http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:theVirginMary&section=today deviantART RSS for by:theVirginMary en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 08:16:53 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/17882048/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/17882048/ Wed, 16 Apr 2008 14:40:15 PDT
Now that we are all preparing for exams and work term, and everything seems to be ending so quickly and slowly at the same time.. this is it, monday exams tuesday exams, work term and then i aint gotta go home, but i gotta get the hell outta there, Lol. SO now im searching around the net for a place to land. I need a apartment close to the hospital in Yarmouth and i need it in around 6 weeks time. :S. Bridgette's moving in with me, I didnt think it would be a huge deal because we spend like all day everyday together anyways, but in away it was kind of a breakthrough for me, yeah. it was.

SO sunday morning i woke up early and laid on my friends couch (which is my safe haven on all local late night adventures seeing as how she is my slowly reforming partner in crime), only to listen to the raindrops tapping on the pavement outside, i was so hoping for sun.. i didnt get up til early in the afternoon when it did finally become a gorgous day and i jumped in the car with Bee and Ree and we headed out for a drive. we ended up on a dirt road that went from damn to damn. we stopped at all the damns, climbing across and just spending time looking at the water, strollin around all the little dirt paths off, we found lots of drift wood, and a perfect fishing spot where we had a little fire, we didnt realize how fast time went by, we actually spent the whole day out hikin around strange woods, Lol, it was fantastic to enjoy the warm weather and get back to nature like that. everywhere we went we heard the strangest animal call, and it was like coming closer, and then it would like take off running but even though you could hear its feet you couldnt see anything, it was pretty crazy. A couple days before that me bee and ree all got into a friends truck and decided to go pittin but the pits just seemed like a tease so he ddecided to go off roading so we headed up on the highway and he pulled off onto this fourwheel path and we were like dude this is not meant for trucks but he seemed pretty confident so he just kept going, it was pretty intense, we almost lost it a couple times, but he was a really talented driver, bee had a little panic attack in the back seat so we cant take her anymore, Lol, but it was a lot of fun.

I have been spending all the possible time i can in the sun though, me and shannon actually went flying kites last week. it sounds so corny or juvenile or something but it was actually a lot of fun, and chuckie brought his little girl teyanna down to watch, so it was really cute. We were gonna go camping last night but we spent the day in the city and it was kinda a long one, so sometimes its nice just to curl up early and enjoy waking up before noon, Lol. well, i started packing this morning so i gotta get that done, and study and do homework and all that good thing, although im sure ill probably procrastinate atleast another half hour Lol. Peace*

]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/17416944/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/17416944/ Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:06:33 PDT Peace*

]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/16742431/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/16742431/ Tue, 05 Feb 2008 16:52:42 PST
]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/7406645/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/7406645/ Sat, 24 Dec 2005 19:12:18 PST
Well i lived a full day, not really, the whole thing is kinda scraped, but how much can you really do anymore? i went to wrok first thing in the morning, worked til after summer, cleaned the house and people started arriving. I both love and hate the people here, love some hate some, and its so weird that we are all in the same room, and those i love love those i hate, and theres so many mixed feelings, spiderwebs linking heart to heart, that eventually hook everyone in the room together, no matter how you feel about these people. and its the holidays, so you're basically not allowed to hate, which really, there are no laws on emotion, emotion being the only thing left with no laws sso im counting my days and taking full advantage, but also, im thinking, one day a year, which may mean nothing to me, but could be someone elses world, and one rude comment i make can go right off my shoulder, anmd i can forget i even said it the moment it leaves my lips can bother a person for aslong as they choose to dwell on it, because as far as ive learned people choose some funny things to dwell on, because we always need something to think about, something to bug us, its comforting, and lonely without it

the reason i hesitate to mention boys in my journal is because as soon as i do, everything fucks up, once again i proved that point, so now, the new guy is no more, i think we're still friends but other than a message on my myspace, i havent talked to him since, although im hoping we're still friends, he's an amazing guy regardless..

well, i got a new digital cam for xmas (thank fucking god) and now people are playing with that so im pretty sure im getting kicked off in a couple of seconds.

by the way i have a new obsession, Hey There Delilah by the PLain White T's.. awesome song, I cant get enough of it, im not even sure why, just something about it. im listening to it right now as i write, well not right now, because the song ended and i havent stopped long enopugh to put it back on, but you get the point, and i almost know all the words, and i just started listening to it yesterday, and im slow, Lol

well, i seen Mikey's new puppy tonight, LOVE HIM, he's soooooo cute, almost as much as mikey, not quite (all he needs is the accent thats clearly what does it) Lol, instead of Ryder he named himTyson, Cute, but i guess they're hooking up the cam, kicking me off, Lol

well, MERRY FREAKIN XMAS MOTHER-wigga shut yo mouth!
]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/7355042/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/7355042/ Mon, 19 Dec 2005 13:49:17 PST
so last week was kind of a rough one. I dont know, i think things just started getting to me. Mom and dad are fighting real bad again, it sucks. On top of it all, my grades arent doing so good, ive got canadian history riding my ass so bad i dont have time for any other subjects, and i havent stayed awake for a whole math class yet! (Lol) probably my fault because im always up late talking to *secret* (Lol, i know, i know, another one) and even though i say this everytime, this one's IS different, Lol, actually lets steer away from assumptions, and classifications, o well, he's a good time right now, someone to talk to while the guy im "seeing" is fucking around on me, screw him! Lol. well, my ex got back with his ex, which i thought was really funny cause you know how when a person is with you and the only thing they can tell you about their previous gf/wives is aweful horrible things she did and put them through and how glad they are to be away from that. and he told me so much about her, alot of really aweful things and how he was only with her because he felt he had no place else to turn, and of course there were the kids.. but anyways he's with her and i know whats going through his head, and he knows what he's really feeling, i know what he's really feeling, she doesnt, but im not going to be the one to bring it up, i dont want to be with him anymore, so its up to him to seperate himself from her, or maybe he was exagerating when telling me the stories and he really does want her, or mayube he's just got some built up sexaul frustration..Lol

well, anyways this new one isnt so new, we've been friends for two years now, i used to like him, but i never really said anything, besides its long distance, and long distance doesnt really have a good track record, so we're just friends or whatever, but he's really fun to talk to, and we've got alot in common, so we can takl about it all, i dont know, he just makes me feel alittle reassured about myself in a way.. its cool beans.

My friends apartment is being watched now, its kinda scary, everyone who came out of it on saturday night got stopped on the way home, coincidence? i dont think so...

so im still partying, but im going to work on cutting it down a bit, it costs a shit load and its getting old...

guess thats it for now, sad really, Lol. ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/7135278/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/7135278/ Thu, 24 Nov 2005 18:36:11 PST , im not a real appearance focused girl or anything, but i go for the people, not always the product. They're really great people.

I was feeling pretty sick today but i had to go to school because i had a huge math project due worth 20% of my yearlong mark, OUCH. Math is not my strong suit- but i went and as it turns out, she only wanted our write up today, my partner could have handed that in, and here it was last class, killing myself all day and i didnt even have to be there, !

so, i got some papers today from one of the teacher's at our school Mrs.Munroe (who isnt even my teacher), who had heard about some trouble i've been having with a guy who used to go to our school. well, see, things werent so bad while he was in high school, like i knew he liked me, he would get really mad if he knew i went out with another guy, or just kissed another guy, even though i dont go out with him, but it was just annoying nothing really serious. well, lately he's been getting worse, much worse actually. He says that he is now "in control" of my life, and that he's going to make it a living hell for me.

My sister found the messages and started talking back to him, saying that my life was none of his bussiness, and that i just didnt want to be with him, but he threatened to kill her!! like, it was really retarded, so it was really getting out of control. Then he came to see me at work and said "sorry" like that was going to make up for everything he has said (so much more than i can mention) to me and my sister.

Anyways, Mrs. Munroe brought me papers on Peace Bonds, at first i thought it was kind of a stupid idea, like, yea, he decides to come after me so i throw paper in his face, ...uhhuh. but i took the papers anyway, and figured, this guy has never attempted anything, i dont really thinks he has the guts, i think he's all mouth, so atleast if he says anymore i can just show him that im willing to take my own actions against his... I also stopped reacting to every rumor he has spread, every email he has sent, every threat that he makes..im not going to let him control my life like he wants to, i'm not that kind of girl..

And just a hint to any guy pulling the same shit... its not really a turn on... Lol. That just shows how pathetic some people can get, sad really.. ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/7028520/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/7028520/ Sat, 12 Nov 2005 15:47:18 PST
but i ahd to spend most of last week out of classes last week getting ready for rememberance day ceremonies and career day coming up on monday, so i didnt catch up on work aswell as i should have and missed some test reviews, although the mid semester report cards just came out so im hoping ill have sometime to make up my marks before it even shows..

Well i went out on thursday night with some friends and had a blast but im really looking forward to being able to sleep in tomorrow, my first time all week, well other than friday morning but i didnt go to sleep until 6am so that doesnt even count..

o yea...mom won $649 on a lotto. pretty impressive, eh? well we thought so. though its nothing to live off of, it's enough to have a bit of fun with. ..

I'm thinking about going to the city on Dec.12 for the Pink Floyd tribute concert. me and some friends are going to prob. rent a hotel room or something, and just take t he bus in and out, but with the price of the concert and christmas right afterward, i'm not sure if i can pull it all off.. we'll see

still wanting to rip the balls off a few choice guys so needless to say, no new boyfriends, Lol... kk, stay in touch.. ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6937810/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6937810/ Wed, 02 Nov 2005 17:04:52 PST
i cant help but focus in on my ex-not-quite-boyfriend-but-more-than-friend-guy-...friend (lol) as he approached the mic. no, he sings? he's going to sing? him? noway! and omg....he did sing! well kinda.. anyways good or bad, it was amazing because i got goose bumps, its like i finally got my scene, like, from a movie, everything slows down and you can't see anything but him standing there, and you dont notice anything except the way his lips curl up when he presses the mic to his lips, or the way his little ears turn red like forever before his face starts to pink due to lack of oxygen. (and the way he justs laughs off what is clearly inflamed anger when his guitar player misses a cord and messes up the whole song) or the way he glides his arm along his girlfriend's lower back as she kisses him a congratulations and it makes me want to be her and kill her at the same time...


Well, Colten (we all remember colten?) went for a drive on his atv, ran out of gas, and got lost in the woods in milton.. they had millions of people searching for him, they were even going to send out helicopters, AND he made the news. Now, people, listen, this is pathetic, when they have nothing better to do then send search teams for teenage boys joy riding and nothing better to ramble about on the news. we've gotta fix this. this is not working...i'll say...riot..just something.

Still no word from Stevie Duggen, my cousin that been missing for like 3-4 months now... his family is so upset, like if he's out there, he should just call, just say, "hey, im ok." you know..but it;s just hard because when you dont know anything it leaves a hell of alot of room for imagination, and when its someone you really care about and are worried about you manage to think the worse somehow, instead of better...and its weird how our minds find a way to torture itself, like its aweful the way we can do that it kind of blows my mind - i mean, we dont like it but we're the ones thinking it, and its your thoughts but you have no control over them... i mean, it is really weird..

talking to Pat last night, an old friend. i was actually having a really hard night, i wasnt sure why, my day was fine, i think i might just be getting ill again, which is happening alot more this year, strange.. but yea, we talked until like 12:30/1ish and even then i didnt want to leave... its just like talking to someone else in a different place with different surroundings, different people, a totaly different reality, it just took me out of my own...

I'm failing math, HELP!!!i need the only li'poolians that got out of here with their brains intact, jocelyn, aimee, brit, i need you!! Lol, later guys, miss you, kisses hugs and other mushy junk**

So, im working on getting the good copy of our book done for rememberance day, if im right in thinking i havent mentioned it yet then you're all probably thinking "what frigin' book? kyla you're crazy!" Lol, yes guys (aimee {just because you're usually the first to say it out loud} lol) well art club and writer's block grouped up to get a book written for rememberance dayso we can sell them at the school this year, just an example of the writing and art that our classmates do, and you might never have known just by looiking at people. If anyone wants one, just let me know, and i'll get it for you when they go on sale. ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6893673/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6893673/ Fri, 28 Oct 2005 18:33:24 PDT
not much new here, someone's hacking me! grrrrr.... but my real friends know me and the kind of things i think and say, and i think you'll all be able to tell when its not me writing, or atleast i hope...

well. school is getting better in some places, less important in other (lol). jobs all good, we switched from 87 cents to a dollar (que the oOoooO's) scandalous...i know, we're aweful..
man im a rebel (j/k)

talking to some old friends again, keeping busy, im PRESIDENT of writer's block now, amazing i know (j/k) but i got an issue... art club, writer's block on the same day across the hal form one another...ahhhhhhhh! (que the wake up...not a nightmare?...what?...AHHHHHHHH!!!!)

im also in the play this year with the school. It's Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory, and im Grampa George, and my wife is my worst enemy...irony, im not sure.....

anyways...i really miss all of you, keep in touch damnit! lol.. ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6798927/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6798927/ Tue, 18 Oct 2005 07:55:23 PDT . well basicallly im just sitting in child studies with cinny, supposed to be working on teen pregnancy brochures, but mainly planning her birthday party this weekend.
party.....i never go a weekend without partying anymore, sounds fun, and it keeps me busy, but its probably not all that healthy, although im glad im finally getting to experience new things. Im not into anything hard, lets just make that clear. im not the average liverpuddle crack head. thats not to say i dont do drugs, yes, its true, guilty as charged, and i do have friends who are into the hard stuff, but the theory which has been pumped into my brain, and thunders through my head with every toke: "dirt dont hurt" basically stating that anything chemical free, grown from nature and not joe blow's dirty stove top is really not all that bad for you. (although no one really takes into account that shrooms are grown in horse shit rather than dirt, but hey, so are your vegtables) i guess it all just depends on how far you plan on running from reality, and how fast you can do so before it stops you short, and kinda makes you realize you've been running backwards the whole time.
Well, my reality hasnt been so bad lately, not so great either.... im starting to see some real problems, that have been dwelling up for some time now. Mom and dad have lost any good part of their relationship, see mom never trusted dad to begin with but then she found out some secrets he has been hiding and now really doesnt trust him, well she's got some secrets herself that arent really secret from anyone, she just thinks so, and they do nothing but fight all the time, thats all i hear anymore, its driving me insane!
blah blah blah, i dont really get along withmy sister anymore since we started hanging out with the same people, i mean at first it was great, it was like living with one of my best friends, but then she got really territorial over everything, like because they're closer to her age she has rights to them, the kind of rights that let her tell me im not allowed to hang out with them. and they have been coming to me and saying she's a little unbearable sometimes, and inviting me to parties but telling me not to telll her about them so she doesnt show up, but they usually break down and tell her about them anyways because its not like they hate her, but she's just so bitchy!
ANywho- im doing pretty good in school this year, well, you know, average...some good, some not so good..whatever. my jobs still doing pretty well, im still there, dating? huh.. well i used to have this crush on my friends older brother, for like the longest time, well im over it, and i dont even talk to her anymore, but now that he sees me around more (parties usually) he's been hitting on me alot. Normally i'd be ecstatic! but i cant help but think he wants just sex, so im going to just stay friends for awhile before dating and see what he's really about...

MISS YOU GUYS!! XxXxXxxXXXxx ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6631320/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6631320/ Thu, 29 Sep 2005 05:09:43 PDT
well, we drove past Jamie's old house, then his old school....and then the funeral home his service took place at. ouch. yesterday was the four month mark of his death, but we're handling. i hung out with his ex the whole day, we're getting really close now, which is funny because we hated each other before (we both liked jamie) but she said she knew and didnt care now.

I bought a hat (which im wearing right now) love hats! two tops, my mom's b'day present, gum and two movies (Saved and Cabin Fever) well ill ciontinue this later, class is over ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6561113/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6561113/ Wed, 21 Sep 2005 06:25:30 PDT
talk about teen pregnancy, rumor has it Ryan has his new girlfriend pregnant already, lik man, that could have been me, scary! but i just cant believe how fast it all happened, like i havent even talked to him lately, but im just kind of worried about him, you know how i get with me ex's though, i cant just let things end and then never have contact with them again, i mean you've heard me rave on forever about them, but whatever

Anyways, im going camping this weekend with my family and kelly anne and tracey's family and maybe Lori, my fav lesbian! and its like six different birthdays !PARTY! so anyways.

Its, no, it would be jamie's 20th birthday, so next weekend when im home, we'll party AND CELEBRAte our asses off! whoops, caps, sorry too late to fix it! later ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6449699/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6449699/ Thu, 08 Sep 2005 11:32:55 PDT
well, i mean, i was one last year, but that doesnt mean i liked the last year tenners at first either. every generation (including mine) seems to get even less mature than the one before it, how long will this go on? they clearly feel pressure for being in a new school or around different people which is understandable, you can see it in their faces, beet red, light drops of sweat on their forehead as they walk with their heads pointed to the floor, trembling lips when they're called upon. this is their new beginning isnt it?

the exchange kids seem to be handling it a little better. there are about 5 or 6 this year, one in my drama class, and one in my math, (gorgeous). His name is Gustavo, i hope i spelt that right..lol. he is from brazil, so i used what little portugese daniel taught me to tell him he had a nice ass. it was a good laugh. well, i final got my courses figured out, and i fit in time to go see sonya, it wasnt quite the same this time, maybe im over it, do you think i can face this world on my own, give up the advice and support i lived off of for a year and a half, perhaps the start of the most complexing years of my life....maybe.

So I've had to say goodbye to all my graduate friends this past week or so, and i hope they're doing great where ever they are, it gets lonely at the dyke table, but it wont take long to round up some recruits. lol, so you're all good reminders of whats ahead, & tomorrow as i push and shove in through the door, and the colours of the poor lonely banner that someone worked so hard on and no one notices catches my eye, and i sit in a stuffy classroom for hours at a time, letting forieghn words float in one ear and straight through the next, i'll be thinking of you, and where you are, where i'll be, and eventually where i'll go from there... this is only the beginning. ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6395269/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6395269/ Fri, 02 Sep 2005 08:01:28 PDT
a guy i grew up with has gone missing out west somewhere, you may have heard about him, Stevie Duggan.. i dont know what went on there, and they are kind of giving p hope on him coming home, but im not so sure, i think maybe it was more him sneaqking oof to start a new life rather than foulplay, but why wouldnt he tell someone?

i just woke up a couple a minutes a go, and i was out front grabbing some fresh air, and that song popped into my head "and it's good to bbe alive, and its great to breathe the air" i havent heard that song in ages so i dont know what brought it up, but it kinda related to me ina way. its like i got this new appreciaton for life, with the hurricane, and people just dropping all around me, we really are lucky to wake up this morning when you think about it. this is not me getting all religous or anything, just appreciative.

well, the whole ryan spell turned into a real mess, apparently he's got this new girlfriend in bridgewater and he's ontroducing people to her using my name, weird right? but they dont have my SIN number or anyhting, so im not worried about it, what harm can they do really?

i guess it will be good to go back to school again, the summer vacation has kind of worn itself out this year, so ill talk to you later....

"he told her he loved her, not just her as a whole, but the way her hair smelled fresh like spring flowers everyday, the way she smiled kind of crooked when she didnt really get the joke, the way she slowly moved her hand down his chest when he held her, and the love there was so honest and so innocent that she could never regret it, but now that it had played itself out, she somehow felt free, and reassured, because it was reallly there at one time, its just not what she needed now.." ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6270466/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/6270466/ Fri, 19 Aug 2005 11:51:27 PDT
well, i just got done this art class i was doing at the museum, which was really interesting. i enjoyed it. and i can put it on my resume, and hopefully it will help me get into the colleges i want t apply for. so yay me..!

Me and ryan have broken up, *tear*, but im slowly getting over it, and im kind of a "what will be will be" kind of person...so if its meant to happen ten years down the road, ill see you i ten years! ...right?

Well i think im going to the movies with a friend of mine this weekend (andrew). and its kind of a funny story... he's best friends with this guy named corey who is, well, slightly...obsessed with me...he has been for two years now, but we tried the dating thing, and i only want to be his friend. So this little infatuation has really been getting on my nerves, he's so jealous, i cant do anythig without him getting mad at me, and we dont even go out!

so apparently he's been pissing andrew off too, because he gets mad at andrew for 'being too close to me' since me and andrew can joke around better (he doesnt take everything so seriously, and is generally a funny guy) well- corey said something about getting mad at us because he thought we were dating, and when that came into the conversation, i realized a part of me thought it might be fun to just go out with andrew...so we're going to go to a movie, just as friends-to see where it goes.... should be interesting.

i also got a number from a guiy named john. just as friends of course, because he likes to party, and its hard to find a friend to party with, so why not try it right?

im really not looking for someone to get invlved with gain, not yet anyways. i kind of got hurt in the last one, even though thats generally hard to do when you are the one that broke it off to begin with, trust me a managed... you have regrets, and it gets lonely coming out of something that grrew that strong that fast..i even surprised myself.

well, got next weekend off, so im going to chester with the family an some friends, its going to be the three year anniversary of my friends mirace survival in a car accident she was involved in, so we'll do some celebrating. It's also going to be 2 months since we lost jamie.. its hard to believe that everyone's like, almost over it already, like no one talks about it anymore (with exception of me, ryan, and lindsay (his ex girlfriend) ) and it seems so long ago, but when you say it, i mean, its only been 2 months...

I dedicated my first zine to him, what that means, i dont know, but if i ever make it big, then so will he i guess. i cant imagine what its going to be like going back to school without him, whether or not it'll seem like no big deal, or will i still expect to see him like all the friends i lose touch with over summer vacation..?

well im going to try to take school more seriously this year anyhow, maybe ill make something of myself, maybe theres no need to, maybe im already there.. can you imagine, lol..

well, time to end this "story book" haha, heyalater!** ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5985099/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5985099/ Wed, 20 Jul 2005 09:15:53 PDT
So i havent kept in touch with most of you very well since school ended, although theres not much to tell, ive grown bored of my job, but i could never leave (i couldnt handle going back to poverty) and atleast i got peggy! she spices things up in the workplace! lol. and im sure if you're reading this you've read all about my new relationship with *sigh* ryan (lol).. well, you havent met him, and you may not know much about him, you have to admit he's already better then some of the ones i was with last year! (not that it would take much to beat them though)..

AND HEY--whatever happened to our camping trip guys? geez- slackers.. Lol *just kidding* ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5929751/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5929751/ Thu, 14 Jul 2005 04:56:27 PDT
I know my friends may be astonished at the fact its been 2 weeks and i didnt run away yet, and have no intentions. even im quite surprised myself...but this is different then the others i think, well it clearly has to be because im still hanging around, but i guess my mind frame was 'it's easier to leave then to be left behind' (i heard it in a song) but it seems so true. and while i spend alot of time blaming my mistrust to guys on my ex's, when you really look hard at my life, the toughest part is the family, when you think about it, when the men in your family treat you like that, it kind of makes it hard for you to trust anyone i mean really, your family are supposed to be closest to you, ha! well, now i believe you make your own family..

so ive been drinking- i mean thinking, lol, i think ill keep this one for a while...Lol.. {what no kiesha?!} but im having alot of fun, and alot of nights around a campfire, 3 this week alone, Lol, and alot of nights with my head in the bottle, or a bong made from a bottle, Lol, but atleast i dont mind so much when the buzz wears off and im walking around in the real world, hangover and all, life can sometimes, actually be, pretty sweet.... ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5824388/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5824388/ Sat, 02 Jul 2005 21:09:52 PDT
i wake up in the morning, happy. that may not be a big thing to you, but you dont know me... the other night i drank, but not to escape reality, to embrace a drunken night, to be a teen, to party, to know what its like, ..its better

i smile now for no reason, thats the craziest thing ive ever done in my life, i mean ive jumped off waterfalls, ive climbed a mountain unattached (not big ones, but mountains none-the-less), i even drank town water! (which explains alot actually) but i have never smiled without reason, not until now.

i trust him, i havent trusted a man since i learned the difference, he's got issues that are pretty equal to mine, without comparing, he just wants to hear me out, to protect me in a way, and he tells me he cares for me, my relatives dont even tell me that, and when he says it, he seems like he means it..

besides its just something about the way he looks tonight, takes my breath away, the way he looks tonight* ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5732260/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5732260/ Thu, 23 Jun 2005 09:38:03 PDT
Privateer weekend is coming up soon, its sad when you loo forward to things like that i know, i cant help it, something's actually happening in L'pool..sad, sad, sad...

as you might already know, prom just passed, it just pretty much sucked... as soon as i got there i got in a fight with my date (we're still not speaking)and i left early to go to a friends house, the place was driving me crazy! but it was really pretty, and the music wasnt all bad..so props!

i didnt catch any parties afterall, and that weekend i fought with ex-bf once again! but i've pretty much dropped him from mind all together now, im not wasting anymore time trying to help him if he cant help himself... theres just no way, because im beginning to realize that its not my fault if he does hit bottom, its just not anymore, so, yay me.

well....not much more happening for now...but ill keep posting ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5598024/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5598024/ Thu, 09 Jun 2005 10:56:49 PDT
I've met some new friends since we've last talked, only in time to watch them graduate and leave again mind you, i kind of have my mind set on making absolutley no more friends, because if they dont die an early death forcing me to show emotion, they'll eventually do something to completely piss me off to the point where i wish early death upon them, which is fun to plot in my spare time, but ruins any chance at someday reeking of a decent mind....i use that word too much 'mind'....so, next time anyone approaches with the slightest piece of 'mind' that i could possibly like them, or respect their being, i'll simply raise my hands to my head, lean in real close, and let out the loudest most high ptched scream i can muster, directly in their face, make friends with that! i dare ya' (it shant be easy)

Lol, well, what an interesting journey this turned out to be, eh? well isnt it always with me though? ..yea, im really great, Lol. no joke, i really am...but its true what they say, only the good die young, so im going to enjoy life on the guilty side a little more before i let it get to me, i recomend you try the same:..

ok, well MaryOUt** ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5568638/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5568638/ Mon, 06 Jun 2005 09:38:54 PDT
I approached slowly, baby steps. and clenching my eyes shut as tight as they would go, i took the hand of my friend and peered in. i was left with, not sadness, not relief, but confusion. this wasnt jamie, where's jamie, where are they keeping him? bring him out i need to say goodbye. i looked to my friend for answers, but his head dropped, "there he is,"sigh. no, no, its not... his face was so large, too large, he was bloated and his lips were drawn on with liner and colored in. Jamie did not wear makeup! god, what's going on? "dont touch his skin" they warned, well why the hell not?! ive hugged him, ive kissed him, that all includes touching of the skin, he doesnt mind, really. ...

well, i couldnt say goodbye because i was supposed to say it to jamie and that definetly was not him lying there.. i balled for hours, to the point where my eyes were swollen beyond seeing clearly, i could only hope he knew how i loved him, and then wished i could say that guiltlessly, because i had spent the last 6 months supporting a break up between him and his girlfriend that never ended up even happening. and now i was a friend for sharing her grief, and how much i had to hide my own, scared of her finding out that i might have loved him just as much. which is silly because only few people might have known the whole time, wayne, shannon, jamie of course, and maybe lindsay knew and didnt let on...

...it was a long ride home because i step down from where i was sitting untouched and let out emotion for the first time ever infront of my dad. ( the thought of me having any emotion scares my parents shittless) two girls laughing as they walk down the road broke me. "how can they laugh?" i let the question slip out, whether or not i was conscious to actually asking the question or not, im not sure. "imean, maybe they didnt know him like i knew him, but now they never will, thats horrible for them, they should be crushed, they lost a major part of their community, the best part!" dreary tears accompanied my comments/accusations. after a moment of prearing what he was going to say, dad answered the best he could. "you still have to go on living, you still have to wake up everymorning and thank god that you're alive, and enjoy your life."
"Yes, but now when i wake up ni the morning, i may be alive but he's not, he never will be, i may have my life but part of it is missing, a big part"
then dad replied with what he could. he said that he never knew jamie very well, but what he did know, what he heard, he could tell that jamie would want me to go on with my life, and just remember him, that he would be upset if i let this stop me. it sounds like an after school special, but it worked... ..

of course i think of jamie all the time now, especially in school, but home alot too. everyone still likes to talk about him, there are still alot of pictures and memories floating around, and it will be hard for a while but its getting better everyday. I got a bracelette instead of a tattoo in memory of him for now,..Lol, but the tattoos everyone got look really nice..

...ANYWHO---i wish i had my music with me today, im going nuts without it! i got in trouble wih some girls today, i got hit with a ketchup packet today in cafeteria (real mature guys) and when i retracted (im not a real ketchup flinging allstar) i hit the wrong table and hit these two tight ass whores (contardictory, i know) sitting infont of the punks, all i got was some dirty looks, Lol, it was pretty much worth it...

...i just got back from the jocks (aka homosexuals anonymous [no ofense homo.s]) ceremony. lovely. jockstraps lined up single file, march one by one to the stage, crowned with identical awards, wearing their letterman's jakets, but they are not conformists! (sarcasm) these guys try so hard to be rebels, the could almost actually be rebels, except for the fact they are posterchildren mama's boys...

...Look at it this way, when your kid turns twelve you can hand them, (a) a ball, and give them the future we have already discussed. (b) a tv remote, or (c) a joint, either way you have to watch their brains desintegrate, might aswell let them have fun and do it the third way, right? Lol, i dont know, thats just how i see it.. ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5540158/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5540158/ Fri, 03 Jun 2005 07:41:28 PDT
My door is broken in my room, so i have absloutely no privacy anymore. I was on the phone with my boss last night trying to arrange to get the night off for the service tonight (i almost couldnt, it was close) and my sister chooses right then to charge in my room to yell at me to wash the dishes. if i didnt look disfunctional before, i sure did then. She also interupted my conversation with two of my close friends, like get some respect!... now i have to manouver holding the door shut while attempting to get dressed in the morning. Lucky today i grabbed a bottle and used it as a door stop just in time to avoid the peeping eyes of the hallway, or perhaps thats just me being paranoid, i tend to get like that.. hopefully mom doesnt go in there today though, that'll be another fight, not only the mess, but its a whiskey bottle, i forgot to move it before i left.

I've been getting up late all week, and not falling to sleep until the tears fade around the peek morning hours. Not to mention running around doing everything in my power to keep my mind going, i hate to say it but im actually glad we needed to raise the money, it kept us busy, it kept us alive, always thinking about something, always on the move, running from reality...

Tonight's the funeral.. tonight i have to face it. its open casket.. surrounded by friends, i just cant imagine looking him in the face, seeing him lying there infront of us all, just sleeping. and i will think why is he just lying there, Lindsays hurting, why isnt he running to her, we're all crying, but why isnt he wiping our tears, hugging us, telling us it'll be ok, because for some reason, its only really true if he says it, if it comes from his lips... i need to hear him say it to believe it, because it wont be ok unless he says it, it just cant...

Then it will hit me, all over again, like the first time. and i will cry, and i might scream, and i will run from it, try to escape it, fight for my immortality, but death's brutal grasp is the only thing invincible now and it chose jamie, but why?

No one can answer me, and i know that, i hate it, but i know it, and now im lost in anger, or maybe guilt, i dont know which comes first. I will be angry at him for being there, for going in the boat, for disregarding his life jacket, for leaving me here, alone..
& im guilty, im guilty because i didnt call him that night, because i wasnt on msn that night. i'm guilty because i didnt preech to him how important his life jacket is everytime he climbs in a boat. because i didnt run to him, because he was hurting and i wasnt there to save him, i should have somehow been there, he needed me, and i wasnt there, thats an aweful feeling, and when i need saving, then what?
& then i start to accept it right? i mean i cant see it now, but thats what they say. and someday you eventually have to accept it, because you cant just go on all of your life rushing all day and crying all night, always thinking of that friend you had in high school, remeber him? his smile, his innocent eyes, his strut, and then you giggle at the thought of him, but do you remember how you werent there to save him? do you remember how you let him die? no, i cant live like that...

so now im scared, mainly of myself. how im going to take it, what am i going to do now?
and the questions will get broken down and worn out. it will end, wont it? this dispair, this cloud thats cursed everyone around me and myslef, it will disappear sometime right? then where to? i've never thought of all those people on the news in the way i do now, now i think of their friends and families and girlfriends or boyfriends, now i think of their questions and their unsaid words, their sweet kisses, and their bitter tears,. its a whole new prospective inwhich im not sure whether im grateful, or resentful, resentful to what i had to go through to get this new view on life...

Jamie, I dont understand, why is everyone saying you're gone, when you're the only one here with me now..? ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5528847/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5528847/ Thu, 02 Jun 2005 06:44:11 PDT
I walked into school waiting to burst out in laughter over my friends who had merged war on some gangsters the weekend before, it was a funny story, the kind that always comes up after a weekend, the stories that make monday mornings bearable, this one was going to take more than a good story.....

..:LOST AT SEA:..

...it wasnt long before i was brutally slapped in the face with the news a blocked out yesterday morning. I didnt think much of it at first, Jamie always bounced back, nothing kept him down, he was a fighter. He was the only decent thing to walk into this town, nothing was taking him out...

...Maybe it was because i was tired, or just confused, but i had a rough time dealing with the news during first class, just holding back the shock of it all, it was unbelievable, because as you'll hear everyone say, we were just talking to him, he was just here, but i knew he'd be back, of course, its Jamie..

...11:20 am, i was hooking off com tech. in the cafeteria with Alicia and Chantal, we were just talking and joking. i didnt even notice Chris call Alicia over to his side, i didnt notice the look on her face when he gently whispered in her ear, and i didnt notice her stumbling back. She began to speak, and struggling to understand her, i looked up to her face, beat red and twisted, i knew but resented the words coming out of her mouth, "they found him--jamie's...body..they found him--he's dead" she stuttered and i hit the floor before she finished, i dont remember getting there, just being there, screaming, not jamie no, it wasn't true, it couldnt be.....

....I dont remeber getting upstairs, but i had collapsed into Mrs. Cooke's arms, i was crying, and screaming, i couldnt walk, i couldnt even stand, i couldnt think. i was broken. She took me to the office, and they sent me home. i cried until 2:30am...

...the next morning, i woke with swollen, red eyes. I decided if i spent one more moment entrapped in these four walls i'd go mad, so i went to school. I did ok. I only cried during the moment of silence ( the longest moment of my life) and when they asked me to sign some things. It was tough, but still not real, even now sitting in com. tech. im waiting for him, waiting for him to come see me, come pick on mr. redman... ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5528743/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5528743/ Thu, 02 Jun 2005 06:27:17 PDT
Radio's on. Mostly church services on Sunday, i cant bring myself to listen to those. Too much guilt, i dont attend church, im not exactly saint like, and knowing this and knowing the only thing keeping me from church is being to selfish to get up and dressed so early. I feel aweful, aweful enough to resrict me from listening to the church radio..

..A break from the singing and preaching that forms that annoying lump in my throat. the voice in the radio serves as a background to my thoughts on how im going to suvive a whole day at home sharing the house with my mother, something i've feared since as long as i can remember....

...If only i could have listened to what it was saying, so blindly did i walk around, living oblivious to a large part of my world... ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5474107/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5474107/ Fri, 27 May 2005 05:56:25 PDT well, i read it and thought about him immediately, which i assumed was because of the nature of the story, which anyone could really relate to, then i thought about how unfair it was to blame my thoughts on the book, because i never really just started thinking of him on account of, i never actually stopped thinking of him. Even when i'm occupying myself with something completely different, that in no ways has anything to do with him, im still thinking of him. in the back of my mind, he's always there, he never leaves, he's apart of me now and thats scary because any hope i ever had of escaping this "spell" im under is washed away with tears in knowing that he's not beside me at this very moment, the very moment i need to see him, to feel him, to have knowledge of his existance. I feel nosy always thinking, where is he now, what is he doing? what is he thinking as im trapt in this class, only thinking of him?
He's not godlike in any way. I dont know why my obsession stretches so deep, when his imperfections run miles deeper, clearly. Perhaps it's because of his flaws, they're so obvious that i dont fear he's hiding...perhaps. I hate the feeling of inferiority (if thats a word) but even stronger is my hate of the feeling of superiority. i dont want to have to impress anyone, because if im not myself then really, even if i get him to fall for me, he doesnt love me, he loves this monster he's created out of me. but i dont want to feel like im settling, i dont want to put anyone else in that position, although, i feel ive been guilty for both of these before, and somehow neither now. Sometimes i feel he's higher than me, but im so comfortable with him, and how he feels with me, im not scared into being anything else, i'd never want to be with anyone else, be anywhere else.. and im not even sure why.
My biggest fear is his ecstasy. Actually my biggest fear is him realizing at some point that he is better, or somehow higher than me, and leaving. but in saying that i feel guilty, putting my heart infront of what could eventually cost him his life...so we'll say my biggest fear is his ecstasy(even though its obvious thats not quite it..), it's like a deadly addiction, and then it's like a metaphor only he's my little white pill, crushed and lined up on my mirror...silent, well he's not quite silent, but deadly... ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5445784/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5445784/ Tue, 24 May 2005 07:20:58 PDT When i got there, i found out it was a dry party,...no alcohol... so i was going to stay for an hour or two and then just go to my friends apartment and get trashed, but it ended up being okay, so i stayed at the party all night. It was alot of laughs! there were some people there that i would never normally talk to, but they turned out to be pretty cool people, and i kind of felt bad that everyone refused to learn that, that everyone would rather just ignore them. It's sad really, and if it wasnt for my being a little outcasted myself lately, maybe i never would have learned that, maybe i would have stayed ignorant to how much pain i was causing them, if i even was, which i cant assume that the opinions of their peers (who are nobody) means enough to them to get upset over. I would be the first to say that i dont give a damn what they think, but when its your "friends" doing it, that sucks.
Well, there was a bit of a problem, though. I kind of agreed to go to prom with someone there, but i really dont want to lead him on, and i think i am...again. thats right, last year i dated this guy and he thought it was a lot more than it was, i was just casually dating him, as the poor soul fell deeper and deeper, well that sounded concieted, but thats kind of how it went, and he's still not over that, but i couldnt say "no" that would be pretty mean too..
Well, im getting into some big trouble right now actually, see, i think im still in love with my ex, (yes the drug addicted one) but he calls me and he tells me how he thinks we can work it out, and that there's something about me he cant find in anyone else, and he brings up all the ups, and makes me forget all the downs. besides, he needs me, he has no one else to talk to, no one else takes him seriously, he's got alot of issues right now, like family, social, and he's getting help with the drugs....
and im starting to realize as im writing, that im also convincing myself, getting rid of my doubt by saying the exact things he says to me, only it sounds so much sweeter flowing through his lips. and when he kisses me, my problems disintegrate, its like they've never exstited... he's good for me... but then he gets back into a bad trip, and he tries to hide it but i know he's doing the drugs again. And it all comes back, why i left to begin with, its not bad at first, but it gets worse. and then i think, maybe not this time, maybe it'll change, maybe he'll change..
Her name was Emily, she's not from around here. She was so beautiful, and just the day before he'd tell me, "i need you...you're different. theres something about you, i cant find it anywhere's else...I'll tell the world, i'll tell anyone who asks,..." but he cant finish.. i know what comes next, he knows what comes next, but he won't say it, he's never said it...not to anyone.
And Lydia Davis said it first, she said it right, read "The Story" by Lydia Davis. continue later ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5379421/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5379421/ Tue, 17 May 2005 03:24:33 PDT ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5370999/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5370999/ Mon, 16 May 2005 06:34:46 PDT I worked all day and didnt get to any parties at night. i was invited to a couple but they were all on saturday night and before i mentioned it to mom she was already ranting on about renting chick flicks and staying in (gag me), but i figured, one weekend at home wouldnt really kill me..i guess, and i havent been home in so long, so i gave in. well, look at it this way, for the first monday in as long as i can remember, im at school, feeling fine, im not getting picked on for any stupid thing i unconciously did over a nocturnal weekend, im not overtired and ive got my homework done, well..almost, lets not overdue it.
well my friends did go out, and made me glad i didnt. There was a fight (of course), a car accident (ended in the river), and a girl OD'd. Ouch.
i was going to hitch hike to canaan the other day, i was pretty physched for it, but i caouldnt leave until 5:30pm, and that would be ok, but it would take a long time to get there, so i'd be out with all the weirdo's at like 10. like theres not enough staying in town....right.
ugh..thats enough. ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5370998/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5370998/ Mon, 16 May 2005 06:34:44 PDT I worked all day and didnt get to any parties at night. i was invited to a couple but they were all on saturday night and before i mentioned it to mom she was already ranting on about renting chick flicks and staying in (gag me), but i figured, one weekend at home wouldnt really kill me..i guess, and i havent been home in so long, so i gave in. well, look at it this way, for the first monday in as long as i can remember, im at school, feeling fine, im not getting picked on for any stupid thing i unconciously did over a nocturnal weekend, im not overtired and ive got my homework done, well..almost, lets not overdue it.
well my friends did go out, and made me glad i didnt. There was a fight (of course), a car accident (ended in the river), and a girl OD'd. Ouch.
i was going to hitch hike to canaan the other day, i was pretty physched for it, but i caouldnt leave until 5:30pm, and that would be ok, but it would take a long time to get there, so i'd be out with all the weirdo's at like 10. like theres not enough staying in town....right.
ugh..thats enough. ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5317848/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5317848/ Tue, 10 May 2005 06:19:23 PDT I've discovered that sadly i can not make it to the party in canaan this weekend on account of ive been to damn lazy to get off my ass long enough to read a stupid pointless frigin book to get my beginners to get my full to get to canaan and JR's party. fuck.
Lol. Well, now im trying to make my pride shirt and i have no material ink that will show up over all the pride colours so i can write my pride motto that a stole from Ley, hehe, *love/miss you Ley.* o poop.
well i dont remember if i mentioned it before, and if i did, skip this part, but i did manage to escape the wonderfull world of flipping worm burgers, yay for freakin me. Im actually working in one of our many dollar stores, and learning just how cheap our town really is. and now im remebering that i actually already said all of this, so ill stop wasting our time now..
Im talking my parents into letting me live in brazil next year for a month with my friend daniel (just a friend AW, just a friend) and i think they're actually going to let me which is just amazing considering my parents are total tight asses, but im sure everyone thinks that about their parents, the difference is mine are.
anyways..im talking to shawn once again which can be a good thing, or an aweful thing.. depending who you are, but i think its ok. well, im going to go help tommy find an icon, check out my new pics. i'll put in more later* ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5283307/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5283307/ Fri, 06 May 2005 09:52:11 PDT Anyways..i have an english project to do and i have to pick one of my poems, but only one. so i need you help to decide which one. all content is acceptable, so just tell me your fav. Thanks* ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5253384/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5253384/ Tue, 03 May 2005 05:46:49 PDT I went partying the other weekend, but i guess we cant party at our usual spot anymore because if the neighbors complain one more time my friend gets evicted. that sucks.
so the next night we went camping out on a beach in the dunes but it was one of those nights where it was pretty fun at the time i guess but the whole week afterward you just wish you would have stayed in that night.
I was seeing a new guy but he got really upset becuase i went out the other night and we're not talking, but im not sure we were even classified as dating anyways, i never know.
Im getting really sick of the guy's around here and their bullshit. after i figure out this last one, im done for now. even though that will crush my mother because i havent had one that i can take home to her.
I was talking to a man i met a while ago from sweden yesterday. This man is amazing. him and his wife are in their 40's-50's and they've not had a permanent home until now. They spent all their years since high school traveling the world, they've been everywhere, seen everyhting, and they're not even rich or anything, just normal people. we were talking about it for awhile and i'm really getting into the idea. Its so weird because in school, the only option you're ever taught about is out of school into college/university then staright into a career and a life "you've" picked for yourself. but thats not what I want and what is it really that you get to "pick" out of all this.? so, i was talking to daniel yesterday, my friend form brazil, and he said that next summer, not this one, i can start by going down to brazil and staying with him for a little while. then, together, we'll start traveling..perfect.
I'm going to go to college for my bartenders first, or maybe a creative arts course, because with a bartender's i can work anywhere, and i would love to have an education in arts so when i decide to settle down ill have the option of a career i can enjoy.
But thats just a dream right now, i have alot of saving money to do, and i got a new job at one of our many under-a-dollar-stores. so i dont have to flip burgers! yay! ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5118688/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5118688/ Mon, 18 Apr 2005 07:55:52 PDT 1. Kyla
2. Kayla
3. Mary

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Thevirginmary
2. Rainbow_Anus
3. virginmary33

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My eyes
2. My friends
3. My sense of humor

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My size
2. My lack of focus
3. My size

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Clowns
2. Big Trucks
3. People

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Music
2. Friends
3. Ms.Cook

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Red 3quart. sleeve op (FRESH)
2. courderoys
3. black bangles

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS:
1. greenday
2. sublime
3. michael jackson

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Holiday-Greenday
2. BandAid- Scarling
3. High School - Jeremy Fisher

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Get a Job
2. Go on a trip
3. Get Laid

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Good sex
2. Great sex
3. Occasional Conversation

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I hate feet
2. I have a dildo named Lou
3. Im gay

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes
2. Sense of humor
3. *cough*

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. impress ryan
2. lay off sarcasm
3. sit next to ram for more than an hour *gags*

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Writing
2. Drawing
3. listening to music with friends

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Scream
2. Get up and dance randomly
3. Jump my gym techer

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Photography
2. Creative technician design
3. stripper/porn star

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Europe
2. Brazil
3. Australia

THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. Audrey
2. Lucy
3. Marilynne

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Backpack various countries
2. Swim off the waterfalls in Brazil
3. Die happy and willingly ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5067645/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/5067645/ Tue, 12 Apr 2005 08:00:14 PDT Shannon-I give you independance, free you from the chains of love. i know right now love seems risky, but truth is, your playing safety in disguise, jump off the deep end, dive into lonliness and survive, now thats risky
Shawn- I give you religion, something to strongly believe in and turn towards, perhaps with a god you dont have to sacrafice yourself for, Lol. i know, i know.
Collen-I free you from all addictions to drugs, look at yourself, think about it, you've lost me, is it worth losing yourself too?
Fraser-I give you confidence, your work kicks ass and when you see that, others will
Jer-I give you a lover. You deserve it. or maybe patience to wait for the right one, mistakes hurt, but i wouldnt want to deprive you of those either, you need them to make the right decision.
Jocelyn-I give you a cure for cancer, and a totally hot, sexy college proffessor to affair with how you wish, o, and just incase, a tall, pale beautiful lesbian roomate, wink wink
Kimberly- a hot chick, and some good drugs to get your ass to school!
Amy-a complete box of ESP merchandise, felll off the truck, right into your front yard..nice..
Brittany-umm...uhhh...a three letter word that starts with E, she has him now, but we know who he belongs to...
Jaime/Adam/Madi-i give you a wedding already!
Corey-I give you a girl that you can depend on,
someone who will be good to you, but wont lie to save your feelings, im sorry..
AND IF I FORGOT ANYONE-i give you...the finger! i did what i could, maybe your good already...no, Lol, couldnt be.
Well, they're not really saving the world, but meh..., Lol i do what i can, Enjoy! ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/4852335/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/4852335/ Sat, 19 Mar 2005 08:10:47 PST My sister is starting to make her way back into my life, which kind of complicates things right now, its not that i dont want her here, i do, but its hard. see my mom and my sister have been up and arms for years now, and just as mom and I were learning to cope and actually get along, im sneaking behind her back again. How is this all going to work out in the end? i'll be in touch* ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/4537310/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/4537310/ Wed, 09 Feb 2005 11:19:56 PST She laughs only when she feels beautiful, cries as her body cracks. Her mind exploding under pressure.
But she lives for the night, life she could only dream of in the day, sees it running through her mind like re-runs of silent films. running down her cheek like silent screams. ]]> ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/4461369/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/4461369/ Mon, 31 Jan 2005 11:17:39 PST ~theVirginMary http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/4320949/ http://theVirginMary.deviantart.com/journal/4320949/ Fri, 14 Jan 2005 18:17:39 PST ~theVirginMary