http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:tajniwolf&section=today deviantART RSS for by:tajniwolf en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:58:53 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/28787693/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/28787693/ Sun, 06 Dec 2009 13:23:44 PST

I really have been thinking a lot lately on how my goals in life have changed over the years, and was wondering what it was like for others, as well.

When I was a kid, I'd have told you I just wanted my life to be fun.

In my first years of high school, I'd have told you I just wanted freedom.

By the end of high school and the first year after I'd have told you I wanted to help others via God's work.

Within the first year or so after that, out on my own, I'd have told you I wanted to do great things. Fame, money, and thus to help people with that, and be remembered for it.

A year and a half ago, I'd have told you I just wanted peace, to be happy.

And now? I'm finding more and more I'm seeking wisdom, possibly family.


So is it just that I'm growing up? An internal thing? Or is it the changes that have occurred in my life that have made me change my goals? Or something else?



What about you guys?

What do you seek in life? Money? Family? Spirituality? Fame? Happiness? Peace? Knowledge? Wisdom? Fun?

How have your goals changed in your lifetime? Or have they at all? Have you achieved any goals?

I really am interested. I talk about myself in these journals all the time.. I want to know about others!

Tell me!

-CTW

~~~~~~~~~



]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/28569448/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/28569448/ Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:39:14 PST

D8

I fail at keeping up with journals and comments, people. SORRY! >_<


Tagged by

1. Why did you join this site?
*shrug* Wanted to post my art somewhere and meet other artists, I suppose. It was a long time ago. I don't remember what I was thinking..

2. What does your username have to do with you? Is it a combination of your favorite things, or a character of yours?
Tajni was the name I gave to some random character waaaay back when I was a kid, then recycled as a screenname/char name for an rp character in #beastieschat (Beast Wars rp) on mIRC like..thirteen years ago (God, I feel old). Turned into a general screen name, a pen name, then a nickname for a while. Now I'm stuck with it.

3. What is your current icon of?
My fursona, doing what I commonly do time to time during dinner.

4. How many watchers do you have and how many people are you currently watching?
Uh.. lemme check. Hmn. 319 and 143

5. Do you have more than one account?
Started a photo account. I don't even remember the addy, honestly. Also started an account that was meant to be focused more on my HTR/human art.. gave up on that and just integrated it with the rest here. *shrug*

6. Name 3 of your favorite artists on DA.
's definitely one, always does some amazing/inspiring stuff.. gosh, there are just far too many more to mention/chose.

7. What deviant do you admire because of their personality?
ALWAYS makes me lol.

8. How many people on here do you actually know in reality? Post their avatars.
, , , , , , , (irl-ish. Spoken on the phone a few times, have yet to meet face-to-face)... am I forgetting anyone?

9. Do you comment, fave, or both?
I try to comment but fail at words, so I often just fav and/or leave a and run.

10. What do you typically post on deviantart?
Anything I can actually complete (which isn't much). Used to be more focused on animals and anthro, but have been going through a humanoid/superhero-ish phase the past year or so. =\ TRYING DESPERATELY to draw anthros again.. and failing. >_<

11. Do you participate in clubs or contests here on DA?
Clubs, not so much. Contests.. rarely. I don't usually have enough time/f... ]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/28420637/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/28420637/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:32:31 PST

Our 1 year wedding anniversary (Ben --><-- and I) will be here on Sunday, Nov 22.

It really doesn't feel like that long ago.. this year has gone by so quickly!

And while this year I haven't been overly present here on DA, I've still been getting quite a few favorites, watches, and most of all, support.

Any time any anniversary rolls around, it makes me think of everyone close to me, either via the internet or irl, that has been supportive of me for any amount of time.

Thank you all.

And thank you, Ben.

I've done a lot of growing up in the past year.. mentally, emotionally, spiritually.. and I couldn't have done it without Ben by my side. He completes me in so many ways, it's indescribable.

I don't want a single one of you out there to EVER settle for "good enough." Because when true love finally comes your way, it's beyond words.

I love you, Ben. SO MUCH.

And I love all of you out there on DA, too.

So I'm sending a bunch of virtual hugs to each and every one of you that reads this.

Thanks, guys.

-CTW


P.S: Still trying to sort through all my messages/journals/deviations.. AND am slowly but surely working on some art. I'll have something decent before December is over. I PROMISE.

~~~~~~~~~



]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/27524839/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/27524839/ Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:11:15 PDT

..to get caught up again.

I've been neglecting DA again and have a ton of stuff to read/look at/respond to in my inbox now.

*sigh*

I promised arts, didn't I?

Sorry, guys. It seems I'm still struggling with focus and the inability to ever FINISH anything. Ever. EVER.

Grah.

Aside from that, all goes well.

How are you all doing?

-CTW

~~~~~~~~~



]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/27199917/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/27199917/ Sun, 13 Sep 2009 21:02:19 PDT

..until our first anniversary.

And someone at work goes in and throws away our wedding cake.

Just two months.

Why was it stored there? Because we live in a home that houses four adults, all of which like to eat, and that share ONE (count them: 1) normal-sized freezer. So you can imagine it's always full. No space for our little cake box. Our managers said we could keep it there, and everyone knows us, so no one ever had a problem with it. No one uses the break room freezer anyway.

It's been in there for 10 whole months with no problems. Our names, "wedding" and "Do Not Touch" were written very clearly on it. Many people at work say they've seen it within the past couple weeks.

And today, sure enough, it's gone.

Someone actually took our WEDDING CAKE out of the freezer and threw it away.
_{And proceeded to leave a box of nasty, rotting popsicles and a random frozen glass in there.}

Now, let me ask you this:

WHY would someone do that?

Let's think about this-
You'd have to stand there and look in the freezer stare at a box with names on it, both of which are people who have worked there at that hotel for years, got MARRIED there at that hotel, and that almost every person knows... and without regard for anything other than the fact that you feel compelled to clean (?) a near-empty freezer that no one ever uses, you read the box, make the conscious decision to do what you need (?) to do, reach in, pick up the fairly-weighty box, and chuck it in the trash. And when you pulled that heavy box out, you wouldn't bother to look inside? You're going to throw it away.. shouldn't you know what it is and if it's gone bad and NEEDS to be thrown away? So IF you open this box, and see a BEAUTIFUL mini wedding cake inside, wouldn't you begin to think that maybe it's important? Especially since the box says "DO NOT TOUCH"..? Surely common sense must have tried to nudge its way into your brain at some point and urge you to, oh, I don't know, ASK one of the two people listed on the box? Especially since they're here almost every day of the week? It's not like one would have a hard time finding us..

I was furious.

I was HURT.

And after a loooong morning of insanity (which included our two coworkers that are better than everyone else [scoff] being jerks to my poor new easily-overwhelmed and mildly neurotic partner, which in turn caused problems for everyone else, which got people arguing, talking bad about others, and putting us behind in the laundry room a couple hours.. only to have everyone expect ME to go fix all the problems..even though I was never really involved in the first place..gah.) I miraculously managed to keep my cool, even with the knowledge that I was going to be working 5 hours more than usual that day. We decided to pointedly turn conversation to happier things, and my 1st anniversary was mentioned. The afore-mentioned new partner asked if I was going to have cake, so of course, I excitedly dashed into the next room to get my wedding cake to show it off... and found it wasn't there.

That was my breaking point. Kept randomly bursting into tears and having to go hide in the bathroom (I hate being so overly-emotional), and it took a while to compose myself.

BUT

I've calmed down about it now, but I can't tell you how much it still hurts me that someone would seriously throw our beautiful wedding cake away. I was upset yesterday because someone keeps throwing away my drinks (which also have my name on them).. but my wedding cake? Really?

I've come to terms now that there's no sense in staying angry over it, that there are bigger things, and the important part is that we still have each other.. and our housemates have survived our first year of marriage. (Congrats, guys, btw. We'll have to celebrate that too.)

I still want to know who's responsible, however. We're going to have a talk about common sense and respect.

Also, I hate football. That is all.

~~~~~ *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/26866672/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/26866672/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:27:33 PDT

Well, thanks to , I've got another year of pretty journals ahead of me.

*HUGGLES*

Thanks so much, man!

I definitely owe ya one



Also, on a completely unrelated note:

We saw District 9 last Sunday and alsdfh;aslkfha.skfsalkj GAH!!! It was so amazing!

For some reason I was thinking about it again today..
Has anyone else seen it?

-CTW

~~~~~~~~~



]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/26848137/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/26848137/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 00:33:35 PDT

Wow. My subby expires in three days.

Bummer.

I figured I'd make use of my purdy journal one last time.

It might be back later, but right now I think I have some more important financial obligations than a DA subby. It's okay.

I've been neglecting my account anyway.

Which leads me to my next thought: art.

I need an opinion, guys.

I feel that I've improved artistically quite a bit over the past few months.. now, while I can't prove that seeing as I haven't exactly UPLOADED anything recently, I'm sure you can just take my word for it.

My dilemma?
There's two actually:

1) I have quite a few in-progress pieces that were started months ago and worked on to near-completion before being pushed aside. And we're talking about pieces that I can't just easily modify. They're past the point of no return. Either I completely re-do them or finish them as-is.

Problem is I don't know that I have the energy to re-do them. I get emotionally attached to my artwork, and can often recall what I was feeling at the time I did a particular piece, so re-doing is it like killing a good friend and telling yourself that it's okay because a similar yet better-looking one will soon take his place.

What do I do?

2) Remember the emotional attachment thing? Yeah. I look into my gallery and see so much junk that makes me want to vomit because they're so terrible. But I almost can't stand to delete them because a)It allows me to see how my work has progressed and b)I'M EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED, GOSH DARNIT.

So.. what do I do?

Get rid of them? Keep them?

My gallery's getting cluttered with old, inferior JUNK.

*sigh*



------And now, a note about life-------


I would try to keep this short.. but we all know that won't happen. It's ME, after all. Plus, I have a lot to say.

So if you're uninterested in the major goings-on in my life, I understand if you quit reading now. (it has a very happy ending, however, unlike a lot of my journals. lol)

Where to start?

The past few months have seen such a drastic change on my part. Maybe not on the outside. But on the inside.

I can't really describe it, guys. It's like this overwhelming PEACE.

I used to be so angry. SO FULL of anger and bitterness. And I am, by nature, a negative person.

"I hate my life. I'm ugly. I'm worthless. I can't do anything right. My life's going nowhere. I never got to go to college. I'll be stuck doing nothing important my whole life. I'm stupid. I can't concentrate. The world won't let me be who I want to be. I'm crazy. My bits of talent are never quite good enough. I'm nobody. Every time I think I'm happy something happens. I'm in bad health. We can't afford the things we need. I always hurt the ones I love most."

etc etc etc.

This past winter was the beginning of my determination to overcome everything that was pulling me down. Mostly because I had to finally admit to myself that I had a problem and that it was affecting those around me.

It took a lot.. by nature I'm also a perfectionist, a bit neurotic, and someone who gets just absolutely SICK when justice is not served.. whether it be for an actual crime, or for a co-worker at work getting away with slacking off while everyone else struggled along.

But it all started with dealing with the anger.. and that started with an act.
When someone would do something that'd anger me at work, I'd shrug it off and pretend it didn't bother me. I'd tell people things like "It's okay." and "Don't worry about it." even if I was freaking out on the inside.

Then came talking more positively about others. If so-and-so makes everyone mad constantly and is just generally a bad person, I'd say "Well, yeah, so-and-so is kindof mean, but I'm sure it's because of problems in her life. That's unfortunate. I feel sorry for her."

When dealing with a difficult person, I found myself responding to hatefulness with kindness. And in a tense situation, found myself humming a song to myself.. which was almost like a shield against that negativity. It both served to calm me down and to give the other the impression that their hateful behavior truly didn't affect me, even if on the inside it DID bother me.

Verbally, I'd be more understanding, more sympathetic, more care-free.
Then I worked on my state of mind and my emotions. Every day I tell myself "It's okay. It's okay. Th... ]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/26450379/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/26450379/ Fri, 07 Aug 2009 17:56:34 PDT

Three things:

1) Facebook, anyone? (Yes, yes, bandwagon, I know. Bite me.) [link]

2) I'll be posting some new art soon, I swear.

~~~~~~~~~



]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/24882113/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/24882113/ Thu, 21 May 2009 21:37:11 PDT

Sorry, guys.

I've seriously neglected DA for a while.

Seems that I've discovered life away from the computer quite a bit lately.
And when I'm on, I'm usually busy doing somethin' else..

It's been a busy past couple months, and I'm currently working on many many projects at once.. a little bit at a time, of course.

I owe a ton of people apologies for delayed art, untended comments, and MISSED BIRTHDAYS.

HOLY FREAKING CRAP, guys, I am SO SORRY.

I had a few really good friends who I didn't even wish a happy birthday too.. SHAME ON YOU, TAJ!

-- Dude. Seriously. You were so sweet to go and buy me a subby for my bday and I didn't even leave a message on your front page or anything! GAH! Hope you had an awesome birthday, man. <3
-- Aaaagh.. Likewise, I forgot to send you birthday wishes, man. Hope you have a good one!
-- AY, CHICA. YOU BETTER HAVE HAD A GOOD BIRTHDAY. OR ELSE.
-- Aw, dude! I can't believe I missed it! Hope you had a good one! I miss talkin' to ya, man. =\
- I know it was yesterday, so maybe I'm not quite in hot water yet for missing it! lol! So awesome that you got to celebrate your first birthday as a mommy this year! ^_^ Congrats again, and happy late birthday!

Now.. I think I'll get started.
I've got over 300 deviations to look at and almost 500 messages to read. x_X
(you'd think I'd learn NOT to let myself get this far behind! >_<

I might have some art up soon.. I HAVE been working on some stuff, believe it or not.
I just need to finish it.

ha.

Love you guys. <3

-TW

~~~~~~~~~

*tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/24573594/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/24573594/ Sun, 03 May 2009 19:57:31 PDT

HOLY FREAKIN' MOTHER OF SOMEONE RATHER IMPORTANT ON A POGO STICK

Everyone, listen.

Go see the new Wolverine movie.

NOW.

No, I don't care what you're doing. Don't even bother to read the rest of this journal. Just drop it all and go see it.

GO!!


One word: Deadpool.
*DROOOOOOOOOL*

I had been excited about this movie for ages, of course, and was even MORE excited when it was confirmed that we were gonna get to see Deadpool in it. In fact, I was more excited about Deadpool than I was Wolverine.

In my relatively uninformed bliss, I expected simply a relatively short bit that included Wade before he became Deadpool..nothing incredibly exciting.. and I was okay with that. Very happy, actually.
But boy did I get more than expected.

I'd love to go on about it, but I don't want to spoil it for anyone.

Just go see it. Seriously. It'll be worth your $9, I promise!

What are you waiting for?!

-TW

~~~~~~~~~






BIRTHDAYS THIS MONTH

-1sthttp://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/24403080/ Thu, 23 Apr 2009 22:45:18 PDT

I apologize for my inactivity here.
_{..except for the random comment here or there}

I've been quite preoccupied elsewhere for the past few weeks.

And while a week ago, I wanted to write a journal telling about how I now have this strangely positive outlook on things (wtf) as well as a new determination to better myself, my body, my mind, and my life in general.. it seems to have dwindled lately.

I'm trying desperately to hold onto it, but every time I turn around, someone just knocks it right out of my hands.

I think my biggest grievance right now is the whole 'invisible' factor, which always, without fail, comes back to haunt me.

My opinion, my desires, my very presence.. overlooked.
As well as all the emotional and physical work I put into doing things for others.

You can only go so long without acknowledgment of those things before you snap.

And I think I'm getting close.

But I'm trying to hang on.

It's unfortunate that I can't ever post more positive journals. Unfortunately, it seems that this is always the place I run to in order to vent, rather than to tell everyone all the good things that are happening in my life and in my mind.

As for what I've been doing..

I've been slowly working on some long-overdue art (drawing-related art has been incredibly hard lately, for some reason), and have started a big new project.

I say big.
And the past few weeks or so ago, it was big. In my head, at least.
It was one of those projects that I knew was gonna be awesome. And I was so determined I was gonna do it and succeed (in a way).

But I'm losing sight of my goals, have found it incredibly difficult to focus, and have gotten quite overwhelmed, a good part of it due to other aspects of my life.

Needless to say, I'm still alive. Still kickin'.

But here within the next few days I may very well be kickin' PEOPLE. In the teeth.
Cuz I'm getting kindof fed up.

Anyway.

With all the inactivity and the lack of any sort of art that any of my watchers would care about, I doubt I've even got anyone out there still with me.

lol

But that's okay.

Can't promise anything really impressive soon.

Maybe I'll just keep away from DA for a while.

I don't know.

I'm incredibly confused about things right now.
_{And kindof lonely}.

Ah, well. This too shall pass.

..eventually.

Thanks guys.
-TW

~~~~~~~~~

http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23835547/ Sun, 22 Mar 2009 16:24:00 PDT

Tagged by
1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must tell 8 things about themselves.
3. At the end, you have to tag 8 people, and post their icons in the journal.
4. Go to their page with a comment saying you tagged them.
5. NO TAGBACKS.


1) I love the winter. Mostly because I like snow and being able to wear more clothes.

2) I get paid $8/hr to do laundry for a hotel. Exciting, I know. But for some reason, I love my job. (Guess I enjoy having a brainless job where I don't have to deal with customers)

3) I've recently rediscovered my love for polymer clay.

4) I have blue hair dye sitting under my sink that I've never been able to use (stupid jobs)

5) My art is inspiration-based. It's virtually impossible for me to work on/finish a project unless I'm in the right mood to do so. This is why I couldn't do anything art-related for a living.

6) I'm next to obsessed with those paid-surveys/paid-emails/rewards websites. And have gotten lots of stuff/money from them over the past year or so!

7) I love talking to people online, but can hardly ever get myself to initiate conversation.

8) I've recently discovered something else to add to my list of fears. It now reads: Large bodies of water, caterpillars, pickles, ghosts (scared of but obsessed with), and black holes.

Gah. Hate this part. I always have a hard time pickin' people to tag. I'm only gonna tag 5.
Because I can.


~~~~~~~~~

http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23765500/ Wed, 18 Mar 2009 15:01:34 PDT

If a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, then a journalful of awesome makes the world go 'round.

HA!
I'm so poetically talented!

But no, really.


Working in laundry room at the Hilton earlier today:

Sue: But no, especially nowadays, kids ain't cheap.
Taj: *shrugs, gives the "you're-prolly-right"-nod, continues folding sheets*
Sue: *laugh* You know, I can't ever imagine you with a baby.
Taj: *raises eyebrow*
Juan: *is walking by, hears Sue, pauses* "Who, her?" *points at Taj*
Sue: *grins and nods*
Taj: >_> ;
Juan: *busts out laughing* "Wit kids? Yeah, right."
Taj: <_< ;;
Juan: "I got two words for you alls. Addams Family."


Ohhhh, I almost couldn't stop laughing. That really made my day. Seriously.

Juan really is a piece of work. Haha!



ALSO!



OMGLOLILUJAWSY

She did this almost a week ago, and I really have no excuse for waiting this long to show you guys, except that I'm friggin' lazy and get distracted way too easily.

And if you don't get it, then you FAIL. Because you NEED to go watch Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog.

Pure awesome, that. Pure awesome.



http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23496292/ Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:49:32 PST

It's like 53 degrees F in my room right now.

Our furnace is dead.

And we've discovered that even though it's still freezing outside and is BARELY even into March, Walmart is no longer selling heaters.

They're now selling air conditioners.

And bikinis. (No, seriously. In March.)

Cuz.. ya know.. that really helps us right now.

Anyone else freezin' their ass off right now?

-TW

P.S: I'm TRYING to get caught up with replying to comments and deviations. Gonna take me a while, though. So be patient with me. It's been one freaking heck of a week.






BIRTHDAYS THIS MONTH

-1st-5th-9th:
-12th-19th http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23437010/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23437010/ Fri, 27 Feb 2009 16:48:34 PST

Really?

SERIOUSLY?!

So, I knew this show existed, but I've only ever seen a couple episodes. Once, because my mother pretty much forced me to and another because.. well, because there was nothing else on and we all tend to be fascinated with things that cause such intense emotions to rise within us.. and in this case, that emotion was absolute and pure revulsion.

This show represents one of the most basic things that's wrong with our society.

Materialism. Conformity. Shallow and unrealistic standards.

Out of desperation to find SOMETHING to watch tonight while eating dinner, I was inexplicably drawn to turn the station to an episode of "What Not to Wear" that had just started. Come to find out, it was an episode that hit a little close to home.

And now I want to vomit.

It was about a girl named Natalie that grew up loving superheroes (which was, apparently, discouraged by her mother), and grew up to BECOME a sort of superhero. She's now a professional fire fighter, and a bit of a tom boy (understandably).

Her wardrobe consisted mostly of jeans and funny t-shirts and a ton of superhero-related shirts and things. It all looked comfortable, definitely made a statement about her personality, and best of all, WAS ORIGINAL.

To be honest, I would have given ANYTHING to have her wardrobe!

Aside from a few particularly girly looking shirts, I loved all of it. Wished I could afford such a collection. And I caught myself thinking about how awesome it was to see someone else out there that liked such things, and so willingly made an active attempt to let the world know that they were a bit different.

Her family and friends all made similar statements: Her taste was unusual, seemed a bit 'juvenile' (as if she was still holding onto a bit of her youth..nothing wrong with that), that she stood out in a crowd, and "was definitely her."

I really don't see the problem here.

Enter the "experts."

Now, if this show in any way claims to be out to improve people's self esteem, they're full of s**t. Because the next huge part of the show consisted of them making fun of her. MAKING FUN. PUTTING HER DOWN. And telling her how RIDICULOUS she looked in all her favorite clothes. ..the clothes that she had been wearing every day for years.. the clothes that spoke out as to who she was.

WHO

THE

F**K

HAS THE RIGHT TO DO THAT TO ANYONE?!

Oh, but you're on public television. So it MUST be okay.

So they get rid of all her beloved apparel.

It was painful to watch. They picked up every one of her favorite shirts and you could see the look in her eyes..the attachment. The love for those garments. They made a statement about her. And these people stood there and made fun of each and every one of them, and threw them into a pile.

Then they go through a 'transformation' process that involves them telling her what she SHOULD be wearing, then send her out with $5000 to spend on new clothes that fall into the realms of what they deem 'acceptable.' During the first part of it when she's trying to pick stuff out herself, they sit there and make fun of everything she looks at, everything she has to say, every opinion she has..

And by the end of the show, the 'new her' that everyone so willingly fawned over, that everyone was so excited to see... just looked like another random preppy girl walking down the street.

She was no longer an individual.

She was one of the herd.

Not only that, but they actually listed the price of some of these hideous new clothes she was wearing.

My least favorite was a flower print dress that everyone said looked fantastic on her. $325.

$325!!!!

For those of us who can barely afford to spend more than $20 on either a shirt or a pair of pants.. that's unbelievably unrealistic! That's almost an entire paycheck for me! You know how many GROCERIES that would buy?!

And everything they put on her with horribly expensive as well.

All to make her nothing more than just another girl.
A sheep.

But it sickens me to think of the masses of people who probably watch this show. And even the ones who DON'T but STILL feel the pressures of these disgusting standards that society has. They're brainwashed into thinking that being yourself and wearing what you want to wear ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

That you have to have the expensive, nice clothing to be accepted into the world. That you have to fit everyone else's opinion of beauty..

It's sickening.

Utterly SICKENING.

And just the fact that... ]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23354428/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23354428/ Sun, 22 Feb 2009 23:31:35 PST

Worthless.

Ugly.

Stupid.

Never good enough.

And entirely not worth your time and understanding.

I mean really.

It's been confirmed and proven time and again.

And tonight as well. Repeatedly.

<sub>And don't bother commenting. I'm not crying for your freaking sympathy. It's just.. sometimes you feel like you need to shout it to the world just to get it out. And just in hopes that someone might hear you.

And understand.</sub>



BIRTHDAYS THIS MONTH

-2nd-5th-5th:
-12th-17th(Lilly's)-23

Yell if I missed you or messed somethin' up! *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23296999/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23296999/ Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:54:43 PST

I'm musing on possible ways to step up my art and trying to think of ways to kickstart my motivation.

My inspiration's mostly back, it's just the motivation thing.

That, and I'm thinking about chocolate cake.

Because I want some.

Bad.

What's on your mind?

-TW



BIRTHDAYS THIS MONTH

-2nd-5th-5th:
-12th-17th(Lilly's)-23

Yell if I missed you or messed somethin' up!



http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23183955/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 21:51:31 PST

This cotton candy is crunchy. o_O

----

Also, this is AMAZING --> [link] <--
WARNING, however. It might be disturbing to some. So if taxidermy freaks you out, don't click it. Creeped poor Ben out tonight when I showed him.

But for those of you who want to see a truly original artistic medium and an AMAZING concept, check it out. I think my favorite is probably either the rabbit or the turtle (turtle: --> [link] )

---

So restless.
For some strange reason I really want to work with clay. Or paint. Or beads.
Guess I'm just getting really tired of sitting in front of the computer and sketching. Nothing's seeming to come out right. And I HATE that. >_<

Cuz I owe people stuff. And it's looking terrible.

Gah.

Also, I'm dreading going to work on Sunday.

Cuz a HOTEL is the LAST place you want to work the morning after Valentine's Day. ¬_¬

And I get to handle all the towels and bed linens down in the laundry room.

*grumblesigh*

-TW



BIRTHDAYS THIS MONTH

-2nd-5th-5th:
-12th... ]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23139873/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23139873/ Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:10:45 PST

I SHOULD have been a boy.

(Stolen from )
(Because I should be doing productive things.)
(And this is more fun and time consuming.)
(And I like muffins.)

YOUR BOYSIDE


[x] you love hoodies
[x] you love jeans
[x] dogs are better than cats
[/] its hilarious when people get hurt
[/] shopping is torture (half the time, yes.)
[X] sad movies suck
[/] you play XBOX 360/PS2
[ ] you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
[ ] at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter
[ ] you owned a DS PS2 or Sega
[x] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[ ] you watch sports on TV (ICK.)
[x] you go to your dad for advice
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball hats
[ ] you used to/collect collector cards
[ ] baggy sweatpants are cool to wear
[/] its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[x] green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors
[/] you love to go crazy and not care what other people think (I do. But it doesn't happen that often any more. *sigh*)
[ ] sports are fun (DOUBLE ICK)
[x] you talk with food in your mouth >_> (try not to..)
[ ] you sleep at night with your socks on
[x] you have fished at least once
Total: 11.5

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

[/] you love to shop (the other half of the time. Though ‘love’ is a bit strong of a word.)
[x] you wear eyeliner
[ ] you wear the color pink (*gag*)
[ ] you go to your mom for advice
[ ] you consider cheer-leading a sport (If by ‘sport’ you’re implying like.. hunting/shooting/maiming.. )
[ ] you wear very little black (what other color is there? o_O)
[ ] you hate wearing the color black (WTF)
[ ] you like going to the mall
[ ] you cried watching walk to remember (never seen it, never will.)
[ ] skirts are frequently a part of your wardrobe
[ ] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
[ ] you take around one hour to shower
[/] you are/were in gymnastics/tumbling (for a few years when I was a kid.)
[ ] you smile a lot more than you should
[/] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes (but only wear 2 or 3)
[x] you care about what you look like
[ ] you always/sometimes wear dresses
[/] you like wearing body spray (I like to smell.. goodish?)
[ ] you like high heel shoes
[ ] you used to play with dolls as a kid (lol. Ohhh, my mother tried to hard to make that happen.)
[ ] you like putting makeup on others
[ ] pink is one of your favorite colors
[ ] you laugh more than you breathe
[x] you absolutely love chocolate (but of course.)
Your total: 5



BIRTHDAYS THIS MONTH *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23052830/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23052830/ Sat, 07 Feb 2009 02:47:04 PST

I'm better now (mostly) so maybes I can get going on art now.

I've got a few things that COULD be uploaded, a couple things that SHOULD, and a couple overdue commissions to finish up.

SO.

Yeah.


ALSO, ALSO,

~apawhite went and upped my subby a few months last week.
Cuz he's an awesome person, that's why!



Oh, and one more thing.

Have sum ninja cat.
[link]

I need to finish writing somethin' and get to bed now. It's almost 5am.

[EDIT]
ALSO, ALSO, TOO

You should click this. Because it's an awesome deviation.
_{and because it has a picture of me as Layla and I'm an attention whore 8D}

but mostly just because he did a great job with these.



[/EDIT]

-TW



BIRTHDAYS THIS MONTH

-2nd-5th-5th:
-12thhttp://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/23014185/ Thu, 05 Feb 2009 03:32:11 PST

..this cake is great!
It's so delicious and moist!


*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

Ahh! It's one of those journals that everyone clicks on and then leaves cuz they see it's about the birthday of someone they probably don't know BUT OMG IF YOU LEAVE NOW I'LL TRACK YOU DOWN AND TEAR YOU TO PIECES _{mmkay? kthanx ilu} YOU HAVE TO KEEP READING.
_*twitch*

Today just happens to be the birthday of two very important people in my life.



and have the same birthday.

Lessee what else they have in common:

They both make me laugh
They both love Trek
They both talk funny
They're both much too far away for me to hug right now. ;_;

Some things they DON'T have in common:

Hexit is a guy. To my knowledge, V is not.
V can do funny things with her tongue. ..not so sure about Hexit.
Hexit hunt biscut. V hunt tittycake.
Hexit is not a raisin and does not say y'all. V does not wear a monocle and top hat.

I think that covers all the bases, yes?

Now, on to the party.

I BAKED YOU GUYSES CAKES BUT YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP! D= WTF?!



But no, really.

Happy birthday, guys.

And to EVERYONE ELSE, if you've made it this far, It's so easy just to take THREE SECONDS to stop by their pages and say hi or look through their gallery and check out their stuff, even leave a comment on a pic (omg, what a concept!)

They're both wonderfully talented people, and two very dear friends of mine.

-----> <--- !!! ---> <-----

Love you all.

-TW

*tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22985727/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22985727/ Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:49:21 PST

Get the flu.

Last week I weighed in at about 118 pounds, unhappy at myself for gaining 3 or 4 over the past few weeks (late night junk food before bed, no doubt).

Yesterday (and still today, actually) I stepped on the scale out of morbid curiosity to find that I'm down to 105

HOW THE FREAKING HECK DO YOU LOSE 13 LBS IN FOUR DAYS?!

I know it's probably mostly water weight, seeing as I'm still incredibly dizzy and weak, prolly due to dehydration.. and I've been able to keep very little in my system as of late.. BUT STILL.

13 LBS in 4 DAYS?

If I weren't so sick, I'd almost be proud of myself.. lol. And if it weren't such a miserable feeling, I'd be enjoying the appearance of my frighteningly-flat belly right now. haha

That's it, guys!
We have our next stupid marketing scheme:

MIRACULOUS INSTANT WEIGHT LOSS: The FLU Pill!
_{(Side effects may include losing it at both ends, dizziness, fainting, a hatred for seafood, and random pointless DA journaling.)}


-TW























*tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22950960/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22950960/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 19:03:22 PST

I got $25 to ebay, $20 to Fazoli's, a swivel lamp for my craft area, a Tshirt, an XM radio..

..and the flu.


You know how frustrating it is to have all your family drive ALL the way out to spend a weekend with you, and take you out to an expensive meal..

..only to come right home and throw it right back up?

And I promise you, if there's one thing you DON'T want to taste twice, it's salad and snow crab legs from Red Lobster.

And then I proceeded to spend the ENTIRE night Friday emptying the contents of my body every 30-40 minutes until about 7:30 am. EVEN WATER MADE ME SICK.

And instead of continuing to celebrate on Saturday, as was planned,
Ben's family left before I could manage out of bed to say goodbye.
The plans to go get the car my mother wanted to give us fell through.
And my parents stopped by, but wouldn't stay. Said goodbye to my dad, but my step mother wouldn't even come out of the camper for fear of getting sick too.

Spent most of Saturday resting and drinking Gatorade, and today I'm so incredibly dizzy and weak that it's hard to do ANYTHING. I think that's probably because I haven't had any real food since Friday, but even after forcing myself to eat today, I'm STILL dizzy (possibly moreso), AND have an upset stomach.

This sucks, guys.

And I totally blame it on the fact that I decided to do something for my birthday.

EVERY
SINGLE
YEAR
I decide to do something, something terrible happens.
(and yet, I keep getting my hopes up.. WHY?)

I think it's a curse, really.

And I think I'm officially going to change my birthday.
Maybe to sometime in July.

Cuz this sucks.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I need to go pass out on my bed again.

-TW

(P.S: WHY IS THERE NO 'sick' EMOTICON FOR THE 'mood' THINGY?! I SWEAR I've seen them before, but I just went through every SINGLE one and couldn't find it! Grah!)























http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22889841/ Thu, 29 Jan 2009 17:00:16 PST

That's halfway to 50!!

Which is only a few years away from.. well.. DEAD!

So.. tomorrow, I'll officially be halfway dead.

---

So.. many of our wedding gifts are still sitting in their giftbags and/or have been transferred into the many giftbags that quite literally cover the floor of our small piano room. There's also various craft materials and a box that (apparently) has some old candy in it.

For almost a year now, we've had mice in the house.

And for the past couple weeks, Ben and I have watched a mouse (or two) go in and out of our piano room.

I knew he was up to no good, but cleaning up that room was going to be quite a task. A task which I put off until today.

So..

While going through the first few bags and emptying them of their contents (towels, a couple decorative pillows, cards, etc) I kept finding some very interesting things.

No signs of mice, but in the very bottom of the first bag, I found one (perfectly in tact)Hershey's kiss. A Christmas one from this year.
Out of place, yes, but I assumed that maybe it had been dropped there and somehow fallen to the bottom of the bag.

At the bottom of the next I found one (in tact) mini Reese's peanut butter cup.

In another, one more kiss.

I figured that maybe someone (me, even?) had simply spilled some candy in there or something.

But then I finally came across a bag that had three hazelnuts and an (unwrapped) one-fourth of a chocolate Easter egg.

I lol'd.

And, having teethmarks on the chocolate, it was quite apparent that it had been chewed into this particular shape/size. I'm supposing for the purpose of easier transport.

The mouse has apparently been taking candy out of the box in the corner and stashing it in the various gift bags, placing one or two things in each.

But that selection just made me laugh, and to be honest, made my day.

Three hazelnuts and one fourth of a chocolate egg.

These mice are crazy.

Just thought I'd share.

-TW























*tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22773749/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22773749/ Sat, 24 Jan 2009 03:12:15 PST

||||||SHORT VERSION: HOLY CRAP WTF I'm back to using pencils now. And I'll be uploading some really crappy stuff before I upload my most recent stuff. There. Now you don't NEED to read the ramble unless you want to.||||||

--

Wow.

I swore off using pencils years ago, and have only been using pens and photoshop for my art.

And now, unexpectedly, I'm right back to pencils. RED pencils, to be more specific.

And I'm proud of myself. I'm actually sketching in a sketchbook as opposed to cheapo computer paper.

I dunno. I have a ton of stupid little quirks, and that was one of them. I didn't want to draw in a sketchbook because I felt I'd mess up too much and waste the paper..and wouldn't have it anymore. (As if I couldn't just go out and buy a new one.)
Yeah. It makes no sense when I put it into simple terms, but it is a little more complicated than that and in my head it always made perfect sense.

Oh well.

I think I blame Ben.
I started getting back into more serious drawing when began wanting to improve his artistic abilities and asked for a bunch of art supplies/books for Christmas.

Weird.

---

Ever get ahead of yourself?

I have this tendency to do some artwork and let it sit on my computer for months (even years in a couple cases) without uploading it for whatever reason. And then keep forgetting about it.

Then, months later, after I've made some artistic improvements, I'm too embarrassed to show anyone, even though I LIKE the picture. And since I like the old art (or feel it NEEDS to be uploaded at some point), I don't want to upload NEW stuff until the OLD stuff is up...

..but can't upload the OLD stuff...

It's an endless loop.

In other words, I have probably ten times more art sitting on my computer than I have uploaded to this site.. and I've been sorting through it recently.

Most of the old stuff is simply too out of date or just too.. well.. crappy to upload. But I have some fairly recent (but still CRAPPY) stuff to upload.

So be patient with me.

I just really feel I need to get it up and out of the way before I start showing everyone the art I've been doing the past couple weeks.

Anyway.

I'm gonna shut up now cuz it's 5am and I should be sleeping.

I think.

-TW

||||

LATER. I'll upload stuff later.
I'm too freaking tired right now. Just wanted to warn people.
AND remind myself.

Cuz I forget things.

nyeh.

||||














http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22677420/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 16:02:30 PST

Think I wanna either find or make a calendar to mark all the birthdays of my friends and watchers.

This in no way means I'm gonna be able to do gifts or anything. I'd just like to know.

Cuz I'm nosy.

And forgetful.

N'stuff.

-TW




















http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22625193/ Sat, 17 Jan 2009 00:22:25 PST

I just came inside from watching our neighbor's house burn.

It doesn't seem real.

I'm not entirely sure anyone actually lived in that house currently. We see people there from time to time, but our other neighbors said that they lived somewhere else and were trying very hard to sell the place.



Ben came running into my room yelling "The neighbor's house is on fire!"
Which elicited my disbelieving response "..what?!"
"Our neighbor's house," he repeated, "Is burning."

I'm almost ashamed that my first instinct, of course, was to ask where the camera was. It's sortof an automatic thing when something exciting is happening.

And while this definitely isn't a GOOD thing, it was definitely exciting.

Went to the front door with ~obi-wan8403, ~Donxiote, and ~ConnMan8D (my hubby and housemates), and looked outside to see snow on the ground and flames rising from the roof of the house to the right.

I stood in the front yard for quite some time watching. There were police cars and emergency vehicles lining the street..all these flashing lights causing the smoke from the fire to sortof glow eerily.

It's morbidly intriguing.
Fire is so powerful.. you just watch as it consumes everything.
And watch all the firemen struggle as they aim the hose.. and the water seems to do very little.

And when they started shouting and moved from the front of the house to the back.. when the area of the roof they had been spraying lit back into flames with a bright burst of light, I found myself in tears.

While it is intriguing, it's frustrating.
And sickening. This was someone's life.. burning. And part of your brain can't understand why they can't just.. make it stop.

And while they were concentrating on the back I watched as it spread slowly to the right until it reached the top edge of the house and moved downward onto the siding. You could hear glass shatter.. and could hear the entire house sizzling. You could smell the bitter smoke from wood and plastic.

Oh, guys.

It's just unbelievable.

And while I'm ashamed that I couldn't quit watching, you have to admit that it's something that's very hard to look away from.

But it really puts things in perspective.

Sitting here at my computer surrounded by the mess of papers and various items in the house that make up my life, I've begun to think about how quickly it could all be taken away.

And how it would feel to stand in the front yard and watch it all burn, unable to understand why it was happening, unable to understand why I couldn't just make it stop, yet unable to look away..

Appreciate what you have, guys.
It could all be gone tomorrow.




















http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22479041/ Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:32:41 PST

Tell me something I don't know!







...




















http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22471897/ Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:54:33 PST

Sitting here for an hour writing a journal then deciding you can't post it because it's too negative.

I mean, it's the same ol sh*t I'm sure I bitch about here every once in a while.

Tired of being in pain, tired of the system, tired of society in general, tired of feeling worthless, blah blah blah.

What sucks is that I just wasted an entire hour.
An hour.
And can't say what I want to say.

Though I suppose I just did, in a way, didn't I?

*sigh*

Furthermore, what sucks is that while (especially lately) I've been able to stay happy (on the outside, at least) and cheery and all that bulls**t, depression is unbelievably inspiring to me. I want so badly to think happy thoughts and quit hating myself, but it's almost like an addiction.

I mean, you know how much artwork I could get out of feeling like this?

How do you decide what to do?

Does this happen to anyone else, or am I just some sort of freak?




















http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22292880/ Wed, 31 Dec 2008 02:43:52 PST

TICKERS.

I HAVE THEM.

Also, I can fit candy canes through my ears now. o_O

That is all.

-TW




















http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/22228860/ Sat, 27 Dec 2008 15:43:04 PST

Hope everyone had a great holiday, whatever you celebrate!

Now that we're back, the holidays are over (well, sortof) and things will hopefully settle down a bit, I'm bound and determined to do some productive things artistically.

I've convinced myself that come the new year, I need to make a few changes. That is, of course, with my life, my priorities, and how I spend my time.

And on a smaller, more specific scale, some of the things I'm hoping to change/do include:
*organize my room/stuff
*get a new hair cut (OMGHOLYCRAP)..(dunno if I can do this one.)
*reorganize/update my DA gallery
*accomplish something artistically

I'm determined to put down the digital tablet a bit more often and try my hand again at some traditional mediums.

And I want to start something big.
Not in size, I mean, but rather something important to myself. An ongoing project that I can hopefully keep at for a long time. It'll sortof be a test for myself, just to see if I can do it.

Like what?
Like a comic.

About what?
Probably my current obsession. (OUR current obsession.. Ben and I are both in this, actually.)
..which just happens to be the World of Supers rp Ben's heading up.

The role play itself has just barely begun. We're just now starting the second episode, but being married to the game master (who happens to be playing the main villain, Eclipse), I've ended up with an extensive amount of knowledge about the world and the backstories of his characters.. many of whom have only had cameos and/or have only been mentioned briefly in passing.

And while we were discussing many WoS related things during the HOURS of driving on our honeymoon, I've decided that some of the plans and ideas and stories would make wonderful comic material.

So, I'm determined to force myself to sit down and hash out all the technical artistic details, come up with character reference sheets, and then finally draw out and finish at least a few pages to start.

It's gonna be more work than everyone realizes.
I have an EXCEEDINGLY difficult time figuring out all the technicalities of a comic layout.. what panels should be put where, what angles to draw from, etc.

(I tried sketching out a few test panels while in the car so I wouldn't forget what we had planned.. and even THAT was hard.)

Add to that the fact that I seem to have a hard time drawing a character more than once (accurately, at least), and you've got on frustrated Taj.

BUT.
That's what I'm hoping to do.


SO. Yeah.

You know, it's gonna be hilarious when I end up dropping all the projects/pieces I hope to do once this inspirational period disappears.

That would suck.

Anyway..

And now this is the part where I make myself a long, overwhelming looking to-do list (because I love lists so much).

I doubt anyone will read it, or even know what I'm talking about, but the purpose is mostly just to keep myself on track, and to see what all I had planned and when..and how much I've actually accomplished.

So, here goes nothin!

TO DO:
(WANT to do, at least)

Commissions:
~Impavidus: Create fursona
Tammy: Dark fairy

Character Sheets:
Sunny: http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/21980793/ Sun, 14 Dec 2008 12:59:18 PST

He came out today!!

I've missed that little stinker.
(not so little, anymore, however)

Also, sorry for going all emo on you guys yesterday. I was kindof spazzin' out for a while there.

Guess I'm over it.

Still have a list of things I wish I had time to do.

Damned holidays.
>_<

Oh well.

Think I might make Gozer a santa hat today.

-TW







http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/21964360/ Sat, 13 Dec 2008 13:31:55 PST

Why can't I just be happy all the time?

Why can't I just not feel guilty about things that aren't my fault.
And why can't this inspiration just go away?
I have things that I'm so excited about right now..things I want to do, things I want to talk about.. but no one I talk to really cares.

I know I'm just being selfish, but after a while it really gets to you, ya know?

And then you have to resort to writing a pathetic journal on DA to vent so that you don't implode and so that you can feel like you've been able to talk to someone.

I'm sure I'll be back to delete this or bump this journal in like, an hour or two after I've convinced myself that I'm just being a self-absorbed idiot.

-TW


Ever just suddenly have the seemingly random urge to cry?







http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/21917558/ Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:53:06 PST

Yeah.

I lied about posting a journal the next day.

I'm such a slacker.

Just haven't really had much motivation to write.. PLUS, I was kindof wanting to upload photos somewhere and link to them when I wrote about my wedding and the trip.. so I suppose I'll just give ya the basic rundown:



PRE-WEDDING

-Didn't quite get my dress finished, but it was wearable, so THERE. Everyone ELSE loved it.

-Lost 10 lbs due to stress (yay, I guess! Except that I gained it ALL back within the first week of my honeymoon! Boo!)



DAY OF WEDDING

-Total freak-out, lost my gloves, found my gloves was almost and hour late getting to my wedding, was so nervous during the ceremony that we forgot to do the 'recognition of the parents' part.

-Due to photo session, was late for the reception/dinner, but had a blast (awesome that my appetite had finally returned)

-SURVIVED (but was so tired I don't remember half of that day! ha!)


HONEYMOON (roadtriiiip!)

-Two nights in an amazing two-room suite in Jefferson City, MO (livingroom, bedroom with a hot tub, big flat-screened TVs with cable.. Yeah, we just stayed in and ordered pizza XD.

-San Antonio, Texas (Alamo, Riverwalk, Market Square- amazing food at authentic Mexican restaurant..we were serenaded by mariachis XD )

-Roswell, New Mexico (crazy alien town. It was thanksgiving.. everything was closed except one gift shop. Took photos, went to see Bolt. I CAUGHT A TUMBLEWEED! 8D Had Thanksgiving dinner on the road out at a tiny Denny's diner out in the middle of NOWHERE somewhere in the mountains of NM)

-El Paso, Texas (tired from driving- had nice hotel room [Embassy Suites]..stayed in, watched a movie, ate leftover pizza, swam, etc. White Sands National Park the next day on our way out.. WOW. GORGEOUS.)

-Phoenix, Arizona (Very neat looking town. Went to the Heard Museum)

-Durango, Colorado (Only intending to stay over night and head out the next day, but discovered that this was an AMAZING little town hidden up in the mountains! Great food, nice people, fun shops, BEAUTIFUL scenery!)

-Canon City, Colorado (Ended up canceling plans to go to Royal Gorge. Went to see the 700 year old Anasazi ruins in Manitou Springs instead. WOW.)

-Denver, Colorado (Didn't go out like planned. Bought Ben Wall-E as a bday gift, watched movie, swam, ordered pizza. Went to Dave & Busters on second night to celebrate Ben's bday. )

Came home.

And today was my first day back to work in three weeks. Geh.

I think I need a new job.

Oh well.

It's kinda good to be home I missed Mancha and Greg. (~Donxiote and ~ConnMan8D <-- go say hi. Call them names or something.)

..and Gozer, who's still sleeping (though he actually woke up and came out the day that we got home! ..which was odd, seeing as the only other day he came out was the day we were getting ready to leave.. o_O )

Anyway.. I'mma shush now.


-TW







http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/21824669/ Thu, 04 Dec 2008 23:53:13 PST

*crawls back into house half-awake, half-alive*

soo.. much.. driving...

x_@

-TW

P.S: We're back! I'll hit you guys up tomorrow with a more detailed journal. Maybe even a photo or something. Or cake. Does everyone like chocolate?







http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/21613459/ Sat, 22 Nov 2008 11:57:57 PST

I can't believe it's already here.

So many things I would have liked to do before now, but I only have two hours and fifteen minutes until my wedding begins.

But it's gonna work out.

No.

It's gonna be great.

I don't have a lot of time, but I felt compelled to sit down and thank all of you who are watching me, for however long, and for whatever reasons.

And to all my friends online. And to thank all of those who talk to me and leave me comments, etc.

Thanks for stickin' around, guys. And I feel privileged that you all are here (sortof) at such an important time in my life. Such a turning point.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Today I finally become who I was meant to be.

Today I leave the house Ms. Cristin Thompson.. and come home Mrs. Benjamin Watkins.

You'll forgive my sappiness. (as much as I may try not to be) I'm a girl. And this is my wedding day.

I love you all.

Seriously.





-TW


My soon-to-be husband:

To some of my dearest friends, who have always been here for me.. and for Ben: THANK YOU.

Go show them some love, everyone.






PS: I'll try to get online at the hotels during the honeymoon and let you guys know what's up.







http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/21586333/ Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:43:13 PST

@_@;;

And I'm still trying to finish my wedding dress..

..it's not turning out a THING like I was hoping! >_<

Oh well.. it happens, right?

Hopefully I'll get it finished in time so I don't have to walk down the aisle in jeans and a T-Shirt!

Can't believe it's almost time already.

I'm startin' to get butterflies in my stomach when I think about it, guys..


-TW







*tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/21447244/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/21447244/ Tue, 11 Nov 2008 22:43:46 PST

---

Posted a couple Halloween pics. That was fun, but I'm pretty sure we got stiffed of both our prizes that we won that evening. ¬_¬

Oh well. We had fun anyway.
Maybe eventually I'll post a few more.

---

Quick update:

Ten days till the wedding..

Still don't have my dress done, nor the centerpieces finished.

There are a lot fewer people coming than were invited (only about half!), so, while we're disappointed people couldn't make it, it's bit easier on our pocketbooks.

Groomsmen's jedi costumes look GREAT! Ben's mom is such a wonderful seamstress! I've only seen one of the bridesmaids' dresses, and while I'm having some regrets at my choice of fabrics, they're still lovely.

I'm excited about the honeymoon. We'll be headed south and then out west. San Antonio TX, Roswell NM, and a bunch of other places I can't remember off the top of my head.

I'm just psyched about getting to be away from this place for two weeks.
No work! *happyflail*

I'm thinking of starting up my livejournal again so I can blog about the trip and post a few pictures. I don't want to flood this place with photos and overly long journals!

Got my ring in the mail.. and it's gorgeous!

Got our marriage license yesterday.
It's all becoming way too real.

As for the wedding itself.. I'm getting quite nervous.

I just have this feeling somethin's gonna go wrong.
Or that I'm not gonna have my dress done in time.
Or that I'm gonna end up bawling through the entire ceremony and make a fool of myself.

Or a combination of all three! >_<

Hoy.

But on the other hand, I feel like this all may just end up perfect.

Keep your fingers crossed for me, guys.

I may just make it through this yet.



-TW







http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/21131088/ Thu, 23 Oct 2008 20:37:10 PDT

I looked at the date today and silently panicked while sitting in my computer chair.

I officially have less than one month until my wedding.

Seeing as I have FAR too many things to worry about right now and not nearly enough time in which to do them, there are quite a few things that absolutely HAVE to be put on the backburner.

I haven't really been uploading much of anything for a while anyway, but this is the official announcement that you're probably not going to see ANY new artwork from me until after all this chaos clears.

I may post a journal or two with updates and other random things, or perhaps one or two of the art pieces I have floating around on my PC.. that is, if they surface while I'm rummaging for something else and they demand to be uploaded.

Apologies go out to any who may have had art in progress from me, but I simply HAVE to concentrate on this wedding!

Thanks to EVERYONE who have stuck around and dealt with my ups and downs, and have been supportive of me through everything. And thanks to everyone who has ever taken an interest in any of my stuff.

Gah. Sounds like a goodbye letter, doesn't it?

I guess I'm just gettin' all mushy thinkin' about such a big step in my life coming up.

And btw, for those of you interested, our wedding website is up (albeit not quite completed yet)--> [link] <---check it out if ya want.
(Just please don't spam our RSVP box with "not attending" messages! Yes, it's amusing. You can't make it. Because you live in England. Or China. Or Antarctica. Ha ha. But it causes a lot of chaos on our end!)

BUT, feel free to sign our guestbook! We love hearin' from everyone!

I love you guys.

-TW


P.S: ~Ravenwolf89, if you read this, I JUST realized I hadn't uploaded your piccy yet! I'll have that up ASAP!







http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/21037177/ Fri, 17 Oct 2008 19:22:22 PDT

This is the most epic combination of three things I love I think I've ever seen.

Rock.

Amy Lee.

Nightmare Before Christmas.

Enough said. Just watch the video.

Click meeeee!



-TW







http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20976710/ Mon, 13 Oct 2008 20:00:00 PDT

A little peace

And respect



Isn't that something we all deserve?




God, I just want to run away.
Me and Ben.







]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20904186/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20904186/ Thu, 09 Oct 2008 11:11:33 PDT

(Yeah. Poor Ben. They did a last minute switch of his schedule and he ended up working 12pm - 6am this mornin.. he's still snoozin'

Anyway..

So.. I was up this morning cleaning Gozer's terrarium and opened the front door to it so he could run around the house a bit.. and noticed...

..he has a huge lump on the right underside of his chin.

Now, he's got screen in his new terrarium that he loves to climb up and leap off of, often landing on his face on the rocks below (he's always loved to take those 'flying leaps of death' ever since he was quite small.. lol) so we're hoping it's just a swollen spot from one of his skydiving adventures and not something serious.. like a tumor or something.

*worriedsigh*

I've been stressin' about it all morning.

I'm gonna be doin' research online, but I was just wondering if anyone out there has bearded dragons too? Or ever heard of somethin' like this?


That, and I just felt like writing a journal.
Because I'm bored.
And because I haven't in a while.

So there.

-TW







http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20750896/ Mon, 29 Sep 2008 21:36:46 PDT

Tagged by

I get so far being checking my messages/reading journals it's not even funny >_<


1)Full Name:
- TAJNI. THAT IS ALL YOU GET. >_<

2) Male/Female:
- Female

3) Were you named after anyone?
- Middle name was after an aunt who died of cancer o.O

4) Does your name mean anything?
- *shrug* It means I'm gonna PUNCH JOO IN DA FACE.

5) Nick Names:
- Taj, Cris, Crish, Crshn (don't ask), Spazz.. my dad likes to call me Cristi-Jo ¬_¬

6) What do you think you look like?
- Bleh. Iiiicky. I has a huge nose, a giant forehead, and funny eyes o.O

7) Date of Birth:
- January 30, 1984

8) Place of Birth and Current Location:
- East St. Louis, IL; Columbia, MO

9) Nationality:
- Heinz 57 Mutt. (tbh, I have no clue)

10) Astrology Sign:
- Aquarius

11) Chinese Astrology:
- Rat

12) Religion:
- Christian

13) Whats your favorite smell?
- Vanilla =9

14) Political Position:
- GAH.

15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
- Water.

16) Hair + eye color:
- (natural? dishwater blonde)Current: Black + Green-brown

17) Do you look like anyone famous?
- Someone told me once that I have eyes like Sarah Michelle Gellar, but I don't believe that for one second. ¬_¬

18) What do you look like?
- Like a person.. I hope >_>

19) Any unusual talents?
- I can make funny noises. Oh! And do strange things with my left thumb and right pinky toe (not together, of course.. o.O )

20) Righty, lefty, or ambidextrous?
- Righty

21) Gay, straight, bi, or other?
- Straight

22) What do you do for a living?
- Laundry. (No, seriously. At a hotel. -_- )

23) What do you do for fun?
- surf the net, artwork, hang out with my friends/housemates

24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?
- Used to be cheap black pens and paper, but I'm spoiled now. I <3's my tablet I like to paint, too, when I get the chance.

25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?
- *shrug* Guess I'd like to do a bit more claywork (I don't think I've ever uploaded photos of my little sculptures before)

26) Have you met your grandparents?
- Two of them I remember, two I can just barely picture. They're all gone now, however.

27) Boyfriend/girlfriend?
- Fiance...

28) Crush?
- Can it be a fictional character? If so, then I don't really have room for the list here.. >_>;;;

29) What celebrity would you date if you could?
- I don't think I'd enjoy a date with a celeb, tbh. I'd be too awkward. I likes my Ben.

30) Current worries?
- my wedding dress, my back, our halloween plans, my next paycheck, rent, money people owe us, wedding expenses, food for the reception, the bridesmaids dresses, feuding family members invited to wedding, all the problems with my innards, my arthritis, how badly we need medical insurance, designing/putting together/finishing the final formal invitations for the wedding, the wellbeing of our "family" here in this house, the basement that likes to flood now, our lawn, my aching teeth, Ben's health, gas prices, I owe people artwork and don't have much time/concentration to spare, our car's acting up, my hair continuing to fall out, my random dizzy spells, the fact that Ben takes on everyone else's problems and possible responsibility even when he shouldn't have to (he doesn't seem to mind, but it drives me insane!)... shall I go on?

31) Favorite online guy/girl:
- Always look forward to getting online and talking to ~Hexit

32) Favorite place to be?
- In bed.

33) Least favorite place to be?
- At work.

34) Do you burn or tan?
- Oof.. I buuuuuurn. Hence, why I stay OUT of the sun! >_< Sun = BAD

35) Ever break a bone?
- My left thumb *bends it all funny* Didn't even go to the doctor, so it healed funny.

36) What is your favorite cereal?
- Depends on what mood I'm in. Usually Either Frosted Mini Wheats,... ]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20559918/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20559918/ Thu, 18 Sep 2008 20:31:58 PDT

I HATE SLIPSTITCHING!!!!

GRAH!

*throws things*




That is all.

-TW





-----------------------------

Requests: closed
Trades: closed
Commissions: closed (sorry, guys! I'm in way over my head with wedding planning now!)

-----------------------------

Current art in-progress:






-----------------------------







http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20474907/ Sat, 13 Sep 2008 23:17:44 PDT

[EDIT]

I'm totally gonna need to NOT go onto this site for a while. It ate my entire day today, but oh, it was glorious!

One of the results: [link] , though I don't know how long it'll be there, so if you click it and it doesn't work, don't be surprised.

Gonna make a compilation of doodles eventually anyway.. Oh well.

-TW

[/EDIT]

----------------------------

God, *wolfshadow10, I freaking HATE you! XD

Got me addicted to this, and now I can't freaking LEAVE!

Well, for anyone who'd like to join me in scribblin' and chattin', I'll be on [link] for a while today doodlin'.. I'm currently sitting in "Rooms fOr Error" if ya wanna pop in and say hi

-TW







... ]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20439001/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20439001/ Thu, 11 Sep 2008 13:23:06 PDT

Man.. I didn't realize until I looked at my watch that it's September 11.

I had planned to do something special today in memory of those lost.

Has it really been seven years already?

It honestly seems like yesterday. I vividly remember where I was and what I was doing at the time.. sitting in our classrooms my first year at my new high school staring at the televisions in shocked awe rather than having lessons as scheduled..

Does anyone else remember?

-TW







]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20385212/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20385212/ Mon, 08 Sep 2008 02:22:52 PDT

2+2= ?







]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20378026/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20378026/ Sun, 07 Sep 2008 15:38:13 PDT

Went to a wedding gala at our hotel's conference center today.

Basically, a bunch of businesses put up a ton of their wedding related things and try and get you to buy stuff from them/get interested in their services.

Had a couple events.. games, a dress show, etc.

And for some stupid reason, I thought I would be okay going to this.

Wrong.

Got in and I immediately began panicking. Why? So many people!
And not like being out in public with lots of people.. GIRLY people. Women who are all hyped up on the fact they're going to have weddings soon, so they want to talk about dresses and flowers and hair and makeup and so on and so fourth.

And people trying to talk to me..

Now, take into consideration that I'm no good at being social in the first place.. and then add to that how much I despise anything overly girly.. and then consider how overwhelmed I am with the whole "wedding blues" thing right now (not nearly enough money, not gonna be able to have the wedding I want) and surround me with ALL THE PRETTY THINGS I COULD NEVER HAVE..

..and you have one SERIOUSLY disturbed Taj.

I couldn't even walk through the whole building at first without having to step outside and calm down.
And even after I thought I was 'calm' enough, I went back in and found that my eyes would start welling with tears every single time I looked at a pretty gown on display, or photos of someone else's beautifully set up wedding, or the big elaborate cakes, or pics of the all the gorgeous places available for weddings...

This had to be one of the most depressing days I've had in a long time.

I HATE looking at all the pretty things that I can't have, and listening to all the happy women talking about how beautiful their wedding's going to be, and having people excitedly ask me "are you the bride?" and follow up with all sorts of prying questions like "what are your colors?" "where's it going to be?" "what kind of flowers?"

I've been told we need $3,000 more dollars for the basics.

THE BASICS.

This does not include extra money for nice food or decorations or a beautiful gown for myself. Or rings.

I think we're each getting a $50 ring. $50!

We're spending thousands on OTHER people and I can't even spend a couple hundred on the ring I would like! And so we're settling for cheap ones.

Why did I think going to that stupid Gala would be a good idea?

Why did I think this WEDDING would be a good idea?!

Yeah, let's do something non-traditional! That would be fun!
..and expensive.
..and a hassle.
..and IMPOSSIBLE to get together
(because apparently a non-traditional wedding isn't fit to be held in a church or led by a real pastor, etc.. wtf)

Yeah, let's make our own favors! And decorations! And dresses! That'll save us money!
..and waste all our time.
..and turn out IMPOSSIBLE.
..and end up looking terrible.. and costing MORE!

I know I'm being selfish.

I guess I'd feel better if I knew we were on our own and couldn't afford it.

The problem is that I have parents who could pay for this all in a heartbeat and never sweat a single penny spent. But they're so stingy that they won't even offer.

They've given us SOME money "to offset our expenses"

And here Ben's family, who's filed bankruptcy once, struggles day-to-day, and CAN'T afford to spend a lot is putting in MORE money than mine!

(yes, waiter, I'll have the That-makes-no-f**king-sense combo with a side of Guilt, please)

wtf?!

The conference center we have to have it in is ugly, my dress is going to look horrid, we're not gonna be able to afford any decent decorations or good meals..

The way I see it, though, is that we're spending so much bloody money anyway, it makes me sick to think that it's gonna seem half-assed.

And this is only gonna happen once. EVER.

So yeah, I'm sad I can't have a pretty white dress with fancy lace and embroidery and walk down the aisle with a handsome man in a tux in a big beautiful church and get my photo taken in front of a beautifully lit archway and go to a beautiful reception in a beautiful hallway and cut into a big expensive cake and sit down at beautifully decorated table with candles all over and eat a big, fancy meal with all my happy friends and family, and dance the night away...

Because that's the way it should be, right?

Yes, yes, I know I'm just being selfish.
I should be happy that I'm finally getting married to the man of my dreams.

But if that were the only thing I had to worry about, instead of feeling so OBLIG... ]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20340926/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20340926/ Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:52:06 PDT

..for lack of anything substantial being uploaded.

I've plenty of works in progress, but this has been a trying week off and on.

I ended last week and started off this week so incredibly inspired that I could barely contain myself, and now, as always, with no allowed outlet, it's dwindled down to a frustrating ache in the pit of my stomach.

I'm so sick of work.
So much negativity there, and for someone who struggles to stay positive, it's not a great place to be.

With the exception of a few, I absolutely love my coworkers, and there's just been this huge rivalry between two of my FAVORITE people, and in the IMPOSSIBLE process of trying to keep myself NEUTRAL, I've indirectly heard tell that each of them thinks I'm some sort of a 'traitor' because I'm rooting for the other side!

Wtf?!

When all I do is continue to do my job and lend an ear for each when they come to vent their frustrations about the other individual, how in the WORLD can they just automatically assume I'm AGAINST them?!

It's not like I can just tell them both to stop talking to me.. that'd make things worse. And try as I may to remove myself from the situation when things start to blow up, because of the physical location in the building where I work, I can't exactly escape all the time. It always gets brought RIGHT THERE to me.. so unless I want to sneak outside for like, 5 hours a day, and not get ANY of my work done, I'm forced to stay and endure!

I work so f**king hard just to try and stay neutral, and it doesn't do shit!

I don't even add anything into the conversation when they're venting around me.. I just stay out of it! How the HELL did I get sucked in in the first place?! I love them both, and yet they're both out for my blood now, it seems!

And some of the things that have been said/implied have REALLY been eating at me, and all I can think about all day is how badly I want to just come home and unwind to the things that make me/keep me happy...

..only to find that either they cease to exist or are turning on me/turning into something more frustrating.

I'm thankful for the ability to seem happy outwardly most of the time, and to be able to find little things here and there that make me smile, but all in all, I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle because on the inside, I feel so betrayed.. so heartbroken.

And it all just adds up after a while.

So apologies go out to anyone I've acted funny/moodswingy around this week.

And thanks to everyone who was able to make me happy for any amount of time.


/vent

-TW







*tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20289404/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20289404/ Tue, 02 Sep 2008 12:31:03 PDT

Everyone needs to go wish Casper (~Impavidus) a happy birthday!
'Tis today! XD


And I was thinkin' about all the fun we have when he actually gets to come back and visit us, so I figured I'd upload one of my favorite pics in his honor.



I've got like, three million more, but I'll spare you all having to look at all my photos! lol

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CASPER!

I know we don't get to see you cuz you're not here (you big jerk), but we hope ya have a good one anyway!

-TW



-----------------------------

Requests: closed
Trades: closed
Commissions: open >> [link] <<
[all prices are negotiable]

-----------------------------

List of junk:

<<<<<< TO DO >>>>>>

--Art Related--

*Commissions: -
-PAID- [concepting character/piece]

*Mutants & Masterminds-related:
- Eclipse (for ~obi-wan8403 )
- Reevani -
- "In This Together Now" -

- character silhouettes for ~obi-wan8403's project
Buzz-
Cynder- http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20209040/ Thu, 28 Aug 2008 20:17:32 PDT

Peanut Butter.

Dimes.

Puppies.

Cotton Candy.

Black and green.

My duck.

The word 'waffle.'

Shiny objects.

My piano.

Pillows.

Sixlets.



..what about you guys?

-TW







]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20193041/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20193041/ Wed, 27 Aug 2008 21:59:19 PDT

My sanity is being plucked away..

You know, it kills me to just sit and watch it all crumble slowly.
You just feel like there should be SOMETHING you can do.

I hate my job because it's stolen my health, my sanity, and my fiance. Right when I need him.
I hate our financial situation because it just keeps getting worse by the day. Right when we need it to be okay.
I hate trying to help people anymore because all I ever do is mess things up, and they just end up hurting us more. Right when we can't afford to be hurting.

And all you can do is sit and watch; try to ignore it; hide in the things that make you happy for a short while, and break into tears when they end or cease to conceal the reality of it all.

I just want everything to be over.

I want it all to go away.

I just want out.



But nothing in life can ever be that easy, can it?







*tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20127905/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20127905/ Sun, 24 Aug 2008 10:15:39 PDT

Remember that Hunter: The Vigil trailer I linked to in my journal a while back? http: ---> //www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBETBGOPXrA <---

It was the project that Ben (~obi-wan8403), Greg (~ConnMan8D), Dom (~1stIICE), and I worked on.. and it was for a contest.

Well, the voting has begun at White Wolf's official site, and is located here: [link]

You have to have a LiveJournal account in order to vote, but I'm fairly certain quite a few of you do.

Now, I'm not gonna up and outright ask you to vote for us. In fact, I ENCOURAGE you to watch all four of the finalists' entries. They ALL represent a LOT of hard work on their makers' parts, and there were some REALLY GOOD ones.

Ours is the second one down.

(I, personally, didn't think ours was the best, but I'd still like for us to win! ..isn't that always how it goes? )

So please, go watch them! ..And vote!

Thanks guys!


Oh, and ps: We don't know if Dom (~1stIICE) is leaving or not.. he was supposed to go last week, we thought, but he's STILL waiting for a call back from the Army (who, might I add, HAS called a few times, but is asking for a Thomas? Yeah. We don't know any Thomas.)

---> [link] <--- LOL. Just.. LOL.

-TW







http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/20033363/ Tue, 19 Aug 2008 00:32:46 PDT

It's been an interesting weekend.

A friend, Jeremy, was up to visit..so Saturday, he, ~Donxiote, and :1stiice: decided to have the "Retard Orympics" at our house.

They got medals and everything. Gold, Silver, and Bronze for five different "sports." "Sports" which included wrestling upstairs in the attic, throwing an uber-sharpened batarang at a board out back, shooting cans off our deck out back with a paintball gun, a Halo competition, and a game of Risk...

..all while drinking..

*rollseyes* lol



I documented some of it on my camera, even got slightly involved in a couple things.

Including the paintball shooting.

And yes, some of you may have heard via talking with me over messenger the other day that they fed me grape soda and vodka, put a helmet on me, and turned me loose in the backyard.. to be shot at by a paintball gun.. lol.

I now have a rather colorful (yellow, red, blue, green ringed) bruise 3 inches wide on the calf of my right leg..

~1stIICE(Dom) went first, however. In fact, it was HIS idea. He actually got shot in the knee AND in the face..went right through the mask, split his lip and everything..

It was epic.
(and I got some fairly amusing video out of it, as well.)

As for gains and losses.. ~ConnMan8D(Greg) moved back in today, which is awesome.. but ~1stIICE is leaving on Wednesday to do the whole military thing.. So that sucks.

*sigh*

Aside from all that, I've nothing important to report.

Wedding plans are falling into place very slowly; And I do mean VERY slowly.

Sketched out what I'd like my dress to look like, we snagged ourselves a DJ, and think we might have figured out food stuffs for the reception. *shrug*

Anyway.. just through I'd pop in and mention that I'm still alive.

I've been working on several art projects off and on this week, so maybe I'll have something real to post soon.

Thanks, guys!

-TW

-----------------------------

Requests: closed
Trades: closed
Commissions: open >> [link] <<
[all prices are negotiable]

-----------------------------

List of junk:

<<<<<< TO DO >>>>>>

--Art Related--

*Commissions: -
-PAID- [concepting character/piece]

*Mutants & Masterminds-related:
- Eclipse (for ~obi-wan8403 )
- Reevani - http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/19920156/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:58:17 PDT

...that one can love a reptile so much.

Gozer (our bearded dragon) got a bath a bit earlier and is currently falling asleep on my shoulder. And as I'm sitting here trying to talk to friends over messenger I can't help but to stop and pet him or lean my cheek down against his spiky little head (which, adorably, results in him closing his eyes)..

Just wanna give him huggles and kisses and things normally reserved for creatures cute and furry.. not scaley and spiky..

*sigh*

He says hello to everyone, btw.

-TW



-----------------------------

Requests: closed
Trades: closed
Commissions: open >> [link] <<
[all prices are negotiable]

-----------------------------

List of junk: [REDONE]

<<<<<< TO DO >>>>>>

--Art Related--

*Commissions: -
[compiling info atm]

*Mutants & Masterminds RP character pic requests:
- Eclipse (for ~obi-wan8403 )
- Reevani -

- character silhouettes for ~obi-wan8403's project
Buzz-
Cynder-
Quietus-
River- http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/19887578/ Sun, 10 Aug 2008 22:21:04 PDT

Stolen from

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
..darkness. Her heart pounded like the wings of a...


2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you reach?
My pillow on my bed.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Animal Cops


4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
11:45pm


5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
12:03am

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The bugs/frogs outside and the fan in the next room.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Roasting food over our fire pit with Ben, Mancha, and Dom ( , , )

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Some random Daily Deviation. Something with a skull..

9. What are you wearing?
Black jeans, T-shirt, barefoot

10. Did you dream last night?
Yes. But I don't think it's appropriate to post in a journal on DA. >_>;

11. When did you last laugh?
Outside with the guys, maybe 20 min ago.

12. What are on the walls of the room you are in?
Handprints? Oh, and a couple dead bugs..

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Yer mom.. HAHAHAHA*cough* jk, jk.. ¬_¬ Next question?

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Think I could be outside roasting me another marshmallow...

15. What is the last film you saw?
I don't remember.. We saw Wall-E again.. then watched something else after we got home... OH! The Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie thing.. heh.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Health care, a visit to the dentist, this house, Ben's family's house, pay off my friends' college debts.. geh.. almost forgot my wedding.. x_@

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know about.
My natural hair color is blonde.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Dunno. That's an awfully big question.. Teach people tolerance, maybe?

19. Do you like to dance?
Only when no one's looking.. >_>

20. George Bush:
Has no upper lip..

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Ember. Ember Cherelle.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Merrick. Merrick Eugene.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Hells yeah..

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"Whoops.. misprint on the schedule. Come back in another 15 years."

25.Tag six people who must also do this in THEIR journal: I TAGS YOU ALLZ, BIATCHES!! BWAHAHA!


PS: I HAS A TICKER NOW! AND FLAAAAAAAGS!! XD







http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/19865765/ Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:49:31 PDT

..sortof.

I fell down the stairs today.

It was awesome.



*ahem*

Anyway, just thought I'd pop in to say I'm still alive and kickin'..

We met with the wedding photographer last week, signed our contract and put down a deposit for that.. He seems really cool and he does some good work.

He's costing us about $1500. x_X

But that's pretty good compared to others.. especially since we'll get an unlimited number of photos without any copyright crap. Which means we can print them ourselves and don't have to go through HIM to get the prints.

Also think we're gonna be having the ceremony at the same conference center as the reception, which has me worried. The spece we'd use for the ceremony only holds about 250 (and would be packed).. and we have around 300 invited.

Also sortof disappointed because this means I won't get to play the piano/sing, which is kindof one of the things I've wanted to do at my wedding for years.

But we couldn't have it at a church because they're all so stuck up. Well, either stuck-up, expensive, or booked.

And I also THINK we may have found someone to marry us.. an old youth pastor. Unfortunately, he has to run it by the man he's co-pastoring for.

Why is it so hard to get married these days? Churches don't want you to use their space unless you're a part of the congregation, and don't want you to do anything non-traditional or use a minister that ISN'T approved directly by THEM.

And it's THAT sort of tight-assed, stuck-up mentality that has led to me NOT going to church any more...

Ugh.

Why can't we all just get along?

Anyway.. there's a lot of good stuff goin' on, but quite a few frustrating ones as well.

*sigh*

Oh well.

Hopefully things will work out.

Love you guys <3

-TW

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Buzz- http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/19681740/ Wed, 30 Jul 2008 13:52:37 PDT

Oh, who am I kidding.. I'M even laughing at me!!!

(At EVERYONE, actually)

Well, at the very last minute possible, (lol) Ben managed to finish our Hunter: The Vigil trailer and upload it to youtube.

I'm not gonna lie.

If you just plain 'ol watch it, it's not fabulous.

BUT, if you consider the SHORT amount of time we had to deal with, the fact that we have no budget whatsoever, limited resources as far as weapons, makeup, locations, cameras, and manpower (there were four of us total.. and once again, let me stress the VERY SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME)... it's actually pretty damn good.

I'm sure we could have done a better job if we were able to get EVERYONE together more than once a week, but considering everyone had separate job schedules and many other things to worry about, we did well.

Now, as my friends and family on DA, I expect you all to be supportive. If you don't like it, feel free to leave CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, but I ask you PLEASE don't leave comments like "Jeez, this sucks!"

But PLEASE, do log into youtube and leave a comment there for Ben letting us know what you think.

And without further ado, here it is:

---> [link] <---


What do I have to say about it?

I know the guys are probably gonna kill me for it, but you know me.. I have to be extra-critical of things.. so here goes:

*I wish we had a spinny/wheely tripod for some steadier shots, but I think the handicam shakes did give it a bit of character.

*I wish the voiceovers could have sounded a bit better (especially mine. GAH, I HATE my voice!)

*I wish that we could have put in all the scenes we wanted to do, and I wish I could have done a better job on makeup.. OR that we could actually SEE the job I did on makeup (other than the gory hand.. I'm quite proud of that.) (my hand, btw)

*I wish Mancha would have gotten involved ( *kicks ~Donxiote in the knee* )

*I wish we could have had more of a chance to rehearse instead of just "Okay, this is what you do.. aaaand GO!".. you know, trying to wing it?

*I wish they would have found a prettier actress.. (lol)

*I wish some of the scenes turned out better (ie: the parts where we had blood spattering all over Ben and Greg.. but couldn't even SEE it, and that excruciatingly long window window-banging scene that ended up fading out a bit too soon -- you could barely see the monster grab the girl)

*I wish I could have covered ALL the guys in chocolate sauce in the driveway, not only Greg.. (:devConnMann8D

*I wish we could have stuck a bit more towards the theme "Game of light in dark" instead of just the typical "Hunter" thing. (But.. *shrug*)

*I wish it would have ended with ME KILLING YOU ALL AND TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!!

Who was who?:

(Ben, my fiance.. long-ish haired guy in the tie. Also the producer)
(Dom, housemate/friend.. nearly bald dude, pretty much the main guy you see in these scenes. Also, stunt director-ish man.. and did some of the camera work as well)
(Greg, very good friend.. axe-swinger, dead guy in the driveway. Also the camera man for most of this)
(Me, weirdo.. Ugly black haired chick, terrible actress, gory dead arm.. Also did makeup and bitched at everyone a lot about stuff. )

A special thanks to Ben's little sis Moriah, who came along with us to film some of the scenes and play watch-out while w... ]]> *tajniwolf http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/19622028/ http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/19622028/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 11:31:43 PDT

having a snake wrapped around your hand makes it hard to type.

btw: Tuyet says hi to everyone.

-TW

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Sunny- http://tajniwolf.deviantart.com/journal/19574447/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:21:28 PDT

Aside from Yellowstone, anyone know any good sights to see when going out west in the U.S?

Ben and I wanted to go to Yellowstone for our honeymoon, but seeing as the wedding got pushed back to 11.22.08, we'd be going at the end of November/beginning of December.. and the weather would probably make it hard (if not impossible) to travel.

So we just decided to go west and pick out some places to visit on the way.

Anyone have any suggestions?

-TW



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Requests: closed
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List of junk: [REDONE]

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--Art Related--

*Commissions: -
[compiling info atm]

*Mutants & Masterminds RP character pic requests:
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- character silhouettes for ~obi-wan8403's project
Buzz-
Cynder-
Quietus-
River-
Slipstream-