http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:xShasha-Chan&section=today deviantART RSS for by:xShasha-Chan en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 07 Dec 2009 00:43:54 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/27114019/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/27114019/ Wed, 09 Sep 2009 13:15:54 PDT And even though you don't know why you're still alive, you should just be alive to smile and shine

And procasinating isn't even a word.
Most probably.

I'll look it up later.


ANYWAYS.
I'm such a bad girl. I promised I wouldn't abandon dA. If I remember correctly
Now I just read a journal from.. a month ago. A MONTH.
At least I had all my 22 journals now.
Now only 26 more relpies and 62 deviations.

Those huge-ass numbers are the reason I'm scared to go back to here. nd I cry when a number's gotten bigger .


ANYWAYS.
I'm fine.
I'm officially a smart girl now 8D!
And guess what? it drains energy. I think I already did more for chemistry in these two weeks than I did in two whole years on HAVO. And I even skipped an hour!
_{THAT'S NOT THE MENTALITY!}
WELL, THEY JUST SHOULDN'T GO AND TRY TEACHING ME THINGS WHEN IT'S FUCKING 4:00 PM ON A FRIDAYAFTERNOON!
_{WELL HECK LIKE YOU SHOULD. STUDY BITCH STUDY!}

ANYWAYS.
Beside it draining quite some energy.. it's also quite fun.
I've got 9 hours in my whole timetable of doing nothing and relax
_{AND YOU'RE STILL SKIPPING? THAT'S NOT THE MENTALITY!}
WELL MAYBE THEY JUST SHOULDN'T TRY TE-
_{WE ALREADY WENT OVER THAT}
YEAH. WELL. YOUR MOTHER WENT OVER THAT TOO.

ANYWAYS.
Nine hours. That's a whole lot of doing nothing. So what do you do then?
What you always do when you've got nothing to do: spend money & eat.
Both are bad for you. One for the calories. And one for the wallet
But it's not like I care of either two of those
_{THAT'S NOT THE MENTAL-}
WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!?
_{WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?}
WE AREN'T. CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROLL FOR COOL.

ANYWAYS.
I might care a little. Since both my wallet and my flat belly aren't infite . But hey. Walking to the supermarket is exercising too.

Yeah.
_{Can I say something?}
Yes. As long as you don't CAPS it.
_{Great. I don't have a shit to say. But I need this opportunity to drag you down. Her school's kinda awesome. She actually has quite some people she knows. Oh. And she likes to partyu. HARD. There's this one time that she had 4 guys on one evening. Oh! And in Amsterdam, when she was acting all pedo! OH! And did she tell yet about the giiiiiirls? And did you k-}
THAT'S ENOUGH
_{WHY ARE YOU ALLOWED TO TALK IN CAPSLOCK WHILE I CAN'T? WHAT'S RASIST!}
WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T GO AN-
_{THAT'S NOT THE MENTALITY!}


ANYWAYS.
I'm kind of.. active right now. Today was a lazy day. Didn't do a shit
_THA- so yeah. Sorry to spam you all. I'll write a proper journal later. When I'm not rebelling like fuck or something whatever I don't know yo momma.


I looked it up. It's "procrastinate". Procasinate.. That's only missing two letters 8D. Not bad for the fact I only read the word twice and I wasn't even sure what it meant.

I'm so smart.




------------
Into the challenge -> [link]
All about my characters -> [link]
Projects at the moment -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/26400386/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/26400386/ Wed, 05 Aug 2009 11:14:09 PDT Whatever the cause, whatever anyone may say, smiling is the best remedy

_{Where. The Fuck. Have you BEEN. Gosh.}
Ah, so you missed meeee~
_{I DID NOT. GO DIE IN A FIRE.}

Okay.. So. For the people that did miss me. Hi =3=.

The reason I don't check/update deviantart as often has quite some causes;

1.) Vacation? I mean. Duh. Even I don't feel like sitting behind my computer all day when the sun is shining, the water is cool and everything else outside it A-Ok~
2.) And I would love to do all that BUT I've gotta work.
_{Heheheheheeeeheeee~ >:3}
Yeah yeah laugh at me. The most beautiful weather and I gotta clean toilets and iron people's underwear. I've gotta do it 5 days a week 8D. And the best part is that when I'm not working the weather is shitty 8D.
I love my life.
_{She was grunting that last part.}
3.) I've discovered this new bloggingsite and it's hella fun~
_{Fun? FUN? It SUCKS. Dude. It took you 2 fucking months to discover how to smalltext. And it takes AGES to smalltext. I LOVE DEVIATART. GIVE ME BACK.}
Yeah yeah, don't worry. Most of the things I update there are pictures & little stories about my life. Deviantart will always be the best <3.

So, my life.
It's involved a lot of boose, working, food & parties. YEAH!
My vacation in Florida was pretty awesome too~ Even though it mostly involved shopping, rain and the beach.
AND my little brother.. GOSH he was sticking to me like hell Ah well. That's why I love him =3=.

Not much more to update I guess. Except for I need to talk to ~Malthinae REALLY soon and I miss ~Itihlewn's replies.
_{She's slow. She's got so many deviations and messages and doesn't even look at the last pages with the oldest comments. She's so mean. Secretly she hates you all, hope you die in a fire and burn in hell afterwards 8D.}
I DON'T. I SWEAR. Not the burning part, at last.

Sidenotes;
If you wanna know the bloggingsite; just ask me =3=
I read The DaVinci Code and it was kickass <3
I still need to buy a shitload of pressents for a shitload of people ;~;
I've got like millions of drawings on my desk
HOLY FUCKING SHIT I used soooo little D:. It's almost scary :'c.

I love you all


------------
Into the challenge -> [link]
All about my characters -> [link]
Projects at the moment -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/25694006/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/25694006/ Sat, 04 Jul 2009 17:53:28 PDT BECAUSE, I'M A TIGERR!! >:3
... Right. xD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edit; Thank you ~Malthinae for your fabulous guest-preformance 8D

So ehh.. Hi .
Apperantly, I've got a laptop here. With internet 8D. So I can actually stay somewhat updated on those HUGE amout of sites I actually visit.
I also found out I'm WAY too active on the internet and that it's not good IN AMERICA!

So; I'm here to reply to ehh.. most of the messages or something. I don't really think I'll read much journals or see much deviantions because.
Heloohoo? Florida? I'd be a fruitcake if I spend my time behind a laptop instead of in my own fucking swimmingpool . IN AMERICA!

AND it;s the 4th of July here.
_{Whoooa! How awesome! Psst, Ill tell you a secret. IT'S THE 4TH OF JULY EVERYWHERE.}
Yeah. But here it's special 8D. Independenceday or something. All those big Amerifagscans are busy celebrating their country and I goota celebrate it with them 8D. How absolutely fun to celebrate a typical American National Celebrationthingday when all you have in common with America is the fact you speak English and your love for fastfood.
_{You hate fastfood.}
Well.. I did make a point, didn't I ? Anyways. I'll be setting things on fire now with a great American feeling 8D. Because I can. IN AMERICA!

Lea.. please don't kill me .
I horribly fail at making short journals. My stay here is fine, BTW xD.
Why do I always small-talk and forget the important things ?
& I love you all. Because I can. xD. IN AMERICA!
_{The bad IN AMERICA-joke is from YGO:TAS. I can use it now, so deal with it. IN AMERICA.}
/Edit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, this is ~Malthinae speaking! You're probably now all, "wtf is someone hijacking Marsh' account? O.o " To calm you down: I'm not. xD
Yesterday evening, Marsh and I (and a few other friends here on dA) had our graduation... Thinger. That is, we got our official piece of paper on which someone wrote in pretty letters that we graduated. Like that. xD But, that's not what this is all about. Because I talked to Marsh' that evening, and she was all like, "zomg I'm going to California Florida for three weeks and I forgot to tell people on deviantART! ", so I joked, "Ok, I'll hijack your dA and write a journal for ya xD ", and she was all like, "OK! 8D "
So here I am :3
She especially asked me to start the journal with something positive in fat letters, so I did. I'm such a good friend! 8D *shot*

So, since Marsh' is a bit of a buckethead every now and then and seems to have the urge to forgot to tell important things, I'm here to tell you that she's gone for a while. She's off for three weeks to effin' California Florida! I wanna go toooo Y^Y

...

I kinda think that's it.

Don't miss Marsh' too much, and don't be jealous at her for being able to go to The Land of The American People for three effin' weeks, even in times of chrisises and other downward spirals!
[/sarcasm]

With love from me, but a lot of love from Marsh' too (because even though she forgot to write this journal, I bet she still loves all of you!),

~Malthinae


_{... I kinda realize that this journal has a very sarcastic tone over all..
Don't get me wrong, I envy her for going to California Florida, but been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I really do wish her the best of luck and fun and.. All other positive things xD
I'm just not always the type of person to admit those things in public} ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/25651501/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/25651501/ Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:47:41 PDT And if you don't feel like thinking positive, go to sleep until you do

Oh joy, I was tagged by ~Itihlewn.
Currently I'm happy AS FUCK. So this will be such a happy tag full of flowers and rainbows and hearts and lollipops and whiiiiiieee~

I was joking.



RULES:

1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 8 things about themselves on their journal.
3. At the end you have to choose 8 people to tag, and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their page and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1.) I could be at a real awesome party right now with a trampoline and a lot of friends and marshmellows and everything
_{But I'm at home being alone and lonely and hating my parents for hating me.}
2.) Yes, at the moment I'm in a mood everyone may drop dead in front of me. And I wouldn't know if I'd laugh or just look at it because NOTHING makes me laugh at the moment. Nothing.
3.) The fact someone asked me out doesn't make it better. _{It's the ENORMOUS guy with acnea and a nerd and and and.. he's just ieuw. And I just thoyght he was over me ;~;}
4.) The weather's so hot here: I'll die if I don't drink something every hour. And I need at least 4 ice creams on a day or else I'll melt.
5.) I feel different if I don't put an after every sentence. And I recently figured how stupid I actually am for putting it after every sentence. Because why the hell would I say "I'm fine" with a -face? That's right. I wouldn't.
6.) People like me better if I smile; being the moody azijnzeiker just doesn't suit me as much as the bubbly smiley girl.
7.) I hate myself. And I hate myself for the fact I'm hating myself because I shouldn't.
8.) Everytime I pull a crancy-face, a puppy dies.
There've been a lot of puppies dying this hour.
_{The worst thing is that tought actually made me smile xD}

And I tagg;
Fuck the world. If I don't feel like tagging someone I WON'T. So go cry in a corner because I didn't gave you the love you deserved. Bitch.
*/emo outburst*

Actually, my life is pretty much perfect up till today
I've got my friends
Lots of alcohol
Lots of free time to spend with both
I've pretty much got everything I desire. up until tonight.
_{You're such a wanky crybaby crying over little things that are insignificant to the world and demanding a little thing you didn't get out of the lot of things you did get.}
I know, but so what? I'm still a rockstar.
Now STFU and go cut yourself.
_{..You're so mean to me :'c}

Watch out world.


And remember guys; if you're ever gonna do a tag. Do it while being happy.


------------
Into the challenge -> [link]
All about my characters -> [link]
Projects at the moment -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/25600446/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/25600446/ Sun, 28 Jun 2009 06:15:38 PDT Okay, so I've got characters. And I wanted to upload this AGES ago, but I'm a queen at eeh.. well.. I've got that "STFU I'll do it later"-flu. BUT now I'm uploading this 8D

I've got 4 characters which are conected with one thing: they live in the same house. They're all somehow left behind by their parents and never got adopted. They're pretty much used to living with many other people in a house, but after all, they're all longing for a home on their own.
The house they live in is runned by two people: an old maried couple. It's located in the middle of nowhere next to a road; a couple of miles driving and you'll reach a small town. If you drive the other way, you'll reach a city. The house is surrounded with nature and the most notable is a big flowerfield that reaches for the horizon.



Name: Annet Tanmesin
Age: 21
Characterize: 1.68 cm tall, 51 kg

Likes: Her cell phone, her necklace, those sheep clouds in which you can see all kinds of shaps and things, most animals
Hates: Eating, spiders, lovey-dovey-romancecrap, betrayal, being alone.

Background: She’s not really human. She was subposed to be an angel, but how that’s going is quite difficult. You can just asume she’s human most of the time. She was originally HEAVILY abused by her parents when she was just a small kid. No one noticed, though. One day, her parents die in a ‘car accident’ and people forced her to leave the town quie.. forcefully. After that, she’s had quite some foster families, but they all somehow didn’t work out and she was on the street again. After her 5th family confessed they hated her, she ran away into the forest. After that, she’s got a 3 year gap in her memory and ended up in earth.
Character: She’s very noisy and yells at people all the time, only to hide how insecure she is. She acts before she things, which makes her a b*tch in the beginning of a conversation. After that she begins to doubt herself and will be a little more carefull with what she says. She’ll always be reckless though. She’s smiling most of the time and can have lots of fun. Even though she’s smiling so much, she’s very easy to anger or upset. When that happens she mostly acts like it’s nothing, and then goes of crying somewhere else. And after that she hates herself for crying because it doesn’t suit her ‘tomboy’ reputation. And even thoguh she’s a huge crybaby, she’s also very optimistic that things’ll be alright. The next day, she’s happy as always. She can be really creative and come up with great solutions.
Relationships: Nathaly is like her best friend, except she’s somewhat hessitating to trust her. She hates Danny for being such a jerk. *coughshesecterlylikesitcough*. She really pities Kuzco for that she had what he wants. She has the possibility to grand his wish, but is somehow forbidden to. And even though others think he’s nuts, she believes in him and wishes him all the best.

Name Orgin: Annet is actually some random name, and it’s mostly shortened to ‘Ann’. Her last name is a creation of mine: the combination in Tana (which means ‘shop’ in Japanese) and ‘Mesuinu’ (W... ]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/25387970/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/25387970/ Thu, 18 Jun 2009 11:53:09 PDT Chin up, straight ahead and smile all along~

I PASSED MY FINAL EXAM HELL YESH MOTHER FUCKERS~ <3333333!
My hands were freakin' trembling the 15 minutes before.. it was HECTIC on MSN but I did it; I passed <33333!
I was soo happy, the first thing I did was scream it out of my window. Yes I did And it felt gooooood~
I wanna do it again once, when I've got something to be really happy about <3

I called most people dear to me, and most of my friends passed too <3. It's a happy day now. Really <3.


And that's pretty much all I have to say right now~
Oh, one more thing:
I'M FREAKING MYSELF OUT WITH MY "Nao~" AND MY "=3=".
It's all so overcute and stuff. I really wonder where the fuck I picked up that addiction anyways :'c.
_{But you are cuuuuute nao~}
Don'tchu EVER say that again in my face.

And I want to apologize for my sudden activity
Boredom and markers sure know how to get me drawing nao~

So she said "what's the problem baby?
"What's the problem I don't know..
Well maybe I'm in love~"

I'm going to school at 5 to go and get my grades~
And that time is NOW
Honestly, I don't think my grades were that awesome.. they WERE full of suprizes though.
So here they are:
_{I'll note it like Subject: ^Schoolexam - Grande exam - Final grade}

English; ^7.3 - 7.4 - 7.
Dutch; ^6.4 - 6.3 - 6.
Biology; ^6.3 - 6.1 - 6.
Physics; ^5.8 - 5.7 - 6.
Chemistry; ^6.6 - 6.3 - 6.
Maths; ^6.2 - 7.0 - 7.
Art; ^6.2 - 5.1 - 6.

I think the most suprising grade was Maths~! Seriously, a FUCKING 7. And I didn't do a fucking shit about it! I'm pretty satisfied with physics too, since I managed to get a 6, even though most of my school career I was failing the subject . That's just.. magic

I do feel sorry 'bout my chemistry. Even though I didn't do a fucking thing about it, and I screw'd up my test COMPLETELY.. a 6.3 is really disappointing for what I'm capable of. Maybe I should've studied a little better though . I also hoped English'd be better.. but apperantly, the whole fucking Netherlands did the test just fine, which is why I ended up with a not-so-awesome-grade.
But the most important thing is I graduated <3~!!

And *whitedog1 blocked me FOR NO. FUCKING. REASON.
And I love her comics ;~;.
Life can be a bitch sometimes ;~;
_Dramaqueen.


Loveyouall

------------
Into the challenge -> [link]
Projects at the moment -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/25173440/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/25173440/ Wed, 10 Jun 2009 07:11:31 PDT Maybe today's bad, but hey, it could've been worse.
Sorry for the edit. It's a whole new thing now .


AND Y'KNOW WHAT!
I feel like talking about me 8D
So here are some random facts you probably didn't knew about me 8D
Because I can.
_{Again, it's no tag or something.}



OMG SERIOUSLY They started some kind of anti-chewing gum campaign AFTER I leave the school. IT'S SO FUCKING HILARIOUS .
I used to be an one-man-army with my eternal chewing for at least 4 years. I've been caught so many times, yet I only had to clean chewing gum only once. People laughed at me for FINALLY getting what I deserved. But right back at them: it was the beginning of the schoolyear, so I only had one
I love life, I love karma, I love their bad timing and I love the fact a friend of mine got caught for chewing while she never does . Gosh I'm such a meanie . But still. I love it, it's brilliant
And secretly, this was not a random thing about me .
_{Thank you, Captain Obvious!}

When I was a kid, I wasn't afraid of anything. Not even tigers or lions or guns: nothing. There was something that was a little 'scary', but I ckept on saying that 'afraid' isn't the same as 'scary'.

4 years old, I was terrified by my own television at night. I used to think there was some kind of logo that popped up on the screen that said scary things. I wanted to think it away, but it didn't work. When I was 6, it finally disappeared and left each other as some kind of good friends.

I figured just yesterday those two things contradict each oter, but that's just me. I always do so

I've got a great imagination Just now, I was walking with my NEW PEDOPHILE TOY _{An electronic bathing duck that's stuck on my pant and lights up/makes a sound if you press a button. It might be a good toy to lead 5-year-olds to a van with 'free candy' on it.} and it was raining a little, making me thing "OMG I can be electocutaded, fusing my powers and the ducks' together! I'd be a human with super awesome powers that if you press my bellybutton, I'd light up and quack. AND I'D FUGHT EVIL WITH IT!"
Yes, that kind of imagination. It's wonderful, really

I brag about my handicaps, like my bad sight, short concentration span and some other things, yet I refuse to get them checked and get glasses/take medicine. The reason for this, I don't know myself.

I loved school as a kid, and I still do. Not because of the fact it's educating, but because of the people.

I'm not schizophrenic. I'm serious.
_{You just like to argue with yourself, don't you?}
For once, that's right . Life's boring when everyone thinks you're right all the time.... ]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/25105323/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/25105323/ Wed, 03 Jun 2009 11:10:29 PDT You're my sunshine

I feel so untouched and
I want you so much and
I just can't resist you
It's not enough to say that I miss you.

WARNING! This journal may contain a shitload full of happy and unhappy things that may not interest you in any way. Thank you.

SO! I'm FINALLY done with my final exams <33! Today was my last: English. I thought I did fine _{It's ENGLISH. Like hell.} But since someone checked which is not that good in English, I'm beginning to doubt it . I'll check it later, but I still think it'll be fine. _{Even though you were so stupid to took your wrong dictionary with you.} As for the rest of my exams: besides Chemistry, all of them went pretty average. Which pretty much sucks, because I wanted to show I could get good grades by DOING something. The only subject I actually worked for was Biology, and even though it felt I did fine, I'm pretty sure the grade will turn out avarage. Or worse. But let's look at the bright side 8D.
I'll get the results on the 18th, but for now I'll *try* to live the oh-so-perfect life.

And I'm not so sure wheter it'll work, and I got serval reasons for that.

The fact that my parents are FORCING me to work. It's not that I care that much, I feel so lazy for not having to work one day in my live until this day. _{Except for babysitting, but that's pretty much doing nothing in someone else's house xD.} I'm to lazy to find work, and I don't want to cancel al my fun because I've got to do something or something. Ah well.. we'll see how it turns out.

And my stomach is KILLING me. PERIOD. And It's not because of my period, really. Two people cause it.

First is the ex-best-girlfriend, which I love, loved and still love. She was my best friend, we saw each other every day and had a shitload of fun together. Untill she moved to a faraway place and the contact jsut.. died down. It didn't feel right, and I did want to visit er when I could. But I do go on vacation a lot, and when I didn't.. somehow there was something that made me stay home even though I didn't want to.
And so our contact died down. Until this friday, when she suddenly talked to me again, only telling me to read a tabloid: she has boulimia. And I've got to read that in a fucking tabloid. About my best friend.
It hurts. It hurts to know you've grown so far apart. It hurts to know that she wasn't doing that great, but you didn't realize. It hurts to know you could be there for her, but you weren't. It really does. And I've been feeling guilty about it for a while now, even though I know I couldn't do much about it anyways.
I've read the article now, and I cried while reading. Others that knew didn't really care as much as I did, saying she was exagerating as always. Still, I'm not like them. It really hit me hard.
I jsut want her beside me.

The second person is the guy with a million emo-stalker-fangirls. The guy that's been in my life for a while now, and.. well.. it's been a pretty wack time between us . And it feels stupid to say, since I've sworn it. But a lot of thinking and the breakup with his gf made my head trigger again. And now I'm in love.
I just want him beside me

And those two combined on a fridayevening made my head.. tumble and even more unable to concentrate. Maybe that's why the last two tests went so different as the others. But now I;ve got that nervy feeling in my stomage again, and I don't know how to get rid of it. IT'S SO ANOYING.

Ah well. Time heals. I'll find a way for me to get over it, right?
_{You won't.}
Whauw, thanks for the support, really :'D! Seriously, fuck you.
_{And you're very much welcome.}


BUT there're good things happening too 8D! My summervacation started, YES <333333! _{It didn't. Your Spanish and Biology needs you.}
STFU I'll do that later.
And _{beside working} I already found some summer-projects to do 8D.

~ I'm going to Americaaa 8D. With my parents & granny's :3. It's gonna be fun :3
~ I'm going to exercize with some friends . Yes, it's weird. But it'll be fuuuuuuun 8D.
~ I've got this whole list to do wiht a great friend of mine, which we'll BREAK DOWN into pieces and TRY IT ALL 8D!
~ DO A BIKINICARWASH! At some dude's dad's car
~ GET DRUUUUUNK! WHOOOOOO!
~ No seriously: party my ass off.
~ Learn myself some Spanish/Japanese (on... ]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24995605/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24995605/ Thu, 28 May 2009 11:13:44 PDT _{Because finishing a journal-title is for douchebags 8D} *shot*
Perfection is for plastic, mistakes are for real.

Don't we all have that feeling once a while?
Go outside, the weather's delicious~
And so I did, grabbing a pillow and lay down for a while in the open air, staring at the clouds.

It's fun, seeing them pas by. Fluffy coulds in all shapes and colours. It somewhat makes you realise how wonderful this world actually is, how small our lives are compared to this huge universe we live in. As they drifted by, I began thinking about life, and weather the heaven looks down at us from the clouds. Wether heaven lookes at the big picture of the world, or just at a small piece as a small individual, like we humans do. Would they agree on our way of living? Is the rain that drops their crying, or their blessing?

While thinking, the clouds slowly began growing bigger, more compact. Started swallowing the blue air. It made me laugh. While looking up, I looked at the clouds. But shouldn't I be just watching the blue space? World may never know, we may never know.

The clouds grew darker and the temprature started to drop. It was 10 PM that I decided the coulds were watched enough today.

An hour later or so, heaven started to dry, and big flashes of lighting crashed to the ground. Their screaming and raging made some people shudder, some people laugh. I walked back to my window and looked outside. The sight was truely amazing to behold. My breath hit the glass, and all I could do was look and watch the flashes burn and the rain drop down.

We don't know.
We act so high and mighty, yet we're unable to chage anything. We're insignificant. Nature can ruin us, wether we're gentle or not, it's not our choice.
We don't know.
Our purpose in life, wether what we do is right our wrong. Nature doesn't really tell us, neither do the angels from above.
We don't know. Even though we act so.

Maybe life's just about smiling, and taking what is served.



_{Next journal will be about my exams, because I probably did all of them by then. And about my heart, because I think I've made my decicion. Till then; take care <3}

------------
Into the challenge -> [link]
All about my characters -> [link]
Projects at the moment -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24885608/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24885608/ Fri, 22 May 2009 05:52:52 PDT Fully enjoy the sunshine

So, I’ve taken 3 of the 7 exams already!
First was Dutch, which I think I did pretty.. I don’t know. I think my summery looks good, but the rest will be crap . You’re able to check your answers on the internet, but if I will, I’ll become paranoia if I screw’d up, which’ll drop my motivation even MORE
_{If that’s even possible.}
The next day, I had 2 exams (and it was my lil’ bro’s B-day 8D. He’s almost a real teenager now. Damn.): Maths & Art. And I barely studied for them because if was a fucking lot. Looking back, I’M GLAD I DIDN’T . I hear eveyone saying things like: “My gosh, there were, like, so many things in it you didn’t have to learn!” Maybe that’s why I didn’t completely screw’d them up 8D.
So far, so good I guess.
Bad thing is that I heard they might scrap 2 questions from the Math-exam. And one of the 2 is one I actually answered correctly. Believe me, you feel like crap if that happens to you .
At the moment, I'm studying Biology. And it's sooo interesting!

About my non-exam life:
So I said earlier, my little bro turned 12. And joy joy we had to celebrate that with the family. So during dinner, my little nephew barely eat (He doesn’t eat ANYTHING, seriously.) and then starts talking about how fat I actually am and that I should become a sumo, that fat one. With HUUUUGE fatties and boobs. And that he was serious. FML. Lately, I wasn’t even on diet or something, didn’t think of myself as fat anymore. Not really, at least. Nice.
Ah well. I’m not gonna pay attention to food now anyways, way to busy with other things.

Which made me think: In 2 weeks.. I’m free. Free to do whatever I want, whenever I want.. As long as I do something about my Spanish .
Almost summerbreak <3
Summer <3.
Weather’s so nice today. So summerish. Dear gosh I love life <3.

Now’s not the time to worry about them.
I’ll think about that later.

Well. ‘guess that’s it .
Eat your vegetables everyone



]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24747713/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24747713/ Sun, 17 May 2009 13:01:24 PDT After smiling comes more smiling
_{There's actually text under this lyrics.}


Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Time Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life
We knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
And we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah, I can promise you
That by the time that we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah, here's to you
This one's for you

Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
Oh, it's what you do to me
What you do to me



I realized I love dA. Period. .
Because I finally started a blogg somehwere else on the internet. Start over, write something new. And up until now, there hasn't been much text and much rubish . Like pictures and quotes.
_{You're only there for 2 FUCKING DAYS.}
I know, but I came to realize it's no fun when no one reads my issiues. I guess I love you spying on my life, big time
_{You're hella-stupid.}
/care .

Anyway. I HOPE this'll be the last update for a while, since tomorrow our exams are starting.
_{I swear to God, tomorrow she's gonna get a heart attack before entering the room because of the stress-release. She hasn't stressed UNTIL NOW.}
Yeah, that.
I WISH I had a little more stress, because I might've motivated me to study. Now I was just being a lazy-assed bitch that actually did nothing.
God bless me .

But while doing nothing, I've been thinking. About how I feel. Somehow.
And even though I dislike it and I don't want it, I can't just ignore it, I really can't.
I guess I'll just have to love them both.
_{You're an idiot, you know that?}
Yes, very much.

This REALLY isn't the time to have my period. PERIOD.

One of my favourite websites is down. Nedlyrics.net. Full with lyrics & translations. GONE.
I already found a replacement though .
It's pretty badass .

AND I just LOVE MLIA and FML.
They're awesome and hilarious.


Some more good/bad news; My -addiction is starting to wear off D:.
That either means I'm too serious, or that I just got over it, period .

Loveyouall <33
_{NOW GET BACK TO WORK FOR FUCK'S SAKE.}

------------
~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24629434/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24629434/ Thu, 07 May 2009 04:06:31 PDT Sparkle like there's no tomorrow

Lol journal 8D. My internet has been cut down, so I'm sorry if you have to wait LONG for a reply.

Guys. They come in all kinds and seisures. It's quite wonderfull how every singe guy can have a different feel. Here's a few:

The scary guy
There's this guy that's AT LEAST 6 ft. tall. He's ugly, scary, hopeless.. but since a few of my cool *dork* friends like to hang out with him, I guess I have no choice but to 'accept' him. But that doesn't really mean I'm befriended. Yet, he managed to ask me out to our promnight. And I was like.. WHAAT!?!?
I'm really bad at turning people down. I guess because I know how it hurts.. but I don't want to go with him, REALLY.
Aghr. I wish he never asked me.

The weird guy
There's this other guy which his B-day is today. And.. I like him. But there wasn't a single time I though: "Hey, let's buy him a present!" until a friend of mine (Female which is REALLY pushy in me confessing to him) said: "YOU HAVE TO BUY SOMETHING!" And so I did:
- Beer (lol it's still in my locker)
- A little cupcake with a small candle that I lighted.
- A weird purple thing with eyes that's really fun/dorkish to squeeze.
- A watergun.
And I was like "HOW HOPELESS CAN I BE!?!" And.. well.. I really ashamed myself by giving it to him and I REALLY wished to drown in the floor that moment. But hey, he didn't really mind. The only thing that was horrible was my presentation of the presents "

The lonely guy
There's this other dude that;s really awesome and a great friend of mine and he's fun and dork and lol in every way. He just broke up with his GF. And I was like.. yeah. Somehow. I used to like him. BIG TIME. And I guess the fact they broke up was some sort of trigger in my head shooting me. I don't know how to explain. I forbid myself to love him, because he's a great friend and already HAS a gf. Somehow I have to refind that meganism again, because it only means trouble now. It's not really love.. I guess. But.. a possibility to love.

The ignoring guys
Actually, there's two of them. One guy that's really cool and fun to talk with, he really has his issues though. I've seen him once, andI used to talk to him a lot. But now somehow, he's grown distant. It's not really a problem big time, but it feels like I did something wrong once and I feel somewhat.. sad that we don't talk to each other anymore.
It's the same thing with another guy, but that's probably because he's busy with his GF and study and blah.

The new guy
He's a dork BIG TIME. And I've been chatting with him for a while. He's fun to talk to, and.. yeah. That's it .


Whoa. Seeing all thins, I feel like I should become either a lesbienne, or some guy-hating... yeah .

Time's up, I gotta go
I still love you all despite my pointless journal

_{Studying is going.. not so well. But I'll fix that xD}

------------
Into the challenge -> [link]
Projects at the moment -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24546227/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24546227/ Sat, 02 May 2009 10:40:19 PDT It's all about that little smile

No, I'm not 8D *SHOT*

So, if I'm not dead.. why don't I do any fucking thing on dA anymore?
Simple:

1.) I've got exams coming up.
_{Isn't that, like, the period you spend your time on dA almost 24/7?}
Usually, it is. But since these exams are HUGE I'm forcing myself to study. OMG CALL A DOCTER
It doesn't work, I'm mostly watching Bleach xD

2.) Vacantion.
And it's a horrible lot of fun <33! I've done.. well. Much things. And if I were to write ALL of it down it'd be a hella-long journal, so I'm not gonna
_Bitch.
Sorry . It's probably not much of your interests anyway

3.) Braindead.
It's not like I can't come up with ideas for art, it's just that my hands refuse to co-operate
That, and I discovered that traditional is my new digital <3
And I'm WAY to lazy to take pictures of every scrible I make. So touché.
_Bitch.
Sorry . It's probably not much of your interests anyway

4.) I'm doing fine.
My head's not as mix'd up as it usually is.. and.. that's pretty much it
_Bitch.
Sorry . It's probably not much of your interests anyway


...
Whoa. That was actually quite a short journal.
IT'S A MIRACLE.

I must feature people. Once. Since I somewhat promised.
Mah. It can wait.
Just like that art-things I have to finish for people.

_Bitch
..Yeah, I love you too.



Such a short journal, such little -use.. maybe there's something wrong.
Nah. I'm imagening things

------------
Into the challenge -> [link]
Projects at the moment -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24193779/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24193779/ Sun, 12 Apr 2009 03:48:08 PDT Everything's gonna be alright

.

Wednesday was the day that I lost all my faith.
I didn't want to love
I never wanted to love
And I swore I'd never love again.

x.

Tuesday was the day things were slowly recovering.
It wasn't that bad
And school was actually doin' great
I'm somewhat accepted for VWO.
2 more years to spend at school, and I don't even bother.
It was that day, that there were chicken in my pants.
He knew about it

xx.

Friday was the day of smiling.
When I gained back some faith
That not everyone in this whole wide world
Was out to get me.
She's an exeption to my rule.
It was that day, that I made 8 cupcakes.
He ate one of them.

xxx.

Fridayevening was something different.
Thunderstorms and rain were pooring down the sky.
I had fun with some people
I punched some other guys
I thought about him some time.

xxxx.

Saturday was the day of bycycles.
A new bike. Cycling to faraway.
To have my fun with an awesome person
I got a mindread. I drew a bike.
I gained eggs.
I spoke to him a lot.

xxxxx.

Saturdayevening was where it fell apart.
I didn't go to his party
To drink and confess
I went to another party
to drink and confess
I laughed. I screamed.
And went to bed with
a messed up head.

xxxxxx.

When I woke up at 5 o'clock
My mind was blanc.
And after 10 seconds of rest
It half-drunk sang

Now don't go wasted
It'll be just fine
If you want to get to me I'll say goodbye.

I'll say you what I want
What I really really want.
So tell me what you want
What you really really want.

xxxxxxx.

When I was awoken at 10 o'clock
All I felt was regret.



Either way. Things went wrong.
And now.
I still don't know everything.
Está un pollo en mís patalones.



All I know is nothing.


------------
Into the challenge -> [link]
Projects at the moment -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24124999/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/24124999/ Wed, 08 Apr 2009 06:58:47 PDT It was supposed to be this way

Humans are wonderful things.
They've got their minds on their own: unexplainable and impenetrable.
Everyone's different. Everyone's got their character on their own.
You might know one of those people, you might know more.
But it'll never be enough to understand everyone around you.

I give up.

Humans are not to be trusted. They're made to hate, and be hated.
If you're one of those people who takes life as a fairytale, who sees everything in a good way..
You're a fool

The world is not to be trusted. Everyone's there for you. Smiling at you. Trying to be nice.
It's always been fake. Everyone's out to get you.

I don't get people.
Never have. Never will.
I've never been able to understand myself. The way I life.
I've been a mystery to me.
So why would I expect I understand others.
Why would I trust them if I don't trust myself?

I got my values.
So you can keep yours, alright?

It's that time again. The time of tears. The time of misery.
Misery's my company. It follows me around.
I guess that after 3 times of being hurt. 3 times of being dumped. Let down. Betrayed.
I would have learned my lesson.

It turns out I still have to learn.

Trapped by their lies. Fooled by their smiles.
Humans are the root of evil.
Friends are for fools.
I'm all my world needs.
Just go the hell away.


In the end, all there's left is
Sadness and Sorrow.




------------
Into the challenge -> [link]
Projects at the moment -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23895951/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23895951/ Thu, 26 Mar 2009 08:06:45 PDT There ain't no use crying when life's smiling at you <3

_{Okay. This is just something for me to keep track on, so you may very well ignore this.
I'll do the taggs first, since they might be useful for you}

COMMENT AND...

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.

And something more: The first 10 people that will reply in this journal will be featured in my next journal. So you better go and post something pointless 8D.

_{Now for the not-interessting part:}




Art & stuff

Projects @ the moment:
100 theme challenge (To be found here)
5 requests
(~Neviril -> Done
~Lisetteke -> Line-art
~Itihlewn -> Idea
~Neills -> Idea
*Amnetic -> Pretty much nothing
Non-projects
Soul Eater Fanart
Collab with ~Itihlewn which I still have to colour

Characters & Co

_{Yes. I do have a character. And I decided she was lonely, so now I have four . And I decided to actually DO something with them for the moment. It's traditional art, and I will NOT colour it.}
:star-: Charactersheets (All finished; gotta upload 'em one day)
Comic #1 (some panels finished)
Comic #2 (Sketch'd)
Character in Oekaki COLOURED. (4x)

Anime & Manga

_{I'll note it like this: [Episodes seen/Total episodes]}
Watching/unfinished at the moment
BLEACH [116/~]
Naruto [148/~]
Vampire Knight GUITLY [9/~]
Soul Eater [35/51]
Full Metal Alchemist [11/51]
Hellsing [4/11]
_{I know I know. Way too much. But still last time I actually saw an episode of.. anyone of them was 2 months ago. I've been 'busy', y'know I already decided I won't watch Naruto anymore since it sucks at the moment}

Other crap 8D

_{Everything I HAVE to do but doesn't f... ]]>} ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23848953/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23848953/ Mon, 23 Mar 2009 13:17:20 PDT I gotta stop using words that sound interesting but I secretly do not know the meaning of.

This world.
Is watching me


Why do I feel like every move.
Every step.
Every breath I take.
Is being observed carefully?

Why does it feel like
My heart desires.
My deepest wishes.
All the closest things
Are being shown on display?

I cannot say how I feel anymore.
I'd want to but something.
Somewhere.
Someone.
Is holding me back.


Natsukage ~ Summer lights
The song of eternal happiness.


Get the fuck out. NOW.
_{You're paranoia. Go kill yourself already.}
How about no?


I still love you guys <3.

------------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23743116/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23743116/ Tue, 17 Mar 2009 08:40:49 PDT There ain't no use crying when life's smiling at you <3



I would stop time to stay with you
I would stop time so we won't move

Memories

Finding your lif as a super masive black hole. Unable to oversee what you did, or what you were going to do. Findiing yourself unable to recall distant memories.
Life. A short period of time in which you have to do something. You have to find your purpose, without any hints of what you need to achieve. Why is it that we forget things, when all you need to do is remember. Remember the good times and the bad.
But sometimes, there're things which make you remember something. Words. Countless of possible combinations. Find the right combination; create poetry. Who's to decide what's wrong and what's right? You. You're the creator of your art. Whether you do a good job or not is your choice.
Some people, like me, start early writing things down. Whether it's bad or not. And mostly, you find things to be horrible. Swearing you'd never write something again. Sometimes, with a little luck and unexpected events, things might turn out good.
Might.


The world is just a sketchbook. It's your job to write your story
Colour the world. Make it shine.

Cold

Standing up, getting your stuff ready, on your way to the snow. Expiriencing new things, facing you're probably gonna spend some quality time with the snow. Things might roll in a good way: snow is your best friend. With lots of people in a bus for 6 hours ain't that bad. The secret lies in how you spend your time with them, or don't.
Because sometimes, you just don't feel like talking anymore and rather spend some time on learning insignificant things. Like the Pokérap. And you have the time of your life.
Hoping you will remember it.


Here, by my side
In my summer, our last summer

Sunshine

Spring is breaking through, the last snow disappears along with the dark periods of the fall. Smiles rise like sunshine and changes will be created. You watch it, you laugh at it and don't look back to the past. The summer is coming: a new period with lots of fun ahead.
Memories are to be forgotten and forgiven. In the end, all that matters is the future. The past means nothing to us.
Let us smile, welcome the sun and enjoy our lifes some more.


_{I've been listening Last Summer - Lostprophets too much and my earplugs died. I'm also way behind on.. everything xD. School, deviations, drawings.. name it.
Life's good.}




------------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23556866/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23556866/ Fri, 06 Mar 2009 13:01:46 PST Life's wonderfull <3
There ain't no use crying when life's smiling at you <3
_{There. I like this one better.}

Actually, it's not at the moment .
_{Oh god. Out with it, what is it this time? And it better be good. A caraccident. Or a planecrash. Or something other spectacular.}
Well, there has been a plane crash.. but that's not what this journal's about.
_..touché

No, this is whining first degree about love.
I used to hate it, now I just feel.. loveless.
I don't know why, probab;y because I've been single for way too long. And I'm not actually 'enjoying' my freedom. It doesn't help either that everyone around me seems to do good in love.
..
No I'm not jaleous. It's just.. Why can Lianne have two while she only needs one? Can't I borrow one? It's not like she'll miss one.
..
Or maybe I'm just being stupid.
Love will come when it's the right time. I hope.
_{You sure that time will even come?}
I hate you but I'm to tired to even comment decently.

Speaking about being tired.
I'm WAY. TOO. TIRED.
No shit, it feels like I can't even stand up without falling down. The only time I do have energy is when I had some energydrink. And it lasts for 30 minutes max.
_{Oh oh oh! I know! Maybe you've got the kissing decease 8D?}
OMG HAHAHA YOU'RE SO FUNNY! If only I could shoot you.
_{You know me. Always there to kick you down when you need it 8D}

..Yeah.
BUT my life is awesome too 8D.
Because tomorrow, I'm gonna sleep over at Sharron's: GIRLS NIIIGHT 8D.
That'll be a horrible lot of fun 8D
_{It will. IF you don't fall asleep when you just arived. Good luck with that 8D}


And and and...
No, that's was about all the whining 8D
_{Didn't you decide to make a LifeJournal for all this.. interesting information?}
I would. But then I figure I needed to check that, next to one million other sites. So I was lazy. So for now, all the whining goes here. Oh joy 8D.
_{Not really, but if it makes you feel better..
No. We still hate you 8D}

..I'm off killing myself.
No shit, when did it get so.. mean D: ?

_{I can heeeeaaaar yyyoooouuuuuuuu 8D}


Art related;
Still gotta finish 3 and a half sketch, and I got some pictures left to upload 8D.
And I'm busy making charactersheets during class, so that'll be up too.
AND There'll probably some old crap which I once needed to upload .
Oh joy.



------------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23445961/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23445961/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 06:59:34 PST Life's Wonderfull <3

It was a week, skiing in France. It wasn't that awesome, there were some things that I really will not miss. But there were good things too. Like the weather.

The sun shined, day after day. And night after night, the sky was clear. From the appartment, you could look out of your window and see countless stars, shining and laughing at the one looking up on them. That's when you realise people underestimate them. We're too busy looking for miracles on earth while the true miracles are in the sky. Shining every night, waiting for you to look at them.

And then, just when you're ready to go to bed, you see a shooting star. Falling down from the heavens, his last preformance. Make a wish.

What will I wish?

Maybe you'd wish for a great future. With a gorgeous guy by your side, always there for you to love you, spend money on you and to have a happily after ever. In a huge manson with at least 2 swimmingpools. With butlers and maids that keep the house clean so you don't have to do anything. With at least 3 dogs, 5 cats, 2 birds, 8 seaturtles, an aquarium with 58 fishes and a kangaroo.

Maybe that dork from your class'll wish to always be able to wish.

Maybe he'd wish for cars, every car that he loves. Old times, sport cars and a helicopter.

Maybe she'd wish for wings. To fly through the sky and soar all her worries away.

_{I for instance would wish for world domination by pinguins. And I'd be the ruler of all of them, making them all mine and shall rule the world with them together! Or would I wish for silence? Eternal silence everywhere. To shut the world down, lower their voice.}

I thought of what I'd wish, and I thought of wishing to be taller. To see everything from another angle of view. To be someone else. To not have people think "Damn, she's small". I'd be something I'd be happy with my whole life. Even if it was a tiny bit, just making me avarange height. It'd make a world of a difference.

But then, when I wanted to fold my hands and wish, I thought. All of these possibilities. All of these dreams. What is it worth? What if this is the only possibility to gain something you really want.

You think of that falling star. It's the last journey he'll ever make. For one thousand years he was glowing in the sky, lighting people's hearts in the dark. He's been there for so many people. He's there to gant a wish of someone. Then how can we all be so cruel to wish something for our own?

You think of the world. The world is dying. The creatures living on it are dying. And that's all because of us. Because we think for ourselfs - not for others. All these things are like the stars: they're miracles. Yet they don't last forever; they will all fall down eventually. And we're the ones that only make it worse.

I fold my hands and close my eyes and quickly decide on a wish. Which one? I won't say. Because it won't come true.
But when I opened my eyes, I knew I did something good, something I won't regret.

I looked up at the sky once more, wishing the remaining stars a good night. Wishing them a long life time in the sky. Wishing them to be a great miracle.

_{On the side note: she had a nice time. She also decided she's gonna make a LifeJournal, or something like it. Because she felt like she was writing more for herself than she was for others, and she wants to make people smile with her journals when they see them. Not making them thing: "Oh, another whine-cry journal". She won't stop telling you 'bout her life, it'll just be a little less drama. A little less journal.
That said, I'm done here. Happy Saturday!}



------------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23304358/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23304358/ Fri, 20 Feb 2009 10:50:57 PST
PREVIOUSLY ON SHASHA-CHAN'S JOUR-
_{Dude, it's a JOURNAL. Not some kind of cheesy soapserie.}
But everyone loves soaps : D!
_{No one does.}
But.. everyone loves drama : D
_{..you've got a point there.}

Uh, sorry 'bout that


As for what's happening at the moment: nothing !
It's not really boring actually, I'm pretty much amused by the people around me (:. And I'm going to France tomorrow; hurray : D. So, I'll be seeing you in a week


As for school: I found some old gradecharts : D! I couldn't find my gradechart from my first year in high school, but I still got a nice collection from the 2nd year till now .
I FORGOT I WAS SO HORRIBLE AT MATHS . No shit, I totally forgot. In the 2nd, my grades were horrible. And now they're.. acceptable . I guess my mathitisity came a little late in my school-career .
I'm also really ashamed of myself, seeing my Dutch grades drop horribly. Last year, I only had 7s and 8s, now it's barely a 6. I really wonder what made my brain crash like that.
And that's how it's been goung for 4 years: the subjects that went well are horrible the next year : D!
So with my predicting-powers, I can see I'll be a genius in Physics this year
_{BWHAHAHAHA. HAHA. Ha. That was.. hilarious. Keep on dreaming darling.}
..I guess being sublte isn't one of my strong points :C


AND I promised to tell you what made me laugh like crazy.
What excatly? I didn't know . But I laugh at EVERYTHING. So it wouldn't be hard for me to laugh at something

And the victim was.. ~Malthinae!
We were sitting together at Dutch class, 'reading' a book (:. And suddenly, the conversation went something like what song was stuck in your head at the moment, and.. I suddenly burst out laughing .
Half of the class was like: "WTF?" since there was dead silence and nothing happening at all. Even Lea was clueless about what was happening.
Later, I explained:
YOUTUBE IS GOD. A week ago, I was telling everyone I knew and everyone I didn't knew how awesome YouTube was. Because the previous evening, I had found Barbapapa somewhere. I spend 30 minutes watching episodes I could find, laughing at stupid jokes and smiling at the memories. I ran to Sanne, screaming something like:

_{"HEY! HEYHEYHEY! HEY! YOU KNOW! DID YOU KNOW! WELL. YOU KNOW! I. I. LAST NIGHT! I. FOUND! I FOUND SOMETHING. ON YOUTUBE! AND I FOUND IT! LAST NIGHT! YOU KNOW! AND IT WAS! IT WAS! BARBAPAPA! BAR-BA-PAPA! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! IT WAS AWESOME AWESOMEAWESOOOOOOOOOMME <333333333333!"}

No shit, it went like that . And a week later, my brains had an evil plot: what about Musti? Musti is something like the Dutch version of 'Hello Kitty', but than differently . And I found an episode : D!
[link] (Behold, it's Dutch.)
And I laughed like crazy AT EVERY STEP HE TOOK. Because.. I don't know. That stupid little tune playing at every step he takes. I just.. laughed . So hard my dad came up stairs to look what's wrong.
And that same littl... ]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23232024/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23232024/ Mon, 16 Feb 2009 09:50:09 PST
Overdramatic friendshipspeech

I learned a wonderfull lesson today. About me.
I cannot change me, even though I tried.
I decided I wouldn't let any people get in, nor let anyone else out. I wanted to be cold as ice, to let people be in the dark about me so that they couldn't hurt me anymore. And I tried, I did. But then I figured that if I'm not being honest to others, why would I expect them to be honest with me? Keeping secrets to others breaks trust. They'll keep secrets from you and things'll get worse. You'll lose sight of each other, you'll forget each other. And you end up alone.
And that's the one true thing I'm afraid of: Being alone.

I decided to always smile. Smile at everyone so they'd think it's fine. I'm alright. They wouldn't have to worry about me: I ain't got no troubles, while the opposite was true. I hated myself these past days. I didn't cry, but how many times I wanted to punch the walls, just to see my hands bleed, or to smash my head agains a wall to smash all my mistakes and bloopers out. But I smiled. Like I always do. I'm ugly when I frown, more ugly at least. Yes, I still have some hate towards myself, but I've had that for my whole life. Sometimes I despised myself, sometimes you couldn't see anywhere. But the last few days were.. horrible and extreem. But I smiled. Like I always do.
But today I figured I don't fake smiles anymore, I just don't. There are people who've got so much more on their heads, expecially Siobhan.
I don't have the right to be sad, or angry at myself. Life goes on, and it's the best while you smile. I can't be optimistic towards others while I don't mean it, that'd be hypocritic. I want to be there for everyone who's in trouble. For everyone that hasn't got anything to stand on. To lean on. I want to help them. If they let me.
And now that I've realised I'm fine. That I'm not pretending anymore, I hope I really can.
That's where my true happiness lies.

I've always told me I'm not made to love
I've always told me I'm not the type of girl made for a broken heart.
Both are true.
Love doesn't last long.
Broken hearts too.
Exept for friendship.
They do last long. Sometimes they even last forever. I hope it will.

Valentine's Day is about love.
Love for your lover, love for your friends, love for your parents and love for the world.
_{And about the economy, which is killing the world. So actually, Valentine's Day is part of killing the world. The irony.}
Happy Valentine's Day to you too.

All this emo-crap left me some great things:
- A life-lesson that'll don't forget _{Well.. don't forget soon.}
- I'm not saying 'sorry' as much as I did. No shit, I used to say sorry IN EVERY FUCKING SENTENCE I SAID. Now I don't as much. Gladly
- 2 friends to be added to my list: Me and my music.
Even though they don't mean the world to me like others, they're still great in their own way.
I hope we can be friends for long, I really do.

Lively updates

As for Valentine's Day; it was quite cool (:. I gave sugar hearts to.. many people . And some 'special' friends recieved somethine more (:
For instance, I gave a LOT of food to Hoi Lam (I still owe her an engergydrink, since I bought her two originally, but then I got thirsty and drunk one myself Stupid me, I know )
I also gave ~Malthinae wannaBpocky : D. And she was like: "OMGWHEREDIDYOUBOUGHTTHISOMGOMGOMGIWANTTHEMTHANKYOUI'MSOHAPPYLOLTHAAAANKYOU!!!1!". Well, maybe that's a little exaggerated, but it went something like it
And I gave Siobhan a HUGE bathing duck. And I mean HUGE. You should have seen her face, it was priceless And since it barely fit in her locker, she had to walk with it for a while until she got so many comments like: "OMG a duck, how cool! Who gave it : D?" "Marsha did ". She had to re-arange all of her stuff just to make it fit. Oops .
I gave Sander a little keyring, w... ]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23116759/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23116759/ Tue, 10 Feb 2009 08:09:54 PST
. Pause . Rewind . Play .

The world didn't die, yay : D.
I guess that prediction was the end of my short predicting-career .
Ah well. Things don't always go as planned .

Update.. update.. No. Nothing to tell, nothing to say.
Whauw, you'd almost say life my is boring at the moment .

The schoolparty I told you 'bout was great : D. We had some kind of pre-party with lots of friends, and it was damn fun . We had pizza, dressed up, danced weird in a small room and took lots of random pictures : D. The party itsself was awesome too : D. A friend of mine was DAMN drunk, but I mean.. REALLY drunk . I really loved her that way, I can still laugh at all the things she's done . Another one danced the whole night with this guy, they had waaaaay toop much fun for the fact they were both occupied . But hey, you don't see me complaining . Others peoples adventures, thoughts and misery are way more interesting

Though most of the evening was great, some other people had less of a great time. A great friend had to left early, which wasn't that great, but she told me she had a great time with us, even though it was quite short. And another awesome friend cried. Hard. The most frustrating thing is that I don't even really know why. She told me she didn't want to go out as much anymore, since she often ends up in tears. But even though she cried, she had an awesome time with us, she really did. Which is good, right (: ?

I gotta use NAMES. Instead of saying just friend. It's less confusing. But I think in this journal.. people prefer to be just called 'friend'

So, uuh, that's 'bout it .

_{Uh, hey, what 'bout me? Don't I get to make you feel bad or unleash my sarcastic puns on you?}

..Wait a minute...
SHORT JOURNAL, OMG!
Whauw, as far as I can remember, I've only written LONG journals . Ah well, change ain't a bad thing (:
Edit; ...But I still manage to overuse the emoticon ,
Oh, and I'm probably going to be waaay less journal-active, so uuh,..
Happy valentines day <3!




------------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23018224/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/23018224/ Thu, 05 Feb 2009 10:39:22 PST
. Pause . Rewind . Record .

No shit it is My moodsqing-period seems to have died down, since I laugh like crazy and everything seems to be going alright .
I guess it's true what I said; The harder you laugh, the harder you cry and backwards.
But at the moment, I think the period of crying will be somewhere waaaaay in the future (:.

Upgrading, downgrading. No matter what we might say of ourselfs, you'll always be the person you love to be in your heart. You cannot hide that fact.
I cannot disregard emotions like that, thus I keep smiling.
_{Smiling is your god-given tallent.
That, and screaming. DAMN are you deaf or something? You sream like hell!}
So what. I scream if I want to :3. SCREAMING IS FUCKING AWWWWWESOMMMMEE : D

So. I got some more grades back. I seriously thought I screw'd up everything. But after all, they came out decently :3. I got a 7,8 for art-class while I didn't even study
_{You didn't even know WHAT to study.}
Same thing. But I fooled my test and pretended to be smart, and he fell for it . So, that's good.
I also got an 4,2 for maths . But I was half-sick that day.
_{You weren't, that's impossible. Even if you had AIDS, cancer and whoelseknowsewhat you'd have, you'd still be at school.}
But I really was . So yeah, that's my excuse .
A chemistry-test will be coming soon, and I WILL STUDY LIKE CRAZY. No shit, I want an 8, it's possible :3. Sooo. It'll be less drawing.

As for the sketches. I've thought about ideas, and I've already finished one, next ones will come soon, I hope. I don't like to make people wait
_{You're ALWAYS late at EVERYTHING. You ALWAYS make people wait.}
Ican'theeeeeeeaaaaryou : D.

AND there are two.. No, three more awesome things happening in my life : D.
First of all; I do love my friends. ALL of them. Some might have problems, while others are doing fine. And I'm going to be there for every single one of them when they need me. That's what friends are for. I also seem to feel more happy when more of them are feeling like shit.
_{Sadist. That's just.. No shit what?}
I don;t know, but it is . But it makes them laugh too for all my stupid actions, so in some way, it's good .
Second; SCHOOL PARTY'S COMING UP <3! There's this theme: "You'll never see me again LIKE THIS." I'm going as a rapchickwhore. I've got some weird outfit, and yeah. Even though the beer is going to be horrible and there isn't much other to drink, things'll be awesome :3.
And last; THEY FIX'D THE FUCKING CHEESECHUNKS : D <3333333!
_{What the hell?}
Yes people, cheesechunks. Some kind of weird swings near the Aldi which made me skip like crazy a year ago. Some of my friends kill'd it while being.. yeah and they've been down for almost half a year D:. It was a horrible time with lots of grief and melancholic memories. BUT they fix'd them again, and now..
..yeah, in summer I'll probably go back to skipping school like fuck . But it's gonna be worth it, since I've had the most awesome time there and it'll be another great summer <3.

I thought there was something more to mention, but I forgot.
Probably that I love music like fuck.

I've enjoyed my show, and I still do.
I'm serious, life is full of suprises.

I'm going to paint my belt some more. I went 'shopping' with some friends today and I bought some crazy sunglasses, bubblesoap and a Hannah Montannah belt . And I actually liked the belt, and for only 2 euro's, I boyght it. But somewhere on the belt, you could see her ugly head, so I decided to paint it wit... ]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22978740/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22978740/ Tue, 03 Feb 2009 07:22:35 PST Breakup, breakdown.
Logic never fails.

I promise this'll be my last emo-journal, I really do. I should be laughing more, since it's really good.
Laughing.
It makes you want to smile.

But at the moment, I've got all the reasons to be emo.

I lost a friend very dear to me.
_{You didn't, you both agreed you'll continiue on from where things were still fine}
That's what he says, but things still feel otherwise. He avoided my looks today, and so did she. He somewhat crushed me in the worst way possible. And I mean the worst way possible. I wanted to scream, and I did today.
_{Someone heard you scream on the toilet while she was two stages up.}


Also, I betrayed many friends dear to me.
_{You couldn't do much else.}
No I could. I lied to everyone, no one knew the whole truth, and they still don't. Probably. My best friends, which I know for 10 years now, are still in the dark about what the fuck is actually happening. Other friends were too, and just because someone was being spontanious while I wasn't there everything she knew came out. And it was a lot. Now everyone I know and loves loved me somewhat knew.


I betrayed the person I helped breaking.
_{You stabbed her in the back, you whiped her tears while you made her cry. You did your best to protect her, while when she wasn't looking, you jsut made things worse}
She wanted to punch me in the face, they told. I deserve it, I really
do. But really, when someone punches me right now, I'll break them, screw then up, tear them apart and do everything in my power to fuck them up as much as I can.
_{With your strength, that's not much.}
People say otherwise, but I don't believe it.
Point being, I'm a frustrated whore at the moment. And everything that is going on at the moment, is going wrong. Terribly wrong.


I lost many of my friends. Not today, but way back.
Friends I loved
Friends I cared about.
Friends that weren't close to be, but still were
Friends that had a special meaning
Friends in all sizes and ways.
And it's all my fault.

I decided I should just quit. Quit on having friends. Lock myself out from everything possible, since the friends I had didn't care anyway. They'll wait and strike. Strike when it's the worst time. Fuck me up so hard all I can do is cry. Leaving me alone, unable to tell anyone they just left me after all those years and happy moments. Leaving me and my emotions, only to cry them out when no one is listening.

I decided music shall be my best friend.
I decided I will be my best friend.
Because music doesn't listen to you, but only speaks your emotions at your command. They speak when spoken to, they are silent when you want it.
Because I know everything about me, yet I know nothing. It's someone very close to me, someone who can't leave me, or stab my back. Someone I can really trust...
...But I can't.


_{It's because you're soft. You can't live for yourselfs, only for others. You laugh to make people laugh, you act to make people happy. You don't have any other desire than to help people, than to be happy for other people. If everyone in your world would ask you to die because they wanted to, you would. Knifes or pain aren't the things you fear, not at all. You just like to fear them, You could control them if you want. They're nothing but mere tools. But people aren't controlable, people do what they want, even if that means leaving you alone.
You fear to be alone.
You can't be alone
Even if you tried your hardest.}

And that's why I love me. Even though I'm a bitch who drags me down at every way possible, even though I'm harsh, a perfectionist, a sadist and a total whore, she knows it all.

It's snowing outside. The most beautifull snow I've ever seen. Cold, ice cold. The way I like it the most .

------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22960967/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22960967/ Mon, 02 Feb 2009 09:54:34 PST They didn't, they only got worse.

_{You cried again, stupid whore. Can't you even control your fucking emotions? Worthless piece of crap.}
I know I am, en het kan me geen ruk schelen.

My grades are.. good. Until now
I'VE GOT A FUCKING 8 FOR PHYSICS
No shit, that's fucking.. good. I really fail at that subject. I also got a 6,5 for Biology. Not bad, not great either. And a 6,4 for English speech, which is horrible .
No shit, last year I had a 7.8 .
So what the fuck did I do?
I was sick, and didn't prepare a shit. If it weren;t for those, my grade would be fine.

_{You, miss, are a horrible lot of fail.}
I know. I cannot deny. En het kan me geen ruk schelen.

Drinking. I like it. A little too much.
This Friday will be full with beer too.
Nice. More drunk tears.


Did someone kill your heart once?
Probably not.
It's not fun, not at all.


Maybe it's better to not have a heart at all.
I might try it one day.
Want het kan me toch geen ruk schelen.

_{At the moment, you can't smile at all, right?}
No shit.


Someone hit me with a fucking club. My stomach won't stop hurting.

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22835434/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22835434/ Tue, 27 Jan 2009 06:54:39 PST dA hates me for having long journal titles.
"Singing with knives, cigarettes & unheard confessions"
Ah well, we've got greater worries, don't we (: ?


Knives
They're one of the things I'm afraid of.
_{Dumb whore, it's just a knife.}.
I know, but still. In combination with wrists, they're even more scary. Probably because without the right control, they can end everything so fast.
Goodbye to your friends, family and your beautifull life. Everything. Fading to red.
_{Seriously, you ass. You can slice your bread with it, why not your wrists?}
Why would I even want to be near a knife?

Cigarettes
They're one of the things I hate the most. Since a while. They destroy everything, make you addicted to the worse and you'll become a total junk if you can't have enough.
_{Then why don't you hate joints?}
Maybe because they're.. not to be smoked as much as cigarettes.
I can't believe people are willing to stand in the cold, drowning in the rain with cancer in a stick. Smoking while it hurts.
_{Maybe you should smoke cigarettes. You'll stand in the cold together, drown together and die together.}
I tried. I really did. For him. To not hate it as much. But I can't, it's just.. not in my nature. I just ended up looking away if I even see one.
_{You're sooooo exagerating.}
I know I am.

Unheard confessions
I haven't told him he's the reason for the facts I considered knifes. I haven't told him he's the reason I even tried to smoke a sigater. Him. No other reason I would.
_{Why don't you just tell him the truth? He won't bite.}
I've caused him all kinds of troubles, all kinds of things he wouldn't be in if it weren't for me. So why can't I just put myself down for a minute and look at him. What he wants. Because the world isn't about me.
It's about him


_{So, what is the song of your heart playing?}
My heart beats in silence. Hearing the same songs all over in my head. They differ so much, yet they've got so much in common
Hey there Delilah. The song he sang.
Shut me up. The song I shouldn't.
Less than three. The song I feel.
What will his heart sing?

And now, after all this thinking, dreaming, I've got to leave for school.
Not today knife, I'll see you some other time.



EDIT! I decided not to put up a journal fast, sooo I'm just gonna edit this one .
The point is: I really wanted a skets from *Nashimus, because she's awesome . But now I've got to post it too T^T. Ah well. Maybe you can come up with some crack ideas which I'll like . Just.. don't expect too much from it .

THE FIRST FIVE PEOPLE WHO RESPOND TO THIS JOURNAL GETS A FREE SKETCH FROM ME!
_{(If you want. It's not like responding is getting. You may refuse )}
.........
THE CATCH: you must post this in your journal as well!! D: So respond only if you're really gonna do it. 8D

1. ~Neills, with the human-version of RAGE (My magicarp/Gyarados ) under the ground .
2. =Amnetic, which made me decide something :C.
3. ~Itihlewn, and her OC(s) Luna and/or Itihlewn
4. ~Lisetteke, which made me decide something.. too D:
5. ~Neviril, herself in a panda-version (How toootally unexpected )

---------
Into the challenge -> http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22805052/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 14:09:27 PST With great power comes great responsibility.
That was what spiderdude said at the end.
Yes, I was bored, so i actually watched Spiderman.
I realised how much I actually love superheroes .
COME ON, THEY'RE FUCKING AWESOME!
They can shoot web and look through walls, what's not to like ?

Fate.
Apperantly, it's quite important in life. It decides much, you cannot imagine. Just when you think the choice is all yours to make, FATE juuuust barks in and decides for you, wheter you like it or not.
Right after Spiderman.
Could a hero save you from fate? Or does he just save people because it's their fate not to die yet?

Maybe if you're a hero, your job is you protect people from fate. But wasn't God the one having fate in his hands? Are you God if you are a superhero?

Yahr harr fiddle dee dee
Bein' a pirate is alright to me
Do what you want 'cause a pirate lives free
Yoooouh are a pirate

Pirates aren't superheroes. But they're awesome too, rite : D?

Eatme,Scarlet
It's quite a cool name, really. It's stuck in my head.
Just like "Hey there Delilah", I can even play it on the fucking piano now
_{You can't, you just pretend you can.}
Oh damn, that slut's back again too. Must be fate.
_{Damn straight}

Apperantly, there's a church in America to hail Spongbob. No shit, there is. I forgot who told me, but it was something about that America is a democracy blabla and that you're free to make a church about whatever you want. I've heard about the flying spaghettymonster (I quit being an atïst, ALL HAIL THE FUCKING FLYING SPAGHETTYMONSTER!), but Spongebob was news to me.
_{Weren't you drunk when you heard the story?}
I WASN'T FUCKING DRUNK D:
_{You were.}
...M'kay, maybe a little. But I swear she told me! And it was fate.
Fate that I was drunk. Fate I screw'd up everything.

...And maybe it's fate that everything I ruined, will be fix'd again. In the worst way, or the best. We can only wait to see.

That, or spiderman will save me

The bass, the rock
The mic, the treble
I like my coffee black
Just like my 'metal'

It's official, I'm agressive. You don't really see it, but with some beer...
_{You punched someone in the stomache, hit someone in the face because he called you 'shorty', hit someone in the face while you didn't even know why and threw beer in someones face for the lamest reason ever. Suuuuure you're not agressive.}
..Someone remind me to hit MYSELF some more when I've had beer
But rethinking that night made me think of something else:
I need to stop trying to chance myself. And I was willing to do that, but than I thought about hitting people. It's not good for people. And for your knuckles. So the last thing I need to stop doing, is punching people.
_{You can hit your pillow instead y'know : D?}
...Myself outcluded.
World; here's a new me. Someone who's less perfectionistic at points where you shouldn't be a perfectionist.
_{And maybe start being a perfectionist at points where you should.}

And what did we learn from this journal?
THAT'S RIGHT, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING : D!
But I'm bored as fuck. That's why.

Did you know everything'll be alright? You know why: I'm smiling. As long as I can smile, I'm perfectly fine. But you should only worried when it's impossible for me to smile again.

Hearts are the most fucking hatefull things in the world.
Yet we love them
<3

Into the challenge -> [link]
My scraps are crack, you might like 'm -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22774665/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22774665/ Sat, 24 Jan 2009 05:04:11 PST Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
You're a thousend miles away
but girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do.

Life couldn't be worse :D!
But the good thing is that I haven't lost my ability to smile, so I guess things'll be alright in the end C:.

My stomache is rumbeling. I screwed up my future and throw beer in the face of a very dear friend. And hit people. All because of beer. Yes, the beer.
And tears. Lots of them. Even in front of people. I'm one weak whore. A hormonal fuck'd up whore. Or something.
And that one. The onces I screwed up, even without throwing beer at them or hit them in the face.

This night everything fell in it's place: I'm a hypocritic bitch with an overreacting guiltcomplex.
But I'll learn to live with it, and I will.
Because even though I fell deep, I'll always smile. That's what I've been doing for 17 years, and I'll do it forever if it'll make people happy.
Because right now, I don't give a fucking shit about me. But the fucking world for everything and everyone I've hurt.

Ijustdon'tknowwhattothink, Ijustdon'tknowhowtoact. Ijustdon'tknowitanymore

And that's the end of the emo-ness.
The good thing is..
..
I didn't use ANY xD's?

Oh, right! My prinplup or something just evolved in a.. kingprlup? Anyway, it evolved! Happyhappyjoy.

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Forget Lostprophets, I'll listen this song for the whole fucking day, week, year or even more.
To show that I care



_{I'll stop making lame journals, this is like.. the 3th journal in 3 days.
And IF I desperatelly need to make one, I'll stop giving it lame titles that don't make scence.}

Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22735641/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22735641/ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 14:01:27 PST BEHOLD FOT THE MOST RANDOM QUIZ EVER .

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
There's not a book within my range, so I'm going to provide you with some CHINESE KNOWLEGDE : D!
Yes people, I've got chinese knowlegde in pocket-size : D
Translated in English with lots of hard words And philosophy : D!
Anyway, this is what it says:
"Only he who can it with love is worthy of being the steward of the world"
Yeeeah, that's deep .

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you reach?
My keyboard, a zebra-magnet, a mirror, a little make-up-bag, scissors, a not-working webcam, a speaker, some more random crap and glue

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
GTST (Which is like ATWT in America, only crappier and.. yeah I made my lil' bro addicted, and now he has to drag me to watch it, instead of the other way round ) and the first 5 minutes of LIFE.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
21.34?

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
I hate clocks and I'm a bad guesser It's fucking 22:18

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Youtube - The man who can't be moved (Which just finished) and.. my DS is open at pokémon Diamond. I'm at route 218, just standing there I like the music, so it's on full volume. In the 'night' it plays in majeur or something, which makes it slightly more awesome <3.
To Neills: I did say hi from you to RAGE, he didn't respond much though. But secretly, he loves you

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I stepped outside my room I think, to call my mom or to shoo my lil' bro. Either one of them or both .

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
uuh, my MSN conversations, my DS, some crappy IQ test which told me I've got VWO brains : D (It's not that stupid then, I DO have VWO brains. I just lack concentration & motivation, and I hate myself for it.)

9. What are you wearing?
Second time I'm answering this one today . I'm wearing baggy jeans, a purple t-shirt with a pink scarf over it. I made a paper doll about me in the same clothes once, I'm still hanging somewhere Maybe I'll post a picture of it once.

10. Did you dream last night?
I wouldn't remembe- OH WHAIT! I woke up at 3:01 AM, only to puke at 3:17 AM and brush my teeth at 3:44 AM Than I dreamed I reset my alarm, which caused me to eb late at the former neighbours' house to go babysitting. And I dreamed I couldn't make my math-test, which would have been a good thing

11. When did you last laugh?
This afternoon, a lot of times. Because a good thing about me: I can be as moody as fuck, but AFTER that, I laugh until my stomache hurts (Hurts MORE in my case, since I'm still quite sick of the puking ) And it was probably because of Lea, Sander, Jochem, Casper or some other dorks I may call friends <3

12. What are on the walls of the room you are in?
A picture of flowers in different.. things. A crappy drawing, a magnetic board, anot... ]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22713369/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22713369/ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 13:01:59 PST _{..No, it's not.}
M'kay, it's not Maybe a little, but still C:.

_{Borken hearts and torn up letters
Girl you just can't dance forever
If you want to make it better
Times like these won't last forever~}

At the moment, I'm screwing up my testing week ! I should be learing math right now, but my concentration is.. lacking
_{And you want to go to VWO? HA! What a laugh.}
I know, stop it.
I'd love to go find a store somewhere where they'd sell concentration and motivation.
_{While you're at it, buy some brains too, they're good y'know}
I know, shuddap.

"You're probably exaggerating, you're tests are goin' to be just fine."
Is that what you're thinking? Think again .
I've had Physics, which is a miracle if it's above the 6. So I'm not expecting any different.

Drawing-class was bein' a jerk, because they're giving tests for it. While we have a FUCKING SEPERATE SUBJECT FOR THAT >xC. And I didn't even know what to study untill one hour before the test started. I'll be a 5.7 at max.

Dutch is the only subject which I'm expecting a good grade, simply because we had to write an 'arguing'. And the only thing wrong with that is that I probably wrote "seks" like "sex" almost everytime, and I forgot to check (youdon'twannaknowthesubject, really ) I'll be something 'round a 7,1. (.. ,1? Yes. I dislike all-round numbers )

Biology was fucking.. just horrible. I screw'd up really bad, it'll be something between the 4,6 and the 6,1 (Well that's a wide-ranged guess. Yes it is, deal with it.)

And than English. I know what you're thinking "With you're peeeerfekt Engrish, you kan't possiblie fial tat rite : D?" Yes I can . Since I had to read 3 fucking books, and I only read 2 . Therefore, my grade'll be something like a 7.2 (Yes ladies and gentleman, that is HORRIBLE. _{Stop being a perfectionist, it doesn't suit you.} Than GTFO.)

..That was about it. Tomorrow is my last day: Maths (which isn't hard at all, I just gotta focus on it, which I don't .) and English speech (The rehearsal with :devmaltinae: went pretty well, we hadn't prepared anything, and we still talked 10 minutes. The conversation itself began with the internet, and ended with Barbies of pedophiles. And the scariest thing was that our teacher liked it So that won't be much of a problem.)

But the good thing about this is, that If I'm 50 years old, screw'd up my career and am living because the government keeps me alive, I can still say: "When I was a young girl, I screw'd up all my tests. BUT I DID RAISE A MAGICARP NAMED 'RAGE' UNTILL IT EVOLVED : DD" And my children will love the story. Because even though I don't look like it, I know the concequeces (stupid word), and all my actions now will affect my future. But still: can't concentrate .

Another good thing is that there are a quite a few 'social activities' sceduled : D (You're supposed to be a geek in CLASS... _{Not in your spare time.}), which will be awesome
And I found my wallet : D (Yes, it was lost )
And I've got some more crappy drawings to upload : D(STOP BEING A DAMN PERFECTIONIST.)
All my reports have been finished (some just in time, some a tad late http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22517498/ Sun, 11 Jan 2009 02:38:19 PST
Because I don't feel as emo as I did (:.
I guess love comes in all sort of ways and mine's just a little.. excentrique bad English lol.
Anyway; things'll be alright, just as they'll always be (:.

Now for the copy-paste

I miss my -addiction, LIFE NEEDS MORE 'S .

SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW <3333333
Well, not exactly snow, but ICE, lots of ice <333
It going to melt down soon, but I loved the fucking time I had on it :3

About school and everything I need to do with it: It's a fucking failure I couldn't care less at the moment, I'll realise my huge msitake when it's too late y'know . But school-worries/stress should lessen Thuesday, because THAT FUCKING #$%#$^@ PWS THING WILL FINALLY BE FINISHED : D! It's a relief, really

Also, since my life is oh so intresting boring at the moment, I stole some quiz-thing from *Nashimus, and I had.. a silly idea . Anyway; enjoy the.. quizthing

Name 12 of your original characters:
(I decided to do this with some IRL friends which I love a lot, I filled
then in in a ramdom order, and.. I'll see what'll happen . Why I'm in this list
too? Because I wouldn't want to miss the fun, that's why )

I. Hoi Lam
II. Yara
III. Lea
IV. Kira
V. Lianne
VI. Sander
VII. Marissa
VIII. Sharron
IX. Nick
X. Sanne
XI. Marsha (Dude, I'm a fucking OC myself xD)
XII. Siobhan


I. I (Hoi Lam), VI (Sander), and XI (Marsha) are all told to wait in a room together until someone comes in to get them. Let's say no one does. Who would leave the room first?
Uuuh, hard question I CAN be patient if I'm in the room with.. the right things . I think Hoi Lam would be the first to leave because she'll be driven crazy by me and Sander (Me and.. all my friends drive her crazy all the time with our scary humor/thoughts )

II. If II (Yara) had to do one nice thing for VIII (Sharron), what would it be?
Another hard question . I think they'd have a nice conversation, make her laugh about silly things and.. yeah, just make her smile . That's the only thing I can think of

III. If IV (Kira) and VII (Marissa) co-starred in a movie, what genre would it most likely fall under?
OH GAWD . Kira's a gothic, Marissa just.. Marissa . But I think it'll probably some kind of straaange comedy about vampires, werewolves with some crazy irrelevant action inbetween . Whatever movie it is... ]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22506261/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22506261/ Sat, 10 Jan 2009 12:56:55 PST
Would you like to have a brainshake, it's our speciality?

WARNING: This journal might contain emo-stuf, random Dutch words and.. yeah. So you don't wanna read this because it's full of selfpitycrap. This is probably more to. Y'know what, just ignore it.

_{I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself}

I destroyed someones happiness just because I cannot even control my own fucking hormones. I'M A GROSS SLUT. I've never been as broken as I am now. I'M A TOTAL WHORE. Ik verdien het gewoon niet, I don't fucking deserve it because I'm a slut. A SLUT I TELL YOU.

My head keeps draging me down into all this negativity, I'm insecure, unpredictable, agressive (even more than I normally am, that is). It feels like I'm driving myself insane, I want to hit something, bump my head agains the wall and the only thing keeping me from it is the fact people are watching. Because of. Yeas. And when I talked about it, just to certain my feelings, I ended up acertaining them.

He told me he didn't really love her, he really did. Or didn't he? I'm not insane, am I? I cried over the fact he might be happy with her for all eternity, now I'm crying over the fact that I might have destroyed their happiness. What was I thinking? He didn't snapte the first two attempts, he didn't want to get them. He was uncertain too, and I made it worse. And she might suffer from this too BECAUSE I COULDN'T CONTROL MY FUCKING HORMONES. That's the worst crime someone can attempt. Betrayal, unfaithful, a bitch in an uniform. Not even in an uniform.

And now I broke him, even though I love him the most. The thing I was most afraid of happened: losing him.
You can't lose what you don't have.
I know.

He deserves her. He really does. She's perfect at everything I'm not. I cannot be a girlfriend, even though I'd try my hardest for him. It's against my nature, you probably can't change that.
You know you might if you try
Trying is against my nature
You're a dissapointment.
I know I am.

And now I broke him, that's the last thing I wanted. Ik ben een hoer. Een fucking hoer. Ik haat mezelf. En nu doe ik emo. Wat heb je daar nou aan, lost het iets op? HET LOST NIETS OP, DOE NIET ZO FUCKING DEPRESIEF KLOTESLET.
Maar, I just feel that way right now
THAN UN-FEEL IT.

Okay sorry nevermind.
I'll just smile like I always do.
Because a smile on your face is a smile on mine

A year ago I thought I'd never ever have a broken heart, because I can't love, and people can't love me.
Now I realise I've always had a broken heart, because I can't love people, and people can't love me.
I thought my friends were my most prizeless possesion I'd ever have.
Now I realize I've been treating them like I wouldn't ever want them in the first place.

I do not make mistakes, I am a mistake.
And the biggest mistake is going to be that I'm going to press the 'send' button and annoy you with my emo-journal.

I don't want you to read this, but I want you.


Ik haat mijn hoofd.
Ik verklaar mezelf gestoord.

Ik noem geen namen, en dat doet degene die dit leest/comment/denkt/ademt OOK niet. Dankje.
I'm not writin' down any names, and SO is the one who's reading/commenting/thinking/breathing this. Thanks.

TLDR; I'm just confused about everthing and everyone, and it's.. nothing personal. I just need to get used to love someone. That's what I'm saying.. now.
Really, loving something is hard.

I've edit this journal over 9000 times. No shit.

-----------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22237540/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22237540/ Sun, 28 Dec 2008 05:23:55 PST .
I spend Christmas in France, and I forgot to mention it here, sorry 'bout that .

So:
Happy belated Christmas
And a happy new year <3

I've got 17 Journals and 68 Deviations to run through, so don't be offended if I ignore it, it's because I've got more things to do (Like school.. I still didn't finish everything D:. Good part is I read my English book during vacation, so that's one thing less to worry :3).

My vacation was.. great I guess :3.
Lots of snow, and sun .
I ate a lot, got my appetite back at least (Yes, it was gone, and it was horrible )
I thought a lot about.. things. Yeah, things :3. Lots of things. _{Mostly concerning one thing. But still, things .}
A brand mew Wii for my little brother, but.. yeah. I'm gonna steal it too
Which means I gotta buy Guitar Hero (Watch out world, soon I'll be playing on HARD :evil: )

So. I'm going back to.. 'work'. Microsoft Word had been open for 2 hours and still only the title . It's the thought that counts, right ?


I love you all

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22015738/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/22015738/ Tue, 16 Dec 2008 13:22:56 PST "You are gonna catch me, right?"
"Just trust me."

I saw her letting herself fall, but she was scared. She made a stupid movement and fell to the ground.

"I told you to trust me!
Here, do you wanna try?"

I stepped forward, turned around and let myself fall down. He gently caught me.

"See, it's not that hard!" She said to her. He lifted me up, I felt my heart beating faster. Not because of fear, something far worse.

The girl who just fell walked towards him and huged him, kissed him. My heart stopped.



It was late when I spoke to him on the phone. We were laughing, talking nosensce when I suddenly said what was on my mind for so long.

"I think I love you <3"

I immediatelly ran way to my bed, walked in circels for a while just because my head was such a mess. The phone rang.

"Just to make things clear: I love you too."

Silence.

"Are you there?"
"Running in circels, but yes."
"Great."

Another silence.

"You know what?" I suddenly spoke.
"Tell me."

"I think you finally caught me."


That's not how things actually happend, but still.
I can finally love him <3.

------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/21929228/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/21929228/ Mon, 15 Dec 2008 08:44:48 PST Current state of things; CRAP.
I finished my English speach and it went.. well.. let's say it was one our teacher will never forget, we all barely managed to stay seated .
Our art-class-presentation sucked, but shit happens .

As for what I still have to do, I still need to work hard. My PWs will NEVER be finished in time, but I've got a plan for that *evilsmile* so that things will turn out fine in the end :3.

Even though thing may seem bad, I'm not stressing ö. Well.. not about school at least . It's the fucking busiest week of my fucking life and I can't even control my fucking hormones .__.
Guess love comes at times you really don't want it .__. But I'll tell more about that when things are more.. stable

AND! I really wanna thank all you guys that gave me some courage, I really appericiate it <3.

[End update :3.]

That's it, I'm dead .__.
Nice to know you, please know I loved you all...

Okay, that might be a little too exagerated, but still.. I'm screw'd.
Why?
You probably don't even wanna know, but I'm gonna tell anyway .

School. TOO MUCH SCHOOL! But.. I mean WAY TOO MUCH SCHOOL. Really. I need to make:
- A PWs (a.k.a. "Profile-workpiece"). It's basically a documentation about a subjet you choose, and it's fucking HUGE. And guess what? I should have finished it next wensday, and I only got the introduction-part and the index. And that's about it . And if I don;t finish it in time, I'm not allowed to do exam.
- A presentation for drawing-class, to finish tomorrow, and I barely know the subject D:
- A pre-speechtest for English for tomorrow, and I barely know the subject
- Some other things for Physics and Gymnastics and CKV and and GAWD I'M GONNA DIIIEE.
And all of this happens because I keep delaying things.

Then why aren;t you working now, whore?
I'm scared, okay D: ?

Nice, a conversation with yourself. I'm fucking sorry, but apperantly, it's not normal to have voices in your head. Next in line is probably seeing trolls and fairies..
Now I'm officially weird.

And to make things more weird: I think I'm in love. And it's annoying as hell. It just makes me like whaa emo whaa insecure whaa I don't fucking know it D:.

Life's had. BUT I'LL SURVIVE <3.
Sorry for the emo-entry, I'll make sure the next one will me more happy-happy-joy-joy :'D.

I'll still continiue to smile, even though my life is a giantic chaos <3.

------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/21645912/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/21645912/ Mon, 24 Nov 2008 11:17:45 PST
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Love knows no religion, race, age, or physical disability...so why is gender any different?

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong.



Don't expect much of these ones. This one just really touched me.
But that's probably because I'm in a crybaby-mood right now.

I cried over a fucking piece of cheese. TWICE.


I'm an emo-kid
non-conforming as can be



------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/21382391/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/21382391/ Fri, 21 Nov 2008 12:52:14 PST D.

[edit]

I'm gonna write about my b'day here, since it was an awful lot of fun ! I turned 17 on the 19th of November, and even though I'm not gonna celebrate it for my friends, they still made it into something I'll never forget <3.

So, I went to school. Nothing special. But I already heard some of my friends were planning something for me during the first break. I was even send home the 2nd period so they could arange a few things . I got back to school, the bell rung and I slooowly (and dramatically ) walked to our usual spot. There were already 3 people, blowing up balloons, writing on them and STORMING towards me and.. choking me (I got a skullcandy from my parents that was currently hanging around my neck, so it.. kinda sqwuized me )

In the end, an awful lot of friends came to me to hug/choke me, give me presents, sing for me, and congratulate me. They bought apple pie (<3!) and some decoration (or whatever) to decorate me with . In the end, I got some awesome (and lame ) presents and came late in class because we had to clean everything up and to wind the balloons together. The teacher didn't really mind, since we gave him a piece of pie .

And the whole day I got congratulated, and laughed at since I was walking through the school as a Wannabee-christmastree . And I loves it. Srsly, you can only do that once a year .
As for my presents: I got a pencil, 2 pokeballs (One with a munchlex, one with a Piplup and they're cute ), a green ball which is REALLY COOl and bounces and is fluffy and wheee My brother molested it.. THE ASSHOLE D:, Candy My brother ate it. I'M GONNA RUIN HIS FUCKING PRESENTS TOO., some weird Hello-Kitty bag , more candy (which my brother will eat soon ¬¬ ), chocolate , keyrings AND balloons (with weird phrases, and sweet phrases. I kept them too <3) and some more (:

It's mostly useless or weird, but I still love it <3.

I ALSO GOT A KEYBOARD <3! Which.. my brother is currently using. Srsly, he uses it more than I do. AND IT'S RUINING MY FUCKING EARS ;~;.

It comes down to the fact I had a super-awesome birthday, and I really love my friends who arranged all of this just for me... I really felt moved by all the sweet things they did for me <3. It's a miracle I didn't cried .

[/edit]

I. HATE. NOVEMBER. Really.
Usually I like it, but now it's just.. AH D:. Probably because of these reasons;

I feel terible somehow ö. I guess even I can have my emo-moods. Or it's because of my period . But I'll manage

NaNoWriMo. Nanowhat? NaNoWriMo; National Novel Writing Month. Basically I've... ]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/21016013/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/21016013/ Fri, 17 Oct 2008 12:37:13 PDT [edit]

I raged, nevermind it.
Gwd, I gotta think before I actually write.

[/edit]


OKAY, I WANT YOUR HELP!

I love to draw, I really do. But, I'm not quite satisfied with what I draw So, I need your help.

I want you to look up some strange poses, weird angles and awesome expressions and post them here
If you want something to be added, just ask and I'll try to do it.

If you think about it, it's somewhat like commisions, but this is somewhat a win-win situation

So, if you feel like it; look it up, give me a reference and I'll do my best :3.

P.S. Has someone else having trouble seeing moods? Because if I wanna select a mood, it goes all straaaange and I have to random-click things to find the mood I want...

------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/20890209/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/20890209/ Wed, 08 Oct 2008 13:41:00 PDT !
My life is like, uuh, whut at the moment. Not much to say about it.
So a little quiz stolen from *Amnetic to tell you guys I'm still alive :3.
Oh, I loooove you :3.



Too. Damn. Lazy. To write a decent journal. :]

So you'll just have to get used to me and doing quizzes. :3

40 Things You Might Not Know About Me!

1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be?
Someone interesting who calls to tell me something interesting I'm not that picky with who calls me or not.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
I usually don't get one. But if I do: I return them. BOOOORING

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Dunno. I like talking. I hate talking. But I'm not that much of a listener. Or I am. I.. suck at self-examination

4. Do you take compliments well?
NO! If people tell me something looks good or something is fine, it always has the oppostie effect on me
I;m not gonna wear that oversized sweater anymore, too many people said something about it

5. Do you play Sudoku?
Yeah. I fail, but it's fun .

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
YES, I'LL PWN THOS- on second thought.. no

7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Yeah, with school. Pretty nostalgic, thinking back.

8. What was your favorite game as a kid?
I liked playing with dolls when I HAD to be inside. Outside I liked jumping ropes, playing with friends and more out-door activities. I was almost always to be found in a tree
OH! BUT BUT BUT! I liked that ABC donald duck game and 'Tomas the clown' when I was 4. Gawd, I was a computernerd back then. History repeats itself


9. Use three words to describe yourself:
A complete fucktard.
Whauw, it actually fits

10. Are you continuing your education?
Like duh.

11. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Nope.

12. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
My babypictures . Or something else from my childhood that's important to me.

13. How often do you read books?
In the vacations and for school. I used to read more. Then technology came

14. What is your favorite children's book?
Something with Jan Jaap, a teacher. And 'Find Wally'

15. What color are your eyes?
Don;t even start about it. It's really, REALLY hard to tell.

16. How tall are you?
Short.

17. Where is your dream house located?
Somewhere near other houses 8D

18. Have you tried sushi?
FUCK YES! It rocks

19. Where was the furthest place you travelled?
I guess Florida or Thailand.

20. Do you like mustard?
Yuck. Ketjup fuck yes!

21. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
HARD QUESTION. I guess sleep right now. My need-for-food-period is low right now .

22. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Both?

23. What movie do you want to see right now?
None, I guess.

24. If you could fast forward your life, would you?
FUCK NO! I'd rather go b... ]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/20091570/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/20091570/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 07:48:14 PDT
Update 'bout it:

8:15 AM. Waking up, feeling like: Crap, I need moar sleeeeeep .__.
8:55 AM. Already had breakfast and stuff, it almost felt like it was just yesterday I went to school. Installed my new FUCKIN' AWESOME RINGTONE!
9:20 AM. First lesson: Physics. Even though I don't know a lot of people, it's still a nice class
10:20 AM. First break, whoehoe ! I had soo much fun Got my first call, Sander loved the tune
10:40 AM. End of break, had a great time seeing some friends
again <3 :3
10:45 AM. Dutch, but the teacher had too much buttsex was in hospital so, 60 minutes of lame jokes with Sander/reading a Japanese magazine with ~Malthinae
11:40 AM. Biology. The class already had fun when I got kicked out (Chewing gum is forbidden, but I always lack that rule Previous year she always said: Get rid of the gum NOW, now she finialy punished me, hurray ). I used to take 5 minutes, I got back 20 minutes later because a lot of people I know didn't had class, so I stopped by to talk.. for a while
12:40 PM. Break . Had a great time again Number of calls: 2
13:10 PM. Drawing class, hurray . I'm finally gonna learn how to draw dynamical, or something . You'll see the results next year
14:10 PM. No class, 60 minutes of fun at the Aldi with Sander and Lianne. Number of calls: 5 . There was some kind of fuzz about Luc coming too since Lianne doesn't like him. So he came at the last moment to bring me to school. We stopped at the Aldi for a while because I thought I had some time left.
15:30 PM. I HUGELY MISCALCULATED. I thought I was a little late, so I walked in class with a huge smirk, but when I came in, everybody laughed at me. I was 15 minutes late . So I got my first to-late note too . Good way to make a impression on the teacher . Before I entered class I got called by Sander again. I advised him.. not to call anymore because the teacher would already hate me before the first class ended . But it was a great lesson after all :3.

I didn't paid any attention at any class, so I'm still as dumb as I was 3 days ago

Now I'm at home and I can't wait for the weekend to end, to make an even bigger mess
It's my last year after all .

And for those who're curious about my ringtone: [link]

~http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/20053002/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 03:24:16 PDT Actually, retirement is a vacation until the end...
*Random person: Just STFU*

Yeah uh. I had a great vacation . There was loooots op Coca Cola Light Lemon, which can never be not great And lots of fun with water. Lots of doom with water (Fucking rain >_> COME BACK WHEN I WANT SOME FREAKIN' SNOW!)..
And of coarse Turkey, which was eeh.. hot

But also, lots of fun with my friends (PROTIP: If you're gonna atempt baywatching, do not, I repeat: do not trip and fall. You'll not looks sexy . But it's fun to trip and fall I laughed with a friend for half an hour ), watterballons (Which of course, were all aimed at me >_> ), Phoenix Wright (You love it and you know it!), and my granny's sweet 50-years-married-par..

Hmm.. on second thought, it wasn't that much fun.. I mean.. Soooo many granny's united to say: 'You've grown so much', 'my, what a big breasts', 'do you have a boyfriend yet?', 'you're getting good grades at school, right?'... And to escape that, I thought I could entertain the little childeren (5, included my little brother). WRONG DECISION. That little girl adored me so much she'd probably wanted to follow me when I went to the bathroom. And that cute little boy really has Schizofrenia. 1 second of hugging, 2 seconds of scratching and kicking >_>.

I died. Srsly. But fortunatelly for me, there lived 2 old friends nearby so we went walking on the roundabout (And striking strange poses for people in cars passing by And having strange looks from the police ), talking about philosofical things (Great thing to do ) and just laugh together :3.

Good times.. good times..

But now, school's gonna start and I already fucking hate love it.
I mean, what's worse better than having a new Physics-class with barely anyone you know ?
And, of course, a new Chemistry-teacher NO ONE has exept me (No srsly, It's gonna be private class .___. And I don;t even suck at it D
And being 3 days a week at school until 4:15 PM and 2 of the 3 times even having to wait an hour just to have one fucking hour of Biology.. (Which is a new class too, no friends in the same class of course.) I mean, CAN YOU THINK OF ANYTHING MORE FUN?? *Throws chair through her window*
No srsly, 2 days at school were already equal to 2 days of anger, stress, and a yelling mom.

This will sure be a great year.
A final great year
'cause making things even 'better': I'm having finals this year
I will miss school, I don't wanna study D:.

The irony.

Well, I hope you all had a great vacation too, and.. a better start of a new year

~xShasha-Chan

------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/19483516/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/19483516/ Sat, 19 Jul 2008 13:48:40 PDT However, I finaly have my internet back . Not one day too early or something.

tagged by anemetic, or something like it.
You should have picked a less difficult name.

1. Do you like animals?
Yesh! At least... most of them.

2. Have you ever met an online friend in person?
Cherell !

3. Are you athletic?
Slightly

4. Are you: thin, fat, athletically built etc
Fat. As fat as posible.
Nah, more.. uuh.. common?
Fuck this question.

5. How much do you weigh?
Enough.

6. What's your height?
Too short.

7. Shoe size?
Size 4,5 I thought, or just maat 36.

8. Are you emo, chav or what?
Let's just say I'm different.

9. How old are you?
16.

10. When is your birthday?
19th of Novembre.

11. Do you like to receive gift art?
No D:.
[In other words: MAKE ME SOME FANART YOU LAZY COW]

12. Are you sociable?
I think so.

13. Do you have many friends?
What is many? I have enough.
Crappy quiz.
I hate you Liam.

14. What's your race?
Dutch. That's in Europe. And white.

15. Do you like to talk on the phone?
I'm a girl, like duh!

16. Are you single or taken?
Single. Huzzaah for that.

17. Do you eat meat?
My second name is 'meat-eat-monster'

18. Are you paranoid?
Not yet.

19. Do you read a lot?
Probably.

20. Do you listen to music, what kind?
Think of some music and I (have) listen(ed) to it.

21. Do you play any instruments?
I teach myself piano and guitar.
(When there's a piano/guitar around.)

22. How long have you been drawing?
Since I walked around with dipers.
My skills haven't improved much since.

23. What's the meaning of life?
Screw around and stay alive.


Huuuuuuuuuuge musquito's FTL D:
Why do I keep dreaming about those things D:

And I has a DS lite. Now I gotta download that Naruto game It was soo much fun playing it with Sander xD. I even bought a DS for it xD
------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/19122387/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/19122387/ Mon, 30 Jun 2008 07:00:15 PDT Behold.

First, VACATION ! No more school, no more stress at school, no more studying! I've got 7 weeks to do nothing and prepare for mfinal year (Yesh, I don't have to repeat this year, whohoeee :D!) Really, I already love it, and it has just started

It's, so contagious
I cannot get it out of my mind

Second, I've been to AVRIL LAVIGNEE <3!m Really, it was sooo awesome ! She playing with the audiance asif she was God and she sung some great songs <3! And the Jonas Brothers were awesome too, they looked soo cute <3 . This was my first concert everm and I will always remember it . It was a little touché she didn't played my favorite songs (Nobody's home and Innocence) but hey, you can't have it all :3.

Bier en tietuh, jahlah lah lala
Bier en tietuh, jahlah lahlah lah lala

Third, the day after the concert, I went to some kind of hockeycamp. There was not much hockey, and.. much beer . And we watched soccer and really, the orange hurt my eyes Touché we lost, but beside that, it was soo much fun . And there was this really cute guy which could do all kind of stuff with a burning stick and a bicycle on his chin .__. And he ghave me a back massage :d And a good one :3. Really, I want another one . And more beer.

She's into your syst-
wait, I'm not a child .__.

Last, find some friends, they're awesome :3. But eeh.. one adv>ise: NEVER EVER play 'truth or dare' when you have had some Martini .

That's it I guess. Happy holidays everyone <3!

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/19012145/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/19012145/ Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:25:56 PDT Computer works, internet works, hurraay !
I'll post an update about my life later, first I HAVE to do this.
Liam, I hate you.

No, I really do

Level 1
( ) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( ) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex (Not yet, muahaha >:3. Okay, just kidding )

SO FAR: 0

Level 2
(X) Are / Been In Love (I feel sooo stupid now D: )
(X) Dumped someone
( ) Been Fired
( ) Been In A Fist Fight (Again; not yet >:3)

SO FAR: 2

Level 3
(X) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(X) Skipped Class (Can I be one of the cool guys now :D)
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
(X) Seen Someone / Something Die (Does a fly count ?)

SO FAR: 5

Level 4
( ) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your deviantart / sheezyart Friends
(X) Been To Paris
(X) Been To Spain
(X) Been On A Plane
(X) Thrown Up From Drinking (And I was ill, that combination doesn't work D: )

SO FAR: 9

Level 5
(X) Eaten Sushi (GIMME MOAR)
(X) Been Snowboarding (I suck )
(X) Met Someone Through Internet (Cherell :D)
( ) Been in a Mosh Pit

SO FAR: 12

Level 6
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship (lolwut?)
(X) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Liked/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By (Who hasn't <3?)
(X) Made A Snow Angel

SO FAR: 16

Level 7
(X) Had A Tea Party
( ) Flown A Kite (But I wanna D: )
(X) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding
(X) Played Dress Up (I'm a girl? Like duh.)

SO FAR: 19

Level 8
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves (Wheeeeeee ~ :D)
(X) Gone Sledging
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game (I used to be 'Queen of the cheats' )
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School (It was just too boring.)

SO far: 24

Am I the only one noticing they skipped a level ?

Level 10
(X) Watched The Sun Set (And rise ofcoarse :D)
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake

SO FAR: 25

Level 11
(X) Been Tickled
(X) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(X) Been cheated on
(X) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 29

Level 12
(X) Won A Contest (With karaoke when I was 12 ! I sucked, I won. Hurray :D)
( ) Been Suspended From School
(X) Had Detention
( ) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident (Thank God I didn't.)

SO FAR: 31

Level 13
(X) Had / Have Braces
(X) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (HELL YEAH >:D)
(X) Danced in the moonlight

SO FAR : 34

Level 14
(X) Hated The Way You Look (I've got moodswings all the time. Sometimes I hate me. Sometimes I love me. Mostly hate.)
( ) Witnessed A Crime
(X) Pole Danced (Well, a little. I WAS JUST A KID .__.)
(X) Questioned Your Heart (Duh.)
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes

SO FAR: 38

Level 15
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud (It was Yuck.)
(X) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World (IN AMERICA)
(X) swam in the ocean
(X) felt like u where dying (I didn't like it.)

SO FAR: 42

Level 16
(X) cried to sleep
(X) Played Cops And Robbers
(X) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers (...?)
(X) Sang Karaoke (AND I WON REMEMBER? OEHOEH I'M PWNing YOU)
(X) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins (To annoy the person behind the bar. He hated me )

SO FAR: 47

Level 17
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(X) Made Prank Phone Calls ("Is your refrigerator running? Well then you better go catch it!" LOVE IT.)
(X) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Y... ]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/18657979/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/18657979/ Wed, 04 Jun 2008 07:50:07 PDT I love everything.

more height, less fat.
You're only perfect when you're dead.

No I'm not. I'm perfect my way.
Get The Fuck Out or enjoy your stay.

I love how my computer breaks down in the busiest week of school when I've got to make all my schoolpapers, schoolprojects and homework and even more shit, also making me unable to draw and showing you more crappy pictures (I have an addiction of drawing half-naked girls lately. I blame ~HiiKagomie. Except that she's a great artist. Give her some love . I'm also gonna practise while not being able to draw on the computer, yay )

I love how I suck at workmanship when I had to operate the sewingmachine which broke down after 5 minutes, making me breaking it even more trying to fix it and WHEN the teacher finally fixed it, time was up and I had to leave my project unfinished even though this was the last lesson we could work on it. (I ended up frustrated, eye twiching, yelling and screaming at everything around me, almost crying out of anger, because I do. After that, I screwed up another Maths test. Not that it matters, I was gonna fail it anyways After that I had a presentation. I really sucked, but people didn't notice. They thought I did fine, whoehoe . And ofcourse I had my friends to cheer me up )

Well, those are things that.. suck at the moment.
But my life is great, really .
Those are just the small downsides everyone needs to have once upon a time.
Just be gladd they aren't HUGE problems, like an exploding earth. I really hate it when she does that.

I'm gonna eat some more apples, I love apples.
Does that make me a shinigami?

Nevermind,
enjoy your stay on this planet <3

------
Lea's belated Valentines' present -> [link]
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/18488421/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/18488421/ Tue, 27 May 2008 08:27:50 PDT
I'll post something intresting here later, or something close to it.
Now I'm too busy being bored to do it now.

[Edit starts here]
You know what? I finally figured out why I'm happy 90% of the time And really, you are NOT gonna like it, but I DEMAND you to read it.

Okay. The power of my happiness depents on a couple of things:
The people around me - 60%
The things happening around me - 35%
Others - 5%


The people around me
It basically goes like this: I somehow am more happy if I have some friends/fun people around me, the more the better.

So that's; Mood = Number of persons x Happiness of people + current happiness

But if there are 100 happy people around me that I don't like, the formule doesn;t work right? So for the number of persons, you've got this: (Love for person + love for person and so on) : number of persons x Happiness of persons
-----
The happenings around me

No matter how much people there are around me, if my grandma just died, I get kicked outta school and my best friend ignores me, I probably won't be that happy. So my happiness also gets decided by the happenings around, like this (Again, the grade of food is just an example.);

Happiness = (Grade of happening + grade of happening ect.) : number of happenings.

The grade of the happening can be between 1-10 (for example). The higher the outcome, the moar happiness.
-----
Others

So, the happenings and the people are most of my happiness, but if I'm feeling a little down, even though I have much of nice people and happy things happening, 'others' usually make the difference. And by others I mean; How much sleep I get, If I ate LOOOOOTS of sugar, listen to my favorite music.. Shortly; My daily needings. This is slightly moar difficult:

Happiness = Eatinggrade³ + Musicgrade² + Sleepinggrade + ½Bladdergrade = Answer. √answer : 4.

So, my overall happiness gets decided by this:
Happiness = ((Mood = (Love for person + love for person and so on) : number of persons x Happiness of persons) x Happiness of people + current happiness) x 60 + ((Grade of happening + grade of happening ect.) : number of happenings.) x 35 + (Happiness = Eatinggrade³ + Musicgrade² + Sleepinggrade + ½Bladdergrade = Answer. √answer : 4) x 5) : 100

You didn't got that, right?
You were really scary if you did. Maths is scary D:
Let's just say I'm always happy. Because I am.

HUUUUGE EXEPTION; If you call me cute, sweet or short my happiness will be -2749812398172, which translated means: 'YOU'RE SOOOO GONNA DIEEE!!!1!

Admid you like it We ALL know you do .
You know I love you.

[Crap ends here]

P.S. It's not crap D:. If it would make sence, it could even be logical D:.

------
Lea's belated Valentines' present -> [link]
Into the challenge -> [link]

Listen to this; [link] It freaks me out SOOOOO much. People really hate me if I just listened to this. Happiness = infinity (Means: END OF TEH WOOOOOHRLD!1!!)

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/18414808/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/18414808/ Tue, 20 May 2008 12:42:08 PDT One day at a random form, Marsha decided to upload a
[link] Random cooking picture for the random persons which would be random looking at it.

My comment; Everyone, this is my fatass screwing up dinner.
Fatass, this is everyone.
Censored face? Noooo D:. The original pic doesn't has a face, it's true D:.
Random person #1; the ass pic is enough to please me...
Random person #2; Nice ass pic.
Me; I'm gladd you like my ass me
Random person #1; I\'m gladd you know we like your ass you.
Random person #2; Show us some pics showing your ass face.
Random person #1; Moar pics of ass ass
Random person #2; xMarshas ass will probably become as popular as Ren's ass one day... (Who it is, I don't know.. But it has something to do with fanboys or something..)
Me; Here's another picture of my ass face. [link]
Random person #3; Nice ass face! ^_~
And that was the story. What's the clue? I have a nice ass.

Am I supposed to be happy with it? Now I can say all sort of emo things that I'm too ugly to have a boyfriend and that I'll be alone by myself for all eternity BUT I STILL HAVE A NICE ASS. Why the fuck should I care!?
But I'm not going to say those stuf because it's not true and deep inside I know that. Only my boyfriend doesn't.

I don't have one.

Fuck spring, really.. Everyone is in loove and everything is like whoooo and nice and kissykissyhuggles. Except for me. Jealousyyy NO IT'S NOT. Okay, maybe. I just say that for someone who hates love and everything surrounding it, I miss it around me.

I've gone emo on that little part of my life which I don;t have. My life is wonderfull, my life is perfect and I'm whining about this..
Maybe I have some issues..

Or I don't.
Where was that 'indecicive-stamp' again?'

Everything is perfectly fine, except my head could use a.. an another brain to structure everything.

Xx Marshaa

------
Lea's belated Valentines' present -> [link]
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/18021873/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/18021873/ Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:11:46 PDT But to you too; Happy holidays <3.

EDIT starts here
And now I'm back, FROM AMERICA 8D.
And really, it was awesome <3. Everything here seems.. soo small compared to there where everything is.. soo big . Anyway, I had a great time, and you?

Well, to celebrate.. something I'm gonna do that Google-game I found !
And everything.. not straight is my comment, of coarse.

Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
A: Marsha West needs to get laid.
Marsha needs to grow up!
Marsha needs to give Archie his balls back
I need to do a lot

Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
A: Marsha Marsha Marshmallows: no matter what it looks like, if it’s sugar, they’ll eat it. YESH, I have my own Ben & Jerry taste :D!

Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
A: Marsha says she is afraid of horses! D:

Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
A: Marsha wants people to know is that her butterflies are NOT killed in order to create her art. NOES, I'm a liar AND a butterfly-killer D:

Q: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
A: Yoshi seems to have a better grasp of the English language than Marsha does. lol

Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
A: Marsha hates me and made fun of my dress. Muahaha >:]

Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search:
A: Marsha asks. "As always, what happens? You pick up someone, and it's not someone you should've picked up."

Q: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search:
A: Wherever Marsha goes and in whatever state she finds herself, she is striving to fulfill her calling and destiny as God's minstrel of music. Lol wut?

Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search:
A: Marsha likes to collect coins. and Dolls What kind of coins, what kind of dolls Not the wrong ones I hope

Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search:
A: "Marsha Eats A Cake" The cake is a lie!
Marsha eats a football and then her nose swells up ..Am I that dumb D: ?

Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search:
A: Marsha wears a terrible outfit while she's doing her exercises Why is everything I do wrong D: ?

Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search:
A: Marsha was arrested when she failed to pay a taxicab driver. lol even though I collect coins I'm still broke I fail at life

So, I stole this from ~Malthinae who stole it from ~Merenwen-luinwee. I don't know where she got it from or wether I have to tagg people. I just know it was hell of a lot fun and you should try it too!

And, that's it .
Xx Marshaa

------
Lea's belated Valentines' present -> [link]
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/17791694/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/17791694/ Fri, 11 Apr 2008 07:38:01 PDT ! Yesh, my thumb got amputated because some random bitch hit her hockeystick on it. It was blue and twice as thick and veeerry gross. It got amputated 2 days ago.. Liar, even though it hurts like hell and bleeds all the time doesn't mean it's dead
But it's ALMOST dead : O!
I think I'm catching stupid >_>'

Just laying down in the grass, rockin' music on, laughing with people I call friends.. Everything seemed perfect until:
*whisper* the toddler-invasion..
That.. was.. soooo.. AWESOME Really, first little girls were just staring at us and after that they began to pull our legs and chase us to death, they even tied me up to a tree asking if I loved the guy who was tied to a tree earlier . no 'yeessh, he's very sweet =3.' . Ropejumping, having all 15 of them on my neck, twirling around and falling on the grass again, chitchatting about random subjects and telling them to always be nice.
And ofcoarse lots of food, sunshine and swings!
Aren't those the most ideal things to have around you for 4 hours? Ofcourse they are =3.

To laugh, to be scared, to punch someone's back because he scared you twice a day.. even eating ice creams and cake (Happy B'day my dearest friend <3) and even more laughing
I just can't explain, the last two days were just soo awesome : D! I can't wait untill Summerbreak <3.

Sitting in front of the water next to the sweetest guy ever, watching the sunset. tenderly saying each other to love you forev.. No. Just, no.

It's only spring, but I can't even imagine that it was snowing 2 weeks ago. To me, it is already summer, and I'd wish this would never go away : ).

I'm in heaven <3

------
Lea's belated Valentines' present -> [link]
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/17619879/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/17619879/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:01:33 PDT [edit]Whoo~ I crossed the 2,000 pageviews !
Whoo~ I made my 100th oekaki !
Whoo~ I feel like taco's

Randomness FTW =] [/edit]

LOL Mudkip PWNAGE .
I'm gonna enjoy DA today

Nevermind this journal, enjoy the day



THE FREAKIN' CLOWN BRAINWASHED ME, IT'S SCARY: [link]
Damn you ~cebuanakim, damn you >_<'

------
Lea's belated Valentines' present -> [link]
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/17422475/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/17422475/ Thu, 20 Mar 2008 08:09:43 PDT
Break my fall..

There's not much I fear, but I'm really afraid of the death.. And why? I don't get it myself.. Because all those heaven stories, or hell stuff.. I don't really care what happens to me after that, but the fact that I'll need to leave everything behind makes the death unbareable to me!
Maybe earth is the hell we all fear.. what happend to our paradise?
Didn't I wrote about this before..? Aah.. nevermind..

It feels like there's nothing going right now, as if everything is filled with an black emptiness. As if all my happyhappyjoyness in a flash disappeared, hides, shivers for.. what? I dunno, maybe I'm getting depressed because uh, because of what? Because it's vacation? No, that would be the lamest excuse ever

I've found what's missing inside you

Well, this is where the real crap begins. So, 'First' of all; GOOD MORNING .
Why? Because I haven't been really active lately and because it's always morning I hate it when people are complaining about that. 'It's noon, not morning'. I hate time, time sucks.

I still remember that video. I was around 4 years old and hopelessly searching the garden for chocolate-eggs. And everytime I found one I bend to pick it and put in in my little basket. But everytime I bend to put an egg in, another one fell out. So while my parents were reading books or cooking I was still busy picking up eggs.

Now 16 years later I'm just thinking about how fast time actually goes.

It feels like yesterday that I was thrown on the grond by stupid kids
It feels like yesterday that I got my first kiss
It feels like yesterday that I attemped middle school
It all feels like yesterday

Break my fall...

Now I'm afraid of the future. Nice, another fear.. coward I just wish I was a time traveller, or that a day had 48 hours instead of 24. I wish I'd never have to go to sleep or that the time just didn't exist.

And today, I found out about my time-dyslexia.
What it is? Dyxlexia, but with time. Not being able to tell what time you leave without looking to a clock. Not being able to recognize times at once. Not being able to come in time for an important test and missing half of the test because of being late.
That's time-dyslexia, don't underestimate it.

Nanananana

Done with the ranting; have a nice life
I'm still addicted to hearts, shamefully..

------
Into the challenge -> [link]

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/17070886/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/17070886/ Tue, 26 Feb 2008 09:35:42 PST
And I'm soo crazy I'm gonna do it
I really CAN'T complete them all 100, but maybe if I'm out of inspiration this could help me =3. Copy them if you want to <3

Done; 20/100

1. Introduction [link]
2. Love [link]
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace [link]
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence [link]
16. Questioning
17. Blood [link]
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude (Strength of mind that allows one to endure pain or adversity with courage)
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature [link]
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow [link]
29. Happiness [link]
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers [link]
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars [link]
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams [link]
40. Rated
41. Teamwork [link]
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation [link]
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret [link]
54. Tower
55. Waiting [link]
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head [link]
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody [link]
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession [link]
72. Mischief Managed (?)
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me? [link]
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope [link]
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation

I'll be working on it.

Screw my watchers, I have money.

Nothing is sure in life I guess.
I need inspiration.

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16800841/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16800841/ Sat, 09 Feb 2008 13:08:26 PST beside that, I found too many more OMFGthings ! It's worth a journal =]




That's one, there are a lot more of it x'D Just so to one of the pages (or here; [link]), read the comments and join the madness !

[link]
Join the brainwashing, you're gonna hate me >_<
AND I HATE THAT FUCKING SANDER WHO SEND ME THIS LINK, MONDAY UR GONNA DIE!!!!1! PWNGE!

That's the 3th one; the lol-omfg-roflmao-epic-pwnage. I don't have a fucking idea where it came from, it totaly sucks because I can't read it a t all, but it's ZOMG.

The 4th is that you ALL need to watch YuGiOh;TheAbrigdedSeries. Really, you're gonna laugh your fucking ass of; YGO;TAS PWND !
([link])

The 5th is that this is already the 5th time I updated this journal x'D FUCK IT


The 6th is the celebration on my 50th deviation, 20 watchers and 1,307 pageviews.. hurray !


If I find more, I'm surely gonna upload it xD



P.S.;



]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16750175/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16750175/ Wed, 06 Feb 2008 06:59:28 PST _
I know; Google. But the point is my computer is a dumbass and doesn't warn me if there are any virus-things in it, so I really wouldn't know where to download it. Also that crack thing; same story.

So my question is: Where did you download PSP without the virus-things =O? (I'd perfer PSP 9, but if you have another version it's fine with me.)


Hmm, maybe I sould just buy it..
Happy Valentine's Day <3

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16592214/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16592214/ Sun, 27 Jan 2008 06:31:55 PST
On the Monday my throat hurts and I had FUCKING much pain in my muscles. I didn't mention the troath very often, but it did hurt a little. And my muscles; OUCH. Everythime I walked, sat or did something else I could feel the pain EVERYWHERE. It was also the day were I was really emo and stuff, I barely smiled.

On the Tuesday my throat hurted even more, but my musclepain stopped. I couldn't swallow anything and had also some difficulty to speak/laugh. That really sucked because I was really happy that moment. Also I'm an eveningperson, but that day I was already sleepy at 9 PM. And believe me: That's not normal.

On the Wensday my throat still hurt, but my mom told me it wasn't that serious.. I also had a little fever, when people thought is was cold I kept on saying I almost burned to death. Mood: Sleepy.

On the Thursday my throat didn't hurt at all on a magical way... But my fever became worse. I was also very warm-dressed, so that didn't help. Beside that I was really talkative and shouted all the time.

On the Friday all my little feelings of pain were gone, exeot for the fever: but I didn't mind that at all. Also I was really optimistic and stuf. When I came home from school, my mood turned the table and for some reason I couldn't stop singing 'I haaaate myself..' and told myself I shouldn't eat for one day, starting tomorrow.

On the Saturday, that stupid throat of mine desided to hurt again and so i could barely eat. Also I was obsessed with myself, I almost fell in love with me o_O'. Beside the pain, I still couldn't stop eating. Little stupid, neh?

On the Sunday my eyes were all red! Serious, my left eye has been red all day and doesn't give a sign of stop being red. My fever also came back, because I'm sweating while I'm writing this. My troat also hurts a little. Mood: Freakin' confused.


I told you it wasn't a real sickness. It's just really weird and stuff. I hope this will all be over by tomorrow, but one thing is sure: NOT A SINGLE FEVER CAN TRACK ME DOWN.
Because I'm still going to school tomorrow, wheter I'm sick or not .

Marshaaa

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16475098/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16475098/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 12:56:47 PST A magical number, thanks everyone

Is 'mundane' the same thing as 'slow'?
Ah well <3.

Xx Marshaaaa
Song I'm listening to; [link]


P.S. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH o.O!
I'm going crazy. Too much to do
Too much to read, Too much to think about
My head explodes.
Gotta sing, dance, write, draw if off.. Gotta ahrg.

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16429859/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16429859/ Wed, 16 Jan 2008 10:16:38 PST Gu dan, shi ye ge ren de kuang huan
kuang huan, shi yi qun ren de gu dan " Ye Zi - Ah Sang (Chinees)

Translation;
"Loneliness, is one person's celebration
Celebration, is a group of people's loneliness"

Sorry for the english people who wanted to read this, but I'm to fucking lazy so I'm gonna write it in Dutch.

Eenzaamheid. Voor mij betekend dat gevangen zijn in je eigen gedachtes, je eigen wereld terwijl de rest alleen maar kan toekijken hoe jij in je eigen wereld leeft. Weetje, ik ben gelukkig in mijn eigen wereld, echt waar. Het is mijn paradijs, mijn plaats waar ik me kan terugtrekken als het me teveel word. Soms is het fijn dat je die wereld voor je alleen hebt, soms zou je zo graag willen dat die wereld meer dan 1 persoon bevat.

Half dankzij Niels, half dankzij mezelf ben ik filosofisch gaan denken de laatste dagen, en ik heb geen idee waarom maar mijn conclusie na al het gedenk was dat ik gewoon eenzaam ben. Misschien komt het ook wel door die kuttoetsweek dat ik mijn vrienden minder zie, of doordat ik de laatste tijd téveel Anime kijk waardoor mijn sociale contacten op MSN ook wegvallen. Maar 1 ding is zeker: Ik smeul langzaam weg.

Het is gewoon dat mijn hoofd zich in een grote wazige mist (Oké, dat is slim om te zeggen ) bevind, waar soms lichtjes langskomen maar niet helder genoeg schijnen om mij te laten meegenieten. Als ik op school ben zie ik mensen die ik ken, daar praat ik mee, daar lach ik mee en dan lopen we weer verder, onderweg naar nieuwe mensen. Maar dan als ik thuiskom ben ik weer helemaal alleen. Dan bedenk ik mezelf dat mijn eenzaamheid neit alleen thuis is, maar ook op school. Alsof je de mensen om je heen ziet, ze naar je lachen maar zelf ongeroerd als een standbeeld kijkt hoe iedereen voorbij loopt. Op dat moment zucht je, en zet je je muziek aan.

iPod, momenteel is muziek het enige waar ik me voledig in kwijtkan. Ik luister dan ook bijna aleen maar liedjes met een 'eenzame' sfeer, wat alles aleen maar erger maakt. Mijn iPod is dan nu ook echt mijn beste vriend, zo voelt het. Ik, alleen in mijn eigen wereld met mijn iPod als beste vriend. Ik ben diep gezonken.

Waar is de oude ik gebleven, die altijd zo uitgebreid lachtte om alles en niks? Waar is de oude ik die altijd de foutste opmerkingen maakte, die té aanwezig was, die altijd gewoon ik was?
Verdwenen.
Niet meer dan een uit de hand gelopen grap.
Een toneelstuk.

Oh, ik besef me opeens dat mensen die ik ken dit gaan lezen, fijn. Ach, wat maakt het uit.. Dan weten jullie in ieder geval dat ik alleen een leeg omhulsel ben, niets meer dan leegte: wen eraan. Mijn titel heeft nog gelijk ook; I'm gion' emo.

the end.

P.S.; [link] Poem which belongs to this journal

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16414071/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16414071/ Sat, 19 Jan 2008 11:37:14 PST
Something USEFULL for in this older journal;

Beware DeviantART, because Marsha discovered a tressure which I had seen before, but never appreciated the value of it:

The scraps

No, serious ! Everything I considder as art, but isn't worth the frontpage: Scraps!
Everything which isn't finished and I need your opinion of; Scraps!
Everything what is just fun to upload but exctually doesn't make any sence: Scraps!

It's great, it's fun, it is THE GREATEST ADVENTURE EVAH !
Go admire the greatness of the scraps !

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The uselessness;

One I'll type a message here, for now it's just an empty journal because I wanted to save some space..

Me: "In the end we're all gonna die. Exept for me, I'm the one laughing."

I don't know where that came from xD. But it sure is true, *Exagerated evillaugh* MuahahahahahhahaaHAAAAAA >xD


P.S. My tests suck. I only had tree and I'm already dying. (Hmm.. that's ironic *reads her quote a few lines back*)


Hearts are fun = D <3

]]> ~xShasha-Chan http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16382141/ http://xShasha-Chan.deviantart.com/journal/16382141/ Sun, 13 Jan 2008 04:18:50 PST Tagged by zabuza-chan

The rules are:
1 - post these rules
2 - each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves
3 - tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts
4 - at the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named
5 - go to their page and leave a comment telling them they’ve been ‘tagged’

- RANDOM FACTS -

1.) I'm such a dramaqueen! Really, I exaggerate all the time and scream all the time and act all the time and.. Well I guess you got the mesagge

2.) I really wished I could study 6 times and get 20 jobs at once, because I really don't know what to choose! (Maybe I exaggerated that a little x'D)

3.) I FUCKING HATE TIME! Sometimes it goes to fast, except when you need to be patient, then it goes to slow >_<. The only thing I like about time is the ticking noise I can listen to that for hours (Again; exaggerated)

4.) If you'd try to dig into my head and read my thoughts you'd be ready to visit a psychiatrist (This time; not exaggerated)

5.) If people ask me my eyecolour I can only tell my eyes aren't brown. Really, they're green, blue, grey (sometimes even yellow o.O) and one has an orange dot in it. But I still love my eyes !

6.) If I'd go deaf I'd kill myself (exaggerated). Really; without music my life would suck!

7.) Speaking about music: I listen to everything, except hardcore. The same thing with dressing; I don't even have a style D= So call me punk, emo, slut, whatever you want because you're never right

8.) I love to draw, write, photograph and doodle HEARTS! I hate love, really.. but just typing <3 or drawing little hearts makes me feel all happy inside ~ ! (little exaggerated x'D I told you I did that a lot )





-Single or Taken: Single
-Eye color: Read point 5
-Shoe size: 6.5
-Height: 5 foot, 2 inches (I GUESS, I RELLY HATE FOOT/INCHES o.O In cm it's 1.52 m)
-What are you wearing right now?: White t-shirt with pink-orange-blue text on it and my pyjamapants (What, i'm only awake for 1 hour o.O), no socks, no make-up
-Kind of pants: pyamapants x'D
-Number: 7
-Animal: Dolphins, SMALL LITTLE KITTENS , cows (they rock ), sheep (FLUFFYYY <3) and pinguins
-Drink(non alcoholic): Coca-cola, Spa fruit, Dubbelfriss, everything which isn't water (I hate water, It doesn't contain ANY taste or colors D
-Drink(ALCOHOLIC): I don't drink that much..
-Month: Novembre (B-day), Juny (Summer <3), decembre (Winter <3)
-Juice: Orange
-Favorite cartoon/anime character: Pff.. (KKM) Yuuri, Wolfram, Danny Phantom, (YGO) Atemu, Bakura, (DNAngel) Dark, (Gravitation) KUMAGORO, Kim Possible, Shaun the sheep (Do you know that in America?)

Have You Ever...
-Given anyone a bath: Does my little brother count?
-Bungee Jumped?: UNFORTUNATELLY NOT
-Made yourself throw-up?: Uhh, no.
-Gone skinny dipping?: Skinny what!?
-Eaten a dog?: WHAT TEH FUCK O.o'
-Loved someone so much it made you cry?: I'm not a wimp.
-Broken a bone?: No
-Played truth or dare?: Ofcourse