http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:vorernil&section=today deviantART RSS for by:vorernil en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 29 Dec 2009 14:13:49 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/5518191/ http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/5518191/ Wed, 01 Jun 2005 04:55:29 PDT
My life has been reduced to schoolwork, talking to S on the phone, house chores and grocery shopping. Man, it's a far cry from my days of working in cafes and pubs while studying, going to mambos on Wednesdays and club-hopping (if I wasn't already working in one) during the weekends. Is it by choice? Not exactly. Somehow something feels amiss. Is it the clubbing? Likely, but not entirely. Is it not hanging out with friends and catching the odd movie or so? Possibly, but not exactly.

It's the first time I've stopped working in a looong while. Somehow now, other than schoolwork, I have nothing else to 'do'. It actually starts to feel unnatural. I see students rushing off to work after classes and I think: hey, I need to find a job too. Art materials and printing, among other things, cost a bomb. Winter's coming and the electricity bill is gonna shoot up the roof. Hey, my phone bill already has.

But I always manage to stop myself and remind myself of how I had slogged before coming here. For 3 years I was either working my ass off, or stressing out that I wasn't. For the time before that, I was always juggling work in the evenings if I didn't have school the next day, work during the weekends, and of 'cos, school. I had been working during long school breaks since I was 15, either as waitressing, going door to door selling Christmas cards or as a TV extra which paid peanuts. I still remember one time in poly, I was working as a waitress in a club and it was Halloween. They made me paint my face like a ghastly-looking monster, totally unrecognisable. Some of the regular customers who sometimes made small talk to me, thought I wasn't working that night - they didn't know that monster with the white face and black eyes serving them their usual drinks, was me. Yet, I was the only one whom management had 'dressed up'. The rest objected and didn't have to do anything like that, in fact, they wore stuff that were pretty nice, and they didn't need to have their faces painted at all. I went home feeling rather stupid that night, and it bugged me for some time, but being 19 then, I guess I was too young to know how to say no.

ANYWAY. So yeah. Within the first month after graduation (from poly) I was already working. It was a crazy thought at that time, but because the first pay I was getting as a full-time designer was so low, I was seriously considering getting a part-time job on the side. But that was out of the picture - that job had me working late into the nights on weekdays, and days on weekends. That was enough, I didn't even have time to sleep.

The time in Singapore spent working was hectic and stressful, to say the least. When I had work, I kept wondering when it would stop. When it did, either by my choice or by circumstances, I was worried how long it would be before I was working again. It was crazy. I wasn't even working towards a goal, I was working just so I had a job and could earn my own keep. Times were the hardest when I graduated - it was right smack in the middle of an economic downturn, the worst in years. Companies were closing down and getting sued, the ones I worked in were no exceptions. It didn't seem to matter what work you did, just as long as you worked. In fact, it didn't seem like it mattered if you had ideas - clients were paying peanuts and to make up for it, companies were taking in more jobs. It doesn't have to be nice, they said. They're paying peanuts for it so just do a quick job and move on to the next one. On the other end, there were those management who charged ridiculous amounts and could not deliver because I was the only one doing the creatives and they were just piling it onto me, design-related or not. My parents were just happy I had a job, nevermind the fact I was losing myself in the process. If I didn't, the nagging bandwagon would follow me and I'd just get a job to shut them up.

When I was in poly, someone did mention that it felt like I was a workaholic. I didn't think so at that time, I still don't. I felt like I wasn't getting enough pocket money to enjoy eating out, watching movies and hanging out with friends, so I took on part-time jobs. The thing is, my dad had a policy whereby if I worked, I didn't take pocket money. So I increased my work hours to make up for it. That eventually changed, but I got so tired of their nagging about paying my phonebills (which wasn't high) and art materials etc, I took pocket money less n less. The moment I started working full time, I was on my own.

I don't think I'm a workaholic, but I have to admit it feels weird not having to work now. It feels like something's amiss, it almost feels like - dare I say it - I have no goal, no use. The moment I typed that, it felt crazy. I was working an a... ]]> ~vorernil http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/5408064/ http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/5408064/ Fri, 20 May 2005 01:17:52 PDT
Anyone? ]]> ~vorernil http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/4994506/ http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/4994506/ Mon, 04 Apr 2005 04:43:31 PDT ~vorernil http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/4352370/ http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/4352370/ Tue, 18 Jan 2005 14:16:42 PST
1) 20th Jan, Thursday > Kampong!+Wayang!+Garang!+Guni!+Lelong! The Chap Pa Lang Party At Alley Bar (I'm surprised they have such an event at such a posh bar.) (Sorry, another update: our involvement yet to be confirmed. administrative stuff.) [link]

2) 21st Jan, Friday - at Cheng San Community Centre, 6pm - 10.30pm, some line dance thingy. 6 Ang Mo Kio, Street 53 - Behind AMK MRT Station and Opposite Block 512.

3) 23rd Jan, Sunday - SunPlaza Park Amphitheatre. Event: Regular Jams at SunPlaza Park - near Tampines Interchange and MRT. Time: 6.00pm - 9.30pm

4) 24th Jan Monday - Singapore Mangement University (SMU) some event from 3pm-8pm where some Minister will be there, with Singapore Idols Sylvester and Taufik.


And last but not least, on the actual day itself (World Harmony Day, 20th Feb - www.worldharmonyday.com) we are holding a remembrance ceremony at the Suntec City Fountain of Wealth.

More negotiations in progress, stay tuned for more updates! For new readers, please go to [link] for more information. ]]> ~vorernil http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/4284351/ http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/4284351/ Mon, 10 Jan 2005 08:46:56 PST [link] for full details. There is even a forum included.

Overseas supporters are welcome too!
We await like-minded supporters from institutions/organisations/ individuals who would like to help us extend this movement beyond our region. Email us at love@mind-trip.com with the subject header "Overseas". ]]> ~vorernil http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/3313725/ http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/3313725/ Wed, 08 Sep 2004 04:33:40 PDT
"Other than have Mr High-Maintainence gloat about his 300 threadcount bedsheets while being totally oblivious to my eyeball-rolling, I have to endure Mr-High-Maintanence's blind 'superior taste' when it comes to shopping for the house.

(in the supermarket)
Mr-High-Maintanence: Darn, I don't have a microwave. If you can help me find a microwave that's below $79, I'd buy it immediately.
Me: Nor. *points to a microwave that costs $78.85*
Mr-High-Maintanence: Oh....they actually have one here?? Cool! *goes to inspect the microwave.*
After a while, he puts it down and walks away.
Me: What's wrong with it?
Mr-High-Maintanence: It's a dial timer.
Me: So?
Mr-High-Maintanence: I want a digital one.

----------------------------
Mr-High-Maintanence: I don't understand how you can survive without a microwave.
Me: I have an oven, and a stove.
Mr-High-Maintanence: Yeah, but they're still not microwaves!
Me: Why do I need a microwave?
Mr-High-Maintanence: For heating up soups?
Me: I have my stove.
Mr-High-Maintanence *innocently*: So?
Me: I pour it into a pot and heat it up. *thinks: DUH*
Mr-High-Maintanence: But you have to wash!
Me: YEAH...*thinks: DUH x 2*
Mr-High-Maintanence: Ok, how about those instant meals, like instant pastas and such?
Me: Put it into a pan, and into the oven. Of 'cos, you dun let it dry up... add either water or milk..or just wrap it in aluminium foil....
Mr-High-Maintanence: So troublesome...
Me: Of 'cos, not having a microwave also makes me wanna eat instant foods less, which is also healthier.. (and cheaper too, but I can't tell him THAT.)
Mr-High-Maintanence: Yeah, but it's so much more inconvenient...
Me: My course is only 1.5 years, getting my own place and having to furnish it is already going the extra mile, I don't need extra stuff I don't absolutely need....AHHH nevermind.

----------------------------
(I take a 4-serving porcelain plate set that's a bargain in the supermarket.)

Mr-High-Maintanence: Why DO you have to choose that set? (translation: why do you have to take the cheapest set?)
Me: It's classic white with blue stripes, and it's porcelain. Why not?
Mr-High-Maintanence: Hey, why not THIS set....This plate set is suitable for microwave cooking, and is dishwashing-proof!
Me: I have neither a microwave, NOR a dishwashing machine. What's your point?
Mr-High-Maintanence: ..........

-----------------------------------
Mr-High-Maintanence (for some reason, still wishing I could get a more expensive plate set): Heyheyhey, how about this set?
Me: *sigh* Take a look at all the sets available here, and imagine you havn't seen their price tags. Now which would you choose?
Mr-High-Maintanence *looks around*: ERmmmm.... *points to the one I have* ACTUALLY.... that looks the most classic.

Don't let price get in the way of better judgement."
------------------------

That aside, I wonder how the situation at home is like with a new government. My latest DA work's about my guess on it back home in Singapore. You know, I wish I'm wrong. LHL seems to be making many bold announcements about relaxing rules that has moulded Singapore since his dad was in power, but is he just complying to the many complaints, or does he really want that for the nation?

Can he do something his dad can't – give power to the people?

Yet, one thing he mentioned in the National Day Rally makes me highly skeptical. Uttering the very sentence 'the government has the answer to everything' is very telling.

Very telling indeed. ]]> ~vorernil http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/1464853/ http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/1464853/ Sat, 29 Nov 2003 00:48:27 PST by Dido

Two weeks away it feels like the world should've changed
But I'm home now
And things still look the same
I think I'll leave it to tomorrow till unpack
Try to forget for one more night
That I'm back in my flat on the road
Where the cars never stop going through the night
To real life where I can't watch sunset
I don't have time
I don't have time

[Chorus:]
I've still got sand in my shoes
And I can't shake the thought of you
I shake it all, forget you
Why, why would I want to
I know we said goodbye
Anything else would've been confused but I wanna see you again

Tomorrow's back to work down to sanitation
should've run back ?? before I left here
Try to Mama show her that I was happy here
Before I knew that I could get on the plane and fly away
From the road where the cars never stop going through the night
To real life where I can't watch sunset
And take my time
Take up our time

[Chorus]

I wanna see you again
Two weeks away, all it takes to change in time around by falling
I walked away and never said that I wanted to see again

[Chorus x2]
I wanna see you again
I wanna see you again
------------------------------
I hate the sentimental side of me. ]]> ~vorernil http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/985085/ http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/985085/ Thu, 24 Jul 2003 20:02:41 PDT
That made me think. It seems like I'm so much of a stranger to different people. A friend, let's call him AB, someone I used to work with in a club when I was 17, had the impression that I was 'wild and playful', until he knew a side of me thru another friend. My colleague seems to think of me as the quiet one (all colleagues have that impression of me). The radio played some alternative music, (Evanscence) which I was nodding my head to and humming along, and she went, 'Woa,our dear like this kind of music ah, not like you leh.'To my buddy I'm the trance-loving-goody-two-shoes-who-needs-protecting, to another i'm the 'swingin' single ' (or so it seems to them-?! weird). You know how it's like, some think of you as the rational and patient one, some others think of you as the happy-go-lucky one, yet others think of you as the quiet and 'mousey' one...etc. I find it true what they say - some people bring out the best in you. And of 'cos, some bring out the worst... I guess human beings are very social creatures. We can't be a certain way and fit ourselves into categories once and for all. We constantly readjust ourselves to suit our environment, to suit the situation. When you think about it that way, it's amazing how our primitive survival skills has evolved through the times, but still prevalent, nevertheless.

Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet.
_________________Jill Zevallos-Solak, 1974_____________________

You have only one life, live it to the fullest -
Don't take it so seriously.

My new mantra. ]]> ~vorernil http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/727261/ http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/727261/ Fri, 16 May 2003 02:33:53 PDT
If I start work at that ad place, I know I'll be worked to DA bone, probably my 2 only destinations being work and home. I know OTs is common in this line, but if the CD can say that sometimes you'll need to work 48hrs straight, (read carefully : straight) I know I will not have a life. That's not too bad if the pay is good and I can do exciting work, but for all the cockiness and arrogance that fella has (I'm soooo tempted to be racist here), I know I'll be shooting back at him with "You've not seen the good designers in Singapore 'cos what makes you think they wanna see YOU?" and "Go back to your cherry blossoms if you don't know how to appreciate our orchids." Attitude is one thing, he can't fire me 'cos I'm proud of my own country and its talents and putting him in his place (so to speak) 'cos hey mister, you're in MY country so don't you go insulting the very people who pay for your mortgage. I can still take attitude if I wanna learn from you. I'll just make sure you know what I think too. Maybe that's ok, maybe he's just waiting to be challanged. But what I fear is putting in all those hours and yet churning out work that I do not derive any satisfaction from. (Their portfolio seems dodgy, can't help but smell a rat somewhere. Not to mention I've seen their ads in the papers a couple of times liao...hmmm) A nightmare would be the exact opposite of learning more and being inspired - becoming jaded and rusty.

On the other hand, we have a part time job which is doing what I did while studying - waitressing. No big deal, true, but with the extent of the place, it looks like good learning ground. Learning doesn't always have to be one track, such fine dining knowledge would also be useful in future. The rates are not bad, and they pay you to learn about the 100+ wines that they have, not to mention cheeses and ales..etc. And back track to when I worked as a waitress, I was always so happy, maybe because of the fun I had with the people working with me, maybe because I just like the service industry. (Ironic, esp for someone who doesn't like meeting clients). So therefore.. I'll be part-timing there.

I hope I'm not wrong in doing this while on the lookout for a good full time job. (having a good feeling about the job is very important..ya know?) At least with this waitressing job I can work to da bone and still get paid for it. I pray I'm doing the right thing.

And at the same time I'm applying for a part time retail sales assistant for an inline skating brand! That would be so cool...a part time job that centres around my favourite sport. Gosh these few months....they are the most illogical and whirlwind period of my life (so far)!! ]]> ~vorernil http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/706714/ http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/706714/ Sat, 10 May 2003 04:32:53 PDT
Woa, that cartoon series has been going on for as long as i can remember. Almost like Days of Our Lives. But it's cute, a diverse mix of characters and new things always pop up but the people remain the same. I like it how chi xing and yet shy Wu dai is, it's so cute and yet sweet. And Guan li yuan xiao jie is always so gentle and demure, patient and yet quietly independent. Today the theme for 2 cartoons was holidays... Guan li yuan xiao jie took a holiday by herself and Wu dai went to find her by going by the itenary she put on her door, but somehow it's like that chinese cartoon on the web that Shacko posted on the SJ girls blog, they hope to see each other but they never bump into each other, despite being in the same train (just sitted back to back!) or same holiday spot, lake..etc. And when they almost got a chance to meet, Wu dai gets knocked down and arrested by a policeman who thought he was a psycho. Geez!

The other cartoon, less subtle and more in-your-face comical (" 'Elope'? What's that? Can eat or not?") had me laughing even after a lousy morning. I like the cutesy way of Japanese humour, always so shy and exaggerated, very action. This was about these 2 you-like-me-I-like-you-but-we're-not-together 'couple' who go on holiday, meet this other girl (3 people, so yeah, love triangle situation), get lost, and all their friends go all over Japan to look for them BUT end up lost themselves and YET still get to find them...blah. It's funny. But you know manga..sure got the girls in bikini and samurai fighters.. it was still funny. Tries to be decent but with many 'accidents'. *LOL*

The scenaries depicted, even if in a cartoon, was so nice. Soft green grass, big lake *ahem*, traditional inns, huge colourful flowers, dreamy sunsets... Wow! Unreal. When is it gonna be my next holiday? When will I get to go Switzerland?

Different cultures really have their own ways of humour. I guess for the Japanese, everything is hidden under an 'oh-I'm-so innocent' facade, their humour, their art, even their porn. ;-X *blushes and smiles innocently*.
]]> ~vorernil http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/700198/ http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/700198/ Thu, 08 May 2003 01:58:41 PDT in the land that is plentiful,
where your streams of abundance flow;
blessed be your name.

Blessed be your name
when I'm found in the desert place,
though I walk through the wilderness
blessed be your name.

Every blessing you pour out
I'll turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in,
Lord, still I will say:

Blessed be the name of the Lord
blessed be your name.
Blessed be the name of the Lord,
blessed be your glorious name.

You give and take away,
you give and take away.
My heart will choose to say:
'Lord, blessed be your name.'
--- --- ---

How can I complain, when it was never mine to begin with?

How can I be disgruntled, when He has showered me with more blessings than pebbles that I stumble on from time to time?

How can I forget that God works for the good of those who love him?

But most of all, how can I forget to trust in Him, of what happens in and what becomes of, my one and only life?--Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.-- ]]> ~vorernil http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/700098/ http://vorernil.deviantart.com/journal/700098/ Thu, 08 May 2003 00:34:01 PDT I have always been proud of my country, how it's managed to come this far, and how efficient, clean and uncorrupted it is. In a way, perhaps, I felt that people shouldn't leave for greener pastures just because they thought the living standard here was too high, it's a small price for everything we've got. I guess, I felt that as citizens of Singapore we should be 'stayers' and not 'leavers'. Afterall, this is home.

But I guess, now that I look at it from a bigger picture, there are over 3 million people (I heard it has reached the numbers of 4.5 million, counting foreigners) cramped here on this tiny island, and that since everyone is fighting for that car, or that flat, or that job, it doesn't really matter whether one decides to leave, does it? Especially if home isn't appreciative of a non-techonological or business individual. Hey, for all you know, they could appreciate having one less person to squeeze with on orchard road or on the bus.

It's amazing how my thinking has changed since young. It used to be 'oh I won't do this...', 'I definately won't be...' or 'I'll never think about....', but I guess what I've learnt all this time, although not long, is that there are no absolutes in this world. We are, afterall, human.

So, this is growing up.

Children are so pure. --Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.-- ]]> ~vorernil