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        <title>deviantART: by:welzi</title>
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        <pubDate>Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:55:17 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>Going... going... gone.</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/22824598/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/22824598/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 26 Jan 2009 13:55:31 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Too many false starts, the account was never really every going to get going again, I'm going for a fresh start over at <a href="http://staticastheclouds.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/s/t/staticastheclouds.png?1" width="50" height="50" alt=":iconstaticastheclouds:" title="staticastheclouds"/></a> Check it out!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I'm not dead.</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/17335144/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/17335144/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:16:57 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Contrary to appearances I am actually still active on deviantART and check the site almost every day. I'm mainly only active in the forums and browsing other peoples work but most of the people I watched or who watched have become inactive.<br />   I've been really lazy lately when it comes to writing myself partly because I've been really busy with university work but I think it's more that I've become disillusioned with the sort of poetry I used to write. I've moved along way with my inspirations since I last wrote; my hobbies music and reading interests have changes so much that I can't imagine ever wanting to write the sort of dull angst ridden detritus again. I've got two weeks off now for "non-denominational-springtime" celebrations where I'll have some semi-free time, hopefully I can motivate myself into writing some new material although obviously I'll be a bit rusty and under-practised.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/11537026/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/11537026/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 23 Jan 2007 03:13:44 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ The other night I dreamt that I was a paranoid schizophrenic and I was found sat at the curb side holding onto my stuffed rabbit.  I was taken into custody for my own safety and they ran blood and alcohol tests to try to determine what was wrong with me, they found traces of medicine in my blood and called a doctor. The doctor examined me and concluded that I must not have taken the medicine for a few days leading to me having such an episode. I was put into a cell until someone could be found to escort me home, bring my medicine and explain the situation to me (I didn't trust the police, I felt that they were trying to trick me into confessing something). The whole time I was clinging onto my rabbit and scared out of my senses, but when I woke up, rather than feeling relieved, I felt disappointed - at least that would have explained a few things.<br />
<br />
Right now I'm confused, to steal a phrase from Douglas Adams, about Life, The Universe and Everything.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>A Return.</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/10601833/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/10601833/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 03 Nov 2006 08:56:50 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So much has changed for since I opened this dA account. It almost doesn't feel like mine any more; I'm no longer Welzi, I'm Ian, Welzi was an old nickname of mine I don't use any more - I was thinking of opening a new account but I think I've decided to stay with this one.<br />
I've not written anything for over a year now; to be honest a while ago it descended past writers block and more into laziness, but I'm making a conscious effort to start again. I've started a forum thread in the thumbshare forum ( <a href="http://forum.deviantart.com/devart/thumbs/742357/">[link]</a> ) in the hope of gaining some inspiration from those around here. I have the idea for a sci-fi novel(la I keep telling myself it could be a novel, but then reminding myself of my previous attempts). I've not actually put anything on paper yet, but I'm hoping if I can just push myself into starting it then I'll be able to take it from there.<br />
Hopefully you should be seeing something new from me sooner rather than later.<br />
-Ian<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Dead</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/9714545/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/9714545/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 13 Aug 2006 14:58:11 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ My account has been dormant for over a year now. I intend to rectify this as soon as possible.<br />
<br />
For every evil act, there is a good one, don't despair of mankind just yet.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Days full of cherry wine, telling you something about yourself<br />
That someone could have just told you if they were honest, like cherry wine<br />
It brings you clarity and brings you spite and everything but what you really want<br />
And you're my cherry wine telling me something about myself I really don't want to know<br />
Why not drown me in this state of discontent?<br />
<br />
Why Not Drown Me?</i> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I'm In Love...</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/7516802/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/7516802/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 05 Jan 2006 11:25:07 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ ..with Thumper!! <br />
It's a little late, but Happy New Year to Everyone!<br />
 <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/p/party.gif" width="50" height="20" alt=":party:" title="Party" /><br />
<br />
--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> K  <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smooch.gif" width="35" height="16" alt=":smooch:" title="Smooooch!" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Return of Zee Deveel!</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/6587487/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/6587487/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 24 Sep 2005 05:52:21 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <img src="http://www.denness.net/scrobblersig/username/iamthebackuplan.png" alt="Now Playing" /><br /><br />I know I've talked of not writting and even thought of leaving the site, which is my explaination for my inactivity. BUT! I have something exciting in mind, I've been toying it over for two days and I'm at the stage where I am ready to spill it all forth to paper. I don't want to say any more because I don't know when I will have anything to show and also because, without wanting to sound egotystical, I hope it will blow you away.<br />
<br />
Sit tight. <br />
<br />
<br />
//Ian<br />
<i>[Oh! But I'm So Small, I Can Bearly Be Seen! How Can This Great Love Be Inside Me?]</i><br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Always &amp; Never</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/6485365/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/6485365/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 12 Sep 2005 12:42:25 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Indifference grows, Indifference feeds on me<br />
<br />
Razor blades can make lines on just about anything.<br />
<br />
<br />
And I know I need your comfort, but this drama makes me sick<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I can't believe everyone knew from the start, this would come back to haunt me<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Goodbye, goodnight; you'll call it fate, I'll call it Karma<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Waking up with vacant eyes and broken hearts again<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Life goes on, life goes on; it's getting too late, tomorrow is here.<br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Level Up!</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/6455795/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/6455795/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 09 Sep 2005 02:25:51 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Ian has gained a level! <br />
Ian is now age +1<br />
Ian's age is now 19!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Ian is the biggest fucking geek imaginable.<br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/6276363/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/6276363/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 20 Aug 2005 02:43:58 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I've not written for nearly 3 months. I'm not sure if I'm likely to start again.<br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Singing Nonsense On The Streets Of Rome</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/6157559/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/6157559/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 07 Aug 2005 09:41:47 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <img src="http://www.denness.net/scrobblersig/username/iamthebackuplan.png" alt="Now Playing" /><br /><br /><strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/r/redface.gif" alt="Haphazard" title="Haphazard" /> Beating<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: Bill Bryson - A Short History of Nealy Everything<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: Monty Pyton - *<br /><br /><div align="center"><br />
<br />
<br />
you are the fire, on my apartment floor<br />
sixteen stories, i'd rather burn than fall<br />
it isn't fate, that took us all by storm<br />
it's just the turn of the card<br />
<br />
goodbye old friend<br />
goodbye goodnight<br />
i'll move on<br />
you'll it fate, i'll call it karma<br />
we had our time, it was fun<br />
while it lasted<br />
<br />
i'll look back, with honor<br />
and no regrets<br />
i won't be mad, won't feel bad<br />
this memories will never leave me<br />
don't be sad<br />
cause life goes on, life goes on<br />
it's getting too late<br />
tomorrow is here<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Days full of cherry wine, telling you something about yourself<br />
That someone could have just told you if they were honest, like cherry wine<br />
It brings you clarity and brings you spite and everything but what you really want<br />
And you're my cherry wine telling me something about myself I really don't want to know<br />
Why not drown me in this state of discontent?<br />
<br />
Why Not Drown Me?<br />
<br />
</div><br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Modesty</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/6011244/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/6011244/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 23 Jul 2005 08:18:32 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <img src="http://www.denness.net/scrobblersig/username/iamthebackuplan.png" alt="Now Playing" /><br /><br /><strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/l/lonely.gif" alt="Lonely" title="Lonely" /> Musing<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: Valerio Massimo Manfredi - Spartan<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: Alien Quadrilogy<br /><br /><div align="center"><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Here we go<br />
down that same old road again<br />
Empathy controls the wind that blows<br />
and tickles our skin <br />
<br />
A memory, a regret, a hope, a stimulant <br />
<br />
Recent it seems<br />
We must push on<br />
Though we bleed<br />
We must push on... <br />
<br />
All you need is a modest house in a modest neighborhood<br />
in a modest town where honest people dwell<br />
Making the cleanest energy<br />
for the greenest plants to grow<br />
in the richest soil that is drenched with the freshest rain<br />
Then you should sit in your backyard,<br />
watch clouds peak over the tallest mountain tops<br />
because they unveil honest opinions about the stars <br />
<br />
</div><br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I'm The Fall Guy, That's My Name</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5673080/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5673080/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 17 Jun 2005 03:25:30 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <img src="http://www.denness.net/scrobblersig/username/iamthebackuplan.png" alt="Now Playing" /><br /><br /><strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/c/cow.gif" alt="Moo" title="Moo" /> Melted<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: Kate Atkinson - Case Histories<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: the world go by<br /><br />I yearn for the country but float in the ocean.<br />
As a sea-going captain, I shall die far from home.<br />
<br />
<br />
Imagine that the present is simply a reflection of the future. Imagine that we spend our whole lives staring into a mirror with the future at our backs, seeing it only in the reflection of what is here and now. Some of us would begin to believe that we could see tomorrow better by turning around to look directly at it. But those who did, without realising it, would've lost the key to the perspective they once had.For the one thing they would never be able to see it in was themselves. By turning their backs on the mirror, they would become the one element of their future their eyes could never find.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
If we are indeed individual particals floating in a see of loneliness, then there is indeed a science to our solitude<br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I Lie To Myself</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5517617/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5517617/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 01 Jun 2005 02:19:50 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/n/number1.gif" alt="Enthusiastic" title="Enthusiastic" /> Melted<br /><strong>Listening to</strong>: Straylight Run - Now It's DOne<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: Dan Brown - Angels And Demons<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: the world go by<br /><br />And Say That It Was For The Best<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div align="center">The first time I saw a body bend that  way<br />
I realized that we're more beautiful  dead than alive<br />
Then, with bloodied flesh removed, your  rib cage ripped away<br />
And I saw why they say beauty comes  from the inside<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"If you shoot someone in the head with  a .45 every time you kill somebody, it  becomes like your fingerprint, see? But  if you strangle one,<br />
stab another, one you cut up, one you  don't, then the police don't know what  to do. They think you're 4 different  people. What they really<br />
like, what makes their job so much  easier, is pattern. What they call a  modus operandi. That's latin. Bet you  didn't know any latin, did ya<br />
otis?"<br />
<br />
"big fuckin deal."<br />
<br />
"What?"<br />
<br />
"Nothing."<br />
<br />
"It's like a trail of shit, otis. It's  like the blood droppings from a deer  you shot, and all they gotta do is  follow those droppings, and<br />
pretty soon, they're gonna find their  deer.<br />
<br />
"Why don't you use a gun?"<br />
<br />
"You can use a gun. I'm not saying you  can't use a gun. Just don't use the  same gun twice."<br />
<br />
Save me from this<br />
Love affair with broken hearts<br />
Before it's too late<br />
Save me or save yourself<br />
Love affair with broken hearts<br />
Before it's too late<br />
Me or save yourself</div><br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Design Me An Avatar. Get a 3 Month Sub</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5445915/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5445915/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 24 May 2005 07:45:34 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/n/number1.gif" alt="Enthusiastic" title="Enthusiastic" /> Melted<br /><strong>Listening to</strong>: Our Last Night - Message Without Meaning<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: Disorder And Rebellion In Tudor England<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: F1 - Monaco GP<br /><br />I've decided I need a new avatar and  since my artistic skill is virtually  nill I thought I would turn to you guys  with a higher level of compitance to do  the job for me.<br />
<br />
<b>Rules</b><br />
1. There are no rules.<br />
  Let your imagination run wild, I will  concider absolutly any entry regardless  of theme or content, below is a list of  my interests to give you an idea of  what I like, but do not limit youself  to this, as I have said any entry will  be concidered<br />
<br />
<b>Interests</b><br />
<u>Styles</u><br />
Renders<br />
Minimalistic<br />
Light<br />
"Grunge"<br />
Abstract<br />
<br />
Automotive (not "Ricers" however.  Nissan 350z/Mini(old)/VeeDub Camper =  fave cars)<br />
Music (Post Hardcore/all this modern  punk which is known as "Emo" even  though it isn't/Some of the screamier  stuff) (Main Love)<br />
Sports (Bmx/Skating/Inline/Snowboarding  etc)<br />
<br />
<br />
I prefer animated icons but can be just  as impressed by well-composed static  designs<br />
<br />
<b>Entry</b><br />
Please submit your entrances to dA and  then link me to them via a reply in  this thread (<a href="http://forum.deviantart.com/community/projects/427024/8255642">[link]</a>). Please do not  note me entries or post them on my page  as I am likely to loose them/forget  about them, which means there is less  chance of you winning.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Closing Date</b><br />
The competition will be open for a  week, so entrancies will close at 5pm  GMT on May 31st. I will likely make my  decision in the space of the evening so  the winner will be informed by 11pm GMT  of the same day. If for any reason I  have no access to the internet that day  the winner will be informed during  Wednesday 1st June.<br />
<br />
Good Luck.<br />
<br />
<u>Note</u> If I really like the design I may  offer another 3month sub for an ID in  the same style.<br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I Am Your Gracious Smile</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5426688/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5426688/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 22 May 2005 05:22:34 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/n/number1.gif" alt="Enthusiastic" title="Enthusiastic" /> Melted<br /><strong>Listening to</strong>: Waiting For Autumn - Forget Me Not<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: Disorder And Rebellion In Tudor England<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: F1 - Monaco GP<br /><br />I am not often prone to random  outbursts of happiness, if you see me  smile, usually it means I'm plotting  something maniacal but these recent  days have seen a very real rise in the  way if feel<br />
<br />
-maybe it's the fact that I think I'm  in love with Kirsty, I've known for a  long time that I love her, but being in  love is a very different thing but the  feeling I have for her that I can't  decipher doesn't feel like anything  I've ever felt before. I'm sure it will  only define itself in time<br />
<br />
-maybe it's that I stayed up until 2am  this morning watching a movie with my  dad, this wouldn't be anytning too  suprising if it were not for the fact  that me and my father did not talk for  eight years. The film Coupe De Ville,  about a family who hated eachother  coming together. Seems to fitting to be  irony.<br />
<br />
-maybe it's that I quit my job and now  do not have to put up with the bigot  who made my life hell for two weeks<br />
<br />
-maybe it's the weather and the May sun  shining beneath my blind<br />
<br />
/the most optomistic journal ever.<br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Please Come With Me..</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5374829/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5374829/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 16 May 2005 15:26:00 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/i/invisible.gif" alt="Invisible / Ignored" title="Invisible / Ignored" /> flabanug<br /><strong>Listening to</strong>: Boy's Night Out - Hold on Tightly, Let Go Lightly<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: These Words Have No Meaning<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: the stars<br /><br />For long walks on short piers.<br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k(arma) ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I Don't Care</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5291879/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5291879/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 07 May 2005 08:56:25 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/i/invisible.gif" alt="Invisible / Ignored" title="Invisible / Ignored" /> ROFD.<br /><strong>Listening to</strong>: A Second Chance - I Can Bearly Breath<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: These Words Have No Meaning<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: My life: The Falling Apart Years<br /><br />That You Don't Care<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
That I Just Hit My 8K<br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k(arma) ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Karma is Kicking My Ass</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5266177/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5266177/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 04 May 2005 15:08:33 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/i/invisible.gif" alt="Invisible / Ignored" title="Invisible / Ignored" /> ROFD.<br /><strong>Listening to</strong>: A Second Chance - I Can Bearly Breath<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: These Words Have No Meaning<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: My life: The Falling Apart Years<br /><br />Sometimes you just have to laugh at how  amusingly depressing life can be. You  have to laugh, because the other  alternatives are crying or blowing your  brains out.<br />
<br />
*running*<br />
*jump*<br />
*takes*<br />
<br />
I love karma, since I'm such an  asshole, we meet regularly.<br />
<br />
<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/p/pointandlaugh.gif" width="25" height="15" alt=":pointandlaugh:" title="Point and laugh" /> I'm a fucker.<br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k(arma) ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Two Plus Two Equals Math</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5235623/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5235623/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 01 May 2005 10:16:13 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/l/love.gif" alt="Loved" title="Loved" /> Alive<br /><strong>Listening to</strong>: Acceptance - Black Lines To Battlefields<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: James Herbert - Fluke<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: Hitch-Hikers Guide To The Galaxy<br /><br />My insides are on fire. A friend of  mine has been put away for five years  for something I am pretty much sure he  didn't do. He has lost his job, his  family and his house, If anyone fancies  coming on a collective Jury bopping  crawl feel free to contact me.<br />
*past*<br />
<br />
I saw Hitch-hickers Guide To The Galaxy  last night, it is the most fantastic  thing I have seen in a long long time,  it wasn't as good as I thought it could  be (they changed my favoutite scene:  the beggining where Ford confuses the  construction guy into lying infront of  his own digger) and parts of it dragged  abit, but the majority of it was  fantastically amusing, the "so long and  thanks for all the fish" song at the  beggining was classic and I think I am  in love with Marvin, I'm so glad he  ended up *spoiler* being the hero. <br />
<br />
*I Could Tell You Your Chances Of  Survival, But You Won't Like It*<br />
<br />
*Ford? -Yes? -I Think I'm A Sofa*<br />
<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/g/giggle.gif" width="17" height="15" alt=":giggle:" title="Giggle" /><br />
<br />
So far as I know, I'm going to see the  Amnityville Horror on Monday, I have  mixed feelings about it, I think it's a  really interesting concept, but I have  a feeling Hollywood could really screw  it up. They seem to have a bad habit of  doing that. Kirsty also wants to see  The Interpreter, which doesn't really  look like my thing, but at the same  time looks bearable.<br />
<br />
<br />
*hat tip*<br />
<div align="center"><img src="http://img151.echo.cx/img151/2373/marvinjournal6ms.gif" alt="Marvin Is God" /></div><br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>.:Loose Lips Sink Ships:.</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5006195/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/5006195/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 07 Apr 2005 09:00:53 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/l/love.gif" alt="Loved" title="Loved" /> Alive<br /><strong>Listening to</strong>: Animal Suit Drive-By - A Book Of Love Stories<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: Stephen King - The Stand<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: The Green Mile<br /><br />Back at school this week, I only have  seven weeks of school now, then a two  week break and then about a month or so  of exams, then freedom. I've mixed  feelings on leaving school; on one hand  I'm so ready to get out of there,  certain aspects of it bore the pants  off me, I want my summer and then I  want my full-time job. I'm going to  love working and actually having money  for a change. The not so good side, is  that all my friends are going away to  Uni at the end of the summer and I'll  probably be staying in Bradford, I wish  them all the luck in the world, but  it's going to be weird not having my  friends about. One of the better parts  about it is that one; maybe two, of my  friends are going to York which is only  an hours train ride away, so it would  be quite easy to go over and hopefully  not loose complete contact. I'm just  glad that Kirsty is going to Uni in  Bradford, I'd hate it if I ended up  loosing her because of something like  distance; I'd value an education, but I  value my relationships (just friends or  more) alot more. Personally, I decided  against going to Uni, I think I was  more than ready to leave an education  environment, it's also incredibly  expensive and I'd prefer to be earning  for the next ten years than be in debt  for them.<br />
<br />
I started work last night, tis pretty  damn good and rocks compaired to my old  job of washing pots for five hours  straight, I did a four hour shift and  still got a paid break of fiveteen  minutes. I'm only doing fourteen hours  a week, Mon, Wed, Fri evenings, but I  should be earning about £200 - £250 a  month, which isn't bad and should cover  me for the summer. First pay check is  going on a suit which I'll need for job  interviews in the summer and sooner, at  our school Prom in May. I'm actually  looking forwards to it for the first  time out of three, I've actually got a  *proper* date (me and K are going  better than I could have ever  imagined). <br />
<br />
<b>Playing At The Moment</b><br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletblue.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletblue:" title="Bullet; Blue" /> Samiam<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletblue.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletblue:" title="Bullet; Blue" /> Animal Suit Drive-By<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletblue.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletblue:" title="Bullet; Blue" /> The Sound Of Animals Fighting<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletblue.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletblue:" title="Bullet; Blue" /> New Found Glory<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletblue.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletblue:" title="Bullet; Blue" /> Bayside<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletblue.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletblue:" title="Bullet; Blue" /> The Honoury Title<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletblue.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletblue:" title="Bullet; Blue" /> Silverstein<br />
<br />
<br />
- ian<br />
<i>Out Of The Many Places, And All The  Million Faces, I Fell In Love With  Yours<br />
<br />
<br />
R.I.P Chris "Smit" Smith   '87 - '05</i><br /><br />--<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> k ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>things that make you go *BEEP*</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/4864009/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/4864009/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 20 Mar 2005 14:45:05 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/l/love.gif" alt="Loved" title="Loved" /> Relaxed<br /><strong>Listening to</strong>: Team Sleep - Appollonia<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: Ken Kasey - One Flew Over the Cuckcoos Nest<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: Family Guy (Season II)<br /><br />Things at the moment are going really  well. Me and K have been going steady  for just over three weeks now and  things between us are going really  well. All the bullshit flying around  about me and Charlotte has died down  now, and everyone seems cool with it,  which is better than having to explain  the same story to every single person.  I've also finally got me a job, as a  beep-man at a local supermarket, not  exactly going to be the most fun job in  the world, but I only have to do it  until summer and the pay is pretty  good. I don't start for two weeks,  which means I won't have a pay-day for  about six weeks, but when I do it  should be about £Two-Hunded+. <br />
<br />
This week and next is the holidays,  which is good, because it gives me time  to catch up with my School work, it's  my own fault I'm behind, because I've  been really slack these last few weeks,  but I intend on kicking my ass into  gear tomorrow morning and getting an  assignment or so out of the way. That  will help kill some time, I've also  decided that each day this holiday I'm  going to go out of the house and do  some exercise of some form, be it going  for a run, or cycling, or just a walk,  I figure it's better than just spending  all day in the house. I'm still going  to spend some time just lazing about,  probably playing CS:Source on the PC,  but more likely PGR II on the 'Box, I  just completed part of Arcade Mode on  expert difficulty, which I'm really  proud of, so  I want to get further on  it, since it is one of the best games  on earth.<br />
<br />
Socially, lately I've been going out  quite a bit, last night I went on an  almost mini-pub-crawl with K and two  friends. Although me, my friend Jonny  and K (obviously cos she was driving)  stayed sober (I only have 5shots worth  of Vodka) our friend Matt got a little  tipsy, so it was fun watching him make  an idiot of himself. I got in at about  eleven, so we'd had a good three hours  so out. It was probably a good job I  stayed sober really, since I met K's  mum again when K picked her up on the  way home and legless Ian would probably  not have been a good idea. Today me and  K just drove over the hills to Illkely,  which is about five-ten miles away, we  just wandered round for an hour or so,  went down by the river, skimed some  rocks, wandered back around and then  left after two hours or so, wasn't like  a grand trip out, but it was better  than just sitting about the house all  day.<br />
<br />
Think that just about covers everything  I have to say, so I'll just wish my  watch list a happy easter/whatever you  celebrate (incase I don't post an  up-dated journal before then)<br />
<br />
-Welzi<br />
<i>Would you believe me if I said I didn't  need you? 'Cos I wouldn't believe you  if you said the same to me</i><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Three Months Before The Swarm</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/4748124/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/4748124/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 07 Mar 2005 02:02:32 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <strong>Mood</strong>: <img style="vertical-align: middle" src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/l/love.gif" alt="Loved" title="Loved" /> Relaxed<br /><strong>Listening to</strong>: Halfwayhome - A Brand New Sub-devision<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: Ken Kasey - One Flew Over the Cuckcoos Nest<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: Office Space (AGAIN XD)<br /><br />All is good again, I am once more happy  with who I am, aside from the ribbing I  am getting from certain people, that I  can deal with, they don't know the  whole story anyways. Basically, what  has happened is that I have got back  together with an old ex girlfriend,  Kirsty, but because it happened so soon  after I told Charlotte that I didn't  want to be with her anymore, there are  various stories about how I split up  with Charlotte for K, which isnt true.  I admit it looks slightly bad, that it  was only a little over ten days after  leaving Charlotte that I got with K,  but neither of us planned it, its  just... happened. Also when we met a  week or so after I split from  Charlotte, it was the only real contact  we had with eachother in nearly  eighteen months, so it's not like we  were planning it behind Charlottes back  or anything. I'm sorry if it has hurt  Charlotte (although I'm told she has  found a date too, so all looks good),  but I am not sorry for it happening.<br />
<br />
Saturday was spent at Xscape, a big  multi-plex with  bowling/cinema/skating/snowboarding etc  for my friends 18th, it was a really  cool place (bar the fact that they  didnt let anyone under 18 in to most  places after 8pm, and some of our group  were still only 17.) It was still a  cool day though, it was great to be  able to spend a whole day with K, since  with her work and college and my sixth  form, we're not going to get go spend  many days with eachother. It was also  good to go out with some friend's who I  usually just associate myself with at  school (they're not my "going out  friends")<br />
<br />
<br />
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- <br />
<div align="center"><a href="http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/4741959/"><img src="http://www.imageweb.info/images/KIw89451.jpg" alt="A Little Bit Of Love" /></a></div><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>You People Are Love</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/4741959/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/4741959/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 06 Mar 2005 10:37:56 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <strong>Listening to</strong>: Hidden In Plain View - Life In Dreaming<br /><strong>Reading</strong>: Ken Kasey - One Flew Over the Cuckcoos Nest<br /><strong>Watching</strong>: Office Space (AGAIN XD)<br /><br />When I posted my little journal on my  recent breakdown I was humbled by the  amount of people who responded to it  with words of support, this is my thank  you to them.<br />
<br />
<b>*<a href="http://evyto.deviantart.com/">evyto</a></b><br />
<tt><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/13955306/"><img src="http://tn2.deviantart.com/100/fs5.deviantart.com/i/2005/009/4/2/Memories_from_the_past____by_evyto.jpg" width="80" height="100" alt="" /></a></span></span> <div align="center"><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/12516218/"><img src="http://tn2.deviantart.com/100/fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/326/3/3/Bridge_of_Dreams_by_evyto.jpg" width="72" height="100" alt="" /></a></span></span> </div><br />
Memories From The Past <div align="center">Bridge Dreams </div></tt><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>~<a href="http://cross-rocker.deviantart.com/">cross-rocker</a></b><br />
<tt><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/13174338/"><img src="http://tn7.deviantart.com/100/fs6.deviantart.com/i/2005/054/6/d/Arrow_Through_the_Heart_by_cross_rocker.jpg" width="100" height="75" alt="" /></a></span></span> <div align="center"><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/14562621/"><img src="http://tn7.deviantart.com/100/fs6.deviantart.com/i/2005/027/5/5/Magnifacent_View_by_cross_rocker.jpg" width="100" height="75" alt="" /></a></span></span> </div><br />
Arrow Through The Heart <div align="center">Magnificent View</div></tt> <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>~<a href="http://jewelsy.deviantart.com/">jewelsy</a></b><br />
<tt><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/12245552/"><img src="http://tn7.deviantart.com/100/fs5.deviantart.com/i/2004/317/5/1/A_Study_of_the_Heart_by_jewelsy.jpg" width="100" height="100" alt="" /></a></span></span> <div align="center"><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/2231883/"><img src="http://tn2.deviantart.com/100/fs6.deviantart.com/i/2005/063/2/a/Indistinguishable_Duplication_by_jewelsy.jpg" width="100" height="100" alt="" /></a></span></span> </div><br />
A Study Of The Heart <div align="center">Indistinguishable  Duplication</div></tt><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>~<a href="http://emotionlessriotgirl.deviantart.com/">emotionlessriotgirl</a></b><br />
<tt><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/15753285/"><img src="http://tn7.deviantart.com/100/fs6.deviantart.com/i/2005/063/f/7/Vicky_by_emotionlessriotgirl.jpg" width="100" height="75" alt="" /></a></span></span> <div align="center"><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/15754099/"><img src="http://tn3.deviantart.com/100/fs6.deviantart.com/i/2005/063/8/2/Meee_by_emotionlessriotgirl.jpg" width="100" height="75" alt="" /></a></span></span> </div><br />
Vicky <div align="center">Meee</div></tt><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>*<a href="http://montemplar.deviantart.com/">MonTemplar</a></b><br />
<tt><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/5330468/"><img src="http://tn8.deviantart.com/100/images2.deviantart.com/i/2004/08/e/b/Consumed_By_Envy.jpg" width="72" height="100" alt="" /></a></span></span> <div align="center"><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/5675938/"><img src="http://tn8.deviantart.com/100/images3.deviantart.com/i/2004/10/6/7/The_Sphere_Go_Boooom.jpg" width="100" height="100" alt="" /></a></span></span> </div><br />
Consumed By Envy<div align="center">The Sphere Go Boom</div></tt><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>~<a href="http://hollows.deviantart.com/">Hollows</a></b><br />
<tt><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/15714654/"><img src="http://tn3.deviantart.com/100/fs6.deviantart.com/i/2005/062/2/3/Peeking__Burning_Eyes_by_Hollows.jpg" width="100" height="96" alt="" /></a></span></span> <div align="center"><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/14482055/"><img src="http://tn3.deviantart.com/100/fs6.deviantart.com/i/2005/051/9/f/Senerity_by_Hollows.jpg" width="100" height="69" alt="" /></a></span></span> </div><br />
Peeking, Burning Eyes<div align="center">Senerity</div></tt><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>*<a href="http://karyaazure.deviantart.com/">karyaazure</a></b><br />
<tt><span class="shadow-holder"><span class="shadow"><a href="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/1052854... ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>FW: If you don't send this to 10,000 People..</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/2510793/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/2510793/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 26 May 2004 04:19:18 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ ...The Fires Of Hell Will Desend And  Rape You<br />
<br />
Another of the pointless fw's that I  got, that I filled out because I had  nothing better to do, and thought would  post in my journal, BECAUSE I CAN.<br />
<br />
1. Starting Time: 11 03 am <br />
2. Full Name:  Ian [I'll eat my own  penis before i tell you this] Wells<br />
3. Best Friend(s): i dont have any,  will you be my friend?<br />
4. Sexiest Friend:  my Imaginary friend  bob, nice pecs bob.<br />
5.Funniest Friend(s): depends on  alcohol levels, Bates sober, Chris  drunk.  <br />
6. Smartest Friends:  Sheridan, there  should be laws aginst being so smart <br />
7. Dumbest Person:  Naylor. 90% of the  time. <br />
8. Shyest Friend:  Muzzer <br />
9. Most boring person:   Mr Ram,  MONOTONE <br />
10. Who Do u Get Advice From?:weebl and  bob.<br />
11. Height: 5 9 ishish<br />
12. DOB: 9/9/86 <br />
13. Righty / Lefty : righty <br />
14. Eye color: blue <br />
15. Shoe Size : 9/10 <br />
16. Shoe Brand: C1rca <br />
17. Do u Crack any Body Parts: fingers,  toes, neck... penis.  <br />
Wtf happened to 18?<br />
19. Siblings:  none. <br />
20. Email address: don't have one.  <br />
21. Boy Friend/Girl Friend: yes <br />
22. Crush?: not really <br />
23. Liked a Teacher: who hasnt?  <br />
25. Ever laughed so hard you've peed in  your pants? maybe. <br />
26. Ate a Tub of Ice Cream: just one? <br />
27. Ran Into a Glass Door :  no, ran  into a wall though <br />
29. Gone Skinny Dipping : i wish. <br />
30. Gotten hit/nearly hit by a car? i  hit a car.  <br />
31. Ran into a parked car: Yup <br />
******Girls Fill Out About Guys******  Wtf, lets pretend i'm bi.<br />
35. Boxers or Briefs: boxers   <br />
36. Tall or Short :  short. migit  slave. <br />
37. Does size matter: hell yea<br />
38. Six-pak or Muscular Arm: arms  <br />
39. Body or Personality : body.<br />
40. Ear Pierced or Not : all over.<br />
41. Sporty or Outdoorsy : isnt that the  same thing?<br />
42. Good Guy or Bad Guy: bad... very  very bad.<br />
43. Light Hair/ Dark Hair: both... AT  THE SAME TIME!!!!<br />
******Guys Fill Out on girls****** <br />
47. g or hipster undies?: neither,  infact, i prefer it if they just walk  round in the nude. <br />
48. Tall or Short : i care not. <br />
49. Long Hair or Short : long is cool. <br />
50.Dark or Light Eyes: orange. <br />
51. Light/Dark Hair: dark plzkthnx <br />
52. Body or Personality: both? <br />
53. Ears Pierced or Not: pierced is  good. <br />
55. Good Girl/Bad Girl : good. <br />
56.Hair Up or Down: down <br />
57. Sporty or Classy: either <br />
58. Chicken or Not Afraid :  care-free... but she sould be afraid of  me, oh yes, be VERY afraid  <br />
******Which One is Better****** <br />
59. Coke or pepsi?: Coke, whatelse can  you actually miss-spell cock? <br />
60. K.F.C or Mcdonalds: neither, i  prefer my face not looking like a  volcanic planet <br />
61. Cats or Dogs : both. or a dog,  named cat... just to confuse it <br />
62. Coffee or Tea :  Coffee = Caffine,  Caffine = God. <br />
63. Southern or northern hemesphere?:  northern <br />
64. vanilla or chocolate:  why not  vanilla chocolate? <br />
65.cake or Cookies:  pie. <br />
66. Purple striped Lime socks or white  socks? Purple striped. why not?  <br />
67. Sunset or Sunrise?: sunset, Sunrise  generally means i have to do something  not too soon <br />
68.Day or Night:  night, easier to hide  in the ninja shadows ¬_¬ <br />
69. Lights on or off:  off, OMGZ I AM  TEH GOTH! <br />
70. Summer or Winter: summer... with  snow  <br />
*****Your favorite****** <br />
71. Food: Pie. <br />
74. radio Station : they all suck  equally, I'll go with Radio 1, just for  Lamaq's show  <br />
75. Place: Paris. <br />
******The Future**** <br />
76. Will you believe in God? doubt it.<br />
77. What you want to be when you grow  up?: Old. <br />
******Random Questions****** <br />
78. Define Love: a term made up by  insecure people who need to hold on to  who they have (**disclaimer: yes i am a  bitter fuck, BITE ME**) <br />
79. Where Were You Born?:  in a  hospital... <br />
80. Favorite Place To Be Kissed?: the  ass.  <br />
81. Favourite day(s) of the week:  Sunday <br />
82. Bedtime: when the big hand points  to the..... oh come on, how old do you  think i am? <br />
83. Who Is Least Likely To Send This  Back?:  no-one <br />
84.Satan or God or atheist: Atheist <br />
***more questions:*** <br />
85. do u love someone rite now? Love is  such a throw-away term<br />
86. do u care about someone?:   yes <br />
87. do u think of someone everyday?:  yup <br />
89. do u think someone is special in a  special way: yes...<br />
90.finishing time: 11 19.. what a waste  of time.<br />
<br />
Right, anyway... Journal-ness, right  now, I'm not bad, I'm still going out  with Charlotte, we've been the the  cinemas a few times, and others just  met up and hung out.<br />
<br />
Speak of the cinema, do NOT do see  Troy, that movie blows beyond compare.  They shouldn't have called it... ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Its all gone</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/2385346/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/2385346/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 08 May 2004 11:48:03 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ On a scale of 1 - 10 i am SO pissed off  right now. my computer DIED, without a  trace, everything GONE, i couldnt even  get back onto my hard drive to recover  anything, my RAM died, my hard-drive  gave me a siliconised middle finger  then fucked off, then the motherboard  just dropped everything and refused to  let me turn the computer on. after  about 6 different tries of ways to fix  it, i just thought, sod this for a game  of darts, and went out an bourght a new  one, <br />
<b>things lost in format so will not be  ssen in near future</b><br />
1. Website: Lost everything to do with  it, exapt whats uploaded, but all the  graphics and data is gone, so i need a  complete re-design.<br />
2. Prose I Was Working On: I only had  about 2 pages, but thats all gone now.<br />
now if you will excuse me, i have to go  download all the things i lost in the  tit-up, good night. ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I Swollowed A Kitten!</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/2062524/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/2062524/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 24 Mar 2004 14:22:49 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ No, I didn't, well, not to my  knowledge. Funny how things can  condecend from a simple title isn't it?<br />
Anyway, the only reason I'm updating  this thing is because.. well.<br />
a) I have too much spare time, and<br />
b) It doesn't look like I have  disappeared if I update this  every-so-often.<br />
...Ok then, so it's mainly a), but who  asked you to talk?<br />
<br />
So, I don't use this journal, as the  month and three quarters without update  seems to testify. The reason for that  is because i have a <a href="http://www.diaryland.com">Diaryland</a> journal,  which is <a href="http://welzi.diaryland.com">Here</a> if you are really want to  read it. Although it does get updated  about as often as I enjoy life, but if  you wanna read crap about my life,  there's a virtual sewage works there. <br />
<br />
Well, if I have that there, then it  poses the question, why are you reading  this paragraph of text? The obvious  answer is because I typed it, but then,  why did I type it? I'll tell you why  (because if I didn't not only would you  want to kick my as, if you don't  already, I would also have 2 hours  still to kill, before bed... I live a  life of excitement, no?). So, because I  completely lost where I was leading  that last sentance, what infact I am  going to do is my *drum roll*<br />
<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/spotlight-left.gif" width="23" height="22" alt=":spotlight-left:" title="Spotlight" /><b>Focus On Music</b><img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/spotlight-right.gif" width="23" height="22" alt=":spotlight-right:" title="Spotlight" /><br />
<br />
...basically, all I am going to do is  list bands I like and write something  about them.. and add one a week, until  my page is longer than a piece of  string, and I'll start again.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletblue.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletblue:" title="Bullet; Blue" /><b>Penfold</b> are in my view one of the best,  if not the best recent attempt at emo.  real emo. There lyrics are by far some  of the most heart-felt that I have  listend to in many years. They only did  2 albums before splitting up, but they  are two of the albums I am most happy  to own. They aren't the happiest bunch  of guys ever, and their songs not the  most optomistic, but in the same vein,  they are not a "I lost my girlfriend so  I'll hash an album together in an  evening" band. Live the band excel once  again, they aren't the most out going  band, and aren't likely to banter with  the audience, but they don't need to,  the music speaks more than a five  minute introduction talk could.  Granted, many of you will read this and  think I'm just another "Emo-kid", well,  if there's anything wrong with that,  give me some black rimmed glasses and a  Dashboard Confessional CD, because I  really couldn't care less.<br />
<b>Star Rating</b>(because dA has these nifty  new Star things): <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/star_full.gif" width="17" height="16" alt=":star:" title="Star!" /><img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/star_full.gif" width="17" height="16" alt=":star:" title="Star!" /><img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/star_full.gif" width="17" height="16" alt=":star:" title="Star!" /><img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/star_full.gif" width="17" height="16" alt=":star:" title="Star!" /><img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/star_half.gif" width="17" height="16" alt=":star-half:" title="Half Star" /> [they loose only the  half star because they split]<br />
.:[Other Info]:. You can download both  sets of their lst show at <a href="http://penfoldmusic.com">Their Website</a><br />
<br />
[One more to keep the ball rolling (and  an excuse to be lazy for a week)]<br />
<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletblue.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletblue:" title="Bullet; Blue" /><b>Clann Zú</b> a band I only heard of through  a poster in the forums after requesting  some Piano Rock bands. Although Piano  Rock doesn't really cover everything  they do, if it, infact, covers  anything. They vary from ambient songs  to send you to sleep and song that  would get the moshpit going  so well  even Slipknot would cry. An Irish  influenced band from Australia, strange  mix, but it works. They'll never be the  next big thing, no record lable would  be willing to put that much of a risk,  but, they are working on "movie music"  so, there might actually be a reason to  stay to the credits of your next movie.<br />
<b>Star Rating</b>: <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/star_full.gif" width="17" height="16" alt=":star:" title="Star!" /><img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/star_full.gif" width="17" height="16" alt=":star:" title="Star!" /><img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/star_full.gif" width="17" height="16" alt=":star:" title="Star!" /><img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/star_full.gif" width=... ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
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          <item>
                <title>|~[Is This Thing On?]~|</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/1798222/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/1798222/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 05 Feb 2004 13:47:16 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ G'evening. <i>Here Is Where I Am, Here Is  Fucked</i> A quote from... what I just made  up, but describes my world right now.  First off, the weather here is more  confused than a 12 year old who thinks  he's female cause he likes boobies.  Yesterday, I walked home in the rain..  not drizzle.. the <i>Pissing</i> rain, wetter  than a fish. Today, more like been on a  beach, my shoes still wet from  yesterday were, I shit you not,  Steaming as I was walking home.<br />
Then there's me. Yea. Me. Remember, I'm  confused... I don't even know if I'm  depressed or not, I mean, I feel it, I  feel like someones ripped out my  insides and taken a shit in the hole,  but I don't feel like killing myself,  well thats a lie... but I know I'm not  going to do it, maybe I figured that  I'm chicken shit, or maybe I'm just  moving away from angst... I hope it's  the second one. <br />
Then I'm confused about whether or not  I want to drop out of school, I mean, I  cant STAND the place, BUT, it's the  only place where I see all my... well,  ok, my 3 or 4, friends. And after last  year when in the summer I lived in my  room alone, and nearly ended up at  hospital and been institutionalised, I  dont want that, I mean, it's not going  to look good on my CV if I do, <i>+ Knows  Lots Of Shit... +Is Completely Nucking  Futs.</i> So, looks like school it is.<br />
<br />
Well, thats the confusering bit out of  the way. Now for the rest, first thing  I want to throw a <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/w/worship.gif" width="30" height="15" alt=":worship:" title="Worship" /> at `<a href="http://weaponzero.deviantart.com/">weaponzero</a> for  his site <a href="http://ihatemusic.org">IHateMusic</a> been the bestest  site in the whole wide internet. And  from that site I discovered the band  Tunes For Bears To Dance To, which is  by far and away the best name for a  band ever. Say otherwise and I'll stab  you <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/blankstare.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":|" title=":| (Blank Stare)" />. They also happen to be an awesome  band, who I wouldn't have heard of were  it not for <a href="http://ihatemusic.org">IHateMusic</a>.<br />
<br />
<b><u>Bands I Command You To Listen To</u></b> <br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletred.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletred:" title="Bullet; Red" /> The Promise Ring<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletred.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletred:" title="Bullet; Red" /> Tunes For bears To Dance To<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletred.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletred:" title="Bullet; Red" /> Waterdown<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletred.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletred:" title="Bullet; Red" /> The Early November<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletred.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletred:" title="Bullet; Red" /> Clann Zu<br />
<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/bulletred.gif" width="10" height="10" alt=":bulletred:" title="Bullet; Red" /> Funeral For A Friend<br />
<br />
<i>The Bullet In Lodged In My Brain Is The  Only Thing Keeping Me Sane</i><br />
<br />
<b>Sign Here</b> <i>Welzi</i><br />
<br />
<b>Here</b> <i>Welzi</i><br />
<br />
<b>And Here</b> <i>Virgo</i> <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/w/wink.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=";)" title=";) (Wink)" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
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          <item>
                <title>[Blank]</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/1648526/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/1648526/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 10 Jan 2004 06:30:21 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Nothing much has been up recently, I  really can't be bothered, I dunno what  it is. I just feel myself slipping back  to the way i was, I've started going  through the whole cutting thing again,  and I'm having fun doing stupid shit  that hurts me. but i really don't care  anymore, I kinda figured that it's not  going to go away. So, I guess I'll  guess I'll have to try to live with it,  if I can't, there's always "my place". <br />
School at the moment is just one  annoyence after another, I really can't  do with it for much longer. I'd love to  be able to drop it and become a  professional writer, but theres no way  that I'm good enough for that, so i  might just try to find a job, I just  can't cope with school. I skipped the  last 2 hours on the last day, partly  because i was ill, but also partly  because i just didnt want to be there.  I have 3 exams in the next two weeks, i  haven't done any revision, and I'm in  the mood that i really dont care how i  do in them, if i fail them, i fail. <br />
I've kinda stopped writting too, I  havent added anything to my story, even  though i wanted to have the first  chapter up by the end of this month,  but I still only have about one page in  word, i just cant pick up where i left  of, i might try again at the weekend. I  havent tried to write any new poems, i  dont know why, probally because i'm  just so tired that it seems like too  much effort, i might try to get back  into doing that too at the weekend,  although I might be getting a digicam  at the weekend too, so prepare for some  really bad photography been submitted  too. <br />
<br />
My song of the moment: <br />
<br />
<b>Thursday - "Tomorrow I'll Be You"</b><br />
<br />
<i>in the circuit, the frequency's  breaking up.<br />
the speakers can barely move <br />
this is not a test <br />
tune to the broadcast. <br />
witness the jetlag. <br />
look in the mirror. <br />
adjust the V-hold.<br />
shatter the lens. <br />
pull out the shards. <br />
choke on her words, <br />
caught in your throat. <br />
how long can the wheels maintain a  spin, <br />
at this velocity? <br />
on every block, <br />
a reminder: <br />
you can't stop this intersection. <br />
at every turn, <br />
dead forests of tenements rise <br />
like antennas. <br />
the miles are adding up <br />
and the days are counting down. <br />
cut the jet black from my hair <br />
before we're bathed in the dawn <br />
of New Year's Day. <br />
I will change back to myself <br />
in the flame, <br />
we burn like the paper hearts of <br />
dead presidents. <br />
we're too lost, <br />
to lose hope. <br />
maybe the night seems so dark <br />
because the day <br />
is much too bright <br />
for us to see that we are cured. <br />
we are cured <br />
(shatter the lens. pull out the shards)<br />
we are cured. <br />
we are cured <br />
(choke on her words, caught in your  throat)<br />
that's the sound of music from another  room <br />
the piano player hangs from piano wire<br />
but the player piano carries on. <br />
sit back and tune to the broadcast. <br />
witness the jet lag <br />
shatter the lens. <br />
pull out the shards. <br />
choke on her words, <br />
caught in your throat. <br />
this is not a test<br />
this is not a test<br />
shatter the lens. <br />
pull out the shards. <br />
choke on her words, <br />
caught in your throat.<br />
as the language dissolves <br />
and the sentence lifts, <br />
a slow alphabet of rain is whispering, <br />
"aabcttipacbdefg..." <br />
since I replaced the I in live with an  O, <br />
I can't remember who you are... <br />
...but tomorrow I'll be you. <br />
just pick up the phone. <br />
I'm calling from your house, <br />
in your room, <br />
in your name, <br />
lying in your bed, <br />
following your dreams. <br />
I listen to your voice <br />
get caught in my throat <br />
as I sing, <br />
"This Is Just A Dream." <br />
on New Year's Day, <br />
we will change back to ourselves. <br />
in the flame<br />
we are cured. <br />
we are cured. <br />
we are cured.</i><br />
<br />
Album Of The Moment: <b> Jets To Brazil -  Perfecting </b>Lonliness<br />
<br />
Peace Love And A Painless Death <br />
~welzi<br />
<br />
everyone else is doing it:<br />
<br />
<b>01. When I was younger I made some bad  decisions</b> i think we all did.<br />
<b>02. I don't watch much TV these days</b>  most of it is crap.<br />
03. I love psychadelic mushrooms<br />
<b>04. I love sleeping</b> i spend as much  time as posible in bed.<br />
05. I have loads of books<br />
06. I once slept in a toilet<br />
<b>07. I love playing video games</b> yup.<br />
08. I like marijuana<br />
09. I watch porn movies<br />
10. I watch them with my father<br />
11. I like sharks<br />
12. I love spiders, I think they're  adorable, especially the ones with  bright colours on their backs<br />
13. I was born without hair and I still  have no hair<br />
14. I like G. Bush<br />
15. People are cool.<br />
<b>16. I have c... ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Forthcoming To A Welzi Pen</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/1489024/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/1489024/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 04 Dec 2003 09:54:14 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Recently I haven't really been up to  much in the way of creativity, be it  writting or the lil bits of graphic art  I do. I even stopped reading my Stephen  King Novels and short stories. This  isn't really on, I don't really have  that many fans, but not writting isn't  going to help any, so I really need to  get the whole writting thing back on  track. I NEED to write, its that  simple, sometime the only thing that  stops me from going crazy, it's also  the only thing that I'm good at, 'Cos  at the moment school really is going  down the drain, so if I keep practicing  i might be able to at least make some  money off writting when I'm older. I've  decided that if I really want people to  look at my work, then I've got to do  something different from anything I've  really donbe before, so I've decided  that I'm going to have a go at writing  a story, I'm not sure if I'll just do  it as a short story, or if I'll attempt  to go full out and write a full novel.  Whatever I decide to do in the end, i  hope to have something to do with it up  here before Christmas, but cos I've  never really attmepted to write a full  story before, that last story I tried  to write, I wrote about a page of, then  stopped, it could take a bit longer.  But you all have the permission to kick  my ass if I haven't got anything of  sustance up before the end of January.  I do have an idea or so for the  begining page(s) or so in my head, but  it's only like an introduction and I  don't have anything in the way of a  plot or character ideas. Up untill  around Christmas time I kind of need  something to justify my lack of  writting and premature haitus, so the  idea I have had, is to submit at least  one poem, drawing or whatever  everyweek, whether in practice this  will happen is yet to be seen, but  again, if I dont you can kick my ass.<br />
<br />
<u>Albumns you should all Listen to:</u><br />
Jets To Brazil - Perfecting Lonliness [<b> Stand out song:</b> Psalms]    <br />
Brand New - Deja Etandu [<b>Stand out song:</b>  the Quiet Things That No-one ever  Knows]<br />
My Chemical Romance - I Brought You My  Bullets You Brought Me Your Love [<b>Stand  out song:</b> Early Sunsets Over  Monroeville]<br />
The*Ataries - End Is Forever [<b>Stand out  song:</b> You Need A Hug]<br />
Saves The Day (any one of them) [<b>Stand  out song:</b> Sell All My Old Clothes Im  Off To Heaven<br />
Modest Mouse - This Is A Long Drive  Home For Someone With Nothing To Think  About [<b>Stand out song:</b> Talking Shit  About A Pretty Sunset]<br />
...I could carry on, but that's enough.   <br />
<br />
Anyway, get ready to kick my ass. Cos  I'm sure what i wrote here will never  take place like I planned, nothing ever  does.<br />
<br />
Over and out,<br />
~Welzi ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
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          <item>
                <title>.:&lt;i dont know&gt;:.</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/1285051/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/1285051/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 16 Oct 2003 13:50:17 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ meh. i dunno, whats going on, i stopped  taking the prozac... just cos... screw  the drs, i cant stand it, i dont really  feel better, but i dont feel worse..i  just dont feel anymore. ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
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                <title>[empty]</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/1143510/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/1143510/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 09 Sep 2003 08:11:36 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ its my bday today, but i feel like  shit, so no celebrating. bdays suck.<br />
<br />
<br />
everyone should listed to Thursday -  Signals Over The Air ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
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          <item>
                <title>....</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/1077065/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/1077065/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 18 Aug 2003 11:13:45 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ meh. i give up ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Leaving On A Jet Plane</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/933975/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/933975/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 11 Jul 2003 14:32:05 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ me is back in England now. the holiday was ok, though there were not  many kids my age at the hotel. the coach trip was more bearable than i  thought, i wrote 6 poems on the way there so that kick started my  writting again <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_smile.gif" align="middle" alt=":) (Smile)" title=":) (Smile)" border="0" /> <br>
the  bad things about the journy going was that i was sat opposite a  guy who was the spitting image of Bricktop from the film snatch, so  evertime i opened my eyes in the night i saw him and it was kinda  creepy.<br>
the other bad thing was the leg-room, i think it is a conspiricy to try  to kill all the tall people, and we had a guy Keith, who came round  with tea and coffee etc ever 10 mins and kept you awake alot of the  time, tho i personaly think  that he would have mad money if he brought  rounds painkillers and tranquilzers. <br>
the weather was everything that we could have hoped for, really sunny  every day, our hotel was even better, we were living it a altered  appartment, which instead of the normal cramped rooms, could probably  have quite easily have 2 people living in it. <br>
most of the days, we just went out and visited place, most of the  places there wasnt much for me to do, but i wasnt really too  bothered.one day we went on a trip to Nice, monaco, and monte carlo,  Nice was cool, but i was wearing a t-shirt with french writting on it,  ad some french girl came up and started to talk to me which was quite  weird. monaco was a pretty cool place, the palace of prince  Ren...somthing was ok, and the aquarium was also really good, prolly my  fave part of the whole holiday, Monte Carlo was acctually quite  disappointing, it was totaly not how i expected it, not as flash as i  thought, so that dragged abit.<br>
the next BIG trip we went on, was to Portafino, some other place, and a  place called Rappelo or something, tho i could never remember the name  of it, and in the  end i just ended up nick naming it Rizla. that was  also a pretty cool place.<br>
i spent 2 days by the pool, both days i kinda got sunburnt, first day i  got the tops of my legs burnt, but not too badly, 2nd day i burnt my  back, quite badly, but that was one of the best days, it was the last  full day before going home, but it was the day that i made afew friends  with some of the kids there. i hung around by the pool with a 13 y-o  guy called alex for most of the afternoon, and in the evening, i talked  to 2 ppl from Scotland, Lynn, who was 14, but was maturer and i got on  really well with her, and her brother steven who was only 9, but was  still pretty cool and not at all little brat.<br>
the next day we set off home at about 2 in the afternoon, Lynn was sat  behind my on the coach from Italy till Coventry, which was like 26hrs,  and we talked for alot of that, which was pretty cool, and helped pass  the time. i also decided that she had the greatest scotish accent  EVER... now i wanna move to scotland. Said my goodbyes, to lynn and  steven and their mum and dad at about 4 in the afternoon on thursday,  then went to catch the coach that was going to take us home. got in  home at about 9:30. in some ways i was glad to be home, back to normal  again, in some ways i would have liked to have stayed longer, it would  have meant that i got to know Alex, Lynn and Steven better, and also  with Kirsty been in scarbrough till the 13th, it means that i cant see  her for a while yet, and i miss her like mad.<br>
might be picking up my bmx tomorrow <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif" align="middle" alt=":D (Big Grin)" title=":D (Big Grin)" border="0" />  yay!    <br>
<br>
thats enough for now<br>
<br>
got great feedback on my new poems, thanks guys <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_smile.gif" align="middle" alt=":) (Smile)" title=":) (Smile)" border="0" /> <br>
<br>
-welzi ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Leaving On A Jet Plane</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/893390/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/893390/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 30 Jun 2003 12:51:55 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i am off on teh holiday to teh italy for teh 10 days, so dont expect  any updates. hopefully while im there i might start writting again, i  have a 24hr+ coach trip to kill time on so prolly be some submissions  when i get back<br>
<br>
BYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE<br>
<br>
[back online 11th July]<br>
Exams: Over<br>
<br>
Mood: Not Bad<br>
<br>
Music: Alkaline Trio<br>
<br>
Ducks: TEH COOLZ0RZ<br> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>over and out.</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/825248/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/825248/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 12 Jun 2003 10:09:37 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ tooo many exams, so tired <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_yawn.gif" align="middle" alt="Yawn" title="Yawn" border="0" /> <br>
<br>
***will update with something meaningful in couple of weeks*** ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>over and out.</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/717833/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/717833/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 13 May 2003 10:32:36 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ wooooo! i gots me the bestest gf ever yay, im happier again.<br>
one thing that is starting to get to me is that i'm close friends with  one of her best friends, and there have been rumours going round that  we were going out, cos we went to the prom on friday as friends, cos  kirsty wasnt going, cos i'd of gone with her if she was cos i have so  much in common with her. so everyone thought that cos i went to the  prom with her and that i talk to her alot that i was going out with  her, now when they see me with kirsty they are like "Ohmifuckinggod,  you were going out with one of her best friends now you're going out  with her, you rat" then when they have finished shouting at me, i have  to quietly explain that i was never going out with emma in the first  place and never have been, that we are jus good friends, i wanna know  who started the rumour we were going out tho, cos its kinda annoying,  makes me look like a prick too. ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>over and out.</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/706999/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/706999/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 10 May 2003 07:43:51 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I'm Ready, I'm Ready, It's Time, I'm Ready, I'm Ready, Your Coffin Or  Mine? <br>
This has to end, and it has to end now. No more. This is all my fault.  Everything that goes wrong is my fault. Everyone will be better off  once Im gone, lots of suffering for people who dont deserve it, or  need it will go. No more faked happiness or putting on a brave face.  Its time to face up to this. Ive put myself in this position and only  I can sort it. Ive just imposed myself on people, given people who  were once happy worries and tears. Made people spend time away from  their friends for me and my stupid little problems and what help has it  done them or me None! Cos Im still exactly the same, just with people  getting worried and upset. I have to end it before any more people get  involved. It will be easier for my family and friends without all the  constant whining I give them, they can go back to their happy family  and happy groups of friends and move back to how they were. Then there  is me, the most insignificant part of this, this is what I should have  done ages ago instead of dragging more people into it. Its simple. I  have the easiest task of all. I dont need to think, just leave. Save  people years of hassle. I gave up too long ago; people are just wasting  their time. This depression wont leave me, so Ill leave the  depression. This is the only way that it will be gone for good, this  time it will go. Ive lived what I want of my life, now time to move on  and stop the suffering. Sorry. Goodbye. ~~Welzi ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Lastest From Planet Welzi</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/654806/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/654806/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 24 Apr 2003 11:30:55 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ its back <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_tears.gif" align="middle" alt="Tears" title="Tears" border="0" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Lastest From Planet Welzi</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/628377/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/628377/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 16 Apr 2003 13:52:00 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Today was so good i just had to put a journal entry about it, this is  gunna be Uber long, i warn you now. today turned out so well, i didnt  feel depressed at all, i woke up and it was a really sunny bright day,  the best we have had round here in ages, great weather, i decided to go  the scenic way cos the weather was so good, so i set off the back way  from my house, and decided to go along the cannal, to get to the cannal  i have to go over three bridges, agter going through the trees and down  the banking on the little (dry) mud path, i headed over the 1st bridge,  it goes over the old railway line, over grown with trees now, beer cans  and god knows what down there, the bridge isnt much better off, i plank  missing, jus a piece of board over it, no rail on one side, it was a  really nice sight tho, cos when i looked down i could see all the  shards of sunlight passing through the trees. from there i headed onto  the hill, the hill is really rocky and grassy, and cos it was early  morning there was dew on the grass, the hill does round a corner and  down, and at the other side is a very sharp drop, behind, a drop to the  old railway line. today i just stood at the top of it and looked  towards the new railway line, in the exact same place that there had  been an urge to jump off when i was depressed, i just stared out  towards the railway, cannal and hills. after a few minutes, i headed  down the hill and over the 2nd bridge, its a big green thing, new  bridge, looks horrable compaired to the rocky light brown mud floor,  only 2 weeks old at the most, and already "i love so and so" and random  swear wrords have been scratched into the paint, i hate the people  around where i live, i'd want to move if it didnt mean leaving what few  friends i have. then i headed down the concrete ramp from the "new"  bridge" also sticks out, then i headed down past the fields with horses  in them, 3 horses, one of them i think wants to befriend me, every time  i came before it walked over to me, looked at me and kinda smiled, but  now they are tired up again, so it couldnt even come to the edge of the  open field, never mind go down to the cannal for a drink, i felt kinda  sorry for it. then i headed over the cannal bridge, and set off down  the cannal towards school, i had some really relaxing piano rock on my  walkman, and i was walking about half the pace i usually would, but i  felt so relaxed, better then i have in ages and ages, saw a mother duck  and a load of little black and yellow ducklings. looked so cool, wish i  had had a camera even tho im not a photographer, jus a memory of today  would have been so cool. then i came off the cannal and onto this ugly  road, really narrow, with a ton of industrial factories and things, so  theres always lorries going up and down, then onto the main road, tones  of traffic, didnt really fit into my mood of been relaxed, all the  trafic rushing past. then i went onto the road that leads to school, it  was much quieter than usual, because there were no people heading  towards the school, i live in a funny area, most of the other people  who go to my school live at the other side of town, and with the school  ben closed to most people there was hardly anyone about, and the  tourists and walkers that come into that area wouldnt be there for  another 30 mins or so. close to my school i saw an old man walking the  cutest lil black dog ever, all small and waddly, i wanted to steal it,  but i didnt, maybe tomorrow. got into school with about 10 mins till  the revision class started, so i sat up in my years social area till  the lesson started, i was only in for the morning, business studies  revision, wasnt that bad, though i usualy hate it, but then, the  revision calss wasnt with my normal teacher. that finished at about 12  10, later than it should, then i decided to walk one of my friends,  Emma, home, shes great, helped me with a ton of stuff with getting rid  off the depression and smoking and everything else, i owe alot to her,  wrote a Shoulder To Cry On, poem for her, but i gave her it and lost  the original so i cant post it here, damn, we wandered up slowly  talking about anything, took about 15 mins longer than usual cos we  were just wandering slowly. it was bout 12 45 then, and i couldnt  really be bothered going home, it was a 2mile walk, and i knew the  computer roomback at school would be open, and one of my other friends,  kirsty, would be there, all female friends today, none of the male ones  in, felt kinda alienated! so i headed off back to school, didnt bother  with the path way, cut down through the woods that come out at the  bottom of the school playing fields, wandered across the playing field  and in, managed to get one of the vending machines to work for once,  the first lunch i have had this week! headed up to the ICT room, it was  about 1 30, the lesson had started at 12 30, but the teacher wasnt  bothered because it was just a lesson where you coul... ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Lastest From Planet Welzi</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/592552/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/592552/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 04 Apr 2003 09:15:23 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Depression gone byebyes<br>
Smoking gone byebyes<br>
Ph33r me! i have nicotine cravings <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_lick.gif" align="middle" alt="Lick" title="Lick" border="0" /> <br>
<br>
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif" align="middle" alt=":D (Big Grin)" title=":D (Big Grin)" border="0" /> <br>
<br>
<img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_bounce.gif" align="middle" alt="Bounce" title="Bounce" border="0" /> <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_teevee.gif" align="middle" alt="TV" title="TV" border="0" /> <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_airborne.gif" align="middle" alt="Airborne" title="Airborne" border="0" /> <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_airborne.gif" align="middle" alt="Airborne" title="Airborne" border="0" /> <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_teevee.gif" align="middle" alt="TV" title="TV" border="0" /> <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_bounce.gif" align="middle" alt="Bounce" title="Bounce" border="0" /> <br>
<br>
<img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_gummybear.gif" align="middle" alt="Gummybear" title="Gummybear" border="0" /> gummybear anyone? ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Lastest From Planet Welzi</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/576235/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/576235/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 29 Mar 2003 06:24:22 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Song Of the Moment<br>
<br>
<b>The Get Up Kids<i> "Mass Pike"</b><br>
<br>
 wonder when I wander home If I'll be fit to drink alone. <br>
Sleep with my memories, Pictures, apologies. <br>
For every minute yesterday, Regret reminds me anyway. <br>
If I remember anything, I'll make mistakes again. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, Thought I was losing you. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, I fell in love with you. <br>
I will declare a holiday, The night that she turned me away. <br>
I'm drowning in my miseries It solves everything. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, Thought I was losing you. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, I fell in love with you. <br>
With you. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, Thought I was losing you. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, I fell in love with you. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, Thought I was losing you. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, I fell in love with you.<br>
<br>
</i><br>
<br>
<b>Flock To These People</b><br>
<a href="http://maiden13.deviantart.com"><img src="http://images.deviantart.com/deviants/maiden13.gif" width="50" height="50" border="0"></a><a href="http://x-chriz.deviantart.com"><img src="http://images.deviantart.com/deviants/x-chriz.gif" width="50" height="50" border="0"></a><a href="http://hypermind.deviantart.com"><img src="http://images.deviantart.com/deviants/hypermind.gif" width="50" height="50" border="0"></a><a href="http://defelite.deviantart.com"><img src="http://images.deviantart.com/deviants/defelite.gif" width="50" height="50" border="0"></a><a href="http://beautybhindthelenz.deviantart.com"><img src="http://images.deviantart.com/deviants/beautybhindthelenz.gif" width="50" height="50" border="0"></a><a href="http://piynemia.deviantart.com"><img src="http://images.deviantart.com/deviants/piynemia.gif" width="50" height="50" border="0"></a><a href="http://silverfoxx420.deviantart.com"><img src="http://images.deviantart.com/deviants/silverfoxx420.gif" width="50" height="50" border="0"></a><a href="http://crazinessisay.deviantart.com"><img src="http://images.deviantart.com/deviants/crazinessisay.gif" width="50" height="50" border="0"></a><br>
<br>
depressed again, and i have to reason to<br>
cut again, and i have no reason to<br>
smoked again, and i have no reason to<br>
get the picture? <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_tears.gif" align="middle" alt="Tears" title="Tears" border="0" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Lastest From Planet Welzi</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/576219/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/576219/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 29 Mar 2003 06:11:59 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Song Of the Moment<br>
<br>
<b>The Get Up Kids<i> "Mass Pike"</b><br>
<br>
 wonder when I wander home If I'll be fit to drink alone. <br>
Sleep with my memories, Pictures, apologies. <br>
For every minute yesterday, Regret reminds me anyway. <br>
If I remember anything, I'll make mistakes again. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, Thought I was losing you. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, I fell in love with you. <br>
I will declare a holiday, The night that she turned me away. <br>
I'm drowning in my miseries It solves everything. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, Thought I was losing you. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, I fell in love with you. <br>
With you. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, Thought I was losing you. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, I fell in love with you. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, Thought I was losing you. <br>
Last night on the Mass Pike, I fell in love with you.<br>
<br>
</i><br>
<br>
depressed again, and i have to reason to<br>
cut again, and i have no reason to<br>
smoked again, and i have no reason to<br>
get the picture <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_tears.gif" align="middle" alt="Tears" title="Tears" border="0" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Lastest From Welziville</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/572130/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/572130/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 27 Mar 2003 13:15:30 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Song Of the Moment<br>
<br>
<b>The Get Up Kids<i> "Campfire Kansas"</b><br>
<br>
woke up at eight, started a fire <br>
had a few drinks, we all felt inspired <br>
jumped in the stream, our shoes and canteens <br>
the water is bitter cold <br>
laid in the raft till it started moving <br>
the current just sang, the song was so soothing <br>
we stopped along the way <br>
on a beach in the sun on a beautiful day <br>
our boats collide, we feel the breeze <br>
we stay afloat and make the most of everything <br>
by noon we had swung the ropes in the woods <br>
missed all dangers, snakes and the floods <br>
burned by the rays and next to our legs, the water so bitter cold <br>
lunch had been saved along with the lighters <br>
wet cigarettes serve us as reminders <br>
never trust a man with food, change of clothes, and a drink in his hand  <br>
our boats collide, we feel the breeze <br>
we stay afloat and make the most of everything <br>
the sun will set, the stars would shine <br>
the trees would shake, we'd all feel fine <br>
let's take the moon and make it shine for everyone <br>
we'd laugh away the sunburn <br>
as we laughed away his day <br>
what we lost means nothing <br>
for the memories will stay <br>
caught the last bus, with no time to linger<br>
driver seemed to be missing a finger <br>
i turned and looked away to the bus, gravel road and a beautiful day<br>
our boats collide, we feel the breeze <br>
we stay afloat and make the most of everything <br>
the sun will set, the stars would shine <br>
the trees would shake, we'd all feel fine <br>
let's take the moon and make it shine for everyone <br>
let's take the moon and make it shine for everyone<br>
</i><br>
<br>
Been an up and down week, emotional rollercoaster you could say kinda  down at the moment, but i hope i get better ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>99 red balloons</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/555250/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/555250/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 20 Mar 2003 10:22:24 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Fitting:<i><b>"99 Red Balloons"</b><br>
<br>
You and I in a little toy shop<br>
buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got<br>
Set them free at the break of dawn<br>
'Til one by one, they were gone<br>
Back at base, bugs in the software<br>
Flash the message, "Something's out there"<br>
Floating in the summer sky<br>
99 red balloons go by.<br>
<br>
99 red balloons floating in the summer sky<br>
Panic bells, it's red alert<br>
There's something here from somewhere else<br>
The war machine springs to life<br>
Opens up one eager eye<br>
Focusing it on the sky<br>
As 99 red balloons go by.<br>
<br>
99 Decision Street, 99 ministers meet<br>
To worry, worry, super-scurry<br>
Call out the troops now in a hurry<br>
This is what we've waited for<br>
This is it boys, this is war<br>
The president is on the line<br>
As 99 red balloons go by.<br>
<br>
99 Kriegsminister<br>
Streichholz und Benzinkanister<br>
Hielten sich fuer schlaue Leute<br>
Witterten schon fette Beute<br>
Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht<br>
Mann, wer haette das gedacht<br>
Dass es einmal soweit kommt<br>
Wegen 99 Luftballons<br>
<br>
99 dreams I have had<br>
In every one a red balloon<br>
It's all over and I'm standin' pretty<br>
In the dust that was a city<br>
If I could find a souvenier<br>
Just to prove the world was here...<br>
And here it is, a red balloon<br>
I think of you and let it go. </i><br>
<br>
me no wanty war! <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_peace.gif" align="middle" alt="Peace" title="Peace" border="0" /> <br>
<br>
I HATE MY PHYCHOLOGIST! i told him that when he tried to make me the  one that has to come up for help with him and his made up situtations  it makes me uncomfortable, but he didnt stop, i dont wanna go back... <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_tears.gif" align="middle" alt="Tears" title="Tears" border="0" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welziland</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/530513/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/530513/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 07 Mar 2003 13:59:32 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <i><b>One Step Forward, Fives Steps Back</i></b> <br>
<br>
everything fell apart this week, dunno what but everything slipped back  into my shitty existance. I cut myself again.. repeatedly, i started  smoking again, im such a failure. <br>
im in the mood where i just want to die, i just want to block  everything out, just be alone, i dont want anyone to come near me.. i  dont wanna hurt anyone else, i dont want to be remembered, i dont want  anything, i just want the blak to come back, let the depression take  over me again, ive had enough, even when ive tried, got help, got  pills, ive failed. im a failure, i hate myself, im insignificant, im  whiney i wish i was dead, i wish the world would just leave me alone,  it'll spin without me .. suddenly ive gone all poetic, i hate this, im  typing, i cant remember what... gaaaahhhh<br>
<br>
<img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_frown.gif" align="middle" alt=":( (Sad)" title=":( (Sad)" border="0" />  <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_tears.gif" align="middle" alt="Tears" title="Tears" border="0" /> <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_depressed.gif" align="middle" alt="Depressed" title="Depressed" border="0" /> <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_nirvana.gif" align="middle" alt="Smells Like Teen Spirit" title="Smells Like Teen Spirit" border="0" /> <br>
<br>
I Am The Basic Flaw<br> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welzi Land</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/530493/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/530493/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 07 Mar 2003 13:47:43 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <b><i><u> One Step Forward, Fives Steps Back</b></i></u> <br>
<br>
everything fell apart this week, dunno what but everything slipped back  into my shitty existance. I cut myself again.. repeatedly, i started  smoking again, im such a failure. <br>
im in the mood where i just want to die, i just want to block  everything out, just be alone, i dont want anyone to come near me.. i  dont wanna hurt anyone else, i dont want to be remembered, i dont want  anything, i just want the blak to come back, let the depression take  over me again, ive had enough, even when ive tried, got help, got  pills, ive failed. im a failure, i hate myself, im insignificant, im  whiney i wish i was dead, i wish the world would just leave me alone,  it'll spin without me .. suddenly ive gone all poetic, i hate this, im  typing, i cant remember what... gaaaahhhh <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_tears.gif" align="middle" alt="Tears" title="Tears" border="0" />  <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_depressed.gif" align="middle" alt="Depressed" title="Depressed" border="0" />  <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_nirvana.gif" align="middle" alt="Smells Like Teen Spirit" title="Smells Like Teen Spirit" border="0" />  <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_frown.gif" align="middle" alt=":( (Sad)" title=":( (Sad)" border="0" />  :worried:<br>
<br>
<i>I Am The Basic Flaw</i> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welziland</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/508195/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/508195/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 22 Feb 2003 12:30:55 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ im feeling better at the moment, i think that everything, might finally  be falling back into place, ive started to see a phycologist, i can  feel the Prozac finaly starting to have a bit of an effect, i havent  hurt myself for about a week now, but more importantly i dont really  feel a large urge to, its weird. <br>
For once i had a really cool day today too, i went to town and met up  with an old friend, i cant have seen her for about... oh.. nearly 3yrs  now, way too long, we spent about 2 or 3 hrs, jus randomly walking  around town then down the cannal, scary thing been we talked about a  ton of stuff but theres still tonnes what we havent ah well, some other  time. so, yea stuff seems to be getting better, hope it carries on <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_nod.gif" align="middle" alt="Nod" title="Nod" border="0" /> <br>
<br>
my song of the moment<br>
<br>
<i><b>Thursday-</b> Where The Circle Ends<br>
<br>
Mountain ranges<br>
Mourning red bay at the bridges<br>
Stab up at the coming blue horizon<br>
Grey slides loosely off rooftops<br>
Lands on the Incan desert ground and dies<br>
A flock of little men touch down on the surface of the porchlight<br>
Bronze fist soldiers return<br>
To watch the twilight across the faces<br>
Skylights ignite and explode<br>
Scattering shards of april around the room<br>
No one even lives here<br>
We're too busy crashing our cars every morning at the same house<br>
Paving the same roads<br>
Unwilling to walk them<br>
And even when we extend ourselves, its only to be included<br>
In a world that's standing still<br>
And so often we don't struggle to improve conditions<br>
We struggle for the right to say "we improve conditions"<br>
And so often we form communities<br>
Only to use them as exclusionary devices<br>
And we forget that somewhere man is beside himself with grief<br>
And somewhere people are calling for teachers<br>
And no one's answering<br>
Somwhere a man stands, walks across the room, and breaks his nose on  the door<br>
And somewhere these people are keeping records<br>
And writing a book<br>
For now we can call it "The Book About the Basic Flaw<br>
Or "The Book About the Letter "N"<br>
Or "Any Title That a Book About a Man That No One Cares About Might  Have"<br>
And as we turn the pages we call out the sounds of nothing<br>
The sounds of a vanishing alphabet<br>
Standing here waiting<br>
<br>
me likey <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif" align="middle" alt=":D (Big Grin)" title=":D (Big Grin)" border="0" /> <br>
<br>
-Welzi <i>"You're My Umberella When The Shit Hits The Fan" ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welziland</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/508174/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/508174/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 22 Feb 2003 12:15:07 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ im feeling better at the moment, i think that everything, might finally  be falling back into place, ive started to see a phycologist, i can  feel the Prozac finaly starting to have a bit of an effect, i havent  hurt myself for about a week now, but more importantly i dont really  feel a large urge to, its weird. <br>
For once i had a really cool day today too, i went to town and met up  with an old friend, i cant have seen her for about... oh.. nearly 3yrs  now, way too long, we spent about 2 or 3 hrs, jus randomly walking  around town then down the cannal, scary thing been we talked about a  ton of stuff but theres still tonnes what we havent ah well, some other  time. so, yea stuff seems to be getting better, hope it carries on <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_nod.gif" align="middle" alt="Nod" title="Nod" border="0" /> <br>
<br>
my song of the moment<br>
<i><b>Thursday-</b> Where The Circle Ends<br>
<br>
Mountain ranges<br>
Mourning red bay at the bridges<br>
Stab up at the coming blue horizon<br>
Grey slides loosely off rooftops<br>
Lands on the Incan desert ground and dies<br>
A flock of little men touch down on the surface of the porchlight<br>
Bronze fist soldiers return<br>
To watch the twilight across the faces<br>
Skylights ignite and explode<br>
Scattering shards of april around the room<br>
No one even lives here<br>
We're too busy crashing our cars every morning at the same house<br>
Paving the same roads<br>
Unwilling to walk them<br>
And even when we extend ourselves, its only to be included<br>
In a world that's standing still<br>
And so often we don't struggle to improve conditions<br>
We struggle for the right to say "we improve conditions"<br>
And so often we form communities<br>
Only to use them as exclusionary devices<br>
And we forget that somewhere man is beside himself with grief<br>
And somewhere people are calling for teachers<br>
And no one's answering<br>
Somwhere a man stands, walks across the room, and breaks his nose on  the door<br>
And somewhere these people are keeping records<br>
And writing a book<br>
For now we can call it "The Book About the Basic Flaw<br>
Or "The Book About the Letter "N"<br>
Or "Any Title That a Book About a Man That No One Cares About Might  Have"<br>
And as we turn the pages we call out the sounds of nothing<br>
The sounds of a vanishing alphabet<br>
Standing here waiting<i><br>
<br>
me likey <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif" align="middle" alt=":D (Big Grin)" title=":D (Big Grin)" border="0" /> <br>
-Welzi <i>"You're My Umberella When The Shit Hits The Fan" ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welziland</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/491951/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/491951/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 13 Feb 2003 11:00:46 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ The Best Song In The World (for the moment anyway)<br>
<b>From Autumn To Ashes</b>- <i>Short Stories With Tragic Endings</i><br>
<br>
(its long but deffo. worth the read)<br>
<br>
<i><b>Short Stories With Tragic Endings</b><br>
<br>
Here you stand seething with guilt.<br>
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.<br>
The look stapled on your face cries out for forgiveness,<br>
the one thing that I cannot give you. <br>
<br>
Did you ever see that one person<br>
and the way they do these things<br>
and it hurts so much it's like choking.. choking?<br>
<br>
I can give you freedom from your guilt,<br>
with a flick of my wrist onto yours.<br>
I can give you peace of mind with a forced smile. <br>
<br>
I can give you death with the look upon my face. <br>
<br>
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,<br>
with no last kiss & no regrets;<br>
you don't deserve good bye.<br>
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,<br>
with no last kiss & no good bye. <br>
<br>
Here you stand seething with guilt.<br>
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.<br>
With a short story, the one you add to daily, you are the tragic loss.<br>
No story book ending for this fairy tale of you.<br>
Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen that you hold in  your lifeless hand.<br>
Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end. <br>
<br>
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,<br>
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?<br>
So much it's like choking down the embers of a great blaze.<br>
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions<br>
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.<br>
You let this one person come down on the most perfect moment.<br>
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is a  reminder of what I'll never have..<br>
I'll never have.. I'll never...<br>
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in..<br>
standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.<br>
But this table for one has become bearable.<br>
I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you.<br>
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person<br>
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?<br>
So much it's like choking down the embers of a great place.<br>
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions<br>
and to scream confessions at the insipidsky parting clouds.<br>
And you let this one person come down.. come down. I cherish you.. I  cherish you.<br>
Just say that you would do the same for me.. <br>
just say you would do the same..<br>
just say you would do the same for me.<br>
For as much as I love Autumn,<br>
I'm giving myself to Ashes.</i>  <br>
<br>
that song, it speaks to me so much it's scary... all 9:24 of it<br> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welziland</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/479403/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/479403/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 05 Feb 2003 12:46:19 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ cant stop it, it's returned... that part of me, the one that wants to  gash huge cuts in my arms, its back and i cant stop it, i cant even  decide if i want to. last night i did one quite deep :S and again  today, it built up again from about 2months of nothing deep i jus went  off last night, i went crazy, swinging punches at myself, winded myself  so i could hardly move, then cut my arms quite deep, they still sting  now <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_puke.gif" align="middle" alt="I think I am going to PUKE!" title="I think I am going to PUKE!" border="0" /> <br>
then laid in bed, my brain decided that it was ready to die, i was laid  in my bed, and knew that i was ready to go, but there was nothing in my  room that i could hurt myself with, i lost my knife and had to put the  other back cos my parents would notice it was missing, so i jus kept  myself occupied till the morning, and got about 2hrs sleep maximum<br>
then again when i got home today, i jus had to let it out, i was  breaking down. i cant stop i dont think now, i get the urge to do it  again right now.... i still feel im ready to die.. cant stop it, its  taking over me like a virus, everything is too much like work... i jus  cant be bothered.... im a depressive scrote.... im a self centred fool,  i have nothing in the way of feelings nothing matters to me anymore im  a freak.. i jus wanna die. i jus cant help it <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_frown.gif" align="middle" alt=":( (Sad)" title=":( (Sad)" border="0" />  <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_tears.gif" align="middle" alt="Tears" title="Tears" border="0" />  nothing is helping..  not anti-depressants, not talking, not nothing... <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_tears.gif" align="middle" alt="Tears" title="Tears" border="0" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welziland</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/454885/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/454885/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 22 Jan 2003 10:21:15 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ it gets worse, it jus gets worse and worse and worse<br>
<br>
today was the wors day of my life, officialy<br>
<br>
1st my g/f spilt up with me :sigh:<br>
then i had to go to the drs. ive been put on at least 6months of  anti-depressants and i have to go to therapy once a week too<br>
<br>
what did i do to deserve this, someone please tell me ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welziland</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/448033/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/448033/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 18 Jan 2003 07:30:35 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ time for anothr journal update, cos im bored out of my arse and this is  the only half interesting thing i have to do. <br>
<br>
yawn, i am tired, still, i really cant sleep at all at the mo, i feel  totaly wrecked. appart from that i am good.<br>
<br>
i think i have some in-built, <i>"welzi must feel depressed whatever  hormone"</i> in my body, cos at the moment even tho  a good 90% of the time  i am a happy bunny <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_nod.gif" align="middle" alt="Nod" title="Nod" border="0" />  the other 10% i feel kinda down, that and the fact  that the scars on my arms are starting to piss me off, i reeeeeeeealy  regret cutting them now, i hate myself for that, my advise for anyone  who feels anything like i did, get help, go see a phyciatrist[sp?] cos  u'll end up like i was, constantly depressed, having weird break downs  and been addicted to self hurt <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_puke.gif" align="middle" alt="I think I am going to PUKE!" title="I think I am going to PUKE!" border="0" />  <br>
<br>
ok, well thats all the negative out....now the +ve, well, im still with  lizzie, so that jus eclipses that whole depressive crap, i gotta try to  write more happy poetry now, cos im sick of been a whiney depressive  little scrote. i rediscovered NOFX the other day, heehee they are so  funny, i lub Hot Dog In A Hallway, its so funny, that and I Wanna Be An  Alcoholic, lol they are so funny Fat Mike = God <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_worship.gif" align="middle" alt="Worship" title="Worship" border="0" />  <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif" align="middle" alt=":D (Big Grin)" title=":D (Big Grin)" border="0" />  <br>
<br>
thats all for now,<br>
byebyes<br>
-welzi ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welziland</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/424721/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/424721/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 04 Jan 2003 13:51:23 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Hey everyone. My life is pretty great at the moment, i cant believe  that I've jus said that, there have been times so far in my life where  i have sat and throught <i>"I hate myself, my life sucks</i>  I made my own,  and enough friends lives, hell for along time. but hey, im a teenager  im alowed toi do that right? right? well maybe not  but thankfully im  feeling good at the moment<br>
<br>
I really need to get some new music, I keep having to listen to  Dashboard Confessional, I really like him, but hell, cheer up man! yea,  and the more depressing the song, the more i seem to like it, stupid  welzi logic.grrr<br>
<br>
LOL @ me, and my seeming inablility to be happy, though in my head im a  really happy bunny. i wrote my 1st happy poem, and it got a really good  reception, which made me feel better, but i keep dragging up crap from  the past into my head, and then i wrote my latest poem about it, and  that made me think about it more, so i decided to take action, <br>
my whole hotmail inbox: emptied. <br>
anything that i got around that time:gone<br>
I gotta move on stuff the past, yay for the future<br>
<br>
over and out<br>
<br>
-welzi ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welziland</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/396253/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/396253/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 17 Dec 2002 13:12:16 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!<br>
I am the happiest bunny in the history of happy bunnies!!!<br>
<img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_hug.gif" align="middle" alt="Hug" title="Hug" border="0" />  No longer am I just another whiney hormone crazed teen, i am now just  another whiney hormone crazed teen with the best girlfriend in the  world <b>EVER</b> <br>
I am so happy maybe now, i will <br>
A) get NOT depressed<br>
and <br>
B) write HAPPY poetry <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_jawdrop.gif" align="middle" alt="Jawdrop" title="Jawdrop" border="0" /> <br>
<br>
thanx to ~<a href="http://x-chriz.deviantart.com">x-chriz</a> he really cheered me up when i was in one of my  stupid spells<br>
once again: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! <br>
<br>
welzi <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_love.gif" align="middle" alt="Love" title="Love" border="0" />  Lizzie/Smurfet/Ankles/ whatever nickname she gets next<br>
<br>
<img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_hug.gif" align="middle" alt="Hug" title="Hug" border="0" />  ::sigh:: YAY! for life! YAY for Smurfet YAY for been just another  whiney hormone crazed teen with the best girlfriend in the world <b>EVER</b> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welziland</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/392614/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/392614/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 15 Dec 2002 08:34:28 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i resorted to downloading Eminem today, I need to be shot, or stabbed  with a big stick, or <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_fork.gif" align="middle" alt="Stabbed with a Fork!" title="Stabbed with a Fork!" border="0" />  for some reason i like his music alot, i never  liked him for his 1st few albs, but me really likes The Eminem Show.<br>
I haven't written anything for a while now My head is just too messed  up at the moment, at the moment I am a strange mixture between  depressed and insane, i think there are institutions for ppl like me<br>
ahh internet <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_hug.gif" align="middle" alt="Hug" title="Hug" border="0" />  the random source of pointless usless crap, and <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_devartlogo.gif" align="middle" alt="deviantART" title="deviantART" border="0" /> <br>
grrr <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_angered.gif" align="middle" alt="Angered" title="Angered" border="0" />  I really wanna write, but anything i try at the moment comes out  too fucked up, my floor is littered with screwed up bit of poetry, so  far the best i got is:<br>
<i>Im sat alone<br>
Locked inside my shell<br>
Afraid that if I let anyone close<br>
Theyll gain the control<br>
I never have</i><br>
but if i try to add anything to it i end up feeling like killing  myself. sheeeet i hate myself sometimes/most of the time/ all the time.<br>
I just had a week of exams....that went bad, i think i failed  everything, every time i sat down to try to study, my head went off on  some random trip into something pointless and insane.<br>
<b>i need help</b><br>
oh wup-dee-doo its nearly crimbo..bah humbug<br>
i need to get out more, <br>
well if you have read this far then you deserve some sort of prize so  here is the linux penguin <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_tux.gif" align="middle" alt="Linux/Unix" title="Linux/Unix" border="0" />  to say thank you <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_tux.gif" align="middle" alt="Linux/Unix" title="Linux/Unix" border="0" /> <br>
right, so can stop reading.....now!<br>
byebyes ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>hows everyone?</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/377002/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/377002/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 05 Dec 2002 09:37:12 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i only just realised the pretty much no-one ever reads/comments on  these things, thats why i do them<img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_exclaim.gif" align="middle" alt="!" title="!" border="0" /> <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_exclaim.gif" align="middle" alt="!" title="!" border="0" />  <br>
<br>
best way to kill time. and i more than anyone have that to kill<br>
<br>
bye bye <br>
<br>
<img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_imslow.gif" align="middle" alt="Slow" title="Slow" border="0" />  <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif" align="middle" alt="=D (Big Grin)" title="=D (Big Grin)" border="0" /> welzi<img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif" align="middle" alt="=D (Big Grin)" title="=D (Big Grin)" border="0" />  <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/odd/icon_imslow.gif" align="middle" alt="Slow" title="Slow" border="0" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Heeeeeres welzi</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/368473/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/368473/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 30 Nov 2002 05:09:30 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Not done anything artistic or poetic for a while now, do have a few  poems inmind, its just a matter of getting the bastards down on paper<br>
<br>
as for now, im just killing time around here<br>
<br>
see y'all<br>
<br>
<img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif" align="middle" alt="=D (Big Grin)" title="=D (Big Grin)" border="0" /> welzi<img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif" align="middle" alt="=D (Big Grin)" title="=D (Big Grin)" border="0" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welziland</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/332207/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/332207/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 05 Nov 2002 10:51:28 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Finaly started to post things now, they are by no means good compaired  to somethings that I have read here, but art is all about expression  and letting out emotions isn't it (to me anyway) I wrote the latest  post last night "Ode To The Blue Screen Of Death" reading back over it  now I posted it it's not really that good. But a poem like that is  something I have been toying with doing for a while now, maybe V2 might  come your way soon.  Anyway those are all the plus sides, the minus  sides are that I appear to be suffering from mild insomnia, hopefully  though I'm just over-reacting. I ended up having a debate with my  Biology teacher about my depression today, something which at 1st, as  the convasation started was against my will, but as it went on it  showed me that she is oooold (nice way of putting it lol) and she is  still here so there's no reason for me not to be...nothing going to  change unless i make it! the one thing at the moment that is getting me  down is the fact that all my friends seem to be doing something tonight  for Guy Falkes night and i am stook in my room doing maths Coursework.  Hopefully I'll be able to go out at the weekend ::crosses fingers::  thats all for now, see you all around.<br>
<br>
Welzi <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_smile.gif" align="middle" alt=":) (Smile)" title=":) (Smile)" border="0" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Latest From Welziland</title>
                <link>http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/332205/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://welzi.deviantart.com/journal/332205/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 05 Nov 2002 10:50:44 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Finaly started to post things now, they are by no means good compaired  to somethings that I have read here, but art is all about expression  and letting out emotions isn't it (to me anyway) I wrote the latest  post last night "Ode To The Blue Screen Of Death" reading back over it  now I posted it it's not really that good. But a poem like that is  something I have been toying with doing for a while now, maybe V2 might  come your way soon.  Anyway those are all the plus sides, the minus  sides are that I appear to be suffering from mild insomnia, hopefully  though I'm just over-reacting. I ended up having a debate with my  Biology teacher about my depression today, something which at 1st, as  the convasation started was against my will, but as it went on it  showed me that she is oooold (nice way of putting it lol) and she is  still here so there's no reason for me not to be...nothing going to  change unless i make it! the one thing at the moment that is getting me  down is the fact that all my friends seem to be doing something tonight  for Guy Falkes night and i am stook in my room doing maths Coursework.  Hopefully I'll be able to go out at the weekend ::crosses fingers::  thats all for now, see you all around.<br>
<br>
Welzi <img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_smile.gif" align="middle" alt=":) (Smile)" title=":) (Smile)" border="0" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~welzi</author>
            </item>
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