http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:torquema70&section=today deviantART RSS for by:torquema70 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 04 Dec 2009 06:20:57 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/4409055/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/4409055/ Tue, 25 Jan 2005 06:57:19 PST Maybe DA is victim of its success...but hey, how can you emerge as an artist when there's about 10 000 000 deviations to see or to read ???
The devwatch has this weakness that there's so many talented artists on DA that it goes huge... and finally you watch nothing anymore. This is especially true when you're not a subscriber.
The continual pressure put on DA artist to subsribe has something annoying... Thought DA was a free place for creative people to express themselves by art mediums.
It seems to me that DA has become someting I don't recognize me in anymore.
Many people come to my page and ask why I don't have much more hits. I really don't know. Maybe that too much art kills artists. But I think that a new member in 2004 will hardly emerge from the whole bunch of members...
Maybe that living in France is an obstacle because the hours of my submissions appear to be the moment where DA is less frequented...
Maybe that my work is crap...
Anyway, for all those reasons, I decided to quit defenitively DA.
Thanks for all the people that followed my work : Raun, Fidget and Redux especially.
May be this journal won't be read at all !

End of transmission. ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/1707130/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/1707130/ Mon, 19 Jan 2004 14:21:56 PST Anyway, I realised, as I am close to an exhibition of my photos, that I can't dissociate music from the pics. My photos are full of Red House Painters, Idaho, Damon & Naomi, Spain... I think that the first day of the exhibition, I will put the stereo on with all the songs that helped me to shoot : "Alive again", "Jump up", "Glass bottom", "To be the one", Casa mia" from Idaho, "Three legged cat", "Mistress", "Katy song", "Down through", " Song for a blue guitar" from Red House Painters and finally "Make your body move" and "Nobody has to know" from Spain. I forget many, I'm sure, and some others will come to my mind in the next days, but I think this is the best way for people to immerge into my photographic world... ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/1651932/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/1651932/ Fri, 09 Jan 2004 07:08:53 PST
To all, happy new year ! ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/1474770/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/1474770/ Mon, 01 Dec 2003 08:11:13 PST
Even if by now my life is quite happy, it's impossible to forget just a single things of these bad days.

I had no car, no furnitures, no money, I was alone and lonely. I used to take drugs and to drink too much. I used to mix up Lithium, Xanax, Jack Daniels, cocaine and weed.

I used to dance whole night long, drunk and/or stoned, argue, fight... Well, my life was a bit disturbed. I used to walk on bridges in the early morning waiting for the sun, hoping that the light of a new day would wash me, would clean my brain and my blood.

I had no haste in destroying my being. This was a slow process. The rythm was given by the substances.

I went to Paris some day. I can't even remember what I did there. I took photos, ate twice within an hour. Came back, in themist of my smoked brain. I didn't stop smoking weed for three days. In Paris, I just remeber that I stood in a cafe for hours, near Notre-Dame, watchnig the crowd passing by like a colored river.

In november 2001, I was feeling cold, sad, tortured, twisted. I slept with several women. I don't really remember their face. When you're a junky, every body looks exactly the same as any other one. You feel like a satellite, moving in random ways. ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/830016/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/830016/ Fri, 13 Jun 2003 14:00:11 PDT
It was february, and the air-conditionned system was out of order, but it wasn't important. I left a near zero weather to get a 26°c city. Cairo, from my window, was spreading like an octopuss, throwing his tentacles in every direction.

I didn't know why I came in this noisy and polluted metropolis, but I needed to be there. Troubles were behind me. Beside the hotel, there was a fruit market, seemed to be there 24 hours a day.

I went to a chicha cafe and took some tea and an apple chicha. Discussed with Said, took photos of him, holding in a dangerous way more full glasses on his plate than I ever saw before.

Within one day, I wanted to stay. I wanted to forget everything. I wanted to merge in the pavement, in this smell, so specific that if you close your eyes, you know where you are.

Cairo was catching me, to never release me. I walked above the Nile, on the 6th october bridge, leading me to Zamalek. The Nile was like an enormous and moving highway. Far away, I could see the city disappearing in the smog. I could hardly see the bridge to Ramses. The Semiramis Hotel was reflecting in the water.

People everywhere... Life in every corner... crowded streets... but I was fine. I felt good like I ever felt since a long time. Took a taxi to Gizah, and went to Ahmad house, upon the roof, to eat chiken and discuss. At a short distance, the Pyramids and the Sphinx were there, silent and huge. In Gizah, on this roof, smoking chicha, in the evening sunlight, I felt the block getting relaxed after a hot day. Ahmad was talking to me and... well... he became a friend.

I want to get back to Cairo.
]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/801555/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/801555/ Fri, 06 Jun 2003 08:00:45 PDT
They're happy.

And they're right to be so.

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Hi to Doornumber13 and to Fidget ... I whish they posted more of their masterpieces photos.

Hi to ... This was very funny, don't you think so ?

Hi to my dad : time is long, pain is hard, but hapiness is forever.

Hi to my brother : drop this fucking 9mm, I think you should try the '50. ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/644912/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/644912/ Mon, 21 Apr 2003 13:29:51 PDT At this time, I never knew so many people... I was surrounded by people, living more at night than in daylight. My skin was more often licked by neon light than by the sun. I was swallowing more smoke than pure air...
These people suddenly vanished in september, when I took the right turn to have a better life, a life in which I didn't had the feeling that I was falling.
I remember Manu, Yves, Kamel, Yelena, Karine, Sylvanie, Fayçal, Mulud... People I don't see anymore. I realised that if I wanted to take this important turn, I had to cut heads... I had to. I didn't want to sleep at bus stops anymore, be woken up by garbadge men. All these people were as lost as I was. They couldn't help me at all. We were drunken friends. This kind of friendship is not designed to last.
I was able to stand them because I was sick of alcohol and drug. With a clear mind, I was no longer able to talk to them.
So they vanished. Fortunately. Badly. Sadly. ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/643319/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/643319/ Mon, 21 Apr 2003 02:06:21 PDT I was no longer a blind wanderer. I was able to catch simple things with my camera-eye. Everything started to appear in slow motion, then they were still. My environment turned out to be like a painting, where details were obvious.
My word was no longer usefull. I had just to see and capture. ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/633537/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/633537/ Fri, 18 Apr 2003 05:01:54 PDT But think I became lazy. It's gonna change. I'm going to two weeks vacation. I'm gonna sleep as longer as my son afford.
And I hope I'll be received my brand new computer, much faster than the dinosaurus one I'm working on. I change my 64mo for a 512 DDR RAM. And I switch my PII 600 for a PIV 1,8 ghz. Think it's gonna change my speed to comment.
While my computer is enhancing, my camera equipement still remains old. I don't wanna change. My 25 years old camera is the best I ever had. Found on Ebay a 50 mm f/1.4 lens. I guess this will help me to make different photos, in term of DOF. In the next days, after my vacation maybe, I'll be able to submit my last works, made with a new film I never used before : the Fuji 64 Tungsten. As I shot in daylight, the result should be surprising... blue tone, I think. Well, I'm writin too much now. See you soon, and take care, everybody. ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/609411/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/609411/ Thu, 10 Apr 2003 04:19:39 PDT After almost two years of membership, my page was only hit 5676 times. This means that I must still improve and go further into the personnal side of photography. Thanks, folks !
]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/548158/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/548158/ Mon, 17 Mar 2003 02:36:05 PST endless sky like a drape of crystal smell

thirty years are gone
they all end in
this house where the senses love to drown

late december is what i'm feeling
and it's still alive
with its old
lights and voices
some go away
some will always stay

thirty years are gone
they all end in
this house where the sense's spirits drown

Lyrics from "Alive again" by Idaho from the album "Three sheets to the wind" 1996 WEIRD WOOD MUSIC, BMI
RELEASED BY CAROLINE RECORDS

]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/542874/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/542874/ Fri, 14 Mar 2003 02:23:35 PST It was night, and the orange lights along the road where lightning me faster and faster. I saw the speedmeter indicating 120 mph. I started to laugh. The car wasn't even shaking. I was feeling like I was floating in the air. I was thinking about nothing. Lights were appearing like cosmic lethal beams. The road became liquid. Suddenly, I felt something cold running in my veins. After a while, I realised I was scared. It was a pure fear of dying. I released the pressure on the accelerator and the car started to slow down. I parked on the roadside. The cockpit was full of basses. I switched the stereo off and looked at the cars passing by and horning me. I didn't know where I was. But I realised I was very far from home, and very far from me as well. Far from everything. I searched the way back home and finally found it.
My eyes were dry, but I felt broken inside. In my bedroom, I fell in a dreamless sleep. ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/540885/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/540885/ Thu, 13 Mar 2003 05:22:49 PST It was night, and the orange light along the road where lightning me faster and faster. I saw the speedmeter indicating 120 mph. I started to laugh. The car wasnt even shaking. I was feeling like I was floating in the air. I was thinking about nothing. Lights were appearing cosmic lethal beams. The road became liquid. Suddenly, I felt something cold running in my veins. After a while, I realised I was scared. It was a pure fear of dying. I released the pressure on the accelerator and the car started to slow down. I parked on the roadside. The cockpit was full of basses. I switched the stereo off and looked at the cars passing by and horning me. I didn't know where I was. But I realised I was very far from home, and very far from me as well. Far from everything. I searched the way back home and finally found it.
My eyes were dry, but I felt broken inside. I my bedroom, I fell in a dreamless sleep. ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/482034/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/482034/ Fri, 07 Feb 2003 02:18:27 PST In a world where speed has the primacy over all other consideration, I think that taking his time for contemplation is an act of resistance. Because contemplation doesn't match with immediate benefit. It doesn't generate wealthy goods. It seems to be an useless, sterile activity.
Going to trouble to catch a moment of beauty is obviously a way to say that you don't wanna run after money, career or consuming obsession.
I often have the impression that something like a thick sheet is erected between me and the world, stoping me seeing the beauty. This bloody sheet is our way of living, always in a rush for something.
From this point of view, the photographer is against the current. His discipline cannot be synonymous with haste.
Slowness is a virtue we must keep up. It shouldn't vanish.
]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/477543/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/477543/ Tue, 04 Feb 2003 06:57:48 PST As I was then forced to silence, my mind was able to see clearly every part of my life and doing so, I experienced news ways of thinking.
I knew that after all, these moments that permitted my soul to drink everything I was seeing, where moments I could share.
But not with anybody. In fact, I wished I could have looked to all these pretty things with the closest being I never had next to me : my wife.
I realise that loneliness, when it's chosen, could generate a benefit for a couple life. But when you suffer from loneliness, it's a terrible disease for the soul. ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/475811/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/475811/ Mon, 03 Feb 2003 07:41:28 PST for about 7 months.
Well, I've been havin' hard times during one year and this means that I had many problems to solve.
Passed this time between drugs, alcohol, and sleepless nights. Sure it was something like , but at last someone was coming to my mind each day, each time I was not under prohibited substances : my son and my wife.
I left them alone, and after a while, I realised I had been a coward and a bastard. I've been mistaken. It took a long time to recover my family. I understand now that nothing is more important than your family and to shersish those who love you and who count on you.
I didn't want to recall my family life as something dead
So I left drugs, alcohol and all that shit that leads you to nowhere. I had to break with "friends". And now I can see my family and say : "I know what is important". I'm so sorr, but I'm so happy... ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/452834/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/452834/ Tue, 21 Jan 2003 05:08:09 PST
Important : I almost drop numeric photography to re-discover traditional photography, with a 25 years old Nikon FE. See ya... ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/149145/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/149145/ Sat, 01 Jun 2002 05:53:36 PDT We are all dying stars waiting to become supernovae. And this will take a very short time.


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We are all dying stars waiting to become supernovae. And this will take a very short time.

]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/139772/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/139772/ Wed, 22 May 2002 01:19:32 PDT

---------------
We are all dying stars waiting to become supernovae. And this will take a very short time.

]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/131624/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/131624/ Sun, 12 May 2002 14:36:41 PDT
---------------
We are all dying stars waiting to become supernovae. And this will take a very short time.

]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/115643/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/115643/ Mon, 22 Apr 2002 15:51:18 PDT
---------------
We are all dying stars waiting to become supernovae. And this will take a very short time.

]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/112257/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/112257/ Thu, 18 Apr 2002 11:35:24 PDT ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/104649/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/104649/ Mon, 08 Apr 2002 14:54:27 PDT Soi heureuse c'est tout ce que je peux te souhaiter maintenant. Les routes se croisent parfois, mais elles s'écartent souvent... ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/58686/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/58686/ Mon, 21 Jan 2002 14:43:03 PST Soon, I'll be in Cairo with my friend. I wait for this moment, and meanwhile, I take photos and have stopped working... ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/54035/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/54035/ Wed, 09 Jan 2002 13:48:21 PST ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/42264/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/42264/ Mon, 03 Dec 2001 13:31:28 PST ]]> ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/41998/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/41998/ Sun, 02 Dec 2001 14:28:08 PST ~torquema70 http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/41281/ http://torquema70.deviantart.com/journal/41281/ Fri, 30 Nov 2001 02:16:48 PST ~torquema70