http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:thebestdeceptions24&section=today deviantART RSS for by:thebestdeceptions24 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 19:08:12 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/22884898/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/22884898/ Thu, 29 Jan 2009 12:36:47 PST Tuesday's grey and wednesday too
Thursday i don't care about you
It's friday i'm in love
Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's friday i'm in love

Saturday wait
And sunday always comes too late
But friday never hesitate...

I don't care if monday's black
Tuesday wednesday heart attack
Thursday never looking back
It's friday i'm in love

Monday you can hold your head
Tuesday wednesday stay in bed
Or thursday watch the walls instead
It's friday i'm in love

Saturday wait
And sunday always comes too late
But friday never hesitate...

Dressed up to the eyes
It's a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's friday
I'm in love

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/22688982/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/22688982/ Tue, 20 Jan 2009 08:17:24 PST But I can't.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/21628566/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/21628566/ Sun, 23 Nov 2008 10:09:51 PST What's in your heart
What's in our home
So I won't

You'll learn to hate me
But still call me baby
Oh love
So call me by my name

And save your soul
Save your soul
Before you're too far gone
Before nothing can be done

I'll try to decide when
She'll lie in the end ?
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
Telling you to hold off
She said hold on
It's the one thing that I've known

Once I put my coat on
And how I know its all wrong
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love

Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's too far gone
And before nothing can be done

Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/21134713/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/21134713/ Fri, 24 Oct 2008 02:32:01 PDT
Well, not anymore I don't. It hurts. A lot.
7:45pm. And of all things... I crash in to a tractor. It's not the crash that bothers me as odd as that may sound. Or even the fact that my nice new car is probably totalled. Ok that maybe does a bit.
But I wasn't scared. I knew I was going to hit it, at speed, and I knew it could have been bad, but.... I wasn't scared. And afterwards, the uncontrollable shaking was just a by-product of the force of impact. I wasn't in shock, I wasn't sick, I just got out of my car and walked away.
An ambulance happened to be following so they pulled over and checked me out but I was fine. I would have no problem getting in to a car, or driving a car, I don't feel shaken, I don't feel scared. I feel fine. I have more of a ache than a pain down my left side in my neck, chest, back and shoulder but that's it.
Don't think I'm trivialising car crashes, I'm not, at all. But my crash last night, I just.....don't feel anything from it. I was the one consoling my mum instead of the other way around.
I should feel something, but I don't.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/20970189/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/20970189/ Mon, 13 Oct 2008 13:29:19 PDT Don't make a sound
I know they're watching
They're watching

All the commotion
The killing of pain
Has people talking
They're talking

You
Your sex is on fire

Dark of the alley
The breaking of day
Ahead while I'm driving
I'm driving

Soft lips are open
Knuckles are pale
Feels like you're dying
You're dying

And you
Your sex is on fire
And so
With the words to transpire

Hot as a fever
Rattling bones
I can just taste it
Taste it

If it's not forever
If it's just tonight
Oh we're still the greatest
The greatest
The greatest

And you
Your sex is on fire

You
Your sex is on fire
And so
With the words to transpire

And you
Your sex is on fire
And so
With the words to transpire

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/20858390/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/20858390/ Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:22:10 PDT And span the length of the isle of Manhattan,
I'd bring it to where you are
Making a lake of the East River and Hudson
If I could open my mouth
Wide enough for a marching band to march out
They would make your name sing
And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings.

I wish we could open our eyes
To see in all directions at the same time
Oh what a beautiful view
If you were never aware of what was around you
And it is true what you said
That I live like a hermit in my own head
But when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

Your love is gonna drown
Your love is gonna drown
Your love is gonna drown
Your love is gonna drown
Your love is gonna...



love as i have loved as i have loved as i have loved as i have loved

no, never again, never desert you again..

my head is full..
no matter what i do or say, my head..
you are not as i am or as i'll ever be.
I am different now.
as we are.
ever the same.
my head is full..

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/20757596/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/20757596/ Tue, 30 Sep 2008 10:51:42 PDT I like it. I'm ready for winter, although I suppose it's fall.
Autumn.
Cold, crisp days that you can feel pressing against the windowpane, air that leaves a sharpness in your lungs. It's the best kind of cold.
Late night barbecues and fireworks.
Bonfires and guy fawkes.
It's one of the best times of the year.
Feels good already.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/20598438/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/20598438/ Sun, 21 Sep 2008 09:05:00 PDT when the world is hers and she held your eyes
out in the breezeway down by the shore in the lazy summer
and she pulled you in, and she bit your lip, and she made you hers
she looked deep into you as you lay together quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer

but you've already lost
but you've already lost
but you've already lost
when you only had barely enough to hang on

and she combed your hair, and she kissed your teeth
and she made you better than you'd been before
she told you bad things you wished you could change in the lazy summer
and she told you, laughing down to her core, so she would not cry as she lay in your lap
she said "nobody here can live forever, quiet in the grasp of dusk and summer"

but you've already lost
but you've already lost
but you've already lost
when you only had barely enough to hang on

she said, "no one is alone the way you are alone"
and you held her looser than you would have if you ever could have known
some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure
days like that should last and last and last

but you've already lost
but you've already lost
but you've already lost
when you only had barely enough of her to
hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/20076336/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/20076336/ Thu, 21 Aug 2008 11:00:23 PDT Yes, I'm guilty of this, you should know this.
I broke down and wrote you back,
Before you had a chance to.
Forget forgotten, I am moving past this,
Giving notice.
I have to go,
Yes, I know that feeling, know you're leaving.

Calm down, I'm calling you to say,
I'm capsized, erring on the edge of safe.
Calm down, I'm calling back to say,
I'm home now and coming around, coming around.
Nobody likes to,
But I really like to cry.
Nobody likes me,
Maybe if I cry.

Spelled out your name and list the reasons.
Faint of heart, don't call me back.
I imagine you and I was distant, not existent.
I followed suit and laid out on my back,
Imagine that.
A million hours left to think of you and think of that.

Calm down, I'm calling you to say,
I'm capsized, erring on the edge of safe.
Calm down, I'm calling back to say,
I'm home now and coming around, coming around.
Nobody likes to,
But I really like to cry.
Nobody likes me,
Maybe if I cry.

Encircle me,
I need to be taken down.
Encircle me,
I need to be taken down.
Encircle me,
I need to be taken down.
Encircle me,
I need to be taken down.

Nobody likes to,
But I really like to cry.
Nobody likes me,
Maybe if I cry.

Nobody, nobody, nobody,
Nobody, nobody, nobody,
Nobody, nobody, nobody.


Encircle me,
I need to be taken down.
Encircle me,
I need to be taken down.
Encircle me,
I need to be taken down.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/19662731/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/19662731/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:02:43 PDT Now you know where I've been
As you sleep
Torn I am
Weighted down
Patiently
Born of love
You know I'm not dead
I'm just living in my head
Forever waiting
On the ways of your desire
You always find a way
And through it all
Into us all you move
Forgotten touch
Forbidden thought
We can never have enough
You know I'm not dead
Found below
The creatures scream
Stranglehold
A god machine
Begging to
Tear us out
Worn as hope
You know I'm not dead I'm just the tears inside your head
Forever waiting
On the ways of your desire
You always find a way
And through it all into us all you move
Forgotten touch
Forbidden thought
We can never have enough
You know I'm not dead

We all want to hold in the everlasting gaze
Enchanted in the rapture of his sentimental sway
But underneath the wheels lie the skulls of every c.o.g.
The fickle fascination of an everlasting god
You know I'm not dead

I'm just living in my head
Forever waiting
Forever waiting on cruel death
You know I'm not dead
I'm just living for myself
Forever waiting
You know I'm not dead

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/19287903/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/19287903/ Wed, 09 Jul 2008 08:10:05 PDT things I should say to you
They got stuck somewhere
Stuck between me and you

Oh I'm nervous
I don't know what to do
Light a cigarrette
I only smoke when I'm with you

What the hell do I do this for?
You're just another guy
OK, you're kind of sexy
But you're not really special

But I won't mind
If you take me home
Come on, take me home

I won't mind
if you take off all your clothes
Come on, take them off

'Cause I like you so much better when you're naked
I like me so much better when you're naked
I like you so much better when you're naked
I like me so much better when you're naked

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/19232229/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/19232229/ Sun, 06 Jul 2008 09:10:48 PDT To hold your body down
Your shaking seems to hinder
Every grasp that I have found

Moving every inch around me
To defuse your private bomb
I stretch myself surrounding
And protecting you from harm

I use a wallet for your mouth
So when you bite you will not bleed
I drilled a wire through my cheek
And let it down and out my sleeve

And now you're pulling out the best of me
Yeah which never ever comes
This wires all thats left of me
And its hooked within my gums
Within my gums...

So drill it, so drill it
So hard
Feel it
[Kirk screaming]

So drill it, so drill it
So hard
Feel it
[Kirk screaming]

It's proof to show that I bleed for this
And I'd cut myself the shame
To get to know this masochist
Who has stolen my first name

Pretending he's a teacher
Holding all my weight at ease
Yet the teacher seems to split in two
Destroying both his knees

Now crawling I position myself
Below your broken wings
I lift your feathered left arm
Where you hide your heart from me

I never noticed it was swollen
With the touch of brutal pain
I never knew a heart could live inside
The rust from all your rain
All your rain...

So drill it, so drill it
So hard
Feel it
[Kirk screaming]

So drill it, so drill it
So hard
Feel it
[Kirk screaming]

I didnt think to bring a wash cloth
And rub away the dirt
Myself and I we share
This barely beating heart of hurt

And when the hurt comes theres an argument,
A fight to save a smile
A small attack on human tears
To dry them for a while

A dream we all should count on;
Yeah a vision I believe
Where confidence is found
Attached to wires on our sleeve

Where loneliness is history
Told to pack his shit and leave
Where guidance is a fortune
Told to help in time of need

And were crying isn't secret
It's the art of how we grieve
And lessons are the key
To every goal I will acheive
I will achieve

So drill it, so drill it
So hard
Feel it
[Kirk screaming]

So drill it, so drill it
So hard
Feel it
[Kirk screaming]

So drill it, so drill it
So hard
Feel it
[Kirk screaming]

So drill it, so drill it
So hard
Feel it
[Kirk sreaming]

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/19036455/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/19036455/ Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:19:05 PDT Congratulations
Would you like to take a walk with me?

My mind it kind of goes fast
I'll try to slow it down for you
I think I'd love to take a drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My heart

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me..
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me..

I came to see the light in my best friend
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been
My chance of being open was broken
And now you're Mrs. him.

My words they don't come out right
But I'll try to say I'm happy for you
I think I'm going to take that drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My heart

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me..
(My heart)
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me..

And I can't change this
I can never take it back
But now I can't change your mind
(You left me)
And I can't this
I can never take this back
But now I can't change your mind
Can't change your mind
(You left me)
Can't change you mind
(You left me)
(You left me)
(You left me)
(You left me)

Go away
Make it go away
Please.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/18895150/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/18895150/ Tue, 17 Jun 2008 14:51:29 PDT I just went out on a limb and although what happened wasn't quite what I hoped it worked out in a way.
I'm gald I did it.
I wonder now why I was so afraid.
Rejection is a big deal for me and so I procrastinate and I put it off and I don't do the things I really want to do because of it.
But I did it.
And I feel pretty damn good.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/18593163/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/18593163/ Sat, 31 May 2008 12:23:49 PDT Dreaming we had broke
Dreaming you left me
For someone new

And you cried
Drying those brown eyes
Crying you're sorry
Sorry won't do, but...

This is the way I need to wake
I wake to you
And you never left me
All that I'd dreamt had been untrue
Open my eyes
I see sky

Oh, oh, oh woah, no
The way to keep me on my toes
I, I, I will be fine
Just say you'll stay forever mine
'Til we fall asleep tonight

Last night
We had a great fight
I fell asleep in a horrible state
Then dreamt
That you loved my best friend
My heart would not mend
Seemed it was fake, but

This is the way I need to wake
I wake to you
And you never left me
All that I'd dreamt had been untrue
Open my eyes
I see sky

Oh, oh, oh woah, no
The way to keep me on my toes
I, I, I will be fine
Just say you'll stay forever mine
'Til we fall asleep tonight

Sometimes I forget to
Love you like I should
But I'd never leave you
No, I never would
I never would

Oh, oh, oh woah, no
The way to keep me on my toes
I, I, I will be fine
Just say you'll stay forever mine

Oh, oh, oh woah, no
The way to keep me on my toes
I, I, I will be fine
Just say you'll stay forever mine
'Til we fall asleep tonight
'Til we fall asleep tonight



Don't wonder why people go crazy, wonder why they don't.
In the face of all we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that makes us hold it together.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/18429298/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/18429298/ Wed, 21 May 2008 11:19:08 PDT Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of the love, the love that I love.

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now,
Oh love, no
You and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore, mmm...
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
Well I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally deedeedeedee
Well I'm almost finally, finally
Well I'm free, oh, I'm free

And it's okay if you have to go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm almost finally out of.
I'm finally out of, finally, deedeeededede
well I'm almost finally, finally, out of words.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/18288520/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/18288520/ Mon, 12 May 2008 12:14:19 PDT my fingertips pulse.
You didn’t forget me… at least immediately.
So here I will hover and feed off your love,
I’ll listen from the middle instead of above.
Will you fill up my wounds with your styrofoam blood
until I forget?

Greed for your love…
I bleed through this glove.
So why’s it aching when I’m laughing at the world?
Greed for your love…

A quote and a question
on a screen suppressed.
I know it’s not right...
‘cause it’s a second impression.

But I’d rather I taste my desires of Earth
and fill my mind with jewels for all they are worth
than discover a diamond decays to a rock
and time doesn’t turn.

Greed for your love…
I bleed through this glove.
So why’s it aching when I’m laughing at the world?
Greed for your love…

ah ‘cause who are you?
yeah, who are you...
to tell me what to do?

I will unwrap him
just like a present
and I will discard him
just when I want to
thank you.

Greed for your love…
I bleed through this glove.
So why’s it aching when I’m laughing at the world?
Greed for your love…

ah
Greed for your love…
I bleed through this glove.
So why’s it aching when I’m laughing at the world?
Greed for your love…

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/18128017/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/18128017/ Fri, 02 May 2008 05:11:01 PDT If it's not perfect I'll perfect it 'til my heart explodes
I highly doubt
I can make it through another of your episodes
Lashing out
One of the petty moves you pull before you lose control
You wear me out
But it's all right now
Lets go home and get stoned
We could end up making love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
You wear me out (We could end up making love instead of misery)
But it's all right now
Without a doubt
The break up is worth the make up sex you're giving me
Lets hash it out
Cause your bitchin and your yelling don't mean anything
Don't count me out
I can handle all the baggage that you're carrying
You wear me out
But it's all right now
Let's go home and get stoned
We could end up making love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
You wear me out (We could end up making love instead of misery)
But it's alright now
Lets go home and get stoned
We could end up making love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
Go home and get stoned
We could end up making love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
You wear me out
(We could end up making love instead of misery)
But it's all right now
(Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me)
Lets go home and get stoned
Lets go home and get stoned
Lets go home and get stoned
Lets go home and get stoned

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/17695794/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/17695794/ Sat, 05 Apr 2008 08:43:42 PDT I'm no longer yours and you're no longer mine.
You said this hill looks far too steep
if I'm not even sure it's me you wanna keep.
And it's been ten days without you in my reach,
and the only time I've touched you is in my sleep.

And time has changed nothing at all -
you're still the only one that feels like home.
I've tried cutting the ropes and
An I let you go but you're still the only one
that feels like home.

You won't talk me into it next time,
if I'm going away your hearts coming too.
'Cos I miss your hands I miss your face.
When I get back let's disappear without a trace.

'Cos it's been ten days without you in my reach,
and the only time I've touched you is in my sleep.

But time has changed nothing at all -
you're still the only one that feels like home.
I've tried cutting the ropes,
tried letting go but you're still the only one
that feels like home.

So tell me, did you really think...
oh tell me, did you really think
I had gone when you couldn't see me anymore?
When you couldn't...

'Cos baby time has changed nothing at all -
you're still the only one that feels like home.
And I've tried cutting the ropes,
I let you go but you're still the only one
that feels like home, yeah,
you're still the only one that feels like home,
you're still the only one I've gotta love.
Oh yeah...



I know I could look at anyone but you now
I could fall into the arms of anyone but you now, now, now, now.
so come on, come on, come on, come on oh come on through now,
come on, come on, come on oh come on through now.

this is a list of what I should have been,
but I'm not.
this is a list of the things that I should have seen,
but I'm not seeing.
the look in your eyes as her fingers unzipping your dress and it makes you shiver.
I am just turning away from what I shouldn't see,
because I am not anything!
oh! anything..
oh!!!

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/17607033/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/17607033/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 13:53:23 PDT Crying in their sleep,
if I was a hungry man,
with a gun in my hand and some promises to keep.

Wanted to change the world,
watch as easy as murder,
its all headlights and vapor trails,
and circle K killers.

And I know I could look at anyone but you now,
I could fall into the eyes of anyone but you now, now, now, now
so come on, come on, come on, oh come on through now,
come on, come on, come on now come on through now.

This is a list of what I should have been
but I'm not.
this is a list of the things that I should have seen,
but I'm not seeing.
look in your eyes as these fingertips slip on your neck and make you shiver,
I am just turning away from where I should have been
because I am not anything!
oh! anything...
oh!

The president is in bed tonight,
but he can't catch his sleep.
cause all the cowboys on the radio,
are killers.
and I believe she loves you cause you never
make her feel like anything,
she said I want him to feel a thing
but I can feel, I can feel.

I know I could look at anyone but you now
I could fall into the arms of anyone but you now, now, now, now.
so come on, come on, come on, come on oh come on through now,
come on, come on, come on oh come on through now.

this is a list of what I should have been,
but I'm not.
this is a list of the things that I should have seen,
but I'm not seeing.
the look in your eyes as his fingers unzipping your dress and it makes you shiver.
I am just turning away from what I shouldn't see,
because I am not anything!
oh! anything..
oh!!!

Everyone's is in bed tonight,
but nobody can sleep,
cause all the satellites,
are watching through our windows.

she says she doesn't love me,
like, like she's acting- but its as if
she isn't talking,
Mr. Lincoln's head is bleeding,
on a front row while she's speaking.

I said come all you cowboys,
all you blue-eyed baby boys,
oh come on all you dashing gentlemen
of summer.

I'll wait for you,
and Saturday's a memory,
and Sunday comes to gather me,
into the arms of God who would welcome me
cause I believe, I believe.

And I know I could look at anyone but you now,
I could fall into the eyes of anyone but you now, now, now, now
so come on, come on, come on,oh come on through now,
come on, come on, come on oh come on through now.

This is a list of what I should have been
but I'm not.
This is a list of the things that I should have seen,
but I'm not seeing.
you look at me...so please won't you look at me,
cause I am not seeing you
look at me,
Oh I will make you, look at me,
or I am not anything!!
oh! anything...
no!, no!, no, no,
no, no, no, no,
no!

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/17477655/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/17477655/ Sun, 23 Mar 2008 15:40:42 PDT That said "use these down to your bones"
And before I knew I had shiny skin and it felt easy being clean like him
I thought "this one knows better than I do"

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
He tried to cut me so I'd fit

And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could've gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

So the next one came with a bag of treats,
she smelled like sugar and spoke like the sea
And she told me don't trust them, trust me
Then she pulled at my stitches one by one,
looked at my insides clicking her tongue and said
"This will all have to come undone"

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
She tried to blunt me so I'd fit

And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

I think I realized just in time, although my old self was hard to find
You can bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine
'Cos I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys
Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same?

And doesn't that sound familiar? Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?
Could you leave me with a scar?

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/17135887/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/17135887/ Sat, 01 Mar 2008 16:27:11 PST As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/14364093/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/14364093/ Mon, 27 Aug 2007 11:58:43 PDT I bet we'll be the last ones to leave town.
Someone's got to reach
and I guess that someone is me,
but I bet you'll be the last star shot down.

Let's be off tonight
While we're awake enough to drive,
And by this time tomorrow we'll be alive.

And you're reading me lines from a song you wrote,
It was something 'bout a dragon of a girl you knew
That you lost on this road to hell, with me.

Call it fate or bad luck.
Nothing mystifies us.
I bet you'll be the last star shot down.

Summer's dropping hints while my heart's working inch
Walks the dust of mid-day to its grave.
Braver men than me walk the lines of sleep,
Know the charm where forever and fourth street meet,
Sing the praise of this road to hell with me.

Call it fate or bad luck.
Nothing mystifies us.
I bet you'll be the last star shot down.

Call it fate or bad luck.
Nothing mystifies us.
City streets and hearts make the same sound.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/14213567/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/14213567/ Sat, 18 Aug 2007 05:31:39 PDT The rules are:
1-Post these rules
2-Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves
3-Tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts (I don't blog)
4- At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named
5-Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged


1. my imagination never stops. its constantly going all day and night and half the time theres no logical reason as to the things going round my head they just come and go. its forever working away in the back of my mind and then these thoughts, when its worked itself in to a frenzy, push themselves tot he front of my mind.
the piss off is whatever i come up with in my head, i cant ever draw it or write it down in a way that does it justice, its just not right or it doesnt convey the intensity or the feeling within it. by the time it comes out its almost lifeless..

2. i'm a people watcher. that gets me in to trouble. i mean i have been pretty much minding my own business when something kicks off so i dont get it. its happened a few times, mainly mcdonalds, id say rough part of town except...its not in town. I dont know what it is i mean i can handle myself but i dont think i look particularly threatening or am i mislead? either way both times these men about 30 40 whatev decided to get all up in my face and ask me if i have a problem except not so politely. first time it happened i was only like 16 and i was actually sat in the back of the car so this guy shoves his head through the front window to start on me, i mean come on! its funny cause the only thing i could think was that they both had really bad teeth..

3. i dont draw, paint, write, or sculpt or photograph or anything anymore. i cant. theres just no motivation, nothing inside that drives me to produce anything even remotely like creativity, im empty. i dont feel anything. all my art work, sketchbooks, tools, they are all packed away. out of sight out of mind.
someone told me i had talent and i shouldnt waste it like this was a choice, it wasnt. not a conscious choice anyway.

4. i always always always fall for the wrong ind of girl, they are always off limits for various reason and im bored of it. i want a normal relationship for once where both parties are commited, that would be nice you know. i bored of secrecy and things being messed up. Just..yeah..

side note: I could watch imogen heap dance all day long and never tire of it.

5. i have some pretty apocolyptic dreams. end of the world, plane crashes, death, destruction, twisters, fire endless fire...morrisons. haha yeah thats right a joke, which unless you're a brit or have lived here you wont get it so dont worry your pretty little heads. I actually like morrisons, our morrisons is cool but i digress.
ive been scared in my dreams, after too, above all the feeling of fear resonates stronger than anything else. ive done that whole waking up abrubty in the middle of the night, cold sweat, heart racing, scared to death...some of them are so intense..

6. i cut myself. it true, im forever cutting my hands. i mean my job is pretty hazardous, i drilled my finger the other day, that hurt. but i love working with my hands and i hate wearing gloves. its not limited to my hands though, whatever im doing, from making dentures to smashing down walls, I throw myself in with a reckless abandon, with little or no thought to my own safety. thats what my rugby coach liked about me i guess, that i would go in to a tackle without thinking, i didnt hesitate. it was my favourite art of the game.

so thers only six, or seven if you count the random fact about imogen. i might add more i might not. its done.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/14150160/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/14150160/ Mon, 13 Aug 2007 13:49:09 PDT
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/13758468/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/13758468/ Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:51:04 PDT
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/13604746/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/13604746/ Wed, 04 Jul 2007 09:26:48 PDT And the heroine
I am lost And I am rescuing

The storm is come
And I am following

My name is Tristan
And I am alive

Forever young
I come from God knows where
'Cos now I’m here
Without a hope or care

I am trouble
And I am troubled too

My name is Tristan
And I am alive

Sorrow by name
And sorrow by nature
Working for joy
On overtime

Stuck on a line
Of misadventure
I fear no crime

I am the victim
And the murderer
You speak of love
But I’ve never heard of her

I am fucked
And I am fucking too

My name is Tristan
And I am alive

Sorrow by name
And sorrow by nature
Working for joy
On overtime

Stuck on a line
Of misadventure
I fear no crime

My name is Tristan
And I am alive

My name is Tristan
And I am alive ]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/13486158/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/13486158/ Mon, 25 Jun 2007 13:56:57 PDT
Sometimes I wish there was a patch, sometimes I wish there was more than making the grade to meet other peoples standards, and sometimes there is. But not right now.

Right now I feel like I'm drowning.
I'm isolated.
Trapped, and I can't break the surface.
And your silence floods my ears until it's all I hear.
This lack of anything smothers my nose and mouth until I can't breathe.
I'm paralysed.
Sinking.
Held down under the pressure of this feeling.

Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

Love is the point, the very highest point and if you move, if you move you fall.

I fell

And so it's ending.
With your face in my mind
And these shadows of memories to taunt me.
I will never be what you need.

I have let you go
But I won't ever be free.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/13302271/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/13302271/ Mon, 11 Jun 2007 11:12:40 PDT It's not about you, it's me
(2x)

And sometimes it's good
And sometimes it's bad
But living with you
Well you're driving me mad
And sometimes it's good
And sometimes it's bad
But living with you
Well it's becoming a drag

She has a beautiful smile
She's the gleam in your eye
Dresses like a princess
Playing games in your mind
Falling out of her top
Brings a hand through her hair
Playing so hard to get
'Cause she knows that you care

I don't know how to love you more
How to love you more
How to love you more my friend

I don't know how to love you more
How to love you more
How to love you more my...

I guess we got (3x)
Nothing to say
I guess we got (3x)

It's not about you
Don't you go
I guess we got
(2x)

And sometimes it's good
And sometimes it's bad
But living with you
Well you're driving me mad
And sometimes it's good
And sometimes it's bad
But living with you
Well you're making me sad

So is this how it ends
While nobody knows
She'll be gone for a year
And we'll see how it goes
Moving out of your flat
Slipping right through your hands
She's a difficult girl
And you're a silly young man

I don't know how to love you more
How to love you more
How to love you more my friend

I don't know how to love you more
How to love you more
How to love you more my...

I guess we got (3x)
Nothing to say
I guess we got (3x)

It's not about you
Don't you go
I guess we got
(2x)

Dont you go home
Dont you go home
Dont you leave me on my own
And sometimes it's good
And sometimes it's bad
But living with you
Well youre driving me

I guess we got (3x)
Nothing to say
I guess we got (3x)
Nothing to say

Don't you go home
Don't you go home
Don't you leave me on my own (3x)

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/13121474/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/13121474/ Mon, 28 May 2007 05:48:41 PDT I do.
Not everything, but most things.
I guess thinking is my forte. But sometimes, or most of the time, thinking leads to dwelling. I'm dweller, I dwell. I'm good at it. I like to wear my anger in til it's nice and comfy and it fits like an old hoodie that you refuse to throw out.
My anger keeps me warm in the way that it makes me content. It's something I can snuggle down and hide in so I don't have to face being civil, it's my barrier against cold, harsh reality and the smell of it reminds me of how I feel now and that I shouldn't look back, I definately shouldn't go back.
Not all anger is unhealthy and it doesn't hurt to dwell in it. It's better than feeling numb in any case.
I'm not taking this hoodie off for a while, I don't have to, not for you, I don't owe you anything. If you don't like it I don't care, get over it, because it's mine and you won't take this away from me. You don't have to like it, you don't have to talk to me but you do not get to yell at me for it.
Keep you opinions about it to yourself because I don't wanna hear it. Nothing you say will make this go away.
I'm staying angry.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/13011457/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/13011457/ Sun, 20 May 2007 12:00:02 PDT I wish I was still there even after all the walking and stuff it was awesome. The train was full ont he way so I ended up sitting next to the door, the view isn't so great from there but the journey was quick, tis only like and hour by train, who knew?
We saw the Sound of Music At The Palladium, anyone who lives in Britain will know that Connie Fisher, who won "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?" last year, was our leading lady and you know she was good on the show she really was but her performance was outstanding, the whole show was amazing and the cute girl in front of me didnt hurt either hahaha!
But seriously, I loved every minute of the show, I would go and see it again if it weren't so damn expensive! Hell I might go again anyway, it was amazing. And the girl that plays Gretle, she's six, six and performing to hundreds of people, a two and a half hour show, like four times a week (they have two sets of kids) and she did not make a single mistake! She never faltered and her singing was damn impressive!
The whole trip was awesome, we only really went to Covent Garden so I missed Camden Market which kinda sucked (I am in love with Camden Market, completely, it's one of the best places on Earth) but we raided the O'Neil and David & Goliath so I was happy.
The hotel was fookin fancy! I don't recomend being hyper on Starbucks in a posh hotel...or before you're about to see a show...hyper was me and appreciative people were not lol.
Oh and on the way back up from the bar...hahaha....me and my dad went to the hotel bar after the show my mum and sister went to the rooms, we sit there have a few beers, smoke a cigar (chyeah i know!) decide to go up to bed, and press seven on the lift, it's very important that you take note of the seven, I assure you we pressed the number seven. We gets out of the lift, decide to go to 711, my parents room, so we ring the bell, no answer we knock, press my ear to the door, nothing, sounds like someone talking inside but nothing happens, so we go to my room, 702, do the same things, sounds like someone is inside but we're getting no answer. So we rang them....
Yeah......the phone is ringing and i glance at the door number.....602...oops! Ran to the lift, prayed no one came out of their room while we waited and yeah...was fun lol
I imagine they dont appreciate people terrorising other guests in the middle of the night either...they frown on that.
So yeah, I had the best time and I already miss starbucks...




I like,
Where we are,
When we drive,
In your car.
I like,
Where we are,
Here.

Cause our lips,
Can touch.
And our cheeks,
Can brush.
Our lips can touch,
Here.

Where you are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.

I like,
Where you sleep,
When you sleep,
Next to me.
I like,
Where you sleep,
Here.

Our lips,
Can touch.
And our cheeks,
Can brush.
Cause our lips can touch,
Here.

Where you are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.

Our lips can touch.
Our lips can touch,
Here.

You are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your...

You are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite, miss you quite..."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now theres no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.

Here in your arms.
Oh, here in your... arms.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12909509/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12909509/ Thu, 10 May 2007 10:59:24 PDT
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12886033/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12886033/ Tue, 08 May 2007 09:18:26 PDT She tell me it's all in a line and I'm on again
But I won't worry I'll be free yeah
I'll be the only child of the love I see

I've been known to take my time
I've been told that I'm alright
I don't know if I'm your kind
All I know is that you are
On my mind

I live a life that others live but I'm far away
I play the cards you roll the dice and we'll play the game
And if I win I'll sweetly say yeah
Anna, you missed the moon today

I've been known to take my time
I've been told that I'm alright
I don't know if I'm your kind
All I know is that you are
On my mind

All my energies
All my lazy days
Keep remindin me
That you go on and on and
You're on my mind

The darkness falls the shadows break and the dawn returns
And even then I can't explain how deep it burns
Let your thoughts release the cold
And you'll find the body's younger than the soul

I've been known to take my time
I've been told that I'm alright
I don't know if I'm your kind
All I know is that you are
On my mind

- My other account
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12790719/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12790719/ Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:33:16 PDT I can feel you moving over there
You've been playing with the seams
In your worn out underwear
And my lips are raw as hell
From biting on them just to stay awake
It's not like I'm gonna need them, you wont be around
To see them bleed and break

All...all that I do, comes back to you
So I'll just think about you
Til there's nothing in my head
All I can do, is try not to screw this up again
And just be friends, I'd rather be dead

I drove out of East Atlanta
With a headache the size of my car
I called to say I was okay
Cause I know how you are
I'm like a movie without an ending
You know I've got nowhere to go
And it makes me wanna throw up
To see you wanna give up
More than you'll ever know

All...all that I do, comes back to you
So I'll just think about you
Til there's nothing in my head
All I can do, is try not to screw this up again
And just be friends, I'd rather be dead

Oh,
Everything's supposed to have a happy ending
But the record keeps skipping and the needle keeps bending
Like the road I'm driving to the bridge that has no end
I wanna take back everything that I've broken
But the bridges behind me are burning and smokin'
I guess this is the end

All....

All...all that I do, comes back to you
So I'll just think about you
Til there's nothing in my head
All I can do, is try not to screw this up again
And just be friends, I'd rather be dead

- My other account
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12752897/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12752897/ Fri, 27 Apr 2007 09:37:36 PDT Life, it's a funny thing. People say you've got all the time in the world, you haven't.
Everything can be taken from you just like that.
Friends.
Family.
Love.
Life.
Katie could have been anything, done anything, lived. Odds are she never thought it was all gonna end yesterday.
Everyday you hear about numerous traffic accidents on the news.
Everyday.
You never expect to be the person behind the wheel or a passenger in that car.
It happens.
And if it does happen, if we walk away, we forget how bad it really was.
Your life shouldn't end that way.
You shouldn't be alone.

None of us can control how much time we have on this Earth, don't waste it.

I hope her family and friends can find some kind of peace.



There's a line that you cross,
When you find out that you're lost.
When your world is closing in,
And it crawls under your skin.

And the heart's always blind,
When it's in this state of mind.

There's a burning light in this town,
For every heart that's broken down tonight,
Here tonight.
You're stranded out there in the rain,
And you just can't see past the pain tonight.
You've fallen from graceland, Fallen from graceland.

When you're too proud to crawl,
It keeps your back against the wall.
You wanna die, but you live,
With nothing left to give.

And there's no place to hide,
When you're tangled up inside.

There's a burning light in this town,
For every heart that's broken down tonight.
Here tonight.
You're stranded out there in the rain,
But you just can't see past the pain tonight.
You've fallen from graceland.

And there's no place to hide,
When you're tangled up inside.

There's a burning light in this town,
For every heart that's broken down tonight.
Here tonight.
You're stranded out there in the rain,
But you just can't see past the pain tonight.
You've fallen from graceland.

Fallen, you've fallen from graceland tonight,
Fallen, fallen, fallen, fallen from graceland.
And tonight.

There's a light, a bright light burning,
For every broken heart in this world tonight.
Deep inside.
Yes, there's one light burning,
That will lead you through the storm tonight.
It's gonna be alright, be alright,yeah,
Gonna be alright, yeah, it's gonna be alright.
(Oh it's gonna be alright, tonight)

Fallen, fallen, fallen, fallen from graceland,
(Fallen from graceland)
Tonight.

- My other account
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12715252/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12715252/ Tue, 24 Apr 2007 08:59:48 PDT
- My other account
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12537620/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12537620/ Tue, 10 Apr 2007 10:09:08 PDT
My Shadow of Icarus

Falling into
Rhyme upon rhyme upon rhyme
Of forgotten lies
That you use to
Whisper
Yourself away from this
Distorted lullaby.
A fairytale turned
Nightmare
For which
I make no appologies.
You tried
And lied
And died
From me
In a blaze of.....fire and brimstone?
But don't be surprised
Cause these wings which
YOU burn
turn to ashes dear
And ashes only fall like tears
To the ground.
And you're right, you fell into that
Bottomless pit
The "infernal abyss"
But only in cotton candy streams
Of white
Of grey
A shadow of Icarus
And now you're
Flayed,
Splayed,
For all to see.

(the next part, if not all of it, is so cliched)

Burning as you fall
From the heavens in
My heart
Encased in darkness


and yeah.

- My other account
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12415311/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12415311/ Sun, 01 Apr 2007 11:29:08 PDT I think it means that we've been lost
Maybe one less time is all we need
I can't really help it if my tongue's all tied in knots
Jumping off a bridge, it's just the farthest that I've ever been

Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
Anyplace but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
I'll follow you down, but not that far

I know we're headed somewhere, I can see how far we've come
But still I can't remember anything
Let's not do the wrong thing and I'll swear it might be fun
It's a long way down when all the knots we've tied have come undone

Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
Anyplace but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
I'll follow you down, but not that far

How you gonna ever find your place
Running in an artificial pace
Are they gonna find us lying face down in the sand
So what the hell now, we've already been forever damned

Anywhere you go I'll follow you down
Anyplace but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
I'll follow you down, but not that far

Anywhere you go I'll follow you down
Anyplace but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
I'll follow you down, but not that far

I'll follow you down, but not that far

I'll follow you down, but not that far

- My other account
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12387903/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12387903/ Fri, 30 Mar 2007 11:30:42 PDT
- Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas

I read my paper today, it's not often I read the paper but I did today, and I found an article about the Fred Phelps family and the Westboro Baptist Church and I was sickened by what I read and saw.
These people are religious extremists who hate gays, Jews, soldiers, the Irish, anyone who has had sex outside of marriage and Swedes - but that's only because Fred Phelps was arrested for preaching against homosexuality, which to me is not a legitimite reason. These people, this family, go to war heros' funerals wih banners reading such things as "Thank God for dead soldiers", "Fag marines", children as young as six are carrying signs saying "Thank God for 9/11." These children don't even know what the signs they are carrying mean! They don'tstop at picketing churches or antigay parades they preach on the internet (godhatesfags.com) And you'll see on there that they want the death penatly for gays, I kid you not "All nations must immediately outlaw sodomy (homosexuality) & impose the death penalty!"
I can't believe that people do this, that they really do this, because its sick. It is disgusting and inhumane to laugh when someone is hit by a car or dies of cancer! They believe it is right because God is "doing his job", that God is carrying out his wrath due to Americas acceptance of Gay people.
These people repulse and disgust me and I can't believe that they get away with it. I checked out how many states have a constitutional ban and how many have a state ban on gay marriage and all but one state has one of those, only in one state can gay people leglly marry. So I guess America really isn't as tolerant as you might think, I guess a lot of people aren't. These people, they destroy lives, they think that gay people are ruining theirs and maybe some are, I don't know, but in a "civillised" world is it really acceptable for this sort of thing to go on? Can anyone really condone this behaviour?
You know I'm not surprised, why depression and the suicide statistics are so high, and I'm not just talking about gay people, everyone hates each other, we destroy ourselves. We kill with words just as much as we do with weapons. We tease and we torture and we break until there is nothing left, there is nothing, just an empty hole inside that you can't fill, that eats at you and then something does start to fill it, it fills that hole and it rises until it overflows and it spills out until you hurt yourself or someone else and that thing is hate.
People are empty unless they hate, unless they're angry, unless they destory and burn down something beautiful. We call ourselves civillised, we're nothing but animals.

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright? You.
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright? You.
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright? You.
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright? You.
With you.

Leave me out with the waste
... ]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12297585/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12297585/ Fri, 23 Mar 2007 14:01:14 PDT Why oh why ohwhyohwhyohwhyohwhy.....er yeah....do people eat ice cream when they are upset or sick or whatever?
I'm currently dying of pain all down the left side from my head, down my neck, through my chest and down my left arm.
Doesn't it all just sound so serious? Maybe I was gonna have a heart attack or a stroke and just while I'm thinking I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE DAMNIT!
The doc tells me I'm not gonna die just yet.
Nope, I'm stood there semi-half naked and he listens to my heart and my lungs while I breathe, taps me all over my back and chest and then squeeezes my ribs with the grip of a...er...really grippy thing! I could have swung for the McBastard!
Instead I settled for the more subtle approach of all but shouting YES THAT HURTS, IT HURTS ALOT, GOD DAMNIT YOU CAN STOP NOW!! Ahem. I was, and still am, in a fair bit of pain.
His diagnosis:
It's just muscle damage.
JUST muscle damage?
Damaged how? What? Who the hell damaged my ribs?
Apparently we don't have the answers for these questions.
He then turns round to me and asks me if I want anything for the pain...
Do I want anything for the pain? Are you serious?!? OF COURSE I DAMN WELL DO! What kind of doctor are you? You nearly break my already broken feeling ribs and can see I'm clearly in pain and you gotta ask?
I wonder did you even take the exam? All those years at medical school for what? To teach you how to be an hour late and to make patients feel worse? Boy he must have been top of his class!
But the good news is I'm still alive right?
Right??
Of course..

I love ice cream.
I like jalapeno's.
I love the taste of red.
I like vintage clothes.
I miss getting beat up on a regular basis (rugby).
I have a renewed love for Queen.
I think talking in the third person with Amy is kinda cool.
I think randomness is cool.
I think Kate is cute.
If you're planning on getting arrested in Chicago take a sweater even in summer.
You have stolen my heart.
I dislike bigots
I don't enjoy being told that people will go to hell because they are gay.
I have a lot of opinions.
I miss my nan.
I take things to heart.
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I continually change for people because I think it's more important for them to be happy.
I don't break easily.
I roll my sleeves up even when I have put a jumper on to keep my arms warm.
I often get lost in thought.
I think I'm a good writer even if I'm not good enough for other poples standards.
I don't enjoy being led on.
I like watching girls dance around the room.
I miss her smile.
I think we destroy each other.
I think too much.
I don't sleep often.
I see you, you see me differently.
I want you to tell me that you love me but you never wanna see me again.
I need a hair cut.
I dream of many things, things I don't understand, things I don't even need.
I think my cup is half empty, but I can always go and get another drink.

"We take our miracles where we find them, we reach across the gap and sometimes, against all odds, against all logic, we touch."

- My other account
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12245069/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/12245069/ Tue, 20 Mar 2007 11:43:00 PDT Someone define crushing to me damnit!
I'm trying to get it all down...because then it's no longer inside of me threatening the life it belongs to...because it did and it has and it hurt and now I'm done with it.
Now something else is replacing it and I don't know if it's a good thing or not. I mean, I think something is replacing it, and if it is what I think it is, it's no good again!
I have a repetative cycle, I fall for the same girls in the same situations and it sucks! This time it's the same situation. This cycle is no good.
But I'm not impressed and I'm definately not excited.
But I wanna crush,
I wanna fall.
I want her to rip my heart out again...
Maybe...

She's got a nice smile.

This is my symphony of sound
Or maybe just a broken lullaby
Because we have faded in to fairytale you and I
Lost in Neverland
Floating through cotton candy streams
Swirling, sinking, blending
Falling through
Rhyme upon rhyme upon line
Of forgotten lies
That we once told,
We once sold each other
As truth
This loss of words swirling around my head
Blending with the sparlking lights of souls
Your soul.
But I watched that break and tear
With fear.
Hatred.
Hate me.
Hate me with your forgotten voice
There's nothing but ashes under my skin anyway.
Watch
I'll disappear before your very eyes
A little death makes life more meaningful..

...these words are my diary SCREAMING OUT LOUD and I know that you'll use them however you want to...
So use them, abuse me, and just let me get lost in your eyes cause I'll drown and you'll live and all will be right with the world.

She grew up with
The children of the stars
In the hollywood hills and the boulevard
Her parents threw big parties
Everyone was there
They hung out with folks like
Dennis Hopper, Bob Seeger, Sonny and Cher

Now, she feels safe now
In this bar on fairfax
And from the stage I can tell that
She can't let go and she can't relax
And just before
She hangs her head to cry
I sing to her a lullaby

I sing
Everything's gonna be all right
Rockabye, rockabye
Everything's gonna be all right
Rockabye, rockabye
Rockabye

She still lives with her mum
Outside the city
Down that street about a half a mile
And all her friends tell her
She's so pretty
But she'd be a whole lot prettier
If she smiled once in a while
`Cause even her smile
Looks like a frown
She's seen her share of devils
In this angel town

Everything's gonna be all right
Rockabye, rockabye
Everything's gonna be all right
Rockabye, rockabye
Rockabye

I told her
I ain't so sure about this place
It's hard to play a gig in this town
And keep a straight face
Seems like everybody's got a plan
It's kind of like nashville with a tan, but

Everything's gonna be all right
Rockabye, rockabye
Everything's gonna be all right
Yes, rockabye, rockabye

Everything's gonna be all right
Rockabye, rockabye
Everything's gonna be all right
Rockabye, rockabye, rockabye
Bye, bye
Bye, bye

I'm totally crushing and I can't have her.

- My other account
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11998819/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11998819/ Thu, 01 Mar 2007 10:42:54 PST
Breaking news just in! I apparently sound disturbed...? I don't know BUT! I am gonna be a hobbit! Yes in about forty weeks, my friend comes back from the states and is throwing a fancy dress party so I'm gonna be a hobbit!
I have been watching Lord of the Rings as of late..all three..damn I love that movie....or movies?..But yeah. I'm short enough I guess but I'm not immensly short...anyway I'm gonna get me some short trousers and a waist coat along with the elven cloaks and brooch and yeah. It's gonna be awesome! I'm even gonna get some fur for my feet hahaha!
You may think forty weeks is a long time in advance but I may yet have to make the waist coat so you know considering my sewing skills its probably best that i have forty weeks, but then I also have a mother....haha I'm only kidding, not about having a mum, I have one of those, but kidding about her doing it and yes...
But how awesome would it be? Me as a hobbit! lol I have decided thought that Frodo is a bit of a pansy, he never would have made it to Mount Doom had Sam not been with him, When you think about it, Sam did all the work, He killed Shelob, he saved frodo fromt he Orks, he CARRIED Frodo half way up Mount Doom! Right now I'm hoping it is called Mount Doom...
But yes, Hobbitses!
and in other news, I start my job tomorrow! At 8am! What ungodly hour is 8am?? There is only one 8 o'clock in the day and it ain't in the morning let me tell you! Hahaha! Ah well it will be fun, yes I know it's work but it will be fun. It's messy and I get to use my hands whats not to love?
Anyway, I have nothing else to ramble about currently ah well.

Namarie

(I don't know how you get the fancy little accents about the letters in this)

EDIT
Ok things hurt that shouldn't hurt. How can my lower back hurt from making dentures?? It's gotta be all the getting up and sitting down again thats done it, never have I stood up and then sat down again so many times in one day.
I didn't get as messy as I thought I would today but I did cover myself in Pumice at one stage while I was polishing the dentures and "sanding" the bumps out. Tis great the wheel spins and it shoots this grey/brown sludge all over you lol.
So at the end of my first day, after casting, basing, polishing dentures and making bite blocks after bite blocks, I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I want the hotest shower ever. Work is great! *thumbsup!*
Back to do it all over again tomorrow! Night kids!

Home is behind, the world ahead, and there are many paths to tread. Through shadow, To the edge of night, Until the stars are all alight. Mist and shadow, cloud and shade. All shall fade. All... shall... fade.


Close the door and take the stairs
Up or down, Ups and downs
Don't pretend you've never been there
You kiss me like an overdramatic actor
Who's starving for work
With one last shot to make it happen

You won the role, you've played your part
You've been cordially invited
But I'm not impressed
And I'm definately not excited
Cause the film runs a shallow budget
And the writer's subject script isn't any deeper
So dive right in

Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
Hey you, who are you kidding?
I'm not like them. I won't buy in.
Hollywood hills and suburban thrills,
Hey you, who are you kidding?
Don't quit 'til 47.
Then we'll turn it up, and we'll play a little faster.

Take back everything you ever said
You never meant a word of it
You never did
Take back everything you said
You never meant a word of it
You never did

She said, 'Alright, alright slow down'
Oh no, oh no we won't
Cause I regret everything that I said
To ever make her feel like she was something special
Or that she ever really mattered
Or did she ever really matter?

Hollywood hills and suburban thrills
Hey you, who are you kidding?
I'm not like them
I won't buy in
Hollywood hills and suburban thrills
Just don't count on this summer
Don't quit 'til 47
Then we'll turn it up and we'll play a little faster

Take back everything you ever said,girl
You never meant a word of it
You never did
Take back everything you said,girl
You never meant a word of it
You never did

I'm not sayin' that I'm not breakin' some hearts tonight, girl
Oh, I'm not sayin' that I'm not breakin' some hearts tonight, girl

Alright, alright, slow down

Take back everything you ever said
You... ]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11917235/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11917235/ Thu, 22 Feb 2007 05:28:25 PST And those of you that know me will agree that thats dangerous but hey, sometimes you gotta make sacrafices and seen as the only one sacraficing anything as a result of this is me, you need have no fear of reading it *thumsup*
I'm waaaay sarastic right now, and fed up of talking like and American, not that I have anything against Americans I love some of them dearly it's just...I'm British. When did I start putting "like" and "omg" and "totally" in my sentences? Am I pushing boundaries or simply succeeding in making the human race more of a universal mass that cannot think or act for itself?
Bring on the hate mail for me saying that it's Americans that started that craze but fuck it, I don't care. Of course I mean the "like" craze not the conformaty craze, thats undecided.
Notice how people only comment on things that they like? They'll say "oh thats good" or they wont say anything at all. Fucking turn around and tell me you hate it! Is that too much to ask? If you don't like it tell me! That's what you're supposed to do, be honest, CRUSH ME! Something might rise from the ashes..or I could just end up another wreck in a bar somewhere downing my last pint, or end up in a wreck...
Force me to look at my problems in my art, everyone else forces me to look at my problems in life, it doesn't matter to them that I know they exist, fuck gender, you think you know me..you dont! You know nothing! You all assumed and somehow thats my fault! How is it my fault if you don't ask? Life is made up of assumptions, "we'll assume that this should go here" or "I assume thats what you meant." To hell with assumptions!
Some of you will be pissed, if you knew, wow, afterall why didn't I correct it, well, whats to correct? Nothing...NOTHING!!! Make me whole, make me one, make me nothing!
I hate hypocrites. Campaigning for the rights of another but you can't be with that person? How can you say that you're behind something if you can't even look at the person your fighting for? God damn it!
I wanna be interchangeable. You wanna be unique so you get a tattoo, wear black, put in a lip piercing to show you don't give a fuck. Nonconformity; right...You are one wicked free thinker! You want to be a rebel; stop being cool. Wear a pocket protector and get a hair cut. Like the kids that don't leave the library for a twenty hour stretch. They're the ones that don't care what you think.
There's my problem people, I care what you think. I care so much I plan my life around it. If your happy I'm happy right? Wait, what if I'm not? Is that bad? Will I go to hell? Am I on course to do some sort of dance with the devil for my soul? Yeah right maybe you're buried for you to crawl your way to hell I dont know, I dont care, I wanna be buried! Death and sex, the worlds most important things! Because theres nothing else to talk about and all these quiet things that no one ever knows..but you never meant a word of it.
And my thoughts run like 4 yr olds around my head train upon train upon trainupontrainupontrainuponword..and now they make no sense. I don't make sense to you. "Boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be girls with no warning girls will be girls will be guys will be boys that don't cry over toys that they use to beat girls they despise by the morning. They always said that sex would change you."
Well I guess its time for a "beam me down scotty" moment seen as You all probably think I crazy or at least more neurotic than you ever did before. I always end these things by appologising for my crazines..well screw that. Deal with it.

hahahahahahahahahaha

Your promises, they look like lies
Your honesty, like a back that has a knife..

- My other account
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11892984/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11892984/ Tue, 20 Feb 2007 12:44:55 PST Yes that's right, I said Poncho. This would be my superhero name
Me and Lins have our own comic! It is the best thing since sliced bread, checkit!
Lins is Pinball Girl Super powers aided by the use of anything containing red food colouring and the ability to bounce around like a pinball!
I, Poncho, have an awesome disguise which, you guessed it, is a poncho! Fully equiped with a boomerang sombrero and detonating mustache! It's a fully functional disguise with a poncho that allows me to fly - how cool is that?!? - also my speed and strength are increased by shots of tequilla from my trusty hip-flask! However too much results in catastrophic meltdown...
Pinball Girl and Poncho to the rescue! Oh yes, with our trusty minions Tate & Lyle and Sister Strike, we combat the forces of evil! Namely Dr. Ratcrow and The poet and their evil henchman Ratman! Not to mention his army of robot cheerleaders!
And Ratman just happens to be one of Lins' boyfriends from college...killing your ex's off in comics is apparently a good way to get over them Spiderman is already beggin us for a guest spot in PG3 (that would be Pinball Girl 3) though I'm told thats largely to do with Pinball Girl's costume..
Oh yes, the next installments will follow propmtly (ha! yeah right!) on my other account
Make sure to checkit.

Your resisdent superhero,

Poncho
xx


Sparkling angel I believe
You were my savior in my time of need.
Blinded by faith I couldn't hear
All the whispers, the warnings so clear.
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door.
There's no escape now,
No mercy no more.
No remorse cause I still remember

The smile when you tore me apart.

You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realise.
It was all just a lie.

Sparkling angel, I couldn't see
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me.
Fallen angel, tell me why?
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door
There's no escape now
No mercy no more
No remorse cause I still remember

The smile when you tore me apart

You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realise.
It was all just a lie.

Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

This world may have failed you,
It doesn't give you a reason why.
You could have chosen a different path in life.

The smile when you tore me apart.

You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realise,
It was all just a lie.

Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

- My other account
]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11810393/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11810393/ Wed, 14 Feb 2007 13:03:13 PST All Hail Abby!!
Why you ask?
Maybe it's because she's so nice and so damn purdy!
Maybe it's because she's just cool!
Maybe it's because she's obsessed with stationary....Don't ask, I didn't!
OR! Maybe its because she's made me this super duper, absolutely awesomeness CSS Journal!!
I mean come one! How damn cool is this?? I am in awe and sooooo fricken hyper I cannot sit still!
So run minions! Worship to your hearts content!

Disclaimer: I do not think you are all my minions and should worship me (and Abby) and do as I tell you. You are free, to do as we tell you, you are free, to do as we tell you! - sorry sidetracked there...

Hahahahaha!!!

But seriously, thank you soooo much Abby I heart this journal!!! It makes me happy hardcore! lol You're the best! I'll send you some British stationary!


Please understand
This isn't just goodbye
This is I can't stand you
This is where the road crashed into the ocean
It rises all around me
And now we're barely breathing
A thousand faces we'll choose to ignore

Curse my enemies forever
Let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation leaves me overjoyed
With fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroy

I listen to you cry
A cry for less attention
But both my hands are tied
And I'm pushed into the deep end
I listen to you talk but talk is cheap
And my mouth is filled with blood
From trying not to speak
So search for an excuse
And someone to believe you
In foreign dressing rooms
I'm empty with the need to

Curse my enemies forever
Let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation leaves me overjoyed
With fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroy

Curse my enemies forever
Let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation is leaving me overjoyed
With fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroy

Please understand

Lay rotting where I fall
I'm dead from bad intentions
Suffocated and embalmed
And now all our dreams are cashed in
You swore you wouldn't lose then lost your brain
You make a sound that feels like pain

So please understand
This isn't just goodbye
This is I can't stand you

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11785029/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11785029/ Mon, 12 Feb 2007 11:22:52 PST You left your light on
You know I'm here
The night is thin
I know you're alone
I watched the car leave
Your lover is gone
Let me in

Open your back door
I just need to touch you
Once more

I want to come over
To hell with the consequence
You told me you loved me
That's all I believe
I want to come over
It's a need I cant explain
To see you again
I want to come over

I know your friend
You told her about me
She filled you with fear
Some kind of sin
How can you turn
Denying the fire
Lover I burn
Let me in

Open your back door
I just need to touch you
Once more

I want to come over
To hell with the consequence
You told me you loved me
That's all I believe
I want to come over
It's a need I cant explain
To see you again
I want to come over

I know you're confused
I know that you're shaken
You think we'll be lost
Once we begin
I know you're weak
I know that you want me
Lover don't speak
Let me in

I want to come over
To hell with the consequence
You told me you loved me
That's all I believe
I want to come over
It's a need I cant explain
I wanna come over
To see you
To see you again
I want to come over

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11734473/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11734473/ Thu, 08 Feb 2007 12:15:37 PST Stars that shine above you light the ground
That your laying on while
Looking up at me

Slurring thoughts til they bled
Cuz I love the taste of red
And you’re stuck inside me
Like a splinter does
Drawing words on your back
Spelling you my heart attack

I dying to love

The part that you’ve been playing has me dazed and missing you.
But now you’re gone, gone, gone.

half-remembered lies.
A burning heart deceived me and you really put me on

I want to touch you, want to breathe you,
Say, "Fuck you I don’t need you - get out

if we should meet again way on down the road.
Do me this one favor and pretend we never knowed.
I’ll say that you remind me of a girl I knew so long ago,
But now she’s gone, gone, gone

I wanna take you for granted

Aim your gun at someone else's head
Place you knife in someone else's back
I won't sleep for fear of dreaming,
I won't sleep for fear of dreaming of you

What you do on your own time just fine, my imagination's much worse

you spend your time falling in love with imaginary people

There will be other guys
Who will whisper in your ear
Say they'll take away your sadness
And your fears

They may be kind and true
They may be good to you
But they'll never care for you
More than I do

Still see the promise in your eyes
And still wonder if it's for me
But I know it's still there
Even when you sleep

So I say, good night sweet girl

But the one thing that I will most willing prove, that when you are gone I’ll be fine without you

I dont need no alibi - I'm a puppet on a string

Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet, cut myself on angel hair and baby's breath

But I threw you the obvious, just to see if there's more behind the, eyes of a fallen angel, eyes of a tragedy, here I am expecting just a little bit, too much from the wounded

Oh, don't be shy, let's cause a scene, like lovers do, on silver screens

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways

I don’t wanna take advice form fools

My head lies to my heart
And my heart it still believes
It seems the ones who love us are the ones
That we deceive

Have a dream I'm falling down, on my face, scrape my knees, scrape my hands until they bleed, cause you're fast asleep next to me

I begged you not to go, I begged you, I pleaded

The boy was in the hallway drinking a glass of tea
From the other end of the hallway a rhythm was generating
Another boy was sliding up the hallway
He merged perfectly with the hallway,
He merged perfectly, the mirror in the hallway

The boy looked at Johnny, Johnny wanted to run,
but the movie kept moving as planned
The boy took Johnny, he pushed him against the locker,
He drove it in, he drove it home, he drove it deep in Johnny
The boy disappeared, Johnny fell on his knees,
started crashing his head against the locker,
started crashing his head against the locker,
started laughing hysterically

Life is filled with holes, Johnny's laying there, his sperm coffin
Angel looks down at him and says, “Oh, pretty boy,
Can't you show me nothing but surrender ?”
Johnny gets up, takes off his leather jacket,
Taped to his chest there's the answer,
You got pen knives and jack knives and
Switchblades preferred, switchblades preferred
Then he cries, then he screams, saying
Life is full of pain
He picked up the blade and he pressed it against his smooth throat
Our lives are now entwined, we will fall yes we're together twining
Your nerves, your mane of the black shining horse
And my fingers all entwined through the air,
I could feel it, it was the hair going through my fingers

looked at my hands, and there's a red stream
that went streaming through the sands like fingers,
like arteries, like fingers

He lay, pressing it against his throat (your eyes)
He opened his throat (your eyes)
His vocal chords started shooting
The scream he made (and my heart) was so high (my heart) pitched that nobody heard,
No one heard that cry,
No one heard (Johnny) the butterfly flapping in his throat.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11720557/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11720557/ Wed, 07 Feb 2007 09:46:37 PST Forced to grow up.
Forced to face facts.
Forced to get over it.
It's always the same shit
Nothing new.
Everything's broken and I can't hold this together.
I'm through with games.
I don't want to play anymore.
Give me something real.
Give me life.
Give me love.
Give me that gun.
Death isn't the answer when you're already dead.
Endless. Pain. Torment. Stress. Pressure. Lies. Deceit. Humiliation.
Cry.
And then do it all over again and againandagainandagainandagainandagain.
This is life.
This is love.
This is a brokensymphonyofsound.
I am lost.
I have nothing if you leave.
I have nothing.
I bought new shoes.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11667152/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11667152/ Mon, 05 Feb 2007 10:32:27 PST
So what did I do about it?
I got another account.
Now I am at a loss as to what to do with it, however I had a genius idea right now, did I, I did. I figured seen as I started doing some "different stuff" I could put it up on my other account, how unbelievably genius is that (operative word being unbelievably)?

checkit.

All rush to watch it!
I'm in a sarcastic mood right now..
OhmygoddudeIdeletedlikeeverything!!! Well five things..
Feel free to re-fave nah? Ok whatev.
I'm a runaway train on a broken track..
I eat carnies for breakfast!
I'm back to being bored..
I'm leaving.


I have (I have) you breathing down my neck (breathing down my neck)
I don't (don't know) what you could possibly expect under this condition so
I'll wait (I'll wait) for the ambulance to come (ambulance to come)
Pick us up off the floor
What did you possibly expect under this condition so

Slow down.. this night's a perfect shade of
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning down
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning 'til there's nothing but dark blue..
Just dark blue

This flood (this flood) is slowly rising up swallowing the ground
Beneath my feet, tell me how anybody thinks under this condition so
I'll swim (I'll swim) as the water rises up, the sun is sinking down
And now all I can see are the planets in a row
Suggesting it's best that I slow down

This night's a perfect shade of
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning (burning) down
Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning dark blue

We were boxing
We were boxing the stars
We were boxing (we were boxing)
You were swinging for Mars
And then the water reached the West Coast
And took the power lines (the power lines)
And it was me and you (this could last forever)
And the whole town under water
There was nothing we could do
It was dark blue

Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning (burning) down
Dark blue
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you
I said the room could be burning now there's nothing but dark blue

If you've ever been alone in the dark blue
If you've ever been alone you'll know (you'll know)


So this is me tagged..

1. I miss my English classes at school and all the stupid stuff me and my friends did together. It sucks when you realise everything changes. "What we are never changes, who we are is always changing"

2. I have a new discovered obssession with Jack's Mannequin. I like the music and it's fitting I guess.
"I deconstruct my thoughts and I am walking by
On Third Street, the freakshow thrives
Santa Monica's alive, but
Something's not so right inside"


3. I'm immensly shy around new people, I just don't talk. I don't know why, my mind just goes blank. Maybe it cause I just dislike people more and more I don't know.

4. I have seen a car floating in mid-air...seriously, my car, yesterday, was....different.

5. It takes me a long time to start a new piece fo art work once I have finished the previous, hense the lack of work in my gallery. I'm just not all that enthusiastic about it anymore, When I have done something I like I do feel really good, but it doesn't seem to be enough to get me to do more.

6. At random times I can come out with a lot of rambling and nine times out of ten it ends up in my journal. I cannot however, just write like this when I want to, it just comes upon me and I do it. It's the same with writing anything semi-good, it just happens at random.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11635831/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11635831/ Wed, 31 Jan 2007 13:54:15 PST The precious collection you've housed in your covers
My simpleness threatened

And the bags are much too heavy
In my insecure condition
My pregnant mind is fat full with envy again

But I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
I can't help it...you're my kind of man

Wanted and adored by attractive women
Bountiful selection at your discretion
I know I'm diving into my own destruction

So why do you we choose the boys that are naughty?
I don't fit in so why do you want me?
And I know I can't tame you...but I just keep trying

Cause I love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
I'm on your list with all your other women
But I still love to wash in your old bathwater
You make me feel like I couldn't love another
I can't help it...youre my kind of my man

Why do the good girls always want the bad boys?

So I pacify problems with kisses and cuddles
Diligently doubtful through all kinds of trouble
Then I find myself choking on all my contradictions

Cause I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
Share a toothbrush..youre my kind of man
I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Make me feel like I couldn't love another
I can't help it...youre my kind of my man

No I can't help myself
I can't help myself
I still love to wash in your old bathwater

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11565125/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11565125/ Thu, 25 Jan 2007 13:31:24 PST
Well I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand
Did it make it any easier to leave me where I stand?
I guess there might not be too many who would stand beside you now
Where'd you come from? Where am I going?
Why'd you leave me till Im only good for...
Waiting for you
All my sins...
I said that I would pay for them if I could come back to you
All my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming

Every night these silhouettes appear above my head
Little angels of the silences that climb into my bed and whisper
Every time I fall asleep, every time I dream
Did you come? Would you lie?
Why'd you leave us till were only good for...
Waiting for you
All my sins...
I said that I would pay for them if I could come back to you
All my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming

I dream of Michelangelo when I'm lying in my bed
Little angels hang above my head and read me like an open book
Suck my blood break my nerve offer me their arms
Well, I will not be an enemy of anything at all
I'll only stand here

Waiting for you
All my sins...
I said that I would pay for them if I could come back to you
All my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming

I'm gone

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11492622/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11492622/ Fri, 19 Jan 2007 16:09:06 PST
I'm drunk right now, I am, really and completely, and I dont care how many of you think thats cool or not, how many of you think its a good idea or not, i just dont care what you think. I dont care what any of you think of me right now, I could be abnoxious, annoying, stupid, mean, evil, I dont fucking care!!
I realised something tonight, I realised it like it slapped me in the face, I cant tell you what it is because then I appear a fool, and she would love that I'm sure. But no. I realised this feeling that wasn't all that momentous, it wasnt the greatest thing I have ever felt at all, no, instead it's ripped at my chest, striving to reach my heart lying below the surface, a heart I thought was out of order, a heart I thought had gone hard, had withered, died, crushed, but no, it still beats, much to my disappointment.
It beats for what I want , what I yearn for. It will not stop, it hurts, cuts me like a knife - if I want to be unoriginal - if wanted to be original I would say it cuts me like a searing poker, one that is dragged through my skin to form the gash that weeps and bleeds. itis raw and it pentrates right to the heart, cuts me to the quick? I dont know. But either way it fucks me up, you fuck me up. You break me over and over and then leave me, a wretched mess upon the floor. Love certainly does lie bleeding in my hands, it seeps through my fingers on to the ground below, so much of it that it drowns me, swallows me whole.
I suffocate in this feeling, I can't breathe, and you know nothing, you do not know how you have affected me, you don't care. Love as I can not, feel as I do not. I have been laid bare by these revelations, you have inadvertedley shown me myself, shown me my love, my passion, I have lived hiding from my own true self, become a creature beyond passion. But here I am, naked and bare, with nothing to hide my true feelings, nothing to calm the lust, the love that I feel and god how I hate myself for it, how I hate you.
And no, you know what, I'm not ok, I'm not right, I am the fuck up you so rightly claimed, and trust me darling this time I am being careful what I say, fuck what emotional problems I may have, I dont care. Screw it. And now, I'm done.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11472312/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11472312/ Wed, 17 Jan 2007 15:34:31 PST what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking, feeling

spin me 'round again
and rub my eyes,
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first

oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines (you won't catch me around here)
blood and tears
they were here first

Mmmm what d'ya say,
Mmmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm what d'ya say,
Mmmm that's all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm what d'ya say?
Mmmm that it's just what we need
you decided this
Mmmm what d'ya say?
Mmmm what did she say?

ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
midsweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling
no I don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a bit

(hide and seek)
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
midsweet talk, newspaper word cut outs

(hide and seek)
speak no feeling
no, I don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a bit

(hide and seek)
oh no, you don't care a bit
oh no, you don't care a bit

(hide and seek)
oh no, you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit
you don't care a bit

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11449274/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11449274/ Mon, 15 Jan 2007 15:13:39 PST I guess that I get this way
I need a rooftop I can look from or jump off
I guess that I get this way

What's the problem, dear?
Are you feeling unloved?
That's what I was most afraid of

I need a fresh arm I can slice up or cut off
I guess that I get this way
When my skies are crooked my scars turn blue
I guess that I get this way

What's the problem, dear?
Are you feeling unloved?
That's what I was most afraid of

That's what I was most afraid of

That's what I was most afraid of

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11433209/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11433209/ Sun, 14 Jan 2007 10:32:38 PST Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
Sitting all alone inside your head

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
Sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel? that is the question
But I forget you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in,
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
Sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real, so much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
We thought came from the heart,
But never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises (no more sad voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember its just different from what you've seen.

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
Sitting all alone inside your head

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
sitting all alone inside your head

Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
Sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah

Who are the stars?
Who are the stars?
They lie…

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11371935/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11371935/ Tue, 09 Jan 2007 08:08:01 PST Gently I go into that good night
All our lives get complicated
Search for pleasures overrated
Never armed our souls
For what the future would hold
When we were innocent
Innocent

Angels, lend me your might
Forfeit all my lives to get just one right
All those colors long since faded
All our smiles all confiscated
Never were we told
We'd be bought and sold
When we were innocent
Yeah

This prayer is for me tonight
This far down that line and still ain't got it right
And while confessions not yet stated
Our next sin is contemplated
Never did we know
What the future would hold
Or that we'd be bought and sold

We were innocent
Innocent
We were innocent

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11352980/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11352980/ Sun, 07 Jan 2007 17:17:18 PST I don't know why I feel like I need to make these sorts of decisions now, it feels like there isn't a lot of time left, like I have to start making decisions about all these different things, which I don't fully understand, or know how I feel about them and I therefore don't know how to make these decisions.
It's like all this pressure to succeed and do thngs and improve has come out of nowhere and I know I'm putting it on myself, or I think I am, and I don't know why, I don't understand. I can't go on doing nothing, but I can't stand this feeling of uneasiness.
I'm freaking out slightly because of all this, because of this new found pressure, and so it certainly isn't helping me in anyway, I'm possibly becomming even more neurotic. No psychiatry is not needed. Direction is needed in my life right now, however loose that direction may be, I need it.
There's so much I want to be but getting there just, it isn't clear at all right now and the feeling that time is running out is only getting stronger.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11301689/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11301689/ Wed, 03 Jan 2007 13:54:32 PST Im to fast for y'all

2 Fast 2 Furious
2 Fast..aww
I'm too fast fo y'all

You just came home from doin' a bid
Tell me what u gonna do?
Act a fool
Somebody broke in and cleaned out your crib
Boy, whatchya gonna do?
Act a fool
Just bought a new pair and they scuffed your shoes
Tell me whatchya gunna do?
Act a fool
Now dem cops trying to throw u in dem county blues
Boy, watchay gonna do?
Act a fool

Talkin' bout gats, traps, cops, and robbers
It's 911 please call a doctor!
Evacuate the building and trick the pigs
Since everybody wanna piece, we gonna split ya wigs
See some fool slipped up and over stepped their boundaries
You about to catch a cold?
Stay the fuck around me
Your peeps talkin' bout what kinda shit he on
You disappear like poof,
Bitch be gone
You think 12 gonn' catch me?
Gimme a break
I'm supercharged with a hide-away license plate
It seems they wanna finger print me and gimme some years
They'll only get one finger while I'm shiftin' gears
I got suade on my roof, wood grain on the dash
Sheep skin on the rug, only grainin' the stash
Hydrolics all around, so I shake the ride
We go front, back, and side to side

Some punk just tripped up and made ya spill your drink
Tell me watchya gonna do?
Act a fool
Now your car just stopped on an empty tank
Boy, watchya gonna do?
Act a fool
If you got late bills and you lost your job
Tell me whatchyour gonna do?
Act a fool
If your about to get drunk and you ready to mob
Boy, watchya gonna do?
Act a fool

Lets take it to the streets cause I'm ready to cruise
Just bought me and my car all some brand new shoes
And the people just stare, so I love to park it
And I just put a computer in the glove compartment
With my pedal to the floor, radar on the grill
TV in the middle of my steerin' wheel
It's my car's birthday so we blowin' them candles
More speakers in the trunk then my ride can handle
Got my name on the head rest- read it and weep
NOS tank in the back, camel hair on the seat
And when I pull up to the club, I get all the affection
'Cause the women love the paintin'- they can see their reflection
I'm about to take off so f what you heard
'Cause my side mirrors flap like a fuckin' bird
And the fools, we gonna clock one and we'll pop one
'Cause my folk ridin' shot gun with a shot gun

You just got hustled for a wad of cash
Man, watchya gonna do?
Act a fool
Now your friends just smoked up your brand new stash
Say watchya gonna do?
Act a fool
Now them girls up the block still running they mouth
Boy, watchya gonna do?
Act a fool
If anybody talk bad bout the dirty south
Tell me what I'm gonna do?
Act a fool

I got my eyes wide shut and my trunk wide open
Did donuts last week and the streets still smokin'
See, I'm up on anti-freeze and my car is tipsy
On the off ramp doin' bout a hundred and fifty
Rollin' through East Bay, on my way to Ben Hill
Slide a 5 to the junkie to clean my windshield
Got the whole crew ridin' and we startin' shit
I even got a trailer hitched with the barbeque pit
Now all you wanna do is get drunk and pout
Plus your new name is Fire 'cause we stomped you out
And yeah, we blow trees and bees, that's fantastic
So girls hold yo weave while I'm weaving through traffic
I kicked to fifth gear and tear the road apart
You be like Lil' John Q and get a change of heart
It's 1 mission, 2 clips, and some triple beams
I'm about to blow this whole shit up to smithereens

The pot holes in the street just bent ya rims
Tell me whatcha gonna do?
Act a fool
Man, that ain't sticky, that's sticks and stems
Boy, whatcha gonna do?
Act a fool
Catch your man with another bitch up in your bed
Ladies, whatcha gonna do?
Act a fool
If the bottles are all gone and your eyes are red
Boy, whatcha gonna do?
Act a fool!!!

2 fast...2 furious
2 fast
Act a fool!!!

2 fast... 2 furious
2 fast
Act a fool!!!

2 fast... 2 furious
2 fast
Act a fool!!!

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11271967/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11271967/ Mon, 01 Jan 2007 09:25:09 PST Writhing in agony.
A demon
A minor demon,
Is pinning me there
Fucking with my head
Abraxas,
He says...
"I'm Abraxas, the demon of lies and deceit.
So what do you want to know about lies my dear?"
I am not a liar, I try to get up. This time I'm flayed, splayed. I feel myself screaming.
"I'll tell you about lies. There are white lies and there are black lies... and many shades of greay lies. But some lies are justified, lies told out of kindness, lies that preserve dignity, lies that spare pain.
Everybody's a liar dear. Look at that one. She's about to tell her lover something patently untrue. Look at their gestures, see how they touch each other too intimately, they avert their eyes and cover their mouths, they lick their teeth and hold their chins."
They embelish their stories with far too much detail.

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24 http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11220168/ http://thebestdeceptions24.deviantart.com/journal/11220168/ Thu, 28 Dec 2006 08:26:07 PST I just dream of vanishing into the crowd
Longing for home again
Home, is a feeling I buried in you

I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe

And I can't ask for things to be still again
No I can't ask if I could walk through the world in your eyes

Longing for home again
Home, is a feeling I buried in you

I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe
I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe

My window through which nothing hides
And everything sees
I'm counting the signs and cursing the miles in between

Home

Home, is a feeling I buried in you, that I buried in you

I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe
I'm alright, I'm alright
It only hurts when I breathe, when I breathe
Yeah, it only hurts when I breathe, when I breathe
Oh,it only hurts when I breathe

]]> ~thebestdeceptions24