http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:theskycriedstars&section=today deviantART RSS for by:theskycriedstars en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 07 Dec 2009 04:17:05 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/28652253/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/28652253/ Sun, 29 Nov 2009 13:39:20 PST I'm going to change that. I'm going to make a conscious choice to be more active in my photography and writing.

Wish me luck.

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/26689628/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/26689628/ Wed, 19 Aug 2009 10:15:51 PDT
Things are going so well. It's hard to believe this summer is almost over. This has been the best summer of my life. I am in the best relationship of my life. I have great friends. Life is amazing and I am continually amazed.

Anyway, I'm back. That was the gist of this journal.

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/24884761/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/24884761/ Fri, 22 May 2009 03:53:36 PDT when you take your lips from mine
and I guess that I don't really need to know
all the reasons why, 'cuz when they're open
I feel like I'm falling straight up through the sky.

It isn't you.
It isn't me.
It's not a memory of who we used to be.
And I'm not asking for anything untrue.
Just a little time to spend with you.

There's something in the way I can stay all night
and when the sun comes up I should go home
and I don't wanna say goodbye,
but I know that in the morning you'll be waiting for my call
and I'll be fighting not to say I love you, all of you, already.

And it isn't you.
It isn't me.
It's not a memory of who we used to be.
And I'm not asking for anything untrue.
Just a little time to spend with you.

I can feel you at the heart of every breath I take
and I want to be near you every moment I'm awake.
I don't usually believe in happy endings, but
this has got to be close

because it isn't you
and it's not me.
It's not some memory of who we used to be.
I'm not asking for anything untrue.
Just a little time to spend with you.

All I really want is you.

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/24118406/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/24118406/ Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:04:55 PDT and cares to know this kind of information
but, I'm divorced.

It's not completely official,
but it's mostly official.

I've signed three rounds of papers
it'll be submitted at the end of this month.

It's good stuff.

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/22909493/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/22909493/ Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:44:51 PST I've been wronged all year, tedious
nights, nothing but rough elbows in them
and delicate boxes of Kleenex calling crybaby
crybaby, you fool!

Before today my body was useless.
Now it's tearing at its square corners.
It's tearing old Mary's garments off, knot by knot
and see - Now it's shot full of these electric bolts.
Zing! A resurrection!

Once it was a boat, quite wooden
and with no business, no salt water under it
and in need of some paint. It was no more
than a group of boards. But you hoisted her, rigged her.
She's been elected.

My nerves are turned on. I hear them like
music instruments. Where there was silence
the drums, the strings are incurably playing. You did this.
Pure genius at work. Darling, the composer has stepped
into fire.

-Anne Sexton ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/21518096/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/21518096/ Sun, 16 Nov 2008 12:27:48 PST body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones,and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like,slowly stroking the,shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh.... And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

-Cummings ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/20101031/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/20101031/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 18:14:15 PDT I'm beginning a new job. I've worked for three shifts at the Library Coffeehouse... I've performed at their open mic for more than a year and this was my fourth time applying. I'm morning manager now. I feel so blessed.

I'm also beginning the fall semester, my third semester, at BSU. I'm excited about that, as well.

I'm sure that there are other things waiting to begin that I'm not even aware of yet.

Bring it on.

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/19604825/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/19604825/ Sat, 26 Jul 2008 10:14:46 PDT The people who made the biggest deal about it were Nick, Justin, and the people from work. That was cool because I was at work when it was midnight... we happened to be on break. Everyone sang me happy birthday. Then when I got home Nick sang me happy birthday. Also, the week before, Nick took me to see the Flobots as a present. That was neat. Understatement. That was a really great night.
I don't feel that much different from eighteen to nineteen. I think that in about six months it'll feel different. I don't think birthdays matter much past eighteen. Maybe past twenty one. Who knows?
Another exciting thing... on Monday I'll have been married for a year. That's way more important to me than my birthday.
I wish that my life was getting less confusing as I get older, though. I feel like I haven't made that much progress in a year, but I guess I have in some areas. It's rough. I want to be a much more moral person than I am. I want to have a clear head. I don't think it'll ever happen. I think life will get more complicated and I'll just have to keep up. Dumb.
I hope this next month goes by quickly.

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/19146414/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/19146414/ Tue, 01 Jul 2008 12:21:48 PDT I suppose I'm excited about it.
I'm not excited that the hours are so intense.
9:00 pm - 5:30 am.
Yea.

Ouch.

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/18053685/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/18053685/ Sun, 27 Apr 2008 11:37:09 PDT of bottles and bottles,
and cans upon cans,
Somewhere, among the
countless camel cartons,
and the wrecks of past meals,
he lays splayed,
arm across his face,
riding out the storm behind his eyes.

Home.
Where the air is thick,
with the stinging smell,
of stale pabst and cigarettes.
Where every inch screams

'All of you, away.
Leave me in my fortress
of aluminum and glass.'

But when they enter,
to see his state:
Disaster, of mind,
and life alike.
When they brush away the ashes
and nudge the refuse back,
to make a place for their feet,

let them come and see.
Only a coward
sweeps his shame under the rug.
This is bravery,
this public diary of excess.
This is courage,
this mess.

Roger Sims

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/17228753/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/17228753/ Fri, 07 Mar 2008 17:44:17 PST the passing of another ghostship.
But we see nothing. It's as if a curtain had been dropped.
Go back into yourself, it says. None of this matters
to you anymore. All that drama, color, movement-
you can live without it. It was an illusion,
a tease, a lie. There is nothing out here but smoke
from the rubble that was everything,
everything you wanted, everything you thought
you needed. Ships passing, forget it.
Children bathing, there's no such thing.
Let go, your island is a mote of dust.
But the horns of the ghostship say, remember us,
we remember you.

-James Tate

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/16641120/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/16641120/ Wed, 30 Jan 2008 09:31:23 PST
I was watching for it, everytime watching, for the neck that was bent, for the nape that was bare. The hand holding a cup was holding a thin cup, then the cup was broken, and the fluid gone. So things were the same--eyes stayed blue, limbs retained their curves, slacks and sleeves. Someplace more thoughtless something would happen, less full of couches and women and legs. The windows were waiting, and the lamps, and the hat donned once, discarded, and the hesitant hips, and the whisper which forebore. For all was intent, potential, not fulfill.
I go out sometimes, like a shadowless ghost, less remnant than lip, in the incomparable midnight of intransigent mist, and the doomsayers and lockpickers, cloudlike in clairvoyance. Lad, you keep the latch hanging, keep the curtain drawn. Beyond blue night, when the puppets are sleeping, the stars all coiled in their tremulous wheel, the thin moon summers in my goldenest gaze, awakening dreaming oceans, to drown, to roam.
Sky-eyed scholar, pale Confucius: Put down your book.

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/16512651/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/16512651/ Mon, 21 Jan 2008 20:21:20 PST
she was the perfect woman
until he discovered she had a mania for flesh
he'd come in late at night. she'd be gnawing away at it
under the covers

she kept jars of it in the medicine cabinet
and when she kept telling him she had a headache
he would lay there looking at the ceiling, knowing what
she was really doing

sometimes she'd snatch a bite in public
one day they were visiting mutual friends
she dropped her purse and it fell open
all that red bloody black flesh on the carpet. it was
embarrassing
so that night he decided to tell her that it was no good,
over, finished

and as he mounted the dark stairwell leading to her living
quarters
he hesitated. but no, he thought. she loves me

she had crouched behind the door, and as he walked past,
she sprung

she stored some of the fresh meat in the drawer by her
typewriter
she put some chunks of it in the bowl by the bed stand so
she could munch on it while she watched tv
she wrapped the rest of it carefully in tin foil and stuck it in
the freezer

looking into the mirror she let out something like a bark.
well, she thought, i never lie to them. i always tell them
what i am.
they never believe me.

-Wanda Coleman

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/15944521/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/15944521/ Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:45:08 PST Anyway, it's finals week so I won't be super active, but I have a few shots to put up sometime soon. I really like them.
I have a cool idea for a series and I'm going to do them over Christmas break... because I need to do some photos just for me, not for money. Then I can make them however I want them to be.
I'm in a band now. We have a show on the 20th and I'm really excited about it. The music is incredible and so are the people.
My life is only getting more complicated.
I've been thinking... a lot. I mean, unhealthy amounts of self-reflection. I remember this one person always telling me to stop thinking. It's probably a good idea, but I can't afford to right now. With everything that's going on I have to be so introspective. I hate most things about me right now.
I don't know what direction I'm heading in.
I don't want to make a mistake, I'm afraid I made one.. I don't know. I am just so confused. I feel like I'm wasting time.

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/15742066/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/15742066/ Fri, 30 Nov 2007 22:18:33 PST So... if you happen to feel generous, please buy me a month or two... but if not, then don't expect much for a while.

Sorry.

]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/15254753/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/15254753/ Sun, 28 Oct 2007 08:46:17 PDT
I just wanted to say I'm sorry to them... they won't read it, they won't know. But, I am sorry.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/14955249/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/14955249/ Sun, 07 Oct 2007 13:40:34 PDT Anyway, she's a doll and she's pretty.

I was listening to Sugarcult the whole time I posted the pictures.... so I apologize for the Sugarcult saturation.

Also, I'm looking to pretty much demolish my gallery and only keep ones I really feel are good. So, I'm hoping to get rid of about 200+ pictures. If I delete one you really like, let me know and I'll think about putting it back up.



-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/14853624/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/14853624/ Sun, 30 Sep 2007 09:51:52 PDT
My style is changing. It's been a long time since I've taken pictures.

Let me know what you think.

(PS... married life is good!)

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/14056334/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/14056334/ Tue, 07 Aug 2007 08:38:11 PDT
-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/13653222/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/13653222/ Sun, 08 Jul 2007 00:29:33 PDT
-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/13478160/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/13478160/ Tue, 26 Jun 2007 22:33:38 PDT WARNING: This is a rant and I am sorry. I've gotta say it so I don't explode.

<sub>I can't wait to forget you.

On second thought, I probably never will. Here's why... because I was never the one making the decisions about 'us'. I never had a say in whether we were together or not, and that's not even something I can complain about or blame you for. You left every time. Period. Even when we were just talking, you told me when you wanted to and when you didn't. But, here's how it went this time... you told me you wanted to talk, to get 'closure' and then it never happened. Not only that, you ignored me or whatever. It's not even ignoring, it's just nothing. So, to say that I ever put you on hold makes me laugh. I've been on hold for 3 years.

Until now. Now it's over. Now I'm done waiting, I'm done even thinking that you're ever going to make a firm commitment about anything. Yes or no, the answer is irrelevant because the decision was made that summer, it's already over. It's been over for a long time. It's so stupid that I'm still having to rehash this for myself.

I am so happy. I am so content and taken care of. You could never take care of me like he does. You know why? Because he thinks of me first, then himself. His first concern is me. That's the difference and that's why he's perfect. He makes me feel like a beautiful human being that's worth waiting around for, that's worth waking up 10 minutes earlier to see me before work and that's worth wasting $5 to buy me ice cream on the way home. Someone that's worth committing to for the rest of his life because that's what I deserve. Someone's life.

So, I guess this is an answer, but in a way it's just the beginning. It's the beginning of me saying how I really feel and not caring whether you think I'm wrong. Your perspective is flawed because you are selfish and childish, you said it yourself. I honestly hope that you are happy and that you live a life that's not empty, that's not torn by indecision. I hope someday you don't have to live in the past because it's an ugly place. I'm not being sarcastic, I really mean this.

Here's the real truth:

You can't wait to forget me.</sub>

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/13157351/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/13157351/ Wed, 30 May 2007 21:49:49 PDT
At my wedding.

I don't think it's going to happen though, because they're like $600 a day and I don't want to spend that much money on chocolate. But, they're so cool.

Oh gosh I'm conflicted.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/13056261/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/13056261/ Tue, 22 May 2007 20:38:18 PDT By now you would think that I would be up
But my bed sheets shade the heat of choices I've made....
What did I find?
I never thought I could want someone so much
Cause now you’re not here
And I'm knee deep in that old fear
Forgive my indecision..."

I can't do this. I'm so far gone from who and where I want to be. There's an apathy that's sinking in deep and it's scary to think that this may be what the rest of my life will be like. I think I'm just in a 'mood', whatever that means, but I feel desperate for destruction.

There's something so tragic.

What's nice, though... is that I really am only two months away from not having to think about this ever again for the rest of my life. Then I can just fall into him and disappear. I think for the first month I'll stay in bed all day and just sleep to forget. My dreams really aren't that much better, though.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/12889129/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/12889129/ Tue, 08 May 2007 14:48:33 PDT I have to say this... and I'll only say it here.

When I have to cry on stage, the forced tears that wouldn't have come any other way,

all I have to do is think of you.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/12806212/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/12806212/ Tue, 01 May 2007 17:07:02 PDT I'm having a tumultuous week.

I've got a new job, I got it yesterday. It's actually my first job. I'm really nervous. I feel... young and clean.

I'm so excited to be with Nick. He's so romantic. He's the guy I read about in all those books, watched in all those movies, and dreamed of, cried for, whatever. He's breathtaking and I love him.

I don't like how I've had 3 people not like their senior pictures. I might stop taking them. I guess I'll be out of highschool in 13 days anyway. It won't matter. But, it's making me feel really insecure. I guess it's just my style.

I don't like the situation that I'm getting into. I believe the past should stay behind me, and mine is breaking into my life right now. I don't know how I feel, I don't know what to do or what to say. I feel captured... like a bird.

I've got some new pictures up, look at them. And yea, those seniors didn't like them.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/12658571/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/12658571/ Thu, 19 Apr 2007 17:55:28 PDT 99 days til the big day.
Wow.

Pray for me. LOL.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/12015402/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/12015402/ Thu, 01 Mar 2007 15:14:57 PST Breaking Benjamin

<sub>I really like that word. It has a bunch of different meanings and I think it's an incredibly feminine word. I know, it seems like it just means tame... or boring... or still. But, it has so much more. I love it.

Plus, it was Nick's birthday yesterday. I bought him a phone. It's pretty sweet. I love him.

The musical I'm directing runs next week. I'm nervous. I'm working so hard. I hope it all comes together.

I'm getting married on July 28. I think. I hope. It all depends on the location. I'm so excited.</sub>

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/11828013/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/11828013/ Thu, 15 Feb 2007 10:40:51 PST
-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/11712194/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/11712194/ Tue, 06 Feb 2007 15:54:23 PST
My editor creates significance where there is none, and dulls down events that truly shook me.

I am thankful to this place inside of me to a certain extent, but I believe it is this place that refuses to let me let go... for good.

The memories I have, they probably aren't real at all.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/11486560/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/11486560/ Thu, 18 Jan 2007 19:20:48 PST I do believe that I've lost that ability.

I hope not, though.

Someone should inspire me. Give me a cool line. Or a cool idea.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/11280342/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/11280342/ Mon, 01 Jan 2007 19:59:16 PST
-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10890126/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10890126/ Wed, 29 Nov 2006 12:26:53 PST Click me.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10824052/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10824052/ Thu, 23 Nov 2006 14:12:31 PST
I'm thankful for my family,
my friends,
my love,
and I'm thankful for my God.

Those are things I pray I will never forget.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10738600/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10738600/ Wed, 15 Nov 2006 20:06:36 PST
I feel like people play off of each other, they try to seduce, entice, belittle, nit-pick, and talk each other to death. I had a friend say today that they honestly felt like poisoning someone. It's generally ridiculous to think about killing anyone and I'm so tired of this middle ground I've had to occupy for so long. I'm so torn and so full of love.

There is so much hate in the world. I don't understand the need to propogate it with gossip and lies, with exaggerations of the truth and with manipulation. Most of the time it's about your own issues anyway. I wish I knew how to say all this without hurting her feelings. Anyway, it's all nonsense now.

I am so in love with Nick that I'm making the same mistakes I always do. I've got to stop because this means so much more to me than anything ever has before. Tonight I just wanted to hold onto him forever. I can't wait until I can. Mmmm, beautiful.

I feel so severely, with such intensity, that sometimes I cry and it's for nothing. They're, well, I wouldn't say wasted tears, but they're just... there! I can't explain it.

I think that's all for now.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10705449/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10705449/ Sun, 12 Nov 2006 20:01:55 PST I don't care about your problems or your issues or whatev.

You're not my friend, really... you're just someone I know. Someone I talk to.

So, please stop kissing my ass...

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10641117/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10641117/ Mon, 06 Nov 2006 19:41:47 PST Probably the day after.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10553097/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10553097/ Sun, 29 Oct 2006 20:33:09 PST "Paper wings, all torn and bent, but you made me feel like they were heaven sent."

<sub>So, Halloween is soon.. yea, I'm having a costume party at my house.
I got my costume all squared away. It's pretty hot, let me tell ya.
So, I'm going to take pictures.
I have wings.
Someone told me that if I got a black wig I'd look like Amy Lee.
I hope not.
Anyway... I'll take some pictures and stuff.

Also, thanks everyone for supporting me. It's pretty cool to actually have a fan base. I enjoy it.

Alright, g'night.</sub>

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10424065/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10424065/ Tue, 17 Oct 2006 14:08:49 PDT
<sub>I feel really weird.
I don't even know how to describe it really.

I just... am so sad.

I have no reason to feel this way. I don't know what mental subconscious crap is getting in the way of me being happy... but I seem to be very sad.

Oh, I uploaded some of the shoot with Grace. I'm not unploading them all, just my favorites. It's my first paid gig. I already have another one almost finished.
So, I'm excited about that.

But, it doesn't make me happy.

Nick makes me happy. I guess. Like, I know I love him, but I feel so sad.

Also, I'm scared of everything. I mean EVERYTHING. I can't sleep.

I need help.</sub>

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10406000/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10406000/ Sun, 15 Oct 2006 20:32:42 PDT I'm sorry, I've been busy taking pictures.

I'll have a buttload soon. Don't even worry.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10197668/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/10197668/ Tue, 26 Sep 2006 20:22:10 PDT
<sub>I just got back from California. I was at a family wedding, so I have some cute bridal shots waiting to be uploaded. I had to catch up on some AP homework 'n whatnot.
Oh, just something to mention... Nick asked my parents if he could marry me.
I just picked out some rings.

Yea... just thought I'd mention it.</sub>

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9999758/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9999758/ Thu, 07 Sep 2006 14:58:16 PDT Stay tuned for a couples session. They're cute.
This is my wedding present to them.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9938028/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9938028/ Sat, 02 Sep 2006 07:36:44 PDT As you may have noticed, I've been taking a lot of pictures. I'm doing model work right now... it's much easier to do now that I'm in school and seeing people again. Plus, lots of people like their picture taken.
I'm also going to try charging for a session... something I haven't done before.

I really hope you all enjoy my people series. They're... I just love them. I love working with people. I think it's challenging to make someone comfortable during a session... but I love when people start working WITH you and move without you telling them. I love that.
Anyway, I'm planning on shooting two more people this weekend.... and I still have to put up 'Andrea'. So, yea. Enjoy.

I'm really happy and busy.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9835163/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9835163/ Thu, 24 Aug 2006 04:54:30 PDT Mood: Relaxed

_{Well, I'm super officially a senior. I'm not too excited about my classes, but I'll be alright.
I'm just hoping I won't miss Nick too much now that he's not at school anymore.
I'm also hoping that I don't slack off.
I hope that I also (switched it up that time) have a fun time. Sometimes I don't.
Alright, I'm going to try and take some pictures today... after I clean my room.
I'm way late for an update.}

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9697469/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9697469/ Sat, 12 Aug 2006 00:41:19 PDT Listening to: Paper Bag - Anna Nalick

Yea, so I'm back.

I'm missing ALL of my luggage except my camera.

Yes, I had to go through security with the 'orange alert'. Yes, I was patted down.

I can't wait to talk to everyone, but my cell is in a bag somewhere... on... Earth.

I took some pictures. About 700 of them.

I'm tired.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9547868/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9547868/ Sun, 30 Jul 2006 21:49:09 PDT Mood: good
Listening to: Green and Yellow and Pink and Stuff

<sub>I'm feeling really good and I'm also sort of let down.
I was trying to figure out why my prints aren't working, and ended up viewing my print statistics. I haven't sold a single thing. People made me pay money to get stuff printed and said they'd buy magnets... specifically magnets, yes... and no. Not one thing.
I feel like I suck.
Anyway, I've got some great pictures from my camping trip this weekend that I'll put up soon. They're ALL with my new camera, which only 2 pictures have been out of the last little bit I put up. It's incredible. I love her. my camera, that is.

Alright, I'm going to go shower. I smell like feet.</sub>

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9505995/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9505995/ Wed, 26 Jul 2006 21:55:08 PDT I recently got my telephoto lens in the mail. It's pretty neat... and so, with my new camera and new lens, I will be taking pictures. Tomorrow... and then I'll have to buckle down and get them posted.
I wish I knew how to use it yet! wow, it's great.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9484994/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9484994/ Mon, 24 Jul 2006 23:59:05 PDT
-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9466515/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9466515/ Sun, 23 Jul 2006 09:43:06 PDT Mood: yay

_{It's my birthday.}

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9442325/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9442325/ Thu, 20 Jul 2006 21:36:36 PDT
Mood: generally good

<sub>I'm involved in the Misoula Children's Theater. They're in town and we're putting on 'The Frog Prince'. I'm Princess Prim. I'm thinking about asking to be called that. It's interesting, I play someone that I hope is completely opposite of who I am. Maybe she's not. I don't know.

It's definatly really fun working with teenie tiny kids. They're so dang cute. There's a girl there that seriously reminds me of someone and it's unnerving. Like, I was trying to figure out who it was that they looked like and then bam... wow. Memories.

I'm having the time of my life.</sub>

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9349259/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9349259/ Tue, 11 Jul 2006 23:26:00 PDT Watching: Pirates of the Carribean

I have had an amazing day.

-Jaci

(PS. I can't draw. I'm sorry.) ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9317203/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9317203/ Sun, 09 Jul 2006 00:53:02 PDT Mood: relieved

I am so glad to be home.
I had so much fun in Yachats. The ocean is just as magical as I remember it being. I belong there. I think there's something about the sand and the wind that makes me feel so peaceful and content. It also energizes me. I feel like running everywhere I go.
Nick and I had beach fires almost every night, until way early in the morning. We'd make them out of dead grasses and driftwood so sometimes they smelled like ocean water and dead bug things, but it was beautiful. We'd kiss or sometimes listen to songs on my iPod. Nick peed on the fire to put it out and it smelled like a porta potty in July. It was pretty nasty, but fun. I think those fires are the best fires I've ever been around. Also, I love smores.
I have a new appreciation for private bedrooms. I also enjoy showers that don't leak all over the floor. I like shoes that don't have sand in them and I think long walks on the beach are probably the most soothing thing, ever... although they take a lot of energy. Running on sand is really quite hard.
I am not sad about the whole Prague incident anymore. I think I've come to accept that this was supposed to happen. I learned so much about myself this week and I learned a lot about Nick, about family, and about what I want for my future. It's really motivated me. I couldn't be happier.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9237553/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9237553/ Fri, 30 Jun 2006 23:56:14 PDT Mood: not coherent.
Listening to: In My Head - Anna Nalick
Reading: Anna karinna... or whatever. :/
Watching: n/a

I think I do believe in fate. I believe in divine intervention and I believe in serendipity (although it was a horribly predictable movie). I think fate can be misunderstood as coincidence and so can God. God and fate may very well be one in the same. God steps in and we all call it fate and fall in love, when really it was Him trying to make our lives a little easier.

The baby aliens on 'Dreamcatcher' look like vaginas with teeth. Lots and lots of teeth. That's what Nick pointed out to me when we watched that movie two nights ago. Teeth... ick. That's disgusting.

Well... I'm going to Oregon tomorrow and I'm going to miss hanging out and going bowling. I should find a bowling alley in Oregon. I'm finally hitting pins and not falling over so it'd be worth the effort.

In the past month I've met some of the coolest people. I just can't believe how lucky I am. Every day is like this huge present, wrapped up in sky and clouds and I'm just so happy. I can't wait to be sad because I know that it'll be short and I'll be happy again. I'm full of joy and peace and hope. It's probably because of Nick and maybe bowling.

I think if I fix the roots on my head, my hair will melt into one big giant piece of hair and then fall off and shatter. Yea, it's that fried. I can't wait for it to grow out, but I guess I'll have to wait... huh? Ha.

That's funny.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9194133/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/9194133/ Mon, 26 Jun 2006 22:54:33 PDT Mood: Sad.

So, I'm not in Europe. I'm not even on my way to Europe. There's a lot of things I feel about that, but basically I'm ok.
Here's the story. I got to the airport with Nick and Mom and Dad and Nick's parents, and then as I was checking in... getting my tickets and stuff... I showed the guy my passport. Apparantly my passport was issued when I was younger and instead of it being good for ten years, it was only good for five. So, obviously I can't leave the country with an expired passport.
I was devastated. I cried. A lot. So, basically I'm not going to Europe and my dad stayed home to see if we could get my passport situation straightened out, but we wouldn't have been able to go at a time that my mom would've been there. She had to leave on the flight we were booked for. Dad stayed and Nick stayed... just for me. Dad is leaving to go tomorrow, but Nick isn't. I feel bad, even though I know it's not my fault and there's nothing I can do.
So, as an alternative... Nick's family is letting me come with them on their vacation to the Oregon coast. I love the ocean, and I've never been to the Oregon beaches.. only the CA beaches, which are very different so I've been told. It will be fun. I'm really grateful to get to go.
It was a good day, after I got done crying. It was really sad.
So... I'll be writing everyone postcards from Oregon, which is good... too.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8924730/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8924730/ Tue, 30 May 2006 20:49:08 PDT Mood: Energetic/Bored

<sub>Comment and I'll...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.

Bleh. I ate too much.</sub>

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8871187/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8871187/ Thu, 25 May 2006 07:22:07 PDT Mood: Energetic/Bored
Listening to: Your Name Here (Sunrise Highway) - Straylight Run
Reading: Anthem - Ayn Rand

<sub>Rules:

The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly.
In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names.
Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours.

1. I buy CDs and never listen to them until I find out I like them from some other source (radio, friend, friend's radio...)

2. I like being bitten in the ear.

3. I hate my astronomy class because the teacher has ginormous inner-tube lips and it distracts me.

4. I feel inadequate when running with my boyfriend because he's crazy athletic and I'm... an artist.

5. I'm a pathelogical liar.

6. I secretly wish I could never have a job and be a career student.

I tag... erm... oh hell, whoever reads this.</sub>

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8656582/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8656582/ Tue, 02 May 2006 20:46:12 PDT Reading: The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand

even the worst people don't deserve to be hurt so badly.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8645083/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8645083/ Mon, 01 May 2006 21:06:21 PDT Mood: my boyfriend is sick
Reading: The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand

Well, Nick is getting really really sick and he sounds HILARIOUS. He's all low and then all the sudden he's really high. It's puberty. He gets mad when I say that.

So, I'm probably going to get sick, too.

I'm going to get some pictures up this week. I have a TON of new stuff... mainly because I dyed my hair AND went to prom... so yea.

It's platinum blonde.

(UPDATE) Nick is in the emergency room right now. Something's really wrong. I'm scared. I prayed for him.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8580873/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8580873/ Tue, 25 Apr 2006 12:08:39 PDT Mood: ouch

So, my headache yesterday landed me in the emergency room. I had a CAT scan. Good news! I don't have a brain tumor. Bad news: I'm officially diagnosed with migranes.

I'm getting new glasses today.
I'm getting my hair dyed today.
I'm tired.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8573647/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8573647/ Mon, 24 Apr 2006 17:32:14 PDT
Mood: ouch

1. I usually pay more attention to people when they swear in their speech patterns.

2. I don't like watermelon flavor, only actual watermelons.

3. I hated chocolate until I was 9, which is also when I stopped sucking my thumb.

4. I go to scary movies just to be freaked out, then regret it later when I can't sleep.

5. I take personal gratification from the fact that I DDR better than all my friends.

6. I work for my mother.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8561548/ http://theskycriedstars.deviantart.com/journal/8561548/ Sun, 23 Apr 2006 13:47:59 PDT Listening to: Shh - Frou Frou

Sunbeam, stop tugging me.
Pull that door shut quietly.
Darling, what are you doing?
We don't have time for this.

Crazy? Well what are you then?
Give me an hour and I'll give you your dream...

Don't make a sound.
Shh listen.
Keep your head down.
We're not safe yet.
Don't make a sound
and be good for me.
'Cause I know they're waiting somewhere out here.

Leave it I won't go back.
We have to do it 'cause there's nothing left here.
Don't care what do they know.
I've seen it, baby, and I know it's real.
Showtime, I knew they'd come.
Woa, are we having fun or what?

Yeah...

Don't make a sound.
Shh and listen.
Keep your head down.
We're not safe yet.
Don't make a sound
and be good for me.
'Cause I know they're waiting somewhere out here.

I feel good all over.
I feel good all over.
I feel good all over.

Wear your inside out.

-Jaci ]]> =theskycriedstars