deviantART: by:wuju

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~wuju stuff... n... stuff.... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/11404115/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/11404115/ Thu, 11 Jan 2007 21:32:06 PST
lol.

im sick, and right now im loopy cos of the cold meds. i havent been this sick in a while, i can barely keep food down. ooooh well.

id like to be a bit less busy, i want to finish working on the bot Sironah for the chatroom

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]]> ~wuju stupid, stupid, stupid http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10968580/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10968580/ Wed, 06 Dec 2006 05:40:12 PST
i thought i was doing a good thing. now it seems that im "taking over"

i wont want to. not my place. not at all. i dont want to take over, i just wanted to help.

fucking idiot. im going to finish the work i promised and leave. better off without me.

should never have opened my mouth.

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]]> ~wuju damn snake.... wtf? http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10968174/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10968174/ Wed, 06 Dec 2006 04:36:30 PST how hard is it for 3 people to search a 10 gallon tank for a 6 inch snake??
apparently,... its very hard. we searched it for a combined total of 3 hours or so...

we tore the house apart, picked through everything with a fine tooth comb, took everything out of my room, all my clothing wound up in the bathtub because we shook every article out and threw it in there. i slept on the floor for a few days, cried myself to sleep, hated myself with a passion

where was he???
you guessed it. 3 or 4 fucking days later.... HE IS IN THE CAGE IN THE DIRT WE ALREADY LOOKED THROUGH

im so glad hes home, the little shit

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]]> ~wuju fucking retarded idiot bitch http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10923017/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10923017/ Sat, 02 Dec 2006 09:15:08 PST
im beating myself up so bad... i know this has to be my fault somehow. how do i have a 6 inch snake in 1110 square feet of apartment??

if we dont find him, i know hes going to die. i feel so horrible....

i feel like such a bad snake mommy. im such a fucking retard.

ps - i dont know if im going to feel up to even LOOKING at the bot's script, muchless talking in chat. ill leave her running, but sont expect anything

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]]> ~wuju fucking people http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10892812/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10892812/ Wed, 29 Nov 2006 16:33:48 PST
i fucking hate that word. i was hurting myself loooonnnnng before "emo" was the "thing" to be.... for fucks sake, i was hurting myself before it was "cool" to be a goth and cut yourself.. expose it to the world... whatever.

my network of scars i only show to people i can trust... and that takes ALOT of trust. my parents dont even see all of them. granted, some are in places not appropriate for them to see, but still. i dont even fully trust my PARENTS to see whats going on. most of my friends dont KNOW i SI... they know i was in the mental hospital for a while... some know it was because i had two seperate and detailed plans on how to kill myself...

this club is the only group of people i trust to talk to about this shit... why? cos this club is the only place that isnt going to see my hidden scars and label me.. "oh, youre so goth"... "oh, youre so emo"....

so... to all of you that want to place this label on me or my friends, FUCK YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!!! Its pricks like you that make so many of us afraid to seek professional help. fuck you, and fuck off.

Edit: aww.... the medal that =shadowed-angel made for me, and the journal entry, just shocked me to the core... and made my horrible mood go away. thanks guys...

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http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10718653/ Tue, 14 Nov 2006 01:20:38 PST
andi missed out on a free cage.

but i got 2 new cute snakes.

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]]> ~wuju "goodbye sweetheart" http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10630270/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10630270/ Sun, 05 Nov 2006 21:02:48 PST
he really wants to die now... i can understand. hes my great-grandpa... im lucky, how many people get to be around their great grandparents into their 20's?

but it hurts to see him go. i visited him today. it feels like a piece of me is dying too. i feel so empty right now

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]]> ~wuju an interesting day at the rainbow bridge http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10511407/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10511407/ Wed, 25 Oct 2006 20:55:28 PDT
Rainbow Bridge is a place of both peace and anticipation as departed pets await their beloved owners. There are plenty of things to keep them contented while they wait: trees you can't get stuck in, endless meadows, splashing streams, thickets perfect to hide in for pounce-attack games. But one day the residents noticed some rather...unusual newcomers started to arrive...

The koalas and the kangaroos slipped in rather quietly, but then came the bearded dragons, the skinks and the goannas. The influx of snakes startled an entire family of cats up a tree. Pythons, cobras, tiger snakes, brown snakes and even fierce snakes. There were so many at one point, it seemed the ground itself was alive with writhing. A burly wombat shouldered his way through the crowd and plopped down in a shady spot, barely missing a Jack Russell terrier who yapped indignantly as he abandoned his position.

And then the crocodiles showed up.

Finally, a Great Dane managed to get up enough nerve to approach one of the reptillian giants.

"Um....excuse me," he said hesitantly. "But why are you all here?"

The croc dropped her jaw and laughed. "Same as you, mate," she said. "Waitin for someone who loved us."

The dogs, cats, gerbils and other "typical pets" looked at each other in confusion, then at the plethora of weird, ugly and
downright deadly creatures assembled. Who on Earth could possibly love some of those faces?

"I see him!" shouted a green mamba from his vantage point in one of the trees. A cacophony of squeeks, hisses, bellows and roars erupted as the mob surged forward toward a lone human walking across the field toward the bridge. The other animals managed to catch a glimpse of him before he was overwhelmed by the crowd.

"CRIKEY!" he shouted joyously right before he was bowled over by the wombat.

"Well I'll be," said a Persian as she tidied up her fur. "It's that Aussie my human liked to watch on TV. Had to be the craziest human on the whole planet."

"Oh, please," remarked a echidna as he hurried by. "Is it really that crazy to passionately love something God made?"

~posted by a fan on the Crocodile Hunter website~

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]]> ~wuju ARRRGHH!!!!! FUCK MY JOB!!!!!!!!!!! http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10485598/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10485598/ Mon, 23 Oct 2006 10:09:40 PDT yes, my boss and i are friends, but i think im going to be changing that right quick. shes being a real bitch right now. how fucking hard is it to remember that except for tuesdays, i can work every day night shift???? and mornings weekends too?! for crying the fuck out loud, she fucking schedualed me to work 8-4 fuckin mornin manager, person in charge, for TODAY!!! and its my fault that i didnt show up because i was at school!

"its your responsability to check and make sure your schedual is correct" well YEAH.. but its also her responsability to make the scedual correctly! i didnt check cos i ASSUMED id be working a night shift, i stopped by work on my way home from school to check waht time i was supposed to come in. evan, the guy who was supposed to be there 3-close, got called in, and now i DONT work, at ALL today. shes thinking about suspending me.

what the fuck. there have been shitloads of times ive had to cancel tehrapy sessions for work for her, and also i dropped classes, and went from full student to ONE CLASS ONLY for her to open my fuckin availability for her, and now this shit? fuck that. im looking for a new job. fuck round table. i dont need this crap.

ok. i feel better.

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]]> ~wuju hmm http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10480105/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10480105/ Sun, 22 Oct 2006 19:30:23 PDT
i havent cut in about a week... maybe more? i dont know

still so interested in gus. it hurts, n sucks somethin bad. why'd i have to be so interested in someone so much older? im so afraid to talk to him, its stupid. *sigh*

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]]> ~wuju hmm http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10343165/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10343165/ Tue, 10 Oct 2006 01:01:39 PDT
I want to start biking to work, but before I can I need a light for my bike. Its around a 16-20 mile bike ride to work. If I can do this every day, to and from.. I should start to get into shape quick.

I want to take up judo again. I miss it. Hearing my good friend, *AngelicPhantom talk bout her tae Kwan do, and seeing her excited, and having her tell me she did so GREAT makes me really want to get motivated again (thank you Becky). Perhaps I can finally belt up to brown? Perhaps I can finally take home the gold?

Im trying still pretty hard tog et a new job. I want a good solid job by the time my birthday comes around, Im going to be going to Michigan for sure, but my friend Louise and I might fly to GA to have a huuuuuge get together b-day bas for me n Rev, cos his b-day is the day after mine. Id finally get to meet Brett, Meg, and BW too, as well as Louise (and CHANCE!!! My adopted niece, who is a snake. Lol), and Rev, and mebbe I can convince gus to come along too. That would be nice, a big old BBQ. Oh yeah, id get to meet Max, the beautiful rescue burm whose markings spell mom or wow depending on how you look at him.

I been a good job, better than what I got, for that.

Whats strange, is that while I dont find myself crying depressed, I find myself listless, idle, and thinking about my death, in an almost detached manner. It somewhat chills me.

Ohwell.

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]]> ~wuju ... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10288161/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10288161/ Wed, 04 Oct 2006 22:45:54 PDT kneel down and clear the stone of leaves,
i wander out where you can't see,
inside my shell, i wait and bleed"

i wish i could go away.

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]]> ~wuju The Llama Song http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10277460/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10277460/ Wed, 04 Oct 2006 00:26:46 PDT
there's a
and another little
fuzzy
funny
llama

cheesecake

brick
potato

i was once a treehouse
i lived in a
but i never saw the way
the slayed the rake
i was only three years
but it told a tale
and now listen, little child
to the safety rail

did you ever see a
a
on the
's http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10139263/ Thu, 21 Sep 2006 04:27:42 PDT Listening to: sad songs (say so much)

please go look at this.....

it made me cry so hard. its something that steve would hav said. you know he would.

just when i think i am done crying, another beautiful memorial to my hero comes out.

will i ever stop crying?

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]]> ~wuju please http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10139171/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10139171/ Thu, 21 Sep 2006 04:08:25 PDT

it made me cry so hard. its something that steve would hav said. you know he would.

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]]> ~wuju ... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10138894/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10138894/ Thu, 21 Sep 2006 02:59:51 PDT

i think..... i want to own one.

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]]> ~wuju today/night http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10097240/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10097240/ Sun, 17 Sep 2006 02:21:51 PDT Listening to: Good Rats - Dropkick Murphys
Watching: Star Trek IV

SOOOOOOOOO.................... today was the PKD walk. i didnt go, i was going to be the only one walking, i didnt know where it was, and my dad was helping my grandfather move, so he wouldnt even have been there.

so, i was going to go on base to get a bottle of tequila signed by sammy hagar. but i lost my military id.

sooo... i went to berkely to Jaz'Han... to see Myra and Frankie, and Robert, Sage, JR, Danjo........ and Jason. my ex. i still love him. i think i always will. im glad we are friends. his wedding is next saturday. that hurts.

anyways... we all got to talking, and they did a clensing for me, i felt so much better after that... like all the negativity in me was washed out, which it was, and replaced with good energy. after buying some things to re-stock my altar, and visiting some more, Jason, Danjo and i left for Livermore. i followed them the short way to kat's coffee. some friends of ours were playing there. and what do you know.... i saw almost the entire gang from Bytes (Draggin Bytes Internet Cafe... "Livermore's Livingroom".... i still miss that place. i wanna re-open it for steve one day). it was so good to see all my old friends.

i have gone from "considering" moving to livermore when paramedic schools starts to definently gonna move.

i also met jason's fiancee..... when lali said that "jay and sara are here", i cringed. i expected alot of hurt. and yes, it did hurt... but i like her.

shes a good person, they look right together, and shes got to be one of the most fuckin kick ass people ive met lately (plus, i freakin love her smile). so im happy for jason, glad jason and i are still friends, and glad that sara and i could very possibly be friends. i wish the best for them both, i really do.

all-in-all.... i think it was the best day ive had since i got out of the hospital. that definently gave me the shove i needed to get out of my pit. i was smiling all day, since the clensing, and im still smiling. my heart is happy. i want to cry, but good healing happy tears, not sad ones. not hurt ones.

it feels like an immense weight has been lifted off of me. those guys are FAMILY. how can they not be? they are the most friendly, loving group of crazy ren-faire-going, caffeine-drinking, MMORPG-ing people out there. no wonder i love them all.

my thanks goes out to everyone here that has helped me the past week or so. without you all bolstering me and supporting me... i dont think id be this happy, even after today.

well... YESTERDAY, technically. its after midnight. so TODAY starts my count. this is day one with no SI. can i make it to 100 this time?

i hope so.

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~wuju the people here... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10087526/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10087526/ Sat, 16 Sep 2006 04:51:57 PDT Mood: Bawls...
Listening to: Getting Better (The Beatles)

kind of ironic, my song choice.

the people here... are, in a word, awesome. i was getting better slowly, but then i tripped, and fell. and fell. i landed in a hole, and at the bottom was a cesspool of my own self-hatred, inky darkness. i oly asked for help once, but it must have echoed. so many of you reached out with kind words, hugs and advice. one particularly sweet person wrote me a beautiful poem, something that made me cry happy tears for once, instead of sad, bitter and hurting tears.

i have to thank =and-she-cries for introducing me to this support network. it is easier with the support of people who really DO know what i am going through, instead of the doctors and nurses who nod their heads and say they understand. the only doctor that i truely feel understands is getting sent to afghanistan at the end of the month. this unsettles me, beucase changing doctors from a doctor you trust to someone new is a bit unsettling ANYWAYS, even more so when its a mental health professional.

im not out of the pit yet... but atleast im on the ladder and climbing out.

thank you to everyone that sent me a kind word, hug, or even kind though directed my way.

following with my current beatles moment, i have a quote:

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right

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]]> ~wuju ... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10066048/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10066048/ Thu, 14 Sep 2006 00:43:41 PDT Mood: Listening to: mad world - gary jules

i dont know what is wrong with me. so many nice people say such nice and beautiful things to me. it makes me feel happy for a bit. but i cant shake this feeling of self-worthlessness.

this utter blank hole in my psyche where my worth should be.

i cant stop crying when im at home. i cry. and cry. i do si, but i want to do more. the visions and nightmares of killing myself are coming back. i bling and see blood running from me, i blink and see my dead body floating down putah creek after having traveld down the glory hole.

i sleep and see my car crash into the center divide. i see myself get electrocuted. run over. watch my head get turned ito a canoe. whoever said you cant see yourself die in your sleep was a lying cockmongling son of a bitch. you can see your self die. i do.

why do i have to be ME?! i hate myself. why cant others open their eyes and see that too? if i were anyone else, they wouldnt miss me. the people ive become close to, wouldnt care. but i am me. so i feel guilty even thinking of death.

i dont even know if i want death, to tell you the truth. all i know is i dont care about life. MY life. i care bout others tho. my psych asks if i ever feel like im going to hurt people.

im going to be a firefighter. i save people. not hurt them.

and thats why i cant do another suicide attempt. it would hurt people.

god, i dont know what im thinking. i think i need to go call the crisis line. im surrounded by people who care, but i feel so alone.

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]]> ~wuju wtfe.... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10015294/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/10015294/ Sat, 09 Sep 2006 01:18:26 PDT Listening to: i guess thats why they call it the blues

you ever feel like life is a giant hammer that you keep slamming into your head, just becuase it feels so good to stop?

right now, all i want to do is lie down and never wake up. ive started to SI again. those of you who do or did know that you really cant stop. that SI makes you feel better about yourself. right now, i feel like a failure. a real big failure. and it hurts. here is why...

my father and i both have a genetic disease called Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD). it is incurable, tho it is is treatable. well, the symptoms are. you cant stop the kidneys from growing cystic tissue. last year my dad almost died. a few times. he was literally within minutes of death. thankfully, he had his old kidneys removed and he has a transplant that has lasted and thrived for six months.

there is the PKD research foundation, and they sponsor a walk... my dad and i walked last year, and planned to again this year. i couldnt even raise half od what we did last year. not even half. i feel like such a loser right now. i want to drink myself away, or sleep myself away, or give myself so many SI cuts and burns that i bleed too much and pass out. or just off a bridge. ive been crying most of the day. my dad cant walk this year, despite being on the team, becuase he has tendonitis. my best friend, who walked with us last year and was planning to walk agian, cant walk becuase her boss wont give her the day off. i dont want to walk by myself.

i treid to raise alot of money, i really did. i want research to help to find better treatments and prevention of the disease fully coming around. i know its not possible for me, but maybe for any kids i might have, in the future. im sorry. right now i feel like crawling into a hole. i feel so worthless, so.... so stupid. stupid for thinking i could, stupid for hoping i could make a difference.

i couldnt even raise the same ammount of money i raised last year.

the link is PKD foundation

thats to my personal page but you cang et to the main page from there. i think im going to go to bed now. maybe ill choke on my own tongue in my seep, and i can finally stop hitting myself in the head with the hammer called life.

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]]> ~wuju noooooooo http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9957168/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9957168/ Sun, 03 Sep 2006 22:46:53 PDT Listening to: im so lonesome i could cry (zz hill)

steve irwin, one of my idols, has died!

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]]> ~wuju wtf...? neat! http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9853497/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9853497/ Fri, 25 Aug 2006 17:28:31 PDT Listening to: im so lonesome i could cry (zz hill)

i... just got a serious offer from a photographer in san fransisco.

a serious modeling offer.

from a BONDAGE (*squee!*) photographer.

im going to accept.

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]]> ~wuju glory hole http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9810977/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9810977/ Tue, 22 Aug 2006 00:54:34 PDT Listening to: im so lonesome i could cry (zz hill)

Tonight was a bad night. I decided to look at an old picture of the glory hole, one of the ways I wanted to kill myself. I guess one of the ways I still want to. I wanted to jump in. I still want to jump in. I thought I could handle the images. I cant. just seeing the image makes the adrenaline rush, makes my heart pound.. I get so scared. So very scared. I dont know what would happen if I went there right now. I dont think id come back, thats what. Im so alone, so scared right now. I feel like cutting I AM cutting. My arms are so red right now with smeared blood. My roommate doesnt know. My sister doesnt know. I'm just sitting here crying and cutting. Im cutting for even thinking about going to the glory hole, because I know what would happen if I did. All those times I almost jumped would become a moot point. I would finish it. God, Im so alone isnt that ironic? Im alone in a house that has 15 rats, 26 baby rats, 16 mice 6 snakes 5 birds a roommate and a sister. And Im ALONE. I dont know what to do right now. I cant even stop crying. How stupid is that.

I think im going to go put a shirt on, hope I dont bleed through and go to bed.

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]]> ~wuju *sigh* http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9799739/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9799739/ Mon, 21 Aug 2006 02:20:28 PDT Listening to: mad world (gary jules)

this... just kinda sucks, i suppose. school starts tomorrow (technically.. today. just havent been to bed yet). i want to go back, i really do, but... but, but BUT im afraid of overexerting myself again. im already cutting myself again. arms and neck, mostly. i wonder if i will wind up back in the hospital?

on the bright side, the bitchy pregnant rat i had had her babies. no wonder she was so bitchy. id be bitchy too if i was carrying 13 babies around! these babies are mostly feeder rats, however, one baby stuck me as different from the rest. so im going to keep an eye on him.her and possibly keep him/her to continue my stock lines. instead of being pink all over like the litter mates, it has a black nose already. worth keeping for future breeding stock. but again, the rest are feeders... when they get peach-fuzz size, 6 are going to get killed and frozen, and the rest when they open their eyes.

yes... the rats are my pets, but their babies are food. for MY babies, my snakes. the vicious circle of life, i suppose.

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]]> ~wuju FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9778721/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9778721/ Sat, 19 Aug 2006 03:31:15 PDT Listening to: mad world (gary jules)

alright y'all... remember that donation page i told you about? HERE IS THE LINK..... [link]

please go there and donate! i want to raise money to research PKD so that my kids dont have to go through what i will, and what my dad DID go through!

our goal is to raise 3k! please help us out!

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]]> ~wuju ... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9772434/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9772434/ Fri, 18 Aug 2006 14:03:37 PDT Mood: *sigh*
Listening to: mad world (gary jules)

after bills paid... we have about 50$ to buy food. that has to last us till AFTER RENT.

looks like belt-tightening time. no more ac. no more fans. eat at work cos its free, dont eat at home unless its a day off

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]]> ~wuju baby steps? http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9766785/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9766785/ Fri, 18 Aug 2006 00:50:35 PDT Mood: *sigh*
Listening to: mad world (gary jules)
Watching: schindler's list

last night was not good. i am rennovating an old dresser into a dual set for the ball pythons, and i cracked the wood frame of one door while screwing it together. i got so frustrated. i wanted to cry. all that night i had been making little mistakes and forcing myself not to hit mysef. this time, tho, i did. i started to yell at myself, and when i finally hit the breaking point i slugged my face, but that wasnt hard enough for me. i took the split piece and *whack*... broke part of it off on my head after about the 3rd hit.

im sorry.

i feel like i am making real progress, then i do something stupid like that. i went almost a month without cutting, then fucked it up about 5 days ago. i went two weeks without hitting... and fucked it up again. its been 2 months since i last burned. what am i going to do to fuck that one up?

=and-she-cries introduced me to =Self-Injury-Club

i wish i had had this one a long time ago. hell, i wish i had had this even a few months ago. i also wish i had known her a few months ago. its nice to have people to talk to who KNOW what this is, and who dont sit there and tell me that i am seeking attention. who can tell me "i know, ive been there. here, use my shoulder", and actually mean it, becuase they actually have been there and arent talking out of their arses.

after last night, i woke up today really shitty. my finger hurt pretty badly (dont piss off a pregnant rat), and some events have been depressing me. its funny how a good event can depress me.

i found out my boyfriend of about a year is considering asking my parents for permission to as ME for my hand. this makes me happy - HE makes me happy. i was looking at wedding gowns today... being stupid and foolish. jason first has to get his butt back here to cali. if he doesnt make it by the end of sept, its over between us. im so tire dof waiting for him, and SOOOOOOO tired of broken promises about visits. he didnt even make it to my graduation.

but, i love him. i guess thats whats got me on edge lately. conflicting emotions about that.

as well as my boss accidently stepped on my "im not good enough for anything" toes. thats why i cut myself. that, and i was mad at myself for wanting to get yet ANOTHER pet. i can afford another snake, and i can afford another rat, thats no issue. i can also afford the time to care for them, again, no issue at all. but the fact i wanted to, combined with eva making me feel as worthless as a pile of dog crap in the middle of the road... i cut again. my arms, my neck.

lately, when i cut, its been my neck. near my jugular. i dont know why, either. cutting my arms just doesnt feel right to me anymore, not since i got out of the hospital. not since for the first time, the cuts didnt heal right. i now have long, ugly red keloid scars. bumps you can feel under a towel. ridges... so now i cut my neck. it doesnt make sense.

this is an unusually long and personal rant for me. i guess ive just been doing too much thinking lately. i should really stop that.

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]]> ~wuju ungh... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9718269/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9718269/ Sun, 13 Aug 2006 21:06:47 PDT Mood: ungh....
Listening to: mad world (gary jules)
Reading: The Barbed Coil (STILL... oops.)
Watching: schindler's list

i dont believe i have ever felt this shitty since the academy... (another can of worms, lets not open for now)
a good friend had this up on her journal... so i stole it. why the hell not, y'know?

The Colors of Me...

RED
Closest red thing to you? a bandana... its red with little cows on it. its on my head.
Last thing to make you angry? myself.
Do you have a temper? yeah... i have a nasty temper. but i usually take it out on myself.
Are you a fan of romance? whats the use?

ORANGE
Closest orange thing to you? my arm & hammer deoderant. yes.. im using a man's deoderant! it was on sale... and im poor as fuck right now.
Do you like to burn things? ...incense...
Dress up for Halloween? sometimes...
Are you usually a warm-hearted person? yeah, i guess so
Do you have anything against blonde hair? nope, tho i am a redhead
Are you usually full of energy? hah. only if im on a caffeine high.

YELLOW
Closest yellow thing to you? the label on a bottle of Yellow Tail Shirraz. decent enough wine
The happiest time[s] of your life? graduating from the fire academy, even tho the fire academy was one of the hardest most depressing things ive ever been through.
Favorite holiday? christmas, i like to give to other people... and thanksgiving. i like to cook the turkey
What makes you smile? my snakes and my rats.
Are you a coward? no... im foolishly "brave"
Do you burn or tan? im irish. im a crispy critter in the sun.

GREEN
Closest green thing to you? my Curad Scar Therapy patch box
Do you care about the environment? ...DUH?! im a pagan
Are you a lucky person? far from it
Do you always want what you can't have? yeah, i tend to want things out of my reach.
Do you like being outdoors? yes. absolutely. especially in the rain.

BLUE
Closest blue thing to you? my water cup. its a blue and white insulated things. only water goes in it.
Are you good at calming people down? for the most part.
Do you like the sea? yeah. its endless, dreary, but always changing.
Last thing to make you cry? lol. im so close to snapping again that anything makes me cry. i think the last thing that made me cry was me being afraid of my mom being angry at ME if my sister got herself a rat.
Are you a logical thinker? nope
Can you sleep easily? if im on my meds, yes

VIOLET
Closest violet thing to you? a plastic fishtank decoration... its a dragon.
Like being treated to expensive things? not really. why spend 50$ on one thing when you can spend 5$ on 10 things that are almost the same...? or, for that matter, why spend 125$ on one dinner out, when you can spend 125$ on 20 dinners at home?
Do you like mysterious things? i... guess...?
Favorite type of chocolate? milk chocolate... with toffee in it.
Ever met anyone in royalty? depends on what "royalty" youre talking about. cos ive gotten drunk with "queen elizabeth" from a few rennaissance faires... with "queen victoria" too....
Are you creative? sometimes

PINK
Closest pink thing to you? UGH. i hate pink. it would have to be a clear pink cup.
Do you like sweet foods? mmmmmmmmmm...... yes.
Like play-fighting? no, i like real-fighting. Judo tournaments are the best.
Are you sensitive? overly.
Do you like punk music? sometimes

WHITE
Closest white thing to you? my inhaler
Would you say you're innocent? faaaaar from it
Always try to keep the peace? sometimes.. again, im a redhead.
How do you imagine your wedding? outside, somewhere in scotland.
Are you afraid of going to the doctors or dentists? dentists? no... doctors? depends. ive only been afraid once, the time i admitted myself for mental help.

BLACK
Closest black thing to you? my ps2
Ever enjoy hurting people? only when they hurt someone i love / care about first.
Are you sophisticated or silly? stupid
Afraid of death? no... not at all.
Would you like to go to space? yes. if i could stay there, it... ]]> ~wuju announcement! http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9714760/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9714760/ Sun, 13 Aug 2006 15:20:32 PDT Mood: blahhhhhh
Listening to: Thick as a Brick (Jethro Tull)
Reading: The Barbed Coil (STILL... oops.)
Watching: Clan of the Cave Bear

pizza dough turns VERY sticky when it is allowed to warm up and rise.

*********************

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Member of { ~The-Ninth-Cave~ }

]]> ~wuju Bleh... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9702858/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9702858/ Sat, 12 Aug 2006 13:43:08 PDT

my Walk for a Cure fundraising is at a stand still. that kinda hurts/sucks. i want to raise alot of money this year, damnit all. ahh well. time to go pester the local businesses.

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Member of { ~The-Ninth-Cave~ }

]]> ~wuju It's that time of year again... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9322011/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9322011/ Mon, 10 Jul 2006 16:25:48 PDT
Last year, my dad and I participated in the PKD Foundations Walk for a Cure, and raised a little over $1,000 dollars. This year, we are at it again, but our goal is set to $3,000. Im asking you guys for even a little bit of help every single dollar helps.

But, even BETTER, if you're in or near the northern California area, or plan to be in September, you can join my team yourself, and walk with us.

thanks for taking the time to read this

EDIT: i cannot post the links, it WILL NOT LET ME. if you are interested in donating to help me out, PLEASE, send me a message and i will email you!!

*********************

Member of (*Apophysis*)

]]> ~wuju An update on things. http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9122043/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/9122043/ Tue, 20 Jun 2006 02:12:57 PDT
Since I last posted, a lot has happened. My dad had his kidneys REMOVED completely, AND has gone through a very successful transplant, he is now 3 months with his new kidney and doing VERY well.

I have been doing mixed. In January, I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder which has made my life hell since my first bout of depression (grade 6). I was cutting severely, burning, hitting, and contemplating suicide. I was put on Prozac, which worked for a while, and I started looking for a therapist.

I also started the Firefighter 1 Academy in January. It was hard. It was the hardest motherfucking thing I have ever done. But I didnt give up, despite severe claustrophobia (which I got over), and REALLY bad bronchitis that lasted most of the academy. I am now a firefighter, ready to be employed, and I am seeking jobs (volunteer or full time paid, I dont care I still have paramedic school to go through)

Other than THAT I moved out at the end of march, I am now living in Dixon, and loving it. I am living with one of my best friends, and my sister. We now own a complete ZOO lol. 4 snakes, 9 rats, 8 mice and 4 parakeets. The rats and mice ARE pets, but they are breeders I am breeding mice and rats for my babies, the snakes. My snakes are Hades, Hephaestus, Demeter and Voldemort. The rats are Plato, Ariadne, Tunare, Vesta, Morta, Nona, Decuma (she just had her first litter! Awwwwww!), Kitiara and Cerridwen. The parakeets are Hypnotique and Triple Black (mine), and Hennessy and Jack Daniels (my sisters).

Right after graduation, my bi-polar disorder for the best of me. Prozac was not working at all anymore, and I was contemplating MANY things I should not have been. After an incredibly bad bout of cutting, I was put in the hospital. I stayed a week there, battling the mental desire to form a permanent solution to a temporary problem. My medicines were switched around, and I am doing MUCH better. My new therapist and psychologist are MUCH better, and I am really getting the help I need now. What helped me pull through was the support network I didnt even realize I had in my family and friends, and the fact that I want, more than anything, to be a firefighter. I want to save lives. (Ironic, isnt it? I want to save lives, but get rid of my own).

I currently am waiting for fall semester to start, as I will be assistant instructor for the Wildland Fire Academy, and the Assistant Supplies Director for the Firefighter 1 Academy (as well as unofficial photographer and videographer). Along with all of that, I will still be working at Round Table pizza, until I can find a job in a fire department (or perhaps with an ambulance company until I get my paramedics license)

I will try to post here more often, but I am sorry, they will be MOSTLY images of my snakes and perhaps some other nature photos. I just dont have the time anymore to devote to my art, which I miss. Perhaps I will kick out a terragen or fractal here and there.

Like last year, there is a Polycystic Kidney Disease Walk for a Cure, and I will be forming a team, and setting up for donations, etc. this year, UNLIKE last year, I will be holding several fundraisers to get the money. I hope to raise 3,000 for the walk this year.

Wish me luck.

*********************

Member of (*Apophysis*)

]]> ~wuju Walk for a Cure http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/6396918/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/6396918/ Fri, 02 Sep 2005 12:02:53 PDT
This is why I am coming to YOU, my friends. My dad and I are walking for a cure this year. Please, join our team and walk with us in Petaluma on the 18th, or if you cannot walk, donate, or perhaps repost this into YOU bulletins, every single dollar helps. Thanks for taking the time to read this

gersonal&fr_id=1123"my Walk for PKD page!

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]]> ~wuju hes home http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/5672540/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/5672540/ Fri, 17 Jun 2005 01:05:29 PDT

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]]> ~wuju Devious Journal Entry http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/5615123/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/5615123/ Sat, 11 Jun 2005 02:19:12 PDT
and i have my tongue pierced.

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]]> ~wuju 21 http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/4905810/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/4905810/ Fri, 25 Mar 2005 01:41:50 PST

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]]> ~wuju 2 more days http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/4887033/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/4887033/ Wed, 23 Mar 2005 01:37:36 PST

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]]> ~wuju home http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/4690309/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/4690309/ Mon, 28 Feb 2005 06:39:44 PST
but hes not in the clear yet.

he still has a VERY controlled diet, as to what he can or cannot eat or drink, and he will have intraveneous antibodies for the next MONTH.

but you know how well people heal when they are at home, with all the vies of those who love them

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]]> ~wuju Dad... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/4667565/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/4667565/ Fri, 25 Feb 2005 03:17:20 PST
A lot of shit has been going on. Bear with me as I tell you my story. About a week ago, my dad got sick. No big deal. Then he got a fever. He went to the ER nothing wrong, have some cold meds, get some sleep. Whatever. His fever got worse as time went on. Finally, on Tuesday, with a high of almost 105 (104.7 I think), my mom managed to nag my father into going to the ER again. And guess what? They admitted him. He had a blood infection. Had he waited 12-24 hours longer, and I would be sitting here crying and helping my mother make funeral arrangements instead. So you can guess that it was a BAG infection of his blood. It was due to a popped cyst in his liver. Cysts on the liver are a common side effect of a genetic disease we both share, called polycystic kidney disease. For more information on that, you can go to the following sites: ( [link] ) ( [link] ) ( [link] ). I believe some may have photos, Im not sure, but if they do... dont look at them on a full stomach. Ok? And if you are one of those people who think I must be a whacked-out nut job who read about it on an MD website, and only THINKS my dad and I have PKD: FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER. My dad and I can trace the PKD disease back about 5 generations, and list who, aside from the directly-related-to-me, had it in each generation. So you can go fucking sit on a crowbar and rotate till your ass explodes.

Anyway, he was in pretty bad shape. Fevers and chills, normal temp rangers, and then fever spikes. My dad has pretty much had every head doc visit him, from micro-biology, nephrology, radiology, the head of the infectious organism area, everything. You name it, except the cardiologist and the neurologist, really. So far, my dad has been in for over a week. More like a week and a half. The docs have run all sorts of tests, from taking blood out, separating the white blood cells and tagging them with a radioactive isotope, and re-injecting them to see where they concentrate, to countless MRIs ( [link] ) and CT-scans ( [link] ). He is tired all the time, and has lost more weight than he really should. It scares me something awful. I found out today that his kidneys are failing, very rapidly. He has about 3 weeks left until he NEEDS to go on dialysis. It was, before he got sick, a target of around one and a half to two years.

Im praying for him to my gods and goddesses, and I ask that if you read this, I hope you pray too. I love my father very, very much, and I cant stand to see him so sick. I also have a hard time with my mother it hurts more to see her so depressed and sad than it does to see my father in the hospital. We all take heart in the fact that the hospital we go to is one of the best. We are a military family; we go to David Grant Medical, just inside of Travis AFB. We take heart in the fact that he IS getting better, slowly. But its hard for me to remain strong and hopeful, with the knowledge that my grandfather (dads dad) died in his early 50s because of a PKD-related blood infection, and he was on dialysis. PKD has a very, very wide range of side effects and symptoms, but they all usually run the same within the family. My dad is 50, about to be on dialysis, and has a blood infection. And I have PKD too.

Anyway it is time for this long rant to close. i need to get some sleep tonight.

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]]> ~wuju sleepy http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/4659344/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/4659344/ Thu, 24 Feb 2005 04:19:40 PST ~wuju INSANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/4007627/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/4007627/ Mon, 06 Dec 2004 23:23:04 PST here's a llama
there's a llama
and another little llama
fuzzy llama
funny llama
llama llama
duck
llama llama
cheesecake
llama llama
tablet
brick
potatoe
llama
llama llama
mushroom llama
llama llama
duck
i was once a treehouse
i lived in a cake
but i never saw the way
the orange slayed the rake
i was only three years dead
but it told a tale
and now listen, little child
to the safty rail
did you ever see a llama
kiss a llama
on the llama
llama's llama
tastes of llama
llama llama
duck
half a llama
twice the llama
not a llama
farmer
llama
llama in a car
alarm a llama
llama llama
duck
is that how its told now?
is it all so old?
it is made of lemon juice?
doorknob
ankle
cold
now my song is getting thin
i've run out of luck
time for me to retire now
and become a duck

-Burton Earny { [link] }

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]]> ~wuju Practicles http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3955712/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3955712/ Tue, 30 Nov 2004 12:17:45 PST

wish me luck!!

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Go visit them! Comment! Love them! They are my friends ]]> ~wuju Hmmm..... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3943876/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3943876/ Sun, 28 Nov 2004 23:23:32 PST WILL be a certified EMT-b. YAAAAAY! That means that now I most likely will NOT be going into the Navy anymore, and i most likely will NOT become a veterinarian anymore. I like this, its what feels good. I want to work my way up to EMT-paramedic, thats my new long-term goal, I think. I am going to start looking for any job openings for EMTs. Which means I might be moving

Where to? I dunno. Depends. Right now, as far as I know, the only people hiring are in Vallejo - which isn't that bad of a commute. So I would stay here. We will see where the tide takes me, hmm?

As for what else is going on... I'm kinda freaked. Thanksgiving day, i get a phone call:

"is Tracy there?"
"yeah this is her."
"hey, whats up? its so-and-so*"
"umm... who?"
"so-and-so"
"where do i know you from?"
"guess i got the wrong number, sorry"
"yeah.. i think you do"

no big deal, wrong numbers happen all the time... right? ooooooooo-keyyy. so this MORNING, i get a call that wakes me up:

"tracy?"
"who the fuck is this?"
"devin"
"what the fuck?"
"are you in bed?"
"yeah. you fuckin woke me up. i only know one devin, i work with him, and he doesnt have my number. who the hell is this?"
"devin."
"okay... devin who?"
*click*

ok, whatever. i put the phone down. but i make a habit of looking at who is calling me before i answer, and the number was REALLY bothing the crap out of me. so i checked my call history. same number as the person who called on thanksgiving. But it wasnt a "devin" who called for me on thanks giving... i dont remember the name (hence the so-and-so*), but i do know it was not "devin". so i got out of bed and looked up the area code. it made me shiver. "Porterville" was on that list of cities in that area code.

see... i only know 2 people, for sure, in that area code. My ex, and his roommate. His roommate hasnt given my number out, and anyways, she and i are cool. that leaves my ex. it kinda worries me. i don't think he would have given my number out, and i really highly doubt he even remembers my number anyways. but it still freaks me out. did i meet someone and give them my number while i was dating him? and they are only now calling me? i dont know. but as soon as i call that number, i get an answering machine. and i cant have a 4-1-1 trace on that number... its a "cell phone or unlisted number"... if this person keeps calling me... and ESPECIALLY if i get a different fucking name, im paying the 100+ dollars for a private line trace, and THEN im going to get a restraining order filed, and THEN i am going to change my number! unless someone can seriously tell me that i have a VERY overactive imagination, and that im stressing over nothing...

...anyone...? please?

yeah. im going to go to my friends house now and watch a movie, maybe drink a beer, and then im coming home and going to bed. so much for my sanity.

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in my opinion, these artists are sadly underviewed....

Go visit them! Comment! Love them! They are my friends ]]> ~wuju Ahh.. http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3846221/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3846221/ Tue, 16 Nov 2004 00:40:53 PST
i cant wait. im doing VERY well in my EMT class, very close to certification!

and since i dont want to leave jason to go into the navy.... i have started to think about not joining the navy. or the service at all for that matter, so i can stay in california with him. he's worth it. but i do not know. we dont know what we are going to do bout me going into the service. it is a river we'll cross when we come to its banks, but for now?

EMT

i cant wait till semester is over. im going to start looking for serious employment with an ambulance service. maybe then i will make enough to move to livermore, where a good deal of my friends are (and, what a coincedence, jason lives there too )

im gonna go crawl into bed and try to get better. despite my sensei telling me to stay in good health, and jason telling me i wasnt allowed to get sick, and my best firends telling me i wasnt allowed, it looks as tho ive caught my mom and sister's cold.

yay

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Go visit them! Comment! Love them! They are my friends ]]> ~wuju Happiness... is good. http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3830246/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3830246/ Sun, 14 Nov 2004 02:52:59 PST

life has been interesting. and wonderful.

a few weeks ago, Draggin Bytes Internet Cafe closed. its a place that has been a second home for lots of people, a place to gather and be with friends for 7 years. On the closing night party, i got the numbers of ALOT of good friends. half a week later, one of them called me, he had the week off, wanted to know if i wanted to do anything, you know, meet up. we decided on meeting up for my next competition*, and we started talking alot... and later that week, like.. 2 or 3 days after the competition, we both had time off, so i drove over to spend time. by this time, im really interested, but twice as SHY as i was INTERESTED...

i needn't have been shy. he is interested too. and he treats me like im something to be cherished, makes me feel... well... nice. makes me care bout myself some, and makes me thing i might not be half bad looking. its such a wonderful, strange feeling to care bout someone, and realize that they actually care back, that they arent in it for just the sex, or for the thrill of fucking someone half their age, or knowing that deep down, they are really just trying to make their ex jealous, or something. its nice.

and for once in a very great while, i am happy. Jason makes me laugh. He makes me smile. and he makes me feel loved.

isnt that a nice feeling?

*the competition was in monterey, it was my third competition, and it was thusly the third silver medal i brought home. WHOOHOO

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Go visit them! Comment! Love them! They are my friends ]]> ~wuju things http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3558280/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3558280/ Sun, 10 Oct 2004 15:18:01 PDT
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Go visit them! Comment! Love them! They are my friends ]]> ~wuju *sigh* http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3492300/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3492300/ Sat, 02 Oct 2004 01:23:36 PDT
Bout three weeks ago, my dog Toby ( [link] ) got sick. We took him to the vets blood tests, physical, everythings A-OK, just need to give him soft boiled bland foods and some pills. So Toby gets better, perks up and then he stops eating again, and starts puking again.

3 weeks later, back to the vets. He has a mass in his abdomen we can feel its right the fuck there in the x-ray that wasnt there before. So now its off to the S.P.E.C. (Solano Pet Emergency Clinic) for an ultrasound they talk to my vet, we take Toby to UC Davis (the #1 vet school in the country). They take ultrasounds, and biopsy of the mass and liquid in his stomach, and stuff they scheduled him for exploratory surgery after they tell us that they just dont KNOW what it is. They sound positive about it, because it didnt reveal itself to be cancerous, viral or bacterial.well... we left Toby at UC Davis the vets wanted to make sure he stayed stable, since they didnt know what it was, even after 3 biopsies, and then the next day we got a call saying that he started to seizure that night, and that he was in the ICU, and that there was a good chance it was originated on his pancreas, due to a reexamination of his blood tests (he was found with very low sugar levels). and during exploratory surgery, if they found it to be so, they were gonna euthanize him on the table.... so i had to go say goodbye to Toby today, and that was hard because he was as full of life as ever, if not a bit scared and desperate to get out. We were allowed to take him for a small walk so he could use the bathroom, and he managed to get one whole full meal of cottage cheese and potatoes down without puking, and even though he wasnt really drinking much, he still had plenty of fluids from his IV in the ICU. i was kinda scared all day, but UCD is *the* best vet school in the country, so Im like... hes in the only hands that are better than our family vet's, because THESE hands trained my family vet.

I wound up going to this rock shop to sit with the crystals there and talk to the guy who runs it (hes a fellow pagan). i guess a lot of bad stuff has been happening lately, and its all been in sets or multiples of 3 (3 weeks of sickness, 3 days of severe sickness, bout 3.3 hours of surgery, 3 days recovery time before hes gonna be allowed home). We talked for a good long while and i let the crystals voices calm me. its funny... usually if Im like, REALLY upset, i have to TRY to "hear" crystals, but today they were loud... and the guy who runs the shop knew i was coming too, because the crystals started feeling strange to him.

Anyways... after about 3-ish hours of surgery, we got a call. It wasnt at his pancreas... it was his liver. They removed MOST of it (leaving some due to concern about liver damage if they removed it all). The mass wrapped around, twined around and through, squeezed or pushed out of the way all his guts. It wove itself between his intestines, and around a kidney. They had to leave some on his liver for fear of damaging the liver, and they still dont know what it is. So hes in recovery... but it might have been all to waste if they cannot find a way to cure it, or stop it. They dont even know if its a fast growing benign, or a malignant cancerous tumor. The biopsy didnt even reveal that.

At least they were able to get rid of the fluids and the blood building up, get rid of most of the mass, and relieve pressure. They said he LOOKED less umm... strained. Watching my mom and my dad (who Ive only seen cry 3 times, ever) cry hurt almost as much as the thought of losing Toby. Im not ready to give up another dog only 4 years after giving up 2 in a 6 months span. Now i am just determined to be positive, but its hard to do that. Im trying my best to look at the WHOLE doughnut, but the hole keeps getting bigger, and theres less doughnut for me to see.

Im going to go cry now, and pray to Her that Toby makes it out OK in the end.

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http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3282260/ Sat, 04 Sep 2004 00:43:53 PDT
i love it.

my judo classes are really kicking my ass, and what with practicing OUT of class, with some classmates at the gym on base, its awesome. i am going to try to advance to my brown belt. if i can.

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Go visit them! Comment! Love them! They are my friends ]]> ~wuju whatever http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3245871/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3245871/ Mon, 30 Aug 2004 09:26:48 PDT who bought his subscription... i know hes seen it. and i know he has most likely seen my comment. ok. so its money wasted on a waasted effort. i was wasting my time. again. you'd think id have learned the first time... but nooooo. i had to go try to be friends again. whatever. i cant believe i miss him. but i do. i still love him too, but not in the way that i used to. not in the "oh yes ill marry you so you can keep getting your jollies fucking someone that much younger than you" blind kinda love. i love him cos he made me see what i def, DONT want. him. but that doesnt make sense.. atleast it doesnt make MUCH sense. i hate him, i wish he would die, i want his car to explode (WITH him in it). and at the same time, i miss him and i still love him. goddess only knows why... i dont want to be touched by him, unless its a friendly shake of the hand, i dont want to be near him unless its in public with alot of people around, i dont really want to talk to him unless its to ask where one of our mutual friends is at a ren faire, but yeah. i miss him. and love him. and hate him. i wish i could un-buy a subscription. so much for trying to be atleast friends with that asshat. whatever.

on the other hand, however, schools been keeping me busy... and work too!!

Sunday: work 4pm-12am
Monday: EMT-1 6pm-10pm
Tuesday: judo 8am-10:45am, anatomy(lect) 11am-12:20pm, anatomy(lab) 12:45pm-3:55pm, EMT-1 6pm-10pm
Wednesday: work 8am-4pm, judo 5pm-10(ish)pm
Thursday: judo 8am-10:45am, anatomy(lect) 11am-12:20pm, anatomy(lab) 12:45pm-3:55pm, work 5pm-12:30am
Friday: work 5pm-12:30am
Saturday work 5pm-12:45pm

studystudystudystudy! lol. i know it looks like alot, but DAMN im having fun. im getting certified soon!!! that means health insurance at work! whee!!! i cant wait for this semester to be over, cos then ill be a certified EMT-basic... ill get to help save lives. i cant wait. and to top that up tehre off, on friday, saturday, sunday and monday mornings i get up and run from 5-5:30 as a warm up, bike from 5:30-6:30 and do situps, crunches and pushups OR some weight lifting from 6:30-7. THEN i sleep. lol. i want to leave this stupid countyr so bad...

i know, i know "how unpatriotic"... right? WRONG! lol. i can pack my shit and move anywhere in the US, on a whim. i CANT, however, pack my shit up and move on a whim to... say... spain... germany... japan... that dont work. but in the service, i can live elsewhere that i couldnt live otherwise, then when i get out, i have the rest of my LIFE to live everywhere else in the US.

to all

and for now

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Member of (*Apophysis*)

in my opinion, these artists are sadly underviewed....

Go visit them! Comment! Love them! They are my friends ]]> ~wuju whee. http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3107578/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/3107578/ Thu, 12 Aug 2004 12:07:48 PDT
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Member of (~Apophysis*)

in my opinion, these artists are sadly underviewed....
:iconWyrin :
Go visit them! Comment! Love them! They are my friends ]]> ~wuju things... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/2878197/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/2878197/ Wed, 14 Jul 2004 06:29:29 PDT
It's all WAY overdue, and I apologize for my delay.

Tomorrow is the first time I go in by myself, an hour ahead of everyone else to recieve and order... that means i need my own key and passcode. I'm so afraid im gonna botch it and make the alarm company call my boss. LoL. And then Saturday?? I'm the only manager 'till opening - EEEEK! Let's hope i don't screw something up! It's so exciting/fun/scary being manager. But my co-workers are making it easy on me. I seem to already have their respect. I'm thankful for that.

There should be a new Wuju excerpt coming soon... does ANYONE here know how to create interesting, non-dorky-looking dialogue??? I need help! lol. All my dialogue looks so.... stupid.

Thats all for now

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Member of (*Apophysis*)

in my opinion, these artists are sadly underviewed....
:iconwyrin :
Go visit them! Comment! Love them! They are my friends ]]> ~wuju yay!! http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/2858101/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/2858101/ Sun, 11 Jul 2004 17:56:07 PDT s to *e-dragon

thanks so much, you made my day

in other news, i got a promotion! yay! Shift Manager Trainee!

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in my opinion, these artists are sadly underviewed....

Go visit them! Comment! Love them! They are my friends

Member of (*Apophysis*) ]]> ~wuju hmm... http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/2780453/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/2780453/ Thu, 01 Jul 2004 13:52:19 PDT ill be a subscriber again soon

-tracy

member of {*Apophysis*} (hopefully ) ]]> ~wuju whee http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/2765078/ http://wuju.deviantart.com/journal/2765078/ Tue, 29 Jun 2004 16:15:29 PDT
it put me in a good mood for the day

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in my opinion, these artists are sadly underviewed....

Go visit them! Comment! Love them! They are my friends ]]> ~wuju