deviantART: by:taria

Taking a brake from packing cause it's raining...

~taria — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 09:55:02 PDT

Nicked this off of

(001) Your gender:
Female all the way, Wait let me look....(opened shirt) Yep Female

(002) Sexual orientation:
straight

(003) Single?
Plan to be for the rest of my life

(004) Do you want to be a train driver?
Train driver? hmph, don't think so

(005) Your birthday:
Dec 2nd I share it with britney spears...(shivers) I was born first!!!

(006) Age you wish you were:
the age I am right now, don't want to go back threw all those years again.

(007) Your height:
5'5"

(008) The color of your eyes:
Green/blue/gray

(009) The color of your hair:
Blonde (bottle job and proud of it)

(010) Piercings:
Ears

(011) Tattoos:
I wanted too, but I'm scared of needles.

(012) Smoke?
everyday but trying to quit

(013) Do drugs?
Hell no, can't tell your kids not to do drugs if you do them..right?

(014) Read the newspaper?
nah, not interested unless its the comics.

(015) Talk to strangers who IM you?
nope, if your not on my list and I don't know you, sorry.

(016) Take walks in the rain?
to cold, plus I might clump..(what a world what a world..does a bad impression of the wicked witch)

(017) Drive?
have to these days

(018) Like to drive fast?
my bronco won't go fast....

(019) Hurt yourself?
Not answering this one

HAVE YOU EVER

(020) Been out of the country?
yep, my father was in the air force for 21 years and my ex was in the army.

(021) Been in love?
Only once

(022) Done drugs?
when I was 16 and never touched it again.

(023) Gone skinny dipping?

(024) Had any type of surgery?
to many to list.

(025) Ran away from home?
once, but then my father came a got me and bought me a milk shake, never said a word to me about leaving and never yelled.

(026) Played strip poker?
Don't know how to play poker

(027) Gotten beaten up?
do ex-husbands count?? (Won't mention my mother)

(028) Been picked on?
again do ex-husbands count?

(029) Been on stage?
once in middle school singing to diana ross and feeling stupid cause the other four girls and I bumbled around like cows in a pasture it was an experence I never wanted to remember, thanks for digging up bad memories...

(030) Slept outdoors?
camping, when I was little

(032) Thought about suicide?
Everyday

(033) Pulled an all-nighter?
yep

(034) If yes, what is your record?
57 hours while I was driving a truck

(035) Talked on the phone all night?
once

(036) Slept with the opposite sex without having sex?
yep

(037) Slept all day?
having a night job will do that to you..so yes.

(038) Killed someone?
thinking about it doesn't count does it?

(039) Made out with a stranger?
not that I know of...

(040) Had sex with a stranger?
nope

(041) Kissed the same sex?
nope, oh wait......nope

(043) Been betrayed?
seriously?

(044) Broken the law?
I'm a goody two shoes...*shame*

(045) Met a famous person?
Linda Lee and she rude to me...it was when I won the Bruce Lee karate turnament (sp?)back when I was like 20 something

(046) Been on radio/TV?
*spits out drink* no way no how...

(047) Been in a mosh-pit?
nope

(048) Had a nervous breakdown?
Of course when I was married to my first ex-husband

(049) Been criticized about your sexual performance?
nope

(050) Had a dream that kept coming back?
have to sleep to dream and I hardly sleep (hence the black circles under my eyes)

APPAREL

(051) Shoe brand:
Skechers (cause I can find them on sale for like 20 bucks at the PX)

(052) What are you...

I'm dreading this

~taria — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 00:03:48 PDT

tomorrow will be a busy day packing up so much crap. I sure have more stuff than I can fit in my car now.

I'm dreadin it...*grumbles* But it has to be done.

Oh hey does anyone remember the artist called Divine? I think that's her name, she used to draw the Sephy manga?
I can't find her on here anymore? is anyone friends with her? is she doing okay?

BTW I've given up on trying to draw people, I just can't do it, my people look horried and I can't stand not getting it right. Even the chibis are lookng awful so I say screw it, I'll let my kids have all that talent and pay someone to do my drawing of people instead. Of course finding someone who's willing to spend the time to do it is another thing. They would have to be ready for me to ask for changes. My youngest said I should try and put my books into manga form but I don't know if that would work. It might work since I have the whole story and to see it set in mange form with a touch of chibi-ness would be cool.

Thanks for all the faves I have gotten over the last few days. I'm honored.

take care and be safe.

Gotta move again

~taria — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 23:26:34 PDT

Not sure if I said this or not, but I gotta move, I have no choice now. I just got a new elecric bill and I about fainted. it's over 400 now. MY god how am I ever going to pay that??

My friend at work who's the mother of my daughters boyfriend, (say that 5 times fast) is going to let me stay with her. I really hope it works out cause I really don't want to go back to my mothers. If you read my blog you would know why.

It rained today and my wrist killed me all day Let me tell you this thing is drving me insane. I hate Pain!!!

That's about it I think, I can't remember everything. I am old okay??

oh my daughter said she would get me a subscription, I hope she keeps her word on that these ad's are slowing the page down. I guess I didn't win the drawing contest I entered...

oh yeah anyone know where I could find tutorials on how to draw chibis? I found some but they don't go into detail like how to do bodys and actions so to speak. any help would be nice. thanks in advance.

take care and be safe

thanks for the support I needed it and I am grantful. sometimes someone just needs the extra hugs even if they are mental, it still counts in my book.

What I feel is best...

~taria — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 20:29:12 PDT

Instead of always burdening everyone here about my problems I decided to make a blog, yes a blog. but I'm not really calling it a blog, It's more of an on line journal where I can rant and cry and do what ever I choose to that way I don't have to worry about putting them here and wasting peoples time and effort to have to read it. But if you want you can always go there at your own risk. [link] Don't say I didn't warn you though. It's set to a warning cause theres cuss words all over it.

I will try to place positive things here..."try" being the key word.

I do have some good news. I'm not sure if anyone knows this or not but I've become a buddist and well I have always wanted my own Gohonzon (It's a form of scroll with writings on it that we use to focus our chatting. Tina Turner is also a Nichiren Buddhist)Anyway, I was giving the honor of finally given one. Most of the time you have to pay for it to show that your goal is to become a full busshist, but I never had the money to get one so My friends (chong and ocha) got me one cause they knew that I need the full force of the Gohonzon to help with my situation. I couldn't believe that they did that for me but they did and now I have one. of course I don't have a shrine to place it in and it's still in the box that it came in cause your not supposed to take it out of the box until you have a place to put it. They beleive it is an extention of your body and that if you let people play with it then they are playing with your soul so to speak. You can read about it right here if you like [link] It's not a bad thing to want to do, I have been doing this for a about a year now and sometimes it helps me and sometimes it doesn't (hence the melt downs due to me not chanting like I'm supposed to) But they say if you chant and wish for something it will come true and it did a few times. I chanted for my income tax to come and it did a week later, I chanted that I would find a job and I did two days later. Now I'm chatting to win the powerball...lol I hope it comes true. I do keep coming close I did win 4 bucks and I never won before. But I want the powerball even if it's only a million..lol I'm not greedy..not really...shut up!!!

But as soon as I get the chance to get a shine for my Gohonzon i will take a photo and show it off..
OMG, I was over a friends (mrs Shaw, she's japanese) house who has a shine for hers and she told me that she had paid a total of 50 grand for all of hers and it's HUGE!!!! I don't need one that big. I mean her gong/bell bowl (what ever they are called) alone was the size of a beach ball and that's huge. I really don't need one that big...plus I don't have any place to put it right now. So if I win the lottery I can get a house and one room devoted for my Gohonzon. that would be cool. I have noticed that many of the members have theres in the living room even as big as they are. My friend Yoshi has hers in her spare room and it's small. I like the size of hers.

anyway that to me is good news. finially getting my Gohonzon and being able to have more of a chance for my dreams to come come. I will wish to meet an asain man that looks like yazoo that will fall in love with me at first glance and want to wisk me away to japan to live there for ever...hey it's my dream okay...so hush!!

well you all take care and be safe...

I won't tell you what my mother did to me a few days ago...that one is on my blog.

I just noticed that my journal entrys are very sporadic..I really should come here more often but real life jumps in the way...

Another Meltdown

~taria — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 20:18:53 PDT

yes I had another meltdown where I cried all day and couldn't stop. This stress is really getting to me, I finding I'm having these neltdowns more and more because of the stress.

If it's not my mother laying the biggest guilt trip on me, it's me not having enough money for rent or my bills. or it's my truck falling apart slowy before my eyes, or it's my youngest snapping at me at every turn. I can't blame it on my love life since I don't have a love life to mention, I thought I did but he doesn't talk to me as much as I thought he would so I've gotten to the point where I am just going to not worry about him, if he calls he calls. Not sweating it.

So hence the meltdowns.

anyway, I'm trying not to be so depressed but it's not working. if you don't know how it works then it's hard to explain why it's so hard to not be depressed so much. I had one person tell me I have to just let it go, but it's not that easy. so why do people tell you that? It's not like I can turn it off and on, know what I mean?

But I'm trying with little results.

oh well I just thought I would share...

Take care and be safe everyone.

and thanks to all the new watchers and faves that I have gotten over the last few days. I sware I will go and tell each of you thank you as soon as I can and I get rid of this headache from hell..

Why Me?

~taria — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 18:55:52 PDT

why am I always the target when it comes to Yazoo fans? Why do they come to me and start thinking that I'm an enemy cause I am obsessed with Yazoo? I have more images and drawings of Yazoo that I know of so I find myself the brunt of others attacks because of this.

Why is it always me? I'm not the only person at deviant art that has this obsession with some that they love so much that they draw them over and over and over and over again. But I find I'm the one they feel they need to get their frustration out on, the one they feel that I am the enemy of their love for Yazoo.

I'm here to set the record straight, One more time, Yazoo is a 3D character in a fantasy movie, he doesn't exist, he's isn't a real person, yes I find the 3d character of Yazoo very very very sexy and everyone knows why I find him sexy, it's his eyes. He has some dreamy bedroom eyes that could make a person melt. But he's not real and I do know that. But if he was I'd be all over that in a heart beat. so I will stick with a real life bishi Lee Jun Ki now he's a very sexy real life person that is worth drooling over as well.

But Yazoo being 'fake' is a character that everyone can dream of, I don't hold the rights to him to claim him as mine alone, if I did make him and I held the rights to him I would and could say HE WAS MINE AND MINE ALONE. But he's not he's everyoneÂs to share and I say go for it, you take him and do what you want with him. I will hold him as a character that my 3D character to play with when she feels like it.

So please for the last time donÂt talk about me behind my back as if IÂm your enemy, DonÂt act like you own Yazoo cause you donÂt and for the love of god stop coming at me with these words that you feel you need to say to me because of my obsession for a 3D character. Yazoo belongs to Square Soft and they hold the rights to him. Go attack them for making him so sexy that there are so many people fighting over him.

Oh and one more thing I find funny, there have been a lot of females that have come after me over the past 3 years when the movie first came out saying that they love Yazoo and they will always love Yazoo. But I have yet to see them keep to that, they have moved on to someone else that has caught their eye and the bashing and flaming that they did to me was pointless. As far as I know I am the only one so far that has said that they loved Yazoo and stuck with it for well over 3 years. I still have many pieces of art that I havenÂt posted up here due to the bashing I tend to get when I post a new one of him. So I keep most of them to myself to admire. Sometimes I get sick of the attacks for liking a 3D character or the females who scream at me in notes saying you have no right to love him, heÂs mine all mine. So I donÂt post images of Yazoo as much anymore. Not worth the negative input of females who like to attack for doing what I do best and thatÂs creating art work that makes me feel good about myself making art that makes me happy when others can enjoy my hard work of creating it. Not the attacks of those who swear that I stole it from someone elseÂ not worth it. ThatÂs why you donÂt see much Yazoo anymore.

Anyway IÂm outta here. I gotta work in the am, so IÂm off to eat and then head to bed. Take care and be safe.

I'm a bit late with this but...

~taria — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 20:24:29 PDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOO BOO!

My son is now 23, man my kids are growing up so fast. 25 year old daughter 23 year old son and my pookie who's 18...where does the time go?

My mother ending up in the hospital yesterday due to having chest pains, she had already had a triple by-pass 4 years ago so when she says her chest hurts it's a rush off to the hospital cause she has lived past the 2 years that she was givin after the by-pass. they said she was having a heart attack and gave her so many drugs that it stopped so thank god for that one. I don't want to loose my mother too, granted she's a pain in my ass but she's still my mother and I do love her even if she gets under the skin. No one wants to loose a parent no matter what they say.

But she's okay and I had to run up to Quincy today to get her from the hospital and bring her home so my day has been rushed and I didn't forget to give my birthday wishes for my son, I have just been running around finishing things for others that this is the only time I have had to write in here.

So, happy birthday boo boo I hope you got what you wanted for your day. I love you!!

take care and be safe everyone!!

Hello again

~taria — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 19:02:40 PDT

Just thought I'd drop a line and let you know that I will be headed up to my mothers again this time for only a week and a half.

So lets hope we don't have a repeat of the last proformince (sp?) *shakes head* Trying to sound smart here..LOL

We will see...

anyway if I don't answer or I don't reply quickly don't freat, I do have the internet up there, It will just be a wonder if I get to be on it like I am now.

Hopefully I will also be able to do more art while I'm there..

So..take care everyone and be safe.

Ja

Okay...

~taria — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:45:46 PDT

I've decided that I wasn't going to let this person get under my skin, even though he's there I won't let it bother me.

SO onto better news...well maybe not for me..

I got my hair cut. 5 inches came off..I want to cry cause now I can't be Yazoo for halloween! I had his hair for like the last few years and was going to get the leather for his coat that I found that would be perfect! and had to get my hair cut due to my mommy ruining the ends when I went to perm it straight again. (I have to do that every now and then cause I have a bit of wave to the underside of my hair and makes it look poofy.) so the ends got damaged really bad and I had to have it cut. I wanted to cry. It'a not reallllllly short it's pasted the shoulders but it will take a while for it to grow once again back past the middle of my back like I had it...5 inches is a lot for me. Stupid damaged ends!!! I could've kept it long if it hadn't happened.

Oh well I can still get the fake leather and make the coat as long as I can find the zipper which btw does anyone know where i can find a zipper that long?

Once I start making it, I will take tons of photos of it and show everyone cause if you know how I am in real life, It has to look just like the one he wears or I won't do it and I will get it to look like his...just wait. People will think I'm insane..But I will have the only coat that looks like the ones they wear.

and you thought I forgot all about Yazoo huh??? shame on you....

He's still sexy to me...

take care and be safe

ja na

stress once again...a little rant beware!

~taria — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 15:33:34 PDT

EDIT: OH MY GOD!!! now he's bitching about the smoke and I was outside, OUTSIDE in the open air and not anywhere near the door and he says he could smell it. Give me a f****** break!!! I'm outside and he's bitching about smelling smoke, how stupid is that???
Now I can't even stand outside and smoke, it's bad enough I pay freaking rent and I can't smoke in the house but now I can't even smoke outside??? fuck this shit, that's it I am outta here the first chance I get. I'm tiered of his stupidity. He goes and get a large pizza and bread sticks and some other thing from dominos and does he offer any to me or my pookie??? NO, he sits and eats it all by himself. and I'm supposed to offer some to him or let him have whats left over?? Not anymore. He's a freaking pig. I hate people like this, ones that are so selffish and then expect you to do for them. Now I know why his wife left him, he's a pig. a selffish pig that only thinks of himself and doesn't care who he hurts.

okay I'm done...idiot I sware...

You all know that I moved in with the cowboy that I thought was going to be cool, but turns out he's an ass hole (excuse my french here) no wonder he's not married.

My mother has been sick and of course I thought she was faking it cause she does fake things just to get me to come up there and feel sorry for her, but this time there is something wrong with her so I left to go up to make sure she was going to be alright, she had to go in for an MRI and we won't know anything until she gets the results back on them. But I told the Cowboy that I was going and he was okay with it. The day I left I get a call about 2 hours of driving and he is bitching me out for leaving...I was thinking "oh my god he's acting like we're married." tells me I didn't leave him a note saying I was going and that I didn't give him my share of the rent. Well in all honesty I didn't make enough to give him all of it but I figured that he would pay the extra 200 that he OWES me cause I loaned him the money to pay his community service thingy with part of my rent money. But he of course didn't see it that way and tells me, that my mothers not important enough and that I should have stayed here another week cause she wasn't dieing or anything, and then tells me it's not going to work and that he was only giving it another week (he's still here) and all this after he had been drinking of course (fucking drunk ass bastard). Let me tell you, I was pissed off. I started crying while I was driving and had to pull over to get my thoughts back in order and swore he wasn't getting shit from me. I know why he was giving it another week, cause he thought my income tax check was coming and well guess what? It's not. He thinks he's going to get 500 from me Like I owe him money I don't think so. But I finially told him that He wasn't getting shit and that he needed to find another source for his cash flow. I also told him that he owed me 200 and he should've covered the rest of what I owed for the rent without bitching me out for 115.00 bucks. Yesterday he asks me about the income tax and I said it won't be here for another 2 or 3 weeks and he says. "I don't care to much about paying my friend back the 500 as long as we get caught up on the bills." What does that sound like to you? Like I'm going to be paying the bills right? his tone was in this mannor like I was going to be getting us caught up on bills, I paid 100 toward the ele and there is 76 left. he didn't pay the rest. I gave him a total of 275 for my share of the rent which btw is only 262, he used the rest to go get drunk, I gave it to him thursday. Yeah.....okay.

I also told him that as soon as it shows up we will be looking for a new place to live, (he thinks I was kidding) he had the nerve to tell pookie that he could get anyone to move into my room in a heart beat, well do it then. ask me if I f****** care. He's got it made with me being here cause all he has to do is make up some sad sap story and I will fall for it and hand him money. Why do I do that? cause I help friends ask anyone, If I have it and I can spare it I will give my last 10 bucks to a friend with the honor that I will be paided back. And with him not willing to do that there is no way in hell that I will give him the 500 he asked for when he filled bankrupcy (sp?) screw him, he has to pay his friend back with someone elses money, not mine. I even think he promised the land lord that I would pay the rest of the deposit to him, I don't think so since I paid 500 to get us in here, I think it's his turn he makes more then me and gets paid every week. He gets 25.00 an hour I get 7.50 so whos the one that can afford things? HE CAN! It's not my fault he puts himself in debt by borrowing money from his friends and not paying them back. The money train stops here and his ass is being kicked off. I just know if the land lord asks me for more money I will tell him get...

they grow so quickly

~taria — Fri, 22 May 2009 20:06:36 PDT

my baby graduated today! I feel so alone now.

And this is to all those who said I was an unfit mother... SCREW YOU!!! she graduated!!!!! so to me I did good, if I was unfit then she wouldn't have done that and been preggy y now right?

sorry I haven't been here in a long time, I've been working and trying to make ends meet. My truck is dieing and pumping carbindioxside (sp?) into the cab and giving me a massive headache every time I drive it and of course I don't have the funds to buy a new (used) one or to get it fixed so I have to suffer for now.

I still haven't gotten my income tax check from two years ago....yes still waiting for that.

Hopefully when I have more time I will be able to do more art and post more. It's just going to be a while before I figuare out the best times for me to sit and do the work most of the time I'm getting off work at 11pm so as soon as I get home I pretty much hit the sack then wake up around 10 or so and have to take a shower and get ready to go back to work.

anyway, that's all for now since not much else has happened oh except this older guy has been hitting on me. it wouldn't be so bad but he looks like a biker and right now I'm not into bikers. Plus I'm not ready for any thing 'love' connected.

well that's about it, talk to you all later.

take care and be safe.

it looks like the subscription is gone again...

~taria — Mon, 04 May 2009 01:07:42 PDT

It seams like it goes away so quickly that the last time some one gave me one which BTW I totally forgot to say thank you for that. Been so damn busy that I haven't been able to say anything about it. But thank you for that last gift of the subscription. thank you very much.

I've been making jewerly lately, most of which I just keep for myself or give away to friends. Been working a lot even though it's only part time, but when I have a day off I find that I'm doing other things like cleaning or worring about the room mate that seems to be always out of money and is asking to borrow mine all the time. I mean I had my share of the rent and he gave me a sad story and I ended up giving it to him and now I need to come up with my share again, which sort of sucks cause I got into this thinking I wouldn't have to worry about money anymore that all I would have to do it come up with 300 for the whole month and that was it, but it seems Im having to come up with more then my share. I mean he makes more than I do and gets paid every week. so why am I having to lend him money? who knows why, I just know I hate to see someone down and out and if I have it I will give it. I just know that I can't afford to move again. Not to mention I really can't keep lending cash or I will be broke again and in the same boat I was before and I really don't want to be in that same postion.

I am however finaily getting my income tax check from a year ago, took them long enough but I know that once I get it I will have to come up with this months rent due to him not having it, He already said he doesn't cause he owes back taxes which he didn't bother to tell me about until a week ago, and they finially caught up to him and now most of his check is being taking for that and he is only getting maybe 120 a week which means I will have to pay for everything. Damn I'm not even married to this guy and I feel like I have to support his ass.

I can't afford to pay for this place on my own, I don't make enough for that. Part time at wally world doesn't pay for anything to be honest. But I'm not going to quit, I just might have to get another part timer to make ends meet. My pookie is trying to get a job as well, but hasn't heard from them yet, she starting to wonder if they really want her to work there. I hope they do cause it will be something she can do after she gets out of school plus she has money of her own to do what ever she wants. Not that I don't mind giving her moeny cause I don't. But it will help her in the long run to learn to have and keep a job. at least that's what I hope.

anyway enough of my sad story, when I get the chance I will get another subscription for here, but it will be a while before that happens.

But thank you to all those who faved something and or added me to thier watches. I am gratfull for everything and anything that others do for me.

I will try and add more art as soon as possable, I have some that I have made, I just haven't gotten around to uploading it.

take care everyone and be safe!!

Hello

~taria — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:44:28 PDT

Well I have some good news and some bad news. I'll do the good news first since I'm excited about it.

One I found a new place to live! Finially I can get away from these crazy ass people over here that can't seem to keep thier noses out of other peoples business..I sware they are all crazy. I will be moving in with a guy friend, who is single and cowboy, not my taste, but he's is a cutie so any single ladies that like cowboys let me know and I will set you up!!

and two I have an interview at wally world on Monday!!!! cross your fingers and pray to which ever god you pray too that I get this job, I need it....badly.

Now the bad news.

since I will be moving I don't know how long it will take before I get the internet again. so I don't know when I will be back here. I have been looking for work and doing what I can where I can that last few weeks just to have that little bit of pocket change.

SO hopefully I get the job at Wally World and I will start going up hill from here. I'm sure there will be the bumps in the road but I expect those anyway while having a room mate. But hopefully we can as adults work them out without threating to move or screaming at each other. Cause to be honest I don't want to feel like I'm walking on egg shells know what I mean? I only had one place that I lived with a friend that I didn't feel like that due to them not making a big deal out of the things I did. I was so glad to have them for the 8 months that we stayed with them and miss them dearly. (you know who you are)
That's it for now...

take care everyone and be safe!

BTW thank you to all those wonderful people who faved an image of mine, I couldn't beleive I had so many faves over 60.. wow. and way over 1,500 new images from people on my watch list.. so many to go threw and look at and comment too...give me time okay?

time to pack things up a bit I move this sat...I hate moving..LOL

Oh one more thing, no one told me how to add the CSS back into here, the one that I had used for over 2 years. I want it back...*sniffles* I miss my yazoo!!!

No Internet

~taria — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 14:12:09 PST

Hello everyone, I'm sorry for all the late replys, but I didn't have the inertent for over 3 weeks and I was going insain...lol When we got it back yesterday the kid was on it all day so I couldn't get to it, but you know how that is.

Oh man let me share what has been going on..you won't beleive this sh**, You all know I was working for this place doing housekeeping and painting when asked, well The boss lady asked me to paint another mural for her, so I did thinking I was going to be paid for my time. So like I normal do, I put everything into it making it look good. When I got done which took me 57 hours of work, I went to tell her that I was done and said it took 57 hours to complete, she said and I quote here

"you were on the clock."

which ment I wasn't getting paid my 10 bucks and hour for this work. I was on the clock for that last one as well and she paid me for that one. But she refused to pay me for the new one. so when I was asked by the other owrkers who would watch me paint if I had gotten paid, I said "no" they had all agreed that I was cheated for my talent and I also feel that I had been cheated out of 570.00. She still refusses to paid for it.

she even had the nerve to tell me if I didn't like it I could leave I didn't at that time but when she took 30 minutes off my time everday and then started to get onto to me about every little thing. that's when I said I had had enough and I quit. So what else could she do to me you ask? well, she wrote a letter saying that my daughter was concidered tresspassing and that she would be kicked out. I went off at this point, she can do what she wants to me but when it comes to my pookie, that's when I draw the line. I told her that she had been here for over a year and that she isn't going to leave. they said that that's not what they said, and I pulled the letter out and read it back to them. Of course they said that's not what they ment so I got sarcastic toward them and told them then maybe they need to go back to school and learn how to write cause that's what it says. I even said I'm a writer and I know how to prase a letter so people don't read into it and if that's what they ment then they should have written it much better. so after all this and me putting up a fuss, they said just put her on the tenits agreement. so I did.

I can take a lot but when they attack my child that's when I will put my foot up someone's ass..

But anyway, I am now without a job and have to find one, I have been making jewelry for fun and might sell it. I will take photos of it and show it off if you like. I will be offering to make these to order as well. so basically if you want a certain color and I have it I will make it that way. Not saying that I will sell it on here...but if you want one I can do it since I love making it anyway and it doesn't take that long. It's just me sending it out to you that might take a while..

OH one more thing, I lost my external, it shorted out when they guy went to test it and everything as far as I know is gone. all my 3d work, all my art, everything. Someone said I could send it off and they might be able to recover it off the drive but I don't know how much that costs or where to send it too. I wish I had it now cause there were programs on there that I used for my work and they are all gone. I really wish I had it back. It's another thing to be drespped about cause there was a lot of unfinished work on there not to mention all my poser stuff, outfits that I was supposed to upload to be sold to DAZ, all the textures that I had made and was supposed to sell to DAZ. I even had an item that they wanted badly on there and was going to pay me big bucks for. If anyone knows how to get that stuff off I would love to know. I can't even download poser pros cause I don't have the program anymore, man this sucks.

That's about it for myself.

I do hope everyone else is doing okay. And thank you to the 27 people who faved my stuff over the last 3 weeks. I am honored that you liked my work. there will be more. When I can get to make it again. there are things I will have to redo over.

take care and be safe.

What happened to my layout???? Where's my Yazoo??? How do I get it back?

Hi all

~taria — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:11:47 PST

Sorry I haven't been here in such a long time and from what I can see I lost my subscription as well well it will be a very long time before I can get it back due to no fund at the moment.

But I do have some good news...Guess who called me?

Stephen!!! and he told me he was sorry for everything he did. I was like...."did you find god or something?" cause it threw me for a loop let me tell you. But he said all his 'hatefullness' was due to him taking a depression pill that made him an angery person, which I could sort of agree with since before I got the ones I'm taking now, I had ones that did the same thing to me. But he did say he was going to bring me my stuff. of course I was like I won't hold my breath cause he's been promising to do this for the passed 3 years. (I think it's been 3) but he said no I made a promise and I will keep it, so as soon as thier income tax comes in they will be going back to IN and picking up thier stuff and mine and swing down here to give me mine on thier was back to UT...I'll beleive it when I see it. I won't hold my breath..he also wished us belated happy birthdays. Chelsea teared up over that one.

But it was kinda cool that he finialy told me he was sorry for what he did, the cheating, the treating me like shit, the ignoreing Chelsea, the fights over stupid shit. even if he didn't mean it, I still got one and that's all that counts to me. It was shocking to hear him say he was sorry for what he did. But I'm finially glad he came to his sences. took him long enough and now I can almost close this chapter in my life and be rid of his presents for good. get my stuff and all will be good. My karma just might be cleaning its self up.

I'm telling you this chanting is working, I kept doing it with the wish that he would bring me my stuff and he calls telling me he would. so that to me is cool. now if the wish I make to win the lottery would come true. HE HE HE. or even find an asian man tat would love me...yea, someone who wants to go back to japan and take me with him!!!!!! oh sorry, got carried away...

Oh btw I finially paid off my back rent...finially, you remember the mural I was painting over in the med center? Well it's finished and I got 450.00 for it. talk about sweetness!!! that is a huge weight off my shoulders, at least that's one thing I don't have to worry about anymore.

But get this. I'm not sure if I share this with anyone, but when I did my taxes last year, I had to go in and do what they called an ammendenment to add chelsea on my taxes and well I never got the 2,550 that I was told I would get. even to this day I never got it. but here's the bad part they sent me a letter this past tuesday saying that I owe them 633.00 for over payment??? I was liek oh hell no, I never got paid to be getting this, so I called them and in a calm and nice voice I told them where they could stick that 633.00, the lady who was very nice said lets finigure out why your being charge this and come to find out, Hand R blcok screwed me over, they never filed the ammendment from thier end and as far as the IRS is concerned they HnR didn't calim one of my W2's so I was being penilized for that one and was told I owed them 633.00 SO I will be going back to HnR block and telling them in a very calm and nice way that they screwed me over and they better fix it or I will be their worse ever customer, I paid over 160 bucks for them to do this and they screw me over??? I don't think so. it will be fixed soon.

I just work so much that when I get home I pretty much go to bed..I might or might not eat. But I'm so tiered that I hardly have time to do much of anything. if I'm lucky I might get a few crafty things done. Like yesterday, I did a teddy bear amigurumi cupcake. I was for my new japanese friend named yoshi for chinese new year. she's my sweetie. SO I wasn't even on line, chelsea was for a bit but I wasn't...

But anyway, that's enough for now, I hope everyone is doing okay?

again I am sorry for not being here and replying to anyone or even doing any computer art for a long time but now that the rent is paid, I might have more time to do other things without having to stress over if I will make enough this check to go get tolite paper.

take care everyone and please don't hate me for not replying back. if I could make money sitting at home I would. but now a days it takes 2 to make it these days. and right now I'm only 1 trying to make it.

Miss YOU ALL!!!

Finally some good news

~taria — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 22:50:35 PST

I don't care that I spelt that wrong, I'm happy!!! Excuse my misspellings..

after waiting since March of this year, I finally got my STIMULUS CHECK!! 300 bucks! can you believe it??? that means hopefully my large IRS tax return will be here soon. I can finally pay everyone back. It's been weighing so heavy on my shoulders not being able to pay anyone back. I'm just glad they are finally giving me my money, the bastards too them long enough.

I have also found something new that I have been trying out for a little while now, I don't think I have ever told anyone that I really didn't have a religious background, I believe there is a god, but I didn't trust churches because my own christan church turned thier backs on me when I divorced one of thier own, so I decided that if this is how a church acts toward you then that means they all will. But I meet this sweet little japanese lady named Yoshi that took me to one of her Buddhist meetings and I found that after I started chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo that certain things in my life started changing for the better, I have always believed that we have a karma and that my karma was horried, it was so dark and distroyed by everything that has gone wrong in my life. I have bad karma. But like I said, after I started chanting, things have started to go from bad to good. I chant when I want something good to happen, I chant when I feel down in the dumps, I chant when I think I'm in trouble when I get called to the office, It helps me stay calm and fills me with confedence that I never had before. Maybe this is the religion for me, I have never found the one I wanted to try until now. But it has worked for me and I can feel my karma become more and more clean. As Yoshi says, you can't see your own dirt, other people can see and they tell you that your being hateful or mean or negative or sad or what ever and It's up to you to look in the mirror and see for yourself what kind of person you want to be. chanting is a way to bring the good out and wash that dirt away it fills you with peace and hope that you need to get threw a bad day. It helps us to see inside and to change what we don't like about ourselves and strengthenings what we do like. Maybe I was ment to be a buddhist, I keep telling everyone that I was an asian in my former life (yoshi laughs and agrees), I look at magazines backwards without even thinking, I love everything asian, I love the smells of asian food, I love eating asian food, I love dragons, I want to live in japan its as if I long to go back to somewhere I belong, you know what I mean? LOL I'm not crazy okay? I just found something that works for me and if I can get my karma better I will try it. I won't be getting a Gohozon until I'm truely ready for one. Plus I don't have any place to put it where it won't be disturbed. So I'm waiting. If you think about it, Tina Turner got stronger after she started chanting, look how she kicked her old mans ass in the limo. LOL Believe it or not but Pattric Duffy is a buddhist too. Even my old Drill Serg is a buddisht, I was shocked to see him there. He was the one that was the meanist while I was in and there he was smiling and chanting and was really nice to me when he saw me. I know they pick who they are going to be before they get the newbies, like whos going to play the bad guy whos going to play the good guy and so on. But it's still shocking to see him be nice.

Oh and guess what??? Theres a hottie living next door to me. I talked him into moving in and he's a DS, one that I knew when I was in, I don't think he knows who I am, Thank god. But he is a hottie and no he isn't asian thats the down side. But he's a hottie none the less and yes I have flirted with him, untill I found out how old he was, then I sort of stepped back. 23 is so young, just my luck right? He he he, I'll still flirt a little bit cause he is a hottie!!!! Okay enough of that, it's getting warm in here.

anyway, I'm sending out christmas cards this year to all my friends, so please, please, please, send me a note with your address so I can get your cards out to you. I have some addresses already but I misplaced the paper I wrote them on. I'm sorry. So send again! please?

Well, I've talked enough. take care everyone and be safe out there. I love you all!

Ja ne!

..::STAMPS::..

I also finished the collage class with probally and huge fat "F" but oh well, I was only helping someone else out with it and I hated the class anyway might be why I struggled to do it. Lets just say that my asian hunny isn't too pleased about the "F" if that is what he got on this class. Oh did I tell you guys he asked me to stay the night last weekend after I helped him write a few pages for his other class? I was shocked when that question came out of his mouth, let me tell you I was sooooooo tempted to say sure, but I didn't, I said no I had to work the next day. I could kick myself right now, but oh well. I was taken off guard when the question came out anyway. *sighs* I did tell you that he told me he was disappionted with me right? yeah that was something that really hurt me deep, simply because I hate letting people down. Lets just say I cried for a while after he said that to me and to top it off he tells me he has lost his trust in me. Well I look at it this way, if he asks me to do another class for him I will be saying no thanks, not going down that road again, plus I will be sure to mention that I might let him down again and that he doesn't trust me enough for me to waste my time doing something for him and risk getting yelled at again, just to make him feel like shit...LOL I guess that's the price I pay for likeing someone that doesnt like me back. I'm a foolish soul...what can I say?

Anyway, Now that it's all over I might (might being a very strong word here) be able to do more art work, after I finish my mural in the med center (which won't take to much longer, it might be done by tomorrow if I work all day on it. I did forget to take pictures of it before and after types. but I guess you will be able to tell once it's finished what it looked like before, white walls aren't hard to imagine right? I did paint a strawberry cake and a cookie monster cookie jar, a dish of candy, a plate of cookies a pitcure of lemonaid (which everyone loves and I think sucks big time) I can't paint glass, so I guessed on most of it, hey, I have never painted this type of stuff before in my life, I draw dragons, not food. But I have to admit it is looking pretty good. I have an idea. I will go take a few shots of it tonight and post them up here in a few so you can see it...how about that?

COOLNESS!!! be back in a bit..

take care and be safe.
Ja!

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..
...

WOW

~taria — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 15:20:24 PST

I am soooooooooooo sorry that I haven't been here for a long time, I miss everyone. I have been working so much that when I get home I fall to sleep, It's crazy...

But I do have some good news. I finially got the other job only after having it out with my old boss, man she really went nuts when she found out and believe it or not she already knew, I think she just wanted something to bitch about.

My hand does feel better even though it does still hurt, but not as much as it did when I was in the kitchen. Of course it's not my dream job, who wants to be a housekeeper right? But it helps pay the past rent and that's good enough for me.

Oh guess what else? my new boss is having me paint a huge art piece on the wall for the resedents here at the home. I think it's great cause I get paid to do it. Yea ME!!! Finially my art is being reconized. I will take a few shot of it to show you what it looks like as I go along, nothing major just a bookshelf with things on it and a few plants and such. So cross you fingers that it turns out great. I start doing it tomorrow. I am scared cause I haven't ever done something like this before.

I'm sorry about everyones troubles lately, I know how you all feel when it comes to having problems. I hope you all feel better and have better luck.

Thanks for the faves and the adds.. I am grateful!!

anyway hopefully it won't be so long to update this in the future...I'm off to eat chinese food with a very good Japanese friend...

take care and be safe!

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

All is good...

~taria — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 15:01:12 PDT

Even though I got maybe about 3/4 of it back I did get my folder back, there were a few things that didn't come back like some images I had been working on and a few photos that I lost. I did get some back.

some of the psd that I had been working on came back but when I try to open them in photoshop were I created them, it tells me that it's not the right format and some of the jpg images won't show in the photo viewer saying they aren't the correct format which I don't under stand that one. Like the last three images here that I posted up those won't show in anymore and they are JPG's so if theres a way to fix that besides over writing them let me know, cause I did loose a lot of photos of my pookie that I had.

I'm just glad I got the folder back even if some things are gone, they look like they had been eaten, like they had little pixel lines going threw them. I called it the pac man effect. My guess is I didn't find a program fast enough and the computer had already started eaten them for the space.

thank you to those who tried to help and to those who were like me, without a clue as to what to do. thanks a bunch.

I'll have to redo the line art ones I had started on, thank goodness I didn't get to far with them and I can redo them. One I had just started on and was only done with his face, I can redo that one in no time, but damn I had it looking good..hope fully I can repeat it...

Thanks again!!!

take care and be safe...HUGS TO YOU ALL

and thanks for the faves that I got oh and the watch!!

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

Anyone please help

~taria — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 17:33:21 PDT

Like an morron, I accentdently deleted out my art folder that had everything I needed inside of it and now I can't get it back. (plus a couple more) Does anyone know how to get it back? and no it's not in the recycling bin, I deleted it out of there by mistake, I hit the wrong button and it's gone. I was trying to get rid of a copy of the same folder that I had and didn't think it would get rid of both copies so here I am crying my eyes out searching everywhere for a program that's free that will restore this back into my computer, does anyone have any ideas where I can find one for free?

I found WinUndelete 3.20 which lets me see the folder but when I click 'restore' it says I have to buy it for 50 bucks and I don't have 50 bucks. You don't know how fustrating it is to see the folder you want and need sitting there and then having a big prompt pop up saying you have to buy this program or have a product key to get that folder back..and this is supposed to be a trail version you would like it would allow you to use to see if it will restore what you need once before you have to buy it. That way you know it works.. but no it will scan all the deleted files but it won't allow you to put them back unless you give them 50 bucks. If I had 50 bucks I would do it, but I don't. I have aready tried 6 different programs and none of them work, they all ask for money or they didn't find the folder. WinUndelete was the only one that found it. It even found my poser files that I deleted out 6 months ago. (it took up 6 G of space so I had to get rid of it) what am I gunna do here? I have tried everything even a system restore and all that did was get rid of all but 4 folders. It started with 17 the rest of them got deleted out by the system restore don't ask me why, so I undid that.

Does anyone know of anything or anyway to get my folder back, I need that folder it has 200 bucks of work in it, stuff that I was being paid to do and now it's gone. Please anyone help me...Please I am begging...

I don't know what else to do except sit here and cry my eyes out cause it's gone. I'm really upset over this..you don't know how much. I just really want it back.

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

I also went through and I'm sorry about this one but I deleted out old friends that either, don't talk to me, that act like they are better then me, or they aren't active any longer. Hey I understand that RL gets in the way of on line life and that's understandable, but come on, why be a snob on line and not even say thank you for a comment, why ignore it and act like your better than the next person cause you might get a few bucks for what you do? that has always burns my ass about art sites, people who have millions of page views, millions of comments, tons of DD but won't give you the time of day unless they feel your on the same level as them...I can name a few on this site right now but I won't cause I'm better then that. SO I say be a snob and don't comment to people who say "your art work is amazing!" or who fave you. thatÂs fine cause I will always say thank you and always appreciate any faves (even if I forget to thank you for those cause I don't see them until I have already thanked or hugged you for the comment) But I will always post it here as a way of saying thanks for those. If I have ever forgot to say thank you to someone for a comment it might have something to do with me not being here or my health or my daughter being on and I haven't gotten the chance to come here and do it. Sometimes I forgot but it's not on purpose. Just know that I really do love the comments and love the faves of any work that I toss up here. I have nothing but love for everyone of the close friends that I have made on this site.

I love you all and the kindness you have shown me over the years of being here.

anyway thereÂs a rant for the day..how long has it been since my last one???

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE FAVES FOR THE LAST TWO IMAGES!!!

and I have another one coming as some as I figure out why it doesn't look good to me right now. It's another image of Lee Jun Ki I like how it turned out, I just can't get over the colors of it, there's something about it that doesn't look right and I can't see it posted up here until I figure it out why...hmmm might be a while before you see it...hey you might not even see it...

Huggs and kisses to everyone, take care and be safe!!!

oh and if I stopped watching you and you notice it, let me know and I will go back to watching you, there were some that I wasn't sure about. But 79 of you are now gone off my list...sorry if this offends anyone.

..::STAMPS::..

Guess what I found out today???

My ex (yes he's my EX now) got remarried...isn't that interesting??makes you think about what I have been saying all along. HE LIED!!!
Oh well it's her problem now, he'll cheat on her as well as soon as he gets bord!!! KARMA SUCKS!!!

Oh well, At least I don't have that headache to worry about anymore now it's just me being out of work cause of the surgury and wondering how I am going to pay my rent next month. I did have an angel in my life who paid this months rent, I don't know who did it but I thank them from the bottom of my heart for doing it. I was really worried about where I was going to come up with the money for the rent. My asian hunn has been being really nice to me lately as well, kinda scary when you think about it, and no it wasn't him, he's asian he's to tight with his money he would rather save it then spend it..hahahaha I am doing much better except I'm over doing it and putting myself into a lot of pain that I shouldn't only cause I don't want to sit around and do nothing. It drives me insame to just sit around. So I'm over doing it and having to take pain pills like candy.

anyway, I'm going to this tag only cause I haven't done one in a very long time and well I felt like doing it...besides I stole it

Rules

1) Tell a little about yourself

2) There will be up to 25 questions you must answer them all.

3) Tag at least 6 others
GO!

1. What is your heritage? Seriously?
German

2. Who do you hang more or do things to most with?
My daughter, I don't get out much.

3. Your favorite colors?
Black, dark purple, dark red, dark blue

4. Your favorite foods?
Chinese!!!

5. What is your fear(s)?
Not being able to see my dreams come true

6. Which preference? Straight? Gay? Bi?
Straight!!!

7. How tall are you?
5'5"

8. What is your personality like?
Strange

9. What make you happy?
Being able to make others happy

10. Is there anything you regret?
Failing the Army and getting married to the men that I did

11. Things you wished you finished.
Have to get back to you on this one.

12. Do you drive? If so what do you drive?
Yes I drive, I drive a 1990 Ford Bronco II called 'Big Red' got it title for title didn't pay a dime for her!

13. What state/country were you born in?
USA...New Mexico

14. Where do you live now?
In Mo.

15. List your favorite actress,
I have to many to name.

16. List your favorite actor,
Bruce Payne and many more

17. There is a party, ok kewlÂ where and what are you going to do there?
I haven't been to a party in so long I wouldn't know what I would do.

18. Would you pose for Playboy/Playgirl Magazine?
Hell NO!! I'm so screwed up on my stomach area that I would scare to many people, Plus I hate camreas

19. You are going on a cruise on those fancy big ass vacation boats; who would you like to be with you on this trip?
hmm Yazoo??? oh yea he's not real, okay then Lee Jun Ki cause he's one hot Korean or maybe just a bunch of Hot asian guys...yummmmmmmmmmy

20. Your favorite transportation.
Something I don't have to drive.

21. Truth? Or Dare?
DARE

22. Your favorite animal?
All of them

23. Do you drink? What brand?
Not very much anymore but when I did it was Coors light in a bottle or Austie (sp?)

24. Favorite Band?
Easy one DEF LEPPARD!!!

25. Activities? Is so how many, and how often?
I don't get out much so I sit and watch movies on line!

I tag the first 6 people to answer this journal...you know you want too, just do it!!!!

..::STAMPS::..

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

Bad News

~taria — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:36:39 PDT

This isn't Taria, this is her daughter. I was just letting everyone know that my mom hasn't been one because she has been extremly sick. Yesterday my boyfriend and I took her to the hosptial and she was rushed too another hospital to get an emergency surgery. I don't really know when she will be coming home but like I said, I thought you should know.

Taria's Daughter~

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

Guess what????

~taria — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:06:56 PDT

I AM OFFICALLY DIVORCED!!!!!!

lets all do the happy dance.

I say it's about time, but I still have yet to get my stuff..

at least that bridge is burnt down to the ground!!!

D. I. V. O. R. C. E. D.

happy happy joy joy

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

Out of Zoloff....

~taria — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 08:04:09 PDT

yes it's true I'm out of my happy pills and my asian cutie just moved out to move in with his friend... I so want to cry right now it's not funny. I'm trying not too, but because I don't have my meds I'm 'feeling' sadness again...I'm so bummed cause he left.....sadness is setting in fast...I hope my meds show up today...I need one badly...it's like your best friend moving so far away and you know you won't ever see eachother again...Yes I liked him (but I wasn't in love with him) and it hurts seeing him leave without him even saying 'bye'. It might have been cause he didn't want to and maybe there was a spark there as well, you think? (my wishfull thinking.)He he he

oh well, it wasn't ment to be...nothing is for me these days.

Hell even the capt that I talk about a while back that I thought was also a cutie doesn't even come around anymore, he doesn't call to say hello or anything he pretty much cut himself off from all together. You know I'm starting to wonder if they all thought it was for the best if none of them live around me or something, maybe they think I am mental or something. They need to put themselves in my place and see how they feel with my life, then judge me for it after they have had a taste of what I go through everyday. I bet they would change their tune then huh?

Well, I'm done cause I'm about to cry here plus I need to go up to CO again for my appointment and then up to my mothers (yeah) for a day or two.

BTW I didn't have a chance to wish my baby boy HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! so HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY BOO BOO!! LOVE YOU BUNCHES!!! *mental hugs and kisses*

Take care and be safe everyone!!

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

Mercy again....

~taria — Mon, 19 May 2008 22:02:35 PDT

for some god awful reason my computer decided that it wanted to take a nose dive and reboot it's self wiping out everything I had and I mean everything is gone now. all my images, all my tut's all, my new brushes (that I can't remember where I got them from) most of my programs to include PS-CS (which come with the computer) Poser, all the programs I used to move things from one program to another, My yahoo is going crazy as well, signing off and on for some reason, I also lost my AGE program and many more that I had, Rhino is now asking for my seriel number that for the life of me I can't find and now I'm upset about it, I lost the dragon shoes I was working on, I lost all the clothing and armor that I had stored on my C-drive instead of my external like I normaly do, which BTW that desided to go out on me as well, well not the drive just the encloser that held it went out so now I have to find a new encloser just so I can use the drive again and get all my back up copies. I was working on something for DAZ and now I can't finish it due to the external going out. Not to mention my big income tax check still hasn't gotten here and it's passed the 8 week mark, I didn't get the rebate one either like I thought I would on the 16th since I did file the fast way.

Man if it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all.

Anyway, I have to go to the doctor tomorrow to find out what they are going to do about the cysts, wish me luck.

everyone take care and be safe!!

Ja-Ne

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

Mercy...

~taria — Mon, 05 May 2008 17:41:37 PDT

It has been a while since I have been here, It's not that I don't to spend my waking moments sitting here and doing what I love but I do have to work to pay the rent so guess what's been taking my waking moments now? that's right, I'm working my ass off, slaving over a hot stove and a hot oven 8 hours a day, making food for 26 people plus employies, and having to get up at 3am during the weekends and some during the week after working the night shift, talk about a crazy life.

not to mention my wrist is KILLING ME, and my back has a pinched nerve that won't get out of there, I've had it for the past 3 months. My hand and fingers go numb everytime I move, I can't lift anything heavy anymore, I now have two cysts on my overy just found that out today, My boss lady still wants to fire me cause of my non lifting, But my other boss lady says no cause I'm a good worker, so I am safe until they get sick of me, My headaches have gotton worse, I'm not stressing so much anymore thanks to my happy pills but I sware I'm falling apart.

I do wish to thank everyone and I mean EVERYONE that has added one of my images to their collections or that have started watching me. I am thrilled and very honored that you choose to do so. I will start doing something again soon as my exturnal drive is up and running again, I still need to find an encloser for it somewhere, but that is hard to do when I work all the time and go to appointments during my days off which means I get no rest time cause I'm being poked and proded, or shoved into more pain cause of a treatment they want to try that doesn't work but causes 10 times more pain than I had when I went there. But if I don't go or tell them no, they say I'm not being with the program (I can't spell the other word)

but that's about it in a nut shell and you know me by now, I am very long winded..enjoy

take care and be safe!

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

not worring about much anymore.

~taria — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:45:02 PDT

thanks to me getting sertraline (zolph) I don't worry about anything like I used too, I don't worry if someone is mad or if I have done something wrong. I love that pill very much. Hell it helps me not cry anymore and that's what I wanted, I haven't cried over anyone or anything. Not like I used too, I would sit here and ball cause I thought I upset my asien hun or I'm lonely, or anything like that. I really do love this pill. it helps sooo much.

other then that. I almost had to move due to me not having the money to pay the rent. But since they are taking it out of my check I hope I will get caught up soon and things will be okay. Oh I didn't get the job at the waffle house, I got on here at the nursing home working as a cook in the kitchen, It's a harder job due to heavy lifting of those huge pots, but it's a job and I do like it. It's not hard, except for the lifting part of it, but the rest is easy as pie.

My mother and I got into a fight about me coming back to stay, she doesn't understand why I don't want too, she just wants her slave to come back. I personally don't want to come back cause I'm trying to make it on my own, this is my turn and I need it to make something for my self and for my daughter who will be coming here to stay once we go there and finally tell them she's coming up permenitly. I know there will be a blow out about my dogs, but what else can I do? I want to bring them but I don't have the 850 for the deposit they are asking for. so I'm hoping they will keep them until I can figuare out what I really want to do. I want to stay here cause I like it here and everyone dosen't want me to move.

I just want to make this work even if it means 300 comes out of my check every pay day and I only get 80 bucks a pay period, but at least I get to stay here in this apt. I almost had to move into a smaller one, I would have moved back then if they had forced me to move into that small place. it was small, like living in a motel room and I couldn't do it. it was way to small I would've felt like the walls were closing in on me. But they made a deal with me and I got to stay in this one which is way bigger...

but anyway, that's what's been going on these last few days. My shoulder killing me, my wrist killing me and my mother throwing a childish fit over me not coming back. Oh and my external drive going out, that had every program I used on it. every picture and every piece of work I was doing was on the external. I think it's the fan to be honest, cause when I turn it on nothing happens, it sort of acts like my desk top did when the fan on it went out. This one has a fan, not like the newer ones that don't but this one does. Now it's the matter of how much will it cost for me to get it fixed so I can get my programs/files back. I would be upset about it but thank you Zolph for surpressing those depression feelings....I do need my drive back though..I miss all my files and my poser....

anyway, take care everyone and stay safe...Huggs and tons of kisses for those who have faved, added or commented to anything I have done. not sure when I will be able to do anything else while the drive is acting up.

Oh and if I don't answer for a while it's probally cause I work most of the time now and when I do come home I am so tiered that I go to sleep and don't wake up till late. so please don't get offened by me not repling back to you.

..::STAMPS::..

Another small update...

~taria — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 12:44:16 PST

EDIT: OH MY GOD!!!!! check it out, my other neighbor I will refer to as my country boy, said he would pay to have my internet turned back on...CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?!? and he said he would also pay the bill every month while he was still here so he could use the net. I can't believe he is willing to do that for me. I have never had anyone do something that nice for me... NEVER...I feel like passing out..I can't believe it..I never even asked him, he just came up to the door and asked about it then told me all this stuff. I was shocked I can't beleive it. holy cow, my hearts pounding so fast now...I can't believe it...

************************************************************************

Well I found a job, nothing much but it's better then nothing. I work at the Waffle House down the street...*sighs* I'm getting 3.60 and hour for waitressing and I get to keep my tips. So hopefully I can make enough to pay the rent and not have to worry to much about where or how I'm going to come up with the money for it. It won't be enough to get my internet back in my name, at least not yet. But as soon as I get enough saved to make up the bill then I will get it turned back on so I don't get dropped all the time. Plus it will be mine and I don't have worries then. I don't mind the shareing trust me and I am grateful that I can, but when I get dropped I always have to go over to my asian hunny and get him to reconnect and I feel like I bother him enough as it is. I hate bugging people, I really do.

But enough of that...I have to work today for 3 hours. orintation thing (did I spell that right?) and then offically start on wednesday after my appiontment up north. It's those that I'm going to have to worry about now, if they are going to be angry about me havng to take those hours off, I can come in after I get done so that's not a problem except for the one where they shoot me in the neck with the needle, that one puts me out I can't funtion with that one at all. I was out last time, in pain and felt like I couldn't breath, it was horriable. But it's to stop this pain in my wrist and right now it didn't work, my wrist is still hurting and stinging a lot more. They said it gets better the more they do it...but can we say ouchy???

anyway I need to dry my hair and get ready to go. I have to be there by 4p...I just hope I make enough in tips like I did at the other restraunt, I was makng enough to pay them and even got caught up. So keep a prayer that I do and fingers crossed or which ever religion you are do something good for me to help me make it here so I can stay.

well you all take care and be safe.

Oh and thank you so much for all the faves on my newest one. Thank you thank you thank you.

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Just an update

~taria — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 10:33:17 PST

Well still no job, still looking and still nothing so far.

I have a few things going on like the collage class I'm doing that has to be finished by the 5th or else, a commission that needs to be finished painitng it will be a pain, a couple of projects that I'm playing around with, cause I'm trying to sharpen my skills with what ever it is that I do when it comes to art and watching my ass get bigger.

not doing any contest images even though I was going too but found that they look bad so I deleted them, this hand seems to be more wiggly then it was before. I can't seem to make a straight line with the mouse like I used to and everything else looks so nasty to me, not sure why I can't get things to blend all together, I have searched for a tut over so many sites for years looking for something that would help me make it look more real, I've tried ever trick I can think of to make things fit together and still they don't work. My I should just stick with making graphics instead of drawing or poser work. I'm finding that maybe I'm not that good with them, I am however good at graphic work making things up as I go along, who knows really. self pitty here, one of those days I guess.... I'll get over it.

I also have a few appiontments that I have to do for the VA, yippy.
One is an MRI to find out why I have been getting so many headaches everyday, that's on the 11th
another one is for my bleeding problem, set for tomorrow another shot is comming *shivers*
then one to see my VA rep to file the papers to contest the 10% rating I got, that's on the 1st.
and then another on the 27th (I think) for a class on small buisness loan I have to take and that consists of three class over a three month period. Funny huh? but it has to be done if I want the loan. I was thinking about opening my own little coffie shop, not sure how it will work living in Nauvoo since mormans don't drink coffee, but it's worth a shot right? That of something else. not sure what though. I could do it there in Nauvoo or here in St. Robert. I will have to think about it and see where it would work best.

anyway that's about it...not much else has been going on. still no word from the soon to be EX about getting my stuff. Starting to wonder here.

I found this site though kinda fun and kinda dorky all rolled into one it was a movie quote site and when I put my name in it generated a cool quote abd gave me a code to put in here but the image didn't show just the link to it. so I will just tell you what it said,

I kept it but it didn't show the banner, bummer...

You know the difference between you and me? I make Taria look good.

Which movie was this quote from?

Soylent Green is Taria!

Which movie was this quote from?

have fun with it.....

take care and be safe!

..::STAMPS::..

some wishes come true!

~taria — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 20:21:50 PST

thank god for sweet asian men who know how to work the internet! My asian hunny set me up and look.............I'm on line again here in MO! God I love that guy! (well 'like', but you know what I mean) He got me hooked up to another good friends internet who is also in the army and said if I can connect then go ahead and I don't have to pay him for it..how sweet is that?

I'm back on line and ready to rock...I could hug my Asian hunny until his eyes pop out but I won't cause he won't let me but the thoughts there if he ever needed a hug. So mental hug for my Asian hun!!!! every body do it together now! one two three, HUG HIM TIGHT!!!

well that's one good thing so far...lets see if there are any more to come. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

ewwwwww, get it off me!!! it's slimy to the touch!!! I'm melting!!!! warm and fuzzy feeling over taking my body.....*gurgles*

oh I have my first pain management apt tomorrow, watch them tell me my pain is all in my head..I wish it was cause then I could forget it, short term memory loss here! I wouldn't remember I was in pain for 2 months! sure would beat being in pain 20 hours a day the other four I'm not... bet they give me meds to make it stop..I won't take them cause I hate taking meds for this. besides if it's the same ones I already have they won't do me any good but give me a huge headache that I already have all the time so why make it worse. Oh well we'll see what they do.

Taria's back in action...for the time being!

take care and be safe everyone!!!

BTW anyone want to take on the challange of designing me a new CSS for my journal? it has to have Yazoo in it, I'll trade for one, I do you an image for a kick ass journal design. but it has to make me go, "O M G!!!"

oh yeah I forgot...(told yea, short term memory loss)

I reached 25,000 and didn't even know it until a few days ago..thanks for everyone who's come to visit me even in my dark days, those whos faved something of mine and those of you who have added me to their watches..THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

I am sorry that I've been so emo lately, I am trying not to be so down in the dumps, but real life sucks and sometimes I just wish the door to reality would close for a while and let me be happy for once! When I ate chinese with my mother the other day I got two fortune cookies and one said: "Be brave at heart, take that chance it's been there all the time."
and the other said "Right now there's an energy pushing you to stay on your path."

I'm hoping it means something good and my dark days will get lighter soon, and yes I believe in them, don't be a hater!

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

I also lost my internet at my place, the only time I can use it is when I'm here at my mothers for a couple of days...and this place stresses me out so much that I get headaches and chest pains, I really don't want to have to move back here but if I don't get a job by the end of this month guess where I will be going? that's right, right back here into the stress zone and the guilt zone. I won't be on my own anymore, the free will to do what I want when I want the chance to stay up passed 12 if I wanted too, or to eat when I wanted to, nope right back here being treated like a 4 year old, driving my mother all over the place, cleaning everything all the time, not having the time to sit and do anything without being called away every 5 minutes, being labeled as a useless person cause I couldn't make it in the army, not having a job anywhere in this state that doesn't require heavy lifting in factorys and forced to eat when I'm not hungry.

same ole shit different day.....I really hate my life...I wish something good would happen this year, so I won't have to worry so much about anything.

Still nothing from the soon to be about my stuff..holidays are done and gone and he still hasn't sent anything saying come get it...maybe he's waiting until next christmas, you think?

take care and be safe!!!

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

Guess what I got back?

~taria — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 11:59:55 PST

Yep, my suscription!!! paypal finally lefted my limits and I was able to get myself a 3 monther again.

Yea me!!!!

Anyway I'm sitting here at my mothers feeling trapped like a dog in a cage cause my car is off getting fixed due to no heater so I'm here roaming threw sites looking for anything that catches my interest, which is pretty much nothing. I did see a font I liked but I can't find it on line anywhere so I'm thinking that maybe its not out anymore which sort of sucks cause it was cool looking, but oh well.

It snowed at least 3 inches earlier to day and it was pretty to see come down. I love the snow I just hate the cold.

Oh well as you can tell not much has happened today except for that...

Oh what did everyone get for christmas? I got a sweet black dragon, it is wicked! it's sitting like a cat would and has it's wings open with silver braclets and a head piece on its head. it's about a foot tall, I LOVE IT!!! got it from my pookie...shes so sweet...

anyway take care everyone and be safe out there!

got my subscription back...*does happy dance*

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

Bummer....

~taria — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 18:26:35 PST

looks like my subscription has left the building...bummer too..now I know what it feels like not to have one and I feel for those who don't have one, it does suck to be without all the perks...I even lost my pretty journal

anyway, went to see the child and I even brought her here for the week, sad that I had to take her back. I miss having her here with me, now the house feels empty without her giggling and laughing like she was. Of course my step father had to go make me feel like total dirt when I left, he likes to do that when I leave. he just doesn't understand what I have to do here...I'm hoping I get my VA soon so I can go back and be with my sweetness cause I really miss her and of course go back into that living hell having to hear him call me names.

I'm bummed right now..but I will get over it got to go to OT tomorrow so I have to call it a night..

thanks for the hugs and the well wishes...I hope things get better for me soon I can't get any lower than this...

take care and be safe!!

theres ice out there!!!

going to see the child...

~taria — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 12:34:41 PST

I'll be gone for a few days to go see my yougun once again, gotta pound her cause she's acting up...LOL JK she doesn't know this but she will be coming back with me for a week to get her away from the house for a brake. But I might be also moving back cause well, I'm not making it here, the jobs I have been getting are screwing me over every time and cutting hours back every chance they get. you can't make anything working 3 days a week and only getting 16 hours a week...that's not alot, granted the tips a great but no hours mean no tips.

So unless something happens, like a merical then I will be heading back next weekend, not by choice. man this sucks, I really liked it here too. The asian hun was being extra nice to me here lately, he's making eye contact, and even smiling and laughing more. makes you wonder huh? man I'm going to miss that. theres no asains in in IL that aren't married. I so wish my life would get better so i wouldn't have to worry so much. If I can't find a better job then I have to move back...so depressing.

I will post the commission I did for that girl up when I get back, I took a photo of it so I have it on my camera. I would be willing to sell the two I did to anyone who might want to buy it, so make me an offer I won't refuse and it's yours.

and if you might want something else let me know, the bigger they are the more they will cost, the smaller they are the less they cost. Right now anythng helps me stay here longer and I don't have to go back into the hell I just left so soon. I just need enough to stay the month of dec cause that's when I find out about my VA.

anyway, you all take care and be safe...ja-ne!!

see you when I get back.

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

some more good news

~taria — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 22:34:07 PST

guess what?

I got my very first paying commission...can you believe that? Some one is going to pay me to draw them a large chinese dragon. They saw the ones I did and ask for one for them selves, of course I said sure, but I don't have the fadiest idea what to charge for something that big. of course my asian hunny said I should charge half a months rent for it, but 275.00 seems like a lot of cash for something that won't take that long to draw. Maybe a few weeks I've already got it drawn out and I'm adding the scales now. (stopped to write this cause the hand was hurting a bit from doing so many scales.) I would take photos so you can see it but the pencils lines are to faint for the camera to pick up, so I will take a photo after I ink it out that way the camera will pick it up better. anyway, I don't know what to charge for it.

Oh and I got asked to draw something on a tire cover as well...kinda cool cause I've done one of those before. Hopefully they don't ask for people cause I can't draw people by hand.

I do have other news, I'm not sure if I told you or not, but I went to the doctor (a hot asian doctor to boot) the other day and found that I have Endometrioses and they gave me a shot that will throw me into premature menapause which might be a good thing, but the shot causes side effects that piss me off...one of them is a redused sex drive...I CAN'T HAVE THAT!! I'm about to get divorced and it's my chance to go out and have some fun and not having 'that' sucks, it's bad enough that I keep looseing out on getting the guys I like cause they go for the 'cute' girls always the freaken cute girls, which depresses me even more, I mean I didn't think I was that bad but every time that happens it makes me feel even uglier. So now I won't even be interested in....my favorite thing, life sucks sometimes...so not fair but who said life was fair right? Anyway, other then feeling depressed about not getting the cute guys but the old saggy men....*shivers* not much else is happening. Hopefully the VA gets done and I will get my disablitly check soon.. that would be nice since I really need the cash right now.

I hope you all had a great thanks giving.. even if I didn't

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

oh and BTW, I'm not a blonde right now. I'm a brunette I dyed my hair color for a while for a change so to speak. I needed a change. So if you hear or see some really ugly girl on the news with brown hair it might be me..LOL just playing. JUST KIDDING!!!

oh did I tell you that I quit my job at the PX? if not I'll you later if you really want to know. But I did find a new one for now, it's waitressing and it's killing my wrist holding those heavy plates... it's a greek restraunt...I wanted to work at a chinese or japanese one here in MO, but they won't hire out side family people. Oh well.. I tried..

Anyway, you guys take care and be safe, I'm headed up to see the youngun for the weekend.

..::STAMPS::..
...

changing journal

~taria — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 07:44:45 PDT

I stole this from cause I thought it would be fun to do. so here we go:

How much are you worth?

Hair Color:
[ ] Black = $100
[x] Blonde = $50
[ ] Red = $75
[ ] Brown = $15
[ ] Bald = $5
[ ] Other=$2

Total: $50 (shouldn't the blonde be worth only 2 bucks? JUST KIDDING!!!!)

Eye Color:
[ ] Brown - $150
[ ] Green - $75
[ ] Blue $50
[x] Hazel $100
[ ] Other - $15

Total so far: $150 (they stay green but they do change to blue as well, so i guess that makes me hazel right?)

Height:
[ ] Over 7' - $200
[ ] 6'8" to 7' - $175
[ ] 6'0" to 6'7" - $150
[x] 5'5" to 5'11" - $75
[ ]4'9" to 5'4" - $50
[ ] Under 4'9 - $45

Total so far: $225

Age:
[ ] 41 to 50 - $150
[ ] 31 to 40 - $100
[ ] 26 to 30 - $75
[ ] 21 to 25 - $50
[ ] 19 to 20 - $25
[ ] 0 to 18 - $100

Total so far: $225 (IÂll take zero for this one, I wonÂt tell my age)

Birth Order:
[ ] Twins or more than twins - $300
[ ] First Born - $300
[ ] Only Child - $250
[ ] second born - $150
[ ] Middle child - $100
[ ] Last Born - $200
[x] third born - $100
[ ] fourth born - $100
[ ] fifth born-$375

Total so far: $325

Drink?
[x] No - $400
[ ] Only Holidays - $250
[ ] Sometimes - $215
[ ] YES - $200
[ ] only weekends - $300
[ ] Every other day - $50
[ ] Once a day - $15
[ ] I live from the bottle

Total so far: $725 (stopped drinking 16 years ago)

Vision?
[ ] perfect vision $300
[x] need or have glasses/contacts but don't wear them $200
[ ] No correction $100
[ ] Glasses $50
[ ] contacts $25
[ ] Surgical correction -$135

Total so far: $925

Car Color [or familes' car(s)]:
[ ] White - $2,000
[ ] Maroon - $800
[ ] Gold - $700
[ ]Gray - $600
[x] Blue - $900
[ ] Pink - $475
[ ] Black - $450 w00t!
[ ] Red - $400
[ ] Green- $350
[ ] Silver $300
[ ] Purple- $250
[ ] Metallic - $200
[ ] Yellow - $100
[ ] Primer - $75
[ ] Tan- $20
[ ] Rusted - $15
[ ] No Car - $0

Total score: $1825 (there wasnÂt a selection for spots)

Shoe Size:
[ ] 13+ - $300
[ ]12 and a half to 13 - $250
[ ] 11 to 12 - $700
[x] 7 to 10 - $600
[ ] Under 7- $550

Total so far: $2425

Favorite Colors (three):
[ ] Green-$750
[x] Black - $600
[x] Red - $800
[ ] Yellow -$475
[ ] Brown - $50
[x] Purple - $225
[ ] White - $400
[ ] Aqua - $350
[ ] Orange - $300
[ ] Blue - $300
[ ] Pink - $100
[ ] Other - $ 50

Total so far: $4050

Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[ ] Yes $0
[ ]No-add $1000
[x] on some- $750

Total so far: $4800 (well duh, itÂs to early to think.)

How many people are you going to tag?
[ ] 100-150 = 250,000
[ ] 90 - 80 = $100,000
[ ] 70 -60 = $50,000
[ ] 50 - 40 = $10,000
[ ] 30 - 20 = $5,000
[ ] 20 - 10 = $1,000
[x] 10 - 1 = $500

Total so far: $5300 (as many that want to do it, so if you do this I get to add some more)

Now add your number of pageviews : 23,785 Page views (wow didnÂt know I had that many.)

Total: $29,085 (damn I could use this money right now, I could sit back and relax for a few days until I found a better job, maybe get a better carÂ pay a few months on the rent, pay off the rest of the bills, wow think about it? Why canÂt dreams be real???)

time to go to my Occupational therapy session, yes with you know who....should I maybe wear the low cut red shirt??? JUST KIDDING!!! I'm going too anyway cause it gets the guys to come to the jewerly counter. Which I'm going to quit anyway, I can't take the stress of making sure all the high preiced stuff is still there when counting it 50 freaking times cause it's off and they won't tell you how much it's off to make it easier for you to find. nooooooooo, they just say it's off and you have to go back and recount and recount and recount. hell I usally don't come in un til after 2:30p and they still haven't got the counts right so what happenes? it's ut on my shoulders while they get to go home...I think that's a crock, if you open you should make sur...

what is wrong with me lately?

~taria — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 20:15:13 PDT

I sware it doesn't matter what I'm doing, I just start crying and feel sorry for myself. What is going on with me as of late? am I sick or something? do I have some deep mental things wrong with me? Why do I find myself crying over the sillist things? I mean down right sobbing type of crying....I did it again last night, even though some of it was from my hand hurting so much it made me cry some, But I took a pill to stop that but found I couldn't stop crying. I kept thinking why am I destion to be all alone? why has this all happened to me suddenly throwing my world into the huge nightmare with no way to find the tunnel that has the light for me to escape, if god has plans I wish he would let me in on the joke, enough of this already, show me what you want me to do....

I mean I still find that I think about my asian neighbor, why do I do that? He doesn't like me, I get it, but why am I being stupied and thinking about him all the time? Why am I punishing myself with thought of him? (nothing kinky, no sex, no kissing, just exceptence, weird huh?) what the fuck is wrong with me!!??!! MAN!!! I need to stop and wake up. It wouldn't matter if I wasn't living next door or not, I went home for a couple of days and found I was thinking about him the whole time, even talking about him to people..I'm not stalking him now, I just can't get him off my mind...*shakes head then bangs it on the table* I seriously need some one else to occupy my thoughts...I need something that will make me stop thinking about him..I'm not even thinking about him in a sexual manner, I still think of Yazoo that way, but not him. I can't even see my self kissing him or hugging him...I just him to like me as a friend and not treat me like I don't exsist, you know what I mean? See I do have some serious issues don't I? Wait, now don't get me wrong, I would kiss him and hug him if he grabbed me and did it himself. but me...no I can't see my self doing that to him. Hey here's the good thing, it will never happen that's for sure, so I'm safe there..

I'm loosing my mind.. I sware I am, I'm going crazy cause of my soon to e ex dumping me for that fat ass cow, THE BASTARD!!!...I know thats what this is. I can't get my self back up no matter how hard I try. I see happy couples kissing and holding hands and I just want to puke my guts out, I sware he has really made me hate love, he's made me think there is no such thing as love anymore, even if I see it, I think it will end for them as well. I hate being this way!!!!! I hate being negative!!!!

I want to know there is such thing as love and that it will and might happen for me again one day and this time it will stick for ever next time I won't have to worry about the man being honest and trust worthly cause he will be. AND DAMN IT ALL HE WILL BE ASIAN! sorry had to add that.. it was important...

someone just shot me...put me out.

oh btw, I did some serious shading on those two dragons but my camera is making it look very light so I didn't upload a new WIP of them due to it not looking like I did anything. I comparied the two side by side and didn't see a difference so I deleted the photo. I did some wicked shading and it looks amazing, (no wonder my hand is killing me and I'm tearing up from the pain) even I'm impressed by it. It's really nice but that damn camera has to go make it look like nothing was done when It had been. I did the purple/red one last night and the black/blue one this morning. (I even distrubed my neighbor so much he turned his music up loud to keep from hearing the scatching noises I was making with the pencil against the wall, yes it's on the wall that leads to his apt..did I do that on purpose? nope, the lights better on that side of the room.) I did do something to them, oh well if I get a better shot of it I will upload it for all to see...it looks great. there's still a little more to do, like still add the hair and the shade the balls that they are holding. maybe add something to the background.. not sure yet about that..it's supposed to be a ying yang, but I didn't make enough room for the black and white design.

enough of my yapping..

take care and be safe!

..::STAMPS::..

..::STAMPS::..

..::STAMPS::..

It was great to be able to chat with him for over two hours yeah it was over 2 hours, cause I started my laundry and then we started talking, it was great (thinks back at him looking at the girls) He gave me watermellon, I love watermelan (sp? it's early sue me) He even offered to give me a ride to work the next morning But he was leaving 2 hours early and I didn't want to sit around waiting for two hours plus I wasn't ready.

OH OH GUESS WHAT ELSE??? I got a car, that's right, I got another car for 1,000.00 I really didn't want to spend that much and it was hard to let it go, but I needed a car. It's a 95' SAAB it's blue and it has some power behind it. It's my new Yazoo..It's stubburn as well and complacated (perfect right?) It should be Kadaj, but I can't see myself calling it anything but Yazoo since it's got all that power to ride on...(Swan dive into the gutter) I'll take a picture of it with my phone and see if I can send it here so you can see it, it's cute. I would much rather have the old Yazoo back but The new one is just as good and it's paid for and I don't have to worry about anythng but keeping it running. I need to get the exsaust fixed cause when you start it, it sounds like a race car and it's smoking so I need to find out why it's doing that, he stuck a new breather on it and now the car's check engin light stays on all the time. hopefully that doesn't do anything to it, like force it to shut down cause it's not used to suck ari flow, but we'll see cause if it does that he will be sending me money back. I already told him that and had him sign an agreement to it. He's in the military and it's against the rules to sell a lemon to anyone with out telling them everything. I looked it up..

Anyway that's it, I have to work today so I am going to jump in the shower and fix my hair, now that I can wear it down again I am having a blast!! a lot of people told me that they loved my hair and didn't even know it was as long as it was. (passed the middle of my back, a lot longer Mel!!!)

Well you all take care now and BE SAFE!!!

..::STAMPS::..

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Peek A Boo

~taria — Sat, 26 May 2007 12:51:53 PDT

Don't get to excited!! I'm still in Ft Lwood, I'm just on a weekday pass and saw computers and went, with all that is holy and grant my wish that I don't get into more pain I paid for some time and here I am...on line for a brief run threw to see how everyone is doing...I hope your all doing well??

Me? well other than feeling stuck and pissed off cause I didn't make it threw Basic once again due to me braking on the one obstical (sp?) I'm doing okay. I'm pissed cause I really wanted to be here and make this work and now I can't.. I feel I let my self and my child down. My wrist hurst and the pain that will forever shake threw it not to mention the lovely 5 inch scar that looks like I tried to kill myself (I'll take photos) to remind me of how much I tried and failed. I'm going to love my self even more now. NOT!!!!

Why do bad things happen to those of us who really want something so bad that they can taste it, but find that when the doors open wide enough for stepping threw, someone on the other side shoves you out and slams it shut in your face??? Why when I think I'm finally going to make something out of myself I get kicked in the face?? man My life sucks even more now..and yes I'm having a pity party!! I think I deserve this one

anyway, I thought I would stop in and write you all a note..

BTW where's my letters from you all?? not one has written.. that's not true I did get one..I forgot who it was now due to the fact that I was in the hospital at the time it got to me so I was out of it.. but thank you to you, you know who you are cause your the only one that has written... But I've been waiting for others and nothing..nothing has come.. no words of wisdom no, images of my hun Yazoo to sit and stare at.. nothing...I feel so unloved here..

well I better run off before they see my using my right hand which I'm not supposed to be doing cause it's too soon..But I had to stop in...Macy I will call you tonight when I get the chance okay?

I won't be qable to reply back to you cause I only get a pass every now and then...but take care and be safe!!!!!!

I will be home soon.. but not to soon I hope..I still need at least 2 more checkes. I lost Yazoo while I was gone.. THEY TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME THE BASTARDS!!!

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Bad News Guys

~taria — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 18:46:29 PDT

Mom shattered her wrist, during a training thing. It had to get metal plates put in it and a couple of screws. She will be returning home, they wont let her stay in because they think her body is to weak. Though they admire her for trying really hard and wish that she could stay but they know that her mind heart and soul is in it. But her body wont. However, she is doing fine and she misses everyone and that she knows she didn' fail. Trust me i mentaly slapped her around telling she didnt. She also doesn't know when she will be home but you can still write her. They also told her she could get a nurseing scolor ship through VA. So She might try that. I say she should dont you? Which means she can still be in the military. YAY lol so lets give wishes, of hoping she can do that. She wants to say take care and be safe and she misses you guys *Shes on the phone with me right now.*

love Taria
from her child!

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

Time for my new life

~taria — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 22:01:08 PDT

Well it's coming down to a few hours before I head off to start my Basic Training...I have to admit I am very nervious and very excited all in the same heart beat. I just hope I make it this time and not let anyone down, that I have to admit is my biggest fear out of all of this. I don't want my foot to act up and I don't want to fail...

I will miss everyone here, I will miss the fun times and the laughter you all have brought to me over this last year and a half during my heartache over loosing my stable life, I thank each and every one of you that have supported me threw this and a huge thank you to the ones that have helped me out with everything, you know who you are. I will miss talking to everyone and sharing my art with the ones that love Yazoo as much as I do. But always remember he is mine and I hate sharing!!!

I will have my daughter add my address here when she gets it so if you want, you can write to me and send me cookies..lol JK!

I will write back to anyone who writes to me...it will be nice to get letters this go round. I didn't get them before, so this time it will be nice to hear from anyone who chooses to write. You don't have too, this is your choice, but I will write back and hopefully you can read my handwritting.

I am going to keep this short and sweet due to me getting all teary and knowing that I won't be here to answer any of the comments...

Thank you for reading and send me your best while I'm gone...and keep an eye out for my work that no one takes without asking okay?

I will miss everyone of you, my dear sweet friends...I love you all dearly!

I MADE IT IN!!!!!!

Can you believe it??

I'm officially in the Army! I didn't have to sware in cause I'm prior service, but I will when I ship. I leave to go to basic training April 5th and I'll be gone for 18 weeks..

I can't believe I actually made it in, I fought tooth and nail to get them to change thier minds and they did, I'm in ..Now I'm really scared and excited...

I hope you all write to me at least once...I'll have my daughter post the address up here so you can since I don't know it yet. But I know I'm going to Ft. Leonardwood, Mo. I went there before so I know what to expect...the first day was hell but I can deal with that.

Man can you believe it? I made it...I'm going to be able to get my life back in order. It is a relief knowing that I can give my youngun her stablity back, plus if I get lucky I can go to Korea and drool over all the Asian men...

anyway I thought I would let everyone know that I did make it in and I will be leaving and won't be here during those 18 weeks But you can still write to me so I can get letters and not miss anyone as much and maybe JUST maybe I will post a photo of myself up in my uniform if it doesn't come out to bad that is.

I'm sure going to miss playing with Yazoo... 18 weeks without seeing his face is going to be hell...

Before I go I will try and finish up the images so no one misses out on thiers.

well, that's about it...

take care and be safe!

Contest
CANCLED
due to non interest..don't want to force people to do what they don't want to do.

No New Kiriban
since no one wants them..

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

Contest
The Silverhaired Snakes Contest, check out this journal for info: [link]

No New Kiriban
since no one wants them..

..::STAMPS::..

Wow took me two days to find the people who I owe bust images too, now to find the notes that they sent to me...

these two are the last two that I owe images too (lots of 2's in there)

if you can remember what you asked for please note me so I can finish them for you.

and now for some interesting news...

I got an e-mail from my STB (soon to Be exhusband) and it was a virus can you beleive that shit? I was like WTF, why is he being an ass all of a sudden and sending me an e-mail with a virus in it? so I sent him one back asking why he would send me a virus in the first place and got a reply not answering the why did you send me this question but him talking about how he doesn't have time to bring me my stuff cause 'he works' (he drives a truck whoopy) so of course I replyed with the whole you said you would and how he lied again and all that and then told him that I would sign the divorce papers without contesting them if he brought me back everything he promised. He of course only read half way threw it before he started the whole thing up about how I cheated and how he has this 'note' like I really care right? but then sends me another saying how he didn't read it all and it was his mistake but he said he would bring me my stuff (I thought he was to busy?)...he doesn't want to have to pay me...Should I be a real bitch here? and when he brings my stuff I tell him that I lied that I really want allomony (sp?) and that I won't sign anything...I should shouldn't I?

I mean I really don't give a shit anymore, I could care less what he does, but I could use the money since well, I'm a bum and have no job at the moment. What would $300 a month hurt? it's a car payment at least...maybe I should make that deal with him...yeah I think I will $300 a month until I get a desent job shouldn't hurt anyone, it's the least he can do right?...God I can be spitefull huh?

But anyway I thought I would share that bit of news with you.

okay, well that's about it...

if you haven't gone to my site go check it out:
Lorehand Creations
[link]

did I forget anything? I probably did... I always do.

take care and be safe!

Contest
The Silverhaired Snakes Contest, check out this journal for info: [link]

No New Kiriban
since no one wants them..

..::STAMPS::..

[link]

still thinking of how I'm going to do the gallery pages...

But I thought of a contest that I want to try and do, if I could hand draw this myself I would but I can't so I'm turning it into this contest.

My daughter and I were watching a show about snakes a few weeks back and I stood there thinking wouldn't it be funny to see the silver haired huneys as snakes...like for example:

Yazoo holding a mirror saying:
"I even make this look good."
Kadaj looking confused as he's looking at his sword saying:
"Now how am I supposed to dominate the world?"
Sephy crawing on the ground around the other two eyeing his next meal saying:
"mmmm...lunch."
and Loz as a mouse that sephys eyeing thinking:
"eepp..."

I have to say I was laughing at this one cause loz was a mouse about to be eaten by Sephy...

so this is the contest, who ever can make a really good drawing of this idea will win the contest and get any image from me that they want. (anything but porn)

So let the contest begin...it will run until the 3rd of march, that should be enough time. if not let me know...oh and for the contest, they have to be snakes..it 's funnier that way.. You can come up with your own captions or use the idea above, just make them snakes okay?

take care and be safe!

No New Kiriban

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

No fancy title

~taria — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 13:43:53 PST

I decided to try to do my site once again, no it won't be my own name it's one of the freebies at Geocities..it's all I can do until I get enough saved up to get my own name once again.

But it will have the normal stuff added to it.

Gallerys
About me
Links
Freebies
Projects
Tutorials

things like this..I might even have space for friends art if I get the chance..never know.

Anyway, I just thought I would update this once again...Not much excitment going on right now...boring day...

No New Kiriban

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

...::SUPPORT::...
STOP THE ART THEFT!
[link]

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

Anna Nichole Smith died...

~taria — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 13:22:22 PST

I just saw on TV that Anna Nichole Smith just died...damn...39 and dies...so sad for the family.

She always seemed wacked out, so I wonder if it isn't drug related. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

No New Kiriban

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

...::SUPPORT::...
STOP THE ART THEFT!
[link]

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first

did I do something wrong?

~taria — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 21:27:30 PST

Now even though I'm not one that really worries to much about pageviews or comments or anything like this, but I'm just wondering if I did something wrong?

I mean I post an image of Yazoo (who I will always post images of btw) and get tons of comments and tons of faves, (well enough to make me feel good at least) but when I do something else, like the last few images I've done, they don't even get the same responses..Now I'm not being picky here, I'm just wondering if me doing things like say "normal" I won't get as many people compaired to me doing Yazoo?

I agree that Yazoo is uber sexy and very hot and I will always love the guy, but if I filled my gallery with nothing but Yazoo people would get so bord that they would stop coming by cause any time I post an image all you would see was Yazoo and start sighing..'taria did another Yazoo...man now I have to comment.' and I really don't want that to happen, I really don't want anyone to get bord with my work and that's why I mix it up and add different things...(I will never stop doing images of Yazoo anyway...)

Right now my newest inspiration is Lee Jun Ki, only cause he has some super sexy eye's and he's ASIAN!!! that's a huge plus in my book, granted not everyone knows who is he, but if you go to You tube and do a search for Lee jun ki you can find him all over the place.

I know it's probally sounding like it's another pity me thing going on here but I'm not, not really, I'm just worried that maybe I'm becoming to boring and I need to find out what I can do to make it better. I want to keep people interested and keep them coming back (and not for page views cause I can give a rats ass about those) I just don't want to loose friends cause I'm becoming to..whats the word??? stagnet? is that it?

I just feel as though I'm loosing friends...and it makes me worry cause I really don't think of many of you as just friends, but more like close family...you guys have been with me threw thick and thin, all the crap that I went threw last year, all my rants, all my stupidness, all my crying fits...everything...I just don't to loose anyone cause I'm becoming to boring..

anyway, I just thought I would ask, no harm in asking if I did something wrong...right?

You guys take care and be safe...

No New Kiriban

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

No New Kiriban

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

No New Kiriban

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

No New Kiriban

..::STAMPS::..

..::CLUBS::..

...::SUPPORT::...
STOP THE ART THEFT!
[link]

Show respect, don't steal my stuff get permission first