http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:superkudos&section=today deviantART RSS for by:superkudos en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 18 Dec 2009 08:30:44 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/17167363/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/17167363/ Mon, 03 Mar 2008 15:58:57 PST
five mos yesterday...

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/16370512/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/16370512/ Sat, 12 Jan 2008 10:26:30 PST


3 mos 2day


+)

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/16151802/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/16151802/ Sat, 29 Dec 2007 11:53:41 PST
Well, we were being sappy and stuff and saying how he'd take me to Germany and all this stuff, and about how my dad wants me to study abroad for a year in college (which is something I would like to do, to, if only money would allow). Paul said he'd go wherever I went, even if he didn't become an air force pilot, which is his dream.

I said he needed to follow what he wanted to do, not me, and to follow his dream of becoming a pilot and blah, blah, blah, and then he goes, "Well, you're my dream."

A shot of adreniline and giddiness shot through me, and then I got really lightheaded. I loved it last night, but todayI've come to realize that me being his dream meant marriage, and I know I'm just a teenager who hasn't even been together with her man for half a year, but still, MARRIAGE...? I'm afraid of comitment. I think I am, really. I can't imagine marrying Paul, I don't want to, I don't think I even can...

Well, like I said, fifteen and three months of dating...I don't need to be thinking about this. Wait until college is over. What am I thinking??

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15746804/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15746804/ Sat, 01 Dec 2007 09:16:22 PST
And he said he loves me right back.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15559098/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15559098/ Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:50:29 PST
There was a home game at Carroll on Friday against Salina Central, one of the toughest teams around (we won-17-7). I spent my time in the student section with Paul and his really hilarious/obnoxious/guy friends. They kept messing around and pushing each other off the really wobbly/narrow stands and into some guy in a leather jacket that I really felt bad for since he was in the way of Sam the Squirrell and Michael (or is it David, I can't remember-he's from Northwest) when they fell.

Well, Paul was being really affectionate and kept holding my hand and keeping my close and stuff. Then I told him how during lunch Ben, Jordynn, Emily, Vannessa, me, and sometimes Stephanie the sopmore play spin the bottle. And he goes, "Awww, you play it without me?" And I say, "Well, you have 3rd lunch. I can't help that." And I rest my head on his shoulder. "Sometimes we ask it who's gay or who's gonna go Oedipus and kill their dad and sleep with their mom." Cause we're reading that in English right now. Then I paused and said, "And Emily asked it who's gonna get kissed at the game."

He squeezed my hand and asked me who it landed on, and I said me. Then he gave me a big hug and smiled.

At the end of the game he asks me if he can have a kiss goodbye. So I give him a peck on the lips and almost fall off the bleachers because I got so lightheaded. He rested his head on my shoulder until Sam the Squirrell told Trent and Trent went and blabbed it to all of Paul's friends, like Ryan and Sam the Hitchhiker and Michael/David and everyone. It was frickin hillarious, I must admit.

Trent got in our faces and kept yelling "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH" while Paul tried to punch him away. I kept covering my mouth and Trent goes, "Ha! She's got a blushy face on--and so does Paul!"

At the gate he asked if he could have another kiss goodbye, and I went ahead and gave him one. He's out at some camp right now over the weekend and I can't wait for him to call me. I can't wait for Thanksgiving break to be over with so I can see him again!!!

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15357796/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15357796/ Sun, 04 Nov 2007 07:42:59 PST
Also, Paul joined deviantART a few days ago, but he doesn't have any deviantations yet because a power cord hasn't come in for the computer yet and plus he needs to fix his family's laptop. His name's slvrshadow. So yeah.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15341844/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15341844/ Sat, 03 Nov 2007 06:55:29 PDT
Last night was the Carroll-Newton football game. Carroll won, of course: 47-6, I think. Paul and I hung out a lot, holding hands and wrapping our arms around each other and all, and this morning Dad questioned me about that. He said he didn't see any other freshman girls hugging onto their boys, but then he must have been blind last night because Angela, some girl that's dating Jordan, Keira, and some other girl were all displaying signs of PDA. I know I wasn't the only one, and neither were they.

Emily's upset because she wants to break up with Cameron. She just wants to be his friend. I told her that if she does it, it's gonna be Chris and me all over again. She doesn't believe me, she just wants to break up and stuff. So Paul's gonna break the news to Cameron over the weekend, I think. I just hope this doesn't spin out of control.

Cassie asked Paul and me if we've made out yet, and it was kind of funny. Kind of.

"So, have you two made out yet?"

"What?"

"Have you two made out yet?"

"Uhh...no."

"Have you even kissed?"

"No..."

"Why not? There's the bleachers--go behind them. Go on, go!"

"Cassie, I'm not ready. I mean, we haven't even been together for two weeks (today's our two-week anniversary). I'm not ready."

Paul didn't really say anything the whole time. I mean, I wouldn't mind kissing him, it's just...I'm afraid to. Mostly because I'm afraid I'll be a bad kisser, but also because I've never done it before. Huh

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15248706/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15248706/ Sat, 27 Oct 2007 19:56:44 PDT
I really wanted Paul to come, but Mom didn't. I don't know if she likes me having a boyfriend so much. I mean, maybe she's happy for me, but about the only thing I can do with him is talk on the phone and AIM him. That's about it.

Anyway, I dressed up as someone that was supposed to be Emo, but it came out looking something a little more than Emo but a little less than Goth. Either way, I really liked it and even think I look a little cool in it. But, then again, I am slightly demented so maybe what I see is different from what others take in.

I went outside to talk to Paul on my cell for thirty minutes. I really wanted to, but wasn't sure if he'd be as thrilled to talk to me as I would be to talk to him. Well, Sarah eventually got me to do it and we had a great time. I told him a little white lie about Emily asking why we didn't hold hands and stuff so he said that maybe we could start on Monday. We also talked about a bunch of other things. I kept having to fill in the empty spaces of silence with the most random things so he wouldn't get bored and hang up.

Jill, Lindsey, Angie, and Brianna talked to me about Chris, too. Jill said he talked a lot about me in Journalism, but nothing bad. She says he is really jealous of Paul and stuff, and Brianna says that since we were together for only three days it doesn't really count as a relationship, and Lindsey says she doesn't get the difference between a break and a break-up. Chris said we were on break, and I'm siding with Lindsey.

I won Paul a little Air Force ducky in an acivity thing. Paul wants to join the Air Force when he grows up...isn't that so daring and hot? I can't wait to give it to him. I really love that guy--I mean, I think I really do. I'm not sure, but then again, you'll never know!

EDIT: This just end: Saw a guy last night and thought it was Mr. Rowden, my old seventh grade religion teacher that left. Well, Nick just now realized that it was Mr. Cavendar, his third grade teacher.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15206147/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15206147/ Wed, 24 Oct 2007 18:05:45 PDT
I don't know what to do. Advice, anyone?

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15143176/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15143176/ Sat, 20 Oct 2007 12:10:01 PDT
This is twice as good as last journal entry because you know what? YOu know what? You know frickin what???!!!!!!!

PAUL LIKES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I broke up with Chris about thirty minutes ago over AIM. we're still Friends and all, and...and--but PAUL likes ME!!!!


I'm so frickin happy---happy happy happy happpy happy!!!!!!!


WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


We spent like an hour on AIM burning each other and whatnot, and then Chris gets on and we break up and i tell paul and he's mad because he didn't get a ticket to homecoming and and and then he asks if there's any other dances and i say sweetheart and something else but i'm not sure so then hes like you wanna go to them with me and i 'm like yeah yeah fo sho and and just stuff but before that he was like, i should have told you liked you meaning when i had told him i wanted to go to homecoming with him and i asked him like like a crush or like like a friend and he said crush and i'm like oh my gosh this is unreal.

fer totally world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15106249/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15106249/ Wed, 17 Oct 2007 18:27:48 PDT
K, there's this guy I met last week. Name's Chris Naylor. Dunno if I've talked about him at all. Well, I met him after school, and I got to kind of know him, and I thought I liked him but I wasn't sure because, well, we had just met. Well, we got to know each other a lot more, and he kept me up till eleven last night talking on the phone. We talked about everything, I swear-from drawing to reading to the War in Iraq to kissing.

He said we had a chemistry thing, that our personalities clicked and all that wonderful jazz. Well, today we talked all day because we were out early, and I asked him what he would say if i said I liked him. And he goes,

"What would you say if I liked you?"

"Are you asking that to me or to you?"

"You."

"I, uh...Do you like me, or like, like-like me?"

"Like, like-like."

"So...what happens next?"

"I don't know."

"Well, you've had girlfriends before, you have experience."

"I don't know..."

"Do we say we're girlfriend and boyfriend, or just wait?"

"I've always done it now..."

"So...we're boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

Oh. Man.

We spent about another two hours talking, and he said we should pick a song. I told him I thought people only had a song when a song was playing during their first kiss together, and he said he liked that idea better. So...it's official. Christopher Naylor is my first. Ever. Boyfriend.

Yes.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15019001/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/15019001/ Thu, 11 Oct 2007 17:43:32 PDT
Across the Universe

Sweeney Todd.


Random thoughts. Sorry.

Broke Josh's bookbag. Got a hug from Chris Naylor. Over Paul.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14951543/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14951543/ Sun, 07 Oct 2007 07:13:32 PDT
"So...uh...P-Paul, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"I uh...um...I was wondering if-if you'd like to be, my, y'know...my b-b-boy-boyf-f-f..."

"Your date to Homecoming? I'm not realy going."

"I-I-I know, but...I mean-Aw, man, I'm so s-sorry, I've never done this before."

*no answer*

"I mean...I was wondering if you'd like to be my b-b-b-boyfriend, but if not if we could still be f-f-friends..."

"Mmmmm..."

And it kind of went like that. So, I guess we're still friends, because after gym class he came up and tapped me on the soulder again, like he does every day. So I guess we're cool. I'd probably die of embarrassment and misery, knowing a great pal of mne knew I liked him but he diddn't like me back and things would be awkward from then on out, but then I think about Jordynn and Matt, and how Jordynn really likes him and he knows it, but they're still friends.

After school Andrew Dang, the cutest, funniest Asian I've ever met next to Toby K, waved me over and asked me what Paul said. I told him he didn't say yes but he didn't say no either, and then my aunt honked and I had to go. Now what I'm afraid of is happening: I'm getting over Paul now that I know he doesn't like me.

I don't know what;s happening, but now I'm beginning to become "physically attracted" to Dang. I hate having to be in one constant crush after another, because I feel like I need a guy to make me happy, but if that's the way it's gonna be, then so be it.

I love Andrew and Toby-everyone does. They're so obnoxious and awesome, it's impossible not to not love them.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14886886/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14886886/ Tue, 02 Oct 2007 15:10:11 PDT
On another note, Emily says that Josh keeps looking at my chest. It's the second time in two days. I'm gonna watch out a little more now, to see if it's true. I'm gonna hafta think of something harsh that I can use if I ever call him out on it...

Maaaaaan...Homecoming's in three weeks. If he doesn't ask me in two, I'm gonna suck up the courage and ask him, whether I like it or not.

I wouldn't mind asking him, I just don't want to ruin our friendship...I cherish it too much to have it dashed to nothing...I'm also a little paranoid that President Kelly, who has a locker by him, likes him, too, or he likes her...same thing with Angela, the girl from camp, but...no, no, no! Must focus on the positive!!!!!!!!!! Rawr...

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14754040/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14754040/ Sun, 23 Sep 2007 08:04:20 PDT
Also, Carroll lost to East. Darn.

Josh keeps giving me a hard time about who I like and stuff. He wrote in my Drama book in ink M+P. What a goon. And he wrote some Algebra equation on my arm. Sometimes I wonder if he likes me, but then again, he does have ADHD so maybe that's just him.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14730178/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14730178/ Fri, 21 Sep 2007 15:00:19 PDT
I wish is was green. Or black. Or maybe even both.

PS. Dad's gonna host an afterparty after homecoming. He wants me to invite a lot of people, but i only want four: Emily, Sarah, Ben, and Paul. That's all I need. But what do you do at an afterparty other than talk and eat? If anyone happens to come by this, could you drop some advice for me?

And also, Paul thinks that I like techno better than rock, which is so untrue. He needs to stop by my page to see once and for all...

If I mess around with Paul's pal Brook, would he start to think that I like him? Cause I don't. I tried to kick his leg out from under him today and ran up behind him and halfway leapfrogged him and he considered me hitting him. I don't want Brook to think I like him...no, no, no!!!!

Fall Fest is tonight and this weekend! Can't wait!

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14718979/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14718979/ Thu, 20 Sep 2007 17:58:03 PDT
Psychologists Challenge Ethics Of Marketing To Children

Image by Adbusters. By Miriam H. Zoll
American News Service
When it comes to spending money on consumer goods, Madison Avenue apparently never underestimates the power of a whining child. And as the advertising industry increasingly aims commercial pitches directly at the very young, more and more companies are turning to child psychologists to help them hone their message.

Some specialists in child development and psychology are disturbed by the trend. Dr. Allen Kanner is one of them. A clinical child psychologist for nearly 20 years, Kanner works with children from the inner city and the wealthy suburbs. But regardless of where they come from, Kanner says, the children he sees share one thing in common: a growing, even insatiable, desire for material goods.

"In my practice I see kids becoming incredibly consumerist," said Kanner, who is based at the Wright Institute, a graduate psychology school in Berkeley, Calif. "The most stark example is when I ask them what they want to do when they grow up. They all say they want to make money. When they talk about their friends, they talk about the clothes they wear, the designer labels they wear, not the person's human qualities.

"I see parents in this context, too," Kanner continued. "They come to me and say their kids are depressed and ask for violent video games or the food they see on TV. Parents say they feel in conflict. They want to say no, but they don't want to have their child be upset with them."

It's not just the pervasiveness of marketing campaigns aimed at children, Kanner said. Nowadays advertisers are making their pitches to younger and younger audiences, many of them not yet out of diapers.

"We became concerned about this because the practice is mushrooming, and the age of the children targeted is dropping rapidly," he said. "It's about 2 years old now."

Do ads directed at toddlers work? According to Kanner, they do. "Recent studies have also shown that by the time they are 36 months old, American children recognize an average of 100 brand logos," he said.

Why are so children so prized in the ad wars? Companies know that's where their profits are, according to James U. McNeal, professor of marketing at Texas A&M University. McNeal says children represent three different strategies for making money. For one thing, children have money of their own to spend. But they also influence family spending decisions, and they're open to advertising campaigns designed to make them future consumers.

Children under 12 spent more than $24 billion of their own money in 1997, while directly influencing the spending of $188 billion more, McNeal reported in an April 1998 article in American Demographics. He estimates that by 2001, children's spending may reach $35 billion.

"In the 1960s, children aged 2 to 14 directly influenced about $5 billion in parental purchases," McNeal wrote. "In the mid-1970s, the figure was $20 billion, and it rose to $50 billion by 1984. By 1990, kids' direct influence had reached $132 billion, and in 1997, it may have peaked at around $188 billion. Estimates show that children's aggregate spending roughly doubled during each decade of the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s, and has tripled so far in the 1990s."

In an effort to protect children against aggressive marketing tactics, Kanner and other child advocates are taking aim at child psychologists who share their expertise with advertising and market research firms for a fee, helping them to tailor successful strategies that will reach America's youngest consumer group — and their parents.

The issue gained national attention last fall, when Kanner and 60 of his colleagues issued a public letter to the American Psychological Association. Signed by mental health professionals and scholars from institutions including Harvard Medical School, Cornell University and the University of Washington, the letter urges the APA to declare this practice unethical and recommends the association launch educational campaigns to heighten public awareness about the dangers advertising can pose for children.

"Advertising and marketing firms have long used the insights and research methods of psychology in order to sell products, of course," Kanner and his colleagues wrote to the APA. "But today these practices are reaching epidemic levels, and with a complicity on the part of the psychological profession that exceeds that of the past. The result is an enormous advertising and marketing onslaught that comprises, arguably, the largest single psychological project ever undertaken."

Still, there seems to be no shortage of psychologists willing to sign up as marketing consultants.

Gary Ruskin is the dir... ]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14490288/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14490288/ Tue, 04 Sep 2007 16:05:38 PDT [link] Do it. NOW!


Note to self: tell Paul about "Death Note: The Game Show." by SilentReaper.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14432381/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14432381/ Fri, 31 Aug 2007 21:08:30 PDT
]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14330820/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14330820/ Sat, 25 Aug 2007 08:15:39 PDT
Just his friend.

And Calelynn's thinking about moving in with her Dad because she hates her home life with her mom and stepdad right now. After what she told me, who wouldn't? I guess we're both in a low part of our lives right now, socially and emotionally. Man, I can't wait to move out.

I'm going to diet/fast. No snacking, no seconds, no nothing. I know I'm pretty and all, but I could afford to lose a few pounds.

Have you ever seen a priest dance? Like, really dance, like, to a song? With his ballcap backwards like a gangster? And then an emo guy and his pal doing some weird dance that was so funny? I can't wait for the next dance, but at least now I know not to act like such a turd just for a guy.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14305030/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14305030/ Thu, 23 Aug 2007 14:17:52 PDT
It hurts. I'm confused. High school infatuation stinks sometimes.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14228962/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14228962/ Sat, 18 Aug 2007 17:01:27 PDT
His name's Austin Armstrong, and it only took him until the second day to ask me for it.

Well, we met the day before on the first day of high school. He was carrying a load of books inside (he's got a lot of honors classes oP) and he dropped some. I helped him, he said thanks, said his name, and we went our ways. After school I was on my phone talking to Mom, and he came up to me (he had obviously been waiting) and double-checked on my name. I did the same.

Day Two: He sat by me at lunch, and gave me a dollar to get a water from the vending machine because I didn't know if you got it with lunch, which I missed because I waited too long to get in line, and I had to give it back because it didn't work. After school he was waiting with Ben (he and one other guy were guys I was thinking about crushing on instead of Austin, since he's not the hottest boy around but still sweet--you know the type) at the end of the hall and came up to me and asked if I got lunch. I had a tiny, tiny, tiny salad and half a bottle of water and was still full. I said yeah. Then he asked for my number!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And he's on the football team, too, if that's a bonus or anything. He had to go because of practice.

He left and I walked with Ben outside and I couldn't stop smiling. When I told Mom in the car, I had a perma-grin and was hyperventalating.

Unfortunately, he didn't call last night. Or today. Mom and Dad say he might've chickened out, or his mom said no, or any number of things, but I can't wait to get to school. I want to...I want to hold his hand and glomp him and--and--oh, jeez, look at me! I sound like such a lovesick teenage girl--which I am! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

But if it's for Austin, it's worth it. If there was an emoticon for being lovestoned, that's what I'd put for my mood.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14198942/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14198942/ Thu, 16 Aug 2007 16:01:20 PDT

Interesting

Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death!

Make a personal reflection about this.....

Very interesting, read until the end.....
It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Here are some men and women who mocked God :

John Lennon (Singer):
Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:

"Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain.

Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, Today we are more famous than Him" (1966).

Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil ):
During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.

Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.

Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):
During A show in Canecio (Rio de Janeiro ),
while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: "God, that's for you."

He died at the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner.

The man who built the Titanic
After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be.

With an ironic tone he said: "Not even God can sink it"

The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic

Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.
He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: "I don't need your Jesus".

A week later, she was found dead in her apartment

Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang: "Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell".

On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.

Campinas (IN 2005)
In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend.....
The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car:

"My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.."
She responded: "Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, Cause Inside Here.....It's Already Full "

Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.

The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken .

Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer) said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written.

In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle ..

Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus.

Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.

"Jesus"

P.S: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone. So are you going to have courage to send this?.

I have done my part, Jesus said

"If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you before my father."

You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way!

I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! Bishop T.D. Jakes "8 Second Prayer." Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!

"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen."

Pass this message to 8 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}. You will receive a miracle tomorrow. I Hope that you don't ignore and let God bless you ..

Barbara B. Payne

----


In other news, my first day of high school was today, and ten bucks says I'm going to have a date for the Back to School Dance next Friday. The guy's not the cutest boy around, but still, he's nice. I helped him pick up his books before... ]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14168182/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14168182/ Tue, 14 Aug 2007 16:51:07 PDT
Well, there was this old guy with glass serving out samples of the absolute BEST pistaccio ice cream I've EVER had (it actually had pistaccios, can you beleive it???). Anyway, he was serving it up, and when the four of us walks by, he says, "Ice cream."

Nick goes, "What?"

He goes, "You heard me. Ice cream."

So we go over there and he gives Nick, Ben, and Jack a sample of that heavenly goodness. He doesn't give me one, and I don't really care because I'm trying to cut down on sweets, but still, I'm curious as to why that is. I find out soon enough.

Two little boys come over and ask for some. He says their parents need to tell him its okay. A little girl and boy go up and the same thing happens. Parents' permission. He thought I was my brothers' mom, even though I had a loose-fitting shirt from when I was 10 and shorts and a pink ribbon-gone-headband. If anything, I looked like I was 13.

We laugh and joke about it on the way to Mom, and Nick tells her how the guy gave us the goods and that I got mistaken for their parent. Then we start calling Mom Grandma and Nick says, "Jeez, Madison, so when you turn 18 you're gonna have gray hairs and walking around with a cane and walker."

See, I'm not kidding when I say I'm often mistaken for being way older than I really am.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14152331/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14152331/ Mon, 13 Aug 2007 16:15:01 PDT
]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14101708/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14101708/ Fri, 10 Aug 2007 07:32:01 PDT
Because of this immense embarrassment I have right now, I have the need to say (once more) that I feel like such a HP fangirl. I'm not use to faving so much fanart about one subject, especially one character...in this case, Snape XD. But I guess I shouldn't care because, I mean, if I like the stuff, then shouldn't I favorite it? Right? RIGHT?????

Ahem.


XD





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]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14091206/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14091206/ Thu, 09 Aug 2007 13:46:37 PDT
Also, yesterday I went to registration and got my locker set up and whatnot. I've never had a locker before and had the hardest time trying to get it open. So Papa bought me a lock to practice on. I'm getting better.

I've been thinking back to American Pie commercials for some reason. I remember seeing the main guy sitting in front of a mangled pie looking really embarrassed and all. I know it has to do with sex, but...Did the dude actually have sex with the pie?????? I mean, that's just gross, I mean, c'mon!!!!

Also got in touch with my nature...ish (?) side this afternoon. Sat outside on the curb for ten or something minutes just listening to some guy mowing his lawn and the birds chirping and the locust droning on and on and on and on and...you get it. Anyway, it really calmed me down. It was so peaceful. What a great way to celebrate the last days of summer.

And only three days until my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14044488/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14044488/ Mon, 06 Aug 2007 13:30:31 PDT



[ oh, yeah, and only 6 days until my b-day!!!! ]

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14033387/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/14033387/ Sun, 05 Aug 2007 19:12:36 PDT
Well, I went to Journeys a few days ago at the mall. I was by myself because Ben had a ortho appointment and everyone went with him and Mom except me, so I got to stay at the mall aaaaaaaall by myself. Well, I went to Journeys to look around and stuff, and one of the workers there comes up to me and says, "Hey, I like your shirt. I've never seen one that just has a pig on it." Cause I was wearing my Pink Floyd shirt and all. "Is is fuzzy?"

"Uh...yeah." I backed away a bit and wandered over to look at guys' shoes.

He followed me and said. "So...you like Etnies?"

"Yeah..."

He led me over to the girls' side and picked out a pair that the typical girly-girk would like. I shook my head. "Man, I don't have any money."

He put them away and was like, "All right, all right."

So I'm looking around, burning some time, and he sticks by me and says, "So...you a party girl?"

"Huh-wha-?"

"Are you a CRAZY party girl?"

I scoot away from him. "No way!" I shake my head some more and laugh nervously. "No way, that's not me."

"What school're you going to?"

"Bishop Carroll."

"Ah, so you're a Catholic girl."

I've heard the deal about Catholic girls being crazy sex-starved sleep-with-any-boy chicks. That thing, you know? "Yeah...?" I asked, trying not to get too nervous.

"What grade are you going in?"

"Ninth..."

"How old are you?"

"I'm gonna be fifteen on the twelveth..."

He backed away, utterly astounded, and called himself an a-hole. "Woah, I'm sorry," He apologized. "I'm so sorry...I thought you were, like, 22 or something..."

"Yeah," I chuckled awkwardly, "I get that a lot." And I got the heck out of there.

I tried to avoid that store for the rest of the time I was there, but I wasn't paying attention one time and I wandered past it while the dude was standing outside it. He said, "Hey, you're back!" and gave me two thumbs up. I laughed to humor him and sped up.

When I went to the mall next week for school shoes I saw him at Journeys again. He just looked at me and went to the back room. My best guess is to masterbate or something. But I hope it was to unpack shoes or shirts or something XD.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13873050/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13873050/ Wed, 25 Jul 2007 11:23:20 PDT
I know that the chances of someone actually bothering to want to read my journal are zero to none, but to make myself feel better, I just want to say that I'm not a drama queen-the world does not hate me, I have talent, and I love the world...mostly. I know that some of the things I've said in my journal entries make me sound like a loser, but just for the record, I ain't no drama queen. That's my sister.

And I can't believe less than a month until school starts!!!!

And I also read the last HP book. It was good, but, gosh, I was expecting Harry to die. I was like, "Well, this is a let-down." What a shame.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13806621/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13806621/ Fri, 20 Jul 2007 09:48:05 PDT
Went on a bunch of day trips with Grandmom and Granddad last weekend. Had fun. A lot of fun. Got invited to Aunt Lauren's baby shower. First kid. Congrats, Laurnie.

Been more boy crazy lately. Don't like it. Too distracting. Puberty is the pits. It's ironic because I want a boyfriend soooooooooo badly because I've never had one and I want to know what it's like, but I want to live a single life as an adult. I can't get married, can't have kids.

Got an idea that I'm getting a digital camera and a notebook laptop for Christmas. Going to get bedsheets for my birthday, and something else that's electronic, but I can't remember what it is.

At Six Flags I almost got a bf. A worker there about 16 took my poster and ran away from me, hiding behind the TVs and stuff and wacking me on the butt and putting it between his legs and stuff. I made a grab for it and touched his butt. He said, "Oh, grabby, grabby." Kinky, but oh-so fun. My mom was there, too, right in front of us. I gave her this weird look, like, "What's he doing?" and she said, "Madison, it's called flirting." We left once I got it and my stepsister and Nick tried to help me get his e-mail address and all, but Mom wouldn't let us go back. It sucked. For the rest of the night I was bummed out. And mad. But I'm better now.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13566845/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13566845/ Sun, 01 Jul 2007 17:06:01 PDT
Isn't this ridiculous, not even knowing who I am? I mean, I don't even know my personality any more. I go from being my old self to this...other person and it's just...weird. And not even that, there's more personalities in between. And I'm not talking about when PMS comes around and I'm moody and grumpy, this is different times, and I'm not moody or grumpy.

Well, I looked up Multiple Personality Disorder, and I don't have it, thank goodness. Maybe I'm just being paranoid or just another teenager that thinks she needs attention. I don't know. Whatever the case, I'm sure this'll all get figured out someday in my life.

Oh, yeah. I'm not used to carrying around a purse, ya know? And, well, I brought it to church, ya know? And well, I kinda forgot it. So I had to call Fr. Doug...yikes...and he said he'd put it in the office for me to pick up. You know how embarrassed I was? Uber embarrassed. Calling Fr. Doug...jeez...I'm still embarrassed. I just feel stupid. Who forgets their purse, I mean COME ON!!

And Grandmom and Granddad have decided that they aren't going to take us on our trip to SD. I'm sad. Kind of. Not really. But still. We'll have just gotten back from a trip with Mom from St. Louis and all and I guess they don't want to feel overshadowed or something because we're seeing a rock with faces with them and with mom we're going to 6 Flags and Great Wolf Lodge and the Arch and stuff...I feel bad for them, really. I mean, every time they get us a gift, someone on the Bennett side ends up getting us the same things or something like it. And it's okay to me, but, you know...I want to go... ]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13447264/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13447264/ Fri, 22 Jun 2007 13:19:57 PDT
For starters, Kelsy and my pal Angie (who really isn't my pal anymore because she's gone from angel to snot on me in five days) were up all last night (Thursday night) looking for the mattresses that some of the guy counselors Andrew and Anthony hid all over the camp. I'm not sure if RJ and Ben had anything, but knowing Ben I'm sure he joined in as well. They put two on the Isolation Shed, I think (its the old boating shed that had all the canoes in it and stuff but ever since camp flooded six weeks ago it got moved over to the other side of camp by the water). My cabin's counselor, Erin, went to get it, and got "jumped" by Andrew. He took a canoe and tried to tip her over in the middle of the lake in the middle of the night. He's a seminarian but for a soon-to-be priest, he sure takes things too far.

There were like four around the bus, some in a remote corner of the camp that no one would have found if Kelsy and Angie didn't get lucky.

While everyone was running around and junk, I was sitting in the back of the cabin, packing my bags, and getting great enjoyment out of the drama that the guys had caused.

Earlier that day Monica, Anastasia, and ReyAnn had a food fight with Andrew and Anthony with mustard, ketchup, and ranch.

I had a heart-to-heart talk with my new pal Kelsie/Kayla? and she said that she was bi, and I told her I was fine with that. We were all alone in the cabin with no one around, and I did kind of get a little uncomfortable, but it wasn't like I would never be her friend. For the first time in my life, that night I danced, and she was right beside me.

Kayla got to run with RJ early in the morning, the heartthrob of the guys, and we were joking with her about it. Kelsy said that she could lead him to some place and there'd be a table with candles and a fancy breakfast set up with them. To her pleasure, she found out they're only six/five years apart...hmm...We'd date him in an instant, fo' sho, foo'.

There was a bunch of stupid stuff that everyone did. Made me laugh, it did. I'm sad I left. We all were. We'd like to just take a break this weekend and then come back on Monday.

I met a lot of friends and want to email them. I gotta call Dad, too.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13352504/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13352504/ Fri, 15 Jun 2007 07:05:26 PDT
I've gotta stop getting on the computer for so long. MY brain is rotting from the inside out and I can't remember that much anymore. Maybe that week at camp will do me some good.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13343498/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13343498/ Thu, 14 Jun 2007 13:52:43 PDT
]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13331124/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13331124/ Wed, 13 Jun 2007 15:03:48 PDT
I'M SO DEPRESSED!

Oh, yeah, I'm grounded from my iPod. Mom didn't know what to ground me for, so I said, "How about my iPod?" So, I'm grounded. I haven't been grounded in forever.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13282581/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13282581/ Sat, 09 Jun 2007 20:13:56 PDT
Yeah, I watched about thirty minutes of "Downfall." Jimminy Christmas, what a trip. I hate war movies. I always feel contaminated and like I've been doing the shooting and whatnot. Hate it. But that's an interesting flick, no doubt about that.

I don't know if I've been noticing it more or what, but it seems like Dad's been drinking a lot more lately. I'm still afraid he might be an alcoholic, but as long as he doesn't get drunk around us I guess I really shouldn't care.

I wonder if I'm getting addicted to deviantART. I think I am, because every time I get on the Internet, I get on to get on deviantART. Oh, well.

You know, I don't get it. Everyone tells me how pretty I am and stuff, but I look back and no guy has asked me out or anything. If I'm so pretty, I wonder, then how come no guy's sucked it up and said, "Hey, I like you. Wanna date?" I know I want to stay single for forever, but I want to know, just one time (or more), what it's like to have a boyfriend. I don't get it...Hmm...

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13269471/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13269471/ Fri, 08 Jun 2007 19:12:13 PDT
"It's art." I wanted to say, "And they're not making out, bozo, they're sharing a sweet first kiss." But he's a thirteen-year-old boy also in puberty and what would he know about romanticism?

I'm a romantic, I must admit. And not just a "Aw, they're kissing," romantic. I'm into Romantic Era authors like Poe and...He's the only roamnticist I've read on, but I still like to consider myself a romantic.

I also consider myself a Beatnik.

And a scene kid.

And a straight-edge.

N's always busting my chops about being a scene kid and all. "Yeah, she's a scene kid. She's gonna go off and break the law."

"I'm a scene kid who does what she wants WITHIN LIMITS."

Does he listen? "She's a scene kid who's gonna go off and smoke pot and blah blah blah."

And when I bring up the fact that I'm a Beatnik (even though I don't experiment with drugs and don't drink coffee...yet [I don't wanna drink coffee but the Jelly Bellies and the shakes from Starbucks taste so good!!!]), he says, "So you're a Beatnik...but you don't do drugs or drink coffee?"

"Nick..."

"Right..."

"I'm a Beatnik."

"Whatever you say."

Man, he's so annoying. Whenever his pals come over, it's dude-this or dude-that or just dude. It's annoying, hearing him say dude so much when he's not a surfer dude or anything. He also says crap and suck a lot, which might as well be cuss words to me. I have no problem with saying "piss" even though it's the equivelent, but still...I don't say it around others. Whenever he says "Aw, crap," I used to go, "Nick, please! Don't talk that way around me!" And I've given up correcting him because I know it's pointless. His, "Yeah, she always screams at me to stop: NICK--STOP!" And he imitates me in a really annoying, high-pitched, shrieking voice that doesn't sound anything like me.

He's this tough-guy punk, but he's the one always calling others punks.

If he saw this, he'd throw a fit, saying he doesn't do this, but don't ever believe him.

He's a bully at times, but if anyone calls him one, it's, "Nuh-uh!"

He cusses but claims he doesn't. Friggin' liar.

I gotta go. I'm tired of being on the computer. PMS is moving in fast, and I'd better shower and get to bed before I blow up in someone's face. Plus I gotta pee.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13236214/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13236214/ Wed, 06 Jun 2007 07:41:46 PDT
Well, I still want to get as famous on deviantART as Biskuits and her pal whats-his/her-face, but not having a scanner and Photoshop 7 won't get me anywhere until I have both. See, I'm only 14 and up against people who are five, seven, a bunch of years older than I am and have so much more experience than I do, plus Photoshop 7 to make their already awesome drawings even better. I use to think that I was a great drawer, but now I think that I'm just mediocre.

I can't wait to get better. I want to be as good as they are!

Until next time.

Oh, and PS. The Avatar thing is being stupid. I want an Avatar so badly, but no matter what I find it won't fit the stupid thing's regulations! Gosh...

Oh, yeah, and I've decided I'm a scene kid and a straight-edge. I want to but sXe on my hands, but I'm not allowed to write on myself 'cause I'm a temple of the Holy Spirit, and that's dumb because I want to show the world that I'm proud to be a prude. Can God make an exception if I want to let everyone know that I'm proud to follow His rules?

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13180957/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13180957/ Fri, 01 Jun 2007 19:25:06 PDT
I didn't really expect the guy to look the way he did. He was kinda flabby, with moobs and all (hey, Nick's being nice now) and was jogging and not running. But he was going uphill in the rain, which must have felt a little below average, and I'm not one to criticize people in sports because I have absolutely no room to talk. We were all wondering what the heck was so special about some old middle aged guy running with a police escort, but then we saw the torch, and we were like, "Oh, my gosh!!!" The torch was black with silver bands around the top and it was...fresh.

When it was over, Dad said, "We just witness a piece of history." Isn't that awesome?

But in darker news, Mom and J are getting the fifty k that Dad owes them, and they're gonna spend every cent on it. They're using some of it one their week-long cruise to Puerto Rico or wherever, which really stinks because I need that money for college. It is so depressing how they only see the tippity-tips of their noses...But at least we get to be with Dad for ten days.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Nick's back and wants the computer again, so TTFN.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13138803/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13138803/ Tue, 29 May 2007 13:45:02 PDT
God help me, please.

Oh, PS. I saw Fr. Doug at Genesis today. Ha, ha! That was kinda funny, except for when I got all nervous and freaked out when he started walking on the treadmill beside the one that was beside me. I was watching a show on VH1 about Hollywood's shortest marriages. I wonder what he would have thought about that if he saw...I wonder what HE was watching. Probably KWTN or whatever the Catholic channel is. He asked if I was glad it was summer (duh!) and that Mrs. Trujillo the kindergarten teacher is leaving and a new teach is getting screened. Huh.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13127125/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13127125/ Mon, 28 May 2007 15:22:15 PDT
I wouldn't be so mad if J wasn't around, I know fo' sho. I can't look him in the face because I think he's ugly, I don't like to talk to him, but I know that if I give him the silent treatment he'll get mad at me, which means I'll get mad at him, and that'll only result in my utter downfall in this house.

I was still ticked at the whole computer thing from yesterday this morning. I let my attitude show so that Mom would talk to me about it and I could explain that she wouldn't like it if I read her dumb-ass e-mails to my dad, but she was so dang stubborn and only tried to get me to see her way. And she wonders why I don't like to talk to her any more.

I can't wait to get my butt over to counseling. It's like some sort of drug, you know? Actually, it's more of an addiction. I need it, I can't skip a week, because if I do I'll become an angry, seething, nervous wreck, like I am now.

Dad says that Mom and J use passive-aggressive something or another when they scold us, because I told him today at his house while picking something up I was afraid I'd get griped at for being late to leave for the mall (in my case, Barnes and Noble). I was afraid on the way there that I'd get in trouble for walking instead of using a bike like they suggested since mine has a flat tire and I don't like the other bikes. Luckily, though, I didn't get in trouble, but J's pouting wasn't fun to arrive home to.

Any way, the passive-agressiveness junk. Mr. MC said last year that that's what I had. I can't remember what it is, but I don't appreciate it. I'm so glad I never have to see his mug ever again.

I wish that my parents had a working relationship like some do. I mean, its SO annoying to have to listen to them bicker and swuabble and fight like little babies. I mean, my siblings and I get along better than they do! So stupid...

There was one more thing I wanted to complain about, but I can't remember what it is. That's dumb.

Later.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13098613/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/13098613/ Sat, 26 May 2007 08:49:18 PDT
Now I'm reading this collection of major poems and tales from Edgar Allan Poe, the best poet of all time, next to Shel Silverstein, that it. I really want to read the Pit and the Pendulum. That sounds really trippy.

Two days ago I read this book called Cut by Patricia McCormick or something like that. My mom got psycked out because the other day while we were arguing and I was really mad I told her I think that Emos don't have it wrong when they cut themselves. So now she must think I'm some sort of freak or something. I told my dad what happened, and he was like, "Oh." He didn't make a big deal or anything about it or nothing.

I find it so much easier to talk to my dad that my mom nowadays. Maybe that's because I'm afraid to talk to my mom because she might go blab it all to her deal ole hubby. I really don't like him sometimes, but when he acts all nice and all I forgive him, and I just hate it. I wish I could just not like him and get it all over with, but I can't. Dad says that's what walking on eggsshells is.

Stepdad treats Mom like crud sometimes. Nick overheard them arguing a week or so ago, and he was cussing her out. I wish I could have taken a baseball bat and beat some sense into him. That would have taught him to treat her better.

They're arguing a lot nowadays, and the marrige isn't even a year long. They enrolled themselves in marriage counseling just six months after their honeymoon. Isn't that just bittersweet for me? I want them to divorce so I don't have to see J's mug around my house anymore, but if they do, Mom's heart'll be broken and she'll be all sad and weepy because she wants to be loved, and I guess five kids and her parents and possibly her sister and brother-in-law aren't good enough (they're still fighting, I think. My Mom and aunt and uncle, that is. But I'm not sure. I want them to be good friends again. But I know J and D and C don't get along, and who could with that guy?). I wish she'd stay single so that she could devote more time to us. I mean, she dotes on us and all, but I feel that J is hogging her all the time.

I know Mom loves us and all, but sometimes I feel like she just wants the child support and stuff just for her and J so that they can go on their vacations with us and all...I'm so confused. God, I know you're out there, and I'm begging you to please set this family straight before it gets even more out of control that it really is. I am on my knees (actually in the seat of this chair) praying that you will help us out. I don't want to end up like the kids in the V.C. Andrews novels, like in Flowers in the Attic and Petals on the Wind and all. I want to be loved and cherished all the time, and not just most of the time.

God, help me out. Help US out. Please.

]]> ~superkudos http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/12991951/ http://superkudos.deviantart.com/journal/12991951/ Thu, 17 May 2007 17:00:48 PDT
Sometimes I feel like the only people who really "get me" are my counselor, (yeah, what other kid in this whacked-out country ISN'T going to some shrink or taking antu-depressants?), my brother who is a year younger than me, and my two best friends, both who are a year and two years younger than me.

I'm excited for Graduation-only four more days! I can't wait to move on to high school...it's gonna be AWESOME!

BCCHS here I come!

]]> ~superkudos