http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:writing-the-WORLD&section=today deviantART RSS for by:writing-the-WORLD en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 05:55:35 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/28125313/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/28125313/ Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:22:57 PST
Just a note to say that I've decided to upload some photos with a view to selling them as prints. I'm only an amateur photographer so my camera probably isn't the best quality for large prints, but smaller ones would probably be ok.

Anyways, any photos already on here and any more I upload will hopefully all be available as prints (unless otherwise stated in the comments), but before I submit them as prints I'd appreciate it if I coul get some feedback on them. A comment on the photo(s) will be sufficient.

Thanks!



]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/26586035/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/26586035/ Fri, 14 Aug 2009 09:13:56 PDT
"How did I get here?

Do we ever really know how we get to where we are in life? “I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls brought me here...” ('The Luckiest' by Ben Folds). Is “here” a good place to be? Do you enjoy being where you are right now?

I don't.

My wrong turns, stumbles and falls brought me to C.2.12, Johnston Halls, College Bounds, Aberdeen AB24 3TT and in doing so brought me to R***. I loved that fact. If school hadn't gone so pear-shaped at the end and if my GAP Year hadn't been cut short I may be in a completely different university and studying a completely different course. But no, I'm here at Aberdeen studying Divinity and I met the greatest guy I ever knew.

We understood each other completely in the beginning; we were emotionally the same person. We've had some of the same hurts and we've had some very different experiences too. Yet we knew when each other was down and we were learning how to cheer each other up. We could talk to each other about anything. Anything. I don't believe in soul mates, but our ever-growing relationship was convincing me more and more each day. I knew he was going to be the person I would share my life with.

Then I made a decision. It was one of those small life-changing decisions and I thought it would change my life for the better. I thought it would change our lives for the better.

Then it went horribly wrong and I don't know if I'm ready to share it with the world yet.
I know that it was my fault, but I also know that had things been different it probably still would have happened. That hurts but it's not what hurts the most. The thing that hurts the most is knowing that I don't get to be the one to carry his burdens anymore. I became a burden and the only thing I can do to make it up in any way is to completely leave him alone, even if we end up at the same gathering at some point in the near or far future. I never thought I would look back so quickly on us laughing and cry; I never thought he would make me cry. I never thought I could do this to him.

How do I know it was me? I've read my diary. I've read his old blog posts. It's all over them, every single one. All I ever did was pick fights with him over nothing. I complained that he never showed me he loved me, when in reality it was I who didn't show him. He did nothing but show me. I threw away everything I ever wanted. I got what I wanted and I let it slip through my fingers. I didn't do anything to keep it. I let go of it, but he held on and in so doing I held on too. The more I held on, the worse it got. We took a break and he was convinced that it wasn't a break to try to prevent an inevitable breakup, but a week later we weren't together anymore. How did I throw away something so beautiful?

The only thing that makes it hurt any less is telling myself that we both threw it away.
But then I'd be lying."

We all think that it's out fault when life goes wrong, when in reality it takes two to break up a relationship. It wasn't my fault. I don't blame him. It was too intense because we were almost living together (in uni) before we were anywhere near ready. I missed him so much when he wasn't there because he was always there in the beginning. I hate this.

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/25064452/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/25064452/ Mon, 01 Jun 2009 06:31:19 PDT
I will write that book, only he won't get it as a gift from me.

I need help deciding how to do it. Would everybody like me to write the story in brief and put it on here first, then each chapter? Or do you think that would spoil the story?

I'm really sorry for being absent for so long, that in itself is a very lond story. I will endeavour to be back, but probably won't for a few months due to me going home to an internet connection that is the slowest on the planet. I will try though!

The sun is out, I may just pop off to the beach.

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/24287713/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/24287713/ Fri, 17 Apr 2009 08:54:02 PDT
He broke up with me february 13th
We got back together february 15th
He broke up with me March 13th
We got back together March 14th
He broke up with me March 17th or 18th, I stopped keeping track at this point

He said he needed a few weeks to think about it.
I gave him until today.
He said no, even though he led me to believe that there was hope.

He's pathetic.

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/24039483/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/24039483/ Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:55:38 PDT
On a better note, research for my book is nearly complete, I start writing in the summer
Well, "book" mught be pushing it. But "short story" is too short for all I want to put into it. It's kinda in between.

Ok, off to read and look at deviations

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/21414963/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/21414963/ Mon, 10 Nov 2008 02:56:03 PST
I can't put anything up along the way though, for reasons I shall explain when it's finished.

Can't wait to get stuck in!

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/20982337/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/20982337/ Tue, 14 Oct 2008 08:22:50 PDT
Well I've disappeared for too long this time, I'm going to try my absolute hardest to be more up to date with everything...

I started uni at the end of last month; it's awesome but incredibly stressful already. Not to mention 4am fire alarms.

The food's another thing altogether... but it's alright really

I'd better get back to work.
I'll try and do some more writing eventually.

Oh, and I'm not exactly "content" atm, I'm not really sure how I feel really but anyways; the mood thing wouldn't change for me.

Catch you later!

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/14767590/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/14767590/ Mon, 24 Sep 2007 04:50:54 PDT
I passed my driving test 2wks ago!! It's so amazing, though I think my carbon footprint has tripled; that'll sort itself out soon though, I'm only here until Christmas then I'm off to Namibia for 2 months, then Ecuador for three. I can tell you I won't be driving there... lol

I re-applied to uni on Friday; Divinity courses at Aberdeen, St Andrews, Cardiff and Durham. I'm hoping to get into Aberdeen. If they and St Andrews offer me places I don't know what to do, because Aberdeen looked like the best course on offer but St Andrews looked like the best Music & Sports facilities. I'm going to go visit them next month to try and make up my mind; I have friends there who can show me around.

I need to sort of rant about something now; and some advice wouldn't be bad, just if anyone has anything to say... I don't honestly know what can be said and I think I've got most of it sorted, but if you're willing to read on then do. I don't mind if you don't, it's quite long...

There's this guy I was really good friends with in school last year; he was in my Geology class and I sat with him in Maths. I was also invited along to various things at his church (I'm friends with a good deal of the youth there) and so I got to know him really well & I thought we were quite close. Then a few months ago I started having dreams about him and well, things got a bit carried away. I started to like him as more than a friend and tried not to let myself (I've ruined a few friendships because of that and he's such a nice decent guy that I didn't want to ruin ours) and then I just got confused; I didn't know whether I liked him or not; sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't. I'm really embarassed about a few things i said/did during the times when I did like him and so I won't go into any detail. But I will say that he never gave me any reason this whole summer for me to think that he wasn't ok with our friendship.

Until one day I opened my email inbox and there was one from him. It basically said that he thinks I may have feelings above friendship for him and that he's really sorry but he doesn't have the same feelings for me. Now that hurt. Not because he doesn't "like" me but because:

1) he waited so long to tell me what he was thinking so now I feel totally embarassed
2) he emailed me about it; I know it's hard to say in person but at the time he sent the email, I was talking away to him on MSN. And he was talking away to me. He didn't even have the decency to say anything then. I would gladly have stayed and talked about it that night.

We met up in person to talk about it but we really didn't talk about it... I consciously tried to convince him that I don't like him (& I think it may have worked) but then I felt really awkward about it and really guilty that I tried to convince him I don't like him when I don't even know myself. So I thought to myself, the only thing for it was to end the friendship, or at least put it temporarily on hold for a bit. So I did. It was over MSN because there wasn't a good time in person and when I phoned him I kept getting his voicemail. He seemed fine with it. Well, as fine as one can be about the end of a friendship. I came clean about the whole not knowing how I feel, and we both agreed that a bit of distance is necessary until everything's sorted out. I've seen him once since; it was last night. I completely ignored him. I don't feel bad about that given the circumstances, but I really wanted to apologise and ask him if he was really ok with it. I didn't want to let myself get drawn into a friendship again though, it's only been a week. A week is not enough distance lol... I did want him to know though, that he's another person I'm not ready to let go of just yet. But maybe some things are better left unsaid. I can't stop thinking about him. Even though he didn't talk to me last night and I didn't talk to him, he was reacting to a conversation I was having in close proximity to him; like, you know, nodding his head to acknowledge he was listening and stuff... Maybe he was just waiting to see if I would talk to him or acknowledge him; maybe he wasn't sure how far I wanted to take the whole not being friends thing. Someday we'll be ready to start afresh; we both agreed to that.

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/13486576/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/13486576/ Mon, 25 Jun 2007 14:38:58 PDT D
havent been able to get 5 mins to myself yet tho lol
I have over 880 deviations & over 800 messages (mainly journals) to get through, so forgive me if i take a while to get new stuff up, but it will come

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/12632298/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/12632298/ Tue, 17 Apr 2007 13:09:30 PDT Long story short I haven't worked this year as much as I needed to (& for once that's no exaggeration lol)... so I doubt I'll be on here for a while...

exams end on June 22nd; so if I haven't favourited, commented etc anything before then, you'll know why. I already have 109 deviations to look at after only 1 or 2 days... I don't intend to start looking through them all right now; it's 9pm & I still have work to finish before I go to bed.

So I'll be disappearing for a while, but I'll be back at the end of June

hugs for all!

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/12482859/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/12482859/ Fri, 06 Apr 2007 11:19:13 PDT
]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/12451692/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/12451692/ Wed, 04 Apr 2007 01:47:19 PDT
All my life I've been "the best" at something & since I started my current school (last yr) I haven't been the best at anything...

I reached my full GCSE potential. I know I couldn't have done any better than I did & that feels great. But then the AS's... 2A and 2B is amazing for AS level, but I know I could have got 4A's if I just tried. 7 more marks (2 in maths & 5 in physics) would have got me 4A's. I know this yr I'm perfectly capable of 3A in the A levels but at the minute I'm sitting on 3B. That's perfectly good; I see nothing wrong in getting B's, but like I said I know I'm perfectly capable of 3A's if I just TRY. Thats the bit I'm having trouble with.

Then there's music... I had to give up violin lessons this yr because I was getting so behind in schoolwork & I couldn't fit everything in. Most people who have been playing for 10yrs are at least WORKING for grade 8 (the highest grade) if they haven't already got it. I failed gd6 the first time round. I haven't even got gd7. I wouldn't care so much if so many of my friends didn't play the violin.

Driving... loads of my friends are passing their test. I started learning over a yr & a half ago & I'm still learning. One of my friends started learning under a yr ago & passed a month ago. Many more of my friends passed in shorter spaces of time. Nobodys rubbing it in my face tho, so I've that to be thankful for.

I just get so jealous so easily. I've always been the best at something & now I feel like I'm the best at nothing. It's got steadily worse since Primary School...
P7: McClure Music Cup (best musical girl... in my yr at my school)
GCSE: straight A's with one little B
A Level: sitting atm on 3B's
I'm trying, I'm really really trying; but if I don't reach my full potential I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I sound so horrible; as if I have to be better than everyone else at everything else; I just get jealous when I'm really trying & not getting anywhere. Last yr was the first yr I've been physically sick with stress (thankfully it was at the start of my 2wk break in exams) & I'm even less prepared this yr. I can't afford to be sick this yr coz my exams are so close together (ie my longets break is 3 days, not 2wks... eek).

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/12201901/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/12201901/ Fri, 16 Mar 2007 04:09:15 PDT
My first part was with the Senior Orchestra about half way through the first half; we played the Pines of Rome composed by Ottorino Respighi; to everyones amazement it went almost perfectly (we'd never played the whole way through it in rehearsals)

Then just before the Band, I was in Trad Group. I love Trad Group. We played Eleanor Plunkett by Turlough O'Carolan (during which Ciara had a beeeautiful solo on her harp), followed by the American Wake reels (from Riverdance) by Bill Whelan. I love the reels because they're so fast & energetic. Also such a crowd pleaser! I got a huge cramp in my toes though during them, which wasn't fun, but I survived! lol

The I got changed at the interval into 'concert dress' (basically anything black) for the second half. The Senior Chorus (pretty much the whole of the senior school), soloists & orchestra (helped out by past pupils & members of the Ulster Orchestra, including my violin teacher who I sat beside) performed Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. It is simply amazing. There are a number of tricky parts that I still can't get, but the surprising thing (that really freaked me out in the best possible way) is that I actually did most of it from memory! Then after all the clapping, cheering & Mexican waves (lol) we did an encore of Tempus Est Ioncundum (the 22nd movement).

I can't believe I'll never again be on stage with any school. I've been in school choirs since I could read, and I've been in orchestras for the past ten years. I've worked my way up from school assembly halls, to the Ulster Hall, to the Waterfront Hall.

It is the end of an era & I hate that.

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/12091926/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/12091926/ Wed, 07 Mar 2007 11:25:52 PST
TYPE YOUR FIRST NAME WITH YOUR...

1. FINGERS: gemma

2.CHIN: te3ujiujq

3.ONE FINGER, EYES CLOSED: gekks

4.ELBOW: gemma

5.NOSE: gemma

6.PALM: ghemma

hhmmm better than I thought... little concerned about my chin's attempt tho lol

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/11946800/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/11946800/ Sat, 24 Feb 2007 11:24:49 PST
The way the light is positioned meant that most of the stops were in half-light only; it was really just the keys & music that got the full beam from the lightbulb, which really added to the peaceful atmosphere; it was so calming & relaxing even just to sit up there & soak everything in... can't wait to play more

Thanks to a friend, the organ was set to play its quietest (I lack confidence when people are listening) but maybe one day I'll be able to blast out something so loud that the pigeons will fly off the grounds...

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/11908863/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/11908863/ Wed, 21 Feb 2007 13:40:07 PST
I've heard that one way to deal with stress is to take a step back, relax & then try to start working again... every time I try to relax I can't help thinking of how much work I should be doing & I end up not relaxing at all...

any other tips would be much appreciated. xx

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/11882471/ http://writing-the-WORLD.deviantart.com/journal/11882471/ Mon, 19 Feb 2007 13:42:47 PST
It'll mainly be poetry but there may be some prose as well if I ever find the time and the concentration!

I'm open to comments, remarks, suggestions etc etc; I'm just an amateur poet who struggles to find inspiration half the time... when it comes, it comes though.

]]> ~writing-the-WORLD