to the place, back to the room where it all began.
where it's nine in the afternoon...

your eyes are the size of the moon....you could 'cause you can so you do...
we're feeling so good...just the way that we do....when's it's nine in the afternoon.






I've been up and down a lot lately. I don't know why because i should really be happy. it's just...i'm pretty stressed and just aaahhhhhh! aflsdjfkasjfa falasdjfa fdalsdf asdfjla lately. x.x

i've come to the theory that my life is like a dark tunnel, and i'm the light...the life. and the light is moving constantly. and the light is so strong you can see where you've been although sometimes you may stray so far away that the light that was once there has dimmed or burned out completely. but as the light keeps moving, you can see farther ahead. i can actually SEE my future now. and i'm excited about it. i've got big, big plans and i'm gonna make the most of them.

I've also been busy lately with lots of stuff.

ugh, school. we got our report cards today. i got four A's and 2 B's. but now the 3rd quarter is always the hardest as i've learn from in the past. since we're reviewing and trying to cram the rest of the shit we haven't learned yet for exams at the end of the year. and also, teachers just expect more out of us. x.x

my love life is just hopeless. well, no, i take that back. there is some hope. a tiny bit. but i have to reach out and work for it. but what else is new? -.-

in other news....HONDA CIVIC TOUR IS HAPPENING! it's FER SURE now! my mom got the tickets today. amanda is DEFINITELY going this time. watch out. it's gonna be INSANE. she's gonna come down, spend that friday at my place then we leave saturday with my dad to go to atlantaaaahhhh. we check into the hotel and mess around the city and explore a bit. and then OFF TO SEE OUR BOOYYYSSS!!!!! <333 haha, at least that's the plan for now. omfg. i can't wait. it's definitely gonna be the highlight of my year most likely. ^^



and OMFG. ASLKDJFASKLJDFKSADJF WOAH. NO WAY:
[link]
i seriously teared up while watching that. i'm going to be a crying MESS if i ever see the actual documentary. WHICH I DEFINITELY AM! i told my dad about it...he seems just as interested in me. xD can't wait for it to release.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16551039/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16551039/ Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:41:36 PST




the world we live in is such a peculiar place. the galaxy. the stars. the universe is even stranger. how can we possibly live in a place we don't understand?

from here on out, the glass is half full. everything is golden in my eyes. like these early winter sunsets. golden and filled with light through the windows. the summer is coming, just wait and sit tight. so much more is coming, i can feel it. there's more out there for me. plenty to look forward to. i just keep reminding myself of them. honda civic tour. panic's new album. jack's mannequin's new album. the hush sound's new album.(GAH! fuck it! LOTS of albums to look forward to. xD) across the universe coming out on dvd(stupid thing to look forward to, but i really cannot wait. haha.). charleston. spring break. summer. high school(yikes!). lifelifelife.

people are stupid, don't listen to them. those that judge you aren't worth your time. they don't know you. the people you love, those people know you. they're the only ones worth my time, worth anything. they'll keep the glass half full. make me smile when i feel like giving up.

wake up in the morning and tell yourself everything's gonna be fine. live it. not live THROUGH it, but live it. everyday's a new day, and you only have 100 years to live.


we spent 4 days at your family's old hotel. sometimes perfection, can be perfect hell.

can we take a ride? get out of this place while we still have time...

she smiled in a big way, the way a girl like that smiles when the world is hers...and she held your eyes out in the breezeway down by the shore in the lazy summer. she looked deep into you as you lay together quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer.


i miss it. sometimes, i love global warming. i'd love it to be summer all the time. i can't wait til spring break. i need the ocean...the sand...the sun...the beach....the summer...the freedom.


i got those film pictures from snapfish. they were mainly of the beach, so that pretty much explains my sudden craving for the seaside.


I didn't have internet connection for the past 2 days. x.x don't ask me why cause i have no idea, the company thing screwed up or something. so tonight, i'm updating everything that needs to be updated.


I got checked out super early from school today to go to the friggin doctor for my knee because i hurt it by landing wrong during dance tuesday night. nothing's wrong, some muscle/tendon/joint is just weak or something and i have to do excersises and wear a little sleeve thing or whatever. x.O




in other amazing news, HONDA CIVIC DATES HAVE BEEN POSTED!



but guess what? they aren't coming to north carolina dammit.

so I'm going to the one in myrtle beach, south carolina on april 29th. i'm hoping my best friend(should i even bother putting an s at the end of it? or would that be asking too much?) can be able to come.

but yeah, i AM going NO MATTER WHAT. I REFUSE TO MISS THIS SHOW. haha. it's like, 3 of my main favorite all time bands are playing at once.

but you know what i hate? they have freaking 3 shows for FLORIDA! but NONE for NC! WE'RE BIGGER THAN FLORIDA!

but whatever. still looking forward to it.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16465461/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16465461/ Fri, 18 Jan 2008 20:02:05 PST stay at home alone on a Friday...flat on my floor looking back on old love, or lack thereof.
after all the crushes have faded and all my wishful thinking was wrong, I'm jaded. I hate it.

I'm tired of being alone...so hurry up and get here.

searching all my days just to find you...not sure who I'm looking for.
I'll know it when I see you...
till then, I'll hide in my bedroom....just staying up all night just to write a love song for no one.





hi. just thought i'd update really quick.

katie had a party last weekend. TONS of fun. check out my lj soon for pictures. [link]

and also, my friend kenly might come over this weekend. stoked about that cause i haven't seen her in FOREVER.


midterms were today and we'll have two more wednesday because it actually snowed yesterday. I slept through half of it, haha. and i woke up and had hot cocoa for breakfast while watching fuse with the fireplace on. it was niceee. so i was just chilling out, reading, watching tv. i'm gonna try and pick up some guitar later this weekend.

I've been listening to bands like the beatles and marcy playground. the beatles are my new love. my dad let me burn 3 cds.


I'm getting ready for charleston. we picked roomates wednesday, i'm rooming with summer, daphne, and chelsy. so i'm getting pumped about that. ^^



annddd, i have some film shots from snapfish coming soon. most of them are from over the SUMMER. haha, they're worth it though. i'm happy with how some of them came out.


other than that, i've been sleep-deprived like nothing else, watching my 8th grade year just zoom by but still kinda enjoying it, just hanging out and living. getting through everyday.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16272054/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16272054/ Sat, 05 Jan 2008 14:46:16 PST I’ve got a lotta things to do tonight...I’m so sick of making lists of things I’ll never finish....
I’ve lived here for the last 12 years...since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes.
but if I had a little more time to kill, I’d settle every little stupid thing...yeah you’d think that I would

but I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight and I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
for the first time in a long time I can say that I want to try to get better and overcome each moment in my own way

I wonder if I’ll ever lose my mind...I tried hard for awhile but then I kinda gave up.
winter is a killer when the sun goes down...
"I’m really not as stubborn as I seem," said the knuckle to the concrete.

I’m not saying that I’m giving up...I’m just trying not to think as much as I used to.
cause "never" is a lonely little messed up word...
maybe I’ll get it right some day.
for the first time in a long time I can say that I want to try.
I feel helpless for the most part, but I’m learning to open my eyes.
and the sad truth of the matter is, I’ll never get over it...but I’m gonna try to get better and overcome each moment in my own way.

I so want to get back on track and I’ll do whatever it takes...even if it kills me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! haha, this is old, i know.

i spent the night with katie. we chilled, myspaced it(FER SURE! xD), moshed, took a few pictures, ate taco belllllll, stalked hot guys, GOT stalked by a hot guy, watched the history of sex on the history channel(those horny medieval bastards!), and just hung out. you know...the usual.

it's 2008, wow. it still feels no different from 2007 to me.

but oh my God, 2007 was just a giant revolution for me. i have changed SO much since the beginning of the year and for the good. I am so happy with who i've became and how i've been living my life.

and of course there's room for improvement...which is where 2008 comes in. ;D my resolutions are just to be happy and be myself and be nicer to my family and lose a few pounds while i'm at it, haha.

I am currently stoked on: the charleston trip RIGHT around the corner, spring break with amanda(HOPEFULLY), and the new panic! cd(i'm FREAKING out like crazy).

But yeah...recently i've just been working on the whole social thing. hanging out with good friends and having a good time. it's been cool and i've been content.

the only problem is my love life. i'm sick of feeling flattered, i want to feel butterflies.

I also recently saw sweeney todd. it's serious as good as people say it is. i loved it. ^^

annnddd, i got the jack's mannequin album. hahahaha, i know, it's REALLY late, but better late then never. i already knew all the songs word by word, but my dad convinced to get it cause he wanted it to. xD and while i was in fye, i got the latest edition of alternative press with jack's mannequin on the cover. oooohhh, i love irony.

and as a late christmas present(sorta) i got a new camera. because my old one's flash broke. it's a canon powershot a720. and it has SO many more features then my old sd550. it's more professional, and it's gonna hold me over until i can get my rebel (hopefully) later this year.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16094240/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/16094240/ Tue, 25 Dec 2007 13:36:03 PST christmas morning, outside was pouring, all was hopeless in this home.

merry christmas and all that jazz and stuff.


haha, hope you all got what you wanted.


I know i did. i got 90% of the stuff on my list. ^^

i got:

an ugly doll(ICEBAT!)
scary stories to tell in the dark complete box set
glamour kills shirt
johnny cupcakes shirt
clandestine shirt
paramore shirt(that's WAY too big! x.x)
cobra starship hoodie(again, TOO big!)
to write love on her arms shirt
fall out boy pajama pants(that double as sweat pants )
fred flare rainbow heart necklace and camera ring
aviators also from fred flare
the hush sound's cd, like vines. (i didn't even ask for it, santa must know i LOVE the hush sound ;D)
john mayer's cd, continuum.
moonneeyyyy(going to the mall this weekend, hopefully, haha)

and i think that's it...I didn't get anything big because the only thing i want that's big is a canon digital rebel slr....and it's $500, JUST FOR THE BODY. sooooo, me and my parents agreed that i could get all of these things and then just wait about a year to get it.


buuttttttttt as an added unexpected bonus, i got my brothers old(but it's in new condition) acoustic. cause he got a new electric guitar.

i just need to learn how to play, haha.



annndddd, my brother's letting me mess with his video camera. i'm gonna try and figure out how to get videos on the computer and maybe i'll add stuff to my youtube...? yeah, that'd be sweet. haha.



so yes, i am a happy camper right now. tired, but happy.



happy holidays.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15942588/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15942588/ Sat, 15 Dec 2007 09:48:13 PST ....it crashes through the windows.

and there's this burning...like there's always been....
I never been so alone...and I've never been so alive.

careening through the universe....
your axis on a tilt, you're guiltless and free....
I hope you take a piece of me with you.

I go home to the coast...it starts to rain I paddle out on the water. alone.
taste the salt and taste the pain...
I'm not thinking of you again.
summer dies and swells rise....the sun goes down in my eyes.
see this rolling wave darkly coming to take me home...
and I've never been so alone...and I've never been so alive.











i want my photography to prove that life is beautiful.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15695818/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15695818/ Tue, 27 Nov 2007 15:51:51 PST

annnnnnnnddddddddddd also, my family and I are going to get a chirstmas tree this weekend, and we're going to the mountains like we did last year. so for me it's just one huge photo-op.


and I'm getting ready for christmas. I'm.....getting there. I'm just not in the spirit right now. the weather's got me down. I need to just throw on my favorite hoodie and cuddle up next to a fire and sip hot chocolate and watch my favorite movie or tv show or something. hehe.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15637066/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15637066/ Fri, 23 Nov 2007 14:49:52 PST there's every good reason for letting you go...she's sneaky and smoked out and it's starting to show....
I never let you go...
you say that I changed...well maybe I did.
but even if I changed...what's wrong with it?

I remember the stupid things...the mood rings, the bracelets and the beads... nickels and dimes, yours and mine...
did you cash in all your dreams?
you don't dream for me no, you don't dream for me no...
but I still feel you pulsing like sonar from the days in the waves...
that girl is like a sunburn I would like to save...she's like a sunburn.


that songs been stuck in my head lately. x.x






"I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive...so I'm gonna start over tonight."

those are my new words to live by.

I've got my life figured out...I'm gonna grab my life and just GO. everything i do right now is gonna add up to my future, I'm ready for that. I know what I want and I'm not gonna stop until I get that. I want to be happy. I'm going to do everything in my power to just be HAPPY. I'm getting closer and closer everyday...it's just getting better and better, i'm stronger and stronger. I've gone for too long being miserable and depressed. I've gone for too long caring about everyone else and what they think about me. I've gone for too long changing myself because of trends or to fit in or whatever.
I'm done.
I just wanna be happy.


photography wise...I've been all about the details. it's just the little things. I've been taking pictures of everything. every feeling...everything. I have a new fear of forgetting and a new addiction to nostalgia.


thanksgiving's over...which means fall's pretty much over in my book. my birthday is tomorrow. I'm gonna get together with amanda, lindsay, and kenly and we're GONNA have a good time, haha. no matter what. I'll be 14! omg, I'm gonna be driving soon, that's a scary thought...but yeah, then i'm gonna get ready for christmasssssss. it's hard for me to get into it right now. I'm still stuck in fall. but I'll get there.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15497994/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15497994/ Tue, 13 Nov 2007 18:31:24 PST after school....walking home....fresh dirt under my fingernails...and I can smell hot asphalt....cars screech to a halt to let me pass....and I cannot remember...what life was like through photographs.
trying to recreate images life gives us from our past.

and sometimes it's a sad song....

the rhythm of her conversation....the perfection of her creation....the sex she slipped into my coffee...the way she felt when she first saw me....hate to love and love to hate her....like a broken record player....back and forth and here and gone....and on and on and on and on....

but I cannot forget...refuse to regret.
so glad I met you...take my breath away...
make everyday worth all of the pain that I have gone through and mama I've been cryin' cause things ain't how they used to be...she said the battles almost won and we're only several miles from the sun.

tap on my window, knock on my door....I want to make you feel beautiful.
I know I tend to get so insecure....it doesn't matter anymore. it's not always rainbows and butterflies....it's compromise that moves us along.



the sky was gold, it was rose....I was taking sips of it through my nose. and I wish I could get back there, someplace back there...smiling in the pictures you would take...
doing crystal myth, will lift you up until you break...
it won't stop, I won't come down...
I keep stock with the tick-tock rhythm, I bump for the drop.
the velvet it rips in the city...we tripped on the urge to feel alive.
I want something else, to get me through this semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby.





on a night like this....I could fall in love....
I could fall in love with you.
in this dark so dense....we talk so soft.
the way young lovers do...
the days last sight turns to cool nights breeze...and this love hangs thick like these willow leaves.

greensboro whores. chick-fil-a marshmellow mints. erica being a "slut" and katie and her boys. texting. carrie's jerk boyfriend drama. scary the shit out of ourselves by talking about our fears. UFOs. CNN. chelsea screaming when ET came on the tv and making me and erica jump like, 7 feet in the air. "GOSH DANG!" "JAY KAY!" mama J's dancing stars because twinkle toes was taken. "THEY'RE REAL!" waking up at 6:30 in order to beat a whole bunch of college band geeks from maryland in order to get CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST! orange orange vitamen water. carrie popping aleeve like CRAZY. being too pretty to eat at subway. SPEAKING OF PANDAS.... waiting a freaking hour in order to get dinner at logan's. making a mess with the peanuts. madison stomping on them for no reason other than she's bored. katie "flirting" with the waiter. bugging the crap out of that same waiter and being sure we tipped him good. chelsea drowning her salad in honey mustard. attacking the bread cause it was gooooood. mrs. jenny feeling guilty about us not going to the banquet. but that's ok, we didn't want to go and have to act all "proper" when we could just have fun ourselves and throw peanuts at each other while burping obnoxiously(chelsea is SO lady like). tallies. "DO NOT GO IN THE BATHROOM!" singing along to disney songs in the car. fall cupcakes for katie's birthday. erica and katie making a good "pear". cheesy jokes. hot tub. katie, carrie, and erica swimming with clothes on while chelsea meditated in a dark corner with her emo music. that one instructer being from step up and us being too chicken to take a picture with her. me getting new earrings. carrie getting overpriced glitter. katie getting leopard print foot thongs. "I'M SURROUNDED BY LEOTARDS" mrs. jenny's new move. not understanding the european ballet instuctor. screaming girls in musical theater when we're all about to fall over cause it's the last class. chelsea sleeping on the speaker and not being able to hear the movie. chelsea taking off her pants in the car. DANCERS GONE WILD! "my new million dollar idea...but wait, isn't that one dude in jail? oops...nevermind then." music and lyrics. 2 days. 14 total hours of dance. 469853546748765456 giggles. 5 girls. sounds like a dance weekend to me.




sorry about the billion different song lyrics at the beginning. I gave my mp3 a makeover and I fell in love with ALL those songs. ^^ that last one is one they played this weekend and we did a lyrical dance to it, and it was just GORGEOUS. omg.



anyways...i can't believe fall is almost over! my birthday is NEXT WEEK! and then it's pretty much WINTER! omg. it's insane. where did the time go!?!?!? and this whole time change thing is reallyyyyy depressing me. it gets dark at freaking 5:30. but it's kinda cool cause i get to see the sun set every day.


amanda's coming down for thanksgiving. get stoked. ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15433562/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15433562/ Fri, 09 Nov 2007 11:52:06 PST
I'm going to this dance convention thing in greensboro.

it's kinda hard to explain. pretty much a bunch of studios come and take classes and stuff and then compete, but we're not competing.


it's fun. it should be even MORE fun this year though cause we're staying at a hotel. haha, sleepover slumber partttyy!

hahaha. um, so yeah...I'll be back sunday night.


I have a whole series to update on monday if I don't update it within the next few minutes or sunday night. it's from halloween.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15424448/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15424448/ Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:54:33 PST
you know what i mean? just....crazycrazycrazy. busybusybusy.

but you know what?





























......i can't say i don't like it.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15394978/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15394978/ Tue, 06 Nov 2007 16:40:03 PST if it makes you less sad....I'll move out of the state.
you can keep to yourself....I'll keep out of your way.
and if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down...
every picture you paint....I will paint myself out.
it's as cold as a tomb and it's dark in your room....
when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds.
so call it quits or get a grip.
say you wanted a solution.....you just wanted to be missed.

call me a safe bet....I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive....
I'm only hoping as time goes....you can forget.

you are calm and reposed....let your beauty unfold.....
pale white like the skin stretched over your bones....
spring keeps you ever close....
you are second hand smoke.
you are so fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins.
holding onto yourself the best you can....
you are the smell before the rain....
you are the blood in my veins.


the following is from my livejournal, so it's probably gonna seem more like a diary entry. this is what's going on in my head right now:

halloweeeen. haha, that's all i really have to say. I didn't do much. I just stayed home with my brother, his girlfriend, and my sister. I was a pirate. I DID see the nightmare before christmas. I also watched sleepy hallow. and yeah...that's about it. not too interesting. pictures of my costume coming later probably.


buuutttt I don't have pictures from the wild things tour. cause they were all like "NO CAMERAS!" and then like 5454756425675654 people had cameras! I was like "I COULD'VE SNUCK MINE IN!" I was pissed. D: but the show WAS amazing. travis mccoy is the shit and THEN some. i love that kid. I managed to not commit suicide during "hey there deliah" I even sung along. annnndddd I GOT A T-SHIRT! dirty died, so I didn't get to see him. haha, just kidding! but he seriously wasn't there. BUT I GOT A CLOSE UP PICTURE OF THE FAT BLUE GUY FROM GCH ON MY PHONE! and that one dude, but I don't know his name...I have like a billion videos on my phone. I would've gotten more but it died. and I got home at 2:20 am. but it was actually 3:20 am cause of the stupid time change.

and I had an epiphany while there. thanks to mr. pete wentz. I realized that it's not something to do on at saturday night, it's not a t-shirt. it's not about being "scene" or whatever. it's not about getting into the after party because you know the band. it's not about fitting in into some tiny box that society continues to try and make for you. it's about the music and how it makes you feel. it's about finding yourself and putting yourself out there and living your life the way you want to.

reminds me of my favorite quote EVER:
"If for one minute you think you're better than a sixteen year old girl in a Green Day t-shirt, you are sorely mistaken. Remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favorite band. You wore their shirt, and sang every word. You didn't know anything about scene politics, haircuts, or what was cool. All you knew was that this music made you feel different from anyone you shared a locker with. Someone finally understood you. This is what music is about." - Gerard Way


and honestly, that's all that ever matters every time I go to a show. I don't care that I'm sweating like crazy and that my hair looks like shit. I don't care that I'm standing up jumping up and down by myself because my friends parents wouldn't let them come. I don't care that I'm screaming the lyrics, my voice cracking and sounding like claws on a chalkboard. i just came to listen to the music. to see the faces of the voices on my mp3. to just completely let go and have a good time. nothing else matters to me right then. I DO feel like someone understands me...finally. I feel like i BELONG somewhere. I don't have to mold myself in order to fit, I actually FIT IN there, just how I am. I feel like concerts are the only places where I can actually be MYSELF for once. I don't have to pretend for anybody.













woah. that was long, sorry.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15290865/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15290865/ Tue, 30 Oct 2007 17:40:41 PDT
]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15255692/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15255692/ Sun, 28 Oct 2007 10:04:46 PDT it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive.
so live for the moment, and take this advice, live by every word....
love's completely real, so forget anything that you've heard...
and live for the moment now.




it's everywhere. it's happening everyday. deathdeathdeath. suicide. cancer. murder. whatever the reason...people are disappearing off this earth as I type. it's a sad and scary thing to think about....but it's true.

my grandmother, carole jordan stutts, died tuesday night. cancer. she was sick, extremely sick. it just got worse and worse until it just was too much. but it's ok, cause now she isn't sick anymore. she's not hurting anymore. she's out of this shithole.

I find if funny though, cause we're in a drought...it hasn't rained practically all summer. and it JUST started raining tuesday night, the night she died...and it's been raining since then. it's just...ironic, you know?






anyways...in other news: I started a panic! at the disco fanfiction. be looking out for that soon.

and yes, I think I'm over him. I'm started to realize that he's JUST not worth it.

and I have no idea if I'm doing ANYTHING for halloween. I doubt my friends are coming over. the only thing I have planned this weekend is watching TONS of movies. I think I'm going to see across the universe monday I think. but yeah, that's about it. the wild things tour is next weekend. I'm probably just gonna go with my family unless I can get my friend, sarah, to come. =/


and also. do any of you read the post-secret books? I love them. I've been obsessed with them lately. I want one of the books for my birthday.
[link]
it's insane. someone said "You will find your answers in the secrets of strangers." SO true. it's just...so awesome to read them.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15132171/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15132171/ Fri, 19 Oct 2007 16:48:32 PDT FUCK.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15044270/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/15044270/ Sat, 13 Oct 2007 13:12:11 PDT hello there, how you doin'?
I've got all these thoughts just floating through my brain...
they bump and they collide and cause a flurry of confusion and it's getting on my nerves.
I try to hold myself together, fighting off this mental weather when I can...(sometimes I do)
but this shitstorm's never ending, and the atmospheric pressure's calling for rain...


Sorry, I just...i don't know. I was listening to motion city soundtrack and I heard this and was just like: "wow. that's EXACTLY how I feel right now."


um, I wish I could say I'm not submitting much because I'm out of inspiration. the truth is, I have a LOT of inspiration and TONS of ideas...but it just need to get off my ass and go outside and take pictures. actually, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea. I may go and do that later today or tomorrow. AND I promise that if I do, I'll bring my sister or someone to come with me so I'm not the only model. and since halloween's coming up, I want to go to a pumpkin patch and take pictures. cause like, we're in a drought so the sky has been NOTHING but blue. it's really pretty.

and I think I'm gonna bring my camera to school and take pictures during my yearbook period. maybe. if i can. we'll see.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14974707/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14974707/ Mon, 08 Oct 2007 17:15:39 PDT Those words, at best, were worst than teenage poetry...
fragment ideas and too many pronouns
stop it, come on...
you’re not making sense now.
you can't make them want you...they're all just laughing.


stop it, come on,
you know I can’t help it...
I got the mic and you got the mosh pit.
what will it take to make you admit that you were wrong?
was his demise so carefully constructed?
well let's just say I got what I wanted...
cause in the end it’s always the same...

literate and stylish...kissable and quiet...
Well that's what girls dreams are made of.

this is me with the words on the tip of my tongue and my eye through the scope down the barrel of a gun.
remind me not to ever act this way again...
this is you trying hard to make sure that you're seen with a girl on your arm and your heart on your sleeve.
Remind me not to ever think of you again.









I love it how everything can be going SO great one minute and then BAM! everything falls to pieces. it just....sucks. i wish i wasn't so....so...fragile. so human. damn humans. they care too much. I care too much.

but whatever...I quit caring hours ago. I give up.



amanda...you better be able to go to fall out boy. that's all i'm saying.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14930747/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14930747/ Fri, 05 Oct 2007 17:55:10 PDT [link]

please take 2 minutes and 44 seconds to watch that video. i love it, omg.

it's just one of the most beautiful videos i've seen in a long time.

now THIS sums up my summer. minus the whole gah gah lovey dovey thing. but just the whole feel of the video sums up my summer...you know? eh, probably not. xD
but anyways, watch it. it's a great song that I've loved for a while and they just got the video out and I just HAD to share it...it's soo pretty.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14928457/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14928457/ Fri, 05 Oct 2007 14:52:31 PDT It's just a matter of time until we're all found out...
take our tears, put them on ice...
cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light.
there's a drug in the thermostat to warm the room up and there's another around to help us bend your trust...
I've got a sunset in my veins and I need to take a pill to make this town feel okay.
the best part of "Believe" is the "Lie", I hope you sing along and you steal a line...
I need to keep you like this in my mind, so give in or just give up.






my social life is at an utimate high. i love my friends. i have fun at school...for the most part.

november 3rd. me. lindsay. amanda. fall out boy. cute is what we aim for. gym class heroes. plain white tees. atlanta. need i say more? I'm sensing an awesome weekend right there.

my love life on the other hand......erg. I don't know anymore. I don't care anymore. confusion confusion confusion. he doesn't like me. he likes her. get over it. or give it time. just for now, forget it.


my school life? keeps me busy. i'm actually putting off my science homework right now.


I also got a new cell phone. strawberry chocolate. i love it. <333 it's soo awesome and it's the perfect color, it's really not as pink as i thought it would be, which is good. it's just perfect.


yearbook has been pretty good actually. I'm improving for the most part. or at least, I've been trying to. we're getting hoodies and sweatpants and shirts soon, hopefully. soooooo legit.


in somewhat more depressing news: she's dying. i can see it. everyone can see it. everyone knows it. she said: "i want to go home..." I hate seeing her like that. but it kinda makes me realize how self-centered i am. there are people dying...people dying right in front of me, and all I can think about is how my hair looks or other stupid things like that. it's pathetic. really.


in artistic news: i know i haven't really updated lately...i've been kinda having photographer's block and lack of time. but with fall and halloween and everything, i think i'll find something to take pictures of. i love halloween...odd colorful leaves, pumpkins with funny faces, vampires, pirates, zombies, witches, werewolves, etc. etc. etc. it's just soooo much...fun. everything's just kinda weird and different. i like it.

that's pretty much everything that's been up with me. my head's kinda been a crazy place right now. just so many things. so many thoughts. so many emotions.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14702135/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14702135/ Wed, 19 Sep 2007 14:18:57 PDT

Do I have to spell it out for you, or scream it in your face?
Oh, the chemistry between us could destroy this place.
Do I have to spell it out for you, or whisper in your ear?
Oh, just stop right there...I think that we've got something here.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14622552/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14622552/ Thu, 13 Sep 2007 19:31:09 PDT ....you grew up and you sparkled but why don't you care?

And what did I do that you can't seem to want me?
Why do we lie here and whisper goodbyes?
Where can I go that your pictures won't haunt me?
What makes it so easy for you to be walking by?








ok, so...I MADE PHOTOGRAPHER IN YEARBOOOOOOK!

which means I get to use the big fancy $1500 SLR camera. WOOT!!!!!

hahahaha, that thing is awesome. and only 4 people are chosen to be the photographers, and we had to take a test in order to see if we can be one, and I apparently was one of the four that got the highest score.

and so my photography teacher was like "can you take pictures of the football game today?" and I was like "sureee.." and so i did.

haha, I had no idea what I was doing. it was a 7th grade game, and apparently, the 7th grade team sucks, like, seriously. haha, can't wait to shoot an 8th grade game. amanda probably knows the REAL reason. (and even though she DOES, she should keep her mouth shut! )

anyways, so yeah, it was pretty cool. I got into the game for free and got to walk around anywhere I really wanted. I stayed mainly on the sidelines of the field, pretty up close and personal. my old photography teacher was there, and I was reallyyy happy about that, he was taking pictures for his new business and he said he'd probably be at every game, so it's cool.

my teacher said that I needed to learn about all the sports that I'm gonna be taking pictures of, cause I'm like, mentally challenged in the sports department.

haha, but I did learn a lot. especially about photography. I seriously think that this is gonna allow me to improve, like, majorly. I can't wait, I'm so excited.

So far this year has been great. I'm actually really happy with my life (my life at school, that is) for once. I haven't really felt this way since 5th grade, it's really nice.




EDIT: Does anyone else see my icon as an 'x'? I changed it, but that was halfway cause my old one was bugging me, I like this one better. But yeah, is that just my computer? or a dA error?

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14551726/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14551726/ Sat, 08 Sep 2007 20:40:35 PDT

come on, you could change me...you could steal me. you could turn all the lights on and show me the real me. then maybe, if I'm lucky, you'll offer me protection. you could even heal me....just meet me at my window. <3









livejournal: [link]
flickr: [link]

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14531005/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14531005/ Fri, 07 Sep 2007 13:41:44 PDT
Special thanks goes to these people who have been verrrryyyy supportive of my work:





thank you all.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14477366/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14477366/ Mon, 03 Sep 2007 18:56:44 PDT






someone get me excited about halloween/fall, like, now.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14439199/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14439199/ Sat, 01 Sep 2007 10:14:17 PDT ....Not the kind with wings,
No, not the kind with halos,
The kind that bring you home,
When home becomes a strange place.
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.






First week of school went ok. A hell of a lot better than last year's first week of school, so that's a good thing.

I found out that yearbook is probably going to be both the most stressful and annoying thing I do this year, but also the most fun and productive thing.

I ALSO found out that I can access the site in which we make the yearbook on and where all the pictures and stuff are kept, from home, sooo that means I can save them to my computer and upload here so you guys can see the pictures too. ^^

And um, yeah. That's about it, I think. I have a few ideas for some self portrait shoots, so hopefully I'll find time to work on that.




CHECK OUT MY LIVE JOURNAL: [link]
Flickr: [link]

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14383880/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14383880/ Tue, 28 Aug 2007 16:54:42 PDT ....tell me that you're alone, tell me on the telephone.
Feel your heart, it breaks within your chest now. Try to get some rest now, sleep's not coming easy for a while.....

haha, I typed that by heart. that song is so fucking amazing, oh my God. the lyrics are just....wow. perfect. something corporate =




anyways, now to the actual POINT of this journal: school. ew. um, yeah, so it went ok, could've been worse. but it's still school. know what I mean? I'm not going to be happy no matter how good it goes. D:

but yeah, for the most part I've met some new people, it's been pretty good, actually. a lot more comfortable then last year. last year I was just reallllyyyyy shy and self-conscience and stuff and like, this year it's just....comfortable. haha, there's no other word for it. it's just cool; being the oldest grade in the school. kinda fun.

and also, I'm verrrryyyyy happy to say that 8th graders are a LOT more mature than the 7th graders were! I'm soooooo happy to see my peers actually GREW-UP this summer!!!! It's amazing! stupid 7th graders.....I never liked them, not even when I WAS one.

so yeah, yearbook's fun, mrs. zywiec(new photography teacher who was my old english teacher last year) has NO experience what so ever with photography/yearbook and she knows that. haha. we're like "don't worry, we'll teach you...."

My teachers are ok I guess. They all have their flaws, but I can live with them....

really, the only thing I HATE about this year is lunch. it's sooo stupid, we have to sit with our class and the class I have lunch with is the ONE class where I have like, NO friends. x.x

BUTTTT on friday, we get to sit where ever we want, as long as it's with our team. so that's cool, right? haha, but friday seems like it's forever away....




Anyways, in OTHER news, I now have a wishlist on deviantart for all those awesome prints that I would LOVE to have hanging up in my room. haha.




And also, I've been working here and there on my photography. kinda got back into self-portraits, I sorta got out of them over this summer cause I was working on like landscape stuff and stuff. haha. but yeah, I'm continuing to work on photography, yearbook should be a great experience for me because I get to spend a period EVERY day doing nothing but taking and editing pictures and stuff. so yeah....I think I need to stop writing this journal before it ends up looking more like a novel.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14255410/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14255410/ Mon, 20 Aug 2007 11:57:37 PDT
I am soooo happy to say that I actually got some great shots, I'm really proud of my digital camera right now.

I did get some film pictures, but I'll have to get them developed before I can see if they're any good or not....

So just give me a few days to edit them and stuff then I'll upload them. I'll be adding a lot to my flickr account before I put them here, so if you want to see them ahead of time, they'll be there. [link]

Other than that, I'll just be getting ready for school and stuff. Haha, I am NOT happy about going back, but I'm kinda optimistic. This year HAS to be better than last year, it just HAS to be.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14200272/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14200272/ Thu, 16 Aug 2007 17:40:07 PDT
Everytime I try to scan something, it freezes up my whole computer. x.O
And then when I finally DO scan it, it looks like shit. DDD:
So, yeah, I have a drawing I need to scan, but it's being a bit delayed.


So in the meantime, I'll be working on editing and taking picturessss.

Haha, I'm going to the beach this weekend only for a couple of days. I'm going to go see two of my cousins, one of which is verrryyy into photography, so hopefully I'll learn a thing or two from her.

So I'll see you guys on monday, I think.

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14120657/ http://sugarcoatedcarcrash.deviantart.com/journal/14120657/ Sat, 11 Aug 2007 14:29:31 PDT

Ignore the random title, I just love that lyric, it's from This Providence....

Anyways...Amanda just left after spending the week with me. I miss her already. D:

But honestly, I'm going to be glad to get more than 5 hours of sleep tonight, haha.
I'm like dead right now, which is making me cranky, and I'm trying verrrryyyy hard not to be cranky. D:

Anyways, so, yes, I am alive. I'm just a horrible procrastinator that starts on things but never finishes them and I apologize for that. =/ I am working on many things, but I'm like working on them all at once so they're all taking longer, haha.

But yeah, it's like all my free time just disappeared. School starts in 2 weeks! I was like, holy shit! When did THAT happen?! I'm soooo not ready for school. I'm still completely stuck in summer mode and I don't want to get out of it. D:

]]> ~sugarcoatedcarcrash