http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:twelvfive&section=today deviantART RSS for by:twelvfive en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 28 Dec 2009 20:14:55 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://twelvfive.deviantart.com/journal/28524647/ http://twelvfive.deviantart.com/journal/28524647/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:51:31 PST
I just wish I could drive already. I'd love to be able to go out for a drive and clear my head.

I wish I could go back in time and take back all the wrong decisions I made. Maybe if I hadn't been so impatient, we'd still be friends today.

I wish my best friend wasn't leaving.

I wish..

]]> ~twelvfive http://twelvfive.deviantart.com/journal/28523602/ http://twelvfive.deviantart.com/journal/28523602/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:20:53 PST
Things have been going well. Jasmine has been going nuts trying to figure out who are these two guys that are pretty much 'forbidden fruit' to me. Haha. She's already guessed them, actually, I just keep saying no. It'd be too awkward if word got out. Things won't be the same.

I'm not so serious about the second one but the first one, oh boy. I've known him for a while but I just realized recently that, in fact, he's everything I've been looking for. Funny, smart, sexy.. Haha. I like uncomplicated guys. He's as uncomplicated as a guy can be.

.. I don't know anymore. I just wanna get over it, though. 'Cause I know that it isn't going to go anywhere. I'm just going to end up with a broken heart.

I'm going over to Ella's tomorrow for some girl-time + Ben-time (haha!) and some comfort food. She ALWAYS has chips, chocolate, soft drinks and ice-cream. And whiskey, haha. And I like Mommy and Daddy and Bennyboo. Hahaha. Love you, Ells. We're also planning on going on a movie/Vampire Diaries marathon, starting with Paranormal Activity. I'm ready to be scared out of my pants.

You guys enjoy your week.

]]> ~twelvfive http://twelvfive.deviantart.com/journal/28366439/ http://twelvfive.deviantart.com/journal/28366439/ Sun, 15 Nov 2009 02:53:14 PST
I know what I said in the last entry about feeling God's presence in my life. About not needing anything else. I don't feel like that's true. God is amazing, yes, and I need Him in my life, without Him, I'd have nothing. But I also need other things. I need friends, and fun, and someone to love. And I just can't find that last thing. And it's killing me because all my friends are pairing up, everywhere I look, I see happy couples and.. I just feel empty.

]]> ~twelvfive http://twelvfive.deviantart.com/journal/27405018/ http://twelvfive.deviantart.com/journal/27405018/ Fri, 25 Sep 2009 07:01:05 PDT

After praising and worshiping Him, guiding young children to do the same, helping out and meeting new people.. I just feel great. I no longer feel a void in my life. I no longer feel that I need my friends or a lover to complete me. As long as I have Him, I will always be complete, contented and safe. He will lead me in the correct direction, He will shine his light down on me, He will do everything He can to ensure my happiness, and I know that now.

I feel blessed for having such a great God. He's the King of all kings, the Lord of all lords and yet, He has given us the privilege of calling Him Father so that we may ask whatever we want from Him. He listens to our prayers and answers them -- the thing is, sometimes, we're just not listening, we just keep asking.

He does not ask for anything but peace and love in return. He is humble and simple. And that's how we should be. I love you, God.

"Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all faith."

- From the inside out by Hillsong United.

I love you, God, You're awesome! <3333

]]> ~twelvfive http://twelvfive.deviantart.com/journal/27203640/ http://twelvfive.deviantart.com/journal/27203640/ Mon, 14 Sep 2009 05:18:14 PDT
First, I moved from Blogger to Tumblr but then found out that Tumblr forces me to be even more e-social. Not that I have a problem with being social -- I just need to put down my thoughts and feelings where I know it's open for the world to read but not to be judged. I guess that's impossible -- every body judges, including me -- but I'm getting pretty sick of it. So, yes, excuse my cowardliness and let me enjoy my new hide-out.

love,
Niks.

]]> ~twelvfive