http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:vagabondtrv&section=today deviantART RSS for by:vagabondtrv en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 25 Nov 2009 05:35:21 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/17940945/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/17940945/ Sun, 20 Apr 2008 09:20:47 PDT
How immature and sad is this dude's life? How horrible is it to be so wrapped up in fan-fiction that when someone says even one thing that is less than ADORING of the "work" they submit (which, by the way I didn't, although the piece was something a third grader might have written) they fly off the handle?

Puberty is/was a painful experience, but Jesus Fucking Christ get the fuck over it. And if his friends love what he does so much (which, by the way, I don't believe they could because it would have to be LEGIBLE first), well, bully for him. It certainly doesn't mean I have to.

So. . .once again, fuck this place.

Message me for my email if you want it.

I believe that's my cue to exit.

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/17830761/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/17830761/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 11:25:38 PDT
1) I do get comments from a few people who actually read what I post, and I appreciate them--those are the only people I'd even CONSIDER staying in contact with, if they were interested in continuing to read my POS work.

2) There are a very few people who post here whose work I actually enjoy and/or find worthy of my time.
2.a) I cannot stand fan fiction, the Japanese anime crap, the Japanese vampire hunting crap, the JAPANESE HARRY POTTER FAN FICTION CRAP, the poorly constructed sentences, the misuse of italics, bolds and underlines, the horrible dialogue, the ridiculous LACK of plot.. . almost everything about the galleries, with rare exceptions, is worthless, tiresome and ridiculous. I'm only nineteen and no, my writing was not pristine or perfect, but I wrote better at the age of 9 than most of these kids do at the age of 15!

3) I started submitting to this site as a way of showing my friends my "work". It evolved into an actually critical dialogue with other artists along the way. Now I have to slog through page after page of crap to find something halfway decent, and it's not worth it.

so. . .I might not ever post on here again. Email if needed.

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/17316303/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/17316303/ Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:34:13 PDT
in other news





I am not writing, but I am formulating, and thinking, and dreaming, and walking around in that semi-awake state I am so fond of, where everything is real but removed and only important in the details that pertain to my next story idea.



but when the police come knocking on the door twice in less than a month looking for the weed we aren't growing or selling, the creative state sort of gets shattered and that's where I am sitting, on top of a pile of ideas and half formed characters and bare glimpses of "what it could be if I actually wrote it", shaking from the visit from the narcs and sort of sick to my stomach thanks to my period.

oh. and. . . panic is a mild word for the utter terror that takes me over any time and I stop and think about it.

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/16702959/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/16702959/ Sun, 03 Feb 2008 08:21:09 PST looksy.

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/15420621/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/15420621/ Thu, 08 Nov 2007 13:21:27 PST
College is different. Not good or bad, just different.

I submitted a poem. Please read.


-casie.

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/14359663/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/14359663/ Mon, 27 Aug 2007 04:57:17 PDT
aaaand I still hate nickleback.

buuuuut I've been writing. in smallish incriments. so, wish me well.

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/14169228/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/14169228/ Tue, 14 Aug 2007 18:10:34 PDT
I do not know what "chibi" means.

I do not like comics or cartoons or fanfiction having to do with anime, manga or anything vaguely resembling it.

I do not get.


tha end.

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/14118109/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/14118109/ Sat, 11 Aug 2007 10:56:53 PDT Then I'd know how to please you
It's sad but true
So I'll just listen in down the line
While you're busy mixing grape with grain
To sedate your pain

Songbird, you got tales to tell
How many times can you describe your living hell?

The sweeping gesture creates a fuss
It's only useful when receiving praise
Relieving no-ones pain
If you'd let somebody love you just enough
You'd have everything you'd need to break
Free from all your pain

Songbird, you got tales to tell
How many times can you describe your living hell?

If you'd let somebody love you just enough



bernard fanning

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/14095584/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/14095584/ Thu, 09 Aug 2007 19:14:42 PDT
yeah, I am going to college. and yeah, I realize how against I was for so long. yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't do anything even remotely creative or productive this summer.

I did, however, discover something that helps me liberate my mind--it makes drawing easier. I have a problem. I know exactly what I have to do to make a picture work logically but I always have a problem committing. but that problem is no more.

didn't write. I am so disappointed in myself.

is my creative drive ca-put? I think it might be.

I hope it isn't.

on a more cheerful note: yay me. I got a 4 on my AP English exam. I attend college with 6 credits already under my belt (whatever that means) and instead of boring old freshman English comp 1, I get to take whatever I want. and I chose Intro to Shakespear (I should probably learn how to spell it).

college?

wtf. srsly.

I'm not reeeeally raging right now, internet won't work right and I can't change my "smiley" face.

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/13734400/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/13734400/ Sat, 14 Jul 2007 15:37:39 PDT
]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/13238829/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/13238829/ Wed, 06 Jun 2007 12:15:50 PDT
Greg, my father, is a really talented story teller and speaker. He's not a bad writer either.

He's led an amazing life and lived in Botswana for two years as a child. His experiences there have shaped his life, ranging from UFO sightings to tonsilitis trouble and almost being killed in an elephant stampeed (I've never been allowed to ride the Indian elephant at Busch Gardens).

He just has trouble writing about these things.

To start, he is going to relate five experiences to me and I am going to write them in my own style. I'll be posting them here but DA doesn't strike me as the sort of place that would find any interest in these stories.

But that is my latest project.

The end.

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/13166251/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/13166251/ Thu, 31 May 2007 16:12:42 PDT
pitiful.

people filled my yearbook and my brain this last few months with praise on my writing, my "talent" and my "gift" for it.

toil, toil.

I haven't written a single worthwhile thing in forever.

I'm proud of one paper I produced for school.

everything else is farce.

and when it feels real to me it reads like angsty troubled teen garbage.

go away, hack hack hack.

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/12467049/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/12467049/ Thu, 05 Apr 2007 07:30:03 PDT
It's finally Spring Break but in reality, it doesn't feel like a break. It seems like a week and a half of school work without having to make a 1/2 hour drive. But that's okay. Lots of kids are freaking out about this last stretch and all the work we have to do. I plan to do the work but I am not overwhelmed. Or underwhelmed. I just don't give a toot.

Question: is it really senioritis if I've been acting like this since 3ed grade?

What's upsetting me is this: there are three or four REQUIRED masses graduates MUST attend in order to walk in the ceremony. Raghr.

I've been reeeal busy. So busy, in fact, that I haven't updated this mess since November.

Since then I've written some poems, drawn some things, taken a lot of pictures. Added on to some old stories; I got a tattoo, ended a couple friendships, acted in a hit of a play, produced, directed, chopped and scored$ three videos (read: mini movies), celebrated one whole year with Anthony, made a teacher cry. . .again, gained five pounds, lost eight pounds, cut my hair. . .and so many other things.

Failed a couple classes--but it wouldn't be me if I wasn't teetering on the edge so close to graduation.


Anyway, that's me. =]





"I've been waiting
i've been waiting for this moment all my life
but it's not quite right." [silversun pickups, lazy eye]

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/10859875/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/10859875/ Sun, 26 Nov 2006 17:54:52 PST surge. Maybe before I wasn't in an honest place with myself--Anthony is a new element in my life and I don't like to face things until I know how permanent they are. It's been nearly a year since he and I have been involved, nearly six months since we first saw each other naked, and about three days since my latest psychotic meltdown in his presence. Perhaps he isn't permanent, but he isn't temporary, either.

So I am at a place where I can be honest with myself and part of that comes from my work. I won't call it "art" because. . .it isn't. But it's me, always in one form or another.

I wish I had something more important to say. I can't really sum my life up in a word either, because it's been shitty, gritty, nice, fun, hectic, slow, terrifying, exhausting and exhillerating all at the same time. I'm taking AP English in school, and as much as I appreciate the challenge, it's still not hard enough for me. My math is easy and so is psychology and economics and social justice--so it goes without saying that I am failing all of those classes. Marine Science is about the only thing I excell, only because the work is fairly easy and I have a real interest in the material.

My plan is still to move out ASAP. I still don't know if I want to go to college. On one level I know I have to--or else start making my own car payments. I just don't know why it's so damned important if I do. And it really sounds so damned conceited of me to say that everyone tells me I am brilliant and should go to college, and it sounds bratty to say I get tired of hearing it--but it's true. So far, this term, nine people have said it to me. Maybe ten. But tell me what brilliance has to do with anything, anywhere?

And I am finding out that I have hippy tendencies, which I sort of knew, but I have this violent reaction to being referred to as a hippy.

But see, it's all bullshit.

That's what I have learned lately.

I live for the moments when I don't think about anything at all. I like being lost. maybe I am laughing really hard with my friends, or yelling my ass off at somebody and kicking ass with logic as my weapon of choice. Or I'm fooling around with Anthony and can't breathe. . .let alone think. Or I'm reading a book that will end eventually even though I don't want it to. These are the things I love. I forget about all of the things that used to make me break down and freak out and scare the shit out of me.

Which is why I haven't been writing like I should. Because when I do, I have to admit that even though I forgot about it, it still exists. Life is about the tangible and intangible. Just because I like the things that are tangible doesn't mean I can ignore the other shit. . . like, thinking, painting, writing.

So that is my reintroduction to DA. I'll post what I have as it comes back.


Picked a girl up at the trainstop where I live, took a drive along the beach by the ocean
Talk about the dreams we had while we were growing old, wrote a poem on the back of your shoulder

Tell me your name, tell me your story cause I'm into it
Running through life like a misfit

I will start again

Give the dog a bone to chew as I drive around, wrote this song last night while I was sober . . . And I kept on driving

I will start again
Tell me your name, tell me your story cause I'm into it
Running through life like a misfit


Elefant Misfit

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8953680/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8953680/ Fri, 02 Jun 2006 20:21:05 PDT mmm.

Got to know Anthony a little better recently. It was nice. Actually it was much, much better than nice and I seem to owe several of my friends an apology. Cause they were more or less right. What am I hinting at? I leave it up to interpretation. Stopped short of anything hazerdous to my health or future.

This summer as usual I plan on going through my files and seeing if anything catches my eye to add on to. I hope to start a new project but I've been having so much trouble actually writing. And now I do have a new path of inspiration to explore so hopefully something will come of that. So to speak.

Yeah. I am the Queen of Subtle, yes? How the mighty have fallen. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8854382/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8854382/ Tue, 23 May 2006 12:54:42 PDT
We shall see.

Posted drawings.

If you are a smart person, you won't discount the band Flyleaf. If you are an odd person, you will fall in love with Gogol Bordello. And if you are a wise person, you will have already realized the genius of the Dresden Dolls.


{I am just a worthless liar|I am just a an imbecile|I will only complicate you|Trust in me and fall as well|I will find a center in you|I will chew it up and leave} tool ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8824385/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8824385/ Sat, 20 May 2006 09:48:14 PDT

I still do not know what 'hater blockers' are.


Posted a drawing, which in my mind is better than none.






doctors and pills cure
imaginary ills.
*AM stereo ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8800555/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8800555/ Wed, 17 May 2006 17:24:18 PDT it's too much

Aaaah.
Boy trouble, school trouble, home trouble, car trouble. Please forgive my recent and super-long absence. I have been writing, constantly, and drawing as well. Actually Trish has a fist full of things to scan for me, which at long last shall be submitted.

Still trying to figure out what this boy and I have in common besides the inconsequential things, such as we both of us eat cheese-weenies without cooking them, and chew on the insides of our mouths. His has bled before, mine just has a line of loose skin. I love him. It's weird and I am still adjusting to it. He infuriates me and repeatedly breaks my heart (although to be fair, lately I've been like a lady on menopause and also haven't let him know when he pisses me off), but then he'll say something surprisingly wonderful and I am once more bestotted. It is a vicious and ridiculous cycle, one that reminds me why I used to make fun of teen daters. But as I said I (scoff) love him. Argh.

But if I write about that or ponder it too often it is because, of all the things in my life currently making my weak tummy churn, that is the most immediate and the one I have to the most control over.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen. What a droll part of my recent childhood. It's been helping to repeat it constantly. It applies here vastly.

Finals next week and then, who knows? This will be my summer of uncertainty. We'll see if I even return to school, any school, next year.

That all sounded dramatic, but I've been reading and watching Shakespear lately. Just makes me want to fancy it up.

hope all is well elsewhere
-casie. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8644107/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8644107/ Mon, 01 May 2006 17:16:57 PDT
Livestock was the SHIT. Rob Zombie is god. I saw boobies, buttocks, and penis(es). Anthony protected me at the risk of his own health. Someone got dropped on his neck. Everytime a pit opened up near us--pretty much wherever we were, even walking--he kept his body in the line of fire. And he let me wear his shirt when I was freezing cold even though I'm sure he was, too. And on the ride home he let me pass out in his lap.

Prom is this week, to which Anthony shall not be attending. But we is picking him up afterwards and going to Trish's to swim which will be fun. Also this week is our four month anniversery thingie as well as a landmarker of which a few people are privy to. Believe it or not we do the 'I Love You' thing pretty regularly, a shock to both of us. Sad.

And interesting how my journals have become all about him. Sick.

WILL upload some work......soon....ish. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8604810/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8604810/ Thu, 27 Apr 2006 17:55:12 PDT
Anthony To Me: By the way--you're not wandering off anywhere. My sister told me what goes on there and....yeeeah. No.

It's going to be fun. Then on Sunday I am going to sleep and not wake up for a very long time because I plan to be pooped. I should probably find the tickets before Saturday. Probably. Started to watch the movie Tristan and Isolde last night but I got...distracted...but what I saw of it was good. And Fun With Dick and Jane wasn't too terribly bad. One of my new favorite quotes is from Bench Warmers, tho. "Ath-e-lete? I didn't know athlete had three syllables. That's amazazing."

I got some drawings done and **gasp** some writing done which I plan to submit tommorow. People in Planes is a great band. Arctic Monkeys as well. The Subways I actually got into a little while ago, lost the cd, and then found it again, so I quite like them currently.

MmmmMmmMmMmmmm. Pro-Lifers make my teeth grind. The people in my class. Well, alls I can say is when your argument starts to have to reach toward mythology, science fiction and CHURCH ideals of original sin, you should rethink it. I understand why people think abortion is wrong and that's fine--but it's just as unethical to tell a woman she can't do with her body what she wishes. Bacteria are living organisms but we don't kick people in the nuts for ridding themselves of that.

But whatever. I know what I believe. I have rights as a woman and human being. Everyone else can just munch my nuts. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8533661/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8533661/ Thu, 20 Apr 2006 16:31:09 PDT
Came home and brewed home made iced tea like my grams used to make. Won't see Anthony till Sunday which gives me three nights to figure my revenge.

I bathed in nicotine. I'm pretty sure that's not really a good thing.




Eeeeeeungh. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8523137/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8523137/ Wed, 19 Apr 2006 16:43:35 PDT
Going through all my old writing (again) and listening to the Dead Boys. Good stuff. The music, I mean, most of the writing has been crap.

I'm So Sick of Romance, Yeah, I'm Gettin Real SICK Of Youse. dead boys ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8505279/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8505279/ Mon, 17 Apr 2006 22:22:06 PDT
Perfect night. Wish my dad was here. He'd be coming to get me in seconds and I'd be out of here. I know it's bad when my skin feels tight.

Whatever. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8450244/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8450244/ Wed, 12 Apr 2006 15:32:49 PDT
It's Holy Week which means the diocese decided to be nice and release us so we can reflect on the sacrifice of our good lord and savior, Jesus the Christ. Right. Because that's what I do on Spring Break.

Actually it shall be quite tame, as usual for me, just hanging about. Easter Dinner with the whole fam-damly and brave little Anthony. I acutally suspect now that I have told him all my horror stories and given him warnings that my family will be tame and unassuming on Sunday, ruining any credibility I have. Which is fine. Uncle Chris will be there and even if he IS nice and quiet, he is massive. And good with knives. I just want the boy to pee his pants a little.

Hmmm. After a long time of barely holding hands without blushing, Anthony and I got "friendly" (as Trish put it aha) pretty rapidly. So some adult supervision will be welcome. "Making out" is quite gross. Which I knew.

Sunday I was in Orlando and we ate lunch at the House of Blues. When we got there it turned out that Alkaline Trio and Against Me! were playing to a sold out show and I was pissed! BUT as we were leaving the resteraunt, I saw a huge black bus backing up and it was surrounded by men in tatoos with badges and I said, "I think that is Alkaline Trio's bus!" And who but my four foot tall gramma marches up to on of them and says, "Not to make a fuss, but is this the Alkaline Trio tour bus?" The man nodded and I giggled in glee. Then he let me touch it!! WHOOOOAOOOAOOAOAO!

I know that is quite dorky but it made me so happy. I was giddy for HOURS! ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8387992/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8387992/ Thu, 06 Apr 2006 19:20:35 PDT
I.
Am.
Going.
To.
LIVESTOCK!!!!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH! I cannot wait!!! I am probably going to pee myself. I have the bestest of confusing boyfriends. His 3 month anniversery (I keep spelling that wrong, yeah?) gift to me. I bought him hand sanitizer. He gets me tickets. To. See. ROB ZOMBIE! YEEEEEAH!

I guess I owe him sexual favors now?

(that was a joke, I know I owe him nothing...that doesn't mean he's going to get nothing)

So I shall go to school tommorow. And it shall suck. But all will be well--cause I am going to Livestock and I am going with Anthony, who has never been to a rock concert before. Oh, the fun I shall have. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8376631/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8376631/ Wed, 05 Apr 2006 17:47:33 PDT ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8363619/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8363619/ Tue, 04 Apr 2006 12:49:04 PDT This Picture Placebo

Farewell the ashtray girl, forbidden snowflake
Beware this troubled world, watch out for earthquakes
Goodbye to open sores, to broken semaphore
You know we miss her, we miss her picture

Sometimes it's fated disintegrated it
For fear of growing old
Sometimes it's fated assassinated it
For fear of growing old

Farewell the ashtray girl, angelic fruitcake
Beware this troubled world, control your intake
Goodbye to open sores, goodbye and furthermore
You know we miss her, we miss her picture ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8363610/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8363610/ Tue, 04 Apr 2006 12:48:25 PDT
Sick. Either I have allergies (which I don't) or a cold (and I never get sick), so either way I am pretty pissed.

Anthony came over last night, of course. [3 Month Anniversary Thingy, BTW] He had to leave kind of early...but we just sat there as we normally do and watched CMT (wasn't as bad as I thought it would be). And a few days ago I told him *something* (peppered with a lot of 'uhs' 'erms' 'kindas' 'sortas') and today he told me he is thinking he feels the same way. So that's weird. But now he's peeved at me for not telling him stuff bout my personal history. Which is noble of him for wanting to know, but really, once you start dragging that shit out it's hard to not talk about it ever again.

When he left last night we were both pretty bummed. I didn't want him to go back to his house and he didn't want to either. It's a dump, a mess. Even if they clean it up which will take YEARS, I don't like him to live there. But he hasn't got a lot of options. And last night when he went home he finished off a bag and is now done smoking.

The reason I write about him a lot is because I am confused half the time and 'being with him' has bred a LOT of interesting poetry and pictures. Trishy, can I use your scanner? It's weird. Because I wrote for so long how I didn't want to date anyone and how I don't like a certain type of people and that I don't want to just date carelessly. And then what? I go on a blind date with a stoner and it's silly to say this but end up caring for him A LOT. What the hell?

Like I said...it's weird. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8315795/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8315795/ Thu, 30 Mar 2006 15:52:01 PST [which is silly. I am a neurotic mess. a meanie. in a permanent physical state of drab. constantly questioning everything. failing. apathetic about the things that should matter.]

...but...

...I am insecure. He sees this as my only fault. Which made me laugh. And points out that I haven't been very open with him, if this is the one thing he notices. I SHOULD be happy that he hasn't got too much to choose from. Right. That would be the sane approach. Instead, I'm...seeing it as a challenge. He told me to open up more. Well, he asked for it, I guess. Heh. I'll warn him first.

Monday will officially be 3 months. Which is small in the scheme of things. But my last "romantic" experience lasted a week. And the more I think about that fiasco and the stupid, inane things that followed, the more I am convinced that all things up to this point are trivial. Not that this boy is bigger than my life, just that...any other time, I'd never have made it this long. I would have had a panic attack and either scared him off or told him to fuck off.

But because of the people who have come and gone, some easier to let go than others, I've approached this calmly. He has a habit that infuriates me on principal. He does something that was a huge, gigantic wedge in a friendship of mine. He does it when I'm on the phone with him and he does it when I am with him. He does something that I get into brawls with my dad about. And he's still in my life. Even if were just friends, by now I would have told him to start walking.

So why is it I let it come between friendships, but not this? I have no fucking clue. It's really a silly thing to dwell on as well. But I think I have an idea as to why.

He actually waited two and a half months for a very rushed, very small kiss. We even managed to bang glasses while doing it. And it took five minutes of standing in the cold before I got the nerve up to just do it. I dunno.

None of this makes sense. I just felt like writing about it. Cross my fingers that we make it to Monday...

...

-casie. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8308421/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8308421/ Wed, 29 Mar 2006 19:34:33 PST
Very confused lately. Sick a lot. Thinking, pondering. Going to prom (gag gag gag) if you can believe it. Will I dance? Possibly. Will I wear a sparkly dress? Yes, actually. Will I partake in the traditional (read: cliche) after-prom activities? Ah, no. Might try to catch a movie...or something.

Writing and rewriting...drawing. Mostly doing school work and sleeping. SAT saturday. Whoopie.

-casie. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8267109/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8267109/ Sat, 25 Mar 2006 16:42:33 PST
Liam Lynch: My United States of Whatever
Lil Rob: Let's Get Nasty
Godsmack: Moon Baby, Whatever, VooDoo
Eagles of Death Metal: Speaking In Tongues, Shit Goddamn
Nirvana: Where Did You Sleep Last Night?
Missy Elliot: Work It, Pass That Dutch
Panic! At The Disco: I Write Sins Not Tragedies
Sean Paul: Temprature
10 Years: Wasteland
Drowning Pool: Bodies
Chevelle: Suffocating, Vitamin R, The Red
Death Cab For Cutie: Souls Meets Body, Crooked Teeth, Sound of Settling
Postal Service: The District Sleeps Alone Tonight
Radiohead: Creep
Violent Femmes: American Music, Blister in the Sun, Country Death Song, Add It Up
The Pixies: Gigantic, Where Is My Mind, Monkey Gone to Heaven
Led Zeppelin: Dancing Days



Who knows why?

-casie. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8229306/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8229306/ Tue, 21 Mar 2006 17:03:24 PST Me.
I went into a room full of people I didn't know and I was just there, being there, in a room FILLED with people and I only knew one of them and he was twenty feet away from me for five hours.
His sister was nice and so was his gramma and aunt, but it doesn't negate the fact that this was a family affair and I was so NOT family. His sister's boyfriend was there but they'd been together two years. Needless to say I felt akward. But Anthony looked nice and I think just about strained his back dancing, which was great, cause his aunt jumped up and snapped pictures instead of helping.

Then last night I went over to his (and Justin and James') new house to help them clean. Oh, the hilarity. Boys are sweet. They take your fear and turn it into a running joke. "OmigodlookaFROG!" became the most repeated phrase of the night, alongside "Holy fuck, dude, what the fuck is that?", "Justin I swear to God dude if you don't work I'll kick your ass", and "COW!". Anthony found a tub of butter so old it had turned black. Ew. But the worst part was the used feminen products. Amid the debris these gems were placed. Ewwww. But I saw no frogs, so I was content. How romantic is that, huh? Take your girlfriend to your house and make her shovel trash all night. Yeee-haw.

So I am just rolling with it. It's interesting (if slight unsanitary) if nothing else.

Hope all is well.
-casie. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8199296/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8199296/ Sat, 18 Mar 2006 15:59:23 PST do know, let alone meeting this kid's entire family for the first time ever. I met his mom once, and one of his little brothers (covered in speggeti at the time), but that would be the extent of it. Jeezy creezy even his grandma is going to be there. So why go? Because I look like a downright hottie in the outfit I got for it. And also, I refuse to pass up a chance to see this boy in a tux.

I am rewriting--almost entirely--the Vennie story. I am cleaning it up, trying to make it make some sense. It's also going to be in first person. So as much as I'd like to kick out some new stuff, I set a goal for myself with this particular project and I intend to reach it. All the caffeine I can find will be there to assist me.

The Fiesta has arrived! WHOOOOOHA! I simply cannot wait for the PowWow. Assuming AIM doesn't go off its rocker and protest again.

Aha. For whatever reason Anthony wants to hook Trishy up with his friend Justin (who's actually driven me quite a few places and picked me up from school, and we've hardly ever talked). So the seed has been planted and we shall see what blossoms. Hehehehe. Justin's actually a pretty cool dude. Managed to run Anthony over, so there was much giggling on my part to be had.

So life has been...taxing.

-casie.


House and Home
Who thought they could take away That Place?
Outside and they lead us out quietly
They lead us outside and they lead us out...
quietly.

pj harvey ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8140930/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8140930/ Sun, 12 Mar 2006 15:23:33 PST
Ordered an assload of Chinese food (*drool*) in preperation of Eddie Izzard: Dressed to Kill on the BBC tonight. Omg. I cannot wait. Eddie Izzard is the funniest transvestite ever.

Dirty Dancing is called that for a reason. That room full of people dancing at the beginning makes me flinch. But it's still a brilliant flick. Slightly hokie. Somewhat silly. But still pretty brilliant.

Anthony bailed on me again, second or third Sunday in a row. He has to clean out the house he and his a-hole buddies are moving into. Obviously that should come before sitting around my house with me but...yeah I was still pretty annoyed. He's sposed to pick me up from school tommorow. Which, again, is pretty groovy. However, school makes me feel 1) grody, 2) stinky, 3) angry and 4) weary. So. I hope he still likes me after an hour or so in my company.

Haven't written so much lately, or drawn. Sort of in a creativity dry spell. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8057482/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/8057482/ Fri, 03 Mar 2006 15:22:42 PST So.
Two of Anthony's friends got him wasted Tuesday night, which is neither surprising nor any particular news. But, the reason they got him drunk on Tuesday night was so that he would not remember losing his virginity.
And I was not there on Tuesday night.
Yeeeeah.

They invited a friend of someone's sister over with the intention of deflowering Anthony. She was polite enough to tell him so. He did not become a man that night.

So I am pretty peeved. One, had Anthony actually done the deed, he would have been cheating (very, very cheating) on me as well as breaking his own resolution not to have sex till he's 18. Two, although I am sure their hearts were in the right place, Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumb Ass can pretty much suck my cock. Three, although he woke up with a nasty hangover and was almost date raped, I don't feel bad for him. In the meantime Anthony has sworn off alcohol (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!) for the time being.

Argh.
What the hell, that's all? ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7999667/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7999667/ Sat, 25 Feb 2006 13:37:39 PST
Keeping my chin pointedly downward. Bleak and droll, tis I. Anthony is supposed to come over tommorow so we can finished "Unleashed" as well as "Waiting" (which I have not seen yet) and "The Tramp" (which is does not know about yet). All we do is sit on my couch and watch movies. It is our "thing". Also, we hold hands and play with each others fingers. I figured this out, that this is our cutsie couple thing, barf.

Adios. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7974395/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7974395/ Wed, 22 Feb 2006 18:06:36 PST Yesterday I fell off a bike and landed on my face, elbow and hip. I hurt.
Anthony asked for a kiss and I said, nope, and he seems unpeturbed but he probably isn't.
I am dressing up like Charlie Chaplain tommorow.
Big report to do and not enough is done.
I hurt.
A friend called and needed help and I couldn't concentrate enough to be of any help.
Listening to Big Band and Swing calms me down, oddly enough.
Got in a fight with my father.

I guess I need a hug. And a car, and a huge bandaid, and a kiss, and a mustache, and a new right arm, and some clarity. Or an energy drink. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7927166/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7927166/ Fri, 17 Feb 2006 16:13:07 PST said something to me. Melodramatic, neurotic to the bone. That's me.

Writing, drawing, reading, listening to music (did I mention the total unsuck that is Tegan & Sara?). Went to the fair, which is only about an hour from my house. Had a pretty good, sick spinny time. Anthony is an easy mark for all hecklers everywhere. Goats bit me, often and not nicely. Left the fairground at 7:30 and didn't get inside until after 10:30, because I got very very lost and then ran out of gas. I think I cried a little in front of Anthony, which is mortifying on its own.

Haven't heard from him since Tuesday, which isn't all that unusual. I go to school during the day and he works all night and he just happens to be one of those guys that respects the do not call after eleven rule (which I hate).


How's Tricks?

-casie.



no matter which way you go, not matter which way you stay, you're out of my mind, out of my mind, out of my, out of my mind. tegan & sara ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7865554/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7865554/ Sat, 11 Feb 2006 14:08:36 PST

[link]

That ^ makes me giggle every time, no matter what.

Tripping Daisy--I Got A Girl
Weezer--Butterfly
Violent Femmes--Country Death Song
The Ramones--Do You Wanna Dance?
PJ Harvey--Plants and Rags
Tegan and Sara--Speak Slow
Head Automatica--Beating Heart Baby
Louis XIV--God Killed the Queen



Three new bands into lately: Tegan and Sara, The Subways and Glassjaw. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7838969/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7838969/ Wed, 08 Feb 2006 15:32:57 PST
I snapped a bit. Trishy was going on about her bad luck with boys and boyfriends and she asks me, "What is it with guys!?", totally exasperated. And I yelled back, "NOTHING, there is NOTHING with guys, they are you and me and everyone, just a little different DOWN WHERE IT COUNTS, so maybe you should ask WHAT'S WITH PEOPLE, WHY ARE WE WORRIED ABOUT BOYS WHEN PRISONERS IN BURMA GET A HANDFUL OF RICE EACH DAY!"

Here's the thing about me: I like Anthony, quite a bit, cause he's alot like me in creepy, fantastic ways, and I now referr to him as my boyfriend (not easily, but I do it) and he referrs to me as his girlfriend, and we talk on the phone and hold hands and I get a lame ass smile on my face when he pops unbidden into my thoughts and that's great, that's normal. But I'm thinking about the last month and I haven't been properly morally outraged in ages. I'm not saying that Anthony became my narrow scoped focus but it's mostly been TV and Anthony. I totally lost my focus for a little while. He called me a hippy the other night like he was surprised, and then I remembered that in the last month I haven't really ranted about my usual stuff and so of course he has no idea what goes on in my head, outside of things concerning the Simpsons and practical jokes.

Argh.

I don't know WHAT my problem is but I'm FINALLY ANGRY about SOMETHING and it feels good.


Quotes from Bands Who Will Never Get Grammies

Push On Through Gotta Do What You Gotta, Gotta Get Your Feet Wet If You're Gonna Cross The Water.

People Used To Dress Up To Play Croquet.

Beauty Just Like Broken Glass, I Look At You, Big Moment Passed Me By...Just Drive.

Silly Songs About Sex And Cheating Bland Accounts Of Two Lovers Meeting--Makes Me Want To Give Mankind A Beating. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7800492/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7800492/ Sat, 04 Feb 2006 14:32:21 PST
Trish pretty much lives at my house now. Provided she didn't work, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't leave on the weekends.

Anthony's tattoo is the Chinese symbol for weed (didn't know they had one). He refused to tell me for whatever reason. I think he figured I'd be mad since I don't much care for drugs, alcohol and the people that use them, but that's my hang up. He doesn't owe me anything. As long as he doesn't come to my house stoned, I am a happy little camper.

He tried to call me 'banana nut muffin' last night but in truth I prefer 'potato cake'. Yeah. He calls me potato cake, I call him poindexter. This kid played D&D, granted only for a week but once is enough to ensure geekdom. I may be a nerdling in the making, but I have not geeked out that much. Yet.

I started two new stories but I'm only a couple pages in on each so I will wait to post. Mostly artsy-fartsy stuff lately, and figuring out how to color line art in photoshop, which is cool but complicated.


***~everything I touch I break~***
~*stabbing westward*~ ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7774613/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7774613/ Wed, 01 Feb 2006 19:03:24 PST 2) Contact Aunt Donna about babysitting her lovely little weirdos.
3) Contact Uncle Chris and try to form a bond with him in spiteof the fact that we are both shy and quiet and not prone to talking often (despite any impressions born of this site).
4) Research Catholic Summer Camp job (I was conned).
5) See Sherry sooner rather than later.
6) Start scanning art and t-shirt designs.
7) Reserve spot at the Fiesta art show (with bumper stickers and t-shirts for sale, as well as a mix-cd of music I work to).
8) Look for tickets to Wicked (as I finished the book and cried for hours).
9) Buy plywood which is surprisingly cheap to use as canvases.
10) Start posting work. I have grown lazy.

Oh yeah.

11) Pass school.

Oh double yeah.

12) Get kissed [but this is really not something in my control]

Anthony got his tattoo yesterday and I haven't gotten to see it yet, sadly enough. I did however find twenty missing CDs and almost wet myself. That is beside the point. The tat is on his neck and is a Chinese symbol of something he won't tell me (I think 'penis' but for various reasons). A girl told me to go to hell last Friday and I responded with my own special destination and transportation suggestions. Cat fight? Nah. Actually as much as I hate it I have referred to this girl using the 'c-word', a word that I abhor and rarely use. But in her case, if there was a nastier word, I'd use it.

As for the moment I just keep moving and try not to think so hard, cause thinking is starting to hurt but not in a comical way.

They are now using "HOME" by Marc Broussard (my future blues-husband) in a Saturn commercial. Upsetted. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7759867/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7759867/ Tue, 31 Jan 2006 10:11:54 PST getting ahead. When I study, I get d's; when I understand the material, I get d's; when I go for extra credit and help after school, I get d's. Other classes I put forth the minimal amount of effort and pass easily. Barely break a sweat. I absolutely hate school and yes, I've considered quitting, and yes, I've been talked out of it repeatedly. The problem is I know I won't need Chemistry or Algebra in the forseeable future.

Ah, but the S.A.T is coming! Who cares? I can and probably will pass the S.A.T well above 1800 without, again, breaking a sweat. If I bother to take it, which I most likely will not. It's just another test for them to run us through. It's another thing for us to get anxious over and why does everyone in my class think the world begins and end with getting into college? How are they ever going to see anything if this is all they are racing for? It's like running down a tunnel and everything on either side is dark, except for that little bit at the end. I hate that.

Anthony asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Of course he has his life pretty well planned out from this point forward and he did drop out of school. And his question was a joke but it struck me--like I fucking know? I don't even know what I want to do for lunch. I guess I figure I'll eke by on my charm and good looks? Hah. Paint, write...draw cartoons? Tattoos? Waitress? Maybe I should be a philosopher, but I'd probably need to know how to spell it first. A nun! I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, and I'm supposed to be a grown up in about three years.

Nothing in life really matters for me at the moment. My stomach's been churning and my mind has been chasing me around and making me sick. Books, music, TV, the boyfriend, world affairs, friends, family. It's all something to focus on for a little while before the same old thoughts come hurtling back at me. So school is something I have to get through. Because as much as I'd like to, I can't quit now. And I will fail again and again and get d's and get grounded and probably end up breaking up with Anthony and getting in fights with friends and move out and find a job and nothing will matter for too long.

Once I figure out what I want to do, maybe I'll see the point. But for now, who really cares?

Circle Jerks, the Distillers and Violent Femmes. Go for it. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7751492/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7751492/ Mon, 30 Jan 2006 13:12:46 PST Confusion + insecurity + usual bout of crazy= stock in Kleenex company. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7714435/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7714435/ Thu, 26 Jan 2006 14:32:17 PST

Hope All Is Well.


I Concede But I Never Give Up ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7664350/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7664350/ Sat, 21 Jan 2006 07:27:35 PST
I am grounded till Sunday. There are people in Ft. Lauderdale getting my car right this minute. I finally got new glasses. I drewb and drew and drew, and hopefully I will find time to scan the work I've done. My grandma is moving this weekend so there will be much crying. I fell asleep during Battlestar Galactica last night. Gracie is taking the placement test to get into my school (she'll be a freshman next year, freaky).

That's what's new.

Also, on Monday the March for Life will occur and in truly offensive Catholic style, my school will be errecting a series of white crosses that look a helluva lot like grave markers. These will represent the "3,000 Victims of Abortion Every Year". They did this last year. It was disgusting and offensive. As an anti-demonstration, I and an unnamed friend will be putting up tame flyers on student lockers (those who give permission, anyway). We suspect the flyers, although they have calm and logical messages, will be taken down within a 1/2 hour. My Aunt Rita is giving me bumper stickers--they can take stuff off our lockers but not our cars.

The white crosses are morbid and offensive to several people, and last year they were kept up for a week. I'm going to be taking pictures I think. Disgusting. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7603295/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7603295/ Sat, 14 Jan 2006 16:06:16 PST
Another tip: always get band-aids that extend further than the wound. For instance, make sure that the sticky bits are at least three mms away from the sore. Otherwise, skin and blood will be removed when you take the bandaids off. And that hurts like the devil is raping you.

I failed Algebra II first semester. Haha. Niiiiice. I've never failed a full semester before. Am I upset? Yes. Will that wear off in another three days? Yes.

Don't know what I am doing tommorow. Was going to go bowling with this Anthony person; that then became batting cages (so he could laugh at me, I think); which then became go-carting (I think he figured I'd never been, haha). Now I don't have any clue.

On that front, I have yet to be kissed. And actually, that's kind of cool. We've held hands...uhm, twice.

WRITING. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7557703/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7557703/ Mon, 09 Jan 2006 18:45:27 PST 6:07 AM by the way.

I "auditioned" (read about five lines) for Romeo and Juliet this weekend. I wanted to play the friar but the director made me read for Juliet (who I HATE) but it was okay. My mom's friend Mark got the part of Mercutio, which is perfect, because in a room full of men over thirty, there were about three who knew how to read, two who knew what they were saying, and me in the corner laughing. Mark was one of the two who knew what the hell everything meant. I was having a fit though because people kept hitting "banished" softly; it should be banish-ED.

Oh yeeeeeeeah....I forgot.

I GOT MY MOTHER FUCKING LISENCE!!!! ...at last.

Anyway, currently reading Jarhead, The Old Man And The Sea, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, and The Descent of Woman (still). No writing currently but I am working on it.

Hope all is well. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7517912/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7517912/ Thu, 05 Jan 2006 13:47:52 PST
Mmmm. I'm finally realizing how smart I am not to veen consider dating someone from my school, because it's so small and PEOPLE DON'T MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS and forget that things which don't concern them literally don't concern them. Therefor yelling at someone about it is completely inappropriate. Threats are fun, too. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7502316/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7502316/ Tue, 03 Jan 2006 19:11:16 PST
By the way, if anyone decides to go see The Chronicles of Narnia be prepared to watch the Move That Never Ends. Not even during the credits. It was pretty and wonderful and the special effects actually could have sucked more. But. Oh. My. Good. Lord. It went on forever.

Wrote poems, will post when awake. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7492535/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7492535/ Mon, 02 Jan 2006 19:46:26 PST
News?
What News?
We Don't Need No Stinkin' News. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7477080/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7477080/ Sun, 01 Jan 2006 09:49:39 PST ARGH!!!!
TEENAGE GIRL JOURNAL ALERT!!



Party was fun. I thought it was going to be a party party, where there are lots of people. It turned out to be a make-out party. The kind where everyone is paired up nice and even. Larry and Trish polished off something nasty between the two of them. I tried some and it just sort of dribbled out my mouth. It tasted like vineger. Ew.

We were at James' house and his girlfriend was beyond drunk. She was nice if not a little puke-y.

Everyone thought I was bored because I sat and played with gum wrappers and that white paper they come in and both Trish and I had to assure them that this was normal behavior for me. Anthony beat me at darts but managed to shatter a few of them before he did. Darts. Not his sport.

But he is cool. I like him, quite a bit, and he likes me (or, at least, that's what he said), and he reads, which is just splendiferous. And yeah. It's weird. We have a lot in common. He calls people kid, I call them kiddo. He ate a bouncy ball, I did too, only I didn't swallow the whole thing and he did. We chew on things and other people.

I dunno why I am writing about it. It's just different for me, I guess. A) He is a guy I didn't know beforehand and who I actually got along with, once we started talking. B) He is scarily nice. C) He's just as weird if not a wee bit weirder than me.

Actually that list can go on for a while so I'm just going to stop.

I did not get kissed at midnight because he was busy burning his hand lighting fireworks. Watching that was actually a lot better than getting kissed might have been.

And I plan on writing today, once Trishy goes home and the house is all my own. It's been a weird couple of days and so it'll be nice just to slip back into something as familiar as writing. I am going to get Trish to take pics of the paintings now as well. WEEEEEEE.

It hit me: I got everything I need. the distillers ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7469054/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7469054/ Sat, 31 Dec 2005 16:18:56 PST
Last night was...interesting...

Tonight will be...interesting...

Going to a "party" (I don't know where it is or who will be there) with Trish. The only reason she is allowed to go is because I will be there and her parents actually trust me not to let her do anything stupid. Which is weird because not too long ago they didn't like me one iota. (THAT'S RIGHT I SAID IOTA.) Can't say it'll be fun because I don't know any of the people except for Larry, Trishy's guy-friend, and Anthony, who was my date last night.

About that date. Uhm, it was awkward. Mostly because my two lover-ly friends spent the night scheming and plotting ways for he and I to get to know each other, which wasn't really needed because we talked while they danced. Sort of...by talked I mean screamed short sentences at each other. I got pissed at Ash because she kept trying to talk this kid into kissing me. A) I don't need her to do that, B) WOW THAT IS NOT NORMAL, and C) it pissed him off. So yeah. But he's nice. he reads. His musical taste is less than stellar. And he's nice.

I got a cell-phone for my birthday, yeehah. It's cute. I got 'Back In Black' and 'Hello I Love You' as my ring tones, but I dunno which one I like best. I also got BIRTHDAY CASH and books. With my birthday cash I bought the following cds: Louis XIV, Interpol, The Raveonettes and I almost bought a DK one but it was out of my price range. Upon her return gramma and I are shopping for a camcorder.

HAPPY NEW YEAR. My only resolution is to make it a good one. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7443587/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7443587/ Wed, 28 Dec 2005 21:12:20 PST
I bought a very low cut, very non-sleeved shirt. It's pretty and all, but it's got sequence on it, and it shows my boobies. Which COULD be considered a good thing, but if I lean over too far I'm afraid I might fall out of it. Even so, I'm going to wear it, cause I actually look cute in it, which was both surprising and hilarious.

I found a kick ass pair of shoes to match. They are like the Ruby Slippers in The Wizard of Oz, except turquoise, heeled and strappy. I love them. I would have made love to them but that is apparently frowned upon. (That was a joke, mostly.) Trish is bringing her camera over on Friday so there will be pics of me looking girly that may or may not be posted. I also, apparently, have a maybe-date. I talked to him, sort of. There were several folks on the phone at once and most of them were drunk.

That was a totally teenaged journal entry and I apologize. But my shoes are fucking killer. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7434567/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7434567/ Tue, 27 Dec 2005 19:59:46 PST Fish Heads by Dr. Demento

That song is so great. I want someone to redo it, either trash punk or heavy metal style.

Also, my sister and I rented Tony Hawk's new game for PS2 (kicks ass by the way) and Suicidal Tendencies came on and I litterally tripped and flew through the hall, because socks and carpet don't mix, trying to turn that shit up. Such yummy goodness. Also, my leg fell completely asleep two seconds ago without me realizing it so when I went to actually move I fell down. Not, whoa, I am falling down, kind of fell down. Like, why is my face in the carpet?, kind of fell down. I am a walking bruise. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7434283/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7434283/ Tue, 27 Dec 2005 19:23:03 PST
Okay. I am going to stand on my little soap-box for a second.

I, like most people with functioning brain cells, think plastic surgery is total crap and most people (but not all) who get it are just wasting time and money on something that won't decompose when they die. I find fake boobies annoying and ridiculous.

However, I think most of the world these day assosciates 'plastic surgery' with 'big fake tits'. And for the first time I actually went into Victoria's Secret and looked around at things, as opposed to shielding my face from the horrors of scrap lace thongs. (BTW, anyone who calls that underware is dilusional. Do you know how many stitches it takes to sew a thong? Five.) I was actually truly surprised that there was a limited number of bras in my size. It seemed like most racks stopped at 'C' and left us 'D+' girls hanging.

I am a girl who tries to deny her breasts. Baggy shirts, hoodies, constant blousing in that area. Even so, it would be nice to go into a fancy shmancy and buy something pretty that no one will ever see.

So since I was thwarted at the VS I went to *gulp* a dpt. store and found some really nice ones--but not in my size. In fact the only ones in my size came in black, white and beige. And not pretty black either. Nasty, rough, nun-wearing black. Now I was irked. I skipped over to Wal-Mart. Considering that most of their patrons walk around in sports bras and acidwash, I was surprised at the underwire selection there. But, again, practically nill in my size.

WHAT HAS THE WORLD GOT AGAINST BIG BOOBS!? SOME OF US WERE ACTUALLY, UNFORTUNANTLY, BORN THIS WAY! Dammit.

Seriously. Give D's a chance.

I WROTE! But it was a paragraph on a story that I haven't even posted here yet. But I plan on writing tonight, and probably posting. YAY! ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7416691/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7416691/ Sun, 25 Dec 2005 19:00:12 PST Mental masturbation is my new FAVORITE term of all time.

Also, I have a new FAVORITE ice-skater of all time. His name is Alexei (and then some complicated last name involving a 'Y' and then some gs) and he is Russian and he has hip problems. And yes, I actually watched ice-skating, and yes, I actually picked out a favorite, but to be fair his is compact, Russian and blond. He is my brand new Mikhail Baryshnikov. Actually I am still in love with him even though he is is fifty and odd. Gosh. Ballet dancers. It sounds like a pansy thing to go for. But I can't help it. I mean, Mikhail Baryshnikov!

I'm planning on writing tonight because I am far too amped on sugar and caffiene and there's not much else for me to do. And also, I gots inspiration itching at my fingernails.

I've decided to get a wee little digi-camcorder with still capabilities. It'll be the shit. It might also launch my carreer as the female Johnny Knoxville. Did anyone know he was married? Just about broke my heart when I heard. ANYWAY.

Gawd.

Hope everyone had a nice holiday and if you didn't...well.

]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7406908/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7406908/ Sat, 24 Dec 2005 19:47:11 PST
I love my little frister. She got me an Alkaline Trio t-shirt for Christmas (we opened one gift each; hers was glow in the dark shoe laces...JIPPED!). I might never take this thing off. However I did get her this kick ASS Ramones hoodie that I already predict I shall have to steal. Often. It's just so purdy.

Nana did all the laundry. She rearranged the kitchen. She ran away to the mall while I was asleep. She tried to break into my room but I had the door locked. Everyone is getting a real kick out of coming to my room and making an ass-load of noise even though I've only been asleep for four hours. Today's specialness was added to by my Aunt Debbie calling WHILE EVERYONE STOOD AROUND MY BED CLAMORING LOUDLY and Nana seemed convinced she had to yell loud enough for Debbie to hear her from the panhandle. Special stuff.

Next Friday the plan is to go to a club on teen night and...I guess, club. Trishy brought it up and I figured, hey, why not? I told Ash and she literally laughed in my face. I guess I don't seem the club sort? What's it matter though? That's going to be my b-day celebration so presents will be involved. So even if the music isn't exactly to my taste, and there are too many people, and I run into random things, I will have presents. And also a possible chance to see Ashley booty-dance, and since I've seen that particular show before, I expect much hilariosity.



Merry Christmas Eve, y'all. ]]> ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7406821/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7406821/ Sat, 24 Dec 2005 19:35:59 PST ~vagabondtrv http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7377080/ http://vagabondtrv.deviantart.com/journal/7377080/ Wed, 21 Dec 2005 20:50:06 PST
On a semi-bright side, I was gifted a deck of tarot cards (The Vampire Tarot, as a matter of fact, yay) which was both an honor and a shame. Mom is letting me keep them but she'd prefer it if I started out on a "more neutral" deck. I don't know. The point is, I am allowed to keep them. One weird thing did occur: there was this kid there who was telling me it was a really powerful deck and that he could "see its aura". Also, that it sort of matched my own. Now, whether or not I believe that is one thing. After all, I can't see auras so I found it troubling to think other people can. But if that is true, and the Vampire Tarot is a negative (not in the bad way, in the pictoral way) deck, then my aura is both powerful and negative. Is this good? Is this bad? Does it matter? Probably not. Turns out I also can't feel auras; I can't even sense my own body heat. I'm pretty much null so I am not sure how that's going to affect my readings.

I met Sherry's boyfriend and walked by her son a couple of times. Turns out me and Mike (the boyfriend) have REALLY similar tastes in music. I think he is the only person in my town (besides my mom) to have heard of/listened to Suicidal Tendencies. He's neat. He doesn't commit to a certain religion. He was sort of like me, not closed to it but not a part of it, either. I ate cookies!

W.O.W that was boring.

Didn't write a single sentence today and probably won't tommorow as we set off to Gs-Ville. Friday will be spent telling Nana how to TV works and even though we have cable she will probably insist on watching Bill Gaither and asking me if I think he is on drugs because he has long hair. Then on Christmas Eve I am going to sleep, and then on Christmas I will be dragged out of bed, forced to have good cheer, then allowed to go back to sleep. I'll try to do some actual work but it'll be by hand which is a slow going process for me.

X-Files marathon today. Creeeeeeeeeeeeepy stuff. Battlestar Galactica matathon yesterday, weeeee. Season 2.5 starts January 7th. I. Can. Hardly. Wait. And. I. Just. Might. Pee. My. Damned. Pants. ]]> ~vagabondtrv