deviantART: by:sulynn

2 cents of my feelings

~sulynn — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 08:33:40 PDT

Love
Is to understand, respect and comprehend.
There will be ups and downs.
But together we can make it, hand in hand.

Problems
Can evolve into wounds that are painful.
Over a period of time, they will scar.
But remember what we had, was beautiful.
Look on the brighter side, it's not very far.

Thank you
For being my eye when I cannot see.
My ears when I didn't hear.
To spend time explaining things to me.
Even if it took me ages to register.

I'm sorry
That I cannot comprehend with certain things.
Or understand what's it like to be in your shoes.
But thank you for letting me in.
And allowing me to understand your woes.

I appreciate
Everything we had.
And the crazy things we do.
We were both happy and mad.
Yet we still made it through.

All I'm asking
Don't take me for granted.
And promise me, that you will stay true.
This is all I ever wanted.
Loving me whole heartedly will do.

Love
Alicia

9.12am feeling

~sulynn — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 18:20:19 PST

Completely oblivious

And emotionless....

I don't want to feel.

Dreaming is over.

Must snap myself back into reality.

That's the way it should be.

"Wake up bitch!"

And good morning to myself once more

:random:

The Irony

~sulynn — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 00:56:17 PST

Of waking up in the morning thinking what's next?

A day passes by like time doesn't exist.

Each minute passed, is 60 seconds wasted.

Every time I think about that, I wonder what have I done to live my life to its fullest.

Partying. checked
Working. checked

What else?

The thought and feeling that my life is empty, sickens me to the bone.

The friends say, go get a partner/bf/playmate

LOL!

unchecked.

Will let that delay till I'm ready to roll the ball

Looking back at my life..

~sulynn — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 08:34:03 PST

I was reading all my previous journals from the past...

Boy, did I have a lot to say

Ironically, I was once a very happy girl.

Very hyper, full of energy and on the go...

At some point I just stopped, and became emo.

As far as I can remember, I spent at least 8 years feeling negative about everything in life.

I tried to feel sane, to keep being optimistic no matter what.

But I felt tired doing it...

So I stopped.

I don't remember how I felt exactly.

Maybe I just stopped having emotions.

Or perhaps, never bothered to be happy.

I don't know why I was so negative back then..

Maybe its part of growing up?

I only remembered feeling sick of my life.

Because everything wasn't going right.

I had either a) suicide OR b) drop everything and move on..

I tried both.. Pretty obvious which one worked out hey

In this process of searching for myself and happiness I had to go through pain.

Moving on wasn't easy. I had a lot of encounters.

I don't know what kept me going, but I blindly moved forward.

Through pain, I appreciated healing.

I learned that the healing process hurts..

And it can take its time to heal... Perhaps days, weeks, months..

Even years.

Through healing, I learned patience.

Though at that moment, it felt like this want for cure would've taken forever.

I felt the need to wait.

Anyway I started off with pain. If I couldn't find the perfect remedy to heal..

I wouldn't lose anything...

While waiting, I understood the meaning of appreciation.

Appreciation towards so many things. I don't know where to start...

Family, friends, time, myself... The little things you take for granted in life.

I feel happy yet sad. Mostly happy because I am healing.

Sad because I wasted my life.

I regret on things I didn't do, more than the things I've done.

It took me 8 years to be here..

I am glad, I made it this far

Update

~sulynn — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 23:56:05 PST

I've been away for a while. Since my trip back to Malaysia, I've been busy visiting friends and family, traveling, and getting a job.

Now that I've found a job, I've been busy working.

I don't have the single mindedness to lift my camera and start shooting things.

Sometimes I'm afraid that I might lose my interest in Photography and Photomanipulation.

A few things I want/need to do:
a) Photography
b) Japanese Classes
c) Mandarin Classes
d) Start saving up to either
i. buy property
ii. open a franchise
e) Work out.

Constant reminder to myself in case of lost identity or self doubt

It took me 22 years to develop self confidence. I'm not going to allow stereotyping to ruin it.

I cannot make the whole world like me. I'm not here to please society.

It's okay to be weird, because we exist to make other ppl look sane

I don't think it's wrong to be comfortable in my own skin

me iz back..

~sulynn — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 04:30:05 PDT

I have been MIA for so long.. I've noticed a few changes o.O

1. I'm no longer a subscriber.

2. dA changed its layout.

I'm so not getting used to the new system =.=

01.04

~sulynn — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 02:09:01 PDT

Happy April's Fool Day people.

What an experience

~sulynn — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 01:14:26 PST

I went to this really cool island called Mataking. Its located in Sabah.

Went with some my family, relatives and really old close friends. We had to take a 45 minute speed boat over though. The water's so clear and cleaannn! I could see the fishies swimming inside!

Its a freakin paradise. Great for a getaway. Its like a Paris Hilton version of LOST. wtf. if you get what i mean... =.=

Its fantastic! I took a couple of pix there.. but i've only put 2 up on dA. I think I took about 200++ worth of pictures. Might post them up on flickr sometime soon.

The only funny part during the trip was when we were driving to the jetty we saw this guy lying on the floor. For 2 seconds I thought it was just another beggar sleeping on the side of the street.

But my dad told me that the situation didn't look right. We took a closer look while driving through. My gawd! To our horror, I think the guy was dead on the side of the street.

His eyes were closed, but it was like.. BULGING out! Like y'know. Goldfishes eyes? And it was kinda like... Bleeding or something. Yuck!

I think he was beaten the shit out by someone, and was left like that on the roadside. I tried to catch a glimpse to see whether he was still breathing. But our car drove through so fast we couldn't see much.

I didn't think he was dead, cause there were ppl passing by and no one gave a shit about him. So I thought, he's still alive.. probably just resting or whatever. But my dad said that the fker looked so stiff its as if he died for 2 days. WTF!

There were ppl walking pass him but no one did a single thing! He's not a dead rat, or a dog who got run over a car. Its a freakin HUMAN dead on the side of the street.

omg.. i was so fkin horrified, I kept pestering my mom to call the cops or something.. But my relatives just told me to relax and stop making a big deal out of it.

wtf? big deal? omfl... i've never EVER seen something like that in my entire life. I mean I make a big deal if I see a dead cat on the street. What more if I see a dead human on the side walk.

After 2 days we came back from the trip, I took a peak from the car to see whether the body was still there. It was gone. Either the guy was alive, or his friend came to save him, or the police came to pick up his body. I don't know.

I'd like to stick to option #2. It sounds nicer.

But ewww.. what a sight.

Its worse than having a nightmare.

All in all, I had a great time at the island. Just that this dead anonymous person thingy made me paranoid the whole time.

update

~sulynn — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:31:51 PST

i havent been doing anything on dA for a very long time.

i think i'm becoming very lazy.

i need some sort of motivation.

i watched I AM LEGEND today. Scared the shit outta me. I hate movies like that.

i'm really bored right now

you...

~sulynn — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 06:12:27 PST

i'd rather leave you knowing that you still have feelings for me; than to have you leave and tell me that you don't love me anymore.

i've given you everything that i've got, i'm practically left with nothing.

and your feelings is the only thing that's left of me. though not tangible, but its the least of everything that i could own.

can i be this selfish..

just this once?

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.

Soul for rent, life for sale

~sulynn — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 21:37:34 PST

I'm so tired I need life to give me a break.

I wish I had a remote control, so that I could put everything on pause.

I need to sit down and relax for a bit. My time management skills is in a total mess.

I want a better weather, its freaking hot in Perth these days.

btw, does anyone here know how to play with the CSS journal thingy?

:)

~sulynn — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 01:51:43 PDT

I need a new subscription

Who'd like to sponsor me this time around

hehe *shameless me*

what's there to feel?

~sulynn — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:12:33 PDT

i told myself i wouldn't feel this way.

i told myself i wouldn't fall for it.

it was so obvious.

how could i not realize.

actually i knew it all along.

and yet i allowed myself to sink deeper into it.

but look what i've gotten myself into.

all confused and upset.

unessacary feelings that i have to put myself through.

why was i so silly? foolish? and naive?

i gave myself hope when there was none to begin with.

pictured myself with dreams that would never be true.

lol. i should really stop day dreaming.

and grow up.

sigh.

i don't want to feel.

how do i stop feeling?

i've been feeling rather low lately.

its been one heck of a month. time after time, ive been dissapointed by my surroundings.

sometimes i wish that i wouldn't feel that much.

try so hard to be something, or someone i'm not.

identity crisis. lol

p/s: sorry for being so random

sometimes songs just play what you feel

~sulynn — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 14:12:22 PDT

In the light of the sun
Is there anyone, ohh it has begun
Oh dear you look so lost
Eyes are red and tears are shed
This world you must have crossed, you said

You donÂt know me, and you don't even care
ooo yea
She said you don't know me, and you don't wear my chains ooo yea

Essential yet appealed
Carry all your thoughts, across an open field
When the flowers gaze at you
They're not the only ones who cry when they see you

You said you don't know me, and you donÂt even care
ooo yea
And she said you don't know me, and you don't wear my
chains
ooo yea

She said I think I'll going to Boston
I think I'll start a new life
I think I'll start it over
Where no one knows my name
I'll get out of California
I'm tired of the weather
I think I'll get a lover
I'll fly them out to Spain

I think I'll go to Boston
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town to leave this all behind
I think I need a sunrise
I'm tired of the sunset
Hear it's nice in the summer
Some snow would be nice
Ooo yea

In Boston! No one knows my name
Yeaa
No one knows my name
No one knows my name

Yeaa

In Boston no one knows my name

insomnia

~sulynn — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 13:50:36 PDT

i find it really hard to sleep these nights.

i don't know why.

whenever i had a problem such as this, i'll start reading my textbooks.

cause i have a problem trying to study.

everytime i pick up my text books, i feel like sleeping.

and whenever i can't sleep, that's exactly what i do.

i read my text books until i fall asleep.

lol! i know it sounds stupid, but at least i'm not taking sleeping pills hey?

somehow, this time its not working.

my text books aren't working. what do i do?

talk about sleeping.

i'm one person who can sleep anywhere and everywhere.

as long as my head can lean on something.

i'd probably just fall asleep then and there. which is freaky.

cause i remembered i used to fall asleep in the train back home.

once, i fell asleep and missed my stop. so i had to go down the train and take the other train back.

but while i was inside the other train, i fell asleep.

and i missed my stop again! arghhh...

when i went up the next train, i made myself stand so that i wouldn't fall asleep again.

i haven't reached to that stage whereby i can sleep while standing. lol

that'll be damn akward.

its funny though that i can't sleep on my own bed.

like its 4.44am right now. and i'm still wide awake.

sheesh.

i really need to sleep. can someone help?

walking, thinking, imaginating

~sulynn — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 04:53:36 PDT

its been a month now since I move to perth to further my studies.

the lifestyle here's pretty different from back home. i thought i would've hated it.

but i kinda like it

i walk a lot ever since i came to perth. haha

i wasn't really used to the idea of walking, cause when i was back in Msia i had a car to drive.

but i dont have a car now. and the only thing besides the trains and buses, its just walk.

i like walking now. i dont know why. should there be any reason to?

sometimes i don't realize that i'm actually walking. its a subconscious thingy. pretty hard to describe or explain.

but i know i'm walking. at the same time, i dont remember doing it. lol!

doesn't make any sense right? haha

maybe its because i do it everyday, that i don't know that walking has played a part in my life.

lol. its like i dont remember walking this far. but hey! some how I reached my destination.

is it just me? being weird?

sometimes i don't remember that i've got legs. until i see ppl on wheel chairs, that's when i realize that i actually have a pair of legs, thighs, knees and feet.

i can walk, and these ppl cant.

i think i take 'walking' for granted. i think i take my legs for granted.

i think. i think alot. lol

but maybe that's how it kills time and the feeling of distance when i'm walking.

haha. sometimes i'm so indulge in my own thinking. i miss a turn, road or junction.

and the next thing i know is that i'm lost! lol

i think its funny sometimes. cause i dont know how come i have so much to think about?

i was walking home from uni a while ago; and I was thinking about the word friends.

then i thought about a trampoline. i haven't jumped on a trampoline for ages. for that split second, i wanted to jump on one.

haha.

the thought was kinda random. i don't know how it got there in the first place, but then i had this imagination. i could picture me jumping up and down on the trampoline.

that imagination was so vivid, maybe because i had the wind blowing in my face. and that helped paint the picture.

and then this thought just ran through my mind.

friends are like trampolines. they help you to bounce up, when you're feeling down. and as long as you stay down, they will push u up.

over and over again. lol

i don't know whether that made any sense. but that was the thought i had throughout my 15 minute walk to home.

lol.

and then i laughed. not realizing that i was actually laughing at myself.

i was alone.

i walked alone.

i felt silly for 2 seconds.

and then i smiled again for being so silly.

only the wind shared that moment with me.

it was that moment then i realized that..

it isn't that bad being alone after all.

at least, i'm happy

lol. this is so random. but i thought i'd just put in down in words.

i want to remember this feeling.

Sigh

~sulynn — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 08:04:13 PDT

it feels damn fucked to miss someone so badly.

To Australia

~sulynn — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 09:43:13 PDT

I'll be leaving for Perth in exactly 9 hours.

Gona miss my country, family, friends and bf.

I want to come back soon

btw. Ex bf and I got back together

I won't leave dA. Love it here.

dear ex bf

~sulynn — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 10:10:57 PDT

You shouldn't be sick of me, I should be sick of you.

Relationships

~sulynn — Sun, 13 May 2007 11:04:12 PDT

I just had an argument with my bf.

We've been arguing for at least 3 hours, and gawd knows how many times I slammed down the phone. Lol! Girls

The argument was actually caused by a misunderstanding we had this afternoon. Its too long to mention what actually happened but it was because of some miscommunication btwn my bf and I that got us both on to our boiling points.

Somehow I refused to settle with the conclusion that this whole thing was a misunderstanding and it wasn't anyone's fault. I wanted him to take full responsibility and say SORRY.

He did say sorry, but he sound like he didn't mean it T________T
and that really cheesed me off.

So I kept bringing up the topic, over and over again. Lol! It kinda irritated my bf, and at one point he hung up on me!! Wtf! lol!

Guys aren't supposed to hang up >___< Anyhow, I called him back and we continued screaming at the top of our voices.

But its all good right now, I started crying and he gave in XD

Haha, I cried because I was upset that sometimes he takes me for granted, and I really don't like that. But he reasoned to me that it was all a misunderstanding.

And I can't believe I actually bought that excuse. wtf, hopeless me T3T

But I guess that's what you do when you really like a person so much.

love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

So true right?

Here's some pictures I took and posted them on Flickr. Wondering whether I should post them here.

Lol.. My dad bought my mom roses the other day. Kinda played around with it ^__^

soxox

~sulynn — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 20:51:11 PDT

my hamster, soxox is dying....

he's been sitting in his cage looking so lifeless

its just a matter of time before he moves on to heaven.

i'm so sad right now

i'm going to miss him soooo much

poor fella looks like he's suffering a lot

he has this growth on his belly

and it looks like its causing him a lot of pain

i don't know what to do

the vets here won't do much but tell you he's better off dead

fuckers

i hope he'll rest in peace

i love my soxox

see you in my next life

Sony Cybershot Camera

~sulynn — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 04:43:58 PDT

Oooh.... I really wanna get the Sony W55 Digital Camera. Its PINK in colour, and it has 7.2MP.

My Canon A70 is so old its time for it to retire. Anyway, its already half way spoilt. I need a new one.

When I first bought my Canon A70, it cost me RM1200. I don't know how much is it when converted to USD. Now Sony is selling its new camera for RM899!!!

=________||

I don't know a lot about cameras. Though I think I should get myself a DSLR, but its waaaay too expensive to purchase them

I think the body costs around RM5000 to RM6000. That's not including the lense. Gawd, where am I going to get so much money? Unless I rob a bank. Maybe if I'm lucky I might strike the Lotto lottery ticket.

Lol!

farking exam paper

~sulynn — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 03:26:38 PDT

10 short questions, 15 short essay, and 1 long essay. 70%

within 50 minutes??!

You've got to be kdding me.

wtf

To Parents

~sulynn — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 04:32:42 PDT

If you want us to act like an adult, you have to start treating us like one.

With ,
Children

something doesn't feel right

~sulynn — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 11:20:04 PDT

but I don't know what went wrong....

:/

I've got this really bad habit

~sulynn — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 05:24:46 PST

of pouting my lips whenever I take a random picture.

I don't know why I don't do it when I'm snapping for dA though :/

I was just browsing through whorer pictures that I've took with my friends.

And I realized half my pictures are made out of lip pouting.

#1

please ignore those whorific eye bags

#2

#3

#4

#5

its the mouth, not the bags

#6

#7

Whorified yet?

I used to hate girls who do that. Like they think their so cute. Pffft.... Whatever

But having that said and done, I'm infected by this mouth pouting disease... and I'M OVER DOING IT!

Omfl!

I'm actually pouting right now.

So need to stop.

P.s: Worthless entry

pps: remember that fuck poll i submitted in a long time ago? Go check this out...

[link]

happy chinese new year

~sulynn — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 10:42:08 PST

cant wait to receive my red packets

Wounds and scars

~sulynn — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 11:02:12 PST

"When people fall, naturally, they get wounded..."

Wounds are painful.
Sometimes it hurts a little, sometimes it hurts a lot. Depending on how hard a person falls, it determines how badly s/he has been wounded.

Wounds takes time to heal.
Some wounds only take you a couple of days to heal... Some take weeks, months, years; and some... a lifetime, depending on how severe one has been wounded.

Healed wounds become scars.
Yeah, they do. Though not all of them, but most of them. Scars (unlike wounds), takes a longer time to vanish.

Scars.
No one likes to own a scar. Its simply annoying to even have one. Scars remind you of the past and how you even got it in the first place.

It brings back bitter moments from the time you fell and got yourself hurt.. till you picked yourself up, tried to make yourself feel better; but barely got yourself recovered. It sucks, I know. Shit happens.

'But unlike wounds, scars don't hurt.. No matter how hard you rub them, you don't feel the pain.'

Its there to remind you of the person/things that might have hurt you. But at the same time, it doesn't want to remind you of the pain you had to go through.

Conclusion
The damage has been done, don't repeat the same mistakes you have once made. Focusing on the past will only disturb the present, and suppress you from the future.

If you fall, pick yourself up.
If you're sad, cry yourself a river; build a bridge and get over it.

Forget the past, concentrate on the present; and look forward to the future. Move on.

________________________________________ ___

I sound like I'm a bloody therapist.

I've met someone recently that I shouldn't have met.
I thought my wound recovered, but seems like its still healing. Hmm =/

No. Actually I've already recovered. I know I have. Its just that sometimes, I'm asking for it.. Asking for the pain to come back.

Cause the pain brought back good old memories.

And it felt good reminiscing about them.

I. must. be. sick.

Lol!

Charlie and I

~sulynn — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 12:37:04 PST

Yesterday, I got lost while I was taking my friend's dog for a walk around their housing area. I wasn't familiar with the place and I wasn't watching where I was going, and both Charlie and I got lost for almost an hour.

I thought it was a cute adventure though.. I've never took dogs out for walks in my life, and Charlie was such an adorable creature.

My feet are aching all over right now. I've got blisters in between my toes and at the sole of my feet. Its like rubbing salt on a fresh wound when I'm taking my shower, it hurts

I decided to draw Charlie and me when we were resting at a nearby park. Lol. I suck at hand drawing, so I had to draw using Illustrator.

Lol... What a day

Happy New Year :)

~sulynn — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 08:24:54 PST

May the person who fcuked your 2006 has his/her ass filled with maggots, and hands shorten by 2 folds. In that case they wouldn't be able to scratch their butts for the whole of 2007.

Have a great year ahead peeps

Im a swan!

~sulynn — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 08:11:18 PST

ROFL...

now, i have brown curly hair..

i'm trying really hard to get used to the colour and curls.

lets look at my hair at a 360 degree angle. lol.

Sigh.......

I miss my long black hair

RIP Pochi

~sulynn — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 09:22:41 PST

Pochi is dead.. I miss her so much!

this was what she looked like before she died.. She looked as if she was sleeping.

I placed her in a box... I thought she deserved to be have a box like humans need caskets for their funeral.

I asked my boyfriend to help burry Pochi, but he kinda freaked out... I like this picture of him though

so we burried Pochi in the park at the 3rd floor of my condominium. If the management finds out, I'm going to be so dead.

I said a little prayer, and helped my boyfriend burry Pochi. The next thing I know, she already has a tombstone.

I'd love to craft a tombstone for Pochi, but for now.. I think that plastic spoon would do.

Curse that doctor who said she looks fine! Pochi had malnutrition gawdmnit! Her stomach caved in and she was so freaking thin. I could even see her ribs! How could he say she's fine?!

I miss her so much! I really do... I miss the days she used to nibble on my finger. I miss those days she used to pick a fight with Soxox, my other hamster.

Sigh....

It's been a very very bad November. And btw, I'm not going to Korea anymore.

flooded with good news

~sulynn — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 23:03:11 PST

I should've thanked *Dracoart for the 1 year subscription in the previous post. But i was too caught up with getting pissed for nothing, i totally forgot to do so. Sorry *sincerely regrets getting pissed*.

THANK YOU FOR THE SUBSCRIPTION!!

Anyway, it's been a fugtub month, but its been quite a surprising week. I can't believe my luck has changed cause i've been getting really good news these few days

Firstly,

I received a surprised subscription from *Dracoart, I was so happy I almost fainted and died . And this regular person who visits my deviantArt wanted to sponsor me another 1 year subscription! Aww... So touched right now

Secondly,

A friend of mine who works for a Chinese local magazine approached me the other day, she was looking for a talent to go for a makeover and a photoshoot session. And of all person she picked me! hehe...

I asked her why did she choose me? And she said "Oh, cause its kinda hard to get someone who isn't that pretty and who's not that ugly.. The pretty ones don't need a makeover, the ugly ones take too much time effort to get their looks done."

okay~~

Its kinda kewl you know cause I'm goin to get a free hair cut, dye, highlight, perm, straighten, whatever without forking out a single penny. Maybe I can get my mohawk fixed yo'!

And then I'm supposed to go for a photoshoot to snap a before and after picture of me. So according to my friend, I'd be appearing in one of March issue columns. Haha! Not the front page, I wished!

The whole thing's gona take a month.. Starting from the 4th to the 28th of Decemeber.

Lastly

My mom told me that I could go to Korea for a holiday:!: My aunt's in Seoul right now, and she offered my mom to take me in for 2 weeks in December!

The thing is.. I've got my entire month occupied for this Makeover thingy, but I really wanna go to KOREA!! Omg...

How now brown cow...?

ooh.. btw, check out ~buddhistpunk's gallery ! He had this 'cereal killer' ID and I really liked it! So inspired by that idea, I shamelessly made one for myself hehe

Anyway, i've got an exam tomorrow morning at 9am. I've got to run. Wish me luck!

I've been misunderstood

~sulynn — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 01:30:29 PST

You know.. it's so irritating when someone asks you how you did a certain picture and then he/she does the same thing. They post it up their blog/web and give you seriously lil credit.

Like they tell you...

"Oh maaaaaaan, you're pictures are so cool. I'm so inspired man. Could you teach me?"

and when I do... the next thing I know, ppl come up to me and ask me stuff like..

"Your pictures are kinda similar to so and so's pictures you know.. o.O"

Mine similar to his/hers? LOL!! wat? Sounds more like the other way round *mind you* Its not the first time I've been getting crap like that. Lol, its seriously disturbing.

Its not like they're inspired by only one picture, it's PICTURES. With a S. I feel so unappreciated after 'helping' someone improve their 'creativity' skills. Instead I get the knife stabbed right back in the heart.

Some ppl are like that you know. Always taking other ppl's idea and then ~~making~~ proclaiming its theirs. I'm okay with that... Sometimes when I'm inspired I do that as well, but atleast I bother to credit the person who came up with the style and idea or watever. That's why they teach you stuff like 'Refferencing'.

But I'm just seriously pissed off when ppl come up to me and query me as if I'm the one not 'refferencing' so and so.. Puhleaaase... Its so selfish of them to do something like that. Making me look like the 'ripper' and they the 'creative ones'.

I don't fkin care if its me being creative or watever . No! I seriously don't. Just don't look at me as if I stole the idea or watever cufkin , ok?

I'm not trying to be the good guy here, but I don't like to be the bad one either. Go fly a kite and stop bothering me. I've done what I could to be a helpful person, but it doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere.

eat this..

please sponsor me...

~sulynn — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 02:14:37 PST

I've always wanted to be a subscriber to dA.. That dA subscription has been in my shopping cart for more than a year

My parents aren't supportive with me having to spend money over a website :/ I don't have a credit card, MEPS, or deviant cash. Therefore, it would be great if some kind soul would be my angel and sponsor me a year of subscription in dA. A 3 month subscription would be okay too

Anyone kind enough to buy me a 1 year susbcription for deviantArt please? *inserts purdy eyes*

I promise I'll make full use of it! Though I'm not sucha fantastic picture taker, but I'll try my best in producing the best pictures. okie? ^^

Please help me yeah? I'm so desperate now . If anyone's kind and interested to sponsor me, you can leave me a note or a comment ya?

i want a mohawk

~sulynn — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 07:52:56 PST

i saw a picture of this girl.. she had hair like mine. Long and jet black..

but the onli difference is, she had a mini mohawk at the top of her head.. with blonde highlights.. dat's so cufkin kewl!

See here: [link]

I'd change that blonde higlight into red.. Mwahahhaa... I this hair to bits!!!

I need a new hair do.. mine's been like dat for the past 6 years. Pfftt.. so boring

But i dont think i can pull it off.. and besides, I don't know which saloon could help me with this hair do.

Sigh....

Can you imagine me with that hair?

titles to play with

~sulynn — Sat, 04 Nov 2006 07:58:18 PST

I'm crawling towards Ryan Conferido..

Haha.. Kinda played with the title to get that line.

Check out my recent deviations on the main page to understand what i've just said...

23 more days

~sulynn — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 09:07:54 PST

till my next semester break!!! wooooohoooohoooooooo....!!

but i've got 1 journal and 1 cufkin research paper due next week.

1 more exam, and i'll be done for the term!

i'maaaaaaa freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee woman!! lalalalalala~~~

so i'm counting those days...

fwee heehee...

*i should take more happy shots, instead of the moody ones in the gallery*

21. 10. 06

~sulynn — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 09:51:58 PDT

I had a MySpace account 2 years back, but I kinda like canceled it cause I didn't know what to do with it...

well, I signed up for another account like 2 days ago because I really really wanted to add Ryanimay into my account. I don't think he has friendster but I do know he has 2 myspace accounts.

He makes me weak in the knees. Gotta love that hair and yes I am a manic

I'm still tryna change the background and the entire layout of myspace.. But i'm having trouble with the codes. Actually, I don't know anything bout codes =/

Anyone kind enough to help?

I'm amazed by the amount of hits I've oredi received within 2 days.. I've never had that in dA, never had that in Friendster..

but, I had 91 friend requests and 20 messages within 2 days..

Freaky... o.O I wished i had that much hits on dA though *shrugs*

And their messages are pretty much the same lame thing.. it's always..

"Hey Alicia Keys.."
"Looking hot like Alicia Keys"

Tell me... Do I look like i have anything in common with the diva? With the exception that I do play the piano.. but heck! I can't sing without croaking.

I've just rented this book today.. Can't believe I've actually spent half my day lying on the bed doing nothing but screening through pages of this 'true crime' novel.

Its a story bout a lady in her mid 30s having an affair with a 6th grade kid..

I know it sounds kinda sick, I found it sick after screening through the last few pages.. But I was amazed by this woman's determination. She'd rather throw herself into jail, than to admit she was a paedophile.

Its a long story.. But an interesting one I think I better get back to reading, the book's about to finish.

Toodles

another day..

~sulynn — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 09:06:48 PDT

and i'll be 20...

I am trying to feel excited... But there's nothing to be excited about.

I'm trying to feel happy, but there's no reason for me to be happy. I'm not getting any younger, so there isn't a need to celebrate.

I don't need anything for my birthday, I don't need gifts... I don't even need a cake..

All I want and ask from you... is to be left alone.

Will you do me that favour? And let me do what I want?

Just for a day?

what are butt holes for?

~sulynn — Sun, 03 Sep 2006 09:51:51 PDT

to cut shits into pieces..

black and white

~sulynn — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 10:03:15 PDT

So detailed. So classic. Only conveys 2 types of feelings:
1. Black is negative
2. White is positive

Unlike red, or blue; maybe green. They don't have different kinds of shades (feelings).

If you add black with anything, you just end up going back to black. You don't have an option.
If you add white with anything, everything thing seems brighter than usual.

But when you add black with white, it becomes gray.

Gray.. is so neutral. Not too negative, not too positive. But it doesn't get you anywhere, and doesn't tell you anything.

Gives you just the right amount of information, but it's up to you to decide.

I really hate that kinda feeling.

Would you..

~sulynn — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 09:39:16 PDT

Pick:

a) A sexy hot model
b) Or a cute/adorable photographer

as your date? And why would you do that?

Me?

~sulynn — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 07:41:18 PDT

pointless dA

~sulynn — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 08:01:00 PDT

so so pointless.... i don't even know where to start.

what am I going to do with this account? I feel like leaving.

zZzZz

~sulynn — Thu, 18 May 2006 18:50:24 PDT

Mood: Super Sleepy
Listening to: My stomach roar

Oh my goodness.... I'm soooooo sleepy, I haven't been sleeping well these few nights. My eyes are dark and swollen, like a bee who got pissed at me and stung both my eyes causing it to bruise and become bags.

It's been a looooong time now, my last journal was April the 6th. Lol! And it's coming to the end of my internship. My last day is on Monday the 22nd, can't wait till that happens. Why? Cause I've not been getting enough sleep for the past 2 months.

My country is going through a rainy season. The lightning that strikes here it's like aiming the cameras flash directly into ones eye. A lot of people have been struck dead by lightning, it freaked me out when I was walking around outside the restaurant and I saw a lightning hit one of the shop lots air-conditioner and it burst into flames. @.@

I am very paranoid about walking under the drizzling rain. Not because I'm afraid to have my gorgeous hair to be soaked wet, but I have this phobia of having anything dropping on top of my head. When I was a kid, I used to suffocate myself under those blankets because I was afraid that the fan might drop and chop of my head. Now I fear that I might get struck by lightning. Everytime I get out of the house during the raining season, I'd cover my head with an umbrella (though it's not exactly the best protection) or anything that would make me feel a lil less paranoid.

Anyway, I gtg get back to work. T____T *yawns* Like a living zombie working on a Mac

Torn (long journal, do not open if not interested)

~sulynn — Wed, 05 Apr 2006 21:07:12 PDT

Mood:
Music: Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated

Life in the office has improved compared to the first week, it's starting to get a lil busy this time around. Finally, I've been given some 'useful' stuff to do. I'm happy they're happy... Peace yo'

My Japanese tutor has stopped teaching, she's pregnant! (that explains the frequent 'canceled' classes) We've been replaced with another male tutor.. An old retired man he is, pretty good looking for his age I'd say. My aunt would probably like him. He's very proffesional and his lessons are more profound. I generally think he's better than the previous sensei. I felt the pressure to motivate myself. Though his lessons are moving in pretty fast, but he provided us with more detailed and better notes, hence explanations. He gives me homework to do I'm pretty lazy when it comes to books, I'm like a sloth. Reading blinds me. That explains the thick framed glasses I'm wearing.

My mum and I aren't really on talking terms right now. I'm depressed, but there's nothing much I can do about it. Well maybe I can do something, but it seems like whatever move I make it makes my heart bleed even more.

I am shtuck in the middle btwn my mum and my bf.. My mum refuses and will never acknowledge him as my partner. I can't help but feel crestfallen. She doesn't like it when I hang out with him during the weekends, she gets irritated when he calls me. She flips when he gives me a ride back home. I can't blame her, she means well for me.

My bf and I are very different ppl in nature (that's how I'd put it), and in society (that's how my mum would put it). Unlike me, he lacked the opportunity to further his studies in a college. However, now he's working his butt up to pursue a career and a better salary. "I may be nothing now, but that doesn't mean I won't be something in the future", that's what he said.

I, do not; NEVER despise ppl who never had any form of education in their life span. I only reduce my level of repsectiveness towards people who don't study and they don't want to work, hence do nothing to improve their lives.

Paris Hiton once said, "Education's for poor people. Poor people need education to get a job, and that's where they'll get their money." Don't you wish you'd like to slap that bitch around the world? I can't blame her, she's just filthy rich! What does a 20 year old girl have to do with the excess to everything? Stay at home and read a book? (can she read without receiving education?) I pray that her money will never run dry.

My point is.. It's okay if you're not "educated". It doesn't mean if you have that piece of degree in your hands, it'll make you a better person in life. As long as you are eager to work hard and pursue your dreams, there won't be any boundaries. And for that, you've just earned my respect. That's what he is doing and I just can't understand why my mum can't accept that?

She keeps talking to me about my marriage, "You can find someone who's way better off than this, I feel dissapointed that you've choose someone that's incompatible to your standards. What if you married someone like him.. Your life will be in turmoil. You'd argue, suffer and regret. I've seen things you haven't seen in your life and I know what's it like. You have so many good examples layed infront of you and you've seen what happened to their lives, yet you refuse to learn but rather plunge into it."

I'm 19 coming 20, I don't even know what's going to happen within the next 50 minutes therefore I don't know what will happen within the next 5 years. Marriage is a serious issue, what makes her think that he is, for sure the one that I'll marry? I'm saying this because the future is unpredictable. People come and go in our lives. Some stay, some forgotten, some leave; and some never come back. You really wouldn't know!?

Enough about my mum, as for him.. He's pissed off! But he can't say or do anything. She's my mother! He said to "Give her (slowly get to know and accept him) and myself (proof to my mum that she's wrong) some time. It's okay, I understand. All mothers mean well for their daughters, it's going to be a long way but it's worth the try."

I don't know how long I can take this.. It's frustrating, depressing, and annoying. I don't want to dissapoint my mum, at the same time I don't want to hurt mg...

"jobless"

~sulynn — Mon, 03 Apr 2006 22:02:30 PDT

I always had this idea at the back of my head that
working as an intern = making coffee + photostat girl, until I saw my desk (eMac) I knew I wasn't gona spit any green fleghm into anyone's hot drink

It's been 1 week since I started my internship.. and honestly, I can't help but feel demotivated. Back in college, I had better motivation being a procrastinator than this. I thought working was supposed to be a bitch, but it seems like I'm molding myself into a profesional slacker.

Here's my daily routine (you would love my job):
8.50am
If I'm lucky, the doors are already open. If not, I'll wait for the next 10 minutes until someone arrives to the office with the key.

9.00am
I head to the pantry to have my breaksfast! Take my time to make a cup of hot Milo and munch on my favourite 'wu tao kou' (chinese desert, i think)

9.10am
I head to my desk, and turn on the eMac *inserts heavenly tune*. Peeps from my desk and I see only 2 heads in the entire office. I pick up a couple of CDs, re format the pictures and later save them in a file (this can go on for the entire day or it'll only take 30 minutes depending how long I'd like to drag my time)

12.30pm (most important agenda of the day)
Remember to go downstairs and grab some lunch

1.15pm
Done with lunch, I noramlly head to the toilet to deal with some "unfinished" business while I read through today's papers.

1.30pm
Proceed to my PC, clicks on Mozilla Firefox.. I browse through dA, friendster and some of my friend's blogs. Keeping myself updated with their latest insights. Off and on, I do pick up some phone calls just to practice on my vocal skills. I think I sound sweeter than I normally do... Lol, practice makes perfect :flirt:.

5.00pm
Get shtuck in the damn jam and go hooooome...

I don't get paid for being an intern, ironically.. Why aren't they making full use of me? Most of you would prolly ask me to stfu and just be happy. "Why would you wanna work ur butt off when ur not getting paid?" But let me remind you, I'm here to learn something. I really want to, I'm really passionate with what I do. Okie, maybe sometimes I look like I'm really *blerh*..

Am I being impatient? Cause it's only been one week. I think I am. I'm just an intern, why should they give me important stuff to do? Lol, prolly I might screw up everything! Lol~ Or am I in the right field? Its pretty frustrating, ppl don't associate with me as an "amateur photographer". They'd rather label me as a 'graphic designer'.. The thing is I don't do graphics. I'm a newb at Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign.. etc Honestly, I don't really know how to function them.. I do basics!

Maybe I misleaded them in my resume, I mentioned that I've designed posters & flyers for events. The thing is, the posters and flyers used are mostly done like the 'picture and caption' type. I do minor touch ups on those pictures, never major ones. Seriously, have you seen a decent dramatic manipulated piece of work in my gallery? If I could crop a person's face without making it look like a squared box, I'd be more than happy. So, how should I rephrase my sentence? Took pictures of models and did minor editing to be used for events?

I'm accustomed to be the busy bee in college, I find it a lil uncomfy being so useless around the office. Not exactly useless, but not that important. Lol~~

I think I'm crazy..

How to use an Apple

~sulynn — Mon, 27 Mar 2006 05:36:34 PST

Good morning ppl... Rise and SHINE!!!!! Lol!

Today's my first day at work. Did I tell you I was gona work? Heehee ^__^, I've been accepted by a local magazine company to work as an intern for the next 2 months... Well, I'm not getting paid.. but it's okie... it's the experience that counts. Teehee ^__^ I don't have a choice though... I need to go through an internship before I get to collect my college's cert.. It's part of the subject...

It's 11.30 now, I've been here for 2 and a half hours...

I met the most beautiful thing in the office today... It was a at first sight incident.. I met the one and only Apple eMac computer *inserts heavenly tune*

That thing seduced me. And this couldn't get any better, I get to use it for the next 2 months...! I have never, in my life touched an Apple before (as in the computer, mind you)...

The moment I entered the office, my deputy editor showed me my desk.. (I actually have a desk? ) Wow...~~ And when I saw that white lil box, it was glowing like a baby's butt.. It's white silky smooth body melt my heart, I was mesmerized. *I know I sound like a freek* It's like the best PC to use when it comes to designing and pictures.. I can't believe I'm forced to caress this baby and spend time using it... Oh, my *hugs and kisses the Mac*

BUT.. I don't know how to use a Mac +_+'''

I couldn't find the 'ON' button... My deputy editor had to help me turn on the pc and it was embarassing. The moment I heard the "opening theme" for Mac, I wanted to cry.. I felt like I was on my way up to heaven.. *cough*

She told me to try to get the hang of 'it'.. and by all means I will and I did.. The thing is, I spent half an hour trying to look for the 'Start' button (Note: Mac doesn't have a 'Start' button like Microsoft). Imagine, I spent half an hour looking like a total moron. I didn't want to ask anyone around because I wanted to spend some private moment with my new ..

Finally I managed to find Photoshop...

I was digging through every file to look for that blardee Adobe document.. The thing about Mac is that it hides all your files at the bottom of the screen. I didn't know that, I was left to play with this baby on my own... I'm like a lost sheep in a garden, filled with fresh air and green grass; but I don't know where to start nibbling *cough* Right..

There's one more embarassing secret that I would like to keep it to myself, but for the sake of brightening up your day; I shall be a kind soul and leak it out to the world...

Well, I don't know how to use Apple's Mouse... The damn thing doesn't have a right click... Are all Apple Mouses like that? The design for the mouse is pretty cool though.. It's all flat and sleek! But wtf?!! No right click? U have got to be kidding me... So how the fck do 'save' something?

I tried to right click and 'save as' one of the pictures from my gallery, but i kept clicking.. and no.. nothing appeared... I felt like a retard, I wanted to hug someone and cry... Sigh... The Mac was tryna play 'hard to get' with me... So beautiful yet so difficult to use...

Aha... Here comes the magazine's designer! Will he teach me how to use the Mac? Will he even talk to me?? He's looks... Mature! I said 'Hi' already... Ah... He said 'Hi' too.. ^__^ What a moment...

As I was saying.. I still don't know understand why this particular mouse doesn't...

hello 20-o6

~sulynn — Mon, 09 Jan 2006 03:59:13 PST

Is this another brand new year and brand new day? or rather the same old shit but a new different day? or watever? gah..

i'm going through this dilemma of entering a new stage of life, being 20..

1. U are torn between being an adult and a teenager (hence the song 'Im not a girl, not yet a woman)
2. U don't feel like leaving the number '1' behind
3. As long as U haven't celebrated your birthday, U will deny the fact that you ARE 20 this year (women)
4. U suddenly realized your conversations has more substances than it used to
5. U know your parents wont do the laundry for you anymore
6. U avoid/never argue with your parents as much as you used to (just incase they realized that ur big enough to get thrown out of the house)
7. U know its time for you to take in more responsibility
8. U dread the day when your dad says, "It's time for me to stop giving you ur allowance"
9. U often find yourself overusing the word "those were the days"
10. U can't act like your in ur teens anymore
11. U now understand why your parents tell you to 'BEHAVE YOURSELF'
12. U become extra sensitive to the word OLD
13. U compare yourself 10 years down the road with your parents (in looks, and in profession)

am I the only one who thinks like that, or is this a norm?
Talk about new year resolutions, I don't think I've any at the mo. Maybe get my sleeping hours right, no more late night talks on the phone.

Oh yeah! I've got high cholesterol, funny eh? I'm so thin, and yet I've been hit with high cholesterol. It's not that high, but its sightly above the normal range. Pfftt, I'm too young to even think about health. I can't believe i have to control my diet...

What a year...

10 Biggest Brain Damaging Habits

~sulynn — Wed, 07 Dec 2005 20:04:25 PST

1. No Breakfast
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.

2. Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.

3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar consumption
Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.

5. Air Pollution
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.

6. Sleep Deprivation
Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.

7. Head covered while sleeping
Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.

8. Working your brain during illness
Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts
Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.

10. Talking Rarely
Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain.

someone sent this to my mail... i think i suffer all of the above except for the 3rd and 10th habit...

how crappy u can feel sometimes

~sulynn — Sun, 27 Nov 2005 04:12:27 PST

in another 10 minutes time, my parents are gona go visit a relative of mine in town... i'll be left alone at home..

damn! its been almost 1 month since that incident of my house getting robbed happened.. and for the 1st time... i'm being left alone!

i would like to go along with my parents.. but i've assignments to catch up on..
and i would like to go to my brother's place.. but my dad thinks its okie if i stay here at home.. my mum thinks i need to get used to it.. i hint my brother to come over and accompany me, but he has work to do.. omfl..!!

ITS RAINING NOW!!! How crappy can that be!

argh man... i hate this paranoid feeling..

like right now, i've my keys.. phone, mosquitoe spray, baseball batt and some knives on my table.. Just in case!!

This is damn stupid... i need to get over this paranoia.. its eating up my life..

mini wishlist with big big budgets..

~sulynn — Sun, 13 Nov 2005 00:50:43 PST

its a bit too early for Christmas, but I wanted to give Santa an earlier notice

Dear Santa,
I made a wishlist last year, you barely touched one.. Well, maybe atleast one. Last year's christmas wishlist was so CHEAP. And you so totally ignored it.. Nvm, i'll post you a new Christmas list this year. It's a bit early, but yeah.. SO THAT U'LL GET ME THOSE PRESSIES IN TIME!! and be well prepared before the BIG DAY arrives . Now, I would like to have the things below.. Starting from #1 which is the eaisest task for you to #10 which is the hardest or rather, impossible. Try ur best u fat red pig!!!

1. Get my dad to buy me a one year subscription for dA (i told u it's easy)
2. That brown cargo pants and bling bling T at Topshop
3. An Ipod Shuffle (get it in Singapore, it's cheaper!)
4. Nike Air force dei!!! I the green one
5. I want a KING SIZE bed
6. A new PC (preferably Apple Mac.. Ooh the white one!)
7. A Canon 350D
8. New flat screen TV. The big ones u can hang on ur wall without wires
9. That Mini Cooper by BMW (i like the red one)
10. A new house.

haha, nah... i'm just playing! Though I would like to have the 1st 3 a lot.. *hints* I'm working my butt off the get an Ipod shuffle.. I told my dad to chip in a few hundrer bux.. He's like noooooo. Man >___<

I managed to play with the camera my brother brought home that day. It was that Canon 350D digital slr camera. It was so cool! I hope my brother would let me have a swing with it this weekend.

And my monitor had some problems this morning.. I was designing a menu for my project, and suddenly the entire screen went black and there was this fine white line across the middle. So, there goes my monitor. I have a few spare ones in the backroom but their tiny. My monitor's a 17 inch (i think) screen, now it's reduced to a 13 inch. Everything looks so mini. Lolx ^__^

I sleep on a single bed, it's not that I hate sleeping on it. It's really comfy, but my legs are too long and I keep falling off the bed. Especially if I had this exciting dream of being chased by a dog. >___<

What a day, i cut my hair again. The curls are gone i guess. I don't have a camera with me.. It's spoilt again, my lcd had some problems and i've yet to send it in for repair. I don't have my tripod with me either. Cause the head broke. I feel so naked without those 2 things. Don't even know when I'm gona get em back. I keep borrowing my friends camera. It's not nice though, cause if you loose it or damage it. U have to pay >__<

Oh, it's gona rain.. Brb

after math... u blardee shitty robbers..

~sulynn — Sat, 05 Nov 2005 08:52:52 PST

its been 6 days after the robbery incident... i'm feeling better, but extremely paranoid...

It's difficult for me to sleep at night, or at any other time.. especially in my very own room.. i don't know why.. but prolly dat's how paranoia works.. Everytime i pass by the kitchen, i look at the ceiling where he came from.. And everytime I come home, or rather WE (my family) comes home... we kinda get afraid cause the robber might be in the house..

Do u know what does it feel like to be not safe in your very own home?

The only few feelings i can describe would be scared, annoyed, PISSED OFF, paranoid, and... i dono... just so damn sad...

Malaysia's police are a bunch of retards... I'm telling u this cause they DON'T seem to give 2 about whether u got robbed or not.. Prolly that's because they get 10 or more houses getting robbed everyday.. And they don't get any commision for catching a thief..

I think the Government should do some promotion to encourage these police men to go out there and catch these robbers, like maybe:
1. Catch 1 robber = a police will get a police bike for free
2. Catch 2 robbers = will get a police car for free

I don't know man.. this is like wtf... remember i said something bout the "forensic" team in my last post...? yeah.. Maybe i've been watching too much CSI but this "TEAM" of 2 "FORENSIC" retards came to house.. for a photo shoot.. i had no idea what they were snapping.. but i'd like to have their camera.. Don't police take finger prints to find out which criminal that was? Is Malaysia's technology that bad?

I'm so frustrated.. I think my parents are equally frustrated as well.. That very night, before we went to sleep.. My mum was like.. "Place some pins on the table, so he'd stepped on em and climb back up the roof"

And my dad was like.. "Hey girl.. I bought you a baseball bat.."
I was complaining that we didn't have any weapons in our rooms.. I wanted a mosquitoe spray so i could spray it on the robber's eyes... That will definitely blind him for life..

My parents wanted me to sleep in their room, so I was like "lets hang something on the door, so if he opens it'll drop and make a loud noise.. den we can go out and catcht the fcker.."

We spent 2 hours planning how to trap the robber if he would've come back again.. That's how paranoid we were! I really wanted to whack the robber until he died if we managed to trap him..

I'm so damn pissed right now.. Though i'm glad that i'm not hurt and stuff like that.. but I hated that incident cause it makes me so damn paranoid.. Makes me think bout things i never thought about before..

I try to think that prolly this incident was a good thing after all.. that I shouldn't take certain things for granted.. and yeah.. it really reminds u that life IS precious..

BUT I STILL WANT TO KILL THAT FCKER!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

today, 31.10.05

~sulynn — Sun, 30 Oct 2005 21:02:57 PST

It's 12.23pm now... and its raining cats and dogs outside...

2 hours ago,
my parents and a friend went out for breakfast..

2 hours ago,
i was still sleeping in my room

2 hours ago,
my house got robbed...

the story goes like this...
The ceiling of my room was leaking pretty badly.. I got irritated cause the water was dripping on some papers and it was making an annoying sound.. I woke up from my bed, and went to the toilet to look for a bucket so dat i could atleast stop the drops of water from dripping further..

I got out of my room, and realized dat the house was extremely quiet for a Monday morning.. normally my mum would turn on some Gospel music or chat on the phone.. but today, I was home alone..

I proceeded out of my room, and walked towards my parents room.. I saw their room light on.. I wasn't wearing my glasses so i couldn't see properly, but the room looked like it was in a mess..

I thought my mum was doing spring cleaning.. and walked to the front of the door.. but I saw someone squatting down on the floor, ruffling through my mum's drawer.. I wanted to shout HEY!!! but I don't know why, I just kept quiet.. thank God i did...

The robber's back was facing me.. so he didn't notice i was there. I ran back to my room.. and ledged my door.. I called my dad, and asked him.. Is there any visitor in the house.. He said no. I told him that there's someone in his room.. My dad said "You keep urself locked in the room, and don't come out.. I'm on my way" I didn't know where my dad was coming from? So it could take him sometime to reach the house, so I texted my neighbour "There's a robber in my house now, pls help me"

I was shivering and panicking on the bed.. I wanted to puke.. but i didnt dare make a sound... all I did was sit in my bed, and watch the door with a stick in my hand as some form of protection...

I could hear the robber shuffling through the guest room.. I left my bag in the living hall, i could hear him throwing stuff on the table.. Then he tried turning the knob of my door.. he tried twice! I could see his shadow from where i was sitting.. A few minutes after that.. my dad came back.. and shouted for my name.. he quickly opened the gate and dashed into the house with a baseball batt...

I could hear the robber running around, trying to escape asap... He broke in through the roof, and escaped through the roof as well.. my dad wanted to chase after dat mofo.. but i don't think he's capable of climbing onto the roof.. besides, the robber could be armed with knives or something.. I told my dad to forget it and call the cops.. 10.45pm my neighbour came along with his dad.. around 15 minutes later.. the cops came. Now it's 12.41pm we're waiting for some "forensic" team to come over.. but it's been almost 40 minutes and they're not here...

My dad's feeling frustrated, my mum's telling the neighbours that I'm still safe and alive... And me.. I'm here blogging my feelings out...

2 hours ago I cried.. I panicked and I almost drove myself crazy..
Now, I just need to get over the feeling of anxiety...

I have a few things running through my head,
What if i thought it was really my mum in that room, and I shouted MUM! Would the robber turn around and slit my throat?

What if there was 2 robbers in the house, one at the back and one in the room.. Would I be stuck?

It's freaky.. I tried to go back to sleep, but I can't.. So blogging could probably help cool myself down. I puked twice, but it made me feel better.

Time passes by really fast, I never expected my October to end this way.. But yeah, I'm glad I'm still here alive.. unharmed

The robber only stole cash that my dad left in the drawer.. But that was a lot of cash.. >___<

It's 12.57pm the "forensic" team is already here.. I gtg

Thanks for reading, I'm fine..

Well, hope Novemeber will start off well

Jap classes

~sulynn — Wed, 12 Oct 2005 07:41:24 PDT

Learning Japanese is harder than it seems..

I went for my 1st Japanese class today.. and it drained my brain dry.
1st we tried pronounicing the hiragana words.. lemme give u an example

English = A E I O U
Hiragana = A I U E O [pronounced as AH EE OO EH OH]

den we went on saying, KA KI KU KE KO... SA SI SU SE SO.. and etc. saying it isnt dat hard.. but it's pretty difficult to remember the Hiragana characters. My sensei's a japanese, and i think she can barely speak english.. prolly basic ones.. so its pretty hard to communicate with her, she uses the board and pictures alot to explain to us.. Sometimes she uses body language.

So this is wat i've learned for 2 hours:
Hajimemashte licia des. Yoroshiku onegaishimas.
(My name is licia, nice meeting you [something like dat])

ãã = a sa = morning
ã²ã = hi ru = noon
ãã = yo ru = nite
ãã¿ã¾ããã = sumimasen = excuse me
ãã¯ãããããã¾ã = ohayou gozaimasu = good morning
ãããã¿ãªãã = oyasumi nasai = good night

haha! for 2 hours, we were doing dat.. Ka ki ku ke ko.. ba bi bu be bo.. ga gi gu ge go.. at some point, u start feeling like a retard.. haha.. this is only Hiragana.. they have like Katakana and Kanji.. lolx..

this jap class is gona be fun

interpreting dreams

~sulynn — Fri, 02 Sep 2005 04:19:42 PDT

for the past few weeks.. ive been having trouble trying to fall asleep.. i dont know since when i've been suffering from a blardee insomnia but watever it is.. its pissing me off..

it takes me 2 to 3 hours just to fall asleep.. sometimes i go in to bed at 11.. i end up sleeping around 1 - 2am..

anyway.. i've been having weird dreams lately.. all of em seem to be bout pets and animals.. i'll try and describe to u guys.. wats my dream like.. and u guys try and help me interpret them.. orite?

dream #1
my toilet had this snake.. i had to kill it b4 it causes some disaster upon my family.. so, i killed it with a broom.. and it died.. the snake was somewhat.. greenish and red in colour.. i overturned the snake.. and it had like 3 sokets on its belly.. but in the dream, its where the eggs pop out or someting.. and i had to crush the snake's belly b4 the babies come out.. i did, and like u drop an egg onto the floor.. dats how it looked like when i stabed the edge of the broomstick into the snake's belly.. anyway, there was this lil thing dat look like a worm.. moving about.. and i crushed it dead.. den i woke up... herm... -.-

dream#2
this is so ironic.. i dont know why... but the dream started like this.. i was dressed in black.. and i was riding this black horse... but it felt like there was some1 coming after me... and there was this grey horse with some1 dressed in grey riding on it.. chasing behind my back.. the feeling i had dat time, was to run away.. and hide somewhere, so dat blardee grey thing cant find me.. overall the atmosphere was like i was in hell.. but it wasnt hot.. just really dark..

dream#3
i cant really recall wat was the dream like.. but there was this red tortoise i owned... and it stuck its head out when i looked at it...

some of my friends told me dat snakes brings fortune.. some said it represents the devil..

i personally felt that the black horse was something like a bad presence..

and i think turtles bring fortune

hehehe

holidays

~sulynn — Tue, 09 Aug 2005 00:46:16 PDT

i'm having a 1 month semester break.. i went on a few trips with my family around the country.. did my holidays locally.. i dont know whether to say it was fun, or not?

i spend most of my holidays around the beach.. that's why u seem to get me posting lotsa beach pictures.. i'm sorry that most of the pictures are in Sepia.. but i like it

my dad was actually working, and he just brought us along.. it was holiday for me and my mum.. but not for my dad... most of the time my dad would be out meeting clients.. my mum would rather stay inside the hotel.. and i'd be somewhere around the beach.. sounds lonely huh? not exactly though, i've my camera.. my books.. and music... its fine.. but i do admit, it can be a bit lonely at times...

its fun to be enjoying everything on your own.. i acknowledge myself as being a very selfish person.. but after a while, its like ur the onli 1 having fun and there's no1 around you to share that happiness with..

well maybe i just wanted some1.. just 1, to accompany me though... im glad dat i have my family around me.. but it wasnt them i wanted with me on the beach, i wanted some1 else... a friend? a bf? a gf? an anonymous person? i dont know..

i really like to be alone, and ignore everything else around me.. i really do.. perhaps, it makes me feel good i like that.. living in my own world... haha... but i think i still need friends to create some drama into my life...

do i sound like a very boring person to you? i admit i am boring at times... hehe...

thanx for reading my whines.. its 1 way to express my feelings..

being a smart aleck

~sulynn — Thu, 28 Jul 2005 02:02:07 PDT

argh... i curled my hair.. and it became a disaster.. =.='''

now i miss my long straight hair..

let me give u guys a good laugh..
i was brushing my hair the other nite.. and the comb got stuck onto my hair.. i tried to untanggle it.. but it didnt seem to come out.. and i'm like omfl.. wtf am I to do now? it's like 1.30 am, there's no saloon opened at this hour..

so, i woke my mum up.. and she was basically pulling the comb outta my hair.. u have no idea how fkin painfull dat was... so, i wet my hair.. hoping it would be easier to take the comb out.. but NO it was still stuck.. den we tried using olive oil.. my mum used up half the bottle.. and NO the comb still didn't come out..

in the end, both of us gave up... so i had to sleep with the comb connected to my hair, until the next morning.. and no.. i didn't have a good sleep dat day... everything wasn't going well dat particular day..

1st, i had a sarcastic argument with my brother's gf... it made me realized that some women don't have to be blonde to be stupid...

2nd, i had a comb stuck to my head for the entire night

3rd, i had an anonymous phone call... least i expected it was coming from my friend's gf... and there u go, im a relationship wrecker.. thnx alot...

4th, i'm sick... i've like high fever, flu, dry cough, and soar throat.. all in 1... Geez, i couldn't wake up the next day.. my body was aching all over... >_< thank God im so much better right now.. other than my throat though.. it's so screwed..

i shall leave the past behind, and look forward to a brand new day... though i still dread the day i went and curl my hair.. becuase i wanted to be "adventures". Oh well, looks like i've to wait till it grows.. maybe in 6 months time? pfftt.. and i'll snip it off... ah fck.. so much for being a smart aleck...

dying

~sulynn — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 05:49:32 PDT

i think its been 2 months since i last made a visit to the mall to shop or walk around...

i went to the mall today.. it was crowded with ppl.. i felt dizzy after sometime.. and the people there were dressed with so much colour on their clothes.. @_@ my eyes can onli take 2 colours at a time.. seriously... some of em were dressed like clowns... and there were swarms of them at one go... my head was spinning reali bad...

i cant really stand crowds.. really, when im in a concert i get friends surrounding me, making sure i don't die. lol.. but i bought something though, after 3 hours? i bought a pair of black earrings...

i need to get my ear hole expanded again.. if u guys didn't know.. i have an enlarged ear hole on my right ear.. nah, don't worry.. it's not 2cm in diameter.. its barely 1cm, i had it enlarged when i was 15. And throughout my highschool days, ppl thought i was digusting and weird.. well sorry if i'm not u

i don't know how large i can expand it though.. the last time i asked the expert, he feared that i might rip off my own ear...

i'm tired, exhausted.. although the crowd made me sick but I had fun observing people. Makes u realized u're not so weird after all i haven't done that in a long time.... haha.. dat's one way u can make urself feel better >_< criticizing & poking fun @ others..

the irritating part was that some people just won't budge and cause a jam in the middle of the main road... and i don't like it.. i don't like people blocking my way, or stepping on my foot.. if your dat kinda person, i DONT LIKE YOU bite me... sorry...

i gtg meet a friend now, she's leaving to aus.. though im dying of exhaustion.. but its worth meeting some1 that u haven't seen and miss in a long while

u guys should dload this song by Keane - We Might As Well Be Strangers...