http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:xhopelesley&section=today deviantART RSS for by:xhopelesley en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:58:08 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/9926958/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/9926958/ Fri, 01 Sep 2006 07:18:41 PDT The first 10 who comment will get a sketch free. However! In return you must offer 10 free sketches in your own journal.

You have to ask for a picture for someone else!!! This is not a request for yourself.

Anyone can request, as long as you dont break any of the rules!


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Whoops! I got this from Onna-giri's journal! ]]> ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/9465761/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/9465761/ Sun, 23 Jul 2006 07:51:35 PDT
I like working at The Spot though. Just wish they didn't sell food (so I would quit eating it). Anyone up for an actual drive-in theatre? xD I had someone call and ask what movies we were playing... I like all the managers. I haven't worked with Ish yet though (well, unless you count the hour I worked with him the one day I worked a day shift) and, consequently, he's the one that grouched at me. o.o But he seems really nice! D: I'm overly sensitive (and should have maybe barfed my way over to the neighbors and used their phone rather then waiting until six to finally have a working phone in my house). There might have been some sarcasm in those parenthesis.

This entry is bouncing all over the place. Kind of like my moods. I fell like singing: "Up, down, touch the ground, puts me in the mood FOR HONEY!" That should be my theme song, describes me perfectly. Emotionally and physically. I lost 20 Ibs. and promptly gained 8 Ibs back! D:< CURSES.

I improved my Journal banner. Now it looks like blood! And it looks like the words are carved into the white flesh of the background. D I made another banner with a moon and stars all over the place but it was... too happy. xD I might be in a happy sort of mood, but mainly a, "I enjoy looking at this blood" sort of mood. Blood is all red and... liquidy and stuff! D: So what? I'm weird. Yay.

I should finish my summer reading now that I'm thinking about it. I have three books to read. 1984, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and um... this other book? What is it called again? Um... Shoot. I forgot. Probably because I don't want to read it. xD It looks boring. D: Boring. Boring. Boring. Yea, yea, don't judge a book by its cover. Well, I read the cover, and the first chapter, and fell asleep during the first sentence of the second. Boring. I made it through Moby Dick in the fourth grade. COME ON. You know its gotta be boring. I'm helping my sister with her Summer reading book as well. She gets to read Frankenstein. Lucky poop. Of course, she doesn't like 'horror' books (and Frankenstein isn't exactly what I'd call 'scary'). She told me she's confused by the instructions so I'm helping. Not giving her the answers of course (which I could anyways, but I won't). I don't have to mark my books any more though. DD YAY. LIKE. OMG. YAY. Just gotta read em. (All though, Mr. Shimon said it could be helpful to mark them anyways.) Wait, That might be confusing. I'm supposed to still look for stuff and 'make note of it' but what I mean by 'not having to mark' is, I don't have to highlight every symbol/theme/motif/paradox/other literary gobbedly goo that I come across.

Does this seem like a free association entry to anyone else? Cassie? CTDCTD. OMG. I can't wait for AP Psych next year! I hope I have the same class as Cassie. D: Even though she will probably end up AB day 2nd period with it, and me 3rd period because she's in stupid-o band and I'm in stupid-o choir. Eh. Mrs. Gorman is da shiznit though.

Speaking of AP classes. I got my AP test results back from AP Gov. HAHAHA. I got a 2. xD That means I'm 'possibly qualified' to recieve college credit. Parkside will accept it. That's all I care about since I'm probably going there my first two years. I was only expecting like a half point. xD So, that means Adriana and I got the same thing. Wow, my grammar went down the toilet in this entry.

I watched Waterboy and The Sixth Sense on ABC Family Channel last night. They were good movies. w00t. HEY CASSIE. WE GET TO WATCH THE SICTH SENSE AND AWAKENINGS IN PSYCH AGAIN. CRYING. D AND DEAD PEOPLE!! xD C... ]]> ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/9109010/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/9109010/ Sun, 18 Jun 2006 19:48:33 PDT
Oh well, nothing I can do about it. Sure I was upset at first, but its alright I guess. Its just... I really want a letter in music something awful and I'm never going to be able to get one. I can never do Solo and Ensemble because we have no money and I can't fund raise for shit. I just... really wanted this really bad. I really really did. And I didn't get it. I can't help feeling like shit. I'm a crap artist, and now I guess I'm not a good enough singer. All these others in choir get so much, so many chances, and I don't. You're either a kid who gets to do everything, get voice lessons, or you don't put music at the top of your list.

It hurts really bad when she beams about our choir and then she only picks out individual students for their solos or doing something special for her. I understand why to some extent, but I don't think its right to do that. I would do all of that stuff to if I had the chance! But no one ever gives it to me even though I sure as hell try to do it myself! I'm never in the right place or I'm out of place or off in my bedroom crying and wanting to just smash my head through the window and forget about everything.

I wanted to be in Drama so terribly, but I can't. I love acting almost as much as I love singing but I can't bring myself to a meeting. My mother has relented about it but... now I have to get over the fact that people really just don't like me. And some people just are plain mean. And Mr. Fountain scares me.

I can't help but feel like I annoy everyone, even though everyone says I don't. I wish people would quit feeding me bullshit.

We started a second final in AP US Government and Politics today from the regular level class. Its a piece of cake. I'm flying through most of it.

And we are still doing Nutrition in Anatomy and Physiology and I can feel people glaring at my back as the designated 'fat' kid in the class (even though I'm not the biggest, but I am the least popular). I can't even get a word in edge wise because I raise my hand and everyone else shouts out the answers even when she calls my name to answer. Like I'm invisible. But I got the highest test score in the class. So they can kiss my ass.

I want to be normal.

And I want to feel like the beautiful person my mother thinks I am.

And I really wanted to sing in the Madrigals.

I don't know.

My father made me give up my precious baby Shadow, but she went to a good home, I'm sure of it. Annie will treat my baby with all the love in the world just like I did. She's a spoilt kitty is what she is.

I'd been crying all week because I'm lonely without my baby and it hurt my mommy and daddy to see me like that, so they took me to the Humane Society and let me pick out a new kitty. He's such a love bug! I do love him with all my heart but there is always a place reserved just for my Shadow cat. <3

My new Pimp Daddy Cat is called Roscoe. I went out and bought him a bell collar and a name tag and he was strutting around showing it off because none of the other animals have tags (I'm the pickiest one in the family about licensing and grooming and shots and stuff... I guess that makes me the most animal friendly). He is a handsome man, six years old. Poor Princess is terrified of him though. She's used to Shadow being all "WHY YOU UP IN MAH GRILL G!?" and puffing up at her. YOu know, they never really fought but, eh. She didn't like our dogs. But Roscoe is a sweet thing. Woke me up this morning about 6:00 and I about died. But, eh. I need to get my lazy ass up out of bed. Do you want to see a picture of him? Well, you're going to anyway!



It isn't the best picture, but he still my baby boy. <3 He looks rather high. xD <333

But I miss you Shadow!! ]]> ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8971694/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8971694/ Sun, 04 Jun 2006 18:55:42 PDT
Alright, I pretty much aced all of my finals and I only have English to worry about on the ninth. PHEW! That will be cake! SIMPLE. Done. Alright, moving on. Right now in Human Anatomy and Physiology we, that is, the juniors, are doing a separate lesson on Nutrition. I could already feel the eyes boring into the back of my head! Gosh. Just because I don't way two pounds and can blow away in the wind does not mean I sit and gorge myself on cheeseburgers from McDonald's on a regular basis! (Quite actually, fast food in general is disgusting but I bare it every so often so as not to starve.) Goodness gratious. You would think someone would do a little research on the steriod Prednazone. In fact, I think I spelt that wrong. Who cares. It inflates you like a balloon. Bite me. Oh, did I mention it causes mood swings?

I auditioned for Madrigal Singers on Friday! It went really well, I stayed in key (only went note even a half-step flat). Where I went wrong was in the sight reading. She goes, "Alright, I want you to read the second soprano line!" and I went, "WTF MATE!?" I have NEVER sang soprano two EVER in my life. I've always been shipped between Soprano one and Alto two. D: Can someone answer that for me? Other then that I think it went really well! Oh goodness! I am sooooo nervous about Monday. I am hoping she posts the results after school! If she doesn't I might just go crazy. D: Please, everyone wish me luck, or to break a leg, or cross your fingers or something for me! If I don't make Madrigals I think my heart will break in two!

Hmm, Friday was also Ryann's birthday party! I could stay the entire time because I was supposed to be watching my younger sister since my parents disappeared for the weekend. While I was there it was soo much fun. I gave Ryann a rated R DVD. Hehehe. Hey! She's 17 now! it's legal! We watched AMVs on her computer in the basement, went back upstairs and watched her open her presents while people got busy in the basement... and some people actually did in the car, or supposedly. o.o I was rather confused. But it was amazing!! I'm really sorry I couldn't have stayed longer. D: Although I did get a chance to chase after Andrew's car and fall to my knees screaming, "WHY!!!!!!!????????!?!???"

AND OMG. NAKED FAT STREAKER WITH PENIS. DDDDDDDD:

The rest of the weekend has been spent at my Grandmother's house. :] I love my grandma to death, and my grandpa! It was sooo much fun (even though I had to make occasional trips back to my house to let the dogs out). We rode the ATV for horus and went fishing (and my sister got sufficiantly red) at which I managed to catch Jack. Jack Squat that is. I fell into the pond, lost my knickers, smacked my head on a branch while riding the ATV, and was bitten by a snapping turtle.... xD But it was a good time!!

Oh, did I mention I have two broken toes??

Well, anyways, I'm off to talk to Sean! Lovvles y'all!

P.S.--I will respond to comments soon! ]]> ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8810700/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8810700/ Thu, 18 May 2006 18:27:54 PDT Tagged by =curry23

--The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly.

--In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

--Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours.

1.) I'm constantly paranoid about having wedgies.
2.) I'm a Obssessive Compulsive Hand washer.
3.) I have a birth mark on my inner thigh shapped like a lightning bolt.
4.) I can't keep a pen free of chew marks longer then five minutes.
5.) When people bump into me in the hallway at school i say, "God bless you."
6.) I break out into the CHicken Dance whenever I'm happy.

Who should I tag?

~KifGem79
=snapesnogger
~BrokenAngels
=darkmoon3636
*akemi-shuu
*wiredgirl ]]> ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8732688/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8732688/ Wed, 10 May 2006 17:06:25 PDT ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8472559/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8472559/ Fri, 14 Apr 2006 19:25:35 PDT
--In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

--Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours.

1.) I still pick my nose when I think no one's looking.
2.) I sit like 'L' from Death Note when I'm at the computer.
3.) My nose constantly itches for reasons unbenownst to myself.
4.) I have to do a lot things in even numbers (like chewing).
5.) I'm addicted to scented lotions.
6.) I secretly enjoy dancing in front of my mirror in my under things and sing elvis songs into cans of hairspray.

Who should I tag?

~BrokenAngels
~McNewton
~Uber-Epps
=snapesnogger
~fossilizedlove
~zeiva ]]> ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8412124/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8412124/ Sat, 08 Apr 2006 21:12:11 PDT Doesn't that rock?

Wow, I've been making a lot of short entries lately! ]]> ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8410423/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8410423/ Sat, 08 Apr 2006 17:40:06 PDT DDD You will get a prize. D w00t ]]> ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8410153/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8410153/ Sat, 08 Apr 2006 17:09:21 PDT
Oh well! I'm still in a great mood at the moment!

I want to give a shout out to mah peep =curry23 who rawks sawks! Check out her really awesome gallery! ]]> ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8402034/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8402034/ Fri, 07 Apr 2006 20:30:14 PDT ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8333908/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8333908/ Sat, 01 Apr 2006 12:37:27 PST ]]> ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8069220/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8069220/ Sat, 04 Mar 2006 21:27:21 PST
Well, I would talk about Chorale Fest, concerts, school, life, my art, but I can't. I just... can't. I'm not in the mood.

It feels like my heart could just drop out of my chest for the world to trample over. I can't help it. I try. And I try. And I try. I want to be better, I want things to work out, I want things to happen for me not to me. I want my world.

I wish I could clone myself. I wish I could clone myself so she could live my life for me and I could withdraw into myself and never bother with the world again. She could take the pain, the love, the hypocrisy, and she could make the decisions. And I hate myself for being this weak. I know I constantly advocate life, but for the second time in my life, I can understand the position.

I've always wanted to be a selfish person, but I can't. It isn't in me.

I wish I could clone myself. I do.

And then again, I don't.

Maybe I am selfish in that way, I want the beauty of life with none of the pain.

I felt so beautiful today, strutting around with a smile--dnacing in front of the mirror in a t-shirt and panties singing 'Defying Gravity' into a bottle of hairspray. And slowly, my mirror cracked. And now my mascara is running.

I know so very many people care about me. I know it. But it feels like the people I care about the very most, don't reciprocate. And maybe I'm just insecure. Probably. I hope.

Someone save me from this whirling nightmare that plagues me.

Please.

Redeem me. ]]> ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8013318/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/8013318/ Sun, 26 Feb 2006 21:51:31 PST ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/7900502/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/7900502/ Tue, 14 Feb 2006 20:04:44 PST ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/7838401/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/7838401/ Wed, 08 Feb 2006 14:30:48 PST ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/7689060/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/7689060/ Mon, 23 Jan 2006 19:39:22 PST ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/7676214/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/7676214/ Sun, 22 Jan 2006 13:11:28 PST
My sister threatened to smack me with a potatoe, so I stole it and threatned to anal rape her with it. And then we held hands and sang songs in a happy meadow. >>

I think I'm high on band-aid fumes ]]> ~xhopelesley http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/7643182/ http://xhopelesley.deviantart.com/journal/7643182/ Wed, 18 Jan 2006 20:06:09 PST
I can't help it.

Don't sympathize.

Finals begin tomorrow and I haven't studied. Someone might ask, "Amanda, are you going to study?" No. HELL NO. I can't begint o wrap my brain around studying for anything. Its only English and Art finals for me tomorrow. That won't be horrible. The only thing I need to do is get my English Binder together and.. I don't want to. At all. Bah.

And then I have to glue my pictures down to matte board for my art project. Then write a critique. BAH HUMBUG.

Why am I in such a cantankerous mood? Because I just am. I'll be petulant if I want to.

Eww. I just licked a gluestick because it was next to my push pop. ]]> ~xhopelesley