http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:toolofthemuses&section=today deviantART RSS for by:toolofthemuses en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 11 Dec 2009 10:59:07 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/12645616/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/12645616/ Wed, 18 Apr 2007 17:24:06 PDT
My digital camera was stolen.

The camera was given to me by someone who believed that I made beautiful and interesting photos. It was to encourage me to take more pictures of the beauty I see in the world.

I did just that.

I took for granted always having it, and now it's gone.

I don't know when I'll be able to get another digital camera. But I guess it just won't be the same.
Just another camera.

I hope whoever is buying it from a pawn shop or on theh black market or whatever, appreciates what they've received.

I'm going to post as many pictures as I can that were the last pictures I ever took with that camera.
It was an encouragement from someone close to me, and I won't let that encouragement end with the loss of the camera.

I'm sorry that I was so irresponsible.
Thank you for the gift; I used it well.

]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/11658370/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/11658370/ Fri, 02 Feb 2007 11:05:46 PST Do not be surprised to see sporadic photographic submissions.

]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/11017032/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/11017032/ Sun, 10 Dec 2006 12:20:54 PST It's too hard, and the temptation is too great for me to fight against if I stay.

I appreciate everything you people do. Your art inspires me every day.

I just can't keep destroying myself.



Cow and Squirrel wish they could've stuck around a while longer.

Keep making your wonderful creations.
I'm sorry that I couldn't be strong enough.

If anyone would like to speak to me beyond a DA capacity:
aim - i am xtra medium
msn - toolofthemuses24@hotmail.com

Goodbye DA. Who knows when I'll see you again.

]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/10802786/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/10802786/ Tue, 21 Nov 2006 17:13:01 PST
So if anyone cares - I'll see y'all soon.

Have a good weekend

]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/10670422/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/10670422/ Thu, 09 Nov 2006 15:44:58 PST
Ah well. If anyone is interested, I put up two "new" poems.

I've been going through some of my old stuff, and I can't say it hasn't been an emotional roller coaster.
Some of the stuff is pretty crappy, some of it is really good. Most of the really good stuff hurts too much to put up on here - and also... it's inappropriate for the current situation of lives.

So I'll just put the least offensive crap up here and hope for at least one or two comments.

Happy DA-ing y'all.

-Britt

Oh and PS - Thanks to ~raeloncemore for my new icon thinger
I'm completely inept at these sorts of things. Having no photoshop to speak of. (or "of which to speak")

]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/10609525/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/10609525/ Fri, 03 Nov 2006 23:37:36 PST
]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/10504956/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/10504956/ Wed, 25 Oct 2006 09:32:41 PDT
I haven't posted anything in a while. I've been kind of having a rough go of things around here.

I'm trying to piece my life back together without screwing up other people's lives.
I've been pretty crappy about that lately.

I sometimes wish I could just get everything out to everyone I want to talk to. There are people I don't even know who I want to explain things to, just so they don't hate me or think I'm crazy.

Unfortunately... I think I'm crazy, so how can I convince others that I'm not?

It's been a tough year. Looking back, there were some great times, and that makes the present even harder to deal with. I keep thinking back on all those good times, and how they're not available to me anymore. I'm sure there will be good times in the future - but you know what they say - it takes time.

I can't rush my healing process - and I'm sure a few people who might read this are like "What? What healing process, shouldn't you be DONE already?!" But... I've just started. I was holding it back and deep down inside for a future date where I could just let it go. It finally came out, and now I'm dealing with the flood, and the damage that has been done because of it.

I appreciate each and every person in my life - regardless of their current, past, or future capacity.

I don't want to lose anyone, ever. That being said - you can't change the flow of things.

I got a tattoo last night to remind myself that we must always go with the flow of our lives. It's the chinese character for "Tao" or "Way"
Spirituality, in my case Taoism, is usually something people turn to during the grief process. I hope it will help me stay above water, and prevent me from sinking even deeper in this despair.

The problem with despair is that you can feel it. You can feel that knot in your heart, your stomach, that catch in your throat or however it manifests. . . and you can't just reach in and pull it out. Why is it so focused, but you can't just extract it and get it out?

I've been so frustrated with my feelings these days.
The Tao says that when the wind blows, it doesn't worry about how hard it blows or how far or that it is even the wind, it just blows, because that's its way. Similarly with feelings - we must not dwell on how much we feel our feelings, or how long, we should just feel them as intensely or as softly as they come. For if we fight them, we are denying their true nature, and our own true nature, and that friction causes more grief in the end.

So for the next while, I will be feeling my feelings fully. If I fear that they will harm you, I will express them elsewhere.

I'm not trying to make anyone else's life harder - I'm just trying to get on with my own.

]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/9530407/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/9530407/ Sat, 29 Jul 2006 06:14:54 PDT

[link] ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/8296954/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/8296954/ Tue, 28 Mar 2006 16:43:37 PST
Enjoy! ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/8244416/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/8244416/ Thu, 23 Mar 2006 09:20:57 PST
Comments pleeeease! ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/8241758/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/8241758/ Wed, 22 Mar 2006 23:38:21 PST I've got a pin-up thing that I drew that I don't think could pass as a completed picture. I may update it, though, since I originally started drawing it as a tattoo idea.

Anyway. Check it out! ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/4356183/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/4356183/ Tue, 18 Jan 2005 21:59:51 PST
But I'm doing alright.

Hope everyone is having fun with their things, whether it's work or school or what ever.

I'll try my best to keep in touch with this this site - it's just been so hectic for me lately.

Love you all

~Brittany ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/3636724/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/3636724/ Wed, 20 Oct 2004 17:48:41 PDT
I have a boyfriend.

he's the best EVER.

So sweet. So cuddly. So beautiful.

I wants him forever ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/2550873/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/2550873/ Mon, 31 May 2004 14:13:58 PDT Even though. . . no one ever visits my site

Anyway - i've been busy, but i did a little drawing today at work and i think it turned out decently.

Check'em out.

I wanted to do the WHOOLLEEE thing, but it's too big to scan on the scanner, so i did the pieces and then as much as i could possibly get to fit.

Enjoy - maybe :-p

~Brittany~ ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1715844/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1715844/ Wed, 21 Jan 2004 00:19:06 PST ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1534073/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1534073/ Sun, 14 Dec 2003 14:23:19 PST ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1432152/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1432152/ Fri, 21 Nov 2003 11:17:06 PST I'm happy
But so many good ideas keep dodging me as well
I need to slow down
I'm seriously stressing too much
Track started and i'm so out of shape
I need to get things scheduled
Maybe i should actually use a planner...

~Brittany~ ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1267191/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1267191/ Sun, 12 Oct 2003 12:21:00 PDT

Goodness GRACIOUS Great BALLS of fire.

~Brittany~ ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1136383/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1136383/ Sun, 07 Sep 2003 04:44:21 PDT I'm being double-teamed into misery

~Brittany~ ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1115090/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1115090/ Sun, 31 Aug 2003 11:16:15 PDT
-shrug-

I'll find someone eventually...

Maybe... ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1012997/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1012997/ Thu, 31 Jul 2003 07:49:58 PDT And will you tell all your friends you've got your gun to my head?

I'm a redhead now!! Haha...it's such a lovely shade of red...i believe it shall match my sparkling personality more!! Haha...it's a dark red instead of that crazy orange so many people think of when they think of read hair!! Oh well...just thought i'd say that...cuz i'm excited about it!!! Love ya Deviants

~Brittany~

This all was only wishful thinkin', this all was only wishful thinkin' ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1004671/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/1004671/ Tue, 29 Jul 2003 11:43:52 PDT And will you tell all your friends you've got your gun to my head?
I'm really quite surprised by the responses i'm getting on my photography. I don't know much about it, and i've never formally been taught how to take a good picture. I've always enjoyed looking at B&W pictures and decided to take a few rolls with me when i went to NC. The cemetary seemed like a good place to take pictures of things that would seem more tasteful in B&W...and the beach just seemed like that would be neat too. I didn't think people would enjoy those pics so much! I'm thrilled...maybe i'll have to take some B&W film w/ me to the beach this year again...but this time i'll also remember to take color film, too! Haha. Thanks again for your support on my photography, i've still got a few more to post, so don't worry...they're still comin . Love ya Deviants

~Brittany~

This all was only wishful thinkin', this all was only wishful thinkin' ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/982206/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/982206/ Thu, 24 Jul 2003 07:51:29 PDT And will you tell all your friends you've got your gun to my head?

Happy Birthday to me...yeah...the big 1-7. not too bad...though i'm not as excited as people believe i should be. I'm 17...oooo...i can legally see rate-r movies alone now...when have i ever gone to the movies by myself? Sheesh. Oh well...1 more year and i can blow this pop stand!! Well...i'm gonna just chill today...even though i have stupid driver's ed tonight!!! At least i didn't have to work like my boss wanted me to!! Later y'all!

~Brittany~

This all was only wishful thinkin', this all was only wishful thinkin' ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/965367/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/965367/ Sun, 20 Jul 2003 05:17:38 PDT And will you tell all your friends you've got your gun to my head?
Just so everyone knows...i get my images off of google...i'm not tryin' to pass'em off as mine...i just think they help illustrate some shtuff...so yeah...the poetry is ALL mine...but the pictures...are definitely not...me draw? ha...that's a laugh!! j/p...but yeah...so yeah...bye

This all was only wishful thinkin', this all was only wishful thinkin' ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/961642/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/961642/ Sat, 19 Jul 2003 05:35:02 PDT And will you tell all your friends you've got your gun to my head?

Wow...it's been exactly a month since i wrote something...stuff sucks...sheeps

This all was only wishful thinkin', this all was only wishful thinkin' ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/852872/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/852872/ Thu, 19 Jun 2003 11:35:45 PDT I hate myself sometimes...
I wrote something

...I love myself ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/782814/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/782814/ Sun, 01 Jun 2003 07:26:18 PDT I hate myself sometimes...

It's another day at work...but at least i'm makin money!!! $10.15 an hour ain't too shabby for a 16 year old kid! I just saw in the newspaper that a local used car dealer is selling a used 98 Hyundai Accent 48K miles and CD player for 3888...i dunno...sounds like a good deal to me. Accents are kinda small, though...so i probably won't go for it...and my parents would be like *blah blah you can't buy a car blah blah* so yeah. I mean, I wouldn't buy the car...my parents would and i'd reimburse them each month for the payments...see what i'm saying...and that could help improve their credit!! c'mon!!! Why won't they just help me out? LOL. Anyway...I'm gonna try and write something soon...this crazy weather is freakin' me out...perfect for writing...winds are gusting at like 50 billion miles an hour!!! aahhhhh!!! The front doors to this place keep flying open!!! Holy geez!!! I'm gonna make like a banana and get outta here (teehee).
Love, Peace and Chicken Grease!!!


...I love myself ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/779769/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/779769/ Sat, 31 May 2003 07:44:07 PDT
It's just another day...nothing too spectacular. Everyone has been so sick...i'm worried. I need to just chill...school is almost out...my bro and all my senior friends graduate on Monday night...i get to play the bassoon...pomp and circumstance is the stuff...eh...i'm gonna miss'em all so much *sigh* (not my brother...my senior friends!). Well...i'm gonna...go...cuz i'm really ramblin'

Lord i was born a ramblin' man...


Still full of confusion... ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/755697/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/755697/ Sat, 24 May 2003 17:31:21 PDT
I got 8th at states...my heart wasn't in it so i only threw 93'0"...oh well

Prom was fun...but i don't know...i feel so empty. It's weird...i got up this morning and just felt depressed...and when i think back to last night...i don't smile...I THINK i had fun...i can remember having a good time...but i can't put myself there and feel happy. I think i might be hormonally screwed at the moment...but eh. It was cool to see everyone all dressed up and pretty-fied. Next year i am NOT going with a date. Too much feeling of obligation. I felt bad whenever i left him to go dance with my friends...or to go greet friends who came in...or whatever else i did when i left him. I worry too much, i guess. I had fun...and i think he had fun too...i don't know...i just feel ...unsatisfied? I can't quite place the emotion at the moment...i think in a week i'll look back happily...but right now...it was a decent night...even though i felt fat and ugly....(nothing like seein' a bunch of skinny girls in cute dresses with great hair and make up to make you feel inadequate in your attempts to look good)

Still full of confusion... ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/734124/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/734124/ Sun, 18 May 2003 07:11:46 PDT

Then I had my band banquet on Friday night...and then the dance afterward! It was so much fun...we were headbanging and moshing and stuff to Nirvana and everything. We did the Cha Cha slide and the booty call...it was great stuff, everyone had a great time. My neck is sore from the headbanging!! I can barely move it!!! Eep!! But it was great!! OO OO...and i got a Bassoon pin!!! It's so cute...it looks like a mini bong...instead of the giant bong that my actual bassoon resembles

Then on Saturday I went to New York and it was FUN! I haggled in ChinaTown...got some lo mein from a vender. It was excellent. My legs are so sore from walking around so much. I'm so tired!!! I went shopping in TIMES SQUARE!!! I'd never been to New York before...so it was so much fun! I got a rip off Burberry in Chinatown for 20...it's great! And i went to Madame Tussaud's wax museum and got a bunch of pictures taken with the *celebrities* It's great, cuz a bunch of them looked SUPER REAL so i can pretend like i actually met them!! HAHA!!! J/P Talk to you all later!!! GOOOOOOOO DEVIANTS!


Yeah...stuff might actually be going my way for once *crosses fingers* I hope i didn't jinx it!... ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/682060/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/682060/ Fri, 02 May 2003 16:46:46 PDT
OHHHHH, and I have a date to prom now He's my friend Matt and he's really tall...so i can wear HEELS and not feel like i'm walking with a MIDGET!! YAY He's not one of those stupid guys who does stupid things like a certain person whose name ISN"T Gene P... oh i mean...G. Paffrath...anyways I love you all so very much...and keep rockin' it hardcore and pumpin out that mad crazy art!



Yeah...stuff might actually be going my way for once *crosses fingers* I hope i didn't jinx it!... ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/679039/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/679039/ Thu, 01 May 2003 18:16:20 PDT Gene must still die...the jerk and I got in an argument...NOT GOOD! Anyway...that's not what i wanna write about.

I had a track meet today. And i threw discus. And i threw it 103'8"...and for those of you who don't know...that is GOOD! I haven't broken 100 yet this year...so this was a huge milestone for me...now all i gotta do is keep it up there WOOHOO!!! I'm excited!
My next step is getting a PR (personal record). My PR from last year is 103'11"...so i'm almost back up there!!! I'm so EXCITED! I'm gonna leave now BYE BYE ALL YOU LOVELY PEOPLE


Yeah...stuff STILL sucks... ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/672645/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/672645/ Tue, 29 Apr 2003 17:15:11 PDT
Oh I'll teach you to lie to me and lead me on Mr. Paffrath...
*stabs voodoo doll* MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (continues to laugh maniacally)


Yeah...stuff STILL sucks... ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/638926/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/638926/ Sat, 19 Apr 2003 19:48:57 PDT

I had a lovely migraine today. Oh yes...first it started with the loss of vision in my right eye...always fun!
Then it went on to the stabbing pain behind my left eye!! Woohoo!
And then began the nausea.
Ibuprofen didn't help

I left work early and had to stop on the side of the road to upchuck the carb bar i had for breakfast. It certainly didn't taste like blueberry the second time around. My head still hurts...but not so much now

I went to see Bulletproof Monk w. my friend Gene. It was lots of fun...and the movie is pretty decent. A bit predictable in some places, but aren't all action movies that way? There were some very funny one-liners though...so all in all it was a decent movie. If you're bored, you should go see it.

Me and Gene had fun...and...we listened to Blue Oyster Cult in the car when he drove me home. We stopped at Dairy Queen...that was cool. It was a decent night.
I'm out...I'm tired!

~Brittany~



Ta Ta for now...catch you on the flip side home skillets ]]> ~toolofthemuses http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/578958/ http://toolofthemuses.deviantart.com/journal/578958/ Sun, 30 Mar 2003 11:03:30 PST I'm just going to say that i'm in awe of the actors and actresses at my school. They're so good!

Let me recap:

My high school had it's closing performance of LesMiserables (school edition) last night. Let me just say that i was in TEARS!! The singing was beautiful, the emotion was real...it was perfect. I find myself painfully longing to see it again. I loved seeing all my classmates up on stage acting such a wonderful play! I feel kind of sad that i won't be able to see it again. I'm going to kick myself in the head for only seeing it ONCE!

This whole business has prompted me to want to see the actual broadway play...on broadway, lol. It has its final night (after an amazing 16 year run) on May 18th...and i sooo want to go!!! It's such a beautiful play, and the songs are amazing and cut right into your soul. When little cosette sings *castle on a cloud* it just is haunting and beautiful. And when Eponine is dying in Marius' arms...*sob* It's just such a wonderful play! And you can imagine how much more emotional it can be seeing your own classmates hitting the notes and singing the songs wonderfully and with passion. I wish i could sing *sigh*

This has also gotten me on this desire-to-act-in-a-play kick. I've already started looking up audition dates in my own area, just to see if i can get into one. It would be so much fun. I would feed off being onstage. I love being in front of people and performing. I certainly hope i can be in a play or two before i go off to college.

That's enough for now...but i'm just so psyched, i'm typing like 50 million miles per hour!!! AAAHHH!!!! I loved everyone in the TJ Stage presentation of Les Miserables: School Edition (...by the by...it's the school edition cuz it's less vulgar...and it's a bit shorter... )
I look forward to seeing another great performance for the Fall play next year. Hurrah 3 cheers for TJ Stage!

~Brittany~





Ta Ta for now...catch you on the flip side home skillets ]]> ~toolofthemuses