http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:visceralNL&section=today deviantART RSS for by:visceralNL en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 19:16:48 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/13873837/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/13873837/ Wed, 25 Jul 2007 12:23:43 PDT
Those 6 months are now up and guess what...

I got a part-time contract. This next year I will be working there part-time, finishing the game. They also offered me a full-time job for when I'm done with school and you can be damn sure I'm gonna take it.

I love the game we're working on and as soon as official announcements are made, I'll say which one it is (for now: non-disclosure agreements). We also agreed that I can add the art I did for the game to my portfolio once it comes out, but that'll be a while.

I'm also working on a proposal for the next game. But again: non-disclosure agreements.

So I am now officially a Game Designer/Artist! Woohoo!

Also, I'll be submitting stuff to deviantart soon, since I'll finally have some (limited amount of) free time

That's all!

Keep on truckin'

Vis

]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/13323929/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/13323929/ Wed, 13 Jun 2007 00:49:45 PDT
So for a month and a half I've been doing my best. Trying to be as charming as I possibly can at 7.30 in the morning ('cause I'd usually run into her at the train station), being nice, giving compliments, the usual.

She's done at school for this year and on summer break. So I wasn't gonna see her anymore, because after the summer I go back to school and wouldn't be coming to the station I'd see her at anymore. So I sent her a text message saying "maybe we should have a date in the summer, because otherwise I won't see you again".

What do I get in response:"I don't think so. I don't like dates"

I. Don't. Like. Dates.

What. The. Fuck.

That is the most retarded rejection I have ever experienced! It sounds like a cheap excuse and a 'gentle' let down to me, but it feels like an insult and a slap in the face. It's fucking bullshit, that's what it is! And if it IS true, maybe she should have mentioned it about a month and a half ago, instead of leading me on like this.

I am so goddamn pissed off. Not because of the rejection, I'm used to that, but because of the childish excuse it's hidden behind. I'm a big boy, I can handle it. I'd rather have a girl be open and honest and tell me she thinks I'm a loser than this shit.

I swear to God, if ANY of you women pull this shit on me again, I am going to punch you in the fucking uterus. Don't think it's possible? Try me and find out! I don't feel like playing these goddamn mind games anymore. Tell me how you feel and not how you think I'd possibly want you to feel if you weren't leading me on, goddammit!!!

So my last four results were:
1. I see you more as a friend
2. I see you more as a friend
3. I see you more as a friend
4. I don't like dates

At least I hadn't heard that one before.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some heavy metal to listen to!

Keep on truckin'

Vis

]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/13272994/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/13272994/ Sat, 09 Jun 2007 02:29:32 PDT
1) Full Name: Joost Peters
2) Male/Female: Male
3) Were you named after anyone?: Yeah. For the Dutch people: I was named after Olie B. Bommel's butler Joost and Joost Prinssen, an actor on Klokhuis.
4) Does your name mean anything?: It comes from the name Joseph and apparently that means "the lord shall increase/add".
5) Nick Name(s): visceral, vis, viskerel, chuck
6) What do you think you look like..name wise?: Say what now?
7) Date Of Birth: June 9th 1983, it's m' birthday today!
8) Place of Birth and Current Location: Born in Oss, the Netherlands. Currently living in Uden, the Netherlands.
9) Nationality: Dutch
10) Astrology Sign: Gemini
11) Chinese Astrology Sign: Uh... *goes to wikipedia* Dog. Figures
12) Religion: I'm against Religion. All of them. But if you *need* to tag me with something, make it atheist
13) Whats your favorite smell?: coffee and fresh baked bread
14) Political Position?: left
15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?: coffee. i need my coffee
16) Hair + Eye color: brown and brown
17) Do you look like anyone famous?: euhm... dunno if Gordon Freeman is considered famous, but I look like Gordon Freeman.
18) What do you look like?: A human being...? I hope...
19) Any unusual talents?: Hmmm... I can make women flee in terror just by talking to them... is that a talent? Or unusual?
20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?: Righty
21) Straight, Bi, Gay or Other?: Straight
22) What do you do for a living?: Work in a factory, but just as a job for the weekend. Not as a career.
23) What do you do for fun?: Play games, watch tv, watch movies, play music, listen to music, draw, hang out with friends
24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?: A wacom tablet and a simple ballpoint pen
25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?: I'd like to be a little better with pencils and paint
26) Have you met your grandparents?: Yes
27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Nope
28) Crush: Sort of, kinda
29) What celebrity would you date if you could?: Krista Allen
30) Current worries?: Oh God, don't get me started: work, internship, school, money, girls and my future career
31) Favorite online Guy/Girl(s): Cataclysm-X
32) Favorite place to be?: At home or at my internship
33) Least favorite place to be?: The station in Rotterdam or Utrecht
34) Do you burn or tan?: The difference between a tan and a burn is 5 minutes with me. If I stay out in the sun 5 minutes too long, I automatically burn. I'm the whitest guy alive.
35) Ever break a bone?: I used to skateboard, so take a wild guess
36) What is your favorite cereal?: Kellogs Special K with chocolate
37) Person you cry with: Crying is for women and puppies! I try to refrain from crying if I can.

Do You Have...
38) Any sisters: One
39) Any brothers: Nope
40) Any pets: We have pets here, but they're not mine and I don't really pay a lot of attention to them
41) An Illness: Aside from a slight case of bat-shit-craziness, ADD and OCD... nah.
42) A Pager: No
43) A Personal phone line: Yes, it's called a CELLPHONE!
44) A Cell phone: Yes
45) A visible birthmark: No
46) A Pool or hot tub: No :s
47) A Car: Yes, a Nissan Sunny Sedan [link] Like that one, only green.

Describe Your...
48) Personality: I go from zero to crazy in about 5 seconds and I don't like being serious unless I really, really have to. I get along with most people and I always try to be a gentleman. I hate being late or not making good on promises.
49) Driving: I try to be a gentleman in traffic, because agressive drivers piss me the fuck off. And I don't want to be one of those assholes.
50) Your clothing style: Mostly black. Always a band shirt of band sweater, jeans and a trucker cap or army cap.
51) Room: Regular room, with a lot of mess which is mostly concentrated around my computer, xbox and amp
52) What’s missing: A big ass hd-tv!
53) School: I do Design For Virtual Theatre And Games. I don't feel like explaining that right now, so if you wanna know,

ask.
54) Bed: High
55) Relationship with your parent(s): Couldn't be better! I love my folks!
56) Do You believe in yourself: In some areas: ye... ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/12953471/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/12953471/ Mon, 14 May 2007 13:15:51 PDT ), a small update!

My internship's going great. I'm working on the "big title" they're putting out now. They asked me to do some minor changes and I kind of sneakily got to do some designs at the same time. They liked those so much that they told me to keep going.

And now I'm making stuff that is actually going to be in the game. It's pretty much 99,9% sure it'll be in the game when it comes out and I can't even tell you how awesome that feels. I'm so proud of myself.

So I did something... shocking.

Me... social disaster, complete loser, giant nerd and generally ugly person decided to talk to a girl... a girl i didn't know... in public. And even though she's clearly out of my league I somehow got her phone number I know, I'm as shocked as the rest of you. Don't know how it'll turn out, but start alerting the media

That's all for now!

Keep on truckin'

Vis

]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/12505507/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/12505507/ Sun, 08 Apr 2007 05:15:00 PDT
My Wii and Xbox 360 are online again! If anybody wants to add me to their friends list on the Wii or Xbox Live, leave a comment or send me a note so we can exchange friendcodes and gamertags!

I have also started writing a web-comic I hope to start when I have some more time. It's about Captain Obvious, who is a superhero with the power to state the obvious and Kid Redundancy Boy, who is mostly... well... redundant Expect a lot of superhero, videogame, movie and tv show jokes and a lot of bad art when I start making it.

I also bought Guitar Hero 2 for the Xbox 360 on friday and I have been shredding all weekend long. I already beat the game on medium (hells yeah) and hope to start Hard soon. But I'm not that good a musician to begin with so that'll be tough

On a sidenote, my old band might be getting back together! I've been wanting to start a new band for a while and the band members from my previous band liked the idea. We just need to settle on a (general) style, a name and if we need extra band members. I'd like to do something like Useless I.D. Check them out, they rock.

That's all!

Keep on truckin'

Vis

P.S. Here is my wishlist for new songs for Guitar Hero 2. Go, Xbox Live! Add suggestions if you want.

10. Killswitch Engage - Rose of Sharyn
Because it's fucking metal
9. Metallica - Master of Puppets or Battery
Because you can't seriously tell me there SHOULDN'T be a Metallica song in Guitar Hero!
8. Useless I.D. - Redemption
Because there needs to be more punk rock in Guitar Hero and Useless I.D. rules.
7. Atreyu - Corseting
Listen to the opening riff and tell me you wouldn't want to play that on Expert!
6. NOFX - Dinosaurs Will Die
It's NOFX. 'Nuff said!
5. Mastodon - Bladecatcher
Listen to it. Fear it. It would be one of the hardest Guitar Hero songs. Ever!
4. Slayer - Flesh Storm
Come on. It's Slayer.
3. Trivium - The Crusade
Fuck Freebird. Fuck Carry Me Home. Fuck Six. Fuck The New Black. All the hard songs pale in comparison to this song. The Crusade is a 13 minute long instrumental metal track with more solos and double bass than a Slayer concert!
2. Over It - Mister Serious
Because Over It is brilliant and does things most rock/punk bands wouldn't dare dream of. Layers upon layers of pure awesomeness and freaky riffs for everyone!
1. He Is Legend - Dixie Wolf (the Seduction of)
Because it's He Is Legend and they are the freakin' KINGS of awesome rock 'n metal riffs!

]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/12259064/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/12259064/ Tue, 20 Mar 2007 14:01:29 PDT
Let's start with the good news. I'm officialy cured. No more RSI. My arm is hurting now but that's because I really pushed myself today to finish a proposal that needed to be done. They asked me to help on it yesterday and it had to be finished today. It was for a mobile game, so lot's of tiny pixel tiles and characters. I'd never done that before but it's kinda fun. Learned something new at least.

Back to week 5. Week 5 was a busy week. It was the week before the Game Developers Conference and Codeglue would be presenting/selling a few titles to publishers. One of which was a demo for a DS game that I did all the character designs and models for. So semi-crunch time. I got a lot faster and better at modeling and texturing once I knew the limitations of the DS. Once I got the hang of that I could work in a nice workflow. Everything got done and the demo went off to the GDC.

And even though it wouldn't be shown on the show floor or to the press or anything... still... On monday in week 6 it hit me that something I made had just been flown across the Atlantic to get shown to publishers. And I'm talking big publishers. I'm not naming any of them but you all know them. That's so cool. If you would have told me that last year, that my stuff would be at the GDC, I would have laughed in your face and called you crazy. Again, it wasn't that big a deal but still very cool. One step closer to my dream

Week 7 was even cooler. My creative juices started flowing and I made some really nice concept art. I'm really proud of that. It's not something I would post on conceptart.org or anything but it's way above my normal standard. And that's good. It means I'm learning. It means I'm improving. And if there's anything I always push myself to, it's improvement. I can't sit still, I have to make new and better art.

Near the end of the week I sneakily worked my way into the Xbox 360 project. They asked me to re-do some character models that weren't working properly. Ofcourse, being the genius that I am (*cough cough*) I fixed it. They told me I could do some new character models if I wanted to. So on the train ride home I enthusiastically started sketching. The next day I came in and cleaned up my sketches and colored them and they liked them very much. Sander (the resident designer) made me change my style a little (genius of him) and now it goes with the project perfectly. So they asked me to do more. So I did. And they liked those too.

So then I heard them talking about maybe swapping the concept art they already have for my concept art. I nearly fell out of my chair. My concept art (and character designs) in an Xbox 360 game. An Xbox Live Arcade game but still... Xbox! (I'm quite the Xbox fanboy, if you haven't noticed) On top of that they also really liked the new name I came up with (Microsoft wanted the name changed) and emailed it to Microsoft and they approved it. It hasn't been decided yet but there's a good chance the name I came up with will be used. By this point I was completely freaked out and walking on air

After the awesome first 4 weeks I had at Codeglue I was waiting for disaster to strike. It didn't. I don't get it. What's happening? Things couldn't possibly be going my way. That's crazy. Misery always keeps me on a tight leash.

Something very bad is about to happen. I can't be doing this good

Hope I don't get hit by a bus next week!

Keep on truckin'

Vis

P.S. I love that mood smiley for Eager (see below). It's going "Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Go. GO! GOOOOOOOOOOOO!". Which is me right now. I can't wait to start work every day

]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11986573/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11986573/ Tue, 27 Feb 2007 11:47:39 PST
Edit: Geez, spell checking sucks. I missed a buttload of errors. Fixed 'em now.

10. Death
"Wow, hold up, Vis (you can call me Vis). Isn't this 10 things that make life worth it? Why do you start off with death."
Well... let me explain. Death is never pleasant. It's sad. When someone close to you dies, it hurts. A life taken or a life lost is the saddest thing you will ever experience.

But, without death, would we have had art like Edgar Allen Poe's poetry or H.P. Lovecraft's horror? Would there be movies like Schindlers List? Would Bayside's latest album have been as good as it is now, if their drummer hadn't died? I don't think so. Death brings out the worst in most of us, but it brings out the best in artists.

Plus, if nobody died, the earth would be so full, people would be piled up against the ozon layer. And that's not a pretty sight.

9. People running to catch trains
They're so funny. Run, silly people, run! You'll never catch it. Oh, did the door close? Yeah, I did that with my mind just so I could see you drop your briefcase and flail your arms in anger.

What's even better is when I'm inside the train and they're running towards the door and it closes at the last moment. I like to wave at them when the train leaves the platform. Bye, sad person, have fun waiting for the next train. Muhaha!

8. 'Fashion'
Oh, how 'fashionable people' crack me up. What goes on in the mind of the man who puts on a bright red pair of pants in the morning? Does he think "Yeah, this is my style. Looking good, man"? Or does he plan to run from a herd of bull later that day? It doesn't matter, because whether he wants to or not, he brightens up my day.

And what's up with dudes wearing pink? Seriously... PINK? What's wrong with you? And then they get all pissed when I point and laugh as they walk by. Sjeesj, you're the one who wore pink, not me!

7. Comedy
Comedians are all basically pissed off guys who couldn't get laid enough. If they could have, they probably wouldn't be so angry. But God bless them and their sharp observations. They say laughter is the best medicine but I wouldn't tell that to someone with a terminal disease. They might smack you in the head. And they should.

6. Celebrity Breakdowns
Or should I say CeleBritney Breakdowns? Britney Spears finally snapped and now she's performing a real-life episode of My Name Is Earl. White trash to the max. Jennifer Lopez cried when her film got booed (a film her husband claimed she'd get an oscar nomination for). Lindsay Lohan goes into rehab, out of rehab, into rehab, out of rehab, into rehab, out of rehab and after 30 days of skipping rehab she celebrates by going out and partying until 4 in the morning.

Rich bitches amuse me endlessly

5. Couches
Don't look at me like that. Couches rock! I mean, come on, name one thing you can't do on a couch! You can sit on it, you can stand on it and you can lay down on it. And according to my twisted logic that means you can do anything on a couch. The possibilities are endless.

(Ok, this one might be a bit out there Blame Cataclysm-X for it)

4. The Office
I'm sorry, but this show is so fucking brilliant, it actually makes my life better. I get up with a smile every friday because I know I will get to see Michael make every situation awkward, I will see Dwight try too hard at everything (and fail), I will see Kevin being... Kevin, I will see Creed being a creep and I will see Jim and Pam in the most awkward relationship ever caught on screen.

If you don't watch the Office... you should. Seriously. And if Roy does kill Jim next week, you can come cry on my shoulder.

3. Rock 'n Roll
Sometimes you have one of those days where everything seems to go wrong. And you need to let off some steam. You could kick a random person in the groin, sure, but that might land you in a jail cell. You could play a violent video game but those are just pixels and polygons controlled by codes and scripts. You could eat until you puke but that's just silly.

What you should do is buy a guitar and play some rock 'n roll. And if you don't want to buy a guitar and learn to play you should at least run around your house and sing along as loud as you can.

2. Everything that's not on this list
"Wow, Vis, that's kinda cheap. You're trying to get off kinda easy here."
Maybe, but there's one thing us humans like... ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11974633/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11974633/ Mon, 26 Feb 2007 13:11:54 PST
So week 2 started off ok. I was working on my project and having lots of ideas. I started making the sketches and concept art I did in the first week into 3d models. And then my arm started to hurt. Nothing serious I thought. I'll just take it a little easier and try not to use a computer when I get home.

But then from wednesday afternoon to thursday morning my arms started to hurt, bad. On thursday morning I woke up and wanted to check my e-mails and I could barely hold my mouse. So a lot of alarm bells went off in my head. I went to the doctor on friday and guess what: RSI (or Carpal Tunnel Syndrome). Damn.

My doctor told me to go see a physical therapist so I made an appointment for the monday after. I was shitting bricks all weekend. It's pretty scary hearing a doctor say that you have RSI, especially if your entire professional career will involve you sitting behind a computer. It could have been the end of my career. Well, as far as I have a career.

So I went to the physical therapist on monday and he wasn't surprised that I'd gotten RSI. He thought the main reasons were my extended use of computers (almost non-stop from 9.00 to 17.00 every week day), my extreme travel schedule (about 5 hours every week day) and lack of sleep/rest at night (from 23.00 to 5.30). But, he said, it could be treated. So he recommended an application to me (Workpace). It monitors my computer use and forces me to take breaks. It also shows you excercises to do.

Week 03

So week 3 was all about getting used to working with Workpace monitoring my computer use. It's kind of annoying when you're modeling and you wanna adjust a vertex and BAM! Workpace locks my computer down because I have to take a break.

But I got used to it and I can work with it fine now. I don't even have to look at the program anymore, I kind of "know" when a break is coming up. So I walk around, set the table for lunch, go shopping for lunch. That kind of stuff. Just to keep me busy.

I worked on my 3d models some more this week. Ran into a lot of walls on that. I'm kind of out of practice when it comes to 3d. I've been focussing on 2d for the past 2 or 3 years. I used to do a lot of 3d and I know my way around 3ds Max pretty well. But rigging didn't go very well. I'd never really used those techniques this seriously before. I know how it works but it can still go wrong in a lot of places. I also forgot some things I shouldn't have forgotten which I had to correct later on. And ofcourse that meant I had to do everything over again.

But I learned. And that's the most important thing. I'm getting better again.

Week 04

Week 4 was pretty awesome. I finished a lot of my models and the programmer who is working on the project was going to put them in the Nintendo DS engine. I forgot some things that I really should have thought of, like scaling all the models to a uniform scale, lighting, texture size, texture color depth.

One thing I learned was that the Nintendo DS, while it's an awesome platform, has a lot of technical limitations you have to work around. And I've never really had to do that before so that was educational. But now that I've gotten those things in my workflow I should be fine.

I also saw my work/designs on an actual Nintendo DS, moving and being controlled with a stylus. That's so awesome We don't have much but it's just cool to see.

During the week my arms started feeling better and better and I could work faster and harder again. Workpace is really helping me recover from RSI and I'm doing fine. I still have pain while I'm working but it's not as heavy as it was a couple of weeks ago. But at least when I walk out the door at 17.00 the pain goes away almost immediately. So I'm doing fine.

Then on thursday I started doing some more concept art and I made some really cool, twisted things. I surprised myself even. I don't think I can post it here since we're still in the concept stage but I'll post it when it gets rejected (it will)

And on thursday the guys at Codeglue got a very important e-mail! We are now 100% certified official Microsoft Xbox Live Arcade Developer! Hells yeah! We had some champagne and I'm verry happy for the guys at Codeglue. Great things are going to be happening for them because their game rocks and I think it could be a big hit on Xbox Live.

So week 4 was really, really good. Too good. I never have weeks this good.

So now I'm waiting for disaster to strike as I go into week 05. Something's gotta go wrong. Bring it on!

]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11825055/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11825055/ Thu, 15 Feb 2007 04:46:03 PST
Last week from wednesday afternoon to thursday morning my arms started to hurt. On thursday morning I woke up and wanted to check my e-mails and I could barely hold my mouse. So a lot of alarm bells went off in my head. I went to the doctor on friday and guess what: RSI (or Carpal Tunnel Syndrome). Damn.

My doctor told me to go see a physical therapist so I made an appointment for the monday after. I was shitting bricks all weekend. It's pretty scary hearing a doctor say that you have RSI, especially if your entire professional career will involve you sitting behind a computer. It could have been the end of my career. Well, as far as I have a career.

So I went to the physical therapist on monday and he wasn't surprised that I'd gotten RSI. He thought the main reasons were my extended use of computers (almost non-stop from 9.00 to 17.00 every week day), my extreme travel schedule (about 5 hours every week day) and lack of sleep/rest at night (from 23.00 to 5.30). But, he said, it could be treated. So he recommended an application to me (Workpace). It monitors my computer use and forces me to take breaks. It also shows you excercises to do.

I've been working with that since monday and it's working really well. My arms still kind of hurt, but it's more of an annoyance than an actual pain now. I'll be seeing my physical therapist every week for treatment so I should be fine. It'll just take a lot of discipline and commitment to keep working like this. Thankfully the nice folks at Codeglue are very supportive and allow me to work like this.

Nevertheless I will be taking it a little slower from now on. My updates (10 Things and the Internship blog) will be bi-weekly, starting next week.

Now, back to work.

Keep on truckin'

Vis

]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11696862/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11696862/ Mon, 05 Feb 2007 12:29:53 PST
10. Weather

Every morning, millions of meaningless conversations are started around the watercooler, coffeemachine or other local watering hole about this topic. And 90% of the time it's not a very positive start. "How about this rain, huh?" "Geez, it's really pouring out there."

We've got this whole global warning thing going now, I say we bite down and get rid of this fucking rain and snow. Let's get our sunscreen and tanning oil and go out in a blaze of glory.

9. Packaging

I have had numerous fights with the packaging of my salami and cheese. You try to do it right and it fucking tears all the way open. Great, just great.

And orange juice... you open a new carton and carefully pour... GLOB! That first part always leaps over your glass and makes a juicy mess all over the goddamn kitchen counter.

And have you ever bought anything for your computer like a USB stick or an SD card. The plastic packaging for that stuff is so goddamn strong. You need a goddamn chainsaw to open it.

8. Marketing

Every marketing department should be renamed to "Deparment of Outrageous Lies". There really aren't a whole lot of companies marketing their products without lying about them or at least 'failing to mention' inconvenient flaws.

Let's use the biggest liars of the last year and a half as an example: Sony. When the PS3 was announced, Sony said "the next generation of gaming doesn't start until we say so". Really, Sony, is that so? Well then I owe you an apology because I seem to have taking a false start. You see, I have bought this machine called "Xbox 360" and it seems to support next generation gaming as well.

I'm terribly sorry, but I swear at the time I didn't know you were going to give the go-ahead. And besides, I live in Europe. Your "worldwide launch" didn't incorporate that particular part of the world, now did it? I can hear you screaming on the other end of this landmass but I can't seem to join in on the fun.

And you know what the funniest part is? Sony has been screaming its head off about next-gen gaming and HD support since the PS3 was announced and what is the one thing you DON'T get when you buy a PS3? An HDMI cable. And without an HDMI cable, can you play high definition games on your high definition tv? No, you can't, Sony, you can't. I rest my case.

7. Mornings

Ugh... I hate mornings. Stumbling through the dark in that half-awake-half-drunk state, crashing into walls and closets trying to find the lightswitch.

Why do we bother. Let's just agree we'll put the world on pause until about... 10 AM. Anyone getting up before then has to listen to Paris Hilton's album for three weeks straight!

6. Reality TV

Seriously, can we drop this shit. It's not funny anymore. You've had your fun. We've seen hundreds of people stuffed into houses with cameras in every inch and I think we've had enough. And please, please, please send the contestants for shows like Temptation Island to me before they go on the show. Because I can tell them exactly what will happen:

You "think" you have a "strong relationship" and have decided to test it. You "agree" that kissing is OK but everything beyond kissing is "not OK". You both go to your separate male and female camps where scandalous sluts and studs will try to seduce you. And you will fail. Within a week you will have fucked someone who is not your girl/boy-friend. Because your relationship wasn't strong. Your partner will cry and you will try to apologize but you don't mean it. You fucked a hottie and you loved it. You suck man. Seriously, you're a bastard. And even IF your relationship was strong, going to an island where you'll be seduced by beautiful people is NOT A GOOD TEST OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP! Dickheads.

5. Politicians

These people are supposed to be running the country for us. They were elected by us, so basically they should be doing what's best for us and our country. Then how come every time a politician makes a decision, I feel like I'm being screwed? It feels like they're trying to get back at us for putting them in the government.

And when 'the people' try to ask for an explanation, usually through the media, what do politicians do? Avoid the goddamn question! I swear these people keep talking in circles. There are a few politicians here in Holland (our prime-minister especially) who can talk for five straight minutes and still not say anything.

It. Drives. Me. NUTS!

4. Time

We don't control time. Thank God. But do we have to be so friggin' aggressive with it. Everything always needs to go... ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11659073/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11659073/ Fri, 02 Feb 2007 12:21:06 PST
I'm working as an intern at Codeglue [link] now. I started January 29th and I will be done June 29th. Codeglue is a small company in Rotterdam that makes mobile games for cellphones and other portable media (such as the Nintendo DS). Right now they have an awesome project in the works (I don't think I should talk about it too much, I think it's still kind of hush-hush) that I hope to work on and a few concepts they are trying to get approved. Right now there are 4 people working there and 1 intern, me. They occupy an office in a beautiful part of Rotterdam and it is filled with old-school goodness (an Atari 2600, a Coleco-Vision etcetera) and some desks with computers that we work on.

I started on Monday and they were slightly unprepared for my arrival. Not that I can blame them because we agreed that I would start on Monday only the Thursday before. So they had little time to prepare. There was no login code and the guy who was supposed to get me started was late. But it was nice to have a little time to get my bearings before I was thrown in the deep end. And thrown in the deep end I was! They asked me to work on a concept they were trying to get approved for a Nintendo DS game. They explained it to me and there was a lot of concept still left to be filled in. And that was it. They basically told me to try and make some concept art and maybe some stuff for a small tech-demo.

Needless to say I was totally surprised. I would have been happy being a "slave", finishing work and doing... well... the 'crappy jobs'. And now I'm being creative and doing concept art. I love it.

So I started drawing. And scribbling. And doodling. And then working it out into concept art in Photoshop and some of it already in 3d. They seem to be happy with the results so I keep going. I don't expect to be doing this for five whole months but it was a great start.

During the week I started to blend in better and better and I'm really getting along well with everyone. The guys that work there are really nice and the working atmosphere rules. They don't listen to "normal radio", they listen to rock 'n roll radio stations (friggin' awesome!). On Wednesday they even played Billy Talent out of the blue. I didn't even ask for that but it was awesome. I love that band!

At the end of the week there was good news about the hush-hush project I mentioned earlier. I don't think I should talk about it because I don't wanna spoil it. But let's just say it's coming and it will kick ass! I loved the demo when I came in for my first interview and I think it could be a huge hit when it comes out. I really believe in this game and I hope to work on it.

That's all for this week!

Time for the weekend!

Keep on truckin',

Visceral

]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11610854/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11610854/ Mon, 29 Jan 2007 12:04:50 PST A simple 10 Things this week. Just kind of an update about me, because I've been really busy last week.

10. Things
I will be posting '10 things' on Mondays from now on, because I will be posting my new 'blog subject' on Fridays and this way I can write '10 things' over the weekend.

9. BlueAngel1122
Apparently that crazy Canadian chick BlueAngel1122 sprays juice from her nose when she reads something funny! Friggin' awesome! So from now on it will be my goal to make fountains of juice emerge from BlueAngel1122's nose every single week! Or at least make her soil herself.

8. Mad Drawing Skillz
Since I will be spending 2 1/2 hours in a train every weekday from now on, I will be drawing a lot and hopefully get a lot better. Expect photo-realistic tentacle rape hentai in about 5 months!

7. Full Sketchbook
I bought a new sketchbook two weeks ago and I intend to fill it within 5 months. If I draw anything good I will scan it and post it on DeviantArt. Expect photo-unrealistic tentacle rape hentai in ab... ah, forget it.

6. Reviews
I'm trying to get a position as a reviewer for a games website and even if that doesn't work out I will probably just start posting some game, music and movie reviews on my website.

5. Automaton
I had a great idea (at least I think) for a web-comic. The working title is 'Automaton' but it will probably be something silly once I start. I am going to start drawing and writing and when I have enough material I might put it on my website. Or maybe I'll realize I don't have time for that shit and drop it

4. Get Up Early
5 fuckin' 30 in the fuckin' morning! 5.30! I didn't even know the world existed at 5.30 in the morning. I thought everything faded to black until about 7.00

3. Travel
Like I said, I will be spending 2 1/2 hours in a train every day. In total I will be traveling
about 5 hours a day and it will be pretty hard on me.

'But Vis, why would you travel 5 hours a day?'
(Sigh)
'Why don't you drop the stupid questions and keep reading. Everything will be explained, young grasshopper.'

2. Intern
YES! I will be an intern at a game-design company for the next 5 months! I actually started today and I think I'll have a great time over there! The company is named CodeGlue [link] and they develop games for mobile phones, the Nokia N-Gage, Nintendo DS and Xbox Live Arcade!

If you want to know about my adventures as a game-design intern, check for my blog on my website on Fridays!

1. Busy
I will be working and traveling more hours than you can shake a stick at so exsqueeze me if I collapse and die during the process!

No seriously, CodeGlue owns my ass these next 5 months but I'm really excited to be doing this. I'm going to be designing games, be creative and in the end that's exactly what I want to do!

Wish me luck! My great adventure begins erm... about 11 hours ago.

Keep on truckin'

Visceral

]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11489653/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11489653/ Fri, 19 Jan 2007 03:30:00 PST [link] and Hazel88 [link] demanded it). It will be very confronting for all of us (but we'll all deny it anyway). Here we go:

10. "I am so manly right now" or any sentence containing the word 'manly'
Wow, I can't believe you said that. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to say this it's because you are trying to impress a woman. And it is very, very likely she won't be as impressed as you hope. I dare you, say this to a woman and watch those eyes roll back into her head.

9. "No baby, it looks great"
Oh, the lies we tell. No matter how horrible your new haircut is, no matter how fluorescent pink your new outfit is, no matter how cheap that make-up makes you look... we'll lie about it. We don't want to get in a big fight about it, so we try not to care.

8. "It's not just any match, it's THE match of the year."
Women don't understand sports, so don't try explaining that Barcelona vs. Real Madrid or England vs. Germany is the football match of the year. For one thing, you might make them more angry about the fact you're behaving like a caveman with your friends and are in an alcohol-induced frenzy against an electronic device that doesn't understand what you're screaming/mumbling about. Women have never understood we are trying to relay a message to the referee through our television sets and they never will.

7. "Nothing" after being asked "What's wrong?"
With men there is about a 50% chance there actually IS nothing wrong. The other 50% will be forgotten within a day or two or unleashed in a drunken frenzy/violent videogame/contact sport/the bedroom/a rant to our friends.

6. "But I have needs too" or other pitiful begging for sex
Men always want to fuck and women (in my experience) not nearly half as much. Most women need mood (or at least a reason), men need only one reason: they have a penis. But begging usually doesn't work, guys. If you don't stop that shit you'll be sleeping on the couch.

5. "No baby, she's my ex but you don't have to worry."
Ladies, now would be a good time to worry.

4. "Funny you should ask that..."
This means "Oh crap, why the hell did she ask me that?!" and is usually followed by an outrageous lie.

3. "...just some of the guys."
When we say that we're just going to see "some of the guys", it almost always means there will be massive amounts of beer and women. And if the women aren't physically present, there is bound to be a 'Girls Gone Wild' video in the mix.

2. "No baby, I don't watch porn. I've got you, right?"
WRONG! That, my dear friends, is always a lie. All guys have porn hidden somewhere. It might be in a box on the attic, under their matress or in a geniusly named folder on their computer. But we have it. We need it. Even if we have the most beautiful girl in the world, we need some kind of fantasy we can't have. We always need that and what's more unobtainable than a porn star.

And ladies, if you're thinking "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any porn. No way.", those are the guys that have the most (and the filthiest).

1. "That's what you're gonna wear?"
Gentlemen, if your lady has been running around her room in a frenzy and was locked in the bathroom for an hour, this is the absolute last thing they want to hear. It is a death sentence and to be honest... you deserve it. Just a heads-up: if she doesn't kill you right away by ramming your nose into your small and feeble brain, that doesn't mean you got away with it. You have just activated a time bomb and your punishment and subsequent death will be slow and very, very painful.

So there you have it. Men suck just as much as women and I don't know why we keep trying to 'understand' each other. It's useless.

As always, comments and additions to the list are appreciated! We're all civil, we can talk about it.

]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11407884/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11407884/ Fri, 12 Jan 2007 09:08:46 PST
10. "Nothing" after being asked "What's wrong?"
It's never "nothing". It's always something. She just doesn't wanna tell you. She wants to sit there and mope and bottle it up until she decides to explode in your face about it at a random, unrelated point in time. Be prepared, be alert and sleep with one eye open if you hear this.

9. "I'm fine." after being asked "How are you?"
Usually that's true. But sometimes women say this with a certain look in their eyes that leads to point 10. Exploding in your face about something you already forgot about.

8. "You're cute."
In my case that usually means:"Well, you're no Brad Pitt, but you'll have to do."

7. "I'll be ready in 5 minutes."
No you won't. She's gonna be at least 30 minutes and everytime you ask they promise "5 more minutes" that turn into 30 more minutes. And you better not dare comment on her clothes or make-up when she's ready.

6. "I'm just having a shitty day."
Time of the month. If you don't run, she'll bite your head off.

5. "Sure, go out with your friends."
She says 'sure', but you better be damn quiet when you come home and hope she's not waiting behind the door with a bat!

4. "(I think) we need to talk."
Gentlemen, this is not a good sign. Because 9 out of 10 times this ends bad for us. It's never "We need to talk. I think you're so awesome, I bought you this medal". It's always "We need to talk. I think we need some time apart".

3. "Does this make me look fat?"
Never ever answer 'yes' to this (obviously), even if it's true. And don't answer 'no' to fast because they'll think you're lying. Take a second or two to (fake) think and answer your sincerest 'No". But ladies, stop asking. Don't put us in that position because we won't answer 'yes' anyway. We value our lives.

2. "I think of you more like a brother/friend."
Ugh, that one's been thrown in my face so much I should just punch the next woman who says this to me. Seriously, even if it's true: I don't want to hear that.

1. "It's not you, it's me."
Listen, babe, if it's not you than how come I hear this from every woman who breaks up with me. I've done the math and it just doesn't add up. It's me. Don't lie. Don't treat me like I might break down and cry. I can take it. (I heard this one today. It was a stab in the heart.)

P.S. I do admit I'm a pain in the ass most of the times, so I usually deserve getting my head chewed off. Women who know me will confirm this without hesitation.

]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11323005/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11323005/ Fri, 05 Jan 2007 10:08:44 PST [link]

Oh and feel free to add other things in the replies! Just nothing too offensive, you know. Nothing racist or inappropriate and things like that.

10. Paris Hilton
I don't wanna hear another thing about that... monstrosity of a human being ever again. She doesn't deserve the attention she gets and it's role models like her that fuck up our kids. Also see #1.

9. Singing actresses and acting singers
Have we learned nothing from Lindsay Lohan's albums, Britney Spear's movie, Maria Carey's movie and everything Hillary Duff does?

8. "Scientific facts" in tv-ads
Your hair styling thingy does not have "ionic technology" in it, your shampoo does not actually contain any lotus flowers and there aren't any monks picking only the small tea leaves for the tea. And "because there just isn't any more room" is not a valid reason why there is only 1% fat in your yoghurt!

7. Fashion
Listen up, if you wanna pay €200 or more for a pair of jeans that look like they've been worn by a bum for years, why don't you just give that money to me. You can have all my pants for €200 a pair. And everyone needs to stop stealing the "punk" fashion. Leave it to the punks, ok? Wearing an anarchy shirt isn't cool if you don't listen to or have at some time listened to (at least) Pennywise, Bad Religion, NOFX, the Sex Pistols or the Exploited.

6. Hooligans
I can understand you love your favorite soccer team so much you can't stand any other teams but come on... What do you really accomplish by destroying a stadium, a city or someone's face? Nothing really. And your team gets punished for it, because you're being a dick.

5. Picking on the smokers
I'll try to keep this one short and non-agressive because this is starting to get to me. Smoking is bad. I know. It's filthy. I know. Please just let me kill myself slowly and mind your own business. You know what else is filthy? Fat people in leggings and/or tight clothing. You know what else is bad for you? Picking on the smokers! We may be short of breath but one day we will revolt and you will be sorry you messed with us!

(Just please don't run away when we will revolt, 'cause we can't keep up. Running's not really a smokers favorite activity. We'll probably just start shooting from a distance.)

4. Reality TV
Can we please stop caring about 8 or 10 people we don't know doing stuff we don't really want to see them do and crying about it. Please. I can't take it anymore.

3. Remakes
Ok, so we've had the whole retro period where you needed to bring disco back. Fine, you got it out of your system. Now we're getting the remake period where someone in Hollywood finds it necessary to remake every piece of crap movie from the 70's, 80's and 90's. QUIT IT! It was crap then and it's even worse now. Don't do it. Let's focus on original projects or movies that really, really NEED to be made (like Transformers and a GI Joe movie).

Oh, and this also goes for Hollywood remakes of Japanese horror movies. We get it, Japanese horror movies rule. Now STOP IT!

2. Beating up paramedics
I don't know if this happens in the rest of the world, but in Holland it's become pretty normal reading about a group of drunken dickheads beating up paramedics because they won't take someone to the hospital. And I could maybe, possibly kind of understand that if there was a serious injury involved, but I think a paramedic would know when someone needs to go to the hospital. So if they say your friend doesn't need to go to the hospital, let's just believe them (they're trained for this job and you... well... you're a drunk idiot) and NOT beat the living crap out of them. And the people that do... should be thrown in jail for life. No trial, just give 'em some lube and throw 'em in jail.

1. Let's stop rewarding the useless morons for their ridiculous behavior
Seriously, how can anybody care about people like Paris Hilton, Brandon Davis or Nicole Ritchie. Everytime we look the other way, they do something stupid/ridiculous. All they want is attention because they have no talent. They're rich because their parents are rich. They've never worked a day in their life and they never will. And as long as we keep photographing them while they party day and night, they're gonna keep up this "Look at me, I'm rich, famous and stupid and damn proud of it"-act. Let's just all ignor... ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11321074/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/11321074/ Fri, 05 Jan 2007 05:58:14 PST
after a very, very long time I've finally finished my portfolio website. this is because I have to start my internship this year and I needed to be able to present myself. and I think that's worked. I've been to two awesome companies in Rotterdam for an interview and I've already been accepted as an intern by one, I'm just waiting for the other company to e-mail me their decision. I think/hope I'll be accepted there as well and then I'll have to choose. both companies are working for the xbox 360 (one on an xbox live arcade title, the other on a full xbox 360 game) and being the xbox fan-boy I am, I'm very excited to work for either one of those two companies.

so hopefully, it'll be a good year and I can start my "internship" blog on my website soon. stop by at my website and tell me what you think (if I can get the damn button to work, deviantart is messing with me :@ )

anyway, the link is: [link]

keep on truckin'

visceral

]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/6916587/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/6916587/ Mon, 31 Oct 2005 13:41:57 PST
well, another period ended at school. i got through it and passed everything. which is kind of amazing to me. we made an adventure game (that might be available on the internet at some point) from scratch. and i programmed the thing all by myself. and for someone who can't program worth a shit, that's pretty impressive. i learned a lot. and had a lot of fun with my project group. those guys rock.

and in other news, i had a reunion with my elementary school class. well, sort of. only six people from my class showed up. but thankfully, those were all people that made my childhood a better place (unlike some people, who made my childhood a far worse place than it should have been). it was good seeing them again. made me think how much i've missed. those people were my friends and i hadn't seen them in about 10 years. not that they changed that much in 10 years. only now it's legal for us to drink and we have facial hair

and we're started another period at school today. don't know my group yet. i do know our "theme" will be shakespeare's king lear. and to be honest, i don't like shakespeare all that much. don't understand why other people do. i just don't get it. but that's ok. i'll make it work.

and... i am still single. surprise, surprise.

keep truckin'

viscera; ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/6094428/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/6094428/ Sun, 31 Jul 2005 21:48:46 PDT
my god, this has been the worst summer ever i´ve been working my ass of (at my TWO jobs) and i don´t know how much longer my body will stand for this. i´m exhausted, every part of my body hurts (which is kind of good, at least i know it´s still there and working). i don´t really have time for anything, i spend all my time working (my TWO jobs) and when i´m done working i can usually be found passed out on the couch or in bed. no movies, no anime, no videogames, just rest.

but... only two more weeks to go and then i can finally have some rest. two more weeks of work, then two more weeks of rest and then school starts again. and by god, if this year is even half as hard as the last one, i am going to KILL somebody

on the upside... when the summer´s over, i´m gonna have a buttload of money to buy myself a new amp to blow the fucking nails out of the walls and maybe get myself a shining new xbox 360 that alone is a big reward for pushing my already worn-out body to the edge.

and... i have played the demo for Burnout Revenge on the xbox... and i must say: HOLY FUCKING CHRIST that game ROCKS! i must have it! i can´t wait any longer. Criterion, finish that awesome masterpiece and get it out in september, i BEG you no better way to let go of your frustration than going 180 miles per hour into oncoming traffic, dodging big rig trucks, scratching paint with your opponents´s car and smashing them into a van, creating a fireball from which you can just escape by swerving into the oncoming lane with your nitro boost. and all of this accompanied with the awesome tunes of Atreyu´s Right side of the bed.

and that´s just Burnout 3 burnout revenge is gonna be SO MUCH BETTER!

keep on truckin´

visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/5741635/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/5741635/ Fri, 24 Jun 2005 06:16:41 PDT
And love is not worth it. It always ends. Sometimes it fades, sometimes it explodes. My feelings of love have been fading for years and just recently they have disappeared beyond the horizon. And I feel like they will never return. They can't. Not after what I've been through. Not after what I have seen and heard.

This is my resignation from everything that has even the vaguest connection to love. I'm through. I've had it. My last few tries have failed miserably. Which brings me to a word I've come to know more than I would like: miserably. The feeling that replaced love in my life. I am covered in misery. It swallowed me and will never again spit me out. I am misery. I am trouble. Stay away.

Many times I have heard women complain that men are scumbags. Pigs that cannot be trusted. Soulless liars. On more than one occassion I have proved them wrong because such a statement must be wrong. Nothing is absolute. There is always the exception to the rule. Always. And I am here to tell you that women are just as bad as men. They lie, betray, hide their feelings, try to get rid of you by maniupulating you and they will especially be real quick to change their mind about something they were so sure about weeks ago when they talked to you. I'm through. I've had it. This is my resignation.

And this is not a joke. This is not a poem. This is not a lyric. This is anger, bottled up for years, venting out. This is hope, disappearing into thin air. This is confidence, and the last drop of it just went down the drain. I am not kidding. I am not joking around. I am through joking around. From now on I am angry, I am bitter, I am offensive and I am me. The real me. And if you don't like it: fuck off.

I have nothing, so I lose nothing.

Sincerely,

.visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/5283350/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/5283350/ Fri, 06 May 2005 09:59:49 PDT Mood: Lonely
Listening to: Pantera - Strenght beyond strength
Reading: David Kushner - Masters of Doom

Woohoo! Somehow my tilde has turned into a star. Uhm... that sounds kinda... wrong What I mean is that my user status on DeviantArt has been upped, giving me some new features and things to play around with. I love it I don't know why this happened, maybe it has something to do with pageviews or maybe with a message I quickly dismissed without reading it. I doesn't matter anyway.

Anyway, I also noticed I have more than 2,000 pageviews now! Thanks to everyone who came to my humble little page and added me to their friends list and my deviations to their favorites.

I'm kinda busy now, so no real updates, just trash talk I'm working on a new piece to celebrate my favorite season: summer. But I can't get it right, so it might take some more time before I upload it. Also, I'm working on my own 3d animation for a school project. It's called Lotus and it's about loneliness and mass-media. Maybe I'll post some updates on that soon.

And, last but not least, I've been gaming a lot lately. I've been playing these games lately:
-Splinter Cell 3: Chaos Theory (XBOX)
-Forza Motorsports (XBOX)
-Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (XBOX)
-Psychonauts (XBOX)
and, already one of my all-time favorites:
-Jade Empire (XBOX)

that's it for now!

Keep on truckin'!

.visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/5135855/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/5135855/ Wed, 20 Apr 2005 04:22:15 PDT
where did my time go? in fact, where did I go? it feels like i'm not even here anymore. i feel like a machine, crunching out things on autopilot.

don't get me wrong, i like my school. i like the assignments, but i'm so damn busy! i don't have time to make things for DA. so i'm kinda on pause right now. just doing my school project.

about a month ago, i had the feeling that the most beautiful girl i ever met actually liked me and maybe luck would be on my side for once. but, surprise, surprise... it wasn't so... still single, still lonely, still frustrated, still angry, still cynical, still the same crazy fucked-up son of a bitch i was before

time for a smoke

keep on truckin'

visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/4369914/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/4369914/ Thu, 20 Jan 2005 15:12:34 PST
wow, i finally have some rest in my life right now. that has it's good sides (no homework) and it's bad sides (still no girlfriend) but i like it

i've been browsing the internet for some more inspiration. i found some nice pictures for some vector pieces. unfortunately i have a one track mind and they're all going to be uhm... well... hot chicks but i don't think anyone will object to that. if you do: bite me!

my website is getting along nicely. actually all i have to do is add the content for my gallery, write some tutorials (at least one or two more) and that's it.

also, someone from my class has joined deviantart this week. she's really talented and i've been working on my previous school project with her. let's all go give her a nice dA welcome, shall we. she deserves it. check out her gallery at Gally-angel [link]

that's all for now. time to kick back with some good music, a cigarette and then time for bed.

keep on truckin'

visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/4170556/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/4170556/ Mon, 27 Dec 2004 15:25:52 PST
oh yeah, everything is half-life 2 with me these days! i am emerged in the magical world of half-life 2. since it's vacation i have time to finish the game and i probably should, before school starts again because that would mean i'll have to wait another 8 weeks before i finish it.

anyway, half-life 2 rocks. if you don't but it or play it you are missing something great. i have had several heart attacks and i don't really care if i never see another toxic head crab again!!!

so... it's december 28th. which means i survived christmas again. my family didn't drive me into complete and utter insanity. thank god. i didn't wish anyone a great christmas and if you read my previous journal you might understand why: CHRISTMAS SUCKS BALLS! big, hairy, sweaty balls to be exact.

but i do wish everyone a happy new year!

see ya,

keep on truckin'!

visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/4096315/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/4096315/ Sat, 18 Dec 2004 15:14:50 PST
last week a depression hit me like a brick. it smashed everything inside my head to little pieces. i'm still picking them up and i try to glue them together but that'll never work.

my car died. which means i have to travel an hour extra to school. which means i have even less time for anything other than school.

the constant flow of ideas i normally have, just stopped. one minute it was there, the next it wasn't. which means i spend most of my time staring at a blank canvas in photoshop or a blank page in my sketchbook.

i still have no time. and i have so much to do. but i can't fit it all in without depraving my body of precious hours of sleep, food and nicotine. i feel like i'm letting everyone around me down.

i have no money. because i am so busy with school and other projects, i can't work that much, hence i have no money. which means i have to skip concerts i really like to see, i can't buy dvd's i really want to have and i haven't bought a cd in over a year!

i still have no girlfriend. because i have no time and no self confidence. i'm starting to think there isn't a girl in the world who finds me potentially interesting.

so i'm down. all my thought are dark and distorted. i have urges to slap people who get in my way and the music i listen to keeps getting heavier and heavier.

come monday my car problem will be fixed, because i'll have a new car. a great car. nothing fancy but i love it already, and i've only driven it for a five minute test drive. but that still leaves a lot of other bullshit to deal with.

i guess i'll just bottle it up and keep on going until i collapse ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/4019806/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/4019806/ Wed, 08 Dec 2004 14:43:39 PST
whooooooooooo! been really busy with school these past few weeks. no sleep, no free time, no weekends even but it's worth it. our project this time is making a 2d animation and it's gonna be bitchin'! i'm working with two really good pencillers and together with the other member of my group i'm doing the colors and the animation and i think it'll be a really cool (but basic) animation. when it's done, i will post it (or a sample because it will probably be too big).

so no real work of my own, just school assignments. my website has been pushed back... again. i just don't have the time to build it and fill it with a shitload of content. but i will finished it in the first few months of next year.

so now we're heading into the most horrible period of the year: christmas. i fuckin' hate christmas. everybody cares about peace and equality all of a sudden. really weird. and what do they do: spend billions of dollar stuffing their hypocritical faces with food and giving each other gifts. and 5 days later we fire up another billion or three in fireworks! am i really the only one that finds that extremely retarded, shortsighted and egotistical?

what if we take half of the money we spend on christmas and new year and give it to all the poor and hungry people who really, really need it? just half. i mean come on people, just give eacht other a smaller gift or have a simple dinner on christmas eve. there are people who need it a lot more than you do and you just blow all that money away like it's fucking nothing.

if, by any freak chance, anyone agrees and likes this idea, let's see if we can set this up for next year. maybe not the whole world but just a few people might make a little difference.

here's a new slogan for the world. it's cheesy and stupid but for some reason it needs to be said (i'm not pointing any fingers at bush): let's think BEFORE we act!

that's all for now. i need a smoke and some sleep!

keep on truckin'!

visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/3794362/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/3794362/ Tue, 09 Nov 2004 14:44:20 PST
i'm sorry! i don't know what happened! i started because i was bored and i didn't mean to go that far

i still can't believe it myself. i got bored (which is nearly impossible if you do the study i do) and decided to start working on the design for my website. i started dreamweaver and photoshop and now, two hours later, it's almost done

so expect an url here soon, with the adress of my first personal website in three years! THREE YEARS, GODDAMMIT!

i rule

keep on truckin'!

.visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/3421556/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/3421556/ Wed, 22 Sep 2004 13:14:35 PDT

cool. thanks to everybody who has ever visited my page and checked out my work. every view and every comment is appreciated.

and i'm not done yet! there's gonna be a lot more coming! ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/3403560/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/3403560/ Mon, 20 Sep 2004 11:34:14 PDT
the sadness has set in. it was bound to happen. and with all the shit that's been going on, i don't really need this right now.

but i'm not gonna let it bother me. i shrug and keep on walking. this won't break me, not while i've been so strong these past few weeks! i'm getting stronger, more confident and more talented. i'm not taking defeat so easily.

oh well, the Used and Denver Harbor will probably drag me through this. and i will surface unscarred and stronger then ever.

(damn, it's almost like a poem ) ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/3348688/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/3348688/ Sun, 12 Sep 2004 15:53:28 PDT
the school itself is pretty cool. the assignments are cool and i'm gonna post all of them on my DA account.

but i'm so tired. and i also have to work, or i'll be broke. and i wanna see my friends and i have to rehearse with the band and i wanna see concerts and there's a girl i really like that i wanna see once a week or once every two weeks. man, my head is filled with too many problems now. i have no time and no life left.

but maybe, just maybe, if i'm lucky and if my parents are very nice... i can move out and live closer to school. but i can't pay it on my own, so it's up to my parents. i hope i can move out. soon...

goddammit, it's 1.00 already. i gotta go to sleep or i'm gonna be a friggin' zombie tomorrow.

see ya,

keep on truckin'

visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2992731/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2992731/ Thu, 29 Jul 2004 00:47:36 PDT
ok, so when I posted I was starting on my Thrice project yesterday, I didn't expect to have two finished the same day

I'm on a roll

But the next two will take a little more time because I have to work the rest of the week. But keep checking back for more of the Thrice Project. Vol. III is going to be Teppei.

keep on truckin'
Visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2985777/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2985777/ Wed, 28 Jul 2004 05:44:22 PDT
I call it "the Thrice Project". more coming soon ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2787199/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2787199/ Fri, 02 Jul 2004 11:35:36 PDT
goddamn, the new Taking Back Sunday cd is pure genius really amazing!

I cleaned up my gallery a bit, deleted some ugly, old art. I won't have a whole lot of time to create and/or upload new art, so it'll probably be quiet on my page for a while. I'm heading for a 1000 pageviews slowly. That's really cool. I can feel I'm getting better and my new study will stimulate my creativity even more, so expect a lot of new, cool and weird shit coming next year

(adam west's batman voice) now off to the shower, robin! ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2724170/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2724170/ Wed, 23 Jun 2004 02:02:21 PDT
My inspiration is back. I don't know if it's a positive or negative inspiration, but I'm makin' stuff again, so I guess it doesn't matter. I'm starting some more abstract projects again but this time using Cinema 4D instead of 3DS Max. Hopefully that will also be visible in the results. We'll just have to wait and find out.

But for now... back to watching Invader Zim! I have all the episodes now! Heaven!

hmmm... CHICKEN! ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2596201/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2596201/ Sun, 06 Jun 2004 11:18:21 PDT
That song actually contains my signature (Just because I rock, doesn't mean I'm made of stone) only they use "we" instead of "I". It's originally from the movie "the Bubble Boy". That movie is pure genius!

Anyway, I haven't really been here a lot lately. It's been fucking busy at school so I haven't really had a lot of time lately.

But, since a month or something, I have a new computer that is completely my own. No one else is allowed to use it, so I can do more work now. Holiday starts soon, and I don't start work for another month so I will probably be submitting again soon.

I have two abstract pieces about ready to upload and I'm gonna try some new stuff again.

See y'all later!

keep on truckin'!

Visceral-NL ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2256568/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2256568/ Mon, 19 Apr 2004 14:35:58 PDT
The more I listen to that Anberlin album, the more I love it. It takes some getting used to because the singer sounds like a woman sometimes. But once you're used to it, they rock... hard!

Anyway, it's time for a journal entry. I haven't had a lot of time to make stuff for my DA account lately. I've been kinda busy with school so I don't have a lot of free time to make cool stuff.

Plus, my computer is dying since today... Last friday I ran a virus scan and it turns out there was a shitload of virusses on my hard disk that scared the shit out of me, so I started cleaning up the hard disk on sunday. but it didn't help, because the minute I turn around, my little sister installs more spyware in a second than I can remove in a day! Result: my computer is slow as hell. If I run any application it takes half an hour before it's started up. Internet is really slow. Imagine trying to fit an elephant through a metal detector at the airport... the elephant's the internet, the metaldetector is my computer... yes, it's that slow.

Anyway, there's also good news. I got through the application rounds for my new school. Out of 70 applications, 27 people were accepted to the school. I'm one of them. So from September this year, I'll be a games developer (in training) so expect a lot of game related stuff here after that!

That's all for now!

Keep on truckin'!

~visceralNL

*kisses to Mutany* ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2120812/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2120812/ Wed, 31 Mar 2004 06:47:45 PST
Like I said in my last journal, last week would probably end perfect on friday. it didn't. it ended perfect on saturday although friday was a good day too.

explanation: I have a new girlfriend. and now I have all this inspiration but I'm so friggin' busy I can't do anything with it. that sucks, but at least I'm happy and in love again. feels good

my new girlfriend's also on DA: [link]

keep on truckin'! ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2073906/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2073906/ Wed, 24 Mar 2004 05:50:55 PST
this week's been a good week so far. a week with a lot of emotions. the week isn't over yet, and it'll probably end perfectly this friday

and I've got the new Autopilot Off cd! WOOHOO! that band rocks and the new cd is dynamite! check it out. ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2043457/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/2043457/ Fri, 19 Mar 2004 13:37:09 PST
goddamn, I love that band. they rock so goddamn hard that it's not even funny anymore!

anyway, I decided to put an end to the artwork that I've been making so much lately. It's time for something else. I'm really satisfied with the results and I've learned a lot. And I mean A LOT! But I think I've got it down now. And since I want to learn every technique and style there is (as long as it doesn't involve drawing) I'm gonna move on to a new style/technique and learn that.

I'm also gonna dig up some old work right now and see if there's any interesting stuff there.

keep on truckin'

(and if you can take some hardcore heavy metal with a gothic edge, download some Avenged Sevenfold!) ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/1985714/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/1985714/ Wed, 10 Mar 2004 08:08:32 PST ), I against I and Janez Detd and on monday I saw the lostprophets and (my second favorite band) Funeral for a Friend. I'm fucking stoked to have finally seen FFAF live. Not a whole lot of people in the audience knew them but they kicked the shit out of that place. Damn, that's what I call a performance!

And I downloaded the new Dead Poetic album. It's not officialy out yet but I don't care. That album fucking rocks! I just finished another deviation called "DistantAdmiration" and I feel good. Except for that headache that started popping up about an hour ago.

Now, to get myself a girl! GODDAMMIT!

keep on truckin'!

grtz. Visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/1871742/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/1871742/ Thu, 19 Feb 2004 11:32:51 PST
And all because I saw Thrice live and met them backstage. Those guys were really cool and the show was extremely awesome. It inspired me, like they have inspired me in so many ways.

School is kinda busy right now. We've started our graduation project. It's going to be a cd-rom production about game consoles. I'm going to be doing a lot of designing for that so I'll probably post a shitload of work in the next 4 months! The captain Zoltan image is just the first one.

I just finished our team website. It's online at amazinginsomniacs.tk [link]

It's in Dutch, I'm sorry. Just look at the pretty pictures

Keep on truckin'!

Visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/1778220/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/1778220/ Sun, 01 Feb 2004 15:08:54 PST
It's been kinda quiet the past two days. I've just been relaxing and working on my website. I'll post the url as soon as it's finished.

I wanna mention a website for everyone that uses (or considers using) the grunge style I have used from time to time: vBrush's website [link]

He's got a shitload of fucking cool and usefull brushes that make grunge so much easier and better looking. vBrush ROCKS! check out the site.

see ya,

Visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/1768076/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/1768076/ Fri, 30 Jan 2004 15:44:23 PST
It's 0:38 right now and it's time to go do something else. I'm beat. I just submitted my latest piece of work, which I'm really proud of. The work, not the submitting of it :s

I'm glad I finally joined deviantart, because now I can make kind of a showcase for everyone to see. I don't have to upload anything to my own server anymore (which was getting kinda full) and I can just email people a link to the deviation page. it rocks. so I'm gonna be spendin' a lot of time keeping this thing up to date and since I will most definitely be making more stuff soon (because I have more free time for a while) I'll fill my gallery up in no time

Thanks to all the people who have commented on my work so far, to the people who have added me to their friends list and to the one person who actually added something of mine to her favorites!

I'm gonna smoke one more cigarette and drink one more coke and then get some shut-eye!

respect!

Visceral ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/1765873/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/1765873/ Fri, 30 Jan 2004 06:01:17 PST So I'm just relaxing at home. Smoking cigarettes, drinking coke and listening to some music.

I'm gonna try and find some old pieces I made and upload them. There might be some interesting things there. ]]> ~visceralNL http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/1760749/ http://visceralNL.deviantart.com/journal/1760749/ Thu, 29 Jan 2004 06:32:54 PST
I mostly do webdesign, but I'm kinda getting bored with that so now occasionaly I just make things that pop up inside my head. ]]> ~visceralNL