http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:x01A4&section=today deviantART RSS for by:x01A4 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 08 Dec 2009 12:38:26 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/28661621/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/28661621/ Sun, 29 Nov 2009 21:57:09 PST
I'm moving as well and trying to find time to study along with a place to live.

Till I get some time to myself to think you all are suck with my previous submissions. Sorry.

--
x0

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/28392641/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/28392641/ Mon, 16 Nov 2009 11:09:27 PST
Enjoy

--

Stefanie (ex-girlfriend)

What do think about bobby? Well, for those of you who do not know him, he’s nothing like he seems. I met bobby the beginning of my junior year. I remember it was in Ms. Dennett’s math class. He was seated by me, cause I was the quiet kid, and Ms. Dennett had told me, that maybe he wouldn’t get into trouble around me. Well honestly, I wasn’t happy about it. From hearing all the rumors about him, I thought he was one of those gothic weirdo’s. (No offense to those people) well, I admit that I was WAY wrong. I’ve never met someone so sure of his feelings. I don’t know how to describe him in words really. Only that he IS the kind of person you can go to for help, and will do what he can to help you. (Well, depending on who you are). I can also say that I’ve never met someone so passionate for animals. I can tell you that bobby’s favorite color is pink, or pink and black! He doesn’t care for TV. He loves to ask, “Why not?” If he had to pick a sport to play or watch id say he’d pick Soccer! He loves his cat lucky or boomerang kitty. Bobby also has a monkey, who one day I hope to meet. Bobby is smart, though he doesn’t apply himself. He’s the world’s best procrastinator!! Trust me, he’s real good at it. J Bobby has beautiful brown eyes, I sometimes get lost in them when he speaks to me. He’s very mysterious in a lot of ways. Like sometimes, you don’t know what he’s thinking, and at the same time, I know when something wrong with him. Not only does he stair at his feet when he walks, but he looks like he wants to cry. However, you can usually only get 10 phrases out of him on a bad day; “So? That’s nice. Mkay. If you say so. Whatever. I guess. Then don’t.” Usually, it drives me crazy. However, I know he’ll bounce back in a day or two. Bobby doesn’t own one pair of shoes, though he really only wares the same black pair, with pink shoe laces, that are also, I believe the left one, is stained from some chocolate syrup he tried dumping on me around spirit week. J Witch I walked away clean! Hmm, lets see, he also has a tattoo witch he got like, a day or two after I got mine. It’s on his lower neck, black, Japanese word for I think love? I’m sure its love. Anyway, he not ticklish sucks on our part. Bobby has a little sister, Jacque, who he loves and cares for very much. Bobby likes to surf. However, he is very good at writing poems. He’s also a spelling and grammar freak! I could go on forever telling you about bobby, but that would take the fun out of learning him for yourself. And trust me, it can be fun!! I guess all there is to say now is that I love you bobby!!! My bad, Nemo!! (My nickname for him) You’re one of my bests and closes friends!! :* <3

Love always
Stefanie Rice

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rei-Rei

About the Bobby
To explain bobby jeeze i don't think you can explain him. He pretty much dances to his own beat. He is so random and has spontanous thoughts you just want to hug him. He has a habit of running up tp random people and yelling "Catch Me!" about a millisecond before you find yourself on the ground with a Bobby sitting on your stomache. I luagh so hard and its just because bobby is well... bobby. He's the kind of kid to lift your mood. Expecially with that damned easy button. New years was way cool. Except the brick idea. But you all really don't need to know about that. He doesn't care for politics, government, or school. And really doesn't like conformity. like I said, he dances to his own beat. Its great. He is ofte smiling and is almost always laughing, expecially when he is around the girl he loves with his whole being, Stefanie. I mean you can see it in his eyes. He has the biggest beautiful brown eyes, and curly very dark brown hair. I love playing with it. Its great. I also know he has a little red car and loves to go fast and pull off lots of stunts with it. He is kinda a daredevil and plays on the risky side. He also has this motorcycle. He hasn't got the liscense for it yet. But with how he drives his car. It scares me. But he knows what he's doing. Bobby can also do these gymnast stunts. like backflips off walls and somersaults. Its crazy but really cool. I can only imagine how many times he fell to teach himself how to do it. Bobby is determined in things he wants to do. But if not, dont even try to get him to do it. I first met him in the class teen living. We broke one of Mrs. Roberts desk. She got pretty mad. He was reading a book and I asked about it, that was the first convo we had, I think. Then it was kinda went from there. He was there when all these other people stabbed me in the back. He also has... ]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/25972025/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/25972025/ Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:02:35 PDT
So, I guess starting from the end of Basic Training and the beginning of my Intel school to the time I reclassified into Satellite Communications. When I first got to Goodfellow it was a hard adjust. I've spent my whole life in large areas with stores and people all over. Goodfellow was out there. I mean you would be speeding in a 70 MPH zone and it would still take 45 minutes to get to Walmart. The closest city was farther than that. During my time there I worked on Intel stuff of coarse, took some college classes to try and inch my way closer to my programming degree, and worked long days with little sleep at night. A typical work week was Monday through Friday from 2:30AM till at least 6PM. If you had laundry or needed to study at school (which if you wanted to pass you lived at the school) it was at least 10PM before you got to bed excluding taking a shower and whatnot. Probably one of the biggest events that happened at Goodfellow was my girlfriend broke up with me after several years of being practically inseparable. With "friends" still open I dragged on with my hectic schedule. Eventually I couldn't keep up with my ambitions between the stress of the work place, stress of the Military Leaders in the dorms, and trying to keep up with college. I dropped my classes and focused solely on Intel. I was suffering silently between the tear in my personal life and the misery of my work life. After much stress and over 6 months in school as an Intel student I became eliminated from the 1N0 course. Set for reclassification, I began the process.

I ended up with my current job, Satellite Communications, which I didn't study. Passed with stress only from military leaders in the dorms at Keesler. I could live with that. Christmas rolled around and I came home to visit. So excited that I would be able to see my friends, family, and happy too see that old girlfriend. Christmas went well, I saw just about everyone I wanted to. Didn't get to see people out of state. The first visit to her house was one of those awkward silence times. New years was much better. But as always all good things must end. I went back to Keesler to wait another 3 months for them to fix my orders so that I could go to the second school for my job.

Finally at Ft. Gordon! I had so many run-ins with the Military Leaders there. Small things that were permitted at other bases no longer allowed. Like letting your phone charge when your at school so when you went out in the evening your phone would have battery life. Anyways, after a boring but easy stay at Ft. Gordon. I passed. Nothing failed again. Goodfellow taught awesome study habits and definitely provided the will power to push yourself through reading the most boring of school work.

After all that school, it was then June. A year and 3 months since my original departure from my home town of Jacksonville, NC. I went back home for about 9 days. I spent it with Jessi, Erika, and though I tried to get up with my ex it was unsuccessful. My last night there, I stopped by to say good bye to a family that I started with as unliked. After a couple years of being close friends to their daughter they eventually warmed up to me. I'd easily consider them my family if things didn't go sour over the next few days.

The next days I began my drive across country to Idaho. A good 3000+ miles away. To mess with Erika and my ex along with earn some money on that "Own your friends" shit on Myspace I bought my ex from Erika. The ex put that she was miserable toward me in the status. I messaged her best friends to see if something was bothering her. Not long after that the ex got online and became confrontational. That whole "What's your problem, You're my problem" BS. She pretty much said that when we broke up that she wanted me out of her life. Of coarse, after some of this and tired of drama crap, I snapped and said shit I didn't mean. Pretty much accused her of how I felt for a while now. I said that since her dad approves of me now, she can't get attention that her life sucks at home. So it's time for her to move on to the next guy daddy wont approve of. It was a dick move, I wasn't thinking clear, and I was pissed that by "Let's be friends" she really just wanted me gone.

Since then, I've broken ties with one of my best female friends and support, with the only people I really only called family, and lastly with the ex. I'm sure she's "happy" She's told her self that since I've met her. You can see in her eyes when she is or isn't. All I can do is wish her the best and continue on with my... ]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/25825128/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/25825128/ Wed, 08 Jul 2009 19:27:33 PDT
[link]

If you happen to play Mafia Wars on Facebook I'm looking for some more people there aswell.

[link]

Hit me up.

x0

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/25456755/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/25456755/ Sun, 21 Jun 2009 15:59:38 PDT
First, I woke up. (Of coarse) Got ready and began an approximate trip of 90-ish minutes to a friends work place for a massage that I've had planned for about a week. On the way there, a bolt that holds the brakes in place came off. When I got to the spa, I found out that I was at the wrong spa. So when we were at the wrong spot. (Turns out that two spas in the same area are called "The spa at topsail" Neither one is in Topsail.) Anyways, starting to leave the parking lot the car locks up do to the brake housing getting caught in the tire.

We called my sister and her boyfriend who came about an hour later. (They live about 15 minutes away from there) And they went up to Lowes to get another screw which should have taken about 30 minutes round trip at most. Took another hour. During this time I'm listening to my grandmother complain and bitch about how hot it is. We were sitting outside of an area with at least 10 air conditioned businesses within the parking lot. Even pointing this out she decided that she wanted to stay outside. I guess that she just likes having things to complain about.

So the appointment was at 12. We finished getting the truck to a temporary fix to get in close to the house for parts we were suppose to use about 4. So I missed the spa, the friends that I was going to see after the massage were already gone to work or whatever the people were doing. But they were gone. Gone home and changed out the part.

I had my grandmothers 3.5" floppy to pull pics off of and move them to a CD for her. Since I've left for the Air Force they decided they didn't like how I packed my stuff but they lost the power cord for the only computer I have that will do that. While searching for the power cord and the laptop I both broke the key to the lock of the trailer I'm about to drive cross country with. I smashed my finger in the door. After an hour of digging through the trailer for the items, I gave up. I went to Walgreens because they have those fancy little picture converters to move from cd/cards/floppys to film, disk, cd. Turns out they stopped making those where they read 3.5" floppys.

I would go out to meet up with someone I want to see before I go but I'd probably total my truck.. or get hit by someone and suffer some long drug out death. Guess I might as well go. No since in bypassing something that could happen like that..

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/25315735/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/25315735/ Sun, 14 Jun 2009 19:09:56 PDT
Right now, I'm just sitting around working on a few new security things for some places online that I go to. Tomorrow I'll be getting stuff out of storage so I can have it ready to throw in the truck when I need to go to Idaho (June 22). I'll probably rearrange my grandmothers house tomorrow. It's kind of cluttered the way that it is and with my stuff it'll be a bigger mess. So I'm hoping that it'll be a nice surprise to come home to.

That's all I really have. I'll keep everyone posted on things.

x0

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/25185069/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/25185069/ Sun, 07 Jun 2009 18:26:29 PDT
Then I'll be on my way to Idaho, which you bet I'll be taking photos and writing on the trip here and there. I plan to be more active on here. Sorry I've really been slacking so much.

That's about all that is really going here.

x0

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/24346833/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/24346833/ Mon, 20 Apr 2009 16:25:50 PDT Miss you Anna.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/22760884/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/22760884/ Fri, 23 Jan 2009 13:50:40 PST
I graduate from EP Tuesday, I can only end with a 95 average. Or 94.. I don't remember.. My orders to Georgia were mess up so I might not leave on the day I was planning. But overall the stay here wasn't so bad. I didn't really leave my room 'cept for food, PT, and class.

That's all that's really gone on here. I'll keep yall updated.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/22282288/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/22282288/ Tue, 30 Dec 2008 14:57:46 PST -> No

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?
-> mhm

3. New house?
-> kind of.

4. What will you do different in 2009?
-> I don't know.. snowboard?

5. New Years resolution?
-> I don't have one.

6. What will you not be doing in 2008?
-> mIRC scripting?

7. Any trips planned?
-> no

8. Wedding plans?
-> no

9. What's on your calendar?
-> graduation of tech school.

10. What can't you wait for?
-> a family. ;D

11. What would you like to see happen different?
-> Programming and Networking degrees.

22. What about yourself will you be changing?
-> be more decisive. (lol at the typo)

13. What happened in '08 that you didn't think would ever happen?
-> Joined the Air Force.

14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
-> I think I've been pretty fair.

15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 08?
-> warmer most def.

16. Are you going to be in school in 09?
-> yeah.

17. Will you make more money in 09?
-> maybe if I get promoted.

18. Will you do charity work?
-> Yea

19. Are you going to drink on New Years Eve?
-> I don't know.

20. Will you be nice to people you don't know?
-> I suppose I could.

21. Do you expect 2009 to be a worse year for you than 2008?
-> No.

22. How much did you change from this time last year til now?
-> I think so. Still a sucker for love though.

23. Do you plan on having a child?
-> I haven't decided yet. lol.

24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now?
-> I'm hoping so.

25. Major lifestyle changes?
-> Military is a pretty decent thing.

26. Will you be moving?
-> Yeah..

27. What will you make sure doesn't happen in 2009 that happened in 08?
-> I have no clue, what happens happens.

28. What are your New Years Eve plans?
-> I don't know, maybe have a few people over.

29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?
-> eh, I don't know.. prolly not..

30. Wishes for 2009:
-> i onno

31) DRINKING BUDDIES OF THE YEAR?
-> Daniel Davis, most def.

32) YOUR SONG FOR 2008?
-> Our Song - Taylor Swift

33) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend) -
-> Sunshine.

34) NEWCOMER AWARD - COOLEST NEWEST FRIEND?
-> Davis

35) HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR?
-> The 28th.

36) LOW POINT OF THE YEAR?
-> Thanksgiving.

37) BEST HOLIDAY?
-> Christmas

38) MOVIE FOR 2008?
-> Mr. Woodcock.

39) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH?
-> In basic.

40) BEST RELATIONSHIP?
-> Stef.

41) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN?
-> Goodfellow AFB with Davis and Fair.

42) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR?
-> IHOP

43) BIGGEST douchebag AWARD?
-> Ron.

44) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?
-> Air Force.

45) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
-> Die

46) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN DRUNK...
-> I don't have that moment in 08

47) TV SHOW OF THE YEAR?
-> Numb3rs

48) MOST LOYAL FRIEND?
-> Jessie

49) BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR?
-> Air Force

50) NEW YEAR RESOLUTION?
-> You asked this..

51. Where did you begin 2008?
-> my house.

52. What was your status by Valentines Day?
-> Couple.. kind of.

53. Were you in school anytime this year?
-> mhm sort of

54. Did you have to go to the hospital?
-> Yes

55. Did you have any encounters with the police?
-> A few.

56. Where did you go on vacation?
-> NC and VA

57. What did you purchase that was over 100?
-> This laptop, Ipod, DVDs, lots of stuff.

58. Did you know anybody who got married?
-> Yes

59. Did you know anybody who passed away?
-> Yes

60.Did you move anywhere?
-Yes


61. What sporting events did you attend?
-> Nothing

62. What concerts/shows did you go to?
-> none

63. Describe your birthday:
-> In Basic Training.

64. What is the one thing you thought you would not do, but did, in 2008?
-> Do well in school.

65. What has been your favorite moments?
-> ihop with Davis.

66. Any new additions to your family?
-> no

67. What was your best month?
-> December.

68. Who has been your best drinking buddy?
-> You asked this too....

69. Made new friends?
-> Several.

70. Favorite... ]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/22068069/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/22068069/ Fri, 19 Dec 2008 13:53:26 PST
When I come back, I'll have about a month left. I'll just have Digital Communications Theory, General Shop Maintenance, and Computer Networking. Then it's off to Fort Gordan, GA for the Satellite part of the school till July.

I can't wait to write the journal on how Exodus/Christmas went. Keep an eye out. I can't wait to see all you 910 kids again. <3 see you soon.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/21206201/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/21206201/ Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:25:48 PDT
application and theory of electronics
solid state components
digital techniques
integrated circuits
transistors
microminiature components
fiber optics
amplifiers
waveguide components
traveling wave tubes
principles of computers
networks
cryogenics
spread spectrum techniques
satellite tracking
theory of instrumentation
telemetry systems
pulse and continuous modulation,
synchros
servo drives
high power transmission systems
associated environmental control systems
space systems equipment operational procedures
data transmission
orbital mechanics
analog-to-digital
digital-to-analog conversion
hydraulics
data analysis
interpreting publications
blueprints and schematics
communications theory
principles of wideband
satellite earth terminal systems and equipment and their operational procedures
satellite orbital mechanics
test equipment
circuit analysis
principles of multiplexing
digital data transmission
networks associated with multichannel equipment
installing and testing practices
atomic frequency generating devices
voice and data communication equipment
Defense Information Systems Agency technical
satellite control and testing procedures
interpretation of technical data
military specifications and standards
Air Force maintenance management
supply procedures
application of mathematics
algebraic formulas
physics to instrumentation
telemetry systems

That sums up my new tech school.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/20609853/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/20609853/ Sun, 21 Sep 2008 20:57:13 PDT I think that I failed out of my school, not entirely on grades but some personal type issues. I almost got to program something but it was too classified for me to know what I was supposed to be making so I didn’t get to do that. I’m not entirely sure what I’m going into but I want programming. I have gotten a sudden urge to bury my face in education. I have mounds of books on Chemistry, Physics, Psychology, and History. It’s just like so many years ago… I’m thinking about doing a script for mIRC that will help kids. Just a room with a bot that will spit out facts about a lot of the things I’m learning. I might make it a trivia bot.
I had a friend message me today with news of someone in their family diagnosed with cancer a short time after their father died of it. Good luck with that. Religious people include prayers for this one. I’ve known this kid for such a long time and it feels like she’s always trying to prove her self to me or something. It’s somewhat amusing. I know that’s a tad wrong to say. Sorry I’m just not one that accepts everyone easy. It’s not right but it’s a smart approach to life. You’ll get hurt a lot less and make more lasting friendships.
I have to wake in a few hours for PT. But I want to go out on a rant about the LHC, Large Hadron Collider, that is underground in France and Switzerland. For people that don’t have any idea it’s a 16.5 mile strip that will speed protons to over 99% the speed of light to smash them together to recreate what happened after The Big Bang on a smaller level to observe how everything came about. It will be capable of creating blackholes. (mini ones) that have a very small chance of becoming a large one and swallowing the Earth and anything within it’s gravitational pull radius. It was suppose to have it’s first run in October but from what I’ve heard they were hacked and have been delayed two months. But with a successful run physicist can study and look for the Griggs which is the base for our physics and if it happens to not exist, then our physics no longer exist. But we’ll be able to rebuild it on something stable thanks to the LHC. Thousands of Scientist from CERN from many countries are working on this and Stephen Hawking is included in this. I am personally looking forward to seeing where this takes us. Our understanding of the universe is about to change. Get ready.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/19941521/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/19941521/ Wed, 13 Aug 2008 20:01:16 PDT
I guess that I will start with a chuck of my past unveiled itself a couple days about. I walked into a friends room and he was doing what we typically do, randomly going through YouTube videos. Some how he managed to make it to a video in remembrance of Anna. It’s kind of weird.. He ended up finding it by seeing what other videos some user had and the Anna video was the only favorite the user had. I just happened to walk into the room at the right time. There are pros and cons to everything though. I’ve found many in both. No one should ever be forgotten. To be forgotten is a fate worse than death.

Every day you’re faced with something; a fork in the road if you will. You go one way and you will never find out what the other one had simply because you can’t go back in time. Sometimes the option for that road is still there but it could have been different if you picked that road first. Pretty much the Multi-Universe theory. Highly simplified. Back to the topic train, Some choices are easier than others. Should I be nice to someone new today, how should I go to work today, even helping someone with some random task they were dealt for the day. There’s the kind of choices that you make without even really thinking. Which foot do I put the first sock on? First foot to put the shoe on? Everyday is full of options and you seldom get a chance to change an option so think carefully.

A random paragraph to lead into this one.. Ok, recently I’ve made a hard choice.. I let go of the single person in the world that I would do anything for. Give anything for. Some of the guys know what I’m talking about.. Knowing she’s not happy with the current situation and offering her a way out cause she doesn’t want to do it. I never thought that I would offer/recommend/whatever the idea of breaking up after all we went through. Regardless, the offer was made and she felt that she needed the time alone to do stuff and meet people. I want to go out and meet people as well.. I don’t want it to end up a rebound relationship because I don’t want someone.. I’m simply looking to hang out. I haven’t been able to think clear for a while now and it clouds my judgment. Last thing I need is a kid because I wanted someone to like me. I’m not breaking my way of life, standards, or morals for you or anyone.

I love how girls claim all the good/nice guys are gone these days. We aren’t gone. We are just quiet and stray from society simply because our style isn’t accepted. Some may have been corrupted by influence of people they hang out with or some gave all their heart to have to shoved back in his face. But girls notice the bad ass guys and complain to other guys about how their hearts were torn out when they left. It seems like that’s all we are here for more often with each passing day. Just note ladies, we aren’t gone. Next time you’re hurt and telling a guy about it, take a look at them. They might be the one silently praying you notice them. They want to secretly hold you and cuddle you. Whatever their reason, they are sitting there… listening, waiting, hoping.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/19415900/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/19415900/ Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:12:44 PDT
x Feels out of touch with friends back home
x Feels extremely distant from Stefanie
x Hating this damn tech school..
x ..And the people here
x Stuck on thoughts
x 2:45am pt
x lack of sleep

this list is just kicking off... I feel so depressed and as on myspace. I'll close with
Death is a Strange Phenomenon

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/19396951/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/19396951/ Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:03:50 PDT
hm, I guess I'm going to bed. =/ I told Stef like 13 mins ago I was going to sleep.

I love you Stef.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/19158211/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/19158211/ Wed, 02 Jul 2008 02:37:05 PDT And I thought I had fallen.
We used to sit next to each other,
Used to eat lunch together.
We don’t have that chance anymore.
I miss her.
Last night I got to see her on cam
And we talked, joked, laughed.
Talked about the past and present.
I watched my screen and smiled
I couldn’t help it.
And I know it.
I fell extremely hard.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/18513060/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/18513060/ Mon, 26 May 2008 15:08:32 PDT || Disclaimer ||
+--------------+

Like anyone really cares but I'll post
for the shits and giggles of the situation.

==============================

So I finished Basic, on time.. I don't have any clue how I managed to do that. But I am now in tech school studying my career field of Operations Intelligence. Things are much different in my life except I actually have to get out and move around now. My basic schedule is as follows:

AM
2:30-2:45 - Wake up for PT (to exercise)
3:00-4:00 - Exercise
4:00-5:45 - Shower/Get Dressed/Eat
5:45 ------- Be in formation to march to school
6:00-11:30 - Classes
11:30-1:00 - Lunch
PM
1:00-3:30 - Classes
3:30-4:15 - Form up and march back
4:15-4:45 - Free time (ish)
4:45-5:20ish - Open Ranks (inspections on uniforms etc)
5:50ish- our own time for whatever. Laundry, study, sleep, shop.
10:00- Everyone must be in their rooms.

Weekends are ours all day and depending on your phase the curfew is.

Phase one 10PM
Phase two 12AM
Phase three N/A


So that's the typical day. Classes kind of suck. If I fail a briefing, Progress check, or test.. I automatically graduate two weeks later. If I fail the test on that block again I no longer have that job and have to start over working on a new job's tech school. If I fail more than four during the 6 months that I am here I have to find a new job also. So that sucks.

On a plus, I wanted to stay near my home area of NC as a duty station. Turns out I wont be anywhere close to NC.. I'm going to Japan. Which if I have to go over seas I'd rather go there than anywhere else. I had the option to trade and be in VA but after talking to that significant loved one she decided I'd be going to Japan. lol.

Hopefully, I'll graduate from tech school on time. Oct 1. if I manage to not fail anything. Which I should be studying right now. >>; Anyways, That's pretty much my life in a nutshell right now minus any issues with other people in my life and back in NC whatever.

I'll pay a visit and update and hopefully submit things now.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16934503/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16934503/ Sun, 17 Feb 2008 18:41:49 PST
Like I said like a month ago. I am still not packed. I don't have everything ready to go. Not even the 10 items they said I would need. =x Yes, I slack. But as Stef says, I'm the best at what I do. I'll have everything done.

Even though I have 13 days till I leave. It's not really 13 because I have a friend coming for 5 of the days. I know I wont do any work during those days so I really have like 8ish days.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16877721/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16877721/ Fri, 15 Feb 2008 01:16:22 PST
Thank you for another day to make the rest of us feel like shit.



on a side note:

Roses make me sneeze,
Violets make me cough.
I hate Valentine's Day,
so you can all piss off.

- Ty

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16818840/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16818840/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 14:42:23 PST

If you count today, which is almost over. I have 23 days left in this town before I am offline for at least seven weeks. Possibly up to six months. Other than a tad bit of chaotic-ness, life is pretty damn good.

I decided that I'm going to turn at least one photoshop deviation before I leave. I'm going to try for two though.

This is about all I had. Just letting people know that I am still alive.

My room is also about 70% packed. Mainly there is just furniture that I have to move downstairs. Oh well, it's not so bad.

I might get to see Stef again this week, She came by for a visit on the 5th and we just kind of hung out for about 6ish hours. I'll have something planned for us this time. A walk on the beach, at least.. If weather permits. Or if she wouldn't mind playing in the rain.

I'll post another journal soon.
<3

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16562926/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16562926/ Fri, 25 Jan 2008 08:16:55 PST
I just felt like taking a break for packing and typing an update since it's been a while. I'm still scheduled to leave March 4. I hate simply because it's so close to Stef's birthday and I wont be here for it. I'll just have to give her something really special before I go then. I'll have to find something.

Also, Stef and I are doing well. Some rocks (and huge brick/boulder walls) have crossed into our path and we managed to stumble on many of them but always kept our balance. Some patience and a little work can help you get through anything. I love you Stef. <3

I've been reading up and studying a lot for this group of programmers/hackers that make security programs. I'd love to make things to help people in my free time. It any one wants they can stop by.

Java is [link]
IRC is 69.65.113.60 6667

We do have a nameserver, I never rememberized it . Just look for me. I'm the only orange fish there. If you don't catch that you are stupid. Sorry, and in the words of Ron White, "You can't fix stupid." "There's not a pill you can take. There's not a class you can go to. Stupid is foreva" Sorry, I heard him last night doing that bit while packing and when I said stupid it hit me.

That pretty much does it for my life at the moment. Few things are going on but all of them are working good. No complaints. The way life should be. Hm, I lied. I do have something to complain about. My sound card, I don't want to unhook my computer to take it apart again to find the FFC number to put it back together and search for compatible drivers. =/ lol! But if I want to listen to music it 5.1 Surround Sound. I better find it.

again, I love you Stef.
I look forward to comments from everyone.

nem0 | 0men

<(((><

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16468322/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16468322/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 01:03:26 PST
While I'm not going to post it here for person reasons just know that:
1: It wasn't dirty or obscene
2: It makes me feel, well, hurt.
------ Not in a bad way.. Just knowing I lost something special
------ simply because I wasn't happy enough with what I had.



ilu Stef

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16345733/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16345733/ Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:27:24 PST

I had to pick of my sister so the conversation ended there. She'll be back on tonight and we'll talk some more. So expect an update.

Love,
\x01A4
(Nemo <(((>< hehe)

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16237341/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/16237341/ Thu, 03 Jan 2008 09:33:25 PST
I loved you because
you made me smile.
I will always love you,
cause the memories will always make me smile.


Even though one day I'm sure I'll move on and try another relationship; no one else will ever take my heart as you did. No one else will ever be able to fill the spot in my mind the way you do.


Always remember that.
I love you, Dearly, Stefanie.
xoxo

Love,
Nemo

<(((><

-----
You don't realize,
how much you care about someone
until they don't care about you

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15999100/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15999100/ Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:04:18 PST

I stared at the girl next to me... She was my so called "best friend"... I stared at her... Long, silky hair... And I wished she was mine... But she didn't notice me like that... I knew it... After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before... And I handed them to her... She said "thanks"... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to hell her... I want her to know that I don't want to be "just friends"... I love here but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't know why...



IT'S JUNIOR YEAR...


My phone rang... On the other end it was her... She was in tears... Mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart... She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone... So I did... As I sat next to her on the sofa... I stared at her soft eyes... Wishing she was mine... After 2 hours... A Drew Barrymore movie... And 3 bags of chips... She decided to go to sleep... She looked at me.. Said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I want her to know... That I don't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't know why...





IT'S SENIOR YEAR...


The day before prom... She walked to my locker... "My date is sick" she said... He's not going to go... Well... I didn't have a date and in 7th grade... We made a promise that if neither of us had dates... We'd go together just as "best friends"... And so we did...



IT'S PROM NIGHT...


After everything was over with... I was standing at her front door step... I stared at her ... She smiled at me... I wanted her to be mine... But she doesn't think of me like that... And I know it... Then she said "I had the best time... Thanks!"... And she gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I wanted her to know that I don't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...




IT'S GRADUATION DAY...


A day passed... And then a week... And then a month... Before I could blink... It was graduation day... I watched her... Perfect body... Floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma... I wanted her to be mine... But she doesn't think of me that way... And I know it... Before everyone went home... She came to me in her smock and hat... And cried as I hugged her... Then she lifted her head from my shoulders and said "you're my best friend"... "Thanks!"... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her.. I wanted to know that I wanted to be more than "just friends"... I love her but I'm too shy... And I don't know why...




IT'S A FEW YEARS LATER...


But bNow I sit in the pews of the church... A church that she is getting married in now... I watched her say "I do" an drive off to her new life... Married to another man... I wanted her to be mine... But she didn't see me like that... And I knew it...but before she drove away... She came to me and said "You came!... Thanks!"... And she kissed me on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I wanted her to know that I didn't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...




YEARS PASSED...


I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend"... At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years... This is what it said... "I stare at him... Wishing he was mine... But he doesn't notice me like that... And I know it... I wanted to tell him... I wanted him to know... That I don't want to be "just friends"... I love him but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why... I wish he would tell me he loved me"... I wish I did too... I thought to myself and I cried...

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15990350/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15990350/ Tue, 18 Dec 2007 17:23:54 PST
1) Where did you begin 2007?
My house <3 best friends!

2) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
single

3) Were you in school (anytime this year)?
yeah

4) How did you earn your money?
Construction and Mother

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
yes

6.) Did you have any encounters with the police?
Just got told to not skip in the mall.

7) Where did you go on holiday?
Stayed here.

8) What did you purchase that was over $1000?
Nothing.

9) Did you know anybody who got married?
yes

10) Did you know anybody who passed away?
No

12) Did you move anywhere??
No

14) What concerts/shows did you go to?
HIM

15) Are you registered to vote?
Yeah.

16) Who did you want to win Big Brother?
Don't watch it.

17) Where do you live now?
The isle

18) Describe your birthday?
sucked..

19) What's one thing you thought you'd never do but did in 2007?
picked up a guitar and began to play again.

20) What has been your favorite moment?
When she said yes. =x

21.) Whats one thing you have learned about yourself?
that I am still stupid no matter how I try and convince myself.

22) Any new additions to your family?
no

23.) What was your best month?
June but more so the end of Sept

24.) What music will you remember 2007 by?
Sex on the Radio - The Clintons

25) Who has been your best drinking buddy?
MY uncle

26) Made new friends?
The best!

27) New best friend?
Chris and Robert

28) Favorite Night out?
Saturdays at NR Bowling alley && Football Games

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15983035/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15983035/ Tue, 18 Dec 2007 07:05:06 PST

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's bottom. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, they are an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15905000/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15905000/ Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:58:08 PST 1. A Cuddler? yes
2. A morning person? Yep, I'm a person in the morning too!
3. Short? yea
4. In your pajamas? nope
5. Left handed? Yes

LAST;
1. Friend you saw? Emanual
2. Talked to on the phone? ReiRei
3. Friend you texted? Sunshine

FAVORITE;
1. Number? 15488
2. Season? Autum

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS;

Q: Do you like anybody right now?
Always..

Q: What was the first thing you said this morning?
Damn.. 3am..

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
I don't remember..

Q: Where is the last place you went?:
Park

Q: Do you smile often?:
not enough

Q: Do you wish upon stars?:
When I feel hopeless.

Q: Are you a friendly person?:
Majority of the time.

Q: Where did you sleep last night?:
Computer Chair and Bed.

Q: What color is the shirt your wearing?
White Red Hot Chili Peppers T

Q: When was the last time you cried?:
today

Q: What was your last thought before going to sleep last night?
That I should prolly give this Stitch stuffed animal back to Stef..

Q: What are you about to do?:
I have no plans.

Q: Rate life as of right now...1 through 10?
6...but if you round it i goes to 10.

Q: What do you hear right now?:
Blink 182 - First Date

Q: Does anything hurt right now?:
Back and Neck

Q: What’s your favorite month?:
October

Q: What’s your favorite bottled water?:
Propel

Q: Have a best friend?:
Sunshine and ReiRei

Q: How many kids do you want/have?
one or two.

TEN EMOTIONS;
1. Are you missing someone right now? yea
2. Are you happy? eh not happy not sad
3. Are you talking to anyone right now? nope
4. Are you bored? yes
5. Are you German? some
6. Are you Irish? no
7. Are you Asian? no
8. Are you Italian? no
9. Are your parents still married? no
10. Do you like someone right now? mhm

TEN FACTS;
1. Hometown? jacksoville
3. Height? 5'6
4. Hair style? long
6. Birthday? March 22, 1988
7. Mood? UGH
8. Sex? No
10. Lefty/righty? Yes

TEN THINGS;
1. Love or lust? love
3. Cats or dogs? both
4. Homeboys or homegirls? boys
5. Television or internet? internet
6. Pepsi or coke? Pepsi
9. Night or day? night
10. AIM or phone? If I have to use AIM then I'd use the phone.

HAVE Y0U EVERS;
1. Been caught sneaking out? nope
3. Done something you regret? kinda, but it was what I wanted so no.
4. Bungee jumped? not yet
5. Been on a house boat? nope
6. Finished an entire jaw breaker? yep
7. Wanted something so badly it hurt? possibly
8. Cheated on someone? no
9. Been cheated on? yeah..

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15898346/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15898346/ Wed, 12 Dec 2007 03:23:24 PST
--

Well I can see you're brewing up your usual mischief
And I catch your contagious laugh
Talk about your all time crushes, this one takes them all

Not the lyrics to "COME WITH ME" ?, Please report that below.
Life begins to feel a little less heavy
There's a little more color every time I look around
Talk about your all time crushes, this one takes them all

Do you know what album had this song, can you report to us below?
I want to indulge in you, too much of a good thing is never enough
Too bad we can't do this all of the time
We'd never accomplish anything, would we now?

If you can not find the lyrics you want, You may want to request them.
Come with me, it's a beautiful day for a getaway baby
Come with me, it's so great to be alive
Come with me, and forget about your troubles that are winning and bringing you down

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15778315/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15778315/ Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:44:00 PST
I know I wont be online for the Basic Training but I don't have any idea how the stationing is going to work down there. I won't have my phone for Basic either. Anyways, I thought that I would let anyone that cares to read this know.

I have an Intelligence job. Which is kinda.. considering I'm not that bright. lol. Oh well, they told me I could do it cause of my scores so I'm going to take it. <3

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15719722/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15719722/ Thu, 29 Nov 2007 10:58:40 PST hey, whats up

[ \x01A4 ] [ Isn't it lucky? ] says (1:21 PM):
nothing, what's up with you?

.::. Stefanie .::. says (1:22 PM):
i wanna know whats wrong

[ \x01A4 ] [ Isn't it lucky? ] says (1:22 PM):
Why is it such a big deal?

.::. Stefanie .::. says (1:23 PM):
cause i care. and dont bring it into the chat room. no sadness.

[ \x01A4 ] [ Isn't it lucky? ] says (1:24 PM):
I said everything is fine

.::. Stefanie .::. says (1:24 PM):
you arent acting like it

.::. Stefanie .::. says (1:24 PM):
i wont deal with this pitty party

[ \x01A4 ] [ Isn't it lucky? ] says (1:24 PM):
and why am I on restriction of what I can and can't bring into the room..

[ \x01A4 ] [ Isn't it lucky? ] says (1:26 PM):
you say yourself, "we all have rights" One of them is equal treatment. I didn't say anything was wrong and you tell me to keep it out of the chatroom. Yet anyone can come in and say sad things about their life.

[ \x01A4 ] [ Isn't it lucky? ] says (1:26 PM):
lovely.
[ \x01A4 ] [ Isn't it lucky? ] says (1:26 PM):
This is what I was talking about the other night with the thing with CjC

.::. Stefanie .::. says (1:26 PM):
im soooooooooooo tired of you shit


--
And then I was blocked or she got offline.
I really don't feel as if this is fair.

Comments to help out a guy?

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15696618/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15696618/ Tue, 27 Nov 2007 16:46:19 PST
For those with crushed hearts and shattered hopes I made a room [link] #FatalDreams Chat. Enjoy.

I love you Stefanie

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15179937/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15179937/ Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:32:47 PDT
I guess that first I will start with my love life. Things with me and Stefanie are better than ever. We've started expressing ideas and communicating more efficiently. Asking more questions about thoughts upon different things before doing it. Things are about the same as far we where her parents stand and where I stand. It might have improved a microscopic amount; nothing more than that.

Next, I signed up for the Air Force. Anyone that knows me is saying, "WTF Mate, you are smoking some good crack, yes?" Sorry to disappoint you all, no I am not on any type of drug. In fact, other than not getting to see Stefanie for the six weeks that I have to go through Basics I don't have a problem with it. I don't look forward to coming back and leaving a few month later for being stationed at least a few hours from here. She has already told me that she would not come with me. Which in all fairness, it's her choice and she isn't ready.

I joined for a verity of reasons:
1) In the long run Stefanie and I will fair much better this way. We get time apart but during this time we'll build our bond stronger yet. While stationed and away I can save up money so that we may start our lives once the military hell has ended.
2) In an attempt to make things better with Steve, her dad, I finalized my decision to join when I began thinking about how many times her dad has mentioned it around and to me. Maybe it will help or maybe it wont. In the end I can honestly say that I tried my damnedest.
3) I had my own personal reasons for considering Air Force because Steve had mentioned it to me. I know that I have a huge problem with authority because of how many times I have been fucked over by them. I'm going to try and rehabilitate myself through them. Maybe this will help me grow up.

I have been in college for a few months now. There isn't really anything that special about it. I have met some awesome new people and found out that some teachers are just as ignorant as the high school teachers that were suppose to be teaching us the foundation of our education for college. The majority of my high school teachers did a very poor job of preparing me for life in college. So far it's going fairly well.

I haven't has as much time as I would like to read, I still haven't finished Year Seven at Hogwarts; I've had that book since it came out. I've just been that busy. I have three books lined up behind it also. None of them are really that short. If you have read a great book give me the title and author. I'd love to see all your taste in novels and stories.

As far as other sources of entertainment, I have taken up computer modification, car modification, and trying to watch more movies. I have become a saw fan thanks to Stefanie <3 And also a Resident Evil fan thanks to the very same lovely lady. I still like to surf given that I feel up to it. But nothing beats a quiet afternoon and evening like working on some code and texting with your two best friends.

I guess that about does it for everything that is happening. I still don't feel like writing a new poem. Since I am already in a journal, I began thinking about this probably two days ago.

Deviations that contain nudity (Artistic/Suggestive/Explicit) What is your view on the different levels of nude. My own personal views are that Suggestive is fine, Artistic pushes the boundaries, and Explicit goes over them.

The human body, both male and female, are beautiful. But as far as posting anything that shows a woman's vagina or man's penis it s tad far. It should be for the eyes of your partner. Certain works that I have seen on DeviantArt has lacked artistic value and seem to fall more under the category of porn. More of porn on a diet. But it's all in the eyes of the beholder. I don't know why there would be use for explicit. Again, it all falls under what is being viewed and how it is being looked at through the eyes of the viewer. While I don't see an artistic value someone else may see a masterpiece.

I feel much better as far as my ranting of writers block. I hope to come out with a few new deviations for everyone that has a watch that still comes to DeviantArt or anyone that may stumble upon my page. May God be with those of you who wish it.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15118521/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/15118521/ Thu, 18 Oct 2007 16:55:43 PDT Friday: CJ
Saturday: Stef, CJ, Jacque, Tim, Michael, and two others.
Sunday & Monday: CJ

2. Are your underwear and socks folded in your drawers, or just thrown in?
Folded.

3. Do you use lyrics to express how you feel?
It's easy to and I have. But all the best ways to tell someone you love them come from yourself in your own way.

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
CJ

5. First thing you do when you wake up?
Thought how short the night was.

6. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
Hide them

7. Are you a cuddler?
I would be given the chance.

8. Are you ashamed of your past?
Not really.

9. Ever thrown up on someone's bed?
Can't say that I have.

10. Do you have a laptop?
A few.

11. Last person you told you love them?


12. Kiss with your eyes open or closed?
Closed.

13. Do you ride roller coasters?
YES!

14. Are you happy right now?
I could be better but I am above content.

15. Do you tend to rip the paper off water bottles?
Depends on what I am doing at the time.

16. What's your favorite colors?
Black, Pink, Dark and Light Grey, Red

17. Do you trust people?
I've gotten better at letting people in. But it's still difficult.

18. How many pillows are on your bed?
6 or so.

19. Do you have any cousins?
Lots.

20. If puppies stayed small forever, would you buy one?
Adopt one, yes.

21. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Cookies and cream!

22. Do you sing well?
No. XD

23. What is something you say when you're mad?
"Damnit man."

24. Can you whistle?
Yes, hehe

25. Have you ever cried from being so mad?
Yea

26. When were you the saddest in your whole life?
I'm not totally sure.

27. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive, you have to forgive and not think about it before you can forget that it happend.

28. Is there a certain movie you always cry at when you watch it?
A Walk to Remember makes me tear up
x- Martian Child will probably make me cry

29. How do you feel about dating Co-Workers?
Should it matter their employment? love is love.

30. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
Aww, I wish I slept more..

31. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Yes. Sunshine!! lol, I guess Stef too.

32. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Sometimes.

33. Have you ever been so heart broken that you called in sick to work or school?
Yes.

34. Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?
Still happens.

35. Have you ever seen your best friend cry?
Yes, I've seen my two best friends cry.

36. What could make you truly happy?
For my friends to be happy.

37. Anything bothering you right now?
Possible.

38. Do you worry about how you look?
Sometimes.

39. Do you wish someone was with you right now?
Mhm... :/

40. Who is the last person of the opposite sex that you hugged?
ReiRei

41. When was the last time you met someone new?
Everyday, lol.

42. What is the last thing you ate?
Arby's Roast Beef and Cheddar things.

44. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
She was there and I am totally in love with her.
What's it matter to you?

45. What was the last thing you drank?
Dr. Pepper.

46. Who's house did you go to last?
Troy, to drop him off after our classes.

47. What is the longest plane ride you've been on?
Louisiana to Oklahoma. It made a stop in Tennessee first.

48. Have you ever tripped going up the steps?
All the time.

49. Who was the last person to go to the movies with you?
Stefanie <3

50. Do you have a best friend?
Two!

51. Where will you be in the next 12 hours?
Sitting in my first class thinkin about how I failed another test.

52. Next important day on your calendar?
Saturday. <3 I spend em with Stef.

53. Can you see a phone... ]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/13773036/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/13773036/ Tue, 17 Jul 2007 17:33:32 PDT Than ever..

So much is happening and my actions
from my past and thoughts of the
future just seem.. so.. I don't know.

Which is exactly what I mean..
I use to know what I wanted.
How I wanted things to turn out.

Now, for some reason. I don't really
care. And I feel like I am falling into
a resession of my past.
And can't pull out.

I hope things end well.
;(

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/13043180/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/13043180/ Mon, 21 May 2007 19:34:32 PDT
Lately I just haven't had the feeling and love I normally do for spending my time online with some of my friends in distant places. I don't know what to blame or if I can even place all the blame on one reason. I guess that things just got old. Every few days I'll see people that I want to talk to and message them and never get any type of reason for the lack of reply back. Same goes for MSN.

Some of you will be happy that I am leaving, I don't care if you are or aren't. Just know that this choice might have something to do with your actions. Depending on who you are of coarse. If you have questions about if this sudden departure concerns you, then it probably doesn't.

Aside from the lack of feeling as if I belong I could be wasting my time doing something else. I'll probably spend a good majority of it watching television or sheltering myself from the real world. Well, except on the weekends at work. But I don't have to deal with many people there. I just can't wait to get out of school and not have to see teachers or those kids ago. Though there are a few that I don't mind; of both teacher and student.

I hope that when I return that things are for the most part unchanged and that none of my 'friends' deleted me. I guess this is good bye from some time. I hope to see you all soon. As soon as my passion for technology rekindels.

With Much Love and Regret,
Bobby x01A4

===

Re-adjusted for DA, Originally ment for Myspace. I hope I will see all my DA friends again soon aswell. Good-bye and thank you for all that have watched me over the multiple years that I have been here.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/12684809/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/12684809/ Sat, 21 Apr 2007 23:00:07 PDT
R.I.P. Anna
[April 26, 1988 - April 20, 2006]

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

ok guys, a few things has happend since my last journal. One being that I got another ticket. Ew.. but I was going around out of town this weekend and came to a realization of a few things. First I want to tell you a few things about types of drivers.

Power-Competitive:
[x] Act Aggressively; don't yelled to other drivers
[x] View other drivers as opponents or obstacles to their own progress
[x] Show disrespect for traffic laws
[x] Are willing to break traffic laws

Power-Assertive:
[x] Are confident in their driving ability and skills
[x] Stand up for thier rights on the road
[x] want to reach their destination as quickly as possible, often to the point of taking unnessary risks
[x] cooperate with other drivers in making everyone's driving easier

Belonging:
[x] Show concern for other drivers
[x] Cooperate with other drivers
[x] Demonstrate Courtesy
[x] Drive to their destination without breaking laws are inhibiting others.

Freedom:
[x] Display independance
[x] are willing to take some risks
[x] Drive for the challenge
[x] are willing to participate in driving games like chicken and racing
[x] are willing to make exceptions to traffic laws

Fun:
[x] drive for fun and recreation
[x] are willing to take risks
[x] drive vehicles with lots of power
[x] are likely to play driving games

Well, now that you know that you can see my scores.

Power-Competitive: 88th Percentile
Power-Assertive: 82th Percentile
Belonging: 45th Percentile
Freedom: 86th Percentile
Fun: 48th Percentile

Tells you how wonderful of a driver I am. But other than this test that tells me what kind of driver I am I learned a few more things. I learned about something called a 'Samric Plan' which is:

S.imple
A.ttainable
M.easurable
R.epeatable
I.mmediate
C.ontrolled by you

While he was going over this plan he was talking about some guy that he knows that use to always speed. And was talking bout how if he died that his wife wouldnt have him to care for her anymore. And when I made my "Samric Plan' I set it so that I know I can drive safely.

S.tart each journey with a clear mind and in atleast a decent mood.
A.ccelerate to the speed limit slowly to save gas.
M.ind the traffic laws and watch the pedestrians.
R.emember that I have someone special that cares for me and that we have so much planned to do later in life that will never be done if I go and get myself killed.
I.nitate thoughts of becomming a better driver when I am driving untill they become habit
C.omplete the trip safe and without tickets.

I know that this wont be easy at first but when I get use to these thoughts I think that I will do just fine. I also have a wonderful friend that will help with constant reminders and I told her that I would drive better and now I am keeping that promise.

I love you Stef!

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/12592854/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/12592854/ Sat, 14 Apr 2007 12:22:39 PDT want to, no matter how stupid you look. its about being yourself, cause no one can tell you you're doing it wrong.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/12433940/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/12433940/ Mon, 02 Apr 2007 16:59:39 PDT
...

But trusting them not to.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/12352418/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/12352418/ Tue, 27 Mar 2007 16:19:09 PDT ===
** Update One
===
First, Stefanie is now Eight-teen. She spent the afternoon at my house where we watched movies, wrestled, walked on the beach, and later that night when a few of her friends got here we went skating. There was a misunderstanding between me and her dad. I said that she wanted to stay the night on the beach with her friends and he didnt catch or something and it caused a few issues but nothing bad.
===
** Update Two
===
Next, I'm nine-teen now. I spent my birthday at school... >.< Then was forced to go out and eat with my family but I guess things went okish. Cept that I was fussed at for not having a good time at dinner. The weekend was freakin awesome. I spent about 5 hours with Stef. We were suppose to skate but she got the wrong times. So we went down and saw Jill at Stefanie's old job, Noble Romans Pizza. After that went skated from 7 to 9 and drove up o her house. It was the first time I went there. As one of the rules that her dad set was that I am not to go in when noone else is home. But we went in because it was night, her parents and grandparents should have been home, and because I wanted to see everything.

Oh My God! She has a lot of animals. Horses, Rosters, Cats, Dogs, Chickens, and probably something else. Oh, She has turtle and birds. But after seeing the animals we went back inside and she was getting something to drink and her family pulled in. But Steve didn't really seem to care that I was inside so it's all good. Her Grandparents got me an awesome card which if I remember I'll put a picture on here of it. I love her Grandma, she is freaking awesome!! Anyways, I had to go. I was suppose to be home by 10:00 and I didn't even leave Stefanie's house till 10:45 and its like a 45 minute drive home.
===
** Update Three
===
By far the one I wish that I didn't have to write. But life is life I guess. The day after skating for my birthday and all that she sends me a text with, "I have something to tell you" and naturally I ask good or bad. When she said it depends I figured it was bad but this kinda of sucked. I knew that she doesn't want to settle down and that she doesn't want to date. Or, not quite yet. But I thought that I would have been told earlier. Basically, when she started explaining she asked if I remembered us talking before and about her not wanting to settle down. And that she feels like we are dating with the long nights we've spent on the phone, the holding hands, and the kissing. The only thing that really throws me in the air and lets me land on my head is that we were doing so well. I mean, we weren't dating but it was kinda like we were. Not like it really matters. The school lables us a couple anyways. lol. So I don't know. after that I went from Rubics Cubes as a hobby to an obbsession to get my mind from everything in the real world. But I solved the "Square-1" cube which I must admit took some time. about a full day after the text.

---

I'm just kind of sitting here. I have AP Statistics homework that I need to do so I guess that I should get on that. We are doing a lot with hypothesis testing. Well, I can thank Billie Jean for an inspirational text message that I forwarded for the hell of it. "If God brings you to it, He will pull you through it." And though it is a chain I wanted to pass it. No, It doesn't mean that I believe in God or anything. Just thought I would. Someone else might need that message. It kinda made me feel better thinking that 'someone' might be there. Who knows. Things may work out. If fact, I think that I might put that chain as my footer thing on my comments.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11872078/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11872078/ Sun, 18 Feb 2007 18:16:35 PST
My overall rating on the book is an 8 or 9 might even hit 10. I love the way everything on folded. The different twist. I am a fan of Nicholas Spark's books so I was looking for a twist like that. By the end of the book all I was saying was, "WOW!" This guy can write.

The book is playing two storylines that are interlaced. So you need to read this book carefully.

*** SPOILER ***
Don't read this if you might consider reading the book.
**************

The main people are Suzanne, Nicholas, Katie, and Matt.

As the book starts, Katie starts from her point of view and describes various things. States that Matt had an affair which he cheated on Suzanne who was his wife and they were parents to Nick. Katie found out about Suzanne when Matt sent her Suzanne's diary and she finished reading it.

Thoughout the book, It switches between Katie and the diary entries.

The diary starts by saying that she (Suzanne) wants to keep Nick updated on things. She explains how her and his father met, how everything led up to his making.

The diary also goes into all types of problems. Like Suzanne had a heart attack before she left a big city and went to the country. She got pregnate by Matt and one day at a diner she got sharp knife like pains. Matt took her to the doctor and they found that high blood pressure and something else was causing problems. The did a C-Section and got the baby out because the kids heartbeat was week. The baby was 2 week early or 2 months. I don't remember.

It tells the growth of Nick, Such as sleeping through the night at 2 weeks old, lifting it's head at 2 weeks, holding his own bottle at 2 months. So many things with Nick and tied in 'Life lessons" with the diary.

Through all this, it tells of many things with Suzanne and Matt.

Anyways, later in the book, she because pregnate again. Suzanne passes out and falls down a flight of stairs. Things happen (not really that important) She is in a hospital, she can hear everything, she goes in and out, but she can't answer. So you believe that she isn't going to make it. She talks about already lost a kid. (Which you find out that she didn't)

She goes home, and pretty soon she is writing that it's almost Nick's first birthday. That she is writing Happy Birthday early and can't wait to see him tomorrow. Well, tomorrow comes along and Suzanne goes to get his presents. Matt says I love you as she heads out the door blowing him a kiss with her hands full.

Matt is writing and says that he needs to write. That he should have gotten up and kissed her and said good bye. That sometimes he plays with Nicks mobile on the crib. Many other things. Read the book if you want to find it out.

Suzanne had a heart attack on her way to get the gift and she went off a cliff in a car. Matt said that 'her hands were full', he was referring to her carring Nick. She wanted him to be the first to see the present. Matt lost Suzanne, Nicholas, and the unborn child.

After reading all of this in the diary, Katie goes off looking for Matt because, well, She is pregnate with his baby. She goes off, Finds Suzanne's and Nickolas's grave and says some words to both of them. Stops by the house that Matt painted for Suzanne and waits. When Matt doesn't show she goes back home. Some time later Someone tells Katie something and she goes outside of her work and finds Matt kneeling on the ground.

Magic Happends. If you wanna know more read the book.

********

There is a lot more to this book than what I said in this, but I don't have the time to type it. The book is wonderful and I recommend it to all with a free weekend to sit around reading.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11613349/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11613349/ Fri, 02 Feb 2007 13:28:09 PST
I can start by saying that I ruined the suprize of the purposal in April for Stefanie, but it probably helped my stress level go down cause I wasn't worried about saying anything on accident to give it away. Although, it started some stress of it's own. I've been really contemplative about everything involving April lately. I want to ask her but there are things that keep me from asking such as her parents and her not wanting to get settled at such an early age. At the same time I think that the mood of the Disney World areas will encourage me to ask because we are going to have so much fun together. So that will be tempting so I'm not sure how I will deal with that but I hope to sit with her face to face some time before then and we can discuss that.

I lost my only class with Stefanie, aswell as my lunch period with her. I really didn't mean to but I had to move out of English III into English IV or I wouldn't graduate on time. So I lost pretty much all the time I get to see her. So I'll be driving to Jacksonville to see her as often as I can.

Next, we have relationship problems with Sunshine and ctrade. Basically, Sunshine has been my best friend since I moved to North Carolina and we have experianced a lot together. Get times and bad ideas. Bad combonation. XD But I'm dealing with those two and I think that things are getting better. The other relationship type problem is between Jessie and Mance. Jessie is like my best girl friend (friend that is a girl) we hang out, go shopping, she sleeps over every few weeks since New Years. I think that is starting to go a lot better also.

I was really stressed about passing all my classes which I think I did. Cause if I didn't it would mean that I wouldn't graduate on time. I think I passed my US History with a 71 (below 70 is failing) and I think that I can pass all my classes without much effort this semester. I have Advanced Placement Statistics, Physical Science, English IV, and a Study Hall. And I excel in math and English so I think that I am going to do quite well.

School started a new semester last Wednesday and I just got moved to English IV today so I should be reading the Beowulf book. But I can't get into it. I love the romance books where one of the couple dies. But I really need to read this... I'll start working on that when this is done. I'll answer the questions tomorrow in Science because I have Stats homework.

I really with that I could see Stefanie more but I guess I'll have to live without for now. Besides, I don't think that either one of us is going to be leaving any time soon. So I'll have my chance to see her soon enough. Till then I have to suffer and make due with inbetween classes and going to Jacksonville to see her. I hate wasting the gas money to go but I need to see her. So it's more than worth it. I feel so empty and sad when I don't see her for an extended period of time.

Since I need to read that Beowulf book I'm going to get off of here because Stefanie and I are texting and I wont ever read the book trying to blog and text.

# End of Journal

#########
#########
## Update ##
#########
#########

It's been a day since I've posted the section above and I just can't seem to get out of this 'slump'. I went through all day, couldn't think of anything 'cept Stefanie but I had little desire to see her and even less desire to talk to her. I feel bad cause at the same time she's bitching at me for my sleeping habits going to hell again I know that she is worried about me. But I can't get in a better mood. But I would love to see someone in my place get into a better mood. I'd even pay you if you could do it. I have a lot of homework again tonight and I suppose that I should do tonights work.

I don't think I have said more than 40 words to her today, possibly 5 text if that. I don't remember. But I wrote about 3/4 of a page note telling her I don't feel like talking. That's all we talked today. I would have liked to spend some time with her after school to try and cheer up but she wanted to see my sister so we did that and I went home.

I talked to Sunshine some about this last night and I guess it dawned on him how I felt and we talked... ]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11524016/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11524016/ Sun, 21 Jan 2007 22:19:08 PST
After talking about the anonymous reason we drifted and because of text from last night which because it is after mid-night was two nights ago. I decided that I wasn't going to ask her but I wanted to let her know what my intentions were. They were told and are written in an order that isn't really in an order unless stated.

During April of every year, Dixon High School seniors go to Disney World­™ with many many other schools for Grad Night (which I don't know if it is trademarked so, sorry Walt) The last night they shoot off fireworks into a (hopefully) dark black sky. I was going to ask Stef to marry me during the fireworks show.

She lost her breath for a small amount of time but since it was after something that big being said it seemed alot longer. She bit her finger to keep from crying. By the time that was over all she could say about the thought was "Im in shock" which is fine by me. I'm kind of glad that she didn't just go, "Okay, that's cool"

From there we drifted to many subjects with a phone call that lasted over three hours. Not bad for two people that strongly dislike being on the phone. We covered a lot of ground talking. Things from the past, things we felt, how we felt about things, thoughts in general, and small things that happend between us during this school year that I hope we both remember for years to come, if not forever.

I don't know exactly what I love so much about her. It's hard to pin-point because I love so many small things about her. The way she smiles, laughs and giggles, the faces that she makes when talking about someone, how she explains things (rather, attempts to explain things), my list could go on forever. That list could be composed of the small things and details about her. Then we would have to place the medium, large, and gi-normous things about her in there aswell. So as you can imagine it is quite a huge list.

We ended the call saying good-night as most people that hang-up at a time past mid-night would do. Just for the fun of it I sent a text that said I hope she has sweet dreams and that I love her. Which I didn't really expect one back till in the morning because she was falling a sleep during the phone call. But she said that she loves me too.

Ofcoarse, you know, we talked about more than this but you either don't need to know or I don't want you to know. It may even be that I don't remember or the aliens deleted it while I was sleeping and before you read this message. Reguardless, you don't get to know the rest.

# End of Journal

- The Loser/Estatic/Thing

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11472606/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11472606/ Wed, 17 Jan 2007 16:18:29 PST
Small problem..

No ideas!

Send me ideas for flash or poetry.

I'll love you long time? (no sex) lol

k/thanks

- The Loser/.../Thing

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11435963/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11435963/ Sun, 14 Jan 2007 14:33:46 PST
... the average teen without a relationship.

... another teen with a 'crush' on someone

... the friend who dreams of being something more.

- The Loser/Depressed/Thing

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11352943/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11352943/ Sun, 07 Jan 2007 17:13:39 PST
Refered Errors {
406 { Not Acceptable }
409 { Conflict }
410 { Gone }
}

#end

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11232165/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11232165/ Fri, 29 Dec 2006 09:23:07 PST
1) i never change my status on messenger even if i am away

2) if i do change it somethings wrong so dont bother

3) i dont bother with punctuation and grammar when somethings wrong

4) as happy as i might seem its seldom real

5) my chest hurts

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11202957/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11202957/ Tue, 26 Dec 2006 16:28:28 PST ACCII: Charla Cassidy
Tech 1: Stefanie Rice
Tech 2: Mitch Thompson
AP Stats: Dont know yet.

2. What color is your razor/shaver?
Silver

3. What state are you from?
North Carolina, NC

4. Can you count backwards from 74?
and forward to it

5. Where were you Tuesday night?
Sitting in this same spot

6. Brown or white eggs?
White

7. Like rap music?
fuckers should be shot.

8.Ever taken a train?
yes

9. Experienced the twin towers falling in New York?
no

10. Do you know who Skye Sweetman is?
Who? lol

11. What day of the week is it?
Tuesaday

12. What was your Lunch?
nothing

13. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow ?
working and then something without me

14. What does your display name mean?
x01A4=420 memberance of Anna Svidersky

15. Ever had cream puffs?
yes

16. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
one and two

18. When was the last time you went to the movies?
With Stefanie to see SawIII

20. What is your bus number for school?
I drive

21. Is your hair curly?
not really

22. Last time you cried?
7/8 years ago though im close now

23. Ever walked into a wall?
no

24. Favorite character in scooby doo?
velma

25. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?
hawt pink shoe laces

26. Are you currently wearing socks?
yes

27. Favorite time of the year?
same as the other answers. When the leaves turn the fire red.

28. Do you enjoy the sound of violins?
not really.

30. Honestly, are you cool?
...

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11167095/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11167095/ Sat, 23 Dec 2006 20:59:17 PST 2. Female friend: Stefanie, Kayla, Erika, Jill
3. Vacation: Trip to Emerald Island
4. Memory: At the football game when Stefanie went to sleepin my arms when we were 'watching' the game. SheLookedSoPeaceful

Worst
1. Time of day: 1St period (7:55-9:25)
2. Day of the week: Monday-Friday
3. Food: all
4. Memory: So many..

Last
1. Person you saw: grandmother
2. Talked to on the phone: Anthony
3. Text: Stefanie
4. Messaged over myspace: Commented Jill
5. IM'd: Jill

Today
1. What are you doing right now? feeling bad, talking to Jill, this survey
2. Wearing? jeans, shirt, shoes, socks, boxers, and a belt
3. Better than yesterday? no

Tomorrow
1. Is: Saturday
2. Got any plans: None
3. Dislikes about tomorrow: None

Favorite
1. Number: ..x7971 (figure it out)
2. Song: depends on my mood
4. Season: Autumn

Currently
1. Missing someone: Yeah.
2. Mood: depressed
3. Wanting: SomeOneSpecial

True or False
I am a morning person: False
I am an only child: False
I am currently in my pj's: False
I am currently suffering from a broken heart: Truish/Falsish
I am online 24/7: Truish
I can be paranoid at times: True
I currently regret something that I have done: True
I curse frequently: truish
I curse when I'm mad: True
I enjoy country: Trueish
I love smoothies: True
I enjoy talking on the phone: only to one person
I have a hidden talent: False
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal: Ture
I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" guy/girl: True.
I have all my grandparents: False
I have at least one brother and/or sister: true
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor: True
I have changed a diaper: true
I have changed a lot over the past year: True
I have done something illegal: TRUE
I have had major/minor surgery: false
I have had my hair cut within the last 2 months: cant remember
I have had the cops called on me: true

Single or Taken: officially taken but my heart belongs to someone
Eye color: brown
Height: 5'6'' ish
Righty or lefty: Righty.
Can you make a dollar in change right now?: yea

FAVORITES
Kind of pants: Jeans
Animal: white tiger
Drink: doctor pepper
Month: What ever month the tree leaves turn fire red
Juice: apple
Cartoon: Serial Experiments Lain / Elfen Lied

HAVE YOU EVER...
Given anyone a bath: yes
Bungee Jumped?: kinda.. didnt work
Made yourself throw-up?: Yep
Skinny dipped?: yep
Played truth or dare: Yep
Been in a physical fight: yep
Been on a plane: Yep
Came close to dying: Yep
Been in a hot tub: yep
Fallen asleep in school: yep
Ran away: yep
Broken someone's heart: Yea
Cried when someone died: no
Fell off your chair: no
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: yea. but they never called or texted
Saved AIM conversations: yep
Made out with JUST a friend?: no
Used someone: no

SO FAR IN '06 I HAVE...

[x] broken a promise
[x] made a new friend
[x] fell in love
[] fell out of love
[] done something you swore never to do
[x] lied
[] stole
[x] went behind your parents back
[almost] cried over a broken heart
[I think] disappointed someone close
[x] hidden a secret
[xxxxxx] pretended to be happy
[] got arrested
[I tried to, she wouldnt get outta the car] kissed in the rain
[x] slept under the stars
[x] gotten in a fight
[I dont remember it] kept your new years resolution
[xxxxxxx lol] forgot your new years resolution
[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxStefaniexAnnxRicexxxxxxx x] met someone who changed your life
[] met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[] pretended to be sick
[x] left the country
[x] almost died
[] drank yourself retarded
[xxxxxxxxx] lost someone close to you
[] been to the hospital
[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] gotten closer to someone
[] streaked
[] cried over someone
[x] broken up with a gf or bf
[x] given up something important to you
[x] talked on the phone all night
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldnt try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[x] made a total fool of yourself
[x] met great people

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11148082/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11148082/ Fri, 22 Dec 2006 08:53:42 PST
• I am picky about grammer(grammar[Khalo]) and spelling.

• I am obsessed with computers. As in like. 'OMG'

• I keep a small circle of friends because of paranoia.

• I completed college before I completed high school.

• I have a illogical way of thinking but it makes since(sense[Z]).

• I'm an 18 year old virgin that has turned down sex more than I can count.



Tagging: Troy, Nicky, Stefanie, and pretty much whoever sees this thing and wants to do it.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11136528/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11136528/ Thu, 21 Dec 2006 09:31:41 PST
Stef means everything to me and she's helped me break alot of bad habits and she saved me from myself. I love her for everything she's done, is doing, and will do. She's so determined and when she sets her mind to something she doesn't stop. I'm to lazy for that so I really admire that about her.

I love you Stef.

**
Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays the rest of you
**

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11098056/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/11098056/ Sun, 17 Dec 2006 18:50:16 PST
..

no details. but it really sucked. please dont ask.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10984775/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10984775/ Fri, 08 Dec 2006 13:25:15 PST
Ok, Time for the second reason for the journal. Which isn't too much better than my last journal.

I am currently reading A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks. Yea, it's a really girly book. I'm more than 3/4ths of the way done and stuff. Stop reading if you want to read this book because this will ruin the ending for you.



















Ok, Well theres a girl named Jamie and she's one of the Christians that carry a bible everywhere with her, goes to the orphanage, and around just tries to help people out. And the main character is Landon. Which makes fun of Jamie and her father, which is a minister, and he needs a date for some dance and Jamie is the only one he can get so they go but before they go she says "on one condition, you dont fall in love with me". Well he ends up in a play for Jamie and it goes off fine. Landon falls hard for Jamie and some other things go on. Well Landon finally told her how he feels and she started crying. It turned out she had luekemia and she was given a year to live. She was told that 7 months before. Landon, ofcoarse, cries too. But as the book goes on he starts to wonder and ask her why she waited. I pretty muched stopped there. Im on page 214 of 240.

My question is that if you love someone and find out that you are dieing; would you tell them or let time tell them. and why?

I will repost this journal in about a week with my thought on it. But I want to her your sides first. <3


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I finished the book and I saw the outcome some few chapters ahead. But then I went back over it and realized there wasnt really anything to give it away till the beginning of that chapter. I really liked this book. Even though it was a "chick-flick" type genre. I reccommend it and I still would like your thoughts on the question above if you havent sent one yet.


=========


My own thoughts on this can go both ways ofcoarse. I agree with you all. But, because of who I am I have to say that I would tell. Time would tell the truth sooner or later, and if I, myself, loved them I would want to tell them. I would rather let the truth from my mouth hurt them. It would hurt less than not only finding out I was dieing but letting time do it would hurt because it says, "Hey, I didn't really think that this was important enough for you to know." I would want them loving me for who I am, sick or well. Not what I pretend to be.

Opposing my side though, I wouldnt want everyone looking at me sadly, trying to do everything for me, or anything along those lines. Just cause im dieing doesnt mean that I cant still do things myself.

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10938652/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10938652/ Sun, 03 Dec 2006 16:00:52 PST
Ok, with that said I can talk about Saturday. Ok, I spent Saturday morning bowling cause I have no life. Then I went to Walmart... also because I have no life. But I left Wal-Mart and while I was waiting on my mom to get back from the Walgreens I sent Stefanie a text message and we talked and stuff. Anyways, I came home saved a few things and started on homework..

Yes my Weekend is off to a perfect start right? 50 US history terms, a rough draft, a test, psychology work, and an upcomming final in my college class. What a life, so who wants to try a day in it? lol, just kidding.

Well, Stefanie called me up last night and asked if I wanna go down to the base and hang out where she use to work and meet some people. I was like sure asked my mom and I was gone. I talked to Stef on my way there about what to do once I got there cause I don't really go on base. (Therfore I dont know my way around) and she gives me directions. "go up to a light and turn right" She didnt know the street name so yea.. it was nice. Wasnt that hard to find really. And our time together began.

First I met Jill. She was pretty cool but she kinda kept to her phone. But im her new beest friend cause I thought that she was like four years older than she was. <<; She looked 17 so I said 17. Yea she was like 13 or 14. <<; Alwell, I'm not an age-tologist. Us three played around for pretty much the whole time hacky sacks and soccer balls. lol. Well, Jill got a call or something and left me and Stef and wow things got a bit lol-ish ... ok alot lol-ish On the ground rolling around tickling, biting, twitching. All types of fun things.

I met Erika, she was cool. She basically power slid in the parking lot and then got a flat tire and shes like "I have to go get a new car" It was totally funny cause She was being serious. XD

Stef, Jill, some dude from the kitchen, and I all stood around and took turns fixing the tire cause we are teamwork oriented? lol. I dont know, it was cool though.

Stef and I had our time alone before we each left and no its still not perverted, damn perverts. lol, but we had our time to talk, play abit, give her a hard time as always, and say our good byes. Then I went home for 5 or 6 hours of homework since I went to the base I had to make the time up. lol.

Ok, well This is really Sunday but I dreamed it when I was suppose to be asleep for Saturday so its going here alwell.

Yes Stef, I worked out some of the order so if you notice a difference you know why. lol.

I still dont remember how it started but I know that she was driving home from somewhere. Something happend and she crashed and died. (yes second dream like this.. I really dont like it) But I found out.

Well I had to go to school and so I did. I was sitting in WhiteHeads Classroom but my teacher was teaching and he asked if any one lost a baby blue hoodie and I asked if it was Carolina, cause Stef wears a baby blue calorina hoodie. And he said no so yea. I was like not mine.

Well, there was the funeral, which I went to. I had to, it was the last time I would see her. I didnt cry through the whole thing though. I went to the casket to pay my respect told her I love her and kissed her on the forehead and left the building.

With all this her parents and I were still argueing but somehow how became friendly-ish. I ended up going to their house and they were showing me things that belonged to Stef and things from when she was a baby. One of the items were like a placemat made of cloth and her mom told me that she use to sleep on it as a baby on the couch. I could smell her scent on it. I dropped to the floor on my knees with my face buried in the cloth on the bed.. Crying my eyes out cause I guess that it really hit me that she was gone and wasnt comming back. I cried there on the bed until I woke up.

--

I asked her if she ever slept on a cloth placemat looking thing and she said a few times when she lived on Georgia. And the cloths were on the couch. So it was akward to get that answer. I told her about the dream...

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10902721/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10902721/ Thu, 30 Nov 2006 14:37:34 PST [] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[x]I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[]I Had/Have Braces
[] wear glasses.
[] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[x] I've run away from home.
[] I've been kicked out of the house.
[] My biological parents are together.
[] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[] I've had children.
[] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[x] I'm in school.
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[] i've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[x] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[x] I've stolen something from my school

Embarrassment
[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.

Health
[] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x] I've gotten stitches.
[x] I've broken a bone.
[] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[] I had a serious surgery.
[] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[] I've been to Mexico.
[x] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[] I've been to Japan.
[] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[] I've been to Europe.
[] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] I've been to a casino.
[] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I've been Skiing
[x] I've been in a play.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[] I've ridden in a taxi.
[] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[x] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[x] I'm single
[] I'm in a relationship.
[] I'm engaged.
[] I'm married.
[] I'm currently in the middle of a divorce.
[] I've gone on a blind date
[x] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[] I've cheated in a relationship.
[] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[x] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've witnessed a crime.
[x] I've been in a fist fight
[x] I've been arrested.
[x] I've shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[x] I regularly drink. [not anymore but did]
[] I've passed out from drinking.
[] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[x] I've smoked weed
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[] I've eaten shrooms.
[] I've popped E.
[] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[] I've done hard drugs.
[] I have cough drops... ]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10854711/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10854711/ Sun, 26 Nov 2006 09:33:04 PST
- Sneak up behind her

- Grab her by the waist

- tell her shes beautiful, not hott

- tell her she has amazing eyes

- when your friends walk by say this is my girlfriend

- Say i love you to her randomly

- if shes sad take her in your arms and tell her everything will be okay

- kiss her on the forehead

- when you walk with her walk slowly.

- HUG HER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT MAKE HER HUG YOU!!

- Tickle her even when she says stop

- Dont say i love you unless you mean it

=

Yea, I read this and Thought of you Stef. Then again when do I not think of you. Ill talk to you tonight or tommorrow. Expect a text message. (even though youll get the text before this probably)

]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10848712/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10848712/ Sat, 25 Nov 2006 18:53:49 PST
11/22/06 - Well, to be honest with you all, I dont remember alot of this day. I spent the majority of it in the car cause im good like that. I think that Stef and I talked online some before I left.
Well, I was almost there (my uncles house) and I sent her a text to tell her I was almost there and that I would be thinking of her over Thanksgiving because shes all I have and the only reason I have to celebrate it. And we traded cute lil text like that. And I remember going to bed. >>;

11/23/06 - Turkey Day! >>; yes.. not really a fan of it. But it started off nice. It started with an almost everyday good morning text to Stef and wished her a happy thanksgiving let her know I loved her and stuff. Got one back telling me about her hectic schedule (which is it) and wishing me a happy thanksgiving and she loves me too. yes yes. mushy stuff
I went over to my uncles (I was in a hotel) and watched the movie Cars (which was awesome, I have it downloaded now ) and sent Stef a text telling her that she kinda reminds me of the light blue car from Radiator Springs.

11/24/06 - I get woken up to a text message to watch a music video by Stef. I watched it and it was sad. (Yes Stef I finally found it. Not all of us are computer smart like you) Well, I went ice skating that night. I had fun but I wish that I could have spent Thanksgiving with her. I wanna take her ice skating one day in a place semi close to us. But this place played all these sad songs about love. like all I want for Christmas is you. And ofcoarse it made me think of Stefanie. But you know what. Id be happy to spend Christmas with her. Even an hour with her on Christmas would make me happy ^_^ but im happy with her all the time. Its just better to spend it with people you love. So yea. XD

11/25/06/ - Im at home now. And it was a long drive home. Stef called. It was quite unexpected but I wont complain. I love her voice and the way she giggles and laughs. She had family stuff to do so im waiting on her call back. Thats about all I have to write about right now.


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☼ &&I.Love.Her ☼



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☼ Deviant Rolemodles ☼




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☼ Deviant Friends ☼


http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10790774/ Mon, 20 Nov 2006 15:45:37 PST lol

Hey, Because I have three heartbeats, I have one extra to give to someone special, and because you're my special someone you will always have that part of my heart. I'm giving it to you because it's mine to give to whom I please! And no matter what happens in the future it will be your's. My 3rd heartbeat is your's and your's alone. <3

Now you can't argue and say that isn't the sweetest text you've ever seen can you. I love the best girl there is to love. I'm sorry you all can't have her.

=================================
☼ &&I.Love.Her ☼



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☼ Deviant Rolemodles ☼




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☼ Deviant Friends ☼





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]]> ~x01A4 http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10790394/ http://x01A4.deviantart.com/journal/10790394/ Mon, 20 Nov 2006 15:10:02 PST
1.Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!
(oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with more than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

11. Guys get jealous easily.

12. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

17. Guys are very open about themselves.

18. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.

19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

23. Guys will brag about anything.

24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.

29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.

30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

31. No matter how much guys talk about butts and boobs, personality is key.

32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

37. Guys don't really have final decisions.

38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.


43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

44. Don't be a snob. Guys can be in... ]]> ~x01A4