I wanted to say something, everybody. It might change your opinion of me. Or maybe you'll think that it's a plea for attention. I couldn't care less.

I'm no Jesus figure. Everyone has a breaking point aside from Jesus, and I apparently am not him. I feel taken advantage of by a lot of people.

I've been there for many people, with the interest of making them feel better about their lives, or making them better people, or just simply bailing them out of problems. I love giving advice to anyone who needs it. It's what I love doing - making people smile. It's why I want to be a cartoonist. It's why I'm here. I'm here to make people happier while learning to be a better artist, so I can more effectively make the general masses happier.

But that's also a problem for me. It's not healthy for me. See, psychologically, when people get used to a good thing, it becomes expected. When someone is HORRIBLE all the time, and suddenly, they are nice for a day, it's something to throw a party about. Just the same, when I am helpful all the time, it becomes expected of me.

That's my problem, everybody. A lot of people have begun to think of me this way. This helpful attitude of mine has become expected, and when I can't give it even once, I am suddenly thought of as a horrible person. I'm being taken advantage of by so many people, and most likely, many of the ones I'm talking about don't even know it. I know it, though. God, do I know it. I volunteered to make people smile. I didn't volunteer to do the job at my own expense.

I'm going through a lot right now. I'm not going to talk about my problems, because the ones that I intended to know about my problems, most likely already know. I'll tell you this, though. My problems are pretty damn bad, yet I don't complain about them (until now). Yet when I mention them, I am called an attention-whore. I give help and love and advice all the time, but the one time I am closed-minded and have no emotional slack on my own rope for someone to take, and "I" am in need of help, I am deemed selfish and heartless. So many people have told me that I have become more cold and calculating lately. A being run by logic. Redeye and Doc and Calico are beings like this, and ironically, my logic-based characters outnumber my emotion-based ones, 3 to 2. Of course. What room is there for my own emotions when they are outweighed by the demands and expectations of everyone else?

I doubt many people would understand, but do you know what feels terrible? Being an endlessly loving and kind person, simply because it's the logical thing to be.

Luckily for you guys and too bad for me, I'm too used to being this way to change now. It's part of who I am. I've been classically conditioned to be a good person, isn't that great? ^^ But I'm taking a break. For just a little bit, I need a break from it. It's getting to me. My problems, your problems, friends leaving because of the couple of times I can't take their problems, then more of my problems...yeah...I've never had a nervous breakdown, but I feel pretty close to how people describe it. I'm going to continue being on dA, because it's what I'm used to, as well as msn. But I probably won't talk to you on msn. I will be "away" during these times. I'll be leaving comments and replies on dA like usual, but nothing that is personally emotional to me. I'm simply going to be "there". I'm putting my emotions aside right now - they need a break. They'll be back soon. For now, you're going to get my core, and at my core, I am a person run by logic and sense.

If you care about me at all, or if you've been taken advantage of, you'll understand.

As for those of you who can't stand the change...chances are, you are the ones making me want to go aboslutely insane. If you think I'm a monster because I can't cater to your needs while I'm on my emotional hiatus, please disappear. My recovering mental health will thank you.

See now why I didn't think I deserved to be a senior deviant? Somewhere out there, there is a better Jesus than me, and he/she deserves it more than I do.

Buhbye now. Seeya soon.

~~B3N~~