http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:twilightsoffspring&section=today deviantART RSS for by:twilightsoffspring en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 25 Nov 2009 06:16:09 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/21887884/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/21887884/ Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:47:39 PST
My Wishlist:


* PlayStation 2 DVDs of the following games:
* .//Hack GU Vol. 1 – Vol. 4
* Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories
* Musashi: Samurai Legend
* Onimusha 1-4
* Persona 4
* A Kingdom Hearts cap
* A Bleach cap
* Katekyo Hitman Reborn DVDs (episode 1 - current)
* Mahou Sentai Magiranger DVDs
* A mini-plushie of Kon
* A Metallic Blue PlayStation Portable
* A Guitar Hero On Tour DS
* Guitar Hero World Tour
* Cash (because all the above items are crazy, hahaha)



This is an extremely serious and personal freaking out moment kind of post, seriously, I. Have. Issues. You can call me evil and bitter, but I need to let this out, so don’t read this if this might get to you.

Can I just say it? I’m not quite looking forward to going home to Zamboanga… Not for the reasons you lot are thinking (Those reasons being me not being able to be away from someone and not seeing said someone.), rather for reasons that sometimes make me wish my parents were… Liberal.

See, my mom has a huge thing for family, even when they treat you like dirt, family is more important… Psh, tell me something I don’t know. I’m sorry, but the last thing I wanted was to be treated like a walking pile of trash while I went through puberty.

The last thing I wanted was for my mom to treat my cousin as her son more than me.

That was eight years ago.

And I’ve never forgotten every moment of my life in Zamboanga. Never.

And for eight years, I’ve been yearning to let my past go, let everything that’s happened to me go, to not wake up screaming in the middle of the night because of what happened to me earlier this year. To not feel like an idiot, to not feel like I’m a total loser whose sole purpose in life is to exist and nothing more.

Two nights ago, I did, I let go of all the memories haunting me. I still worry about some things now, but I’m trying to not let it consume me.

I wasn’t always so serious and sort of boring, though… I used to be vibrant and really happy. Somehow, something happened to me that was bad enough for me to repress all those memories. In fact, you could say half the memories I have between 2nd, 3rd, 4th grade and 1st year are bits and pieces. Snatches. The rest are all repressed. Some of them have come to the surface, some haven’t.

What those memories were, I’ll have to keep to myself for now. I think time is what I need before I tell you – my friends – everything… But trust me when I say I’m much better now than when any of you first met me. Still not the embodiment of perfection as some would like me to be, but tempered, maybe stronger…

There isn’t much else to me than what anyone sees… If there’s anything else, I probably keep it inside until its okay to be let out… Which it rarely ever is.

I’ve lived a quarter-life, I guess… I can’t call it a half-life because I’ve somehow lived with equal amounts of happiness and sadness. The biggest issue I’ve had to deal with is my lack of confidence. I don’t believe in myself, at all… People say I have talent, I don’t think I do. My friends say I’m “cool”, “unique”… I don’t see anything cool or unique… I see…

A boy, 14 or 16, stuck in a body of a 21 year old. I don’t know how I made it this far, seriously. But I’ve accepted that my mind works on a younger wavelength for some reason… Hence, here’s a piece of teenangst from my journal, circa 2007. I reiterate, this was from a LONG time ago.

I have this… Jealousy thing… There’s this cosplayer, and she’s totally awesome, her entire group is awesome… Part of me wants to be what she is, and believe me, that’s a tall order.

But how am I supposed to do all that? I don’t have legions of fans or the ability to churn out awesome cosplay. Okay, I have a FEW people who like it when I get up there but that changes nothing… What keeps me from the stage is the adage, “doing it wrong”. I don’t want to do it wrong, AT ALL. So how I see myself as a cosplayer is either I do it right, or I don’t do it at all.

I never did like thinking like this. I don’t think I like this anymore, sort of. I still want to do things right, but doesn’t everyone? I love cosplaying, and it saddens me that it’s become a joke… A lot of people don’t cosplay for the fun, they do it to win, to compete... Cosplay used to be crazy fun, and sometimes, it still is… I’m not calling anyone out, I’m not looking for drama, this is just the opinion of someone who loves cosplay.

I did it wrong as well. I cosplayed Riku a co... ]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/20194839/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/20194839/ Thu, 28 Aug 2008 02:00:50 PDT
Wow. Um, in light of recent things, if anyone ever managed to capture the 500th and 1000th view of my page, please send it to me... I'd like to put up more artwork and a couple of kiriban is a good excuse.

Which means the next ones up for grabs are the 1,500th and 2000th view.

Please enjoy~

~sad note~

My memory card went floozy with all my saved games. My trophy saves are gone, as well as my Wild Arms: The Vth Vanguard and Persona 3: FES saves. Sad, but life goes on.

]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/16472104/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/16472104/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 09:11:54 PST
and







They just... I just love them to bits... cris-art especially. You wanna know why? Check out his gallery... (Hint: yaoi)

Anyway, I'm currently working on a few things... I hope to get them up here soon even if they are total crap... XDD

]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/13257026/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/13257026/ Thu, 07 Jun 2007 19:34:06 PDT
I don't know why... I can't draw at all lately, and every time I look at my deviantart, I see people who're a lot more talented than I am... It makes me overly-conscious of my own artwork... I can't draw the way they do... I can't even use Photoshop well enough to save my life...

I try to draw every night... But nothing seems to faze me enough to get me to draw... AND I see all the Kingdom Hearts artwork and I just wanna keel over and die.

I wanna give up, 'cause even my sister's on DA and she's better than me already...

]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/13094707/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/13094707/ Fri, 25 May 2007 22:41:35 PDT
2. Full Name: Kitsuhara Kisuke Mizui [Carlo Miguel Castañeda]

3. Birthday: 21/04/87

4. Have you been in love?: Yes

5. Are you in love right now?: Yes... Sorta

6. Which color is your underwear?: Black

7. Have you been drunk?: Yes, five times this summer.

8. Did you love so deeply to cry for someone?: Yes

9. Ever been in a car crash? Yeah...

10. Parfum?: Penshoppe Paints - Orange

11. Sprite or Seven up?: Pepsi

12. Beer or wine?: Beer

13. Coffee or tea?: Coffee, mocha preferrably

14. If you were a crayon, which color would you be?: Sea Green

15. Plain color pyjama... or with lil animals on it?: Blue with white stripes... Maybe

16. Favourite food: Tempura/French Fries

17. Best part to be kissed?: Neck

19. Flower: Tulip

20. Topic you hate the most: Sex

21. Your typical girl: Someone smart, but has a good sense of humor...

22. Do you have a crush on someone?: Yes

23. Favourite movie: Pirates of The Carribean

24. Hugs or kisses?: Both

25. Last time you were in a hospital?: Hospitalized? 20 years ago. For other purposes... 5 years ago.

26. What color is the carpet/floor in your bedroom?: Tiles

27. How was your teddy Bear named?: Knight

28.Where do you picture yourself in 15 years?: Travelling the world, going to video game shows, travelling to see the world.

29. From who did you receive this shit?: Got tagged months ago, copied it and pasted it in my computer... Don't remember who.

30. Which one of your friends lives more far away from you?: I have a friend in France, one in Japan, and several in the USA

31. How much do you love/loved school?: I loved high school 45% of the time, and college 80% of the time.

32. Are you resentmentful?: Just a bit.

33.Who do you think is going to answer all this sooner?: People who've got too much time on their hands.

34. Pets?: A dog, 3 kittens with another on the way

35. Best friend?: Suzy, Allen and 4 other people... You know who you are.

37. What would you change about your life?: I'd change the fact that I'm a bit attatched to my past.

38.How much rings before picking up the phone?: 2

39. Weakness?: My friends.

40. First thing that pops up to your mind when you wake up: I wonder how _ _ _ _ is today?

41. Storms: Only if I'm indoors, with a hot mug of chocolate.

42. If you could be someone else, who would you like to be?: I'd like to be more like... Anyone who isn't afraid to let go.

43. Something you always wear and never take off: My glasses, except when I go to bed.

44. Have you ever been depressed?: Yeah.

45.What's below your bed?: Boxes

46. What's your dreamcar?: 2007 Mazda 3 MPS

47. Who sent you this?: I don't remember.

48. Do you hate someone??: Not particularly.

49. Who would you like to answer this: Anyone

50. What would you say to someone and you don't dare?:
One more out of you and I'll kiss you. (I actually did this once...)

51. Prefered colours: Black, White, Green, Blue

52. Overused phrases/words: Whatever...

53. Favourite Book?: Inheritance Trilogy, Abhorsen Trilogy

54: The best?: The best friends you'll ever have are the ones you've lost and found again.

55. What do you do when you're bored?: read a book

57. Open or serious relationship?: Serious.

58. What's Life for you?: A story that you have to write on your own terms

59. Which shampoo do you use?: H&S

60. Favourite song?: Sen No Yoru O Koete by Aqua Timez

61. Saddest moment in your life?: I don't want to talk about it.

62. Do you love someone right now?: Yeah, sadly.

64 What do you look for at the opposite sex?: Wittyness

63. Funniest person you know?: My sister

65. Do you fear something?: I'm afraid of being alone...

66. What do you think about death?: Its inevitavble...

67. Have you had a crush on a close friend of yours: Yes.

68. How many time does it take for you to get ready for going out?: 15-45 minutes.

69. Place you would like to be right now?: Somewhere cozy with someone I'm in like with.

70. Favourite Magazine: Shonen Jump/Famitsu

71. Would you kiss passionately the person who sent you this?: Maybe, if only I could remember who sent it.

72. What would you like to have in your life the most?:... ]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/12883386/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/12883386/ Tue, 08 May 2007 03:06:05 PDT
The people I care for the most in this world are on opposite sides and I stand in the middle of it all. Though I despise watching this happen, I can't do anything but.

Anyway... I've submitted streams of photos and that's all... I can't draw at the moment...

Its okay... I'll have something up soon...

]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/11890105/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/11890105/ Tue, 20 Feb 2007 04:22:09 PST
And the first Song turned into a deviation: "Re:Re:"!

Next songs: 12 and 24 ji

]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/11630951/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/11630951/ Wed, 31 Jan 2007 04:09:44 PST
]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/10827389/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/10827389/ Thu, 23 Nov 2006 19:52:32 PST
As for my artwork... Umm... I kinda feel like the "Touch" is gone... I can't draw right now... So I'm writing... Maybe I'll post the first poem I've written in years here later... I don't know yet...

The next time I post any photos it'll be of me a Riku... He's next on my list... And as for my taste in music, I like pop so everyone back up off me.

]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/10654376/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/10654376/ Wed, 08 Nov 2006 01:59:05 PST
]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/9195076/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/9195076/ Tue, 27 Jun 2006 01:35:50 PDT 1. Be finally happy
2. Cosplay
3. Draw like Memer, maybe...
4. Grow my hair out
5. Lose wieght
6. Find the right one
7. Be a little more wild

SEVEN THINGS I CAN'T (OR WON'T) DO:
1. Skinny dip
2. Kill someone I like
3. Be true to myself
4. I can't play an instrument
5. I can't stop thinking about my past
6. I can't stop hurting myself
7. I can't not keep secrets

SEVEN THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
1. 'Ahou'
2. 'Nande mo nai'
3. 'Like you care'
4. 'shite'
5. 'Naze ga boku wa na?!'
6. 'Whatever...'
7. 'No.'

SEVEN MOVIES I COULD (OR DO) WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN:

1. V for Vendetta
2. Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children
3. FullMetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shambala
4. DARE
5. The New Guy
6. Shall We Dance
7. Take the Lead

SEVEN VIDEO GAMES THAT THE STORY JUST GRABS YOU:
1. Kingdom Hearts 1, Chain of Memories, 2
2. Grandia 3
3. Tales of Legendia
4. Onimusha 1-4
5. Drakengard
6. Devil May Cry
7. Dance Maniax 2nd Mix


1. Do you like animals?
- Sure... Cats mostly.
2. Have you ever met an online friend in person?
- Yes.
3. Are you athletic?
- Let me put it this way... NO...
4. Are you: thin, fat, athleticlly built etc:
- Damn if I know...
5. How much do you weigh?
- 76 lbs.
6. What's your height?
- 5'6"
7. Shoe size?
- 9 1/2
8. Girls- are you tomboyish, girly, normal, etc?
- pass
9. Guys- Are you girly, or guyish?
- What's it to ya?!
10. How old are you?
- 19.
11.When's your birthday?
- April 21
12. Do you like to receive giftart?
- Sure... but I'm not popular so I mostly keep to myself
13. Are you sociable?
- Only with people who share the same interests...
14. Do you have many friends?
- Maybe...
15. What's your race?
- Filipino-Japanese-Spanish-Lycanthrope-Vampire.
16. Do you like to talk on the phone?
- Only if I have to
Are you single or taken?
- Single.
18. Do you eat meat?
- Yeah.
19. Are you paranoid?
- Once in a while...
20. Do you read a lot?
- Yeah...
21. Do you listen to music, what kind?
- I'm Ecclectic.
22. Do you play any instruments?
- No.
23.How long have you been drawing?
- Since I was 5
24.What's the meaning of life?
- Life is existing to fulfill a purpose.
25. Now tag five of your friends! They MUST take this quiz and post it in their Journal!!!! ]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/8690851/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/8690851/ Sat, 06 May 2006 11:59:26 PDT
Most definitely something else...

]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/8627200/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/8627200/ Sun, 30 Apr 2006 03:29:59 PDT
1.) I act like I'm not 19... I don't act all mature and overbearing like most dudes my age do.

2.) I like Yaoi... I think it's better than frying my mind with hentai... Nothing past PG-15 though.

3.) I sleep at irregular hours, or none at all.

4.) I have dreams of shattering doors and Keyblades

5.) I have a temper, although I'm a pacifist.

6.) I relax by sitting in front of a computer and doing stuff like this. ]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/8424821/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/8424821/ Mon, 10 Apr 2006 06:37:45 PDT
I've retreated to my hometown, and I got a PS2 for my birthday... I know, its waaaaaaay late... But its better late than never and so, I've been playing Grandia 3 like crazy... Same for the first Kingom Hearts...

I'll try to have new artwork here in the next week or so, but I can't promise stuff as good as Lasaro's or BlackMage9's art... ]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/7660098/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/7660098/ Fri, 20 Jan 2006 18:00:35 PST
The song is Beyonce's Check on It... Crazy huh? But Rikku's got DDR on the brain... ^_^ ]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/7595126/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/7595126/ Fri, 13 Jan 2006 17:56:38 PST
I didn't have that fear... Why? Because I feel that my art is my art, its imperfections are what make it unique, BUT... If I want to win, I have to conform to the definition of "perfection".

I really wonder why I have to, but hey, its kinda like wondering why we breathe... You really just have to, even if you don't feel like it. ]]> ~twilightsoffspring http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/7567015/ http://twilightsoffspring.deviantart.com/journal/7567015/ Tue, 10 Jan 2006 17:41:01 PST
It took the RP Forum I'm on to make me create my Deviant... I said that I'm my harshest critic, and I never think my art can quite match up to my best friend, or to anyone who uses the Anime/Manga art style... But things change... I've decided to give my art a little more confidence, because I drew it, and I sure as hell can put it up for display if I want to. I think that I should do this, and I hope that anyone looking at my artwork will like it, such as it is. ]]> ~twilightsoffspring