http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:voidedawareness&section=today deviantART RSS for by:voidedawareness en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 08 Dec 2009 09:55:14 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/24546418/ http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/24546418/ Sat, 02 May 2009 10:54:05 PDT
]]> ~voidedawareness http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/24344163/ http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/24344163/ Mon, 20 Apr 2009 14:00:09 PDT
]]> ~voidedawareness http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/19973264/ http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/19973264/ Fri, 15 Aug 2008 15:45:37 PDT
A lot about you and where you've been

A lot about where our lives ran off to

And how easy it was to completely loose touch

I never understood when I was younger

How people could fall away from each other like we did

I never could comprehend how much our lives would change

And how much older we would get without one another

I look at you now and you're a thousand miles away

Our paths are completely different and yet…

I still hold a piece of you in my heart

And no matter how far apart our travels may take us…

You'll still be the incredible friend I learned to love with such ease.

]]> ~voidedawareness http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/15676960/ http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/15676960/ Mon, 26 Nov 2007 09:52:23 PST

but on the bright side... all my time is being spent with an amazing man.

miss lovely cristina.... thank you for your incredible art. Like i said in that comment I left you... My step mom fell in love with that print. I hope to continue supporting your art for as long as you create it.

and to the rest of you, keep it coming... even though i havent gotten through to all of your work, i am sure you are creating beauty everywhere.

]]> ~voidedawareness http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/14023310/ http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/14023310/ Sun, 05 Aug 2007 02:17:17 PDT
]]> ~voidedawareness http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/13936886/ http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/13936886/ Mon, 30 Jul 2007 05:57:40 PDT

]]> ~voidedawareness http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/12836846/ http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/12836846/ Fri, 04 May 2007 06:55:52 PDT

people say i hold my expectations too high...but all i expect is honesty. i refuse to lower my expectations for someone who can't pick up a phone. and i refuse to lower my expectations for someone who can't bother to make their life worth living.





So hey... if you are one of those people who told me you feel like you disappoint me because my expectations are too high... well my expectations aren't too high for me... they are too high for you. Would i rather disappoint myself by lowering myself to a level that i dont believe in or be disappointed that people cant be good people?


Hm. I wonder what the answer is to that one.

]]> ~voidedawareness http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/12690967/ http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/12690967/ Sun, 22 Apr 2007 11:43:39 PDT
Now, I am not religious, but I am spiritual, and not in a way that most people are as far as god is concerned. I guess I believe that creation in itself is the almighty being that has allowed for all that is in existence to be there. I don't believe in some humanized form of a god or anything like that... But I do believe in creation. I believe the universe created the earth, and the earth allowed for everything on it to be created. I believe we are all connected in either very simplistic ways or very complex ways. But regardless of how, we are connected. And I think people forget that sometimes, or even take advantage of it.

Here we are, on this beautiful planet we call Earth... which provides us with all we need to survive, but it is not good enough for us. We need to continue expanding and building and so on and so forth, and now the earth is getting to the point where it is having a hard time sustaining our growth. But we aren't really doing much about it... because we cant really unless we give up our current way of life, and that probably wont happen until people are forced into it...and being forced into it will probably cause some form of war, which probably will end in the the world dying anway.

But moving on from that thought... and leading into another that has to do with much of the same idea...The anniversary of Columbine was on friday...Now, I did not go to Columbine, but I knew quite a few people that did and I also was acquainted with the shooters. I did not know them well, but I had met them a few times and spent a bit of time around them. My sisters best friend at the time was stuck in the science room and still to this day has many problems hearing loud noises that could sound even remotely like gunshots. A girl I rode horses with got hit by pipe bombs and had to have reconstructive surgery on his arm... and still does not have complete mobility of her shoulder. She stopped riding horses after that...Those are just a few examples... So here I am, it has been years, but that day is so close to my heart, and the heart of everyone around here... that it will never be forgotten. It is something that sticks with you, even if you didnt know anyone there. Because it was a terrible act of pain and desperation and violence... Something that shocked the world...that shocked our lives... And for awhile it brought people together... And then it brought them further apart because of fear. Schools had cameras installed, metal detectors....Armed security guards...all this...at highschool...where you send your children to learn and be safe. But I think the most I learned going to school around that time was how to be afraid... and here I was... going to a school that predominately white christians who had rich parents...and I was one of the only little gothy kids in that entire place... It taught me how to be afraid of how people were going to respond to me now that there was so much fear and hatred.. And I think it taught people how to be more judgemental of others...it taught people that even though you may not ever think of doing something so terrible... you were now in a catagory of people...who COULD snap and kill others. We were all treated like we were walking into prisons...

I remember having to take a deep breath just to walk into school and face another day. It was a huge reason why i transferred schools. Once I transferred, i still had that feeling...but it wasn't because of the school or the people around me...it was because i had been trained to be afraid of who i was because other people might look at me differently.

Now, I always heard people talking shit about Manson, and video games.... Violent movies... You know... all those superficial things in this world...People weren't asking why really. They were just pointing the finger... Being pissed off. Which yeah, you can be pissed off...It was a terrible tragedy...but be angry in a productive way. Dont ban rockstars just because these kids listened to them.

So, we grieved for the losses and prayed for the survivors. People took a long time to heal. And every single time I hear about another school shooting, the question comes back to me. Why?

And it isn't just school shootings...it is pointless acts of murder in general. Why?

Now.... this isn't something that just started going on.... People have always killed other people for dumb reasons... but back in the day it was a bit more legal than it is now.. That is why it feels so shocking and new... Because we have grown up knowing it is wrong. But even though we know it is wrong... it still happens. Because somewhere along the line we think it isn't wrong. It isn't that hard to get the wires crossed though... Considering the kinds of wars we've engaged in recently. It is okay to kill as long as it is for a... ]]> ~voidedawareness http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/12340048/ http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/12340048/ Mon, 26 Mar 2007 17:32:14 PDT

i can be pretty to look at and interesting to hear but if you try to touch me i'll burn the fuck out of you.

]]> ~voidedawareness http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/12335396/ http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/12335396/ Mon, 26 Mar 2007 11:38:07 PDT
]]> ~voidedawareness http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/12170059/ http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/12170059/ Tue, 13 Mar 2007 14:32:13 PDT

I hate it when someone comes to my gallery and says "nice work." nice work on WHAT?! dont tell me things to be polite. The world is honest and harsh and cruel but also so beautiful and wonderful and full of inspiration....To be polite to be nice. Dont be polite to save my feelings. My feelings are here to feel. Not to sit around in a corner being spared.
This is art. Not a political debate. You dont need to worry about who youre going to offend...and if you are worried about it... you are holding back.

]]> ~voidedawareness http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/12116010/ http://voidedawareness.deviantart.com/journal/12116010/ Fri, 09 Mar 2007 09:08:16 PST
I looked up at him and I smiled. I said I liked everything. I was up for anything. I was an open mind and an open heart. Only people who like nothing say things like this. Only people who are stuck like me would ever be ridiculous enough to pretend this was a good answer.

But if it wasn’t a good answer, why did so many people fall for it?

Perhaps he thought he could mold me into exactly what he wanted in a wife. Perhaps people who have no likes or dislikes are just easier to obtain. I pondered this for a few moments while I stared at his graying mustache. I imagined what it would be like to kiss him with his whiskers attacking my lips and shuddered for an instant.

He was saying something and I had missed it. That is what happens when all you do is wonder. You miss things. I didn’t quite know what to say when he asked for my opinion and I panicked for a moment wondering what kind of answer to give. Would it be the honest approach? No. I don’t think he’d very much appreciate my thoughts on him molding me into his bride, nor would he enjoy thinking about his whiskers attacking me. Well, perhaps the latter would be amusing for him. But I’d really rather not take the risk.

So what then? Yes? No? Maybe..? I had no idea what he was saying. Quick. He’s staring at me. I’m waiting too long.

“Perhaps, we should discuss this over a cup of coffee at my apartment?”

Ah, yes, the casual invitation that seems to lead to sexual encounters most nights when used on dates. It seems that more and more I have been using this invitation as a way to get out of things. Ironic how it ends up getting people into me instead, isn’t it?

Arthur raises his eyebrows and gives a little smirk. I can hear his thoughts almost about what a wild fuck I must be to already be offering an invitation to my place. I knew he was running out of room in his trousers already, and this thought almost made me sick to my stomach. I looked him up and down. He could have almost been a handsome man in his prime, but now he was a middle aged arrogant prick who seemed to rely more on his wallet than his looks. His graying hair and mustache had an oily look to them and I did not fancy the idea of touching either of these things. But I knew I had gotten myself into this mess and I’d either have to think of a damn good excuse to get out of it or I’d be going home with this man and his large arrogance.

Arrogant men are never good in bed. Just in case anyone had any questions about this subject, I am an expert. And Arthur here, he would be no different.

He’s licking his lips and he has his hand resting on my leg, trying to make its way higher up to my thigh. He hits the hem of my skirt and starts to finger his way underneath it and I put my napkin down and excuse myself to the ladies room.

If I could just slip out the door without him noticing…It would be such a different matter if I felt this man could be an amazing lover. But there was nothing enticing about him aside from his fat wallet, and even that couldn’t make me feel anything but disgust for this man tonight. I knew it would just be terrible sex. I wouldn’t even be able to turn myself on in the bathroom before hand because the second we walk through the door of my apartment, he’ll be on top of me. That’s how the arrogant ones work. They never think about anything but getting what they want and once they’ve had it, they toss it away.

Of course the doors are in plain view of where our table was so there would be no sneaking out for me tonight. I would just have to attempt a bought of sickness on our way. Perhaps a terrible stomach ache or a head pain would do the trick. But knowing the type of man Arthur is, he will think that his skinny, short penis will be able to put me at ease no matter what.

I guess it isn’t fair to judge his penis yet, but it’s just a feeling I get. I walk past the doors and into the restroom. I stand in front of the mirror and sigh as I stare into my reflection. Sometimes I have no idea who it is before me. The ghost of me hardly even seemed to be in my reflection anymore.

I figure I might as well try to get myself in the mood in the stall before I go back out, seeing as how I am not going to be able to get out of this. It’s amazing the price I pay to remain interesting to the men I would n... ]]> ~voidedawareness