Cadillacs & Sunshine

=thatIam — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 07:20:45 PDT

It is going to be a divine afternoon, I'm off to meet Mark at a local car dealership hosting a classic car show & shine. It has been sooooo long since we've seen each other, and I'm virtually positive there will be no nudes shot today, but I'm looking forward to spending some time with my dear, dear friend.

I'll try my hand (I think for the first time really) at shooting some of those wonders of the early years. You'll know soon enough whether I had any luck with it or not

I'd like to also thank you all for the outstanding support you have all continued to show me ... please know that it means so very much

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:thumb49689292:

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LONG CANADIAN WINTERS

I know it's actually summer. I'm really not a big fan of August heat (it's usually so thick with humidity you can hardly breath, hardly move) ... but it honestly feels like winter hasn't left ... this is the coldest August I can Ever remember

And as a result, I've caught a whopper of a cold ... been in bed all weekend, heading back in to work now, though I don't think I'll last through the day ... my head feels like a smashed watermellon.

I had just enough energy to get almost caught up here on dA ... I've reduced my devwatch from 1600 deviations to 200 and cleared my messages entirely ... i was beginning to think that would Never happen

Well, with any luck I'll be able to do an updated Features Journal very soon.

For those of you with sun & warmth - Enjoy ... and please send it our way ... Canadians are freezing up here

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Happy 141st!!!

=thatIam — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 18:02:48 PDT

HAPPY CANADA DAY

It was an incredible day here ... 28 degrees, sun shining, no humidity, and a lovely breeze. I spent the day at the Zoo with my younger two girls ... it was a blast!

So much to do so little time ... so that's it for now. Enjoy a few Canadian Thumbs I found.

Twilight Zone & Features

=thatIam — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 07:22:43 PDT

The Twilight Zone

I spent last Saturday morning in the Twilight Zone. It was somewhat amusing at the time, but nonetheless hair-rasing, here is the story:

I went out about 8 am Saturday morning to do a little shooting ...

I was shooting Don't be fooled and Where the snow still melts beside a little plaza on a busy street, at the foot of a bridge (the location where Toronto's snow removal crews had dumped a great deal of Scarborough's street snow throughout the winter). I had finished up and was walking out of the mucky, "Black Ice Lake" area when I see two cops walking toward me ... *wonders if I was 'trespassing'* ... "Uh, Oh - Am I in trouble?" I say to them with a grin ... this is where I enter the Twilight Zone:

First, I notice that not only are there two of them, there are also two cars ... hmmm *thinks this is a bit strange* I can tell that they're not amused by my attempt at humour (that's Never a good sign). One asks me why I'd think that, and what I'm doing here, but isn't really interested in the answer. Next the question is whether or not that is my Oldsmobile over there ... "yes, why?" "We'll ask the questions." Now I'm really feeling the 'Uh-Oh". Two cops, one male - one female. The male cop asks to see my drivers licence. "Sure, but what's this about?" "Well, let's just go over to the cars and see if we can figure that out." I'm still feeling Very confident as I Know I've done nothing wrong ... and I'm not intimidated by authority, so I obviously appear quite calm & collected to them.
They take my licence and the female cop gets in the car & onto CPIC (Canadian Police Information Centre) while the male cop asks me questions like where I live, where was I born, etc ... when I told him I was born in Ontario he asked "Are you sure?" ... he didn't really show amusement when I said "I can't really remember the event, but that's what my BC says" ... I refused to give up my light-hearted approach to this!
Next he wants to look at my eyes, so I remove my glasses. He asks what colour my eyes are, and is not impressed when I tell him that they change colour but you can generally call them hazel - sometimes they're blue, or green, or grey ... or any blend of those three . Dead pan, he asks "and what exactly makes them change colour?" (Like I'm supposed to know???) I answered that the only person who'd ever really figured that out was my mother, but it's too late to ask her.
Now the third cop, the supervisor shows up ... and people are gathering to see what's going on .... I simply asked "Isn't the third one supposed to bring the Timmies? (that's the coffee) ... no grin, no smirk, no laugh, no smile. Damn, this is a hard crowd!
The supervisor is a bit more willing to see the humour in this situation with me, and at least Finally tells me what's going on .... are you ready?

Well, Teresa ... it seems that in CPIC there is an attachment to your plate with cross reference to your previous address, that seems to indicate that you are Wanted for Armed Robbery. ..... de ne ne ne de ne ne ne .... I'm in Now .... at least he saw the humour when I asked where Rod was hiding

4 - 6 more weeks !!!!

=thatIam — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 04:16:09 PDT

I've seen long winters in my time but this is getting ridiculous!!

Yesterday morning I woke to yet another layer of newly fallen snow!
When will it Ever end ??
The news reports 4-6 more weeks of 'intermittent winter weather' .... that means we could continue having snow until April
I need to see green buds ... flowers bravely poking their tender green leaves through the barely thawed soil ... I need sunshine and spring ... I've had a great deal of challenge over the past few months. My resolve to remain hopeful & positive has been tested without end ... but I think all the damned cards have been picked up, shuffled and are all now back in the pile ... but warmth & sunshine would help restore my soul.

Update on the manip of "You're a mean one" ... dA admin has removed it and today I finally got a response from the theif - she was sorry that I saw it ... she never meant to expose it to anyone who would recognize it ???? some people will Never understand!

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I've seen long winters in my time but this is getting ridiculous!!

There's only a few days to go until Spring is officially here ... but you would Never know it ... the snow bank outside my door is still over 5 feet high. Don't get me wrong, I really love winter, and the snow & cold ... but in the city it can become so ugly & depressing as within hours of a snowfall most of the crisp white snow has been covered with layers of black & gray soot from the traffic ... what's left turns to greyish brown slushy muck that must be trodded through to get anywhere

I'll admit it has been melting ... but everywhere you look is still like this

that happens to be some of the cleaner snow

A side note of frustration:

I visited this account as she'd fav'd an image ... and took a look in her very small gallery - only to find one of my images [link] manipulated and posted as her own ... with her name on it, not even a reference ... I'm not sure how long the copyright policy violation team takes to take action, but i've left her a few comments and she hasn't even had the courtesy of responding

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...

Whole again ...

=thatIam — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 19:02:16 PST

... Well Almost

I am busy in the process of removing work, friends & favourites from
I might have bit off more than I can chew here ... but I'll just plug away (and away, and away)

So I'm hoping that this journal might catch the eye of my friends from *relativecosmicmusing

... if it does ...

Please don't feel the need to thank me for the add ... I already Love you

for the rest of my wonderful *thatIam friends ... Thank you

and

just ignore this little blurp

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Proud to be Canadian

An Australian Definition of a Canadian -
Written by an Australian Dentist

***UPDATE: this is an apparent e-rumour ... but i like it anyway
the original essay can be found here: [link]
and background on the author (questionable i assure you!) [link]eter_J._Ferrara

You probably missed it in the local news, but there was a report that someone in Pakistan had advertised in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed a Canadian - any Canadian.

An Australian dentist wrote the following editorial to help define what a Canadian is, so they would know one when they found one.

A Canadian can be English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. A Canadian can be Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, Arab, Pakistani or Afghan.

A Canadian may also be a Cree, MÃ©tis, Mohawk, Blackfoot, Sioux, or one of the many other tribes known as native Canadians.

A Canadian's religious beliefs range from Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu or none.

In fact, there are more Muslims in Canada than in Afghanistan.

The key difference is that in Canada they are free to worship as each of them chooses.

Whether they have a religion or no religion, each Canadian ultimately answers only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

A Canadian lives in one of the most prosperous lands in the history of the world.

The root of that prosperity can be found in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms which recognize the right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.

A Canadian is generous and Canadians have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return.

Canadians welcome the best of everything, the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services and the best minds.

But they also welcome the least - the oppressed, the outcast and the rejected.

These are the people who built Canada.

You can try to kill a Canadian if you must, as other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world have tried, but in doing so you could just be killing a relative, or a neighbour.

This is because Canadians are not a particular people from a particular place.

They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom.

Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, can be a Canadian.

Please keep this going! Pass this around the World. Then pass it around again.

This says it all, for all of us!

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Thanking & Changes

=thatIam — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 08:31:32 PST

W A R N I N G

This Gallery Contains Mature Content. If Nudity Offends You
please enable your Mature Content Filter or use your back button to exit
Thank you

A Note on Thanking All of You
for All the support & favourites:

It can certainly be a bit overwhelming to leave dA for a day or two & come back to an inbox that's overflowing ... and my time is at a premium right now ... so let me just say a Huge thank you to you All

To save a bit of time I've decided not to thank those who's dA accounts seem to be for viewing art only, never leave a comment, and fav in bulk. I appologize if this is being presumptuous, but it leaves me feeling that it's Not really the Art being appreciated.

Now .... About the changes

Now that deviantart has implemented these two wonderful new tools: Gallery Folders & a multi-level mature content filter, it is time for me to truly (once again) be All that I am.

I will be moving my poetry back here (though it will take a bit of time) and I will be posting all of my photography here now.

The one part of this newly merged gallery that continues to puzzle me a bit, is what I will leave in the 'featured' area ... so once I am ready to close I will reduce it greatly & leave people to peruse the folders as they wish.

Lastly

I hope that everyone is starting this wonderful new year off on the right foot ...
ah, what the hell - the left foot works too

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So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
Ans so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear
And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong
And so happy Christmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Let's stop all the fight
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear
And so this is Christmas
And what have we done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
Ans so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear
War is over over
If you want it
War is over
Now...

John Lennon

Recent events have had me thinking about other Visionaries whose lives were snuffed out by radicals/extremists who fear the positive changes these amazing human beings were bringing to this world.

Let me also add a wee apology here ... I've been so wrapped up in the mess sometimes known as life that I haven't had any small moments of time for all of you, my wonderful & dear dA friends. Suffice it to say that I am now absolutely poor ... but only in financial terms ... I spent many weeks trying to figure out how it all happened (& why) but in the end it is done and I have no fear that that part of my life will come back together ... because in every other way I am rich beyond my wildest dreams

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just because i wanted to update ... but really love these quotes...

and becuase I still have so much catching to do with deviations I don't really have time for journal writing at the moment

What is the role of 'Nude' in Art?
-according to the Metropolitan Museum of Art (online):
The nude is classic, timeless, elemental, primal, and universal. Because we are all creatures of our own nakedness, it is the subject of ultimate empathy. And yet in the hands of an artist, that fleeting, imperfect, and fragile package that carries all of our souls gains a noble immortality and perfection that transcends its mere physicality.

And some wonderful Quotes for contemplation:

Beauty is form contemplated without desire.
(Eoin de Leastar)

There is no art without contemplation.
(Robert Henri)

Realism and Naturalism rely mostly on the eye of the flesh. Abstract, conceptual and surrealistic art rely mostly on the eye of the mind. Great works of art rely on the eye of contemplation, the eye of the spirit.
(Alex Grey)

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.
(William Wordsworth)

Creativity is dynamic, it asserts life, frees the human spirit, conquers mental lassitude and illness, and makes real the outrageous potential of the universal imagination.
(Robert Genn)

Life is raw material. We are artisans. We can sculpt our existence into something beautiful, or debase it into ugliness. It's in our hands.
(Cathy Better)

A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament.
(Oscar Wilde)

Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind.
(Leonardo da Vinci)

A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.
(Michelangelo)

Images also help me find and realise ideas. I look at hundreds of very different, contrasting images and I pinch details from them, rather like people who eat from other peopleÂs plates.
(Francis Bacon)

The pain passes, the beauty remains.
(Pierre-Auguste Renoir)

I do not literally paint that table, but the emotion it produces upon me.
(Henri Matisse)

The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.
(Pablo Picasso)

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead.. his eyes are closed.
(Albert Einstein)

True art takes note not merely of form but also of what lies behind.
(Mahatma Gandhi)

Art is contemplation. It is the pleasure of the mind which searches into nature and which there divines the spirit of which Nature herself is animated.
(Auguste Rodin)

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Here, a serious series in two images.

The discussion begins with the concept of deviantART itself. This is what originally drew me to the site, these words from dA Policy: deviantART is an expansive, worldwide community of artists of every age, and every nationality who create works spanning every medium, every subject and every level of talent and skill.

Originally, I joined dA to share my poetry ... and still do through my other account. Though I soon found my life merging with some of the outstanding Art I was uncovering here and the path of self-exploration my life was taking me on began to include expression through Artistic Nude Photography. Of late I've found more and more commentary to be unworthy of this venue.
Now, in addition to that I have heard from more than a few of my dear dA friends that commentary on their posted Artistic Nudes almost always includes unnecessary content, in particular, sexist comments.

While I am the first to say that the artist and model should Never take personally any remarks about their work - because the viewer's interpretation is completely outside their control, let's consider 'context'.

I return to the fact that this 'venue' is appropriate for Art ... and Artistic interpretation and commentary of that Art. The venue must be the 'context'!

This is Not MySpace; This is Not a dating site; PERIOD - end of point!

So let's add some other elements to the discussion:

What defines Art as Art?

-according to Princeton University: the products of human creativity
-according to the American Heritage Dictionary: any of various creative forms of expression
-according to the Online Etymology Dictionary: Greek: arti "just" & artios "complete"// Armenian: arnam "make"// German: art "manner, mode"
Also: Fine arts: "those which appeal to the mind and the imagination" first recorded 1767
What does Critique really mean?

-according to the American Heritage Dictionary: A critical review or commentary, especially one dealing with works of art or literature.
-according to the Online Etymology Dictionary: Origin: 1575Â85 - from: Latin: criticus//Greek: kritikÃ³s skilled in judging (adj.). (n.), equiv. to Greek: krt(Ã©s) judge, umpire & (kr(nein) to separate, decide

What are dA's policies on commentary?

specifically it reads: Prohibited commentary is typically considered to be inherently disrespectful, aggressive, or otherwise abusive.

We must insist that you refrain from comments which are racist, bigoted, or which otherwise offensively target a philosophy or religion. In addition we ask that our members avoid making offensive remarks based on gender or sexual preference and that you do not make any remark, comment or critique which is intended to be a direct insult to an individual, group, or genre of artwork. Hate propaganda is met with zero tolerance. Comments which are overly aggressive, personally insulting or needlessly abusive are also prohibited.

although i prefer the clarity included in the section relating to Forums, and certainly believe it applies to all commentary as well. It reads: We encourage interactivity and we allow comments to be either positive or negative in nature providing that they remain constructive and promote a worthwhile dialogue. We insist that forum threads adhere to the same standard set forth for deviation, scrapbook, and writing submissions in terms of what is considered acceptable subject matter (i.e. no racist threads, no sexual discussions, etc).
It is important to remember to be as clear in your intent as possible while communicating on the intern...

BAH!!!!

=thatIam — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 05:07:03 PDT

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Ok there's yet another game of tag going on (is there ever Not??) So having been hit by the adorable Andrew, I begrudgingly agreed to play along ... since it has been ages since I've done so, and never on this account. So here we go...

1. Post these rules.
2. Each person tagged must post 8 random (hopefully interesting) facts about themselves.
3. Tags should write a journal of these facts.
4. At the end of the post 8 more Deviants are tagged and named.
5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them that they're tagged.

1) I have had the amazing companionship of 11 cats so far during my lifetime. Currently two (Jack & Charlie) are still with us on this earth.
2) If I hadn't developed a hiatus hernia, I would still be smoking pot - everyday, and mostly in lieu of tobacco ... I miss it Greatly ... it saved my life during very Very tumultuous teenage years as it opened channels to other dimensions, swelled my creative interests ... and allowed me to ace (100+%) on 5 out of 7 of my Final highschool exams: and 'they' say it fries your brain!!!
3) I have not eaten meat of anykind for more than 30 years.
4) I do not 'Love' easily ... but when I do, those that have captured my heart bring tears to my eyes (often!!) ... just in thinking about them - most particularly my three girls ... but two of you who will likely be reading this (or at least, eventually reading it ) can do the same
5) I have been writing poetry for more than 25 years I've used more than 3/4 of a million words to create rhyme, meter and imagery in over 5000 'oems' (half of my closet is taken up with my Many Many notebooks )
6) I have a school report card from kindergarten on which my teacher expressed her concerns about my life goals: "Teresa refuses to take the question of what she wants to be when she grows up seriously, whenever she is asked her reply is always the same "Black". We would appreciate your assistance in monitoring this situation" ... ... that's one I'll Never throw out!!
7) I Detest (really, Really - Hate!) Shopping ... stores are 'war zones' ... and Never would you find me in a mall!!!
8) I am Incredibly shy ... I've just learnt to deal with it

Those not so fortunate souls I tag:

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Strange how time seems to visit us forward, then backs us into older corners of our minds ... with such intensity it feels real, only to hurl us towards the future yet again .... ???? ...
maybe it's just me!

A couple of weeks ago I drove to Montreal ... a few days away from the regular grind, quick visitis with old friends ... and of course the amazing opportunity to meet two beautiful people:
and
(Yes, we did shoot together ... it was fantastic! Images will appear ... well, when they appear )

The last time I was in Montreal (a town in which I had lived for 4 years with my family when I was a kid) was almost four years ago ... another 'get-away from the grind' trip, but it was taken with my Mom, who was as much in need of it as I was ... only I didn't know at the time how much pain she was already in, how deeply invasive the cancer that I was yet unaware of, had already become.
As I crossed the bridge over the river to Montreal it started ... a flow of tears like I'd never experienced ... Loss ... facing it, dealing with it, accepting it - it really is a long, slow process. You think you've got yourself under control, and then it hits: deeper, harder than before.

I have often felt like I had so few opportunities to spend time with my Mom ... just Mother and daughter ... my father & my two brothers always seemed to have more pressing matters ... so that trip was special, it was Our time. On the sunday morning before I was to meet with Rachel and Eric, I sat watching the sunrise over the St. Lawrence River in the beautiful little town of St. Anne de Beaupre ... where my Mom & I had stayed ... time sucked me back into those mornings sitting right there having breakfast with her ... I didn't want to let it go ... but it was ripped away from me ... like she was two years ago ... and the opportunity is Forever gone.

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HOLY FRUSTRASTIONS BATMAN!!!

I am sure I am not the only one whose frustrations are rising to the point of net-rage.
My time is severely divided amongst many, Many things in my life - namely my three lively, busy daughters ... so my time for dA has always come in tiny pieces. I get 10-15 minutes here & there & sometimes, if I'm not too tired, I stay up past my bedtime ... to try to get a solid hour or so to view dev's & comment ... and generally try to catch up (a game I now know I'll Never win )

So here's what's been happening in the past couple of weeks: I start browsing through my devwatch, commenting on two or three images, flip to my comments to reply to one or two and then that's it ... all dA Hell breaks loose. Firstly I continuously get the little error message that my comment can't go thru right now to try later - it doesn't matter how much later, it won't go thru ... I've tried sending people notes - it times out. I've tried replying to comments & suddenly all my comments & stats are 0 ... gone, notta ... Nowhere to be found
AAaarrrggggggghhh!!!!

This morning is the first time in over a week that 'update journal' would open for me & not time out ... I am Seriously going to some dA butt pretty soon! (what precisely am I paying for here guys??) ... I haven't even been able to send a message to the help desk ... it would just time out

OK ... enough of the ranting & raving ... and on to the Good News

I am taking a little drive to Montreal this coming weekend
(for those non-north americans ... Montreal is actually one of the really close places you can go from Toronto ... it's only about a 6 hour drive )

I am really ... Really looking forward to getting away for a few days!!

Oh & btw I'm going there to meet up with the beautiful and the amazing for a shoot

.... hoping some wonderful images come out of that ... I'm sure in the not too too distant future there will be some posted in all of our galleries!

So, my friends ... I'm sorry for again falling soooooooo very far behind: but
DAmn dA made me do it !!!

footnotes:
is finally beginning to recover
and my cousin is clearly on the road to recovery as well ... I'm not sure when he'll be out of the hospital (he's been moved to another). His heart is growing stronger, but his kid...

Happy & Sad

=thatIam — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 07:40:16 PDT

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Both my inbox & devwatch are Empty!!!
I just need to enjoy this moment feeling caught up
it was a pleasure to spend a few hours this morning soaking up all the creativity from all of you!

My appologies to `scottjamesprebble ... you got the brunt of it today ... but as promised I made it through ... and loved every minute of it.

Note on the business venture - It's Off ... I was seriously interested, but not crazy ... when people up their price & start playing games with the structure of the deal just because they think you Really want something - well that just pisses me off!

Another time, another day, another place ... No Worries!

Wishing my dearest the speediest of recoveries ... I miss him

Lastly, on a very sad note ...
I ask for help in building up & sending positive energy to one of my best friends, and my cousin JW. Two weeks ago this young (only 32) very healthy man said he wasn't feeling well ... I don't Ever remember him not being well. 6 days ago he started vomitting & became delirious ... hours later he was in the hospital ... being sluffed off by Stupid nurses who thought he was drunk & didn't like the look of his shaved head '666' tattoo & his body filled with tattoos. One hour later he crashed. Over the 72 hours that followed his kidney's failed, he developed pneumonia, one lung collapsed the other filled with bloody fluid, his stomage hemoraged internally, his brain started swelling & he had 3 cardiac arrests ... he lay lifeless on a hospital bed - now with the Full Attention of all those 'Stupid' nurses ... with tubes coming & going all over his body. His heart rate wouldn't go over 57 his blood pressure wouldn't climb above 40. Dialisis has brought his creatinin levels closer to normal from the deadly levels they were at. The doctors had/have no idea what caused this ... and did not have a positive prognosis at all. But he is one strong boy! Yesterday they began bringing him out of the drug induced coma & he is breathing on his own ... I was elated! ... but it will be a very long road to recovery with many hurdles to come.

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...

things that billow ...

=thatIam — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 07:51:35 PDT

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Namely: Smoking Burnouts & Canadian Flags!

I must admit that while I am almost always happy taking things one day at a time and loving life, I do love these moments when Everything is coming up roses. I am so excited about an upcoming business venture, thrilled to have spent what seems like an abundance of time with the beautiful and looking forward with enthusiasm to a mini-vacation next week.

Yesterday I was able to find time to join Mark & his wife at the Oddball Kustoms Open House. For a first time show there was a very respectable turn out, the weather was beautiful, the cars as always were a joy - especially a few nice Chevy's: a damn cool flat black 65 impala and a clean 59 El Camino topped my list. The burnouts were quite a sight: you'll have to check out 's page over the next week or so to see the shots.

At 7 this morning Mark & I headed down to Bluffers Park here in Scarborough (a really lovely spot on Lake Ontario) for a photo shoot. We found a great spot on the rocks by the water and didn't have too many visitors except for some poor guy who was obviously truly lost: he was paddling around the lake on a surf board. Where he thought he'd surf is beyond me!

So there should be some images from this shoot coming soon to both of our galleries - first is likely to be one of our "I Am Canadian" shots for Canada Day.

Now, I'm heading out to another Car Show with my youngest who was more than a bit dissappointed not to have been invited along yesterday .... ahhhh .... more drooling over that which I was about to buy but now cannot. Oh yeah ... I had just last week been thinking it was time to buy myself another nice Classic ride, but then fell into this business opportunity. Hope you all will keep your fingers crossed for me ... because if all goes as planned, by August I will be the very proud owner of a cool little video store that's been in business for 26 years, is in a fabulous location and has a very loyal clientelle

Lastly, let me again appologize for my lack of time here on dA.
Some of you know that I've been slowly, but surely getting to your galleries and will continue to work away at it ... my appologies as well if I've failed to thank anyone for their kind words or fav's ... know that you are all loved & appreciated! It is a one step forward, two steps back proposition with my devwatch as you are all incredibly prolific ... Mr. Prebble in particular, whose gallery I have not gotten to in well over a month (but you know I love you Scott ... and I wish I had a laptop to take to the lake next week because the wine & bubbles would be perfect there in the jacuzzi looking out over the water)

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SOMETIMES
the spinning slows enough
even if momentarily
as to let me catch my breath
and open my eyes wider
sometimes
the pulsing eases
and undulates its rythmic tempo
while I focus
outside my ordinary vision
sometimes
the tangled weaving falls
into open strands
upon my chilled fingertips
still dripping with past tears
sometimes
the darkness lifts
enough to allow
one ray of hope to light upon
this tiny pooling of pain
as to allow a prism
to refract the confusion
sometimes
perfection eludes itself enough
to fill my heart entirely
perfectly
satiated

on my To Do List

Give Mark another
Self-shoot for s The RESPECT Project [link]
04.04.06 Shoot with 2 Art Students at Sheriden College - theme poetic contortion olympics ??? hope I don't get stuck
04.05.2006 Shoot with Charles Bodi at The Brickworks here in Toronto .... can't wait ... & Mark's coming with me to chaperon
Self-Shoot for s PornFighters Project [link] ... I just think it's Cool!
Mark again ... and again!
learn ps asap ... so mark doesn't have to do it all himself
Way WAY too much writing .... 7 full length articles and about 15 miscellaneous smaller projects due before the end of April ...
Want to shoot some pinup in Mark's living room ... he has an awesome antique gas pump
and April is NaPoMo (National Poetry Month) ... poets attempt to write a poem a day for the entire month - I did it last year ... and will attempt it again this year ... my poetry can be found at *relativecosmicmusing
... and...

wow ... taken aback

=thatIam — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 10:54:37 PDT

W A R N I N G

If you have come to this page unknowingly or accidentally PLEASE use your back button to exit Thank you

Love - Life - Laughter continue to amaze, astound & (sometimes) aggravate me!
________________________________________ __________________
UPDATE II
Looks like this might be what got him banned:
"All Models Are 10 Years Of Age Or Older "
Quote from some of his image descriptions
What a Bloody A**hole ... no wonder he wanted to 'censor' his audience!
________________________________________ _________________
UPDATE
Ok then ... well, i was just going to take one more look through buddy's gallery to see if i could find an 'offending' comment ... when I find he's been banned! maybe it wasn't just me .... that also means I can share (for those who's curiousity was clawing at them ) who the dumb deviant was ... ... wish I knew what he was banned for
________________________________________ __________________

I am totally dumbfounded by the note i just received ... we'll leave names out of this ... but the content really threw me!
Here's the content of the note:
Stop! I have not invited you to my gallery, I do not want you looking at my photso. I do not like or want your stupid words.
Fuck OFF!

I have never, honestly never left a rude or disrespectful comment on anyone's art .... at least I certainly don't think I have and I've never intended to offend anyone. I will admit their are some friends who I jest with (Mark in particular ya sweetie!) though other than that I only try to share what I find admirable, beautiful, remarkable in the work I comment on ... and I try to express how it makes me feel.
So please ... if I have ever crossed the line ... Please let me know!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
(man, that makes me Sing!!!)

A new group created to foster & encourage respect for Nude Models & Nude Art.
They have a contest running [link] ... so take a look at it ladies & gentlemen

Although 's awesome Century of Skin Contest has been put on hold for now ... it only means more time to dream up ideas & shoot, shoot, shoot!

From the last shoot with at the Guild Inn in Scarborough

excitement mounts

=thatIam — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 12:39:19 PDT

W A R N I N G

If you have come to this page unknowingly or accidentally PLEASE use your back button to exit Thank you

Honestly, I really think I have too many things on my plate this time ... but I love the excitement of so many looooooming deadlines!

Love - Life - Laughter continue to amaze, astound & (sometimes) aggravate me!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
(man, that makes me Sing!!!)

A new group created to foster & encourage respect for Nude Models & Nude Art.

They have a contest running [link] ... so take a look at it ladies & gentlemen

Then there is also 's awesome Century of Skin Contest - although it's been put on hold for now ... that only means more time to dream up ideas & shoot, shoot, shoot!

From the last shoot with at the Guild Inn in Scarborough

My Poetry

Support & Stamps

Love & Support

... landing ...

=thatIam — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 18:18:36 PDT

W A R N I N G
This Gallery Contains Mature Content Art
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PLEASE
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Thank you

softly

slowing spring splashes sunshine
abundantly ... hopefully
delivering reminders
of worth
and wellbeing

always on the horizon
shines the early light
of a new day.

and I finally had a morning together ... in the beautiful sunshine! It was a balmy 0 degrees celcius - perfect for sunbathing naked on concrete.
Here's the first image from the shoot, it was an incredibly sunny morning & coupled with my White skin is making processing an adventure. There will be a few more images in the near future (including the 'sun bathing' one)

Mark is such a beautiful, wonderful friend ... I can't begin to put into words how welcoming, how encouraging ... how loving he is. Although our friendship is in fact just new, somehow he managed to evade my usual distancing & reservations about people and jumped right into my heart. It is with ease and with honesty that I can say - I love you Mark ... there is a connection that to us needs no explanation.

Another note of brightness comes in the form of another new connection ... still very new, and i will shelter my heart cautiously ... but the promise of love is in the air. If nothing else, I have a new friend and I'm really enjoying his company ... so time will tell.

These words ... though many might not understand ... explain how I feel around *marpo3

Novelty nears perfection, as rays
like sunshine modestly steal glances.
Pure connection compels our chances
though silent bitter earth weighs
architecturally akin to madness.

Holdings internal, eternal
(promises as spring to grow)

Flashing affectionate textures,
dares laughter so it recoils.
Assertion refuses spoils
and so hopefulness captures
audaciously naked lacking sadness.

Riches inside, undying
(swears as winter to remain)

My Poetry

Support & Stamps

...

... falling ...

=thatIam — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 10:07:35 PST

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PLEASE
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Thank you

Nothing else to say at the moment, except ...

Beyond me

At times Im flying,
At times Im falling,
Why dont I see?
It is beyond me,
Above, below me,
Blown by the wind,
My heart is free
To do the choosing,
To do the crying,
Alone, I fear
Love is beyond me,
Long gone, denied me,
Bound by the past,
I hold too dear.
Sometimes Im laughing,
Sometimes Im wishing,
That I could feel
Loves not beyond me,
Slighted or wronged me,
Chosen by fate,
It could be real.
Why am I falling,
Why am I flying
Into despair?
You are beyond me,
So wounded by me,
That cannot change,
Or become fair.

My Poetry

cool contest ...

=thatIam — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 09:30:55 PST

W A R N I N G
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Thank you

Firstly ...
News Update ... has a wonderful contest
The Good Girls contest
visit [link] for details
More fabulous entries are needed ... get shooting Girls ! ! !

I wish I could tell you that the fabulous *marpo3 and I had found more time for a second shoot ... but I cannot. I know we will find the time soon ... thank god he's such a wonderful & patient man.

These are a few of the images that came out of our first shoot at the old Guild Inn property here in Scarborough. We started with some shots for `scottjamesprebble's 'ripp:jeans' competition [link] (now closed)

Then, between dog walkers we snuck in a very quick shoot at this fabulous gate ...

It truly was a great pleasure shooting with Mark and I can't wait for more .... yes, I'll bring my walker & we'll take your ride (I like your heated seats )

Happy 141st!!!

Twilight Zone & Features

4 - 6 more weeks !!!!

Whole again ...

Thanking & Changes

BAH!!!!

Happy & Sad

things that billow ...

wow ... taken aback

excitement mounts

... landing ...

... falling ...

cool contest ...

deviantART: by:thatIam

Summer snuck up on me ... I hope it lasts

WOW ... where did I go?

Surprises ...

Cadillacs & Sunshine