http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:themusicman90&section=today deviantART RSS for by:themusicman90 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 03 Dec 2009 03:36:54 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/28283166/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/28283166/ Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:53:36 PST
All my life things have happened, mostly without huge effort on my part. College was supposed to change that. I've been thrown into failing situations and was expected to do what was necessary to dig myself out. I didn't. I got out of the class and moved on.

I heard today from a friend from high school that I haven't changed at all. Specifically that I don't try. At first, I disagreed. I thought I had made good progress at getting out socially and making friends. Turns out I really haven't. I'm still unable to talk to the girls that I know will be recurring characters in my life for fear of pushing them away and, in that abstention, alienate them. I fail at what really matters to me. Interacting with people.

Everything I do is more fun with people around. They don't have to participate, but the idea that they're around me is comforting and relaxing. I can't make it happen. I have to latch onto others and associate with their friends.

I find myself pretending that I'm happy until nights like these where I turn everything off, go to bed, and lie awake thinking for three hours about how I need to turn my life around, but never do come morning. I don't know what I'm waiting for, or looking for in comments, but I hope it comes.

I take pride in my work, but rarely do it. I put forth effort, but forget to finish. I live a hypocrisy. I want to change it, but I don't know how to start it. I've tried to take more active approaches, tried to be bold and outgoing, but find myself wishing that someone would show something back.

]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/26285511/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/26285511/ Thu, 30 Jul 2009 21:01:38 PDT
I'm on my third try to watch the series. Every other time, I couldn't keep my interest up. I just realized why. None of the characters are fun to watch. Kamina is the epitome of the blind leading the blind. He knows nothing about what he's doing, stumbles around to victory, and it inflates his ego. Yoko is the epitome of fanservice. OMAILOOKBOOBS! Now, I have no problem with boobs. In fact I think they're pretty rad. They should not be half of your character. Simon is the only one with real inner conflict in the story so far and all it does is keep him from doing anything. Kamina resolved his when he accepted his father's death, and Yoko's is just an extension of the boobs. She is the love interest for Kamina. She has no other part in the series as of yet. Now, I know that its only 5 episodes in, not even a quarter of the way, but honestly, where is the character development, or even the room for it?

The first plot advancement point after the party is introduced is Final Boss Let's Go! Now, I'm perfectly aware that this is probably not a problem for what the series intends but lets be honest here. That is a bad idea. For one, humans are scarce on the surface for a reason. It isn't because they decided it was too hot out one day and hid underground. It's because there are fucking mechs running around steppin' on people. Then some shmuck kid finds a little drill-y mech and suddenly everything falls into place? Now, don't even get me started on the combat scenes. These should be bread and butter for mech animes and I haven't seen a good one yet.

Summary of combat:
Simon scared. Kamina encourages him or yells about something. Yoko gives up on Simon and tells him to run. Simon flips her the proverbial bird and accidentally wins. Kamina worships himself.

Once I got to episode 5 I think I found why people watch this show. For everyone besides the main characters. There was a good rich storyline, conflict, resolution, and a decent fight scene. A little deus ex machina, but that was kinda the theme of the episode right? Anyway, the character for the priest was deep and conflicted, the same for Rossiu. They both know the truth that is hidden from the rest of the village and resolve their own conflicts. There was good dialog and a plot device I personally love, that of a harmful truth that people are sheltered from, is central to the episode.

I really hope this plot thickens, because otherwise it validates some of the most generic arguments against anime. Simple plots, little character development and depth, random crazy antics, and very vague direction. And its extremely popular.

Now, this isn't always bad. The problem comes when there is room for depth in the series. Dragonball Z was the epitome of one-dimensional anime. People fight each other, and you can't do it. They shoot hella lasers from their hands. They yell a lot. Goku wins epically. This has metaphors in it all over the place. The most common one is heaven. Over and over I see the surface alluded to as "heaven." They could do so much with this in the main characters. Kamina or at least Simon, who followed society pretty well in their original town, could ascribe to the almost religious aspect that it gives off and Yoko could play the "truth" aspect of what it really is. Instead they instantly become jaded about it once they see it. This series throws away perfectly good conflict without replacing it and at the end of the day, thats what interests us. That is why we watch something fictitious, to see unreal people deal with unreal problems. Take out the problems and you get a 5th grade story that goes "and then they did this, and then they did this, and then they did this" while seeming to try for more.

Either get some new plot or lose the attempt at depth and go for Super Sayian levels of awesome. Right now I just can't commit.




===========================================================================================



]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/25383501/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/25383501/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:23:21 PDT
1. What does your deviantART name mean and why did you join this site?
it means that i was looking for a commonly unused name. broken down: "the" there is only one of me, "music" i lieks it, "man" indicative of my actual gender, "90" year of birth although you'll have to guess the century.

2. What fandom were you obsessed with when you joined and what are you into now?
shoot lemme check my faves... I guess that was around the time of Avatar and Brawl.

3. How many watchers do you have now?
six. i know them all personally.

4. Name 3 of your favorite artists on DA.
hmmm for the art style and the witty banter, for the sheer out-of-left-field-itude and for the broken english and broken wit in his comics.

5. Do you comment, fave, or both?
i comment more than i fave and i comment when the mood strikes me. honestly i'm hard to please.

6. Do you participate in clubs' contests here on DA?
nope.

7. What is your most popular deviation?
A Dream. i had a weird nightmare(?) and actually remembered it long enough to write it down.

8. What are your favorite non-anime TV shows?
Scrubs, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Royal Pains.

9. What are the things you wish you could draw better?
I don't draw.

10. Summer or winter?
Winter. people actually want to be in physical contact. you can ogle whomever you want in summer, but winter is just made for... ... hugs.

11. Rain or Sun?
Sun. More pleasant to play Capoeira in.

12. What's your favorite type of music?
Rock like Blink 182, Alternative Rock in general, and Indie Rock.

13. PC or Mac?
PC. I don't draw and my band isn't together yet.

14. Anime or Manga?
If i like the series manga. If i need something to do anime.

15. Coke or Pepsi?
Dr. Pepper. end of story.

16. Read or TV?
I read. TV is background noise.

17. How many hours a day do you spend on DA?
not much. its mostly however long it takes to catch up with my watched artists and check the front page.

18. Name a hidden talent.
i can play music?

19. Flash or traditional cartoons?
see question 14, flash = anime, traditional = manga.

20. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
Burger King or Wendies. although i do try to avoid them.

21. What are your top 3 favorite books?
Eternity Code by Dan Brown
The Aeneid of Vergil (it grows on you)
Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

22. Wii or Playstation?
Wii, then PS2. i have no working knowledge of PS3

23. Name 3 of your favorite bands.
Blink 182, Coheed & Cambria, Death Cab For Cutie.

24. Are you a fast, slow, or medium typer?
Oh, i'm pretty fast. you can still follow my fingers, but i can code at a good speed.

25. Do you like Denny's?
Yes. only there would you find the time to plan a porning of someone's room.

26. What is your favorite emoticon?
XP and

27. What do you want to be now?
employed

28. If you could eat one person, who would it be?
hmmm. i'm going to use an alternate meaning and say... Sarah Chalke

29. What character would you hate to be stuck in a room with?
any flamboyantly gay male. it'd just be awkward for a while.

30. When is your birthday?
May 10. now if you can guess well you can figure out my age.

31. Favorite type of ice cream?
Whatever the special of the day is, unless its coffee flavored

32. Last book you read?
Brisingr.

33. Which store would you max out a credit card at?
I'd have to say Pac Sun. I need new look plz.

34. Do you buy / sell / both on eBay?
Don't trust people. nope. i do not.

35. What is the most annoying thing people ask you?
Used to be my major, but now that i'm in... ]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/25382977/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/25382977/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:45:43 PDT
]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/25281827/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/25281827/ Fri, 12 Jun 2009 21:47:42 PDT
My dad was a huge Super Mario Bros. fan in college. I mean HUGE. Like he makes me proud huge. Anyway, he garnered the nickname "Jewish" because of his tendency to grab every virtual coin. Why? Who knows? Perhaps it was because of the starving college syndrome where any money is good money. Maybe he just liked the little "ba-DING" sound it makes every time you grab one. Not the point of this particular rant. Maybe another day. To fulfill some miscellaneous interview requirement for something.

Anyway, he always told me that it was fine to use that because one of his frat brothers, and fellow SMB enthusiast, was actually Jewish. Now I can understand that it's OK in that setting, and to his credit, that's about the only place it comes up. The point of discussion comes when I hear about this nickname and, before I react, my mom validates it with the aforementioned statement of friendship. Maybe she saw the certificate. I hear they're impressive.

Wouldn't this at best, not mean anything? It's still a stereotype of all Jews. I mean, who's to say that Nicolai Goldberg(read: fictional) wouldn't be horribly offended by this, whether you had a Jewish friend or not? I mean so you have a friend and he doesn't care. That's one Jew out of all of em. And I know there are less of them around since the 50's (too soon?), but still. I mean couldn't it be argued that by taking that stereotype to a jovial level you're actually hoisting that friend by his own petard (read: parentage)?

This is merely a question for all those who understand the protocol of this type of story and all the ones used in that stand up comedy I love so much. How does this work?

]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/25207048/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/25207048/ Mon, 08 Jun 2009 21:50:44 PDT
Now, short of the blank in the place where a name would be and the happenstance that someone actually has the same screen name as I do, how many times have you read this "about me" section of a profile? Too many. It has become the societal norm for people to feel a compulsion to prove that they are not to be trifled with. That they're "hardcore" or "badass". Pride and self-love are infused in every sentence of this. I'm going to spell out all of my best qualities. That way you know exactly what I'm either the most proud of, or what my friends and I agree is the best type of person to be. "There's a lot to me", but I think I can sum it up pretty quickly; I'm deep but simple.

None of this actually says anything about the person behind the paragraph. These are all vague adjectives and stereotypes that can be applied to anyone who deigns to pick them up. Strong character: who doesn't have it? With all of the pride and bravado running through culture these days can anyone really have a weak character? Loud, nerdy, and fun. Again all glittering generalities that could easily be turned to fit any single person. A mute person could describe themselves as loud because they wear vibrant clothing. Apparently not being a meat head is enough to qualify to be nerdy. (A side note: didn't this use to be a bad thing? Does anyone else remember the pasty white, spindly, bespectacled youths always kicked around in old TV shows?) Fun. Who would in their right mind say anything else? "Well I'm kind of boring, but I think people like me anyway."

And the cou de gras; "And I don't care what anyone thinks of me". This one is my favorite. "Pay no attention to the description of my best qualities preceding this, it doesn't actually matter to me what you think of me. Unless of course you're favorable. Then your opinions mean the world to me." Everyone cares what people think of them. It affects every relationship in day to day life. Do you know what a relationship is if you don't care? Silence. You don't care so you don't contribute. I wish more people actually knew that they cared. At least then they could actually be "upfront about who I am".

]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/23657316/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/23657316/ Thu, 12 Mar 2009 10:24:46 PDT
1. Put your iTunes/music-player-equivalent on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag your friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the note from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"I Believe in a Thing Called Love" - The Darkness (oh god i cannot sing that high)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"Long Tall Sally" - Little Richard (uhmmmm.... what?)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Same Old Song and Dance" - Aerosmith (yea. i'm pretty simple. pretty face is key. no preferences on hair color.)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Wart Hog" - Ramones (hmmm... wart hog.... pig.... hungry? hungry. i am hungry today.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Apologize" - OneRepublic (man i'm gonna mess up a lot in life aren't i? either that or my future girlfriend/wife will always be right.)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"Welcome Home" - Coheed & Cambria (makes sense. i like coming home best about travelling.)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Death of a Martian" - Red Hot Chili Peppers (little green men beware )

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Newport Living" - Cute Is What We Aim For (not anymore. i didn't go to college there. stupid delayed reactions in the music cosmos. )

WHAT IS 2+2?
"Let's Ride" - Alygen (irony that the refrain is "300 horses in the sky?" or crazy-random-happenstance? you be the judge)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Used to Love Her" - Guns 'N' Roses (ok this one is correct )

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Remember (Walking in the Sand)" - Aerosmith (i'm going to assume that is referencing my desire to have a reason to go to the beach. and not that i'll have to remember them fondly. )

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Mad World" - Gary Jules (oh yes. but only in respect to the areas of romance is it the depressing Gary Jules version. everywhere else it is the upbeat Tears for Fears version.)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Best of You" - Foo Fighters (I AM BECOME YOUR BEST!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Decadence" - Disturbed ()

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Teenage Lobotomy" - Ramones (homg! )

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"That Time" - Regina Spektor (i could see that. if i danced. maybe i'll be able to by then.)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Sunday, Bloody Sunday" - U2 (hell yea. i'ma be rockin in my coffin.)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Where We Went Wrong" - The Hush Sound (reminiscing about my every failing. i'd call it more of a pastime than a hobby. i don't get much enjoyment...)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"My Girl" - The Temptations (I have one. In my closet. I’m not worried about her escaping either, for obvious reasons.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Be the One" - The Ting Tings (you must be numbah one. staht thah reachtah!)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"Home Again" - Attack! Attack! (yea. moving back in with my parents would suck.)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Kim and Jessie" - M83 (death by two hot girls or by a homicidal serial killer couple. either way i demand a movie made out of it.)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"Sweat the Battle Before the Battle Sweats You" - Cute is What we Aim For (its true. i let the battle sweat me and i ended up in his sweat band. i think i met one of my exes there... )

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
"The Unheard Voice" - Story of the Year (its funny because it may or may not exist. if a voice screams and no one cares to hear it....)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"What if We Could" - Blue October (propositions with potential are a very sad thing.)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"Puppet" - Thousand Foot Krutch (godammit i told you gepetto i will not marry pinochio. stop ask... ]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/21445897/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/21445897/ Tue, 11 Nov 2008 20:31:39 PST
]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/20733367/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/20733367/ Sun, 28 Sep 2008 22:32:47 PDT [link]

]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/20209322/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/20209322/ Thu, 28 Aug 2008 20:40:10 PDT [] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[ ] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger
[ ] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[ ] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[x] I'm in school
[ ] I have a job
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[ ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired

Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[x] I was born with a disease/impairment
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctor's office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.
[ ] I've had measles

Traveling
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day. (Probably o.0)
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[x]I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been Skiing.
[ ] I've been in a play.
[x] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten sushi.
[x] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[x] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[x] I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
[ ] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[ ] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
[ ] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed.
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.... ]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/19191563/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/19191563/ Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:46:15 PDT
All the Best

Clubs I'm In:

]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/19125020/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/19125020/ Mon, 30 Jun 2008 10:11:06 PDT
]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/18919280/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/18919280/ Wed, 18 Jun 2008 20:13:25 PDT
I feel as if I have accomplished very little of what I should have in the past four years. And yes I can hear the indignant cries of "You're too hard on yourself", "Yes you have now shut up about this stupid depressive thing", and "OMG NOWAI you set up your life the bomb of awesome" *author's aside: OK not so much the last one, but if only, that would actually make me laugh.* and the cries themselves are a small comfort that at least my 4 fans believe me a success.

I, myself, however, judge myself on the impressions I leave and so far it seems that I have lived up to the Magic: the Gathering card Leave No Trace. I always feel like that guy that people like only because he's a good source of laughs in the awkward, "why would he say that?" style of humor. I love helping people figure things out, and have helped an acquaintance of mine through his final project recently, to which he says I have his undying gratitude, which is always nice, but I, being the cynical old conspiracy theorist trapped in a newly legal teenager, expect to find this to be short-lived, no bearing on the guy himself - I think the world of him.

Another aspect of the constant idea of self-meaninglessness that I place myself in is that of romance. Now, I know that I am no hunchbacked Igor handing tools and body parts to a deranged Frankenstein, however, I find myself trapped in a paradox of love. Somehow I both think myself below the leagues of every girl I have ever been interested in, while still believing that I have a chance at winning their favor. This of course leads to this inevitably influencing the methodology of my "flirting", if it can be called such, and ultimately ends with my utter disappointment. In the four years of college, I have had as many girlfriends, all of which last less than a month, and all of which can be summed up in a word a piece. In order: psycho, forced, painful, and curt relationships have left scars all while leaving total less than a work week of good memories between the four. I blame this, of course, on my inability to control myself in a romantic environment, either staying too removed or diving headlong into what turns out to be a brick wall disguised as a caring thoughtfulness.

I find it sadly pathetic that for all I profess that I do not care for the high school environment, I envy those who are at home and flourishing in it. Those who seem to have high school coming and going in a masterful arsenal of responses that come so naturally that very few of them require a thought. I long for the simple yet loyal relationships that these people share. I have always had to think extensively about everything down to the desk I choose on the first day of school to make sure I give a good impression while not seeming devoid of common sense. To no avail. My sense of sheer out-of-placed-ness pervades the very airs around me.

As I venture into a college I am very excited about, I find myself nervous. I was very eager to escape my high school, yet I find my school of choice to be a common one with the vast majority of my contemporaries. Damn. I actually refused to go to one school because it reminded me too much of my own high school in its entirety.

One overwhelming fear I have is becoming a statistic. Those "One out of X number of Y types of people do or have experienced Z negative thing". I constantly imagine a gruesome death that can await me whenever I place myself into a semi-dangerous position. Stepping into the street I imagine a plethora of crashes and imagine the results on others that I hope to have touched. I find myself tying this to a fear I have recently put a picture on. I fear a small and pointless death. Willie Loman of Arthur Miller's "Death of a Salesman" pursues a career of which he is ill-suited, pressures his children to greatness beyond them, and (and this is my largest fear of sharing with Willie) has a funeral attended by those who are directly related to him alone and those he spurned. His wife and two sons are the only ones to at his funeral besides his neighbor, Charley, who has been caring for Willie only to be snapped at and derided.

*Deep breath* thank you all for attending this showing of self-pity. Through a period of my life I have created a phrase I believe to describe my standings, whatever they may be, very well.

All the Best to All the Worst.

]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/18082762/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/18082762/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 08:01:13 PDT
]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/18059133/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/18059133/ Sun, 27 Apr 2008 17:20:42 PDT



Create your own visitor map!





]]> ~themusicman90 http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/15234174/ http://themusicman90.deviantart.com/journal/15234174/ Fri, 26 Oct 2007 19:10:56 PDT
]]> ~themusicman90