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        <title>deviantART: by:tearsofcrimson</title>
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        <pubDate>Sat, 05 Dec 2009 06:55:57 PST</pubDate>        
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                <title>This Girl Shes Breaking</title>
                <link>http://tearsofcrimson.deviantart.com/journal/20167783/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:49:00 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Seriously what the fuck is wrong with me. I'm fucking miserable all the time. Sure I can pretend to be fine. Its been then having everyone going are you ok whats wrong. I hate that. Lets see hmmm what could possibly be wrong. My whole life just keeps getting more and more fucked up. I'm tired of all the bull shit. I need someone to be here. Not when its convenient. Not just when you need or want something. How bout when I need something? Does that even matter? So what if its something that you think is stupid. Life is so much better when I'm not here, when I'm not around this place or these people. I need...something. I'm just not sure what. But what can I really do? Give in and be who they want? Thats just not like me. And I've tried it before, it never works out too well in the end. But I'm just so tired of fighting. I'm so tired of struggling for every little thing. I just want something to be easy for once. Like when I hang out with Jenna. Doing stupid shit like ghost hunting with a bunch of people. Thats just so....easy. I don't have to to try so hard. I can just be me and chill and not worry about everything. You know that was the first night in a long time where I wasn't worried about every little fucking thing going on. I just smiled and laughed and had fun. And it was great. And what does that mean? What does that say about me? I just want it to be easy for once. Just for a little while. I'm tired of fighting everyone for anything. But really theres nothing anyone can do. I tried getting away, Jenna and I went camping that one time. Yet it was all still there. Fuck my parents even came to visit. Nothings ever fucking good enough. Everythings just so hard. I want a break from it all. How do I do that? How do I get things to be easier? Nothing works. Go ahead, tell me it will get better. Tell me I just have to keep trying. You know what? That's all I've heard my whole life and nothings ever gotten better. Some days.....some days I think I should of just let go. It really wouldn't of been that hard to just let the darkness slip in and take me away for good. You know I have these scars on my wrist because I didn't plan on making it far enough to have scars. Maybe I shouldn't of made it this far....<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~tearsofcrimson</author>
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                <title>Rawr!!!</title>
                <link>http://tearsofcrimson.deviantart.com/journal/19275396/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 08 Jul 2008 14:17:34 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ My dummy face dad broke the computer. I'm gonna be off-line for a while. I usualy check everybody whom I'm watching stuff everyday and generaly I comment. Can't for awhile. Sorry Rikki. I miss you girly.<br /><img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /><br /><img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/r/rose.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":rose:" title="Rose" />Christine<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/r/rose.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":rose:" title="Rose" /><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~tearsofcrimson</author>
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                <title>I Missed Writing!!!</title>
                <link>http://tearsofcrimson.deviantart.com/journal/15701834/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:53:46 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Hey all! I just wrote my first poem in about a year I think! Do me a favor, check it out and tell me what ya think!!! Tanky all!! I'm really glad to be back. It feels great to write again!!!!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~tearsofcrimson</author>
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                <title>Dark Abyss</title>
                <link>http://tearsofcrimson.deviantart.com/journal/12092957/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 07 Mar 2007 12:53:38 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Life seems to be a black abyss these days. not a glimmer of light touches my eyes. its a darkness that of a cavern. empty and bleak are my insides. not the faintest of hopes crosses my mind. My eyes are dry, no more tears left to cry. my blood runs black in my veins. i see no colors around me, only that of a cloudy midnight sky, no stars or moon in sight.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~tearsofcrimson</author>
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                <title>HEY!!!!!</title>
                <link>http://tearsofcrimson.deviantart.com/journal/10463793/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 21 Oct 2006 08:42:39 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Hey all!!! I just wanna let you guys know I didn't forget about you!!!! My computer is brokedededededededed!!! I am SO SORRY I haven't been around! If anyone happens to want to get ahold of me you can e-mail me at   equinegirl_15@yahoo.com . I can get to that at the library, just no where else cause everything is freakin blocked. Damn library!!!! <br />
LOVE YOU!!!!<br />
*Christine*<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~tearsofcrimson</author>
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                <title>I tried it out, tell me what you think!</title>
                <link>http://tearsofcrimson.deviantart.com/journal/8563989/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 23 Apr 2006 18:20:18 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Ok so I tried the photography out, sort of. Ha really I just put up pictures that I had taken without the intent of posting anything. Tell me whatcha think anyone who takes a look!!!!!!!<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /><br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/r/rose.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":rose:" title="Rose" /> Christine <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/r/rose.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":rose:" title="Rose" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~tearsofcrimson</author>
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                <title>Me? Photography?</title>
                <link>http://tearsofcrimson.deviantart.com/journal/8094361/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 07 Mar 2006 14:37:09 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I think I'd like to try photography. I'm not sure If I'll be any good at it but I sincerly love it. I suppose I'll try. <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/sadangel.gif" width="88" height="22" alt=":sadangel:" title="Sad Angel" /> Other then that life isn't going to great. My mind is all mixed up. Someone save me ]]></description>
                <author>~tearsofcrimson</author>
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                <title>Back Again!!!</title>
                <link>http://tearsofcrimson.deviantart.com/journal/7909242/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 15 Feb 2006 17:48:22 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Ello all. Its been a long ass time but I'm back!!! I have a new poem I'm getting ready to post and now that I have my camera I am going to work on photography a bit.  I need some inspiration to get writing again. It feels good to be back!!! I missed DA! I'm BACK!!!! ]]></description>
                <author>~tearsofcrimson</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Ick</title>
                <link>http://tearsofcrimson.deviantart.com/journal/5173253/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 24 Apr 2005 04:28:54 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ My head hurts like a bitch. My nose is  runing, my throat hurts, and I feel  like puking my guts up. Yeah not the  best feeling at freakin 7:30 in the  morning. On top of all that ish I  didn't sleep all freakin night.I am  going to go take some medicine or  something. ]]></description>
                <author>~tearsofcrimson</author>
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                <title>Breakthrough</title>
                <link>http://tearsofcrimson.deviantart.com/journal/4632037/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 20 Feb 2005 19:24:40 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Wow. I had a major breakthrough with  myself while talking to my brother. And  you know something? I don't want to  hurt myself. Well yeah I'm pissed at  myself for acting like a phycotic  teenager with my brother but I guess  maby that kind of thing happens when  your getting better. And when your 16.  Being 16 does not help matters. Ok back  to what I was saying. Yeah I finaly  figured out why for no reason at all my  brother erks me. Cause I had it in my  head that he didn't see me. That he  didn't care or even notice that I  existed. He's been my idol since I was  a really little kid. I couldn't tell  you why but probably because he talked  to me so much. I was always telling him  how great he was and I guess I was  probably good support. What happend was  I let it build up inside of me for so  long that I jst went crazy. For all of  this time ( since I was a little kid )  I just pushed it away and let it build.  Then I had a sort of panick attack and  started ranting at my brother. Ha I can  be very crazy.  I hope he reads this so  maby he can understand why I went crazy  because I surely went insaine on him.  Ha I never intended to tell him some of  the things I did. Oh well he would have  eventually found out I just didn't want  to do it that way. Crazyness runs in  the family haha. At least he didn't  call me crazy and leave. Then where  would I be? Probably holed up in my  room with a razor blade. Hmm not fun. I  haven't done that in ummm I think 2  months. I actually had to think about  it! I'm not counting days and minutes  anymore! Yay for me. I really do hope  he reads this and trys to understand  that I am just working my way back to  life and I tend to freak out for no  reason latley. That whole actually  living and dealing with things without  sharp objects is harder than it souds!  Oh well I gotta go cause my dad wants  me to look something up for him. Bye  for now.<br />
P.S. I'm really sorry Jeff! ]]></description>
                <author>~tearsofcrimson</author>
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