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]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/10267727/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/10267727/ Tue, 03 Oct 2006 05:24:41 PDT the are inlove with the person i temporarly pretend to be.

]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9996004/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9996004/ Thu, 07 Sep 2006 07:00:10 PDT salvage my soul whats left of me
broken and torn a bloody mess
change, derange, so gone now.
fall forever, fade too fast, sleep slips through my hands
you keep me up with such sad thoughts
adolences fades away.
sick in the morning tired all day
ankles swell so much
drunken days behind me now.
take care of whats inside
take care of me, i know you wont
look what we have created now.
damaged pride, a wounded soul
risked a lot and lost too much.
gained something deep inside
Die, Deny it can't hurt much more then this. ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9880958/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9880958/ Mon, 28 Aug 2006 05:27:38 PDT we played asshole last night (a card game) and i was the asshole i lost like every round and i had to drink when ever i lost or broke a rule... it was my first time playing i broke a lot of rules. I SAW JUSTIN YESTERDAY.... it was the best day ever!!!!!!!!! it was great... i love him so damn much... i dunno how to begin to explain what happened. but it was great!! so i spent half the night with my head in the toliet puking... (eewwww gross) but i woke up with out a hangover i am glad for that... i am sick of partying i always feel like shit after.... but i don't mind going to justins but my sisters house is where we party... shit i hate going over there because u are expected to party.... but anyways. leave some love for me here... ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9853909/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9853909/ Fri, 25 Aug 2006 18:12:12 PDT ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9715712/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9715712/ Sun, 13 Aug 2006 17:00:30 PDT ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9688881/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9688881/ Fri, 11 Aug 2006 09:39:51 PDT My so called friend just got a job with justin and i am pissed... if they get back together or start hanging out i'm going to loose it... HE IS MINE!!!!!!! all i can think of is the song " i am going slightly mad" by queen... I AM GOING SLIGHTLY MAD
i am in an INSANE fit of RAGE.... INSANELY JELOUS i love him. i WANT HIM TO MY SELF.... i love him... i do anything for him i was always there WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? i was the crying shoulder the two am phone call the voice of reason the love when he needs it and the booty call SO BITCH BACK OFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

Silent tears fall from my cheeks
To stifle my broken heart
Silent screams escape to dark damp wall abandoned once again
All out of scotch can’t find the tape
My balance split in two
No more me and no more him
A tear along the seam
Love too much and die too soon
Backstabbing friends unite
Dance alone a thick fool moon
Darkened both our doors
Freedom from me and free from you
No way to play for keeps
A blade in hand to hide the sorrow
Because
Roses were red now my violets are black
How lovely do I look with your knife in my back?
Razor to wrist end it this time
You should have NEVER touched what was MINE! ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9582217/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9582217/ Wed, 02 Aug 2006 22:12:23 PDT
On my knees just love me please
Anything for you

Is that what you then I want it to
Please just love me now
You say you do but I can’t trust
The things being said in the heat of lust
The one that pull me down
Caress your neck and nibble you ear
Just to hear you moan
Things are best where they are
Yet I still reach for your fly
Thing are better left alone
Before it makes me cry
To much for a heart to bare
That it’s tearing at the seem
All out of scotch and out of tape
To fix it once again

On my knees just love me please
Anything for you. ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9491439/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9491439/ Tue, 25 Jul 2006 15:13:58 PDT I’m not surprised that no one is home
Was just calling to break the news
To look a the bomb and still light the fuse
Who knew that a love so wrong
Would make a baby growing strong
Woke up this morning and start to cry
Sick as hell I want to die
Want to tell you but don’t know how
So I live in denial
I know I can hide it for a little while
Used worthless I feel like a whore
Die, deny, and not innocent anymore
Things went from bliss to bad
Me a mom and him a dad
Ignorance and pain, not so smart
To hear a tiny beating heart
Honey I am pregnant will you leave me too
Here all alone to suffer through ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9468709/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9468709/ Sun, 23 Jul 2006 14:11:57 PDT ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9418357/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9418357/ Tue, 18 Jul 2006 16:40:15 PDT

Awake all night tired all day
Nightmares that come to stay…
Wake up avoid the mirror.
Can’t stand what I see.
Nothing but fat
A discussting mess
Need to lose like eight pounds
Work hard
Excersise.
But nothings right with me.
Can’t do it
Need to be thin
I never was the pretty one but I want to be
So I can be a peace
With the mirror and me
I hate it…
Stop eating puking my guts
Tried every trick.
And still gross and sick
Help please
Before I quit. ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9409274/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9409274/ Mon, 17 Jul 2006 19:22:43 PDT My words aren’t coming out right
Want to tell you how I feel
But I’m still not sure.

Love you lots and more then life
But I don’t know how far
Will we go as wife.

Not doubting us. Just more then bestfriends
What does it mean when a kiss is more
going farther a lesbian whore

August is coming up real soon
We’ll be brides who needs a groom
Pagan wedding based on trust
A relationship based more then lust

Missing you so far away
Baby’s coming home to stay
Exicitement comes beyond words

Me and you just the two living together now
We can be happy I show you how.
Working living having so much fun
When our two lives finally be come one.

COFFE LOVES TINK.... THIS IS OUR FUTURE... I LOVE YA GIRL
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER AND EVER BABE.... just a concept... whatever i dunno whats going on sweets we gots ta talk when you get here.... see you soon. wether it be plane train or car.... ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9353936/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9353936/ Wed, 12 Jul 2006 12:06:00 PDT ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9345495/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9345495/ Tue, 11 Jul 2006 16:19:06 PDT
Betrayed you betrayed me
Somethings are better laid to rest
I don’t know why I couldn’t stay away
No reason really to speak
I wish so much for you to understand
That there’s some thing there for me
And empty relationship as tired as tears
Sorry to make you mad
But I can’t leave him with out going back
Forgive my weak mind and state
Sorry that I cave
Giving into desires and wants
Can’t pretend for you.
I know you want the best for me
But best is bitter sad
Run away from you and me
Hiding in his arms
To make and take a broken heart
The pieces glued again
I can run from you and run from him
But can’t out run my self
Sorry I hurt you.
But I can’t hurt myself
More then I already did
I hate when we fight I am sorry again
There so much words can’t say
Can’t take back what I did
Apologize once again…
SORRY SORRY but thing still sad
My fault thing fall to fragments
Dark stories sappy tears
Things that take my time
Take me from you and him from me
Just take it all away.
Forgive my weakness and forgive my flaws
Never made for apologies.
Words are wrong and sorry is stale
Deranged and darkness goes.
Sorry my sweet for silent sobs
That rob you of your sleep.
Can’t take back what’s done so far
Dollar short a day to late
Wonder what its worth
An apology from a child of choice
Well that’s it just a long goodbye,
Goodbye I wish you well
Apologize again
SORRY THAT I FELL ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9315224/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9315224/ Sat, 08 Jul 2006 20:01:01 PDT Pin prick pain and pus…
Hurting me and hurting you
The little things that get me through
Survive life and hell my so called life
Winning it with just a knife
Silenced pain with no sound.
Watch me slowly as I drowned.
Hurting me and hurting you
The little things that get me through.
Memories and wishes. And childlike kisses.
Drag you back to here
No pain nothing for sane. A blaze so high inside
Pretty princess will prettier pills
To make me better now
Little things get me through the day. Pin prick pain and pus
Hurting me and hurting you the little things that get me through
I survive with scissors. ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9315162/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9315162/ Sat, 08 Jul 2006 19:52:26 PDT

Bought you a rose and hundred more.
And wrapped them with love and tears
Ship them to you before the wilt.
And die so quickly gone.
Squeeze the thorns and out come blood
That ties you to the time.
Present day and broken trust
To take my rose to you.
Tear drops and roses from the dust
Building love with perfect trust. ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9315133/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9315133/ Sat, 08 Jul 2006 19:48:47 PDT Alone in bed again
Absent you and lost my mind
Wishing you here again
Stars so pretty you could almost scream
Not right with out you.
How dare then shine when I am so Hurt
Damn them all for you.
Wish you were here. Sorrowful eyes.
Dying once again.
Knotted stomach tightened chest.
Still with out you girl.
Gather here among the tears.
The silence makes no sound
Tired of trying. And trying to quit
Baby I need you here.
Sorry sound of so sad eyes
And tears that hit the ground.
Hold me tight with your mememories.
As my mind slips away
Baby please just stop the rain
Will you still love me when I am sane?

My computer is being dumb and i can't submit but i can use my journal so all the new stuff is going here for now. sorry if its an inconvience. ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9315087/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9315087/ Sat, 08 Jul 2006 19:42:05 PDT Blow it off again to day
Sitting here wait, sometimes debating.
Should I call u?

I thinks it fucked that your gone
And I am alone.
Sitting here of course waiting by the phone
So hard to sit here with out u..
Wondering when your coming back
To the place you use to live.

To the girl you were going to marry
I think its fucked up that I’m still waiting.
Yeah waiting for weeks. No word from you.
I love u you know it s true
But I don’t know how much more
I can take from an absent you.
How much more am I going go through.

I think its fuck up I am still waiting
No longer wait by the phone.
This the last time I let u leave me alone. ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9314374/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9314374/ Sat, 08 Jul 2006 18:07:48 PDT ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9139719/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9139719/ Wed, 21 Jun 2006 16:53:12 PDT
Mood: MYSTICAL
Listening to: love stinks

sorry - Complete Piece
I left you again.
Waiting for my special call.
Waiting to see when I would be home again.
I called to say I wouldn’t be there at all.

You pleaded and cried.
Begging me not to go.
You know that I lied.
I lied again when I said that I had to go.

I hate not being with you.
But I hate standing still.
All that I want is for someone to come too.
Someone to travel with at will.

I feel like a shark.
Never staying long.
One day I’m in a park.
The next I’m long gone.

You try to keep me interested.
Try to make me stay.
So many things tried and tested.
Yet I still do things my way.

I know that I’m only running away.
You don’t have to point it out.
What am I supposed to say?
It’s the only way left to keep people out.

I can’t look in your eyes anymore.
Even your picture makes me feel ashamed.
I lost the reason that I’m doing this for.
Or maybe there are just too many to be named.

I’ll settle one day.
When I find a place to call home.
You may not have much to say.
But it will be the last time that I leave you alone.

THINGS WILL BE BETTER YES TOMORROW STILL DRUNKEN NOW SAD AND SORROW ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9136415/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9136415/ Wed, 21 Jun 2006 11:19:07 PDT
Mood: depressed and dying
Listening to: last train home lostprophets

Walk all over me push me down
Take advantage of me and I stick around
Sick of being stood up
Sick of your lies

Another piece slowly dies
Hated me hated you before
I can’t do this stupid shit no more

Walk on me look who’s left holding the bag
Never seen the knives inside
Sick of pretend friends guess who lied

What is a friend some one who is there
Your not a friend do you fucking care?
Need me need you
A fool to think you’d see it through

You’ll be sorry wait and see
You be sorry you fucked with me.
Mystic forces on my side
Bitch you’ll be sorry you ever lied.

So good bye I wish you well
I’ll be waiting for you in hell

YOU MAKE ME FUCKING SICK THANK SO MUCH I AM GLAD I HAVE SUCH GREAT FRIENDS!!!!! ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9136361/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9136361/ Wed, 21 Jun 2006 11:14:32 PDT
Mood: depressed and dying
Listening to: last train home lostprophets

i am sick of friends that lie to me use and abuse me. the so called friends that i have always been there for blew me off today. today was supose to be a girls day out that make us feel good. i had to work at two thrity and they decieded they didn't want me to go last minute because they didn't want to have to leave and take me home my twelve year old cousin who was in a fuckin wheel chair was told she could go and they let her down too we were planning for a week they left me last minute sitting out side. waiting for them. i told them it was really fucking nice i have too much shit going on and i didn't need theirs i need them and they let me down. my mom doens't care... and my step dad moody. i am leaving. and i have to go to work. i hate my life... well this isn't how i wanted to spend my midsummers eve. what ever people like hurting me its what they do best and i just a fucking door mat. no matter how i try i am still defeated and usless a fat fucking cow that should have never been born.

why do i bother anymore can you tell me beause i don't know any more ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9113068/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9113068/ Mon, 19 Jun 2006 07:36:56 PDT
btw, i like you poetry. you and dani seem to have the same style almost, althought she is more of a rhymer than you are. well i hope you remember me if you need to talk, bye!
ALOUIE!!!!!!
]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9112811/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9112811/ Mon, 19 Jun 2006 06:59:04 PDT ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9059987/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9059987/ Tue, 13 Jun 2006 19:27:58 PDT [link] check her out PLEASE.... for me... naw she gots a lot of good stuff. i love her. lol..... i is tired. but yet i bable on... go figure that one. good night i am going to bed because my are kicking in... to kill the migraine... yay percriptions.... ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9059886/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/9059886/ Tue, 13 Jun 2006 19:16:10 PDT
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone

She said somedays I feel like shit
Somedays I wanna quit and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but your trips always feel so long
And I find myself trying to stay by the phone
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot, working my day around a call
And when I pick up I don't have much to say, so

I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debatin
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

You know, the place where you used to live
Used to barbeque with burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every halloween
with candy by the pile but now
you only stop by every once in a while
Shit
I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine and I'm plannin' to keep it that way
You can call me if you find that you have something to say
And I'll tell you

I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
Telling you that I've had it with you and your career
Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

I want you to know its a little fucked up that
I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debatin'
Tired of sittin and hatin' and making these excuses
For why you're not around, and feeling sorta useless
It seems that one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got till its gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it

Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Where'd you go?
I miss you so
Seems like its been forever that you've been gone
Please Come back home

Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home

TELL ME THAT YOUR ALRIGHT MOTION CITY SOUND TRACK SONG 2
Tell me that you're alright
yeah everything is alright.
oh please tell me that you're alright.
yeah everything is alright.

Give me a reason to end this discussion,
To break with tradition, to fold and divide.
'Cause I hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes,
Talking with strangers, waiting in line.
I'm through with these pills that make me sit still.
Are you feeling fine?
Yes, I feel just fine.

Tell me that you're alright.
yeah everything is alright.
oh please tell me that you're alright.
yeah everything is alright.

I'm sick of the things I do when I'm nervous
Like cleaning the oven or checking my tires Or counting the number of tiles on the ceiling.
Head for the hills, the kitchen's on fire!

I used to rely on self-medication.
I guess I still do that from time to time.
But I'm getting better at fighting the future.
Someday you'll be fine.
Yes, I'll be just fine.

Tell me that you're alright.
yeah everything is alright.
oh please tell me that you're alright.
yeah everything is alright.

Give me a reason
(I don't believe a word)
To end this discussion
(Of anything I heard)
To break with tradition
(They tell me that its not so hard)
to fold and divide
(It's not so hard)
So let's not get carried
(Away with everything)
Away with the process
(From Here to in-between)
of elimination
(The long Goodbyes)
I don't want to waste your time.

Tell me that you're alright.
yeah everything is alright.
oh please tell me that you're alright.
yeah everything is alright.

(Alright)
Tell me that you're alright.
(hi, everything's great)
yeah everything is alright.
(hey, everything's fine)
oh please tell me that you're alright.
(hey, everything's great)
yeah everything is alright.

Hey, everything's fine.<... ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8995850/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8995850/ Wed, 07 Jun 2006 05:04:54 PDT ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8991075/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8991075/ Tue, 06 Jun 2006 16:48:20 PDT ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8979780/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8979780/ Mon, 05 Jun 2006 15:36:00 PDT
the sweet sound of persausive words and candy coated lies. call her to you and she believes.
empty promises decite and lies these are her prayers her lullabies...

so much pain hides inside and yet she still believes broken in all the special places
bleeding at the seams she drowns herself in candy lies as wounds begin to weep.
she surrounds her self with bitter lies and crys her self to sleep...
locked inside a secret hell broken deep insided scarlet misery nothing left but crimson tears death lies her suicide.

white noise and lies unheard practice what you preach
lies and empty words yet she still believes drown yourself in candy lies and cry yourself to sleep..
broken promises and empty words hide inside the lies drug dreams
silent prayers suicide lies her lullabies and yet she stills beieves

`codependency when people play for keeps.

well anyway i am so sick of empty promise. lies and bullshit. because he lies to me makes up something that sounds really good but never goes through with it. rarely he does. i am sick of it. and i sick of people telling me what they think i want to hear. i want to hear. like yeah there is somethings i do want to hear but just don't make promises to me because it sounds good. or you think it will sound good to me. because i am sick of it. NO MORE PRETEND PROMISES!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8814638/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8814638/ Fri, 19 May 2006 08:08:18 PDT ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8796752/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8796752/ Wed, 17 May 2006 09:49:17 PDT ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8638443/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8638443/ Mon, 01 May 2006 06:46:02 PDT ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8395010/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8395010/ Fri, 07 Apr 2006 07:42:26 PDT >>> HELL YES I CAN'T WAIT MERCY HERE WE COME.... lol i am pumped if you competed and lost i am sorry and i wish you luck next year... sorry if i seem insensitive but i thought we lost.AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE WON.................. WOOT WHOA HELLS YES... WE WON HOLY MONKEY PANTS>...

THANK YOU JESUS FOR I KNOW YOU WERE WATCHING....

but then agian we are going up to a catholic school next.
go figure.... lol not that that has anything to do with it.
its not my fault i have "a keen legal mind" "a vocabulary IQ of 137" i am just a legal mind. striving for justice. ]]> ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8350159/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8350159/ Mon, 03 Apr 2006 05:01:39 PDT ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8298268/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8298268/ Tue, 28 Mar 2006 19:03:59 PST ~tears-for-christ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8233610/ http://tears-for-christ.deviantart.com/journal/8233610/ Wed, 22 Mar 2006 05:18:05 PST ~tears-for-christ