http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:wash-away&section=today deviantART RSS for by:wash-away en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:47:06 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/27660411/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/27660411/ Thu, 08 Oct 2009 23:25:41 PDT
soon i'll find out if i can enter the guard, if i can i'll be able to move out, pay for school and life, and be in utah for the next 8 years.

if i can't i'll be paying for school for a very very long time (80k) and still at home most likely.

that and because i'm going to the Art Institute i'm finding out thats its not accredited like it says it is. and i'm starting to see the pyramid scheme their talking about with the school.

top o' that why are all the good girls with douche bags? i met a girl at a party a while back and she can't hang out, paint, or even see me because of her boyfriend who lives with her because he doesn't want to live with HIS parents and lost his job. does this cry dead beet to anyone else?

o well, i think i'll always remember as i walked to the bus station to go into the city to buy anti freeze to kill myself. walking past a car and their listening to Modest Mouse: float on.

and we'll all float on okay.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/27258550/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/27258550/ Thu, 17 Sep 2009 07:57:43 PDT
i recently tried to critique one of these works and got an arrogant self righteous snob that said "it can look however i want and its not fat its pregnant, le sigh"

i pointed out the problems with her anatomy and after saying that anime isn't based of real world anatomy he proceeded to call me a little boy (lol)

anyone else have a problem dealing with old perverts that just found MS paint?

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/26736631/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/26736631/ Fri, 21 Aug 2009 15:04:24 PDT
lol i was trying to get this girls number today in my photography class. she's way way attractive but i have no game :fail-mote: but my god she was freakin amazing!! i'm gonna try again next week cause i didn't ask for her number i'll be good.

i love wemon...

but i also found a performing arts theater in salt lake i'm gonna go with mallorie. i still like her though i asked her out already and got turned down. we're still dating.

going to a rave tomorrow, that should be way fun! i need to get out more and party.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/26559050/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/26559050/ Wed, 12 Aug 2009 22:54:56 PDT [link]

you know i think the impersonal way we communicate isn't "bad" its just wierd. if you don't like someone just send them a link, or text them. but thats now what i'm wondering today.

my friend that i went to warped tour with is dating her ex again and may be engaged this next saturday. when last saturday i had my arms around her holding her while we where rockin out.

on top o that i asked mallorie out today and she said that she just got out of a relationship and isn't ready. i found out she's dating other guys too and that she's just playing the field.

for some reason the phrase i heard a while ago is starting to ring truer "girls only find love when their young, if they miss it they just settle"

now after my dads divorce all he talks about is euphoric (s/p?) recall. where you only remember the good things about someone. now i left the church and i'm trying to find the happy balance of life/fun that makes living worth it. i just wish i understood a little more then i do now.

"if there is no god, nothing matters. If there is a god he is all that matters" i read that on a shirt the other day and i hate it. the idea that society will not hold you acountable for your wrong's is, well, wrong.

live for yourself, live for everyone, you'll be able to have a lot more fun.

i just wish i knew more about "life" then i do now.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/26367920/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/26367920/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:33:53 PDT
i got a total of about 14 hours of sleep over wensday, thursday, and friday. becuase i had a huge project that i almost didn't finish in time. i remember waking up, not even thinking shook my had back and forth really hard and said 'lets do this!' lol my subconscious is more determind then i am. how the hell did that happen?

Artist of the day [link] i hope that works.
[link]
i love this one. all her work is so fantastic its just original and flows. always. her stuff reminds me that when i walk down the street there's millions of things i'm doing by simply breathing and the air im' pushing past, through, and out, i love her for ever and i want to hold her hand.

funny thing i learned today. being an asshole is okay, now follow me on this.

there's a girl i work with that is just about (i'm proud of her for trying) as cynical as i am. i was shipping some 40k stuff and she said she wouldn't pay a dollar for it and i called her a stuck up city girl etc. we batter like this all the time. now after that i really pissed her off but in the brake room later she told me about a guy she's "dating" and i told her about mallorie and how nervouse i was. lol she deleted my number and wished me luck the same day.

so my conclusion is that people aren't as emotionally unstable that you can't give them a hard time and they'll not recover. however thats not to say be an asshole, that is to be an asshole about what you beleive in.

to quote a guy "there is no mustard hierarchy, all mustard exists on a plain [of taste]"
that is to say, we all have our tastes of life and no one is right or wrong for painting the tree's red or the roses blue. life's seasonal you know?
to quote another guy "i'm a douche bag bla bla bla bla"

after my boss started talking to a customer about how her daughter is an english major he said how great that is. my boss said it sucks sometimes because she corrects her gramar, i piped in and laughed saying "thats the wonderful thing about a living language is that it means what we want it to" the customer in true douche style said "there's no such thing as a living language, look up stupidly in the dictionary and its not there. Get a dictionary and learn to speak"

he's true on that one but he failed to see the point while he was making fun of his cashier.

newb is a word, so is sasafras and quibly and whatever else i decide to put togethor. language is not stationary rather we use sounds to communicate what we feal an object, fealing, verb, noun, or whatever repressents. for example there is no french word for 'internet' according to the society of correctly speaking french. its the 'interweb' or international spider web.

life advances, for example you wouldn't call a plain a chariot even though in ancient greece thats the only word they had for moving object controlled by a person.

so yay! and grats to people who read these your my hero's.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/26208719/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/26208719/ Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:14:38 PDT
anywho if anyone would care i guess they'd read my journal so here ya go!

I started painting my dire avengars now that my exarch is all but done. i'm doing a Triad color theme (violet, Green, and Orange) so on my dire avengars the majority of their armour is violet, their weapons are green and black (beil'tan) and their helmets/shoulders are light light orange brown to white.

also i've sold quit a few things on ebay now and i'm loving the extra money. i hope i can get ahead enough i can buy battle foam. though... i don't have my army finished yet so go figure.

i'll post pics when the squads done. i want to get warpsiders but those damn things are hard to come by.

Everyone listen to [link] episode 51! i was on it. and again during the bar part but thats a freebota thing sorry.

[link]

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/26056839/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/26056839/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 01:37:28 PDT mallorie i met in line waiting for my 'kit' from ai. i don't know how old she is but i really love talking to her. she's a vegitarian who's taking culinary to be a pastry sheff. i think she's great and seams to be very sucsesful and i'm trying to dodge the age question because i'm pretty sure she's older then me

Jake--
*sigh* how to explain this. he's a graphic design major and an environment NAZI! omfg i was talking to someone else about when i was a kid playing with plastic squirt guns and he chimed in saying how bad it is for the environment. I didn't have the heart to tell him i shot an elk at 70 yards out right in the lung. he's in my perspective class. a very outspoken libral. why i don't get involved in polotics...

Ivory--
i met ivory at lunch at ai's get ready day. she is also a vegitarian, and is kind of shy. i talked to her for a bit and she seams like someone that is just kinda happy and does things. she's a little akward but who isn't.

now AI is an interesting cross section of society. i am so different from these people but its honestly an amazing change from the fat rednecks trying to fuck the white trash cowgirls.

2 things,
i went to a rodeo, now i know what hitler would feal like going to a barmiztva (s/p)

liberals freak me out, republicans too, but liberals especially. a society without guns as wonderful as it might be has a crime rate way over what one with guns does. i'd rather depend on myself in alley when the cops budget they just cut because they had to go to south america to fuck someone.

i think this is interesting, i love the people at my school. the only problem i've met is that so many people are outspoken. in a place where ideas are your homework their expressed very loudly. in my photo class they had a huge topic about global warming after my teacher commented on polar bears losing ice to live on and another student said its all a scam.

but anywho i'm geting use to the drive of 70mins every 3 days.

i just wonder when the day will come when we put aside our differences and realize what the fuck reality is. -lewis black

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/26056744/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/26056744/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 01:24:09 PDT
i'm an art student, i plan to be the best, and i'm gonna make the presidents list (4.0), if nothing else the deans list (3.7 or better). i'm an artist, its all i can be. but honestly most people that go to business school do what? they sit in a desk working for their boss in a company they can't do anything in. they are cogs and i'm not. I'm a pretty cog that works somewhere outside!

now this isn't my whole bash on society, i understand demandaycheck, but is it that bad?

[link]

i wonder why other careers don't have this, why is it heroic and noble to be a firefighter when they don't make any money? why isn't just as good to be an artist? now follow me on this.

the chair your sitting in, the car you drive, the computer your at, almost everything you interact with and touch use or do anything with was created designed and built by an/team of artists.

people think that artists can't do anything with their life. i don't understand it. why is it that because they can't be a sports star i can't be an artist? honestly its pathetic.

why can't i be a fashion designer? without people thinking I'm gay.
i hate society, people as a whole are stupid uninteligent animals.

who knows maybe 2012 will come around and we'll all get flooded and float around on city's on rafts looking for an island tattoo or something. i never watched that show all the way its kinda lame.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/25786723/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/25786723/ Tue, 07 Jul 2009 00:30:32 PDT
it sucks because her cousin and her BF are all lovey and we just met so i don't know what to do. while at the movie their cuddling and she lays on his lap and all this well i can't even put my arm around tess. i try acting like them but i ended up coming off to strong. meh

we go out again but just us two, go to chili's and petco she say's my rooms bland and doesn't like my little 'toys' (god i hate that) so after she leaves i bought some posters from DA after media play didn't have anything and neither did hastings. (off topic train, does that pink floyd poster of the naked lady's sell that well that they have to have it in every store in 5 sizes?) and i put all my models away the best i could. i was gonna do this anyway since i start school soon but ya.

couple days later texting on and off she say's she just wants to be friends, and she's hanging out with these other guys she's knowen for a while. she say's she still likes me but she doesn't want to date anybody right now. i try to see her but when she gets off work she's to tired and it takes a fucking crowbar to get her to go anywhere. she said she had fun but i guess not.

so i bought a bunch of cloths the day before she said she just wanted to be friends to try and impress her. i'm now about 250 in the hole and i'm pissed as hell becauase i can't do anything right.

i had another girl over and i basicly got the same thing. i'd knowen her for a while but when i took her home she said i might be her 'exception' to what she usually dates and that there's a chance. and then she starts talking about this other guy she wants to fuck so thats the end of her.

honestly i didn't think painting models was that wierd or that being an artist ment you wheren't worth dating but who knows.

i got lasik done, i'm gonna have to start working out. maybe buy a motorcycle and blow something up then i'll be able to get a fucking date.

god now i know why lisa left me.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/25630169/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/25630169/ Mon, 29 Jun 2009 13:29:49 PDT
so ya, that, 3 chimera's, a bunch of guard stuff. i lied.

anyway the Ard boyz tourny is the saturday of th 11th. i don't think i'll win but its my last tourny and last chance to play 40k for a long long time.

so i'm going to be trying my wacom tablet now. i'll post up my inquisitor to replace my marshel but I don't think i'll be painting much soon. i want to learn to use a wacom tablet. but the bar stool i have is to damn tall so i need to put my laptop on a box so its level while i draw.

but yay lasik! and face book, a lot of people i use to know are starting to talk to me again. i miss all those cute smiles of brittin, amanda, isabelle, and wouldn't you know it they grew up pretty! lol i know i don't have a chance in hell with any of em otherwise i wouldn't put that up here but the guys their with are very lucky indeed <33

also i saw national lampoon: the rise of Taj, i freakin love that show.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/24952900/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/24952900/ Mon, 25 May 2009 23:10:16 PDT
now why this matters i don't know, but as most things i'm very confused myself after what i see. why i don't respond or comment on most things until after a bit.

but anyway, the valk, was the last straw. i'm done with 40k. 5th ed is ruining the game, the models are becoming unplayable, and its just stupid.

so i'm painting these things so i can store them without guilt for the price.

anyway, i've decided i'm crazy. or more realized it. i'm more at home alone with a brush thinking why i'm thinking about thinking then i am talking to someone about why i haven't seen star wars or why i don't care.

i don't like it, this understanding people need of each other. what are we afraid of? hell i don't know i'm just another deviant.

but anyway i think i'm done playing 40k, i'm moving out soon, i'll be boxing up my models and leaving them with my dad in the garage's storage in the roof.

expect to see photo's soon, some, wierd, photo's soon.

if artists are the interpriters of reality to the mass's,
if artista are the interpriters of fantasy to the mass's,

lets show the what the nerve's do when given freedom.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/23747252/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/23747252/ Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:39:03 PDT
but thats the point right? to make the one part of our body's that we can understand and strip mine it for a certain talent.

what does that make us? what are artists? well i saw we're just figments of the intelectuals imagination because their all crazy.

but really i've come to decide that as someone thats more interested in what color something is as oposed to how it works. i think that an artists is someone that uses their body to carry their heart, and to interprete whats around us to it.

when an singer writes a song they want to make people feal something. music has little to no function outside of entertainment. that leads me to wonder, whats the value of joy?

you can go to school for years to be a lawyer because people will always fight so its job security, you can be a doctor because people will always get sick, or if thats to much school find a job working at a business or starting your own.

what reasurance do you get from making people happy? theres no job security being a writer, being a stand up comedian, being an artist.

but i'm rambling.

i beleive that art is enegry, beauty can't be created or destroyed just redirected and captured, just legected and lost. artists find this energy through the world and internalize it, redirecting it in a way that other people can apreciate it.

artists are a conductor of a current, art is not created its found.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/22818807/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/22818807/ Mon, 26 Jan 2009 08:10:28 PST
as far as why am i suicidal? its not becausei can't date, hell i've been on 3 dates in the last 2 weeks with 3 different girls. their all great and i have more coming but its just not the same. i know things happened and i can't change that, but it was my fault for not supporting her more.

i think about her every day, from when i wake up till i fall asleep and its been a year! this time last year she was cruising myspace looking for a new boyfriend while i was trying to fix our relationship. it kills me that i didn't see it coming and if i had a second chance it would be different but she's not single anymore.

so i work on becoming an emt and try to not think about all the time i wasted trying to save us while she was getting ahead. if i remember right she moved out and i'm still living at home. she has a full time job, i'm still in college, and she still has her friends and her boyfriend that she said "I love him" after they'd been dating a week...

i don't know this ment to be a i'm doing a lot better, i'm able to eat every day now and i'm on medication that's suppose to kick in in about a week. i'm getting alergy shots so i can be outside in the spring and saving up for lasik. thats the big one, i need to get lasik because i'm never going to find someone that'll love me with these damn glasses.

i'm in college getting my EMT certificate, i want to become a paramedic but i missed the sign up date for an important class because i didn't jump through the hoops in the right order. honestly the only way weber states set up could be less intuitive is if you put your monitor at the bottom of a fucking well. i have a loan but i can't find the fucking thing, because of it i missed the sign up day for a class by 1 day, and it fucked me over for a year!!

i'm probobally just going to get some bs art degree while i kill time. the good news is i found a place called americore. Americore gets a grant everyear and if you help different places around the community and they help pay of your college loans.

you know what really pisses me off? god forbid i get a regular fucking lone to pay for this.

so yeah, i'm back to seeing a shrink, i'm still feal alone no matter how many dates i go on, and college is a pain in the ass.

but honestly it could be worse, i'm glad i have something. my friends don't date at all and here i am with more girls then i can shake a stick at. I'm in college so i'm set back but i'll be better for it.

i've survived so far, honestly if it wasn't for my sister, my mom, and everyone else, i wouldn't be here right now. every day i wished no one wanted me so i could do it without someone else dying, but i guess someday i'll be glad i'm alive.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/22321439/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/22321439/ Thu, 01 Jan 2009 00:41:13 PST
everything is a medium, from a brush to a bullet. for example one of the jokers popular lines

"look what i was able to do to this city with a few sticks of dynamite and a couple of bullets?"

however the oposite is also true, how many random crimes are there? how many times do people have to die before we step up?

choose your medium, choose your tools, spread the word that love is made not given.

the economy is in the shitter, the worlds gone to hell. invest in the only asset that will last, invest in yourself, in your family.

happy new year, my resolution?

master myself, master my heart, and master my body. not by 2010, but work on it, till i no longer have these to learn and use.

-Seth

crimanals can't pray on the weak, if we're all strong.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/21863167/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/21863167/ Sun, 07 Dec 2008 10:52:02 PST
so i'm putting this into a journal for psych reasons and so i can remember it.

i remember walking down some stairs and there was a girls bathroom, however everyone was going in so i went to see what it was all about. once i got in there was a hallway with rows of sinks and mirrors on either side, one mirror for each sink, and i saw becky, caitlyn, and some other girls i didn't see their faces.

at this point becky grabs me and starts hanging off me like i'm her boyfriend. I'm utterly confused and she's tipsy so i just go with it. then lisa shows up.

lisa ask's me "what the hell are you doing here?" i just look at becky and she sighs in discust and says something but i can't remember. She then goes over out of the hallway to a showerstall on the wall lined up the same way as the sinks are but on the left side is an open room with another tiled hallway.

as this happens a large group of people come in and go over to the tiled hallway in the other end, lisa's shower has started, and i overhear something about a death penalty. indistinctly i can hear someone talking about what the man did and i'm not paying attnetion. by this time i'm sitting outside lisa's shower in swiming shorts (i don't know why)and two big black cop guys come over and try to stir up conversation about whats going on. i brush them off and they leave.

i can hear crying, screaming and the lights and arc's of electricity as the man is electricuted to death. afterwards there is a round of aplause and a cheeer, the people then leave.

lisa's well into her shower by now and some other guy shows up and try's to use it. I tell him its ocupied and to wait, he has his cloth's towel and a carton of eggs.

the shower is a little higher so i sit on a tiled ledge and wait for her, i told her she might want to hurry because this guy seamed impatient. she'd calmed down by now and said okay just don't peek. i sat back down directly bloking the stall door and i hear a nock and get up to hand her her towl and let her out. she dropps her things that where in a little grocery sack and they get mixed in with the other guys. I see this and quickly try to organize them out so she isn't stuck there in a towel with this guy. he flirts with her as she gets out.

she goes into another room, this one isn't in the bathroom part but still in the same place, to get dressed. by now everyone was gone including the guy. lisa looked up at me and asked why i was here, i said i missed her and we talked about what had happened and what i'd done wrong.

i apologized to her and she understood what i'd gone through, truly understood rather then just saying it. she cried and said she was sorry and that she still loved me too. at that point she went to hug me and we just sat down togethor with her in my arms. we sat that way for a long time then laura (cleaning lady from harmons...) looked at us like we where doing something we shouldn't. i then looked into the room where lisa had changed and realized that i was suppose to be at work 40 minutes ago (it was 3:61, i know its not a real time) and she started to cry again not wanting me to leave, that if i did there was no coming back.

i woke up to my phone ringin, and the (censored) tellamarkater called again....


i also found out i have food alergies,

wheat, tomato, potato, green beans, nuts, beef, milk, anything dairy, and the list goes on and on.

May 17, 2007, i was on top of the world and nothing could bring me down. now i realize what i really am, i've lost the girl that callled me her edward (twilight), that i risked my life to be with. and my depression drove us apart. and before you say she's not good enough for you then, she is amazing and if i was a cowboy we'd still be togethor....

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/21776760/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/21776760/ Tue, 02 Dec 2008 00:36:34 PST
I've started painting to my full ability with my eldar army, i forgot how good i was. I understand an artist is only as good as his canvas and painting space marines left a bad taste in my mouth.

also I've started drawing with pencil and paper again, to the full of my ability. it feels good to put a pencil in my hand again, hell it feals good to feal again.

my artistic ability is coming back in all area's, my models, my drawings, and my guitar.

every year as the air gets colder, my heart warms at the idea of true love for each other and humanity. all around me i see the careing of others and my effort doesn't seam so small anymore.

also for some reason every winter i seam to find a new love. howeve I hestitate to say i'm in love, Erica is a sweetheart and i care a lot about her. lol however i'm not the only one thats noticed her. Another person at my work is trying his damndest to get her to like him but I've already won her over. at least i hope.

so my ability to draw is back, so is my painter's hand. my art though is not the best, or the most widely known, it is my heart and soul. now that their back to being fixed i'll be able to create again. one day i hope to find the beautiful girl from my drawings, who my love won't go unapreciated, and my warmth returned.

I'm not a bad person, i like to think thats true. and either i'm exactly like my father and lying to myself, or rather, I'll learn to truly love myself and her. whoever she is, where ever she is, i love her, and i hope that i'll be worth your love when we meet.

I met someone at my local shop who is a profeshional painter. I'm hopeing that i can learn from him. This Christmas all i want is paint and a stand for my guitar.



here's hopeing that love is enough to get through life.
-Seth
is back.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/21367071/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/21367071/ Fri, 07 Nov 2008 02:47:19 PST
i'm going to start plugging away at work and school now. next thing i'm going to do is get an i-pod so i can excersize more often.

you'll see more of my digital art as i do different designs for [link] if you haven't already and your a fan of the 41st world you gotta check it out.

i'm going to start looking into colleges where i can get a degree in graphic design. I've been drawing all my life, i want to make something of myself. I'd say i want to paint the town red with love, but thats to corny even for me.

I'm hoping that i'll be able to go up to my dads and learn how to take care of the horses and how to fix my car. my dad know's alot even if his love isn't wrapped up in any 'charm' he's still my dad, and past or not i love him.

listen to some blues, it'll do the soul good.

[link]

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/20939124/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/20939124/ Sat, 11 Oct 2008 15:07:34 PDT
The real reason I'm updating my journal is my dream last night. I was with my ex lisa again, after all the wierd stuff that happens in dreams (her dad allmost crushed my head with a tractor blade) we talked all night and we both said we we're sorry and held eachother untill the sun came up.

when I actually came to I layed in bed praying to fall asleep again but couldn't. it was around 3:40 i finally gave up and got out of bed. this girl is haunting me, I stay up till 3-4am just so when I fall asleep i don't lay in bed thinking about her. I think of here everyday, everywhere I go. I've dated other girls, I've even had other girlfriends since her but I can't let go.

The last time I talked to her she said she hated me and that if I ever talk to here again she'd get a restraining order. From the girl that said she wanted to marry me. she said she'll have the same phone for the next two years though so i don't know what to make of it.

she has some new guy she's all but in love with. Justin is the "good cowboy I've been looking for," and she has 4 other guys chasing after her also but she just toys with them. I haven't talked to her in months, and it'll be a year this january that we've been broken up.

my paperwork for the military isn't coming through, it feals like it never will. I'm bidding my time untill I either go officially crazy and get locked up or die.

I don't date, I'm tired of being cheated on or getting my hopes up. Because of this the whole true love BS has gone out the window for me. she's the only person that ever made me feal loved, and she's the only person that has ever hurt me so badly I'd rather kill myself then live with it.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/19908534/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/19908534/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 01:58:00 PDT
so I'm doing what I want to, I'm going to do that a lot more now.

I'm joining the guard soon I don't know what I'm going to do but I need to move forward in my life. I'm selling all my old stuff (anime and 40k stuff) and thats all I have!! shit its like I never grew up I just clung to what I had. so its time to kick start my life, I'm looking at 13-foxtrot and a special forces medic. foxtrot directs artillery fire which is whatI'm going to enlist as but their making a lot of the artillery jobs into Millitary Police. if that happens I'll switch to special forces medic. if I do end up as a special forces medic I'm going to come back and be a volunteer firefighter while I go to school. I want to be able to help people, I'm very soft hearted and if someone died and I didn't know how to save them it would tear me apart.

shinedown is the shit. wish me luck in the guard. I got 9 weeks of kick my ass basic training. but when I come back I'll be a different person.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/19908532/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/19908532/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 01:57:37 PDT
]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/19546881/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/19546881/ Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:46:25 PDT
I bought photoshop today so I'll be able to make some real pictures of my own. I'll probobally practice coloring a bit but I'll get my own work up soon.

college sucks, fighting suicide again, I'll be okay.

damn it why are wemon so complicated?

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/19400468/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/19400468/ Mon, 14 Jul 2008 22:57:41 PDT
I now have a total of 7 wallscrolls from evangelion and 3 posters. I have 11 more posters in the mail. asuka is awsome I don't care what you say. funny thing is I just realized that their only of asuka, rei, and misato, once I get the other 11 posters the majority of the cast will be in. i also got my paintball 'splat master' marker, aka paint pistol. its sinle cock to fire but I'm going to put a red dot sight on it so I can be more accurate (hopefully) I also have 2 squads of infantry from pig iron productions in the mail for my witch hunter army.

I picked up 5th edition, if you can, get the bolter ammo tin. its f**kin sweet. the templates are cool, but the markers are pretty worthless unless you can't remember the turn before then, well, yeah...

I'm building a knight paladin out of a defiler and some spare parts around the house. its turning out great and i'll have pictures up after I find my cord.

college sucks, its hard as hell, but I'll make it. on that note... girls are confuzing as hell. my last gf didn't give me a real reason for ending our 2 year relationship, my next we driffted but when I talked to her again she said she'd like to but doesn't have the time.
maybe i'm just not attrative, what is that quality i can use to stand out? i'm not average but how do I show it is my problem.

thinking of studying tae kwan do, not for the martial art but about finding balance and learning to control my anger.

on that note I saw my step dads .45 pistol. I"ve never been scared of a gun before even if it's pointed at me, but knowing where I was, and how often my thoughts turn that way, I almost started to shake in fear of myself.

so on that happy note, I read a quote that said "America give me bread!" and she said "what will you do to desserve it?"

made me think of how I feal.
"Someone please love me!"
"why do you desserve to be love?"

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/19012159/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/19012159/ Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:27:15 PDT
mwhahaha what I've been doing
-bought a stock for my paintball gun (now its been used)
-got some green stuff (kneadadite) and I've been experimenting with molds.
-filled up my gas tank, half a tank was $36, holy shit.
-got a new land land speeder for my army

I've been experimenting with molds because I wanted to make a cast of some of the parts that where missing from one of my model sets that I can't order or get anywhere. and GW's legal team can bite me. so far I've gotten high off melted plastic fumes and I'm lookin' for an easier way to do this. however I did successfully cast a Forge world Skull. because of legal things I won't post how I did it because I'm doing it for conversion, not to cheat gw out of money.

I started college up at weber state last week, my English teacher was the lead singer from killowat and has very effectively got my attention. he explains why we are doing what we are doing. and thats all I ever asked of any teacher (god why is it so hard to f***ing tell me why this Sh*t matters?!)

oh and I found Photoshop at our school for cheap. I'm going to buy it after I do some maintanence on my car and I have some savings built back up. between that and a wacom tablet I won't have to worry about a camera so much.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/18739558/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/18739558/ Sun, 08 Jun 2008 22:39:06 PDT
I'm depresed (go figure) however they don't know if the depression is caused by the add and social anxiety disorder, or if its hereditary. because of my depression though drawing is difficult. its hard just to do basic things and I barely have the energy to go to work.

on the psych side of things, I'm extremly lonely. I've never needed a hug or better yet a kiss more in my life. I don't have any friends down here so I can't talk to anyone about it. I use myspace sometimes to chat with people and try to find ways to start conversations.

If this sounds wierd this is how it is for me. I'm always tired, even if I sleep all night or not at all, talking to anyone makes me nervouse I'm not comftorable around anyone. evenn people in my family like my mom and dad. today my friend from work came over and we talked for a bit, but they don't understand. very few people know and I want to keep it that way.

sometimes I still wish I was dead. I'm holding up my mom, taking care of the apartment while her and my step dad trash it every other day. I can't talk to anyone and this shrink feals like a hired friend. I know why she left me now, I hate myself too.

on another note, my armys going to be Black templars for the campaign down here. I lost my marine codex. its going to be different but I'm fighting four eldar players and I know their codex front to back so it won't be hard.

I'm getting a paintball gun tomorrow, maybe I can prove my worth to them and be able to be social there and make friends. I dont know... god I wish someone loved me. but i'm still fighting.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/18415263/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/18415263/ Tue, 20 May 2008 13:09:32 PDT
My parents are getting divorced officially now. Because of this I am no longer able to work at blue table... was only able to build a tyranid army (carnifex 3hunters 16gaunts 13hormogaunts 3 rippers 16genestealers.) but I hope that one day I"ll be able to go back if they have room for me in the studio. in the mean time I'll be studying art and doing other, art, stuff...

in 40k news rumors abound,

I've been working on my new Eldar Farseer liskway.

its a complete conversion. I'm sculpting the robes most of the head and all the details etc. basically I took a guardian, put it on some high elf legs and went from there. it looks a lot better then you might think from that description.


Got another comment on youtube from one of my how to videos (score!) I'll post the links to this journal when I get home.

[link]
[link]

I won't spoil it for you but I hate the ending in a farewell to arms.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/18328577/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/18328577/ Wed, 14 May 2008 21:51:43 PDT
I had an interview with Shawn at blue table painting (www.bluetablepainting.com) and I'm trying to work on his staff as an artist. if things go the way I hope I'll move down there work till January and start at BYU. but of course thats if things go the way I hope.

some cool web sites you should check out if you haven't

[link] blue table
[link] 40k radio
[link] turn signals on a landraider

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/17639361/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/17639361/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:55:45 PDT
I have 2 predators that are completly magnetic and (almost)every upgrade can be swaped out. unfourtionetly one of them kind of.. well.... morphed in front of the heater just now so one side sponson sits kinda... okay it just hangs there.

however my new army has very heavy but minor conversions and are not vanilla marines even though their white. I've wanted to do a white marine army for a long time but because I played templar never got the chance.

coming soon
=magnatized predators WIP
=upgraded melta gun (strength 8 needs to look a little tougher)
=conversions on seargents
=and my new comander conversion

also I might add my terminator apothicary I made a while ago. depends on if its wanted.

I'im working on maya 8 now. now that I no longer have a gf that treats me like shit I can be excited to create again. sucks though cause I still love and miss her. anyway more art less drama!

got alove life
-Seth

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/17477814/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/17477814/ Sun, 23 Mar 2008 15:49:23 PDT
also I totalled my car. so yeah.

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/17001789/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/17001789/ Thu, 21 Feb 2008 23:25:20 PST
Gateway FX NVIDIA Geforce 8800GTS graphics with 512MB descrete video memory provides realistic 3d effects

3GB memory and intel core 2 Duo Processor t5450 for "blazing fast response and seamless gaming action"

and I can hook it up to my tv. thats what the sticker on my keyboard says anyway. all I know is its strong enough to run my college programs. I have the maya learning edition and I'm going to learn how to use it soon.

want it? [link] go to the media link and on the right you'll find learning edition. but they put watermarks and you can't export as far as I know.

soon I'll get photoshop. I ran into a curb burried in the snow and had to fix my car. give me a few paychecks and I'll have a gallery.

good luck,

to know your loved,
-Seth

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/12987625/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/12987625/ Thu, 17 May 2007 09:10:23 PDT

I'm working on getting photoshop and doing some drawing's. I recently picked up some spiderman comics and I'm using them as reference for anatomy and the like. so expect to see some spidey pictures up soon from the clone saga!

I bought a wallscroll of rikku from FFX and a FFVIII hat. looking into getting some posters and wallscrols from evangelion. I'm just a nerd like that and I'm sick of my walls being nuthing but flat plain white!

my first watcher!! xD

]]> ~wash-away http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/12847114/ http://wash-away.deviantart.com/journal/12847114/ Sat, 05 May 2007 01:13:35 PDT
I've been super busy on a poster for a local store and just finished it this week. it's to big for my scanner plus it's pastels so it wouldn't work anyway. I'm going to work on a picture that I want to make into a print before I get out of school this summer. I don't have photoshop and I"m not a computer wiz or around them enough to know how to work GIMP and PAINT.net.

this summer I'm going to try to take a class on photoshop and see if I can't save enough money to buy the program.

I"m more of a cartoonist then anything else, but if I can get my style the way it is in my head then it won't be so much. I'm just starting to really work hard on these.

the love of my short life is Lisa, she inspires all (well most) of my art. she's to wonderfull not to inspire! I've drawn some picture's of her but the final was sent into our schools art contest and well I never got it back.

I"m going to work as hard as I can to get some good prints up. and by the way my scraps are nothing compared to what I can do. I just like to work big and have a small scanner!

]]> ~wash-away