http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:wanderingxblues&section=today deviantART RSS for by:wanderingxblues en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 19 Dec 2009 11:09:55 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/20783440/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/20783440/ Wed, 01 Oct 2008 19:22:13 PDT
]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/20723172/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/20723172/ Sun, 28 Sep 2008 12:19:26 PDT
I think pine cones maybe for x-mas.


Cthulu is getting very big.

I need someone to take pics of my art.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/17594511/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/17594511/ Sun, 30 Mar 2008 17:52:00 PDT
that is all.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/17346074/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/17346074/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 11:30:53 PDT






is that too much?

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/17059019/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/17059019/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 14:32:55 PST
Good friends
Good times
Good points earned with that "one"
and

Great sex.


so use me use me cause i aint that average groupie...

haha

I'm so tired. R left at 4:30 or 5am and i got up for class at 11.

nap.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/16634407/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/16634407/ Tue, 29 Jan 2008 19:15:18 PST
i'm being sad and silly. and also...

i'm being a girl.

i need meditation and medication and someone to hold. my. hand.

and not EXPECT sex.

but.. i guess it is all in the way i present myself.

and i guess i'm a whore.

and i guess that's just me.

and i guess that's ok.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/16477728/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/16477728/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 16:27:47 PST
i don't know...

but i'll go watch them and figure it out.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/16060597/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/16060597/ Sun, 23 Dec 2007 14:58:24 PST
i think i could love you.

i could write it a million times and it would still be pale and insufficient. i'm guilty. i'm maddening and i know it. i prey on your strength to feed my own. pray that you're strong enough to give me the will to breathe words of unsurpassable beauty into your ear. To give me the courage to touch you and not cry when you pull away. Maybe I need the strength to give up this losing battle. and now you're far away. and i'm here. and i'm waiting for the words to come. but they wont. so i get to grace you with a passing sentence of good will, which contains nothing close to what i'm actually feeling. Maybe it is just the winter. I keep saying it. I know. I use this frost as an excuse to freeze. And I render you unexcused. I impose this heart on you. I'll force it into your hands in pieces, knowing full well you will scatter them to the winds. Please, scatter me South where I can thaw and be reminded that the strength is within me to be alone, with or without you. I can stand the solitude. I can stand on the foot of your bed like it is the end of a pier. and when i finally let myself sink into blankets of dark water, i know you will be there to drown me or take my hand. "to break and bury, or wear like jewelry, whichever you prefer..." You too could be faceless in my dreams. But you are him, and her, and them. you are everywhere i turn and not to be found. I should know by now that you are not the one that a girl gets to keep. Not a girl like me. I should know by now that you will wait for the prettier one. the more intelligent one. the happier one. the younger one. the faceless, namesless, substanceless wonder. the antithesis of everything you are, but there you wait. And maybe i've expected too much of someone I hardly know. Maybe i've not understood it when you repeatedly push me down and away.

Don't you see that I could be something. I'll never be everything. I never want to be. But I could be the something in your nothing. I could build you. You could break me. We could destroy each other, but from the ashes rises a phoenix. and you will be new and beautiful in my wake. And I will remain the tower. How the mighty have fallen.

Maybe this isn't even about you. Maybe I just wish I felt this way about someone. Or maybe you're just the unattainable wonder. I just think we should have tried. Because any normal girl would hate you. But i'm rare. collectable. and you can trade me anytime for a more eclectic piece if you can find one.

I'll tell you all I know. You didn't even make it to the bottom of the page.

I'm just depressed. This too shall pass. And then it shall come again.

I talk about loops, and i'm right back in one. There is just something about you that no one else sees. and I know i'll never be your first choice, but when you run out of options... i'll probably still be here.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/16012172/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/16012172/ Thu, 20 Dec 2007 09:36:59 PST

ALOT.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/16001821/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/16001821/ Wed, 19 Dec 2007 14:34:40 PST 1.) have a spotless house
2.) get rid of all my posessions
3.) become a real person

Three Names You Go By:
1.) Sandra
2.) Sadie
3.) Audrey

Three Screen Names You Have Had:
1.) wanderingxblues
2.) Kommichmalzudir
3.) sandraa02

Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
1.) i'm getting skinnier
2.) my hair
3.) i guess i have a pretty face

Three Parts Of Your Heritage:
1.) Irish
2.) German
3.) Nothing Else

Three Things That Scare You:
1.) Being Alone
2.) The Dark
3.) Being Institutionalized

Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:
1.) Music
2.) Sketch Book
3.) Laptop

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1.) Sunglasses
2.) Bracelet
3.) Two Rings (those are the ONLY 3 things i'm wearing actually)

Three Of Your Favorite Bands/Musical Artists:
1.) Bright Eyes
2.) Poets of the Fall
3.) Neutral Milk Hotel

Three Of Your Favorite Songs:
1.) Bowl of Oranges- Bright Eyes
2.) Carnival Of Rust- Poets of the Fall
3.) I'll follow you into the dark- Death Cab for Cutie

Three Things You Want In A Relationship:
1.) Honesty
2.) Creativity
3.) Curiosity

Two Truths And A Lie (in no particular order):
1.) I'm a real person
2.) I can blow smoke rings
3.) I give everyone the benefit of the doubt at least once

Three Physical Things About The Preferred Sex(es) That Appeal To You:
1.) long hair
2.) Tall
3.) Expressive eyes

Three Of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1.) Painting
2.) Playing Music
3.) Blanket game

Three Things You Want To Do Really Badly Right Now:
1.) Clean my house
2.) Wrap my non-denominational holiday gifts
3.) Watch Fern Gully

Three Careers You're Considering/You've Considered:
1.) Actress
2.) Stage Manager
3.) Director

Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation:
1.) Seattle
2.) Amsterdam
3.) FInland

Three Names You Like:
1.) Osker
2.) Elliot
3.) Sadie

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Girl:
1.) Boys make me sad
2.) I love kitties
3.) I love the color pink

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically A Boy:
1.) I curse like a sailor
2.) i dress boyishly
3.) i am a gay emo boy at heart.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15994251/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15994251/ Tue, 18 Dec 2007 23:07:50 PST hunger hurts, but starving works when it costs too much to love.



here's the thing. I could make you my world, but it would be a lonely place to live.


i had a happy day today of non-denominational holiday shopping with my girls.

and some saddness... but mostly joy.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15971582/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15971582/ Mon, 17 Dec 2007 10:56:46 PST
my eyes are bleeding.

i knew.

i knew it.

"maybe i'll get ahold of you later."

you can try.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15870689/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15870689/ Sun, 09 Dec 2007 23:44:13 PST
you wasted me like fucking after an abortion.


pointless.

and YET

i want to come to your sweating room and your freezing heart

and curl up for decades. or seconds. as long as you'd let me stay.

theres a dog on tv talking about smoking weed.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15772883/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15772883/ Mon, 03 Dec 2007 00:03:07 PST with liquid in your mouth
like you're choosing between choking and spitting it all out
like you're trying to fight gravity on a planet that insists
that love is like falling and falling is like this."


i never meant to hurt you. don't you know, beautiful girl, that for one perfect second you are the light of the world. the halleluia in my soul.

i just. need someone who doesn't love me the way you do.

because love is real and love is hard. and i could love you with every inch of my mouth and heart and hands

but then what?

then. what.

i need someone who will fuck me and leave me because what else am i worth?

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15758203/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15758203/ Sun, 02 Dec 2007 01:31:21 PST
its late (early) and i'm feeling guilty.

something isn't sitting right with me.

SLEEP.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15752252/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15752252/ Sat, 01 Dec 2007 16:03:51 PST
but it didn't help it hurt any less.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15714291/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15714291/ Wed, 28 Nov 2007 21:39:19 PST
]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15701210/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15701210/ Tue, 27 Nov 2007 23:02:30 PST
tonight i grinned like a little girl.

and giggled. i think i giggled too.

ew. i disgust myself. you!

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15672230/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15672230/ Sun, 25 Nov 2007 22:13:17 PST
was a beautiful day.

church. mac and cheese ghetto style...

and you. so much you.

and i'll smile until i break.

>^.^<

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15651826/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15651826/ Sat, 24 Nov 2007 15:12:32 PST
scott came over today. i gave him what he came for.

always.

because i'm a stupid girl. and i'm so alone without him.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15591391/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15591391/ Tue, 20 Nov 2007 14:24:37 PST
]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15559833/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15559833/ Sun, 18 Nov 2007 09:03:38 PST
he's wasting his life on pills and alcohol. video games and apathy.

and there is not a thing i can do.

i don't mean to throw myself at you... i can't adjust it now. its too late for correction.

maybe you can use me. you know i would let you. well, you don't know.

you would never know that these words were meant for you.

my journey to the woods was the spiritual adventure i was looking for.

i'm back in touch with myself. good because i see more clearly. bad because i can see the mistakes that i am making.

death. a new beginning. sudden forced change. i want it. change me. i've given my soul up to the universe. offered it with both hands. transform it. i'm ready.

]]> ~wanderingxblues http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15554927/ http://wanderingxblues.deviantart.com/journal/15554927/ Sat, 17 Nov 2007 22:07:11 PST
call me an addictive personality?

just call me.



i'm the wolf. you're the sheep. and i'm in your clothing.

]]> ~wanderingxblues