http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:thrasherr&section=today deviantART RSS for by:thrasherr en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 23 Dec 2009 05:55:27 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/26882444/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/26882444/ Fri, 28 Aug 2009 19:09:56 PDT
i'm way too used to fucking shit up.

"We all become important when we realize our goal
Should be to figure out our role within the context of the whole
And yeah, rock and roll is fun, but if you ever hear someone
Say you are huge, look at the moon, look at the stars, look at the sun
Look at the ocean and the desert and the mountains and the sky
Say I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye"

this will resolve itself into being # seven.
eventually, all will be understood.
if i can even get there.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/26535868/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/26535868/ Tue, 11 Aug 2009 20:25:14 PDT so i threw a party saturday night with my friend, and we got like... 80 dollars worth of liquor and beer and dropped 50 on weed and then got sheas hookah over. so a lot of kids come and i generally sucked at life, but i had a lot of fun.
so by about 10, i was so drunk i almost passed out in this chair, but i couldn't cause i was smoking weed, right? and then i threw up all over her back yard and shit haha. (i brought this up to show that i was super fucked up really, really, early.)

but whatever, so i go back downstairs cause i was bored with the people outside, or we agreed to go downstairs or something, or someone had just gotten there. and we go downstairs and everythings dandy and im sitting next to shea and mason and this other kid and someone fuckin knocks over the hookah and burns holes ALL over laurens carpet.
thats how we got fucked. thats how her parents found out and called mine.
i also had to clean up SO much puke, like, it was everywhere. ewww.
on the front door, in the flower beds, ON MY FEET, by where these kids were sleeping. whatever. haha.

so im grounded for a hella long time. maybe i'll actually keep up with this.
OH, so, what helped with this was i pierced a few things my parents didn't know about and they found out about it a week before the party went down.
lets just say im not going to atmosphere....
which is a bummer.
god i have some funny pictures from that night though.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/25364230/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/25364230/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 00:40:25 PDT i wonder if we see the same clouds after twelve hours? or if we ever see the same clouds.

night time night time night time.
my hands are shaking, but they always are.

"it was twenty years ago today..." they had it right.

sleeping soundly. being awake. existence. cause we fuckin live here!!! HERE!

what are trumpets made of?

we'll talk about these dreams another day.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/25171308/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/25171308/ Sun, 07 Jun 2009 00:22:31 PDT but,
when i get back i'm going to try really hard to do some more photography.
um.
i'm really happy.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/24566919/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/24566919/ Sun, 03 May 2009 13:32:16 PDT

things are neutral and simple.
i want some turkish jadess

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/24228151/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/24228151/ Mon, 13 Apr 2009 20:04:34 PDT responding is usually a good thing.

by the way.
given the chance i might explain all of this to you.
I wonder if you want to know.
hmm.

also.
you're fucking amazing.
and you probably forget that a lot.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/23960988/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/23960988/ Sun, 29 Mar 2009 23:52:11 PDT thank you for finding a paintbrush though, it was a close call.

also, cemetery cats don't like it when you try to rub their stomachs.
see- scratches on my wrist.

i'm entirely in love with the universe.
and bob dylan.

and henry david thoreau.

half blind black cat, pouring rain, jazz screaming on the street corners.

oh nyx, you come to me in the strangest of ways.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/23824461/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/23824461/ Sun, 22 Mar 2009 01:55:39 PDT
i have no idea how i feel right now...

this is good for me.
i have a week to think and just be.

"so this is what it feels like to leave..."

peace<3

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/23720126/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/23720126/ Sun, 15 Mar 2009 20:48:28 PDT living it is so beautiful.

there's nothing else to say

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/23602508/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/23602508/ Mon, 09 Mar 2009 01:10:34 PDT my body feels like a jungle.
this is so much that i'm not used to.

i can't really blink. i can't really close my eyes.

dear morpheus, come back to me.

if you tried to have a conversation with me right now...

ohh dear haha.

break a bone, break a life.
tell me that what you meant wasn;t what you said.
i don't make any sense.

i'm completely lost right now.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/23459673/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/23459673/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 21:43:23 PST
i'm sort of totally depressed right now.
[link]

[link]

i just broke my phone, because i'm stupid and spacy and CANNOT think.

i'm a total fucking wreck.

BUT today was beautiful.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/22921621/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/22921621/ Sat, 31 Jan 2009 11:06:59 PST its been forever since i've had time to pick up my camera.

i'm busy as shit!


and very, very, very confused.

CFDG?CDFG? WHAT?
AHHH.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/22585095/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/22585095/ Wed, 14 Jan 2009 19:16:12 PST my computer is SO weird.

today my basketball coach basically made it clear he wasn't digging practice and was like, "lets go to coles room" and then when we got there told us to take a seat and then brought out 3 gallons of milk, a package of plastic spoons, a grippaa red cups and chocolate sauce and told us to finish it before we left.
my life is SO weird.

but, otherwise...

"quoique je suis perdu, j'aime chacun..."

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/22495642/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/22495642/ Fri, 09 Jan 2009 20:51:14 PST ahhh!!!!.

shitty fucking day, i cannot even BEGIN to tell you.
THERE WAS THIS HUGE, DARK CLOUD, FULL OF RAIN ABOVE ME THE ENTIRE DAY.
"everything that keeps me together is falling apart"

i've never felt so shaky. you know?
ahh, but at the same time, i've never felt more loved then with my basketball team.
shit they really know how to take care of someone.

i also haven't cried that hard in a long time. or that much...

gragck! i feel like breaking down.

i should stop complaining.
i woke up terrified of what i could lose... and i'm going to sleep terrified that i can't get it back.

fuck this, i haven't slept more then an hour at a time since sunday.



]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/22400709/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/22400709/ Sun, 04 Jan 2009 18:08:33 PST
i don't have a resolution really, i guess it's too live on instincts.

but i have some goals.
i want to get a car for under 1,000 dollars. or around 1,000.
and some other stuff.
i want to go back to la serena so bad!

i'm so sore right now, sheez.
i ran over six miles yesterday and the day before.
i got some new basketball shoes.


i hope everything with everyone is wonderful.
i kind of want to hear about everyones new years resolutions...


]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/22130212/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/22130212/ Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:46:53 PST
there is something about chair lifts, and having a trillion snowflakes swirl around you... being wet and cold listening to the beatles jammed into a car... getting home 4 hours later then you expected too.

i love martin and shea and snowboarding.


for the record - i'm almost done with slamming. i still appreciate the art but i'm not so sure it's for me, i'm enjoying a much needed break from sports () and i think i've established some balance in my life, for not at least.

well, i'm sore and blissful.
<3333333

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/21855652/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/21855652/ Sat, 06 Dec 2008 21:41:40 PST i've been sleeping really really well.


and i got my camera back.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/21654755/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/21654755/ Mon, 24 Nov 2008 20:03:06 PST
he decided that, instead of making things easy on both of us and getting me 8 boxes of mac and cheese, he would instead, make me make it by scratch.
i guess his band has also gotten some airplay in belgium?? and apparently he's on itunes.

i'm getting ready to move out of my room for some new floors.
and, hopefully my camera will be back by next week.

i miss it!

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/21573332/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/21573332/ Wed, 19 Nov 2008 20:42:42 PST i never want to have a day like this again.

but, yesterday- two beautiful things happened.
i was talking to martin and he was like "hey hailey, i think i know how to cure your insomnia."
and i was like "how?" and he was like "get into a fight."

which makes me BEYOND happy.
<3

and, i get on the bus and shea is listening to DYLAN AND THE DEAD! and then, on the other bus we ride, he pulled out some KURT VONNEGUT.

i'm not looking forward to this Much Ado About Nothing summary.

i'm so ready for snow...
and winter.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/21446761/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/21446761/ Tue, 11 Nov 2008 21:49:32 PST
i'm very nostalgic right now.
but pretty happy.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/21210419/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/21210419/ Tue, 28 Oct 2008 23:03:03 PDT and i'm a little bit numb.
Ahahaha.

My cameras sent for repairs again, i should have a new camera soon,
or some new film soon, because almost everything has been digital lately.

maybe a cloud will take me far away.

there's something beautiful in the fact that my father asked me to save all the pumpkin for mural the squirrel. tonight the moon felt like it does at high midnight in Santiago, everything around me turns into shades of wonderful grey, like fog, or clouds of smoke and i can't hear broadway looming at the end of the block.
however, it is never quiet in santiago.


goodnight, moon.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/21100992/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/21100992/ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:13:46 PDT i want to run and go somewhere new, or just jump on a train or something.

i don't know what i want.

i want to be able to play the piano like i used to.
i want a lot of things.


i feel like a ball of self pity, and i feel really pathetic for feeling like that.

fall is the hardest season, it's beautiful and fresh but i always get this feeling, when everything else is transitioning around me and i'm at a standstill.
i should be moving too.

but i also want to scream, a lot. i'm like really hot water these days. i can bubble over really easily, and i'm constantly jittery.

i hate when my room's this trashed, and i hate current event write ups for geography, and non fiction and time. and a lot of things.

i'm being to negative, sorry.
i don't know, i don't know, i don't know, i don't know.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/20490120/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/20490120/ Sun, 14 Sep 2008 13:33:32 PDT
i feel good.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/20192096/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/20192096/ Wed, 27 Aug 2008 20:38:45 PDT
tomorrow is my first volleyball game with south. . Jv actually might have beaten Varsity today in scrimmage. I got gorgeous new volleyball shoes,

and, oh, yeah.
I saw Obama today.

my life is so great

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/20032381/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/20032381/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 22:44:44 PDT guess what i'm doing?

my summer project.

ughghghshgdhgdfhgijsdafhdiosfh.
school is just not something i want to do anytime in the near future.

so, uh, I'm not sure if I'll be in the country this time next year.
I made JV volleyball.
I've been having anxiety attacks kind of a lot lately.

I don't know what to do for my last piece of my summer project.

I haven't slept much, or well, since I got back from vail.
Which was a damn month ago.

my parents are worried I'm being to negative because I'm not totally ecstatic for school. haha.

Well. yeah.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/19831726/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/19831726/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 17:13:05 PDT my mood rings been purple since saturday, for very good reasons.
and, i'm so so so so happy.

This is basically my last week of summer, because next week I have volleyball tryouts everyday.

and then BAM, school on tuesday. :/

ha, so i found out i'm definitely dyslexic, and i'm listening to some really good jethro tull.

pysicus tonight.

man. i feel all jumpy. like biking across colorado blvd at midnight.
and i'm very smiley.
i'm never like this.

it's a really nice change.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/19497789/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/19497789/ Sun, 20 Jul 2008 10:21:26 PDT
]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/19011579/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/19011579/ Mon, 23 Jun 2008 23:24:21 PDT I probably won't be on a lot for quite a while.
I'm going to Florida on Friday with the lovely Varuna, (pastarasta on dA, check her out, she's new.) for a week, and when I return am going to Tie dye camp!
Ahhhh!!! With Martin and Shea.
Ha, it's at the art students league and the dye is really crappy, but they have a hose and a ton of dye and a spiderman ball and Martin, Shea and I have the most fun in the summer, while tie dying and such.
After that I'll get a week off, until I go to my intense volleyball tournament. 15 matches in 3 days.
Right after that the all family reunion. After that, painting for a week.
Embracing the last few weeks of summer.
Return to DSA torture... wishing I was at south except for the hour and a half of the day where I'm enjoying it.
AND OH MY GOD YOU GUYS! ASPEN MUSIC FESTIVAL IS GOING TO BE AMAZING! Bob Dylan and Ziggy Marley are both performing and I HAVE TO GO. Ahhhh!

Well, in all wonderfulness... sleeping calls.
I had a longgg day.

PS, what's an adventure that is equally epic to stealing a hot air balloon or a submarine?
Go!

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18670587/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18670587/ Wed, 04 Jun 2008 21:36:42 PDT
It's comfortably warm and my sleep tastes like strawberries. I have a bike that works again and I'm content with my solitude when I have it, and when I don't; the people I'm around are effortlessly bubbly.

Oh, and The Chosen is the best book ever, and Steinbeck and Neruda go well with ice cream and grapefruit.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18593006/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18593006/ Sat, 31 May 2008 12:09:35 PDT
last night was awful, well, lakeside was fine and fabulous and such, and when i get home I take some night time cold medicine, which is supposed to help you get to sleep.
But in a complete fit on insomnia I just keep having mini dreams of lakeside, which completely turn my stomach and make me feel sicker and uncomfortable, but I was still trying to get to sleep. Cause this dreaming was that kind of sleep where your still aware of where you are and what's going on but your dreamin' a little and stuff.

All I want to do is sleep, but I feel like I'm going to throw up.
It's fabulous out, I'll post something later tonight.


Sickly.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18438275/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18438275/ Wed, 21 May 2008 20:30:30 PDT im going to miss you.
20 years, all my life.
[link]
[link]
beautiful, bunny.
fuck dude, I hate this.
I hate pets dying and I hate the feeling that you get when you know your going to miss them.
And I hate that it's just a pet, but thats the commitment you make, you know?
God, I haven't lived a day without my kitty, seriously.

Anyone who's ever lost a pet knows that its like losing family.
The headaches will go away eventually.

Long fucking day.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18275443/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18275443/ Sun, 11 May 2008 14:50:27 PDT Sundays never belong to me.

I'll update tonight. I'll go climb out on my roof for a while, clean my room again and play around on the computer.

Woah. Play this [link]

Good day.
I'll leave you with this :You dream of the accidents. You pray for them. You hope for the accidents. In other words, the unanticipated moves: Because what that means is that the piece that you're creating is alive, it's like a child full of surprises. If it's not suddenly making its own demands and is only lying there inert, your best bet is to walk away from it and start something else."-- Chaim Potok, The Chosen

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18132557/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18132557/ Fri, 02 May 2008 12:29:03 PDT I hate sharing my shitty writing, and people always ask me too. In school, when I'm asked to do anything involving writing all my teachers are like 'Well your a creative writer, this should be easy.' or 'Share with us, everything you've EVER written must be magnificent!'
And it's really not, ever.

Winter need to go away! I hate spring, it's the most frustrating season. In winter, you know what's coming for you. In winter, you expect that time where nothing feels right, or the gray and white slashes of snow across the streets, you know there isn't going to be any robins flying around, or butterflies. You never look for a sunny day in Winter, you get used to wearing big, wool, gray coats, and make the best of the snow and indoors.
And then comes Spring, BAM. A couple of warm days and nice weather and SUDDENLY it's raining and snowing and being bi-polar. Spring is SO overrated. Everything blooms, sure, but then gets CRUSHED by the fucking random cold front. Crab apple tree's, Lilac bushes and Cherry tree's all bloom their fluorescent colors, and then rain comes and beats the new blossoms to concrete. Spring, is like that hard transition from Fall to winter all over again, but randomized. Also, Spring brings allergies to everyone. NO ONE LIKES ALLERGIES.
And we all know the most beautiful flowers and tree's bloom in summer.

Today is May 2nd, it's gray and cool. I miss the mountains.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18093249/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18093249/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:32:32 PDT Someone told me my pictures would look more 'rofessional' and though I don't care about that aspect I think some of my pictures look better.
Like sunshine... [link] and thorns [link]

but I'm really not sure if I'm going to continue using it.
I actually really want feedback right now.
Not that many people read my journal... but if you do please PLEASE tell me which you prefer.
That'd be STELLAR.

So, in other news:
I got back from Balarat today.
I'm confused about a lot of things.
I have to write a math slam tonight.

I hate my writing.

I think I might post some paintings of mine on hur. Just for grins, and to see how they're received.

Peace

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18063727/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/18063727/ Sun, 27 Apr 2008 23:39:20 PDT
I'm really mad at my camera cords.
they won't even register on my computer.
I hate it!

I'm really bored, and there's still so much laundry to put away. If there is one thing I hate, it is laundry. The entire process stresses me out for no reason and everything about it irritates me. Like the way my dryer door closes on my head every time I get something from the washer, or the way my drawers magically become unfolded.

My Language arts essay is done, finally.

Today was great, now I have to pack a lunch and maybe write for a while.

get ready for some zesty shots in a few days.

I'm cravin' some 'fling.'

Hahah, whatever that means.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17920371/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17920371/ Fri, 18 Apr 2008 23:40:12 PDT
So. yeah.

Volleyball is getting really boring, I wish I could just play for South.

I can't wait for summer!!

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17920336/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17920336/ Fri, 18 Apr 2008 23:34:42 PDT Ahh,. I hate this whole 'I'm sick' thing.
My immunity isn't doin' so good.




Surveys.

3 Things that scare me...

• House spiders
• Lauren's Dad
• Spiked drinks or food.


3 Things I like the most...

• Team sports
• Being Artsy
• Snowboarding and chair lifts


3 Important things in my room...

• My platypus
• My bookshelves
• My....window


3 random facts about me...

• I like exploring cities
• I really want a dog again
• I only wear a lot of makeup when I'm in a bad mood


3 things I plan to do before I die...

• Get published, or featured, or presented, in a major way.
• Get a boat
• Train hop across some country.


3 things that attract me to whatever sex...

• A good sense of humor
• Long hair
• Hip bones that stick out


3 things I say the most...

• Dude!
• Oh, whatever.
• Wanna hear a funny story?


3 celeb or NOT-REAL crushes...

• Um? I like real people?
• Celebrities, aye?
• I can't think of anyone.


Favourite Drinks...

• Tea
• Apple Jay
• Milkshakes ahahahaha


I might have already done this one, cause some of the questions are familiar...I don't know.

1. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
I don't really like relationships, probably not.

2. What color are your eyes?
Hazel of some sort

3. What does your last text say?
Something along the lines of 'sure bekah!'

4. Do you smoke cigarettes?
Not usually.

5. What is one thing you question?
Um, existence?

6. Do you lead people on?
Not really at all.

7. Are you married?
Always, to my piano and my tree's

8. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it?
Sure

9. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Sure

10. Is there anyone that doesn't like you because of something you didn't even do?
Thats the way it goes.

11. Do you miss someone?
Yeah.

12. Do you think they miss you too?
I don't think so.

13. Will you ever speak to them again?
I don't know.

15. When is the last time you laughed?
Recently.

17. Did any of your friends go out with your ex?
Yeah.

18. What are you wearing right now?
Sweatshirt, jeans, shirt.
Oh, typical.

19. Are you mad at anyone right now?
No.

20. How is your hair?
Strait!

24. Did you stay friends with your ex?
For a while, yes.

25. Where do you keep your money?
Money? Hahahahaha

26. Do you remember the most naughty night of your life?
Sure

27. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Either... I like going to sleep alone. But I love waking up with other people.

28. What are your initials?
HDC

29. Who/What made you angry today?
Best friends dad.

31. Ever been skinny dipping?
Oh yes.

33. What are you afraid of?
No one coming to my birthday parties.

34. What's one thing you've learned this past year?
Don't stress.

35. Do you find yourself loved?
I hope so.

36. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't suppose to?
Yes

37. Favorite smell?
Underground, vanilla, peppermint, grapefruit.

39. What's something that really bugs you?
My science teacher.

40. If you could say one thing to a certain person what would you say?
It wasn't what you think.


And one more!


Where was the first place you ever saw the person you like?
-At his house, or something.
-Downtown
-School.

What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
Kathleen!

How many TRUE friends do you have?
A lot. Actually...

Would you rather get up early or sleep in?
Where am I? It depends.

Tell me about the shirt you're wearing?
It's boring and plain and black, but my sweatshirt has unidentified animals all over it

What did you do yesterday?
School, Party.

What would you change about your life right now?
What a teacher thinks of me.

What's on your bedroom floor right now?
Posters and bags. ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17856777/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17856777/ Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:27:38 PDT
Volleyball kicked my ass today, oh my god.

My allergies are so much worse then they've ever been. Today, in volleyball we were supposed to run like... 5,780 feet or so outside and because we ran through trees, which I'm apparently allergic to, i basically started dying.

My throats pretty fucked up right now, and there's this tickle in my nose I can't get out. I keep coughing a lot, and I cough hard. Hard enough to make me tear up and almost throw up... My lungs fold inside.


Well, I'm 25 dollars ahead now and I can barely open my right eye...

My stomachs fluttering again, for the old and the new.
I don't know whether I'm content, or lonely.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17803486/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17803486/ Fri, 11 Apr 2008 22:01:38 PDT
This feeling I have in the pit of my heart, is terrifying. I've never even felt so close to being consumed... I barely know what to do.

Sometimes I just want to scream and jump and tell everyone how wonderful the world is, and other times I feel like this is something I should keep to myself.

But, you won't tell dA journal...
Not a soul.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17756526/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17756526/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:50:55 PDT
And, I'll post some more tomorrow, these will be less interesting seeing as they're pictures of my dad.
Whatever.


Right now- I'm confused.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17598529/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17598529/ Sun, 30 Mar 2008 23:05:39 PDT
and i'm really happy i did.


everythingg----is going to be alright.

Oh, jeez.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17482760/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17482760/ Sun, 23 Mar 2008 20:57:29 PDT
i could do it now, but that would mean facing all that has happened in the last week, and i don't think i can do that.
so instead, i will completely forget about capitalization and not elaborate on my very up and down week.

what i will say though is that this week has been true living, the 'no second thoughts and just do it' way.

so tomorrow i'll reconnect with liz, party it up at volleyball and try to write my chemistry play, then on tuesday i'll get my snowboard and go to lizzys. then wednesday we'll head up to winter park, where hopefully i'll get my ming off of all this shit.

then maybe on friday when i get back (to play a damn volleyball game), or saturday, i'll post these pictures and think about what's happened. maybe, but as i've learned recently a week can change everything.

so, aside from my tad bit of emo-ness i'm ready to shred winter park and i'm utterly euphoric.

in the words of my cousin-- go big or go home.
peace yall.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17384841/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17384841/ Mon, 17 Mar 2008 18:21:14 PDT With good lighting and subject matter.

:/

My thighs hurt like none other!! It's like I keep getting punched in that space behind your knee, and my legs collapse and my thighs are just achey.
Feels like I'm getting Charlie Horsed CONSTANTLY.

Volleyball was weird today though, I was getting frustrated WAYYY to easily though.

This isn't cool guys!! Everyone's leaving DSA.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17307847/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17307847/ Wed, 12 Mar 2008 20:03:36 PDT
I'll talk advantage of this!!


I'm SO sick of running on 2 hours of sleep. Every time I blink it burns and my mind spins and suddenly I'm in this orange tunnel.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17254197/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17254197/ Sun, 09 Mar 2008 10:55:12 PDT
BLAH

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17243083/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17243083/ Sat, 08 Mar 2008 16:10:43 PST

And I cannot even believe how much everything is changing.

All I can say is, I'm going to miss it man.


Youth Slam Tomorrow night! Oh wow. I'm so nervous and stuff, I don't think I'll get on. Both my new poems are pieces of shit, :/

Monday's volleyball.

I already miss basketball though.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17148485/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17148485/ Sun, 02 Mar 2008 12:09:18 PST
Yesterday I tie dyed a lot. And spent a lot of time on a trampoline. I really wish I lived at Martins house. Seriously though.

Yesterday was so summery. The only bad thing about this is my curtain is gone right now, and for privacy reasons I'd like that back now... but OH well it's drying.

I cannot even imagine how good summer is going to be.
Yesteday and Friday were just reminders of how good it feels man.

Friday!! We BEAT SOUTHWEST!!! I got props from the girl who hated me!!!

Tonight we play MontbelloTT and MLK for spots in city championships.

I really should be writing.



I honestly think someone should give me a plot for a flash fiction.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17081187/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17081187/ Tue, 26 Feb 2008 21:26:38 PST
I want to be a musician. Whether I'm in a band, or solo. I want to be able to play and sing and experience that. I don't think I could be a rock star, I'm not that committed to guitar or piano and my voice isn't that good.

I want to be a writer. To spend the entire day writing poetic prose and poetry, but I'm bad with stories. I don't think I'd get that much out of it, and I can't spend more then a few days with the same view point. I don't know how long I would want to be a writer.

I want to be a philosopher. I think I would go insane.

I want to be a journalist for Rolling Stone or something similar. I could go to every concert and stay up all night writing. Interviews and stuff. I don't know if I want to major in Journalism though. That might just be the most boring thing ever.

I want to be a marine biologist, because everything is better underwater. I don't think I have the patience for other biology and science. I'm not in to the boring and standard parts of science.

I want to be a therapist, because I like talking to people. I like to know what they're thinking, and I really like to change people. I don't think I could deal with the bull shit. I'm way to bias.

I want to be an astronomer and astrologer because nothing is more interesting then space and physics. I think I would really like to write peoples horoscopes. I think I might get bored.

I want to be a teacher because I could change peoples lives and talk all day. I like teaching people things. I don't know how much patience I'd have for it. I'm almost really bias.

I want to be a costume designer for something. Movies. I don't know!

I want to be a part of the film industry, and make good movies. Maybe I want to direct or produce or write the screenplay or design or do makeup or something.

I want to be a photographer of sorts. I want to take pictures of people skateboarding and snowboarding, and write about it. I could take pictures of the rock stars, and maybe write about them! I could take fashion portraits.

I want everything all in one but I don't think I could handle any of this.
Mainly, I want to know what I want to be when I grow up.
I still have time, but growing up never stops and I am so close.

Mental breakdown like shit. I just want to be happy when I'm older!!!


QUESTION FOR THE GENERAL WORLD!!

What do you want to be when you grow up???

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17012031/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/17012031/ Fri, 22 Feb 2008 15:55:44 PST isn't that REALLY exciting?

I hate dentists!

Other news:
I need to find postage stamps to get these letters to all my heroes on the way.

I can't write stories.
Well, eventually I will be able too.
I put so much effort into a story, and... it ends. Before the first page is over.

I think what I need is a typewriter, because then I can't get online and look at pictures, or talk to people, or listen to music. OR delete.


Also: Yesterday was UBER amazing.
I cannot even begin to describe how much fun it was.

I really love psychedelic music, and folk music, and dancing to it! And royally LOSING at pool.

and everything.

especially swinging.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16970802/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16970802/ Tue, 19 Feb 2008 23:55:12 PST
i cannot even begin to explain.

Laundry. Hahha, Oh dear.

Still has to be put away.


Ohhh, dear.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16905280/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16905280/ Fri, 15 Feb 2008 20:24:15 PST
I'll upload some pictures.
I have a lot of bubbles ones. Bahaha.

Dude, for serious though. Less then a month till slam off.
:/


If I had my way
I would tear this whole building down

I have to decide whether I want to go to Jethro Tull in August.
I don't know if I like him that much.

and... I guess I'm learning Journey on ze piano.
Dude. Don't Stop Believing is a song you cannot hate, no matter WHAT.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16891563/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16891563/ Thu, 14 Feb 2008 22:49:33 PST
I can't sleep anyways. I'm so behind in Language Arts and stuff.
I can't find my lucky stone.


Someone tell me something about something nice that happened to them recently.


Positivity Positivity Positivity.

I wish I could go to another galaxy, dance along all the limbs of another solar system, see what nothing looks like, feel empty.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16825481/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16825481/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 22:52:29 PST
Damaris.
Scorpio.
Alone.
Spiritual.
Turquoise.

I don't know how to react about that.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16792358/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16792358/ Fri, 08 Feb 2008 21:40:40 PST
i just really liked today.


Downtown again tomorrow.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16712390/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16712390/ Sun, 03 Feb 2008 18:25:30 PST I babysat and dyed my hair with tea.

I hate this, I hate this part of winter. When the entire world is just kind of sitting, and nothing happens! I can never sleep well...

School is getting worse. Assignments are increasingly stupid and more and more everyday I'm feeling unwanted by everybody. It's seriously like all my old friends won't bother with me, I don't think I'm that bad.

People keep telling me how intimidating and mean I am... I really don't try. I hate this.

I can't paint, is there such a thing as painters block? I sure as hell can't write. I've been trying SO hard, everything I try and construct just turns into a piece of shit. I can't take a good picture.

I just want to go to Martins house and tie dye, or play basketball, or volleyball or softball.
I've tried playing piano. I can't even hit the right chords.

:/

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16625050/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16625050/ Tue, 29 Jan 2008 08:43:12 PST
BLAHHDEDAHDADELAHDA.

Seriously. Nothing we do has any point.
So. I'll waste time on my dA.

I got some cool pictures of Martin and Shea swinging.
I'm not sure if they are any good though :///

And. Otherwise, nothing is new in the world of hailey.
Except for maybe that she finds it impossible to write stories.
Damn you womens literature! My cinderfella story isn't going to good.

'till next time.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16573098/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16573098/ Fri, 25 Jan 2008 21:04:54 PST All these winter blues, and I feel SO great.

Basketball game was wonderful, we lost by one shot, but it was an intense game. I can't believe I didn't foul out!! I got SO lucky!
See, because there was this really tall, very good player on the other team, and after Leah got fouled out I was the only one to cover her at all, so eventually... after enough pushes and fouls and various basketball related things we got in this fight. In the middle of the court, just elbowing each other and kicking and tripping and she scratched me and they called it a double foul.

Either way. I can't explain how good I feel.

I got some pretty good pictures today at Byers, and I'll post them tonight.

Tomorrow...I go snowboarding!


Also, 10 ways to be happy when the world is gray and boring. [link]

Goodnight.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16513591/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16513591/ Mon, 21 Jan 2008 21:46:09 PST
Directions:
Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.

Where will I go today? Hey Baby (new rising sun) -Jimi Hendrix. - Guess not.

How am I feeling today? Brain Damage - Pink Floyd. Haha, Oh yeah man.

Will I get far in life? Knocking on Heavens Door - Guns n roses. Yeah, Thats a total yes man.

How do my friends see me? Eye Of the Hurricane - David Wilcox. Dude, I'd totally say thats a good thing.

When will I get married? If I ever leave this world alive - Flogging Molly. Oh dear....

What's my theme song? Lily, Rosemary and The Jack Of Hearts - Bob Dylan the great. Yeah No, totally off.

How can I get ahead in life? Days and days - Tegan and Sara. Eh. No

What is my best feature? Workingman's Blues # 2 - Bob Dylan master of the world. Uh, That would imply that I don't procrastinate, and by the lyrics that would imply I was genuine.

What is in store for this weekend? Shop Around - Smokey Robinson and The Miracles. -

What is my life like at the moment? Lost Horizons - Gin Blossoms- ehh, closer then most of them ^^^

What song describes my secrets? Leaving On a Jet Plane- The Ramones cover. Dude, kinda. .

What song will they play at my funeral? Smooth Criminal - Michael Jackson. I hope not!!

How does the world see me? Last Train to Clarksville - The Monkees. I don't know man...

Will I have a happy life? Letter To A Friend In Jail—Winterpills. Oh man.



Okay, so, survey thingy brought to YOU by Cordelia.

So, lately I've been dreamin' way to big.
I'm going to get in contact with Bob Dylan by the end of the year, no matter what it takes.
Why the hell not? Thats a far better new years resolution then the 'stop procrastinating' thing I had going on.
So, I've started emailing a bunch of address's I've found online that are like THE REAL BOB DYLAN HERE OMG! Hopefully, one of them will actually work!

I also plan on learning the harmonica, because when everyone around you is playin' their guitars and there isn't a piano, I can pull out my HANDY DANDY HARMONICA, and make everything far better.



]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16481571/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16481571/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 21:25:49 PST Were actually really alike, but we disagree on small things like guns n roses musical capability. Other then that, we don't really look alike and he's way better at snowboarding and guitar then I am.

2.) Do you believe that there's always room in your heart for your "first love"?
Uh, first love... hmm. I guess. I think there's room in your heart for all of them though, right?

3.) Where is the next place you will travel to?
New England or something. Maybe DC, Maybe Florida?

5.) Have you ever worn the opposite sex's underwear?
Boxers rock!

8.) When was the last time you cried?
Uh. Thursday, because of onions. Otherwise, I don't really remember.

9.) Do you say sexy a lot?
Nope.

10) Who was your last sleepover with?
Um. Lauren.

11) Is there something you are waiting on?
Yeah, there for sure is.

12.) Is there something you currently want?
Eh. Yeah, none of its material. EXCEPT I WANT MY CAMERA BACK!!!

14.) Do you want to get married & have children one day?.
Someday...

15).Do you still think about your ex?
Blllaaaahhhh. If you count him as an ex, then yeah. I think about him a lot.

17). If you could ,would you date a jock?
Uh...? If I liked the individual person, duh. what the hell kind of question is that?

18.) Ever flown a plane?
Oh man, that would be so cool.

19.) When was the last time you took a shower?
Yesterday.

20.) Have you ever gambled in a casino?
A Scottish casino, hell yeah!

21.) Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
I would so much rather have long hair!

22.) What';s your favorite place you've traveled?
I don't know. Everywhere I've been kinda rocked.

23.) Do you like ice-cream?
Yeah, I'm pretty average.

24.) What's your favorite color?
Purple!

28.) Where are your mom and dad?
Madre is in her bed watching some mystery movie and my Padre is downstairs working on some amplifier.

32.) Do you like to eat ice?
I like to eat everything.

33.) What's your favorite place to shop?
Thrift stores, or random places. I don't really caree

34.) When do you go to sleep?
Dude, I don't sleep.

36.) Would you ever consider moving to another state to be with the one you love?
Oh for sure.

37.) Do you like sushi?
Yeah man.

38.) Do you lie?
not a lot.

39.) Do you have empty bottles of alcohol hidden somewhere?
Can't say I do.

42.) Own bright colored underwear?
I don't really pay attention. I'm guessing I have some.

45.) Are you going to have a good night?
Oh yeah, being sick rocks!

49.) What are you listening to?
My playlist of 80's and 60's rock. Right now, Tommy Tutone.

50.) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Not really, no.

51.) What's something you learned today?
Something about assists in basketball.

52.) Are you happy?
What a complicated question to answer.

53.) What did you do today?
Cleaned, ate, went to a hockey game.
Pretty much wasted away in my room and slept for most of it.




Dudee, a year ago today marked the start of a downward spiral.
I guess I wasn't really happy again until June.
Oh well man, a LOT has changed since then. I am so happy I am not the person I was, tip my hat to change son.

Alsoo - Hockey rocks! I love games so much.

]]> ~thrasherr http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16439020/ http://thrasherr.deviantart.com/journal/16439020/ Wed, 16 Jan 2008 21:23:22 PST
Just then the peach trees sitting to my left pulled their roots out of the ground and cut open my arms. The dirt dry roots took out my bones and made it autumn inside my marrow. They stitched me up with ripe wheat strands and my hands looked like Irish stonework.

I closed my eyes and felt the thin layers of skin on my iris's and the constant pump and deflate of my lungs. It began to rain orange flavored tea. Small and round drizzles hit the peach trees and killed them, all of my home town turned into a dessert.

The buildings fell into ash, and the cement cracked into the earths ground, till I could not feel the difference. Clouds of purple and red began closing in on the earth and the pressure collapsed my vocal chords. Being compressed into this world of silence my left hand was aching from holding something so tightly.

As my back began breaking and folding, I released the tiny red grain from my hand and remembered. I threw it into a crack in the cement and held my hands together. The seed grew into a stem, and returned my world back to normal, and I didn't dare pick the first flower in the world.



(In this existence where everything is a spiral of coincidence, I felt like I was on purpose.)

]]> ~thrasherr