http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:switchboard&section=today deviantART RSS for by:switchboard en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:34:10 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/15295046/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/15295046/ Wed, 31 Oct 2007 00:18:06 PDT
Sorry for being dead...alot's going on.

Ask if you want to know.

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/14279902/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/14279902/ Tue, 21 Aug 2007 22:02:45 PDT
]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/13848961/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/13848961/ Mon, 23 Jul 2007 16:18:51 PDT
]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/12388536/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/12388536/ Fri, 30 Mar 2007 12:30:14 PDT
I am waiting for the day when the warrior within me awakens. Waiting for the day when I am blinded by a burning lust for blood.

Oh how I wish to be among my anscestors on the battlefield. The men of the north faught for everything. I have yet begun to fight.

I am not a man. Nor is any other who calls themself a man without seeing battle. Until the day which your blood flows freely upon the ground, and until the day you hear your bones and teeth crunch, you are no man to me.

I have changed so much in the past years. No longer can I call myself a pasafist. Once upon a time, I believed in peace. Now, I only ache for war.

Until the day when I can stand and scream to the clouds, until I can face the wind and scream "come whatever may", I am not a man.

Until that day, I live with this screaming warrior within me.

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/12090148/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/12090148/ Wed, 07 Mar 2007 06:13:39 PST
I've got steel, and I've got patterns.

And I've got a MIG welder. How awesome is that?

I'm just short rivets and time.

Also, if anyone just has bandsaw blades laying around, I'd gladly take them

Let me know how you're doing, because at this point, I'm seriously doubting that anyone checks my page anymore.

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/11455828/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/11455828/ Tue, 16 Jan 2007 04:21:08 PST
I can't wait!!

I need to drive to Glassboro. I'm really not looking forward to that, but you know....has to be done.

Pictures of armor will be provided upon completion.

Oh....I hate my job.

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/11141121/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/11141121/ Thu, 21 Dec 2006 16:49:15 PST
Armoury will be FULLY FUNCTIONAL, as soon as I can get my hands on an old barbecue.

I also got my truck. A 1996 Ford Ranger. It's pretty sweet....That also means I got my license.

So how is everyone?

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/10784868/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/10784868/ Mon, 20 Nov 2006 04:03:05 PST
]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/10610709/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/10610709/ Sat, 04 Nov 2006 06:17:48 PST
Also, my camera is fixed. It was out of service for some time. I'm so happy to have my precious baby back!!!

Someone talk to me. Seriously.

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/10399784/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/10399784/ Sun, 15 Oct 2006 10:31:39 PDT
I'm a local celebrity...

You know it's good when you walk into a Diner at 1:30 in the morning and people refference to you as the "sword guy". Yeah...I rock.

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/9444776/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/9444776/ Fri, 21 Jul 2006 05:16:26 PDT
If you care to join me, just ask. ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/6441146/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/6441146/ Wed, 07 Sep 2005 13:04:56 PDT i'd like to sing a song about the american dream, about me, about you, about the way our american hearts beat way down in our chests, way down in the cockles of our hearts, or maybe in the subcockle area, maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys, maybe even in the colon, we don't know. i'm just a regular joe, with a regular job, i'm your average white, suburbinite slob, i like football and porno, and books about war, i got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor. my wife and my job, my kids and my car, my feet on my table and a cuban cigar. well sometimes that just, aint' enough to keep a man like me interrested, uh-uh, no way, i gotta go out and have fun, at someone else's expense, yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, i drive really slow, in the ultra fast lane, while people behind me are going insane. i'm an asshole.(he's an asshole) i'm an asshole (buddy oh buddy oh) i use public toilets and piss on the seat, i walk around on the summer time saying "how about this heat?" i'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole) i'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole) sometimes i park, in handicapped spaces, while handicapped people, make handicapped faces, i'm an asshole (he's an asshole) i'm an asshole (a real fucking asshole) (maybe i shouldnl't be singing this song, ranting and raving and carrying on, maybe they're right when they tell me i'm wrong) ....NAH!! i'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole) you know what i'm gonna do? i'm gonna get myself a 1967 cadalac el dorado convertable, HOT PINK with whale skin hubcaps, with all leather cow interrior, and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights, yeah! and i'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour, getting one mile per gallon, while sucking down quarter pounder cheeseburgers from mcdonalds in the old fashion styrofoam containers, when i'm done, i'm going to whipe my mouth with the american flag, and toss the styrofoam containers right out he side, and there's not a goddamned thing anyone could do about it, why? because we've got the bombs, ok? two words "nuclear fuckin weapons" ok? russia, germany, romania, they can have all the democracy they want, they can have a big democracy cake walk right through tiyinimon square, and it's not gonna make a lick of difference because we've got the bombs okay? john wayne's not dead. he's frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're going to thawl out the duke, and he's gonna be pretty pissed off, ya know why? you ever take a cold shower? multiply that by 15,000,000 times, and that's how pissed off the duke's gonna be. i'm gonna get hte duke, and john gasobedie, and lee marvin, and sam beckonwald, and a case of whiskey, and drive down to texax (hey hey hey! you know you really are an asshole?) why don't you just shut up and sing the song pal. I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole) i'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole) a-s-s-h-o-l-e. EVERYBODY! A-S-S-H-0-L-E!!

i'm an asshole, and i'm proud of it

<> ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/6404631/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/6404631/ Sat, 03 Sep 2005 10:48:55 PDT
you people dont' understand...it's like water to me...i don't want it. i just need it.

someone help me out...please...i need it...please help me...i need caffiene...please you gotta help me...someone please tell me where i can find it...

it's no longer a soft drink...it's an obsession...

I FUCKING NEED MOUNTAIN DEW.... ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/6390031/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/6390031/ Thu, 01 Sep 2005 17:07:00 PDT
saturday, september 10th, 2005, my first fencing demonstration commences at 5:00 PM. wish me the best of luck. while i'm there, i'll be meeting up with the very talented, very wonderful . hopefully the show goes off without a hitch, and we get recognized...and we get paid...

well that's all i really have for you guys now....

wish me luck...

-Pyro ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/6360609/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/6360609/ Mon, 29 Aug 2005 14:21:12 PDT WARNING!

If you are reading this, than this warning is for you. Every word read off of this useless fine print is just another moment off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you can't think of other things to do? Or are you just so impressed with authority that you give respect and creedence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Do you buy what you're told you should want? Get out of the apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Cease the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove that you're alive. If you do not claim your humanity, you will become a statistic. You have been warned

-Pyro ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/5876128/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/5876128/ Fri, 08 Jul 2005 10:48:18 PDT got these from a friend of mine...they're so trie

You don't "go to the beach", you go "down the shore".

In your mind you hear "watch out for the tram car please" even in your sleep.

You've had arguments over cheesesteak quality.

When it snows more than an inch, you call it a blizzard.

You know someone named Siprasiut Xayapachan.

You've actually found the Echelon Mall.

Your uncle is in the mafia.

You or your friends have Lyme Disease.

You don't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country.

You know what a Wawa is, and know the location of at least 15 of them.

You know what became of the 13th Leeds child, and claim to have seen him one time while peeing in the woods.

One time you were driving in the woods and got stuck in sand.

You have an EZ Pass, but you just hold it up.

Even though there's a new Wal-Mart in your town, you still go to the Berlin Farmers Market for cheap stuff.

Your neighborhood demonstrates co-existence of African-Americans and racist rednecks.

You know that you should get the hell out of Camden before dark.

Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April ann May.

You buy Shop-Rite brand food at Shop-Rite.

Honesty, sincerity, and courtesy are things you once saw happen in Ohio.

You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle.

You think the Olive Garden is a bunch of crap and should not open restaurants in South Jersey.

You worked at a blueberry farm when you were 13.

You played soccer from Kindergarten through high school.

You've counted the number of titty bars on the Black Horse Pike.

You always went to the Franklin Institute when you were a kid.

Your middle school hangout was the mall.

You have an unusable, piece-of-shit boat in your front yard.

You once skipped school and went to Wildwood.

You're Italian.

You know where to get the best bagel.

You've called someone an "asshole" to their face at the Philly airport.

You say "water" weird.

Even your school made good Italian subs, but you call them hoagies.

You've almost fallen asleep on the Expressway.

You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and fires, but have never seen a tornado, earthquake or volcano.

You can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights.

You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros. creation.

You never had school on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur.

You take day trips to New York City.

The mafia runs half the businesses in your town.

You have mandatory recycling. Enforced by law.

In the woods behind your house, you can find couches, washing machines, and shoes.

You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh seafood.

You go to at least one parade at the boardwalk each year.

You've made a meal out of Tastycakes, Herr's BBQ potato chips, and Pennsylvania Dutch Birch Beer.

You know the Atlantic City High School marching band can lay down some phat beats.

You know New Years is all about the Mummers and the Polar Bear club.

You smoke Parliament Lights.

You go to the local Fire Department barbeque in June.

Down the road, in the middle of nowhere, is an Egyptian restaurant and a custard stand with a minature golf course.

You know what custard is in South Jersey.

You can go bowling at 1:30 A.M. (with automatic scoring!)

In high school, you worked at a Friendly's.

Route 206 doesn't freak you out at night.

One time, a sea gull shit all over your head.

You once said, "It smells like Philadelphia in here."

You know that people from the 609 area code are "a little different".

Your mom still loves Bruce Springsteen.

You know it can be -10 degrees and 70 degrees in January in the same year.

There's a fruit and vegetable stand down the road.

You will always say "YO", and you'll say it often.

You scoff at tourists in Philadelphia.

Your town has an online commmunity.

At least one person brings Big Fizz to a party.

You go to another state and sit at a gas station wondering when the people will come out to pump your gas.

You have your own bucket for carmel corn refills.

You know that no matter how much they put into... ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/5875893/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/5875893/ Fri, 08 Jul 2005 10:19:36 PDT
1. EYES ON THE WALL
2. get a urinal closest to the wall
3. if there is an option, do not stand next to someone else
4. zip up before you leave the urinal
5. do not make eye contact
6. if eye contact is made just nod and be on your way
7. if someone stands next to you, move to the next stall
8. if you are inbetween two guys, pray to whomever you pray to that they're both straight and are complete strangers
9. do not laugh
10. if you feel someone is watching you, just stare at the wall

there you have it...10 simple rules to follow when in the men's room. use to your advantage and you will have a pleasureable men's room expreience...oh shit that sounds wrong >.< ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/5744002/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/5744002/ Fri, 24 Jun 2005 11:36:27 PDT
the question was brought up again fairly recently, so i guess it's time i explain the term "switchboard"

about two years ago, i had made a list of many things that i thought went well with my personality...the list was about 200 words long...i selected some that stood out themost...and i arranged them in a certain fashion...so it came down to this

Suicidal
Worthless
Insecure
Twisted
Childish
Hated
Bored
Over-reactive
Anarchist
Restless
Disturbed

there you have it...

the story behind "switchboard" ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/5007018/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/5007018/ Tue, 05 Apr 2005 12:41:57 PDT [link]

just listen to it, you'll be sure to laugh, i promise.

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4751904/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4751904/ Mon, 07 Mar 2005 13:55:05 PST
and i think that this is something that should probably be brought over to america. i mean society is mostly male dominated. call it a chivilrous act or whatever. but i think it's a good idea.

so yeah. spread this around. make it known!

honor thy woman

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4740792/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4740792/ Sun, 06 Mar 2005 07:13:54 PST
1. heaven-a reward for being perfect, if there truely is a higher power then it is not an inatimate object. meaning that it would have to understand that perfection is the one true flaw.

2-hell-a place for the wicked. eternal damnation. now let's look at that word shall we? "eternal". it means forever. no end. unrelenting. there is absolutely NOTHING that any one person could do that would sentance them to eternal damnation. and your higher power...he is non-forgiving? i actually red up on the circles of hell. the sin and the punishment. did you know that if you were to comit suicide you'd be sentanced to be ripped at, and flogged. don't you think...that if you were to kill yourself, that your god doesn't understand that you're obviously going through shit. and if he sentences you to eternal damnation for wanting to get rid of your problems...well that's just plain stupidity.

3-thou shall not kill-more people die in the name of god then anything else

4-jesus-do you really think that your all-mighty power would really pick his son to be a carpenter? i mean really...don't you think that he might have given him something a little more glamorous then to build stuff, getting sweaty and nasty stuff like that?

5-comandments-i've never heard a more padded, fluffed out list of bullshit in my entire life.

6-sodomy-one more of the "unforgiveable" whatsamahoozets....have you forgotten the whole catholic preist thing?

7-the damnation of homosexuals- now if homosexuality is wrong...why is it there?

8-satanists-alright...people that "worship satan" say that there is no god...well if there is no god then how is there supposed to be a satan?

9-silence-back...oh say about 2000 years ago or so. god was talking to people left and right. where is he now? and why are the ones that hear voices condemned?

10-the death of the christ-jesus of nazareth was tacked up on a cross for how long? and it took a spear to finally finish him off? come on. the son of god dying from a stab wound? what the hell is that?

alright...my 10 top reasons why i dont' believe in your god

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4728761/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4728761/ Fri, 04 Mar 2005 15:57:59 PST
1. i have my own ideas
2. i'm a visionairy
3. i'm ahead of my time (by about 6 minutes)
4. i don't support america
5. i dream of revolution
6. i question reality
7. i question the fact that people believe in an invisable man in the sky
8. i don't believe in a "god"
9. i don't like people
10. i like boys

take your pick.

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4628557/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4628557/ Sun, 20 Feb 2005 10:12:27 PST
i forget where i heard it but the quote goes "if you truely love something you have to let it go, if it returns then you know the love was true"

nothing has returned to me.

so how do i know if i truely love anything? how do i know that what i thought i loved wasn't just a passing thought?

how do i know what love is?

when will i know when i find it?

i told you people this once before. and i didn't hold true to it. about giving up on love. and i think that it would be a good decision to quit now. because the fat guy never has a girlfriend. the geek never gets the girl. so i might as well just shut up and become one of the nameless victims of the ever supressing media.

i don't understand how people can just be so fucking stupid as to not look past outer appearances. seriously...i'm not a bad person...am i? i really try to be nice. and i'm tired of it...i'm going to start being mean to people. i mean i have to match my outer apperance right? i have to be a lonely bastard that's always mean to people. and i have to shut everybody out.

good bye love

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4576719/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4576719/ Mon, 14 Feb 2005 06:18:23 PST
halmark holiday.

and i don't have the kind of money to keep throwing out towards candy and flowers.

the gods are mad at me or something. aperently i can't be happy. i'm always alone on these kinds of holidays.

on a slightly grimmer note...

i got hit by a car last night. yeah i'm fine. but this just goes to harden the fact that i cannot die. i was walking down the street cause i needed a cigarette...and i'm turning the corner and the next thing i know i'm laid out on the hood of a car. i went to the er and the doctors couldn't find anything wrong. and i'm in school today. because my parents are relentless. but still. i'm alright. i dont' feel bad. but yeah.

[link] <
grr...i think i should document this. i have a hospital record. and the school sees that i'm in today so yeah this is just another good part for me when june rolls around. parents don't know what's going on so yeah :evillaugH: they're going to act as normal. but come june...i think my chances of earning my freedom are pretty great.

sorry i didn't update earlier.

even though i'm never happy on valentine's i hope that everybody's is going alright.

take care guys

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4544520/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4544520/ Thu, 10 Feb 2005 08:36:27 PST

anybody that goes to r.v. knows what the lunchroom looks like. right. so you know that there's anywhere from 15 to 20 chairs at a table. and there are empty tables all around. but when people in the lunch block before you move the chairs around. you get up and grab chairs from another table. no big deal right? not to some people.

so there's like 11 people that sit at the second table i sit at (i jugle between the two) and there was only like...4 chairs there...so we grabbed a few from another table. but there's these three girls that sit at the table we took chairs from. we took 3 chairs. from 20...and oh my god. the sparks fly. jesus fucking fuck. they're so stupid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

anyway.

it's amusing how stupid people can be. i mean...the three girls that got pissed off brought over like 12 other guys. and they're like trying to intimidate us. but well...the majority of the people at my table are either bi or gay. so one of these guys...handed one of the guys that was near attacking us a little candy heart saying "spread the love" and he's like "are you a faggot" and he's like (all pompus and proper) "well..i am bisexual" and every single one of the "attackers" got up and basically bolted to the other side of the room. fun shit

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i need money. i need to buy film. and paper.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

being single isn't that bad. i mean...not as bad as it was the last time. i know i'll be hating it in a couple weeks but... what are ya gonna do? well...actually there is this one girl that i kinda like... i think she knows...but yeah...i'm probably going to like hint on it... aaaaaaaaagh. this is going to drag on

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i think that's it...yeah...tha'ts it for now...i will write tomorrow



]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4536336/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4536336/ Wed, 09 Feb 2005 08:44:14 PST
i'm not allowed to wear my contacts anymore, the doctor says that they'r messing with my eyes. and i need a new perscription...feck.

...people suck...i asked for people to send me notes

I GOT ONE!!!!!!!!!

you guys really do suck...

well all of you cept riz...

well i'm officially psychotic. people even say so

well yeah. i'm single now...meaning i could drink and smoke...which i probably won't do...yes...that's right...i'm clean for good i'm actually kind of proud of myself that i didn't get emotionally torn up about this one. not like rachel. rachel...damn i hated that...

...i don't know what else to type...

oh. my next photoshoot i'm doing towards the beginig of march. there needs to be warmer weather you'll see. i think you guys will like it alot. i've got a whole shat load of ideas and i've got a 512 meg card now...meaning i can ltake like...500 pictures

oh, i'm wearing shorts. in new jersey. in febuary. this is one fucking awesome day. i started to sweat at one point x__x

.......i guess i'm done with this

VIVA LA RESISTANCE!

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4527717/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4527717/ Tue, 08 Feb 2005 08:49:00 PST
i'm screaming inside. but nobody wants to stop and listen. everybody's always too busy to stop for more then half a second to even turn their head my direction. people don't care. people suck. the parasitic nature of the human mind is proving truthful yet again. they can't gain anything from my discontent and they're just totally looking the other direction.

my hearts been broken too many times. and it just can't be fixed anymore. i don't even think she knew she was doing it.

i'm tired of giving and giving and giving...i can't give anymore. i have nothing left.

oh...another thing. i've joined back up with the fight club. i don't know if i posted anything about it a few months back but it's the only way i can really let out what i'm holding up inside. that and i'm getting money from it. yes, i'll be careful. i just need away to tire myself out so i can't think. thinking seems to be my downfall. not a verygood thing most of the time. when i start thinking...yeah...not good

i hate macs

marc came back to school today i think his d.a. name is like or :iconnotimetocry: but yeah. i missed him.

i hate amerikkka...such a stupid place.

they're talkig about the salem witch trials...somewhree over my shoulder. i don't really feel like turning around to see what's going on but i can hear it alright. god it pisses me off...again THE PARASITIC NATURE OF THE HUMAN MIND PREVAILS! stupid fucking puritans...

alright. that's it...off to history...

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4510415/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4510415/ Sun, 06 Feb 2005 09:06:53 PST
Disappear
Disappear
Higher
Higher
Into the air
Slowly disappear
No, no longer here

Disappear
Disappear
Thinner, thinner
Into the air

Never really here
What that never
Like a thought brushing up against a sigh
Floating away
Floating away

Vanishing like a cyan sunday
Disappear
Disappear
Vanish, vanish into the air
Slowly disappear
Never really here

Floating away
Floating away" -"The Vanishing" A Perfect Circle

Help me if you can
It's just that this, this is not the way I'm wired
So could you please,

Help me understand why
You've given in to all these
Reckless dark desires

You're lying to yourself again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it, put it on the faultline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Over this. Why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess. I don't want to watch you.

Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time
What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die

Medicated, drama queen, picture perfect, numb belligerence
Narcissistic, drama queen, craving fame and all its decadence

Lying through your teeth again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it, put it on the fautline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Go with this, why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess, I don't wanna watch you...

Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time
What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die

They were right about you
They were right about you

Lying to my face again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it put it on the fautline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Over this, why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess, Coalesce, Coalesce

Disconnect and self destruct, one bullet at a time
What's your hurry, everyone will have his day to die
If you choose to pull the trigger, should your drama prove sincere,
Do it somewhere far away from here "The Outsider" A Perfect Circle

yeah. some people find it wierd that i connect emotions with songs. oh well.

...now for completely un-related news...i got stapled in the face last night, because somebody thought it was funny to hit someone in the face with a stapler while they were sleeping.

i took a walk yesterday. to down town mt. holly. it was about 8 o'clock at night. and all i could hear were sirens. and i realized something. no matter how disturbing and how fucked up this world can be...the innocence of a child can brighten up your day. just watching a kid throwing a snowball at another, and the laughing...just listening to it will bring you to utopia.

i'll leave you guys with this...if you guys don't hear from me again...it's not because i'm no longer around. it's because i've probably started a new account as to rid myself of the negativity that people find nessesary to bring down upon me. thoughts of suicide have left my mind a long time ago. i find them pointless.

i wish you all the best of luck

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4479601/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4479601/ Wed, 02 Feb 2005 12:42:35 PST
i'm bipolar

guess what else?

my dad ripped out his i.v. when he found out i was still here

guess what else now?

i talked to a lawyer today about the emancipation process. and there is no way i can get let out. aparently my record comes back to haunt me. remember that little new years eve episode? yeah. LEGAL RECORDS ARE A NO-NO. stupid fuckers. god i hate attorneys.

just thought you guy'd like to know.

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4478074/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4478074/ Wed, 02 Feb 2005 08:47:21 PST
i can't really assure that it's going to be a long one but oh well

alright...i've got a series of questions...you have to answer...or else i'll be sad...*imagine me crying here*

1. pick a color...any color
2. pick a number...any number
3. multiply the number of letters in the name of that color by the number that you had picked.
4. divide that by 4

~~done with the numbers part~~

1. favorite song?
2. favorite language...english doesn't count.
3. pick a song that you think represents you and why.
4. what is your best quality
(these are all coming out of the deep abyss that is my mind...)
5. pick a song that you think represents me and why?
6. would you buy my prints if i were to get a print account?
7. can i have a hug?
8. ever been in one of htose situations where you just have NOTHING to do and you start staring at something and then it starts moving? please tell me i'm not the only one
9. are you happy where you live?
10. ever degauss your computer monitor? only works if you have a CRT...but it's all weird colors

i'm done with questions now...there's like 4 minutes left in this class...

god i want to go home!!!!!!!

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4469296/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4469296/ Tue, 01 Feb 2005 17:50:33 PST

and is no more then 4 feet away from me....

so bored

everybody likes to be mad at me. i don't understand. all day i've been dealing with people just freaking out. people just...i don't know.

i'm so confused right now. my head is spinning. people really like to contradict themselves nowadays. and there's only twenty minutes'

i've started my new classes yesterday...

block 1-computer applications (basically...a typing teaching class...i fucking hate it)

block 2-physical education (gym class...i'm too fat for gym class)

block 3-lunch/graderoom

block 4-u.s. history 1 ...very boring...but the teacher is extreamely easy on the eyes

block 5-italian 2...yes...the ultimately awesome switchboard is even more cooler because the ultimately awesome switchboard is multilingual

so yeah. that's how my day goes.

my dad's coming home tomorrow...

fun shit ahead.

i've got a black eye already. chris and his smart ass decided to swing around a pvc pole...smacking me in the face...the dumbass...

i think that's about it...

i'm gonna head off to to forums now *woosh*

A RIDDLE THAT'LL KILL YOUR BRAIN!

This is going to make you so MAD! There are three words in the English
language that end in "gry". ONE is angry and the other is hungry.
EveryONE knows what the third ONE means and what it stands for.
EveryONE uses them everyday, and if you listened very carefully, I've
given you the third word. What is it? _______gry? Send this to 5
People and the answer will pop up on the screen automatically.

FIGURE THIS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4446541/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4446541/ Sat, 29 Jan 2005 15:47:56 PST I'm counting sheep but running out
As time ticks by
And still I try
No rest for crosstops in my mind

On my own... here we go

My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed
Dried up and bulging out my skull
My mouth is dry
My face is numb
fucked up and spun out in my room

On my own... here we go

My mind is set on overdrive
The clock is laughing in my face
A crooked spine
My sense's dulled
Passed the point of delerium

On my own... here we go

My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed
Dried up and bulging out my skull
My mouth is dry
My face is numb
fucked up and spun out in my room

On my own... here we go

---------------------------------------- -----------

put here because it's basically signifying what i've got to deal with right now. i havn't been taking my penecillen because the pill is disgustin WRONG ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very stuipd. my muscles are all cramped all the time. i've felt like vomiting almost all of the day. might be the caffiene withdrawl but...oh well.

but yeah....

who can i turn to?

i don't need people telling me to kill myself. i have to deal with myself telling me to kill myself. i don't want to have to deal with "friends" telling me to kill myself.

kayla's like the only real person i can talk to anymore. kathrine has just like totally blown me off every time i've gotten to talk to her. i can't really talk to lily that much. she's always so busy. and bridget works alot. so i can't really talk to her. i'm just thinking out loud. you can ignore this part...really. you can. i wouldn't mind wether you did or if you didn't. so you can totally skip this part of my journal and i wouldn't know at all. i should just accept the fact that people don't like me. you know...i try to be a good person. i try to be nice. i really do. but even when my own girlfriend is pissed off at me for wanting to talk to her. not a good day.

i start new classes monday which is a good thing. meaning i don't have to deal witih my geometry teacher anymore

i've made my decision. and i'm going to become a nomad. that's right a nomad. basically a hermit that drifts...and i'm gonna like...find you people and throw marshmallows at you...i'll walk around the country just to throw marshmallows at random people.

i'm going to quit my band. i'm the one holding them back. they can't get a record deal with me in the band. >.> corperate bastards...i'd have to be 18 for them to realse any of our better stuff...meaning explisit lyrics. so yeah. i'll probly lose sleep over it. just thinking it through. oh well. i'll be alright either way.

sorry for making you read all that

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4437022/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4437022/ Fri, 28 Jan 2005 12:38:22 PST
my sick twisted mind has thought up a contest so ludacris, so insane, and so incredibly horrid...that if you are weak of stomach you may want to turn away right now...

i want as many people as i can...

to...

participate...

in what i am calling...

THE PISSED OFF ANIMAL CONTEST!!!!!!! *dramatic music............*

yes. you can draw it, manip it, or pose your bunny rabbit for all i care.

the objective: portray an animal to be a ninja

extra points for cutness and randomosity



]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4426885/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4426885/ Thu, 27 Jan 2005 08:24:21 PST
I'M NOT GETTING PUT UP FOR ADOPTION

so excitied. my mother had a change of heart.

dad doesn't know yet...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

nobody said it was easy
it's such a shame for us to part

R.I.P. Adam, i never got to meet the guy. but from what i hear he was a wonderful person. he will be missed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my last journal entry wasn't a suicide note...

i would have let you know...well i guess i could have clarified a bit better. but sorry about that

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

once i'm sixteen i can leave. i can get emancipated from my parents and i can go wherever i want. just six more months. well more like five and a half...so wish me luck guys

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

that's all i really have for you guys today.

take care. and remember this. never lose your sense of humor. it will get you through alot. trust me.

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4420766/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4420766/ Wed, 26 Jan 2005 14:19:43 PST
]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4372075/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4372075/ Thu, 20 Jan 2005 19:19:02 PST

yeah...kevi doin another contest...you have till march 1

i'm getting two other judges, myself being one...but yeah, i'm re-doing my whole angel scheme...i'm such a loser

but yeah guys.

an angel. nothing to do with "of death" and i don't want anything like über happy.

like an actual painting would be cool. sketches work. but i'm not looking for manips unless you really want to take like a month on it...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my internet is being a jerk again

sorry alice, i'm not ignoring you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

suicide gone mental that your momma talked about, king of the fourty theives no need to represent, the needle in the vein of the establishment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i've got nothing else to say really...

cept maybe...

alice i luffs ya

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4340157/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4340157/ Mon, 17 Jan 2005 04:38:23 PST
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

there have been alot of people that havn't commented on anything...and i havn't heard from them in a while...when i say alot i mean all of you...you guys suck...i don't hear from most of you for a very long time. i neeeeeeeeeeeeeed to hear from you. i worry about my friends

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i miss the shiv-meister...i havn't talked to the shiv-meister in ages it's not cool

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i am going to fail geometry, i can feel it. the teacher is going to screw me over on my final, i know it. she's such a bitch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

873 days

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


3 Questions,

I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then, I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything. Be gentle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i have nothing else to talk about since i dont' get to talk to any of my friends... you see...if you had kept in touch with me i could probably thought of something else to write about, but since i havn't talked to any of my friends for a while, i have no idea what's going on, thus i have no inspiration...BRING ME BACK MY MUSES!

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4300377/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4300377/ Wed, 12 Jan 2005 06:15:10 PST

it's so incredibly boring it isn't even funny...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

oh yeah...if anybody in the area has those box tops with the stamp on them worth 10 cents for the school...could you give them to me? i'm sending a whole bunch to *dualdesigns so her kids can get days w/o their uniforms at their school...man do uniforms suck...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

lemme explain this real world project...i'll probly re-post the poll so now that everybody knows what it's all about...

if you've ever watched the real world on mtv...it's like 10 people i think, total strangers, living in a house for like three months or sometlhing like that.

so...

what i'm going to do is buy an apartment complex...and put a 30 foot tall wall around the entire thing, far enough from the building that you can't jump over it from the top floor, and close enough that you don't have enough room to breathe lol, just kidding...there will be no wall...

but yeah, it'd be kinda cool to set up an apartment complex and get x amount of people from d.a. to live in this apartment complex for six months. so yeah if you'd like to do it i'll re-post the poll so you can vote without saying "what the hell" so yeah if you'd like to do it...wait until i can buy the apartment building and i'll fly you in... kayla knows about the cheque...

so yeah...

just a fantasy but yeah

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm still trying to figure out the subscription

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4287390/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4287390/ Mon, 10 Jan 2005 15:50:54 PST
2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. How have I affected you?

5. What do you think of me?

6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?

7. How long do you think we will be friends?

8. Do you love me?

9. Do you have a crush on me?

10. Would you kiss me?

11. Would you hug me?

12. Physically, what stands out?

13. Emotionally, what stands out?

14. Do you wish i was cooler?

15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?

16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

17. Am I loveable?

18. How long have you known me?

19. Describe me in 3 words

20. What was your first impression?

21. Do you still think that way about me now?

22. What do you think my weakness is?

23. Do you think i'll get married?

24. What makes me happy?

25. What makes me sad?

26. What reminds you of me?

27. If you could give me anything what would it be?

28. How well do you know me?

29. Do you wish to get to know me more?

30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

31. Do you think I could kill someone?

32. give me your number?

33. have sex with me?

34 give me money?

35. let me kiss you?

36. watch a movie with me?

37. have dinner with me?

38. let me borrow your car?

39. kick my ass?

40. take a shower with me?

41. be my gf/bf?

42. have a fling with me?

43. be there for me?

44. buy me a drink?

45. take me home for the night?

46. give me a good time?

47. talk to me all night on the phone?

48. tell me you like my ass?

49. watch porn with me?

50. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4287030/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4287030/ Mon, 10 Jan 2005 15:09:43 PST
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

went to the holocaust museum today. at the part where all the shoes were...and you have to walk through it...you can still smell the burnt flesh...there is no worse act of evil that could have been bestowed upon humans....the nazi's were just fucked up people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

whooo...stil failing geometry but not as bad now i've got a 63 average, meaning if i maintain this grade i can come back to s ummer school...which has been known to be SUPER easy...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the following is a list of little things that just piss me off to no extent:

1. silk underwear
2. paper cuts
3. close-mindedness
4. school buses
5. my cell phone
6. ex-girlfriends that when they rip out your heart still want to be friends *coughbitchcough*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this is a public service announcement, this is only a test

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i hate tour buses...especially when the person infront of you decides to lean back all the way smushing your knees, and then you ask them to lean up a bit and they get all snippy and they're like "just because you're tall means i can't be comfortable" ... YES!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i like frappachino...frappachino good...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

that's aboot it...oh...if anybody can PLEASE tell me how to make a poll i would greatly appreciate it...

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4262166/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4262166/ Fri, 07 Jan 2005 13:08:16 PST
*dualdesigns *dualdesigns

yes she got me a subscription thank you soooooooooooooooooooooo much amy

anyway...

i actually don't really have any news...except that i got a 70 on a geometry test and it brought my grade up...isn't that depressing?

das bout it folks...

]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4218910/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4218910/ Sun, 02 Jan 2005 08:38:18 PST
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm getting a car soon 2004 honda civic...it's got like 300 miles on it. brand freakin new with body kit, cost me 1,100, my uncle just needed a transaction. well the car belonged to my aunt, and he couldn't bear to have it in his yard anymore. so yeah...my car...i'm gonna get it re-painted and i've already got an engine i've been working on that i'm gonna put in there. it's gonna be sick.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i wanna go to england so badly right now to see alice mainly...but i need to get away from here...my parents are just making things worse...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this coming saturday is the kickoff for robitics, i'm so excited much fun, and robotics is like...the only reason i'm still goign to school...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

look, at my, reflection in the dark, blinded by the silence of a thousand broken hearts.....i love that song...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THEY FUCKING PLAYED OUR SONG ON THE RADIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was at 3 in the morning...BUT THAT'S OK!!!!! y-100 bitches. if you're in the area you HAVE to start listening to it at night, give up sleep. you don't need it. so yeah...we might get a better record deal this time, meaning we can get our album into real places...like fye, tower, and places like that. i'm so excited

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhm...that's about it...

yeah...that's how it is...she's so awesome ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4211785/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4211785/ Sat, 01 Jan 2005 12:08:04 PST
yeah...last night i did the mother of all stupid shit...

well...ya see...i am a pyromaniac...

and firebombs are a big hobby of mine...not stuff to like...destroy buidings with...just enough to make a pretty flame and that's it...well....it's like a molitov but not as powerful...they don't explode they just spray fire everywhere...

oh right...

back to the point...

well...i got playin around with these things last night...like...we were throwing them in the street...cause nobody was going down that street. right...so we were making fire in the streets...fire...fire...FYURRRRRRRRRRRRR ...

anyway...we hit a copcar with one...and i probly could have gotten away if i had not been drunk...anyway...he takes us downtown...and we're getting questions...basically we got let off with a slap on the wrist cause there was worse shit going on...but they've got my prints now must find....other....fingers................ ........

anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...

that's how my new years went...how was yours? ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4202684/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4202684/ Fri, 31 Dec 2004 13:25:19 PST
i was watching comedy central and i realized something...racism is a big part of every day life...this one guy was talking about his friend pressing charges against his work place because he heard someone use the term "nigger" in the break room....and then he made a racial joke about white people...

so i have decided to denounce myself of any race...

i am not white, i am not hispanic, i am not black. and i'm not going to pretend either.

my reasoning for this is simple...every race has got something against them hispanic-lazy, black-greedy/theivery, white-...need i say more? middle easter-terrorist. asian-math.............................. ..

I AM NOT A RACIST

alright...my next statement may seem stupid...or in the most part hateful...but i think hitler had a good idea...NOT THAT I SUPPORT WHAT HE DID! I LIKE THE IDEA THAT THERE SHOULDN'T BE DIFFERENT RACES! I DO NOT PICK ONE OVER ANOTHER! I AM NOT A RACIST!

so...i'm starting my own race...i'm dying my skin purple. if anybody else shares my vision of unifying the world under name...then do as i am to do...dye your skin purple. hopefully my ideals will spread...thus unifying the world under one ideal.

so please...

see thigns my way...understand my vision...rid yourself of racial profiling...become purple

PURPLE POWER!!!!!!! that's not gay power either >.> so don't feel like...you know...gay to dye your skin purple... ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4175951/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4175951/ Tue, 28 Dec 2004 09:25:31 PST
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i thought that alice and i were broken up...i was mad at her...and...i'm not mad anymore...i really don't want to break up with her she's like the best thing that's ever happened to me. alice...i know you're going to read this at some point. i'm sorry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ack...i was supposed to go to new york yesterday...but ryan was being an ass licker and he didn't want to go. and we didn't have a replacement bassist...that ass fuck...i hate him...can you say..."replacement"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

anyway...i've found that i'm getting alot of ideas and inspiration from greenday songs...so when i can get my models together...photoshoot time i want to do it at my school...i'm not done attacking things yet...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i started drawing the family portrait...and it flat out sucks...so tomorrow i'm going to post the family tree in a journal...and if your name shows up on it...you musht either draw a picture of yourself...or get a picture of yourself...preferably not a photograph...because they're really lame and un-orrigional...so yeah...*cough* i'm going to explain my reasoning for why people are who they are on the tree...so everybody isn't like? "hey...he's not old enough to be your father...wtf?" you'll see

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

das bout it folks...(to be continued) ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4161907/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4161907/ Sun, 26 Dec 2004 13:24:24 PST hate
fear
pain
love
lust
pity
bigotry
prejudice

all things the world can do without

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's weird to see someone as fucking huge as i am break down and cry...but it happens all too much. well guess what fuckers? i hurt. i hurt alot. and people just keep making it worse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i was talkign to rachel a little bit ago. she said that i'm two faced...aparently one side can be extreamely sweet and caring if i like what's going on...and the other is a total asshole that wants everything dead. i do it in self defense. obviously people don't like me when i'm nice so i have no other choice then to become an asshole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

there are a few things i want to do...

1. love somebody, and know it, and not question it
2. have somebody love me and mean it
3. fix the fucking scanner
4. talk to somebody and not start screaming

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

fuck you rachel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

as some of you might know. when i was younger i underwent physical abuse from my father. well as of 6 a.m. this morning he continued with it. it wasn't an all out beating, but enough to bruise. i don't even know what i did. he just came into my room while i was sleeping and he hit me. that fucking coward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

im not posting anything on here about death, or anything that's going on. (i.e. sucide attempts/thoughts) because i recieved some very crude notes from people who shall remain nameless, and some very bad messages on msn telling me to stop complainging and fucking get it done with and to do the world a favor. so you knwo what fuckers? i don't care wether you care or not...i'm done, i swear it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm really excitied because i found out i can order music videos ondemand and it doesn't cost anything. and i went through the entire "rock" section in a day or so. and i came across a song by greenday "good riddance"...and it got me thinking very deeply about things. and what has happened to me. what i have done to other people...and i try to be nice, i really do. but when i care about people, it always seems to hit me right back in the face, and there's a part of the song where it's like "it's not a question but a lesson learned in time" and i'm begining to think that i shouldn't be nice to people anymore. that i should just be cold to everybody. to stop smiling, to stop hugging, to stop appreciating things, to just isolate myself from people, and if people want to be nice to me then i'll accept it, but i'm no longer going to extend the same courtosey for people that don't appreciate it. fuck you all

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

despite that last comment...there are many people that i do love, kayla, kathrine, shivey, lily, and guillie just to get started, i dont' have time to name them all. they're all wonderful people...people i don't know what i would do without, they've all been there for me. and i'd like to thank everybody that has shown me care. i love you all

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i thought winter vacation was supposed to be that? a vacation. but no. i have to do fucking school work...god fucking dammit i hate geometry...i hate biology too...ms enos can fuck herself sideways for all i fucking care. fucking psychotic bitch...DIE ENOS DIE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bout time i did a full-fledged journal

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i posted a bunch of pictures from when i was at my uncle's house. very fun night it was .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well i think that's about it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

's for all my friends

for everyone else ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4153486/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4153486/ Sat, 25 Dec 2004 10:46:56 PST
i wish alice were here...

*sigh*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

can't get a subscription until i'm passing geometry

SHIT FUCK ASS FUCKING MOTHER FUCK ASS FUCK

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i want to set a christmas tree on fire just to see what it looks like

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i got my new toy today 5.1 mega pixels 10x optical zoom *drool* this is the kind of camera really poor photographers like myself beat off to...BUT I HAVN'T I SWEAR!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i need a live

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i love you all

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i think that's about it

-Kevin, tired of explaining christmas trees to ignorant christians ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4144799/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4144799/ Fri, 24 Dec 2004 10:52:37 PST
~switchboard
i like hugs


* is a Procrastinator
* is Male
* is a deviant since Jun 24, 2004, 2:48 PM
* has 4,002 pageviews
* is located in United States
* is online
* is currently Bouncy

it took me 22 days to get 1,002 page views...

think i can get 998 in less?

thanks to everybody for watching me

i love you all ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4133517/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4133517/ Thu, 23 Dec 2004 05:48:07 PST
got 3k about 3 weeks ago...actually 3 weeks ago today

so...i only need like 80 more i think...SO PLEASE HELP!!!

if i do get 4k by the end of today i will be content.

that's about it...

oh yeah...i'm still at school...today's the last day before break.



MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS

HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS

FUCK OFF ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4121425/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4121425/ Tue, 21 Dec 2004 17:22:25 PST
life sucks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

progress reports came today...and that's always a good thing *COUGH* >.< aparently i'm failing two classes...fucking teachers fucking suck

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i've had very bad headache's for the past 3 days in a row...yay...i might have a tumor...could be stress related though

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i hate life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i noticed...that whenever my friends are upset...i'm upset...which is most of the time...but now...since all my fucking friends are dying on me...does that mean i have to die now?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i don't like my parents

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i think i'm ready to start back with circle of friends...some of the greatest people are there...and just knowing that i'm helping somebody else instead of making myself a priority helps me feel alot better about myself and what i'm here for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my next photoshoot's gonna be some time in january. that's right bitches...i'm attacking the school systems now. i am so fucking awesome it's not even funny. little do they know that it's going to involve knives and fake blood...and my new camera.................................. ..................bitches

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

la da dee de dum

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

parents are yelling at me at a constant rate now..."you need geometry to go to a fucking art school" stupid fucking fuckers. i might not even go to college...i make more money then my dad...and he works 2 jobs...the stupid fuck...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i think i'm about done with this one

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Kevin, not flashy but it gets the job done ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4108009/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4108009/ Mon, 20 Dec 2004 04:00:00 PST
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

internet's working...stupid comcast...they think they can take my priooooooooooooooooooooousssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss(etc) internet away...so silly... i am so awesome it's not even funny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i might get a subscription soon

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ugh...912 days

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm doing a new project...i'm going to get pictures of like all these people from my school...people that either (A) look like deviants or (B) remind me of deviants. i realized last night that there is a large number of these people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it snowed last night...not alot but it's still there... much happiness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ever get really lonely at night? and wake up at like 3 crying?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ri passed away yesterday afternoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

life must go on. it doesnt' stop so you can look around and sort out your head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the kick off robotics competition is the 8th...that's like the biggest point in my life right now...much fun ahead

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i think i'm done with this entry...

-Kevin, hold your head high cause nobody is going do it for you ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4103670/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4103670/ Sun, 19 Dec 2004 14:54:34 PST i miss you all

i will return wednsday ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4074339/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4074339/ Wed, 15 Dec 2004 15:30:21 PST
and it just hit me how much i really am going to miss jake...he was like a brother to me...and now it's just hit me...i'm gonna miss him...

i want to go back...i want to take that cigarette from him...

i've had friends die on me before...and it's never hit me this hard. i dont' think i've ever cried this hard...

i dont' know...maybe i'm going to take a break from d.a....possibly from school...i know it's not possible.

this morning i guess i kinda shrugged it off...but now that i've thought about it...i'm really gonna miss him...

i want to be a kid again...and i want death to be the way it was...just hit the "a" button and you can start over

it's like...when somebody goes away for the summer or something...but this time...they're not coming back...you don't realy realize they're gone...then it hits you. they're gone

with this last breath i bid you adieu

-Kevin, crying for the life and death of everything

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[edit] i think i'm done with circle of friends...how am i going to help other people when i can barely help myself? i let amy down. i didn't mean to...but i had to just type the words...and tell her that i can't do it for now...i've let everybody down i'm sorry [edit] ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4058773/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4058773/ Mon, 13 Dec 2004 14:55:36 PST
alright...here we go

when i was 4 years old...my father hit me for the first time. i don't remember why...but i remember that it was christmas day, after we got back from my grandfather's house. this was the first time that he had ever hit me. after this though...it became more frequent. it pretty much stopped when i was 14.

when i was 6 years old he began the emotion abuse. telling me that my grades were horrible. i was not allowed to get lower then an "a" which is a 93 in my district for anybody with anythign different. i was harassed, and once again, beat if i did not do the best. he would make the biggest deal out of anything. i wasn't allowed to speak in public. i wasn't allowed to speak at home. i wasn't allowed to stay up past 7. i was hit if i didn't.

my father still continues the emotion abuse. i've told my mother that i want to go to therapy for it...but she just laughs and shrugs it off. i've made a jokester out of myself around home. this was a while ago...i was 13 i think. but now...i don't even bother. so usually i end up wallowing in my own depression...usually ending up cutting myself...

while i'm on the subject of cutting...

when i was 13 years old i cut for the first time...it was december 25...christmas...

my first suicide attempt was new years day. after my father came home from work very late. he was tired. and we had campted out in the living room. on the couch. my dad had obviously had a bad day at work. so he came home, frustrated...and hit me. i was just so tired of everything, saw myself as useless, and i went into my room and tried hanging myself, the rope came loose and i fell to the floor. i was his punching bag...then i hit puberty...then i started lifting weights. and i don't think he hits me anymore, because i think i could take him if i had to.

i ran away when i was 14...i went and lived in the little patch of woods near my house for a few days. nobody had notified anybody...shows how much they care right?

i hate my father

but he is where i get all of my inspiration from...one way or another

i mean...he's the one that drives me to the majority of my depression. when i'm depressed...i try to think of things to keep my mind off the subject. and to keep me from cutting...

time to explain the whole cutter thing

when a person cuts themself...it is to take their mind off of the physical pain. the adrenaline from seeing yourself bleed is enough to wash out the emotional troubles. keeps you from thinking

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contest sort of thing: ((inspired by * JVANDER)) tell me what love feels like for you. i'm gonna do a compilation i think...

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alrihgt...i'm done with this entry

-Kevin ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4054980/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4054980/ Mon, 13 Dec 2004 04:05:36 PST ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4042308/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4042308/ Sat, 11 Dec 2004 12:26:14 PST
i hate you

i hate you

i hate you

i hate you

i hate you

i hate you

i hate you

i hate you

i hate all of you

*la la la la la*

cept for my d.a. family...

EVERYBODY ELSE FUCK OFF! ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4032356/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4032356/ Fri, 10 Dec 2004 03:57:22 PST
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yeah, it's another one of those journals when i just write down things that have been on my mind...don't read it if you don't want to, but this is just a bunch of little things

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school still sucks...much hasn't changed...except that i'm actually doing my homework...and i'm doing work that i didn't do back then...so yay for me

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only 922 days till i get to see alice...yeah...seems like a bit away but i'm really anxious to meet her, she's so wonderful ooooooooooooof....can't wait.....

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rachel and i are talking again...and it's actually civil she's got a girlfriend i've got a girlfriend...she's less of a bitch...and i'm just...i'm less short tempered i guess...

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i've got a headache...

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good news is that it's friday. and i can stay up tonight and not worry about having to wake up early...shit...i can't do that...i'm talking to a friend of mine in south africa at 8 a.m.........dammit.........anyway, she's cool. like another one of my sisters. and another person i have to visit when i'm old enough...:sigh:

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i need a hug...dammit...i wish alice were here...i'm really lonely in the morning...nobody to talk to... ...a hug would really make my days...so if anybody goes to r.v....or lives in the area... I NEED A HUG

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i want to go to new york...a whole bunch of things i want to see...including amy...she's awesome...

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it sounds kind of odd but...i've realized that the majority of my friends are girls...my best friend is a girl...and i have like 4 guy friends...i don't really like hanging around guys...the majority of my watch list is female too...i've got like...6 guys i think... i just prefer to talk to girls... >.> i'm not cheating on alice eithier

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hi shivey

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i'm craving mint ice cream...

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well...i've decided i'm not going to college, much to the disappointment of my parents...but i don't need a college education to take pictures...i might take courses later on but not when i'm fresh out of school...

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the plan was to just visit england...for about a year when i'm 18...but...who knows...if things work out between me and her...i might stay...so if nobody hears from me then...i'll try to find internet access...i promise...please don't kill me...but yeah...

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i'm falling for alice......

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that's about it...i need to go get ready for school....later folks ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4016567/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4016567/ Wed, 08 Dec 2004 05:38:38 PST
i want to go home

i want to go home

yea...i sort of want to go home. i'm too tired for this. i don't want to be here. too tired. *sigh* yeah...only 15 days till winter break... that means i can sleep in when my dad isn't working, and get online all day when my dad is working *has no life*...yeah...they have the radio set to a really shitty station. playing all this hip-hop bullshit...god it's pointless...

GOD DAMMIT...

so annoied.

found out my friend got into some shit last night...she's having some troubles with her room mate. i won't divulge her name but...yeah...that's her business

i'm thinking about getting a print account. mortey said i should...do you think i should? be honest...cause if you do say yes i expect you to buy prints...if not...i'll send rabid kittens to your house...with overactive bladders...and you shall feel the wrath of a pissing cat.

i got a 20 dollar phone card...and it's international too. so if anybody wants to talk to me...just say sumtin. hi shivey...i was gonna call alice but she says she sounds like an idiot on the phone...i don't think she would...but whatever...ya know?

we've got like an hour left in class...and i got everything done yesterday...and i'm bored like to fuck...i think i'll troll the forums...

hmm...speaking of blowing up large facilities housing children...

a friend of mine had a soda bottle lable on his locker at his school...it fell off...and somebody took it...and he said without thinking "god dammit, my label is missing...i should blow up the school" gotta love it...

i'm bored...

nobody is talking to me today...maybe cause i look depressed

so tired

people are talking about doing marijuana...god i miss those days...all of it...gave it up. don't need it anymore. promised myself i didn't. after alice and i became boyfriend and girlfriend life just doesn't seem that hard no more YES I WILL OVER EMPHASIZE THIS POINT!!!

i guess that's it...

OFF TO THE FORUMS!!!!! ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4016229/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4016229/ Wed, 08 Dec 2004 04:00:10 PST
*ketchup-suicide suggested that i get one...what do you guys think? ]]> ~switchboard http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4002663/ http://switchboard.deviantart.com/journal/4002663/ Mon, 06 Dec 2004 12:14:02 PST alice. ~ftvodka yeah. go see her. she's a cutie ^^

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things aren't so bad anymore, they don't seem that way at least. i don't know what it is. talking to alice has just made things better

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i'm officially doing shitty in school. i've got a 36 average in geometry, and i've got a 57 in biology...fuck it...i don't care

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friend of mine is in an internet relationship too. been trying to talk to him about it...he doesn't seem very happy recently. oh...he's not really that much of my friend. just say hey to him every once in a while he seems cool enough. i'd like to be friends with him.

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everybody...go see *dualdesigns work tis very good ^^ she's awesome

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one of the pictures i took of jill sold for 400 dollars, i'ts going to be in a steven king novel i'm so awesome. yay...public attention

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that's about it... ]]> ~switchboard