http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:xian-ated&section=today deviantART RSS for by:xian-ated en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 30 Nov 2009 05:10:01 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/27455646/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/27455646/ Sun, 27 Sep 2009 18:49:39 PDT
]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/25233447/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/25233447/ Sun, 04 Oct 2009 17:56:10 PDT
ok denise, stop feeling sorry for yourself... nope i can't help it.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/24699221/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/24699221/ Mon, 11 May 2009 07:52:14 PDT < it was bad i must have been tired.. didnt even hear the cleaning lady drop by my room. (and she makes a huge racket with the metal bin when she empties it, so it usually wakes me up)

terrible. procrastinating.. i know somehow i'll make it through my exams.. but so much happening. think i feel a bit squashed. and there isn't anyone that i feel i can share it with except on dA cos.. well i hardly know any of my friends here, but what i do know of them is they are all nice, and nobody really remembers what people write in journals anyway. so this will be forgotten soon after its read. which i rather like. just as long as i get to write something down and try to make myself feel better.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/24273185/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/24273185/ Thu, 16 Apr 2009 12:22:48 PDT
my sister really likes the cutesy stuff i draw *slight cringe here* and sometimes she says she looks at it and how happy it looks.. well.. that is if im in that sort of mood i suppose. or it could be so happy that it was sad. if you get my meaning.

anyway, its kinda lonesome and boring in my hall room because its easter and my neighbour went home for the holidays.. i keep trawling facebook/msn hoping to find people to chat to. however, everyone has exams and we are all trying to study.. >< well.. i don't feel comforted that most of my friends haven't started studying yet. partially because i don't believe them. ahh well. i will pull through this. just need God. all the time.

to get to the point, its not exactly the happy mood sort of thing that i will tend to draw now. however, maybe if i try to draw something to make me feel better i will get a happy mood.

ah. i will stop the rambling here.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/23703233/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/23703233/ Sun, 15 Mar 2009 20:04:11 PDT
um my back hurts cos a heavy file fell on my head 2 weeks ago. it still hurts...

why?

anyway i think i write more morbid sounding stuff when im tired, or mostly cos the exams are coming.

yes.

its bad. bad times (well not really) and bad dreams (plenty of those)

edit: my scanner is working again.. not sure how come. i used to try and access it by using the utility on my computer, but it didnt work. and then pressing the button didnt work. and now it works again. its good that it works again. so i wont complain too much. unless it stops working.. or maybe it was an outdated driver.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/22909179/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/22909179/ Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:27:21 PST
question: is this programme worth it?

Parallels Desktop 4.0 for Mac - it seems good.. got pretty ok reviews..and i already have the windows XP CD.. and it would save me the bother of rebooting over and over.. hmmmm....

anyway.. i am just sitting here wondering if it is ok to be sitting here in the middle of the night feeling sad for everything.

or maybe it is just time for me to go to sleep.

at night, i feel like i haven't seen or spoken to anyone for a very long time.

i need to stop listening to sad music.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/22669687/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/22669687/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 09:37:43 PST
sorry for not commenting on work and such.. even though i know you guys probably don't mind..

anyway, ive got some news..

my macbook has gone for repairs (finally) and for free (always good) because since my warranty had *just* expired, they kinda tweaked the date that i bought it and so yep, getting a new hard drive for free.

which leads to why im not feeling so good.

i didn't back up my stuff.. so ive lost it all.. so to speak. hopefully i can get someone who can get the data out of there for free.. (>.< wishful thinking.. but all my stuff is in there.. sentimental things like photos.. and my itunes.. >.< how am i going to replace all the music!?!?!

lots of it was borrowed off friends and things like that. so that's why im kinda sad.

and my anime!!!!!!!! >.< ALL THOSE EPISODES that need downloading AGAIN!

but.. ive been able to live without them for some time, so i think its time i started new again.. after all, i can always get my music together very slowly. and in a small matter like this, i shouldn't be fretting.

in other news, was ill during my exam period. i think i failed one of the papers. i hope i didn't fail all of them. i don't want to explain why i didn't see a doctor when i was ill to the dean.. or my tutor. >.< so at the moment despite the day being quite short, i feel rather drained and a bit sad.

oh well. things will turn out all right in the end. they could have been worse.

on a plus side, i have a reason to upgrade my computer to leopard OS ^^ but it will cost £80-90. still, at least i can attempt to reinstall everything and i have to go dig out my windows XP CD again (hope its around) so not all is lost.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/22407081/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/22407081/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 05:10:01 PST
it can't find its own hard drive.. so.. i can't use internet in halls unless i borrow someone's laptop for a bit. >.< which i prob won't do unless its really important.

so yeah. no nothing from me for a while.

*update*

since the college library is now open, i can use the coms (in the day ) at night is another problem. thank goodness my ipod is still working.

seems like i won't be able to get the thing fixed for a while, but i at least want to get my stuff out of the hard drive if i need to reinstall the OS.. dunno whether its gonna be difficult to do.

hope its not too big of a problem to fix.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/22314576/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/22314576/ Wed, 31 Dec 2008 20:13:39 PST
it would seem that i only dream (or remember them at any rate) when it is exam time.

it is annoying because then i become preoccupied with the dream, and end up.. not doing anything much.

4.12am. let's see if i can stay awake till tmr morning. just to see if i can. because i have never done it before and i just want to try.

starting to feel light headed and giddy. but i want to try and study a bit. not sure whether i will be able to remember or not.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/22278006/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/22278006/ Tue, 30 Dec 2008 10:59:09 PST Arete-Eirene-Phile and my posters purchased from ~rtil

that was jubilation.

calamity because the tube had gotten wet.. no doubt somehow due to the fiendish london weather.. and now my posters are stuck inside the tube. literally. and a good inch or two got ruined! :'( :'( :'(

i shall now endeavour to carefully cut them out. and try not to be too sad about the posters being ruined.

also. i should be studying for my exams. >.<

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/21935493/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/21935493/ Thu, 11 Dec 2008 17:30:45 PST
since i am brain dead at the moment, a winking rabbit is all i can come up with.

it was meant to be a dog but then i turned it into a rabbit.

but its cute.. right?

why doesnt dA have an exhausted mood icon?

i should be studying for my exams. will play with pixen during breaktimes.

hopefully i can come up with something way cooler and less girly than a rabbit. perhaps a rabid rabbit. ^_^

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/21830396/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/21830396/ Fri, 05 Dec 2008 12:04:53 PST 你的望远镜望不到我北半球的孤单。- 孤单北半球 (Gu Dan Bei Ban Qiu) - Ou De Yang

will practise when i have time. can't just stop doing what i like right? anyway, i have to get work done.. >.< coursework due in a few days... haha.

---

just can't. everything comes out ugly or half assed and i never like it.

it comes out boring and it's been done before and i can't ever think of anything i want to draw.

so..

sorry. i think most of the people watching me are probably wondering why they've watched me in the first place. hehe. well.. not most but some i suppose.

meh. it seems like there's too much to do. it feels like i've changed for the worse too. i used to be satisfied with certain grades. now if i get an A it's not enough.. why not A++?

such a silly thing to get worked up over. especially since these tests are only worth 5% of the whole module.

i sit down with paper in front of me and my pencils. i don't want to be able to draw anime/manga style. i'm beginning to resent it. ever so slightly.

if i don't practice.. where is my style going to develop from.

feel like i want to go crazy. maybe if i play bubble tank i will feel better. it's not the answer to my problems. i should just stop being a pig and get some work done. or be productive in some other way. like clean my room. or something.

i've never really been alone.. so what exactly does it feel like to be lonely? i don't want to know.

i need something to kick start myself again. oh well. this like all other down times is going to pass.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/21615679/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/21615679/ Sat, 22 Nov 2008 14:30:09 PST
i'll take fishbowl.

sometimes i feel like im drowning in my own head.

i live in a box. or a fishbowl..

walls that close in and waters that rise up, death by drowning or of suffocation. what a choice to have.

mentally anyway.

not like im really suffering am i?

it's just a little downtime. do goldfish get depressed?

i am like a fishbowl in a fishbowl in bigger fishbowls that are my building, my street, the town and then the country that i live in now. me, who came from another fishbowl in a fishbowl in a fishbowl. that's a lot of fishbowl's isnt it? lots of water and lots of restrictions. little bulbs of glass that you can see through but can't walk through. jumping is the only option.

and only if you can jump high enough.

i had help.

but sometimes jumping from fishbowl to fishbowl sure gets tiring.

do goldfish get depressed? humans can. i don't know if their brains are large enough for that sort of chemistry. does it matter? not really. i admit that i don't care much if goldfish get depression because they die so soon anyway that it hardly matters in that short expanse of time. not like i ill treat any goldfish. it's more like nobody knows if its possible. so we just give goldfish apparently comfortable lives, and if they are depressed.. well, we will never know right?

i live in a box in a cage in an empty room with a tile checkered floor which echoes with the sounds of nothing. something that sounds so pleasing and yet a little disconcerting. a little like standing in the middle of a big space and closing your eyes. pretty soon you feel like you are falling down into nothing and then the floor will catch you if you actually do.

i live in a cage with a box outside with a key inside the box that unlocks the door that is built into the cage.. the gaps between the bars are so wide i don't need a door but i can't walk out between them because something is keeping me in. and i don't know what the hell it is.

maybe tomorrow i will be able to walk out. it is most likely anyway. some days i can and some days i can't. it doesn't matter. i'll just sleep the day away if i can't do anything else. i seem to be so tired most of the time, so sleeping is actually a really good idea.

thought id just write my thoughts down because they would come out of my head anyway and if i were to talk to myself people would think that i was mad. so i might as well write them down here.

i want to draw but i can't somehow. its like there is a vague idea of something that wants to be put down on paper but i can't do it. well.. there was a little something but it was just a silly doodle which i still like despite it being a silly doodle.

im thinking of emtpy abandoned buildings. and i really love checkered tile floors. they fill up a space without even really being a clutter. and i like echoes and i like the wind. and i like looking at what people leave behind even though its sad. because everything has just been left behind and that nothing humans do really last. everything just falls apart if we don't do anything to keep them properly.

i'm thinking of empty ballrooms with dusty expensive chandeliers, which make slight tinkling noises in the wind that seems to always live there. the dust is so heavy that it barely moves. im thinking of abandoned silverware, tarnished black and reflective in certain places.

im thinking of sleeping despite having slept the whole day. my mind keeps gravitating to that idea. yet when im in bed i cant sleep. it takes forever because when im not doing anything im not being distracted from the pain im having from cramps. but it doesn't matter. think i will just take a pill and it will all go away. a pill that cheats the body into thinking that the pain isn't there.

hehe. thanks for reading. i originally thought of posting this as a deviation but then i had no ieda what to classify it as so here it is in my journal.

tomorrow will be a better day.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/21269120/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/21269120/ Sun, 02 Nov 2008 05:28:03 PST
i got the songs from jay chou's latest album, Capricorn/Mo Jie Zuo from my brother!

YAY YAY YAY!!!!

*edit* realized that there might be 2 versions of the CD. :'( *cries* im thinking of getting the one in the metal case with the jay chou playing cards! ^-^

and the rubiks cube, though i don't think i'll ever play with it.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/21018398/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/21018398/ Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:06:26 PDT
been drawing again.

will draw some more. soon.

which is good.

i don't think i can do art as a job. for me, art has to be a distraction from my job.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/20653768/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/20653768/ Wed, 24 Sep 2008 15:07:32 PDT
not really sure that it matters much to me. it seems like my arty side has gone into a deep freeze.

um. it kinda bothers me a bit.. but it can't be helped.

im sure things will be better once ive settled in to the rhythm of things.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/20522576/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/20522576/ Tue, 16 Sep 2008 14:12:45 PDT

debs.. if you read this, i think my sister has helped me send the chibi so keep checking your mail! <3

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/20369352/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/20369352/ Sun, 07 Sep 2008 05:55:35 PDT got me thinking when she asked me about chinese brush painting, and has inspired me (yet again) to do something.

i will be trying to make my first ever tutorial on something that i've learned ever since i was a child (but haven't practised much) i don't claim to be an expert, it's just that i thought it would be nice if i could tell others a little more about this art.

getting to the point, it will be a sort of introduction to the materials and very basics (techniques) of chinese brush painting. it's taken me very long to finally stop wishing i was something else and start going back to my roots.

chinese brush painting is very significant in my life because my poh poh (grandma) taught it to me when i was still in primary school. (she would often get upset when i told her that my paintings of bamboo and fish didn't manage to win anything in competitions) to be honest, i really don't think i am that good, and i feel that my skills have somewhat stayed the same. which is a real pity. i would to start taking all this up again.

anyway, that was how i spent quality time with my grandma.. otherwise i would be busy ignoring her. she had dementia and suffered from numerous strokes and heart attacks. in the end, that was how she died. thank God for this art that had kept me close to her. otherwise, i think i would regret the lack of her presence even more.

i can only paint 3 things properly with confidence that they don't end up looking like crap: bamboo, cherry blossoms and fish. poh poh made me practise painting the bamboo over and over again till i got it right. i think she was successful im rather glad that i learned this art from her, because my sister and brothers were not interested in this kind of art. how shameful it is if people who are not even chinese are more interested in my own culture than i am!

and for my craft acc: which has the same icon but different items in the gallery altogether: i am also trying out something new: painting shoes! i bought 3 pairs of black canvas shoes and painted one pair for my sister, one for my mum, and the last pair for my aunt. i used painted cherry blossoms on my sister's, identical phoenixes on my mum's, and a chinese boy and girl on my aunt's. maybe i will start painting shoes for other people too if there is demand.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/20053081/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/20053081/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 03:35:45 PDT
i will be leaving singapore and going to UK on the 27th of august. ill be starting uni some time in september! >.< BIG changes!

i'll be in london. hopefully i can meet fellow deviants there! ^-^

scary scary. >.<

yup, i am a little distracted. all of a sudden people want to see me before i leave. not sure if thats a good or bad thing, since we could've met up way before this.. =/

k end of entry since i don't have much else to say.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/19694767/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/19694767/ Thu, 31 Jul 2008 07:19:47 PDT
still trying to figure out why.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/18963907/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/18963907/ Wed, 23 Jul 2008 05:19:26 PDT
anyway.. nothing much is up. my arty side is pretty much dead for now.

might revive it later.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/18797684/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/18797684/ Thu, 12 Jun 2008 07:47:06 PDT
----

Prodigal by Casting Crowns. (song can be found here: [link])

Living on my own, thinking for myself
Castles in the sand, temporary wealth
Walls are falling down, storms are closing in
Tears have filled my eyes, here I am again

And I've held out as long as I can
Now I'm letting go and holding out my hand

Daddy, here I am again, will You take me back tonight
I went and made the world my friend and it left me high and dry
I drag Your name back through the mud
That you first found me in
Not worthy to be called Your son
Is this to be my end
Daddy, here I am
Here I am again

Curse this morning sun, drags me into one more day
Of reaping what I sown, of living with my shame
Welcome to my world, and the life that I have made
Where one day you're a prince, the next day you're a slave

-----

it once felt as if i never wanted the next day to come, but i wanted the day to end. which was impossible. still, what's been going on hasn't been that drastic. just a couple of realisations here and there. which is good. better than not thinking and running around blindly.

people around me keep telling me to think positive. my mum tells me not to be angry. they can say it, but it's not something that i can force to happen in an instant. =/

anyhow, that's just a little something to share with anyone who cares to take a look.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/18445033/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/18445033/ Thu, 22 May 2008 10:06:33 PDT
so.. yeah. i don't know why im so tired. must be all the late nights

good night.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/18287923/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/18287923/ Mon, 12 May 2008 11:28:29 PDT
looking back at the wishlists, the old journal entries.. the rants, the down times.. i have a lot to be thankful for. thankful for even the worst times in my life (and the bad to come.. to think about it) because well, life would be too different without them. and let's face it, a little bit of misery in our lives can be entertaining and comforting sometimes. haha. and also i as a real pig back then. come to think of it, theres a little bit of piggyness in us all isn't there? that still makes me a bit of a pig then... =/

i did manage to fulfill a wishlist, so that's a good thing.

as much as i am not too sure about it, i do think that my art is slowly getting better. ive also come to the realization that i should be happy with my art in whatever *stage* it is in. if it's a childish stage, then let it be. why not? after all, when i get older, i don't want to regret and say it was something i never got to try out even though i wanted to.

i suppose i could say that looking back, life has been going up and down just as it should, and maybe right now im feeling pretty content. who knows.. tomorrow maybe something will happen that will make me really pissed off? i don't care about all that. i don't have to know and i don't want to.

so..art wise i am working on something at the moment. lately ive realized that im starting to prefer drawing bigger things on bigger paper. im no longer really satisfied with small doodles. same goes for crafts. sort of anyway.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/18146809/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/18146809/ Sat, 03 May 2008 10:16:36 PDT
also to let you all know that im still alive. well.. just been forgetting bits of life.

i just cleaned up my bed and found some money in several different currencies.. british pound sterling, brunei dollar, new zealand dollar, and some US dollar as well as some singapore dollar. that's a lot. that's what i get for not cleaning up my bed for ages. (cos my bed is next to the wall so i just throw lots of my stuff there and sometimes it gets forgotten)

now my bed and table and bag are cleaner and slightly more dust free, i feel a little accomplished. especially since ive found various important things (besides the money) like the camera battery charger, the camera and the card reader. i am part slob, part neat freak. sheesh.

been doing crafts more so than drawings.. but am recently inspired by d. gray-man for this drawing i am working on now.

er.. i need to try and be more hardworking in an arty way.. seriously. also since i have a newish scanner/printer thing.. gotta get cracking!

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/17100372/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/17100372/ Thu, 28 Feb 2008 09:37:28 PST

Rules:

1. Post these rules
2. Each tagged person should post 8 random facts of ones self
3. The tagged should write a journal\blog about these facts
4. In the end, tag and name 8 people
5. Go to their dA pages and comment saying that they are tagged and hugged!!
6. Don't come back and tag me, and if you try to hug me i will slice you into shreds with a piece of paper!

1. i've had this one cushion pillow thing since i was 5, and i used to refuse to let anyone wash it (well its clean NOW of course )

2. i play maplestory. when i used to be addicted i could play for up to 12 hours in a row.

3. at the moment, my height is 5 feet exactly and i don't think that's going to change. short and fat! >.<''

4. my birthday is on Singapore's independence day. (so always a public holiday! ^_^)

5. i'm a christian who needs to get my life organised.

6. i enjoy torturing and killing bugs very very slowly.

7. i keep above mentioned dead bugs in glass bottles

8. my first pet was a grasshopper and i cried when it died.

i refuse to tag anyone because most of my friends have done this already. SO THERE.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/17006888/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/17006888/ Fri, 22 Feb 2008 10:09:34 PST

1) Answer the questions below:
2) Take each answer and type it into dA search box
3) Take a deviation from the first page of results (may use ' popular' or 'newest' ) and post thumb (for subscribers) or link (non-subscribers)
4) You can't copy the persons answers who posted this before you


1. The age you will be on your next birthday -
[link]

2. A place you'd like to travel -
[link]

3. Your favorite place -
[link]

4. Your favorite object -
[link] and [link]

5. Favorite food -
[link]

6. Your favorite animal -
[link]

7. Your favorite color -
[link]

8. The town/state/etc in which you live -
[link]

9. Name of past pet -
[link] (but he was a grasshopper not a rabbit)

10. A dream come true -
[link]

11. Your nickname/screenname -
[link] (den2)

12. Middle name -
[link]

13. Favorite Smell -
[link]

14. Bad habit of yours -
[link]

15. Your first job -
[link]

16. Favourite Movie -
[link]

17. What are you doing right now? -
[link]

18. Whats The Weather Like? -
[link]

19. Favourite Sport -
[link]

20. Favourite Music/Style/Band -
[link]

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/16619372/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/16619372/ Mon, 28 Jan 2008 19:57:21 PST
A.M.L city

its from My Mini City.com and apparently all you need to do is to click the link to my city, A.M.L. city. (if you want to know, it stands for aston martin lagonda but only cos i couldn't think of anything better)

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/16412283/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/16412283/ Tue, 15 Jan 2008 03:32:44 PST


1 . YOUR REAL NAME (english):
Denise

2 . YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Denizzle (WTF!)

3 . YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
Black dog

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Engde (my surname only HAS 3 letters!)

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink)
Blue coke

6. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name)
Egelseeng (doesnt sound iraqi to me)

7.YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (both parents middle name)
parents dont have middle names.

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Vi Vi

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/16329107/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/16329107/ Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:14:01 PST
anyway been so tired lately.. i am wide awake at night.. i sleep at 6 in the morning because i cannot sleep at night. i sleep for hours with stupid dreams i cannot remember and wake up feeling like i just want to sleep again. maybe my body thinks that sleep is a waste of time, but ive heard that you can die due to the lack of sleep.. so i'll sleep soon.

anyway ive lots of things to submit in terms of drawings and shit, but honestly these days i can't be bothered because one, im a lazy bum, two, when one has a lot of free time as i do, i put things off very very often. three.. well, im hooked on Bleach anime at the moment (because ive wanted to watch all these shows since the beginning of 2006, but been very good and not watched them until now)

time passes too slowly. i find myself with time and more time and i want to have things to do but i guess ive just been wandering around only doing what im told. time i got a freaking mind of my own. well.. i do have one. its just asleep.

oh yeah, an ACE drawing in the works. im working on it bit by bit. so.. one day you'll see it unless the world has ended by then..

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/15614926/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/15614926/ Thu, 22 Nov 2007 04:01:30 PST

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/13379890/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/13379890/ Sun, 17 Jun 2007 10:49:57 PDT
perhaps im just making a fuss out of nothing. im not willing to take sleeping pills.. because i hate taking pills and secondly i dont want to become dependent on them.. stuff that can potentially go wrong.. always seems to happen to me. no idea why.

anyway, ive been busy making stuff and posting it at my other account ~xian-atedstuff some interesting stuff up there now, posting 2 a day. go and take a look if you haven't already! im pretty happy with the outcome. i'll also be posting some old stuff that i did some time ago.

im trying to continue with the drawing thing.. the snow leopard is half done.. well half of the head anyway. and i did a doodle of some crazy flea alien dunno what thing. so its not really worth posting but he looks quite cool.

watched Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer. i like the board.. i mean DUUUUUDEEEE the board is shiny! i like! lol.. anyway it was a pretty cool movie. shrek 3 was disappointing.. -.- yuck.

how the hell can you sleep when your sister (who you share a room with is BUSY ON THE PHONE and talking.) solution: turn up music. make sure the song playing is one that she doesnt particularly like. turn it up until you can't hear her talking. then try to sleep. leave the music on so SHE can't sleep.

oh yeah, i also updated my dog's dA gallery. ~Cookie-Doh its in dire need of updating and i'll do so when i can get more nice shots of my dog worth posting.

my computer is getting cranky. i cant use my tablet on it because when i do, it will just turn itself off and there goes all my hard work. which is annoying. thats why theres no digital art from me at the moment. im annoyed! but that just means i have to practice with the mouse more. its not as if i can't live without a tablet.

oh i do ramble on don't i? i hate being awake at night when im exhausted. my mind rushing ahead at 100mph while my body is being dragged across the rocks. right. im going to end here and try to get some sleep.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/12884793/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/12884793/ Tue, 08 May 2007 06:51:56 PDT Arete-Eirene-Phile

Leave a comment and I'll give you a letter;
Then you have to list 10 things you like starting with that letter.
Post them in your journal and give out new letters to your commenters in turn.

my letter is D.

1. Dog (cookie)
2. Dough (money)
3. DeviantArt
4. Drawing
5. Daydreaming
6. DB9 (aston martin) sorry, HAD to find some way to squeeze that one in.
7. Dark chocolate
8. Diamonds ^^
9. Doritos chips
10. Dozing

ehehehee. ok. done.

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/12316328/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/12316328/ Sat, 24 Mar 2007 22:46:27 PDT

sigh. i have to study for a test. im going to after this, but meanwhile i'll keep putting it off. if i didnt have to study, id be doing art all day long. though, might not earn me much.

here is the wishlist, something that im writing up for no reason at all besides putting off studying. bleah.

- more of those blank paper masks that i got from venice. i have a few but still when they run out. argh..
- silver poster paint
- black colour pencils
- sketchbooks
- coloured markers
- beading wire
- beads!
- more bead books showing you how to make all those neat things
- chinese calligraphy ink
- polymer clay
- earring hooks (can never have enough)
- clear spray paint or some sort of varnish that can be sprayed on
- big bottles of acrylic paint

ok im saving up so ill eventually get hold of the stuff i want lol..

yeah! i added a picture to my journal header! but how do i get it to the middle? i know im stupid sorry i cant help it.

Edit: ok i got the code wrong, thats why. anyway its centred now!

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/12049782/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/12049782/ Sun, 04 Mar 2007 06:13:36 PST Escape the Room when i chanced upon this game thats not really a game, but more so a presentation of art. its beautiful in its own way. take a peek. its sort of point and click, where you find your way through the *99 rooms* by clicking on whatever it is that will allow you to proceed to the next room. have fun! 99 rooms

on side note.. am sick but recovering. anyone want to recommend cold remedies? lets write a book full here!

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/11795097/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/11795097/ Tue, 13 Feb 2007 06:37:39 PST
when i was younger i used to dream up all sorts of ideas to do things, like scientific experiments and stuff, but now ive abandoned all those ideas...

what happened???

well, after learning more about sciences (bio n chem) i realised that alot of these things that i dreamt up were impossible. yet when i was small, everything seemed possible. and now.

i don't know, but it seems to me that the older you grow, the number of possibilities that you dream up becomes smaller and smaller because as you learn more, more seems impossible and the stuff that you dreamt up as a child would seem silly and pointless.

is that why grown ups cannot understand what the children are thinking about? sometimes children (er not including me i think) know more than we think they actually do..

in some ways, children are so much smarter...

what do you think?

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/11719209/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/11719209/ Wed, 07 Feb 2007 07:05:18 PST
my life is studying. studying. studying. shit. tired. late hours.. being stupid. having too much pride. it all adds up. though if i concentrate more on studying i find that i have no time to be stupid, tired or proud. to a certain extent anyway.

i want an aston martin... in my dreams. apparently there is a new model coming out.. but if not, either the DB9 Volante or V8 Vantage Roadster would do. guys seem to prefer the lambourghini, but i think the aston martin style is more feminine. with the exception of the Vanquish S anyway.. which looks a tad more masculine.

i want to be left alone. i hate a different person every day or week or month. (ok dont worry if ur on dA its definitely not you) what's wrong with the colour black? and whats with smiling? why do i have to be happy all the time?

you know what being happy all the time is? its called OBSCENELY happy. thats right. obscene.

shit.

i told you (ok maybe not). dull sameness. study, sleep, rant, die. in no particular order during the day. and my internet connection sucks. i have both LAN and w/less but both keep cutting off. very funny.

yeah. stupid me writing about how stupid my life is when it sucks even more for everyone else. ok im going back to studying.

i know the emoticon says depressed.. but im not. its just that the emoticon itself is how i feel. someone tries to be nice and hug me (erm i dont like real hugs btw) and ill push them away. then they are all hyper or all happy. and i dont like that. as i said... obscenely happy! >< but then when i push away, i feel sad after that... rather contrite.. so to speak anyway. i cant tell you everything.

shit. the pretense has to stop! the whole damn school is pretending! and they still complain that its hard to be yourself. just be yourself then! idiots. its bloody common sense isnt it?

yes. monotony. what was i saying? dark is nice, rain is nice, windy is nice. sunny and windy is nice. dark and warm is nice. i should be doing work now is nice. please no hugs is nice too.

late hours again. but it seems that the work im putting in has some form of good results. good. it should be that way.

loves to you all of my friends on dA.

wonder if you enjoy black and dark and warm like i do?

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/11289815/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/11289815/ Tue, 02 Jan 2007 14:51:34 PST
anyway

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_________________³§³

send this heart to everyone you care about including me if you care. See how many times you get this, if you get a dozen your loved and if you don't get any it doesnt matter because your loved anyway

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/11284785/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/11284785/ Tue, 02 Jan 2007 07:12:18 PST
i do apologise i did say that i wouldn't give you any details. and its not very often that i write like this in my journal nowadays.

grey days turn into black nights. and when the people around you start to turn into ugly shapes in the middle of the night, wouldn't you get scared too?

i wanted to write a poem.. except i couldn't write one because i didn't have any inspiration. ah well. thats what journals are for.

oh yes. school is starting for me tomorrow. so.. i'll see you all around dA. love you guys!

]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/8946713/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/8946713/ Fri, 02 Jun 2006 03:12:25 PDT no

2. Do you hate more than 3 people?
hate is a strong word. i dislike alot of people

3. How many houses have you lived in?
three i think

4. What is your favorite candy bar?
anything with chocolate, caramel and crispies in them

5. What are your favorite shoes?
high tec hiking boots because they are soo cool!

6. Have you ever tripped someone?
my dog

7. What was your least favorite subject this year?
i like all my subjects

8. What was your favorite subject this year?
biology and chemistry

9. Do you own a Britney Spears CD?
no

10. Have you ever thrown up in public?
no

11. Name something that's always on your mind.
how i look. cos im vain

12. What is your favorite music genre?
whatever sounds nice

13. What is your sign?
leo

14. What time were you born?
9th aug 1989

15. Do you like beer?
dont drink

16. Have you ever made a prank call?
no

17. What is the most embarrassing CD you own?
well.. i dunno

18. Are you sarcastic?
yes

19. What is your favorite color?
blue, black, silver, green

20. How many watches do you own?
one

21. Summer or winter?
winter

22. Spring or fall?
fall

23. What is your favorite color to wear?
Black

24. Pepsi or Sprite?
pepsi

25. What color is your cell phone?
black and silvery grey

26. Where is your second home?
school

27. Have you ever slapped someone?
yes

28. Have you ever had a cavity?
no

29. How many lamps are in your bedroom?
two

where is 30?!
after 29 and before 31. it went for lunch

31. What was your first pet?
grasshopper

32. Have you ever had braces?
No

33. Do looks matter?
yes sometimes

34. Do you use Chapstick?
no

35. Name 3 teachers from your high school.
ms susan ng
ms vivienne loh
mr bruno

36. American Eagle or Abercrombie?
abercrombie


38. How many children do you want?
two maybe a boy n a girl. twins is also good

39. Do you own something from Hot Topic?
no

40. What is your favorite breakfast?
cranberry cereal wif plain milk

41. Do you own a gun?
no.i do own a bow n arrow and yes i do know how to use it

42. Have you ever thought you were in love?
no just a crush

43. When was the last time u cried?
yesterday

44. What did you do 3 nights ago?
watched da vinci code

45. When was the last time you went to Olive Garden?
never

46. Have you ever called your teacher mom?
no

47. Have you ever been in a castle?
yes

48. What are your nicknames?
den, den den.

49. Do you know anyone named Bertha?
the skeleton in the biology lab

50. Have you ever been to Kentucky?
KFC yes others no

51. Do you own something from Banana Republic?
no

52.are you thinking of someone right now?
always

53. Have you ever called someone Boo?
no

54. Do you smoke?
no

55. Do you own a diamond ring?
will inherit one but not right now

56. Are you happy with your life right now?
no

57. Do you dye your hair?
no

58. Does anyone like you?
so im told

59. What year were you born?
1989

60. What were you doing May of 1994?
cant be botherd to answer this

62. McDonald's or Wendy's?
mcs cos singapore has no wendys

63. Do you like yourself?
sometimes

64. Are you closer to your mother or father?
neither.

65. Favorite feature of the opposite sex.?
personality and looks

66. Are you afraid of the dark?
yes

67. Have you ever eaten paste?
no

68. Have you ever stripped?
no

69. Where did 61 go?
went for lunch with 30 ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/8435144/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/8435144/ Tue, 11 Apr 2006 06:02:09 PDT
hot tea/coffee/chocolate
smell of lemon/lime/orange/citrus
melted chocolate(ur fave kind)
wind blowing the leaves
watching leaves fall when the wind blows
smell of freshly washed towels
warm bed
listening to the rain fall
smelling the rain (if you can smell it cos i can)
playing with pets
watching cars go by
a short walk listening to favourite music
waking up early in the morning on a holiday and listening to the world wake up.
chatting to old friends
waking up late at night when you know its a holiday the next day
observing how many colours there are in a single leaf.
watching shadows in the car when driving at night (passengers only)
fine sand between toes
smell of new money (im sreious its a nice smell)
the light bouncing off crystals
shiny crystals/glitter/sequins/stones
watching bubbles pop on the surface of soda.
sound of wind chimes.
watching bubbles float in the air i love how dreamy it looks.
listening to a heartbeat

combos:
lying down early in the morning on a holiday morning with the light rain falling and a breeze that makes the wind chimes shake so slightly that a small sound is produced, with the light bouncing off shiny stuff in the room onto the ceiling with your pet next to you (dog or cat cos i dont think hamsters n stuff are possible) with faint music playing in the background and bubbles floating outside the window

at night ur driving with ur fave music playing/ the shadows playing on the dashboard and the windows down and the wind coming into the windows and the smell of lemon polish or whatever it is you use to either polish wood panelling or leather seats in ur car haha..

make ur own combos. have a nice day. ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/8213965/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/8213965/ Mon, 20 Mar 2006 06:25:07 PST
001. What is your name? Eng Wen Lin Denise Elizabeth
002. Spell your name backwards. htebazile enised nil new gne
003. Date of birth: 9th Agust 1989
004. Male or female? female
05. Astrological sign: Leo
006. Nicknames: Den, Den Den
007. Occupation? Student and full time teenager
008. Height: 1.53m
009. Weight: too heavy… 51
010. Hair color: black
011. Eye colour: brown
012. Where were you born? singapore
013. Where do you reside now? singapore
014. Age: 16
015. Screen names: silvanix, silvanorb, astucieux_spirituel (or asp)
016. E-mail: snowpupsie@hot/gmail.com
017. What does your screen name stand for? silvan (as in elf) ix (suffix like asterix and obelix and geriatrix u get the idea) astucieux_spirituel (i think its french i can't remember. something to do with very clever)
018. What is your LJ name? I don’t have an LJ
019. What does your diary name stand for? -NA-
020. Pets: 1 maltese 1 goldfish 2 terrapins 3 turtles a monkey and pig (my brothers. one thin one fat)
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake? no cake
022. Piercings? My ears
023. Tattoos? none
024. Shoe size: nike size 9
025. Righty or lefty? righty
026. Wearing: jeans and t-shirt
027. Hearing: my typing, air conditioner and my dog
028. Feeling: a bit Kan Chiong cos im trying to see how fast i can finish this
029. Eating/drinking: just had dinner of beef, veggies and potato

~Friends Stuff~

Which one of your friends is the....
030. Biggest penis?: i don't know
031. Loudest? Azulina
032. Nicest? they are all nice
033. Bitchiest? i do not have bitchy friends
034. Life of the party? we don't party
035. Jock? no jocks. we're all girls
036. Prep? yeah that would be me.
037. Rebel? we are all very Guai (good, obedient) jk! haha we all are in our own way
038. Cutest? AYAH! we are ALL cute. cannot tell? ^^
039. Best friend of the same sex? Jia Lin. we have been friends for 13 years. i don't have many real friends. so what i have.. they are all precious.
040. Best friend of the opposite sex? don't have one
041. Most popular? we all are popular amongst each other HAHA! no.. popularity is not important
042. Rudest? haha all rude *la*
043. Most shy? we all are sometimes.. no.. i think thats me though some of my friends might disagree
044. Dumbest? hm i think me. the most SOTONG and BLUR one.. haha always losing stuff
045. Smartest? we are all smart. thats why we come from good schools. bottom 3% in a top school just means top 25% of singapore according to my dad. so there
046. Weirdest? we are ALL weird...
047. Has the best hair? erm. we all have nice hair
049. Most talented? we are all talented
050. Most ghetto? erm. none.
051. Most spoiled? me. i have a chauffeur
052. Drama queen? Azulina again. though its in a good way
053. Pain in the ass? erm. i am easily annoyed. but nobody is THAT bad.
054. Funniest? Everyone is funny
055. Best advice giver? Merlisa, thanks. *the chuan dao the qiao tou jiu hui zi ran zhi.* let that be our mantra
056. Druggie? none.
057. Most likely to join a cult? none.
058. Have you lost touch with a good friend recently? no
059. Person you've been friends with the longest? Jia Lin. friends for 13 years out of 16 so far. that my friends is an ACCOMPLISHMENT!
060. How many friends do you have on your buddy list? erm.. which buddy list? my maple buddy list is full 20/20 haha. and MSN.. more than a hundred..

~Guys/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff~

061. Have you ever been in love? its not love. just crushes.
062. How many people have you told "I love you"? my family and my best friends
063. How many people have you been in love with? none. always get over those crushes
064. How many people have you kissed? Excluding family? none.
065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? no
066. How many people have you dated? none. i have no life.
067. What do you look for in a guy/girl? Christian, good looking, (rich is good. haha), good sense of humour, intelligent (like me) and caring. oh, and MUST love dogs
068. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes and smile
069. What type of guy/girl do you usually go for? Refer to question 67#
070. Do you have a bf/gf? no.
071. If so where did you meet them? -NA-
072. What do you like most about your bf/gf? -NA-
073. Do you have a crush right now? what's it to you. haha of course *la*
074. If so who is it? Wouldn’t you like to know
075. Do you believe in love at first sight? It takes more than first sight to fall in love with so... ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/8128720/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/8128720/ Sat, 11 Mar 2006 08:07:04 PST
[X] A cell phone
[ ] a hair straightener
[X] your own computer
[ ] your own car
[ ] good grades (by no means )
total: 2

[ ] chanel/dior sunglasses/glasses/gucci/coach
[ ] burberry purse
[ ] A boyfriend/girlfriend
[ ] a curling iron
total: 0

[ ] every fall out boy cd
[ ] something from american eagle
[ ] something from abercrombie
[ ] something from hot topic
[X] a pet
total: 0

[X] some type of trophy/award
[ ] Full/Queen size bed
[ ] King size bed
[X] a mini iPod or video or regular (I have an iRiver)
[ ] a jersey from a professional team
total: 2

[ ] more than $100
[X] a radio/cd player
[ ] Monster,Full Throttle,Amp,Etc. In Your Fridge
[X] something related to Green Day
[ ] xanga
total: 2

[ ] myspace
[X] make-up
[X] a desk in your room
[ ] a hill in your backyard
[ ] DDR
total: 2

[ ] a pair of skis
[ ] alarm clock
[ ] a pair of ice skates
[ ] rollerblades
[ ] treadmill
total: 0

[ ] your own phone line (not including cell phone)
[ ] AIM
[ ] Yahoo!
[X] MSN
[ ] ICQ
total: 1

[ ] perfume/cologne
[ ] bath and body works lotion
[X] necklaces & bracelets
[X] a journal
[X] toothbrush
total: 3

[X] yogurt & peaches in your fridge
[ ] x's in your screename
[ ] a birthday in january
[X] a famous relative
[X] a relative that lives in a different state AND country
total: 3

[ ] a disowned relative
[ ] an electric scooter
[ ] your own bathroom
[ ] your own band
[ ] any rock band shirts
total: 0

[ ] gamecube
[ ] a guitar
[ ] a hammock
[ ] a basketball hoop
[ ] a soccer net
total: 0

[X] a bike
[ ] a mini van
[ ] a relative that lives in Florida
[ ] a vc andrews book
[ ] a friend who does alcohol/drugs/smokes
total: 1

[ ] bad grades
[ ] locker at skool
[ ] a baby
[ ] a pet chimpanzee
[ ] sparkly blue nail polish
total: 0

[ ] a "vote for pedro" tshirt/hoody
[ ] the movie "the 40 year old virgin"
[ ] a promise ring
[ ] a pool table
[ ] swimming pool
total: 0

[ ] Trampoline
[ ] livejournal
[X] flip flops
[ ] steve madden shoes
[ ] the sims 2
total: 1

[ ] a ping pong table
[ ] air hockey table
[X] a basement
[X] converses
[ ] construction paper
total: 2

[X] markers, crayons, etc..
[X] coloring books
[ ] a nice singing voice
[ ] XBOX
[ ] PS2
[ ] PSP
[ ] DS
total: 2

[ ] some type of disease
[ ] rose red movie
[ ] wife beaters
[X] VCR/DVD
[X] a mom or a dad
total: 2

[X] an older sister(s)
[X] a younger brother
[ ] a younger sister
[ ] a sled
[ ] a lake/pond/creek near my house (does the beach count)
[X] friends who u love
total: 3

haha! 26! i am not spoilt! though actually.. i am. haha. really. this quiz is not accurate. ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/8109245/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/8109245/ Thu, 09 Mar 2006 04:38:23 PST First Best Friend: Jia Lin. we've been friends for 13 years!
First Imaginary Friend: don't have one, don't need one.
First Pet dog name: Bambi
First Piercing: My ears
First Crush: somebody. and i ain't telling!
First CD: backstreet boys
First Car: when i get one? perhaps a porsche? or a landrover haha
First School: Nanyang Kindergarden
First Kiss: not yet

-------------------------------------------

9 Lasts...

Last Time You Smoked: never have!!
Last Food You Ate: chicken curry and egg prata
Last Car Ride: home from the MRT station (taxi)
Last Movie You Watched: the way home (in school)
Last Phone Call: to home to tell my maid that i was on my way back
Last CD You listened to: Cao Cao by JJ Lin (Lin Jun Jie)
Last Bubble Bath You took: when i was 10. i am now 16.
Last Song You listened to: Liu Xing Zhu Jiao by JJ Lin! ^^
Last Fight: some time ago.. i hit my sister very hard

------------------------------------------

8 Have You Ever...

Have You Ever Dated a Best Friend: haven't dated anyone
Have You Ever Been Arrested: no
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: no
Have You Ever Been on TV: sadly no.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone and Regretted It: my dog. he has fish breath
Have You Ever Cheated on Your bf/gf: no. don't have one. haha
Have You Ever Been on a Blind Date: no
Have You Ever Been out of the Country: been traveling since i was 1 year old

------------------------------------------

7 Things You are Wearing...

- 4/14 class tee
- Nanyang school skirt (it has 16 pleats! while most school skirts in singapore only have 12)
- Nanyang PE shorts
- hairband
- undies
- bra
- lots of dirt. came back from school just now

--------------------------------------

6 Things You've Done Today...

- went to school and made some more friends
- played a whole load of games involving water
- cheering at school
- fell asleep during very long talks
- complained that the school cut short our lunch break to 15 minutes!
- drawing stuff on my shoes

-------------------------------------

5 Favorite Things (no specific order)...

- my dog
- my pillow
- my laptop
- my iPod
- my friends (does that count?)

----------------------------------------

4 People You Most Trust (no specific order)...

- God
- my family
- my OLD OLD LONG TERM friends
- my dog. my dog is human. so there!


-----------------------------------------

3 Choices...

- Vanilla or Chocolate: vanilla
- Hugs or Kisses: hugs. long ones.
- Pens or Pencils: pens. cos pencils u can erase (messy!!!). and pencils don't come in 0.28 and 0.38 thickness.

--------------------------------------------

2 Things You Want to do Before You Die...

- to have lived a life worth living, a life that people will talk about years after i am gone. and one that i am satisfied with
- to have travelled around the world.. to be a citizen of the world. (which includes being multi-lingual and rich)

---------------------------------------------

1 Person You Want to see
- my grandad (but i'll meet him later in heaven when i pass on like.. erm 80 years later? haha)
- this cute guy.. haha. i am not telling who..

---------------------------------------------
5 People Who Should Put This In Their Journal

- anybody
- anybody
- anybody
- anybody
- anybody

really. i cant be bothered. ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/8090513/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/8090513/ Tue, 07 Mar 2006 05:35:54 PST
also i want to say a BIG sorry to seaf20. i know you sent me a note saying you had something to say.. i sent u an email but did not get a reply.. not sure why. my internet is on the fritz lately. and computer is lagging terribly. pls forgive me alright.

thinking about changing schools, and having to make friends all over again... and getting used to a new school system, and feeling mediocre again. i don't feel very good. always so lethargic. i never nap in the afternoons yet i have trouble sleeping. anyone with sound advice please tell me what to do. i have a sinking feeling.. this perpetual feeling of falling into a deep bog, my mind is always buzzing with so many things, stuff that i should not be thinking about.. like how other people see me, and how cute certain guys are (haha) and i have lost faith in myself. i made myself a promise, i want to keep that. its getting more and more difficult. i seem to have lost my resolve. even now i am trying to withdraw from my friends in the school i am leaving, because thinking about them will affect my studies, and i will never do well. i bummed out at two major exams. i don't want it to happen a third time.

feeling giddy and sad. sad for myself.. its like a sneeze or a yawn which doesn't want to come out. this repressed feeling. i find it difficult to feel happy or sad. just very angry all the time. attributing these to hormones. but for how much longer? i am almost 17. 3 more years before i hit 20. i should stop being a hormone driven teen already.

i am sure u are feeling depressed just by reading this journal. if u have read thus far, a big hug for u. but it's gonna be a listless one. don't have much energy left for anything nowadays. seems i spent it all on the first 3 months of 2006. somebody tell me if i am suffering a burnout. please. i don't know what to do anymore. some time ago i tried taking tablets.. i took about 10 panadol tablets.. its not a very strong drug.. but i don't use panadol at all. not even when i have a headache. nothing happened. duh. im still here. anyway that was very selfish of me. so i will not try to contemplate anything of the sort. anyway suicide is a sin.

i also haven't been praying as much as i should. i can't use forgetfulness as an excuse. thats what i always tell myself. but why doesn't it work? all my resolve and discipline has gone. im so tired!! i don't get it. my parents work harder than me.. they should be more tired than i am!! i am beginning to slouch.. can't seem to stand up straight anymore. like i've lost my pride or something. maybe im turning into a pig.

cheerfulness annoys me. i don't know what to do!! i know i need help.. but from where and who? i can't turn to my mother.. she'll just come up with problems that she has.. and its true; her problems are worse than mine.

it seems i have faith for everyine except myself. and even now i don't have much to give anymore.

i can't help but worry alot. worry about my future.. worry about everything. though the Bible says not to worry... i have to try.. i've stopped thinking about others. like all my energy is concentrated on keeping my sane and alive.. in a sense.. i need some light to see things better.

i don't know what to do for tomorrow. i am lucky that i have friends who support me in times like these. they try so hard to keep me upright. and for that i thank God i have them.

thanks for reading this long "essay". i will go shower and watch one episode of Batman the animated series (CAN NEVER MISS THAT NO MATTER HOW BAD I FEEL) and go to sleep. i feel so tired but i can't sleep.. and i feel like im sinking and can't get out. someone help. please? ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/7616796/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/7616796/ Mon, 16 Jan 2006 03:51:09 PST Eng Wen Lin Denise Elizabeth
is a Deviant of Many Talents
is Female
is a deviant since Jul 4, 2005, 5:52 PM
has 3,000 pageviews
is located in Singapore
is online
is currently
is an MSN Messenger user; snowpupsie@hotmail.com

i was actually HERE for the 3000 instead of a few pageviews later. lol... ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/7570254/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/7570254/ Wed, 11 Jan 2006 02:37:07 PST i'll just finish replying comments. when i have more time.. im going to start to remove deviations from my gallery, so it would be nice if u told me what was nice, and what isn't, and those will go to scraps. i may also stop posting works.. or not post them as often. i don't have the time.. especially sicne school ends later and later these days.. well, i will have some time from 11th to 17th jan.. but then.. after that, i won't have so much time. ehhs.. no more rambling. cya round guys. ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/7560584/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/7560584/ Tue, 10 Jan 2006 03:03:35 PST ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/7430279/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/7430279/ Tue, 27 Dec 2005 10:27:30 PST [link]

click on the colours in desired order. then follow instructions

Your Existing Situation

Non-realization of hopes and the inability to decide on necessary remedial action has resulted in considerable stress.

Your Stress Sources

Sensitive, and susceptible to gentleness and delicacy of feeling, with a desire to blend into some sort of mystic fusion of erotic harmony. However, this desire remains unsatisfied due to the lack of a suitable partner or adverse conditions, and she keeps a strict and watchful control on her emotional relationships as she needs to know precisely where she stands. Is fastidious, esthetic, and has a cultured taste which allows her to form and express her own taste and judgment, especially in the fields of art and artistic creativity. Strives to ally with others who can assist her in her intellectual or artistic growth.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Circumstances are restrictive and hampering, forcing her to forgo all joys and pleasures for the time being.
Wants to broaden her fields of activity and insists that her hopes and ideas are realistic. Distressed by the fear that she may be prevented from doing what she wants; needs both peaceful conditions and quiet reassurance to restore her confidence.

Your Desired Objective

Needs a peaceful environment. Wants release from stress, and freedom from conflicts or disagreement. Takes pains to control the situation and its problems by proceeding cautiously. Has sensitivity of feeling and a fine eye for detail.

Your Actual Problem

Needs to protect herself against her tendency to be too trusting, as she finds it is liable to be misunderstood or exploited by others. Is therefore seeking a relationship providing peaceful and understanding intimacy, and in which each knows exactly where the other stands.

Your Actual Problem #2

Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem. ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/7413411/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/7413411/ Sun, 25 Dec 2005 12:08:54 PST
sitting here on my fat arse feeling shitty and sorry for myself.

i hate the way i am compared to other people who i will never be like. i hate the way i look at everybody's works of art, and think to myself that i do shit. i also hate the way that i am totally unable to express myself properly. i hate the way i think about matters which are unimportant like having no internet when other people are living without it and are still happy. i hate the way i don't feel anything and repeatedly automatically suppress any feelings. i hate the way i am always trying to be someone else.. copying and never having anything original. i hate the way i hate people for being who they are. i hate the way everything seems to anoy me and i hate the way my mother spoils my brother and i can't just stand there and see him fail his exams but i also have to let him learn. i ate how some people like myself can be so stubborn. i hate the days when i have no willpower. i hate myself for complaining about everything when i have nothing to really complain about.

everything is so bloody confusing and now i will sit here and rot while thinking this out. by the time i have thought things through i would have rotted into nothing. ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/7412654/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/7412654/ Sun, 25 Dec 2005 10:47:13 PST
got off a 12 hour flight and had to go straight to dinner. early church service the next day plus family lunch. very tired.

i have too many ACE devs to upload. i was doing an xmas special but at the rate im going, perhaps it will be for next year. and maybe i don;t give a shit if its xmas or not, ill just post them xmas devs and whatnot. like ACE doesnt give a shit either.

have to unpack, deal with next years plans for JC cos must sort out schedules. books and stuff like that. its SICK i tell u its SICK! -_-

am considering doing a contest... ACE comic ideas or whatever i haven't really thought it out yet. but i have the prize. pop up card of ACE inside. erm its not a very good pop up. plus there is writing inside the card, so it has been tipp ex'ed out. not worth much is it?? well im gonna be making more (i hope) and if u have any ideas for a contest lemme know and i will be eternally thankful. ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6922518/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6922518/ Thu, 03 Nov 2005 05:56:53 PST

i can't possibly show every single deviation of my beloved singapore.. but i sure hope that you will look through one or two of these.. maybe come to singapore when you have time and see it for yourself. as i always say, hearing about something one hundred times is not as good as seeing it for yourself. ^^ 百闻不如一见 which is the same thing.

and yeah... as the list grows.. i know nobody has so much time to look though all of them, but if you could choose one and view that, i'd be happy. ^^

[link] buses ^^
[link] high rise buildings
[link] MRT or mass rapid transit
[link] singapore skyline
[link] how singapore is a garden city
[link] the esplanade
[link] singapore art museum
[link] singapore river
[link] singapore riverfront
[link] singapore at night
[link] singapore river front (fullerton)
[link] another river front view
[link] river front(again) but its such a fab view, no wonder so many people take pictures of it!
[link] river front (fullerton up close) all lit up! ^^
[link] singapore river (different view) at night
[link] singapore river night view again
[link] sentosa at night
[link] an orchid
[link] riverside shot (random) but very interesting!
[link] esplandade. pretty! ^^
[link] somewhere.. not sure where
[link] lots of bicycles but again.. not sure where
[link] aha! this i know where! MRT station! ^^
[link] and for the life of me i can't remember the name..
[link] a street scene. i just love this one! ^^ oh yeah its chinatown by the way. ^^
[link] strangest one i've seen but verry interesting!
[link] residential area and a wide open field. wonderful..
[link] a church (chijmes). ^^ its beautiful!
[link] a graffiti board. very nice! read the description! ^^
[link] night view of MICA building. very colourful!
[link] chinatown decorations. ^^
[link] night scene. check out this deviant's series!
[link] purvis street
[link] esplanade (again) nice perspective on this one!
[link] singapore river with nice boats on it. ^^
[link] a mixture of... ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6911823/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6911823/ Tue, 06 Dec 2005 22:35:54 PST
MUST DO:
- learn how to cook something (in the event that i will go overseas to study i will NOT eat western food everyday. i NEED chinese food like oxygen haha)
- get the hell over my fear of heights! so long as it doesn't kill me heh..
- read LotR again. ^^ (started)
- pack for London trip. (HATE PACKING)

MIGHT DO:
- make soap (try absinthebride's method) (or use the set mum gave me last year)
- find me a publisher for ACE. and buyers too of course. haha

editing... *hummm* ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6911375/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6911375/ Sun, 06 Nov 2005 05:48:12 PST
[01.] Who are you?
[02.] Are we friends?
[03.] When and how did we meet?
[04.] How have I affected you?
[05.] What do you think of me?
[06.] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[07.] How long do you think we will be friends?
[08.] Do you like me?
[09.] Would you date me?
[10.] Would you kiss me?
[11.] Would you hug me?
[12.] Do you think I would be willing to edit out a question that I didn't think was right even if told not to by "them"?
[13.] Physically, what stands out? On me?????
[14.] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15.] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16.] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[17.] Am I loveable?
[18.] How long have you known me?
[19.] Describe me in one word.
[20.] What was your first impression?
[21.] Do you still think that way about me now? Why?
[22.] What do you think my weakness is?
[23.] Do you think I'll get married? Who?
[24.] What makes me happy?
[25.] What makes me sad?
[26.] What reminds you of me?
[27.] If you could give me anything what would it be?
[28.] How well do you know me?
[29.] When's the last time you saw me?
[30.] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31.] Are you going to put this in your journal and see what I say about you?

----------------------------

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Denise
2. Den Den
3. Dendoo (DONT ASK)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. silvanorb
2. silvanix
3. louie (for those stupid things that want ur name like high scores for online games )

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Mah HAIIRRR.. ok no im not joking i like my hair.
2. mah BIG feet (they are big for my height ok!)
3. eyes i guess.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. height dammit why am i so short?
2. i am fat i dont like that (hey it rhymes!!) (reader: T.T)
3. my stupid complexion its terrible

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Heights
2. scary things.. like demons. i am a scaredy cat ok pls don't scare me.. (you: BOO! me: Eeeek!)

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. FOOOOOD
2. SLEEEEEEP
3. IIINNNNTTTTEEERRRRRNNNNEEEEETTT *goes all zombie like*

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. school uniform
2. earphones
3. name tag

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Maksim Mrvica
2. Busted (cos of THUNDERBIRDS yay!!!)
3. Jay Jay (ok im cheatin here. Jay Zhou and JJ Lin to fit it all in )

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO i am STILL listening to it!! yeah! 4 days and still going strong!!
2. Track 6 in Variations I & II by maksim cos i forgot the name haha
3. Qing Hua

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Someone loving
2. honest
3. patient and understanding (yeah i fit 2 in here again but who cares man?)

2 TRUTHS 1 LIE:
1. I LURVE SPIDERS
2. i like scrubbing pots
3. my house has a swimming pool (well the one im living in anyway)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Cute smile (jun jie's Sha Xiao! ^^ hehehe)
2. Bit taller then me
3. Not too fat and not too thin either lol..

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. reading (esp if its a book i haven't read)
2. drawing ACE/poems for dA
3. sleeping cos i need it.. its a hobby cuz of my pillow i luv my pillow!! (you: ah grow up man!!)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. sleep
2. chat with a friend but nobody is online
3. SLEEP but i have to finish this first and stuff

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. Veterinarian (gawsh did i spell it right?)
2. work in the air force ah its so cool! but of cos i cant cuz im scared of heights and have slight claustrophob... ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6897177/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6897177/ Tue, 22 Nov 2005 22:10:58 PST < cant get out of doing it bleah.. ><

--

so yeah this is sort of late cos im finishing my holiday in thailand already.. but that was only cos i had to leave the day after the exams. went shopping.. bought loads of stuff.. well it seemed alot but after taking a look at it, it doesnt really look like it was a lot.. anyhow, christmas presents are mostly all bought.. but some special presents i need to get from home.

when i get back tomorrow.. i think i won't be able to get online either cos i have to spend week.. yes a WEEK to clean up my room cos thats how messy that is. >< think war zone type mess.. thats my room. also because ive moved out of the school hostel so my stuff is everywhere! >< yeah.

and i HAD to get online soon because i needed to see just how many messages i have. i can't clear too many as yet.. well i will when i get home. im currently using my sister's laptop so...

yeah. i had 105 deviations, 2 hot topics, 7 miscellaneous messages, 50 comments, 12 journals, 1 poll and 1 note. so.. do the math haha.. and i am looking though ALL of them. i dont believe in deleting all of them and not looking at every single one. so i do look at all of them, even if i don't comment. ^^

so i WILL TAKE AGES to answer all your messages and stuff. i am starting from the oldest messages.. ie those from the bottom of the list. yeah. so.. pls be patient. its too much effort to apologise in every single comment.. so. the apology is here. ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6897157/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6897157/ Mon, 19 Dec 2005 17:28:16 PST chelx

A) first, recommend to me:
1. a movie
2. a book
3. a musical artist, song, or album

B) i want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. ask me anything you want. no kidding, ANYTHG, i'll give you the absolute honest truth, to the best of my ability.

C) thn go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything.

--

TEN (10) THINGS I LIKE

1. my dog
2. my pillow
3. sleeping
4. slacking
5. chatting to friends online (seeing as i have so few in reality)
6. playing maplestory
7. blasting loud music
8. drawing alot of stuff
9. sweeping the floor. strangely, i like it. its exercise anyway. haha
10. my computer
___________

THREE (3) THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

1. my dog
2. a sound internet connection 24/7 (and someone else paying the bills aka my dad)
3. music.. like.. O'Zone's songs, esp Dragostea Din Tei and Dar, Unde Esti.
___________

Ten (10) THINGS THAT ANGER ME

1. BAD BAD TABLE MANNERS! (people eating with mouth open, people talking with mouth full, and MORE)
2. bloody hypocrites who are sickly sweet in the front and downright idiotic and nasty behind. (other's backs that is)
3. people who buy animals and them dump them or mistreat em!
4. a slooooow computer
5. having nothing to do
6. anorexic bimbos who eat close to nothing and say they are full. i Really despise that!
7. impatient people (like my mum, but that doesnt mean i don't like her)
8. my stupid 11 year old brother getting coddled by everyone. HES REALLY SPOILT! i can't say i get angry with spoilt people cos i am very spoilt. i think.
9. people who never have a nice thing to say
10. people who are never happy even when they have so much more than others.
____________

TEN (10) THINGS I HATE

- erm isn't this the same as *above* ^

1. salty, oily food. YUCK
2. bird crap. well, any kind of crap really.
3. lizards be GROSS (house lizards)
4. slobs. who live in filth. im currently trying to clean up alot of filth. 2 years of it to be exact.
5. hypocrites
6. tag-alongers or wdv u call em. those who tag along uninvited assuming they are.
7. SUPER EMO!! (and there's a couple of SUPER EMOs in my school)
8. i hate how easy it is to write down what i hate.
9. ignorant close minded people. including SOME people who assume that Singapore is a state in japan, malaysia or even worse.. america!
10. show-offs
10.

_____________

FIVE (5) FACTS ABOUT ME

1. My family: i have parents, three siblings: a twin sister, two younger brothers) it sucks being at home when everybody else is cos there is bound to be a fight. so i stay in my room and talk to people online. its a nicer place to be
2. My age: im 16 and it aint sweet at all, even if i can watch NC16 movies now. ><
3. My mind: is a total blank, full of fog. with odd times where theres little fog lights and the fog clears for a while. i don't register stuff people say sometimes. my mind wanders quite a bit
4. My heart: eh... sill teengirl/fangirl crushes though by now i sort of know they blow over.
5. My body: the tallest hobbit in the world, i stand at 5 feet, and... have boring brown eyes, with boring straight black hair, and oh yeah. im fat-ish too, plump i guess but i hate that word.

______________

THREE (3) FACTS ABOUT MY (real) NAME

1. it is: Eng Wen Lin Denise Elizabeth (Wen Lin is my chinese name)
2. it is the second longest name in my level (secondary 4). (indians have longer names, but my school is a chinese school)
3. chinese names are easy to throw together like mine. Wen and Lin are very common in girl's names. but different characters are used.

______________

TWO (2) THINGS I EXPECT (for the moment)

1. i will be cleaning my room for another 2 weeks and still not be done. however i do not have two weeks.
2. i will continue to play games and forget about my stupid dirty room. cos i have used up 4 trash bags already and made no dent in the mess

______________

FOUR (4) RANDOM THOUGHTS

1. i hate my dirty room. and the mess is mostly thanks to my sister
2. i love my doggy
3. Maplestory is pointless but its fun
4. no internet for two weeks in england might just kill me.
_______________

THE SONG I AM LISTENING TO NOW

Numai Tu by O'Zone
_______________

And now...Tag! You're it!

http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6842756/ Sun, 23 Oct 2005 06:36:36 PDT
i found another spider on my mum's car! ^^ this time, it was metallic in colour, like gold, or green, or something. i almost didn't want to catch it cos i thought it was a plain old spider, until i saw the colours.. i was like.. WOW. so i have it with me now, but i don't want it to die so i'm going to let it go like i did all the others (for those who don't know i really LOVE spiders). i've taken a few good pictures of it.

this one is surprisingly not jumpy like the others, and i can afford to take the cover off the bottle which i keep it in and get a clear shot of its details instead of a distorted image.

this spider actually even had this "pose" which i'm happy to say i captured despite the limitations of my camera and it stayed in that position for quite some time. then it disappeared. it had jumped onto my camera, but it was slow enough for me to get it back into its bottle. it's pretty happy now, but since its building a web, i think its hungry. looks like i have to release it soon. its a very pretty spider, and one of the best i've ever caught (creds to my sis for catching some of them. ^^)

--

graduated on the 22nd of October...

took some lousy pictures.. so for those who really want to see my stupid face can see it soon. when i find a not so stupid one. i hate taking photos of myself.. but mum was like hey Denise! look here! take apicture with your friends! and then when nobody was like ok lets take a picture together my mum was like.. you have no friends in class? SHIT i swear the whole class heard that. >< its bad enough them knowing that my mum is on the school board ok?? so anyway i took a picture with the class monitress and this netballer in my class. we're not really close but we're ok. i guess...

--

toldya abt my grasshopper right? heehee.. it died so i took it to pieces. took some pictures. some might find it cruel but its interesting to me.. and one thing.. grasshopper entrails are the MOST boring on this earth! just one stupid long tube. >< how boring!! yeah so watch out for those pictures too.

more pictures will come but now mum's been telling me not to spend so much time online. i sure hope i can control myself. internet bill is gonna skyrocket this month.. ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6825790/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6825790/ Sun, 13 Nov 2005 05:09:21 PST
we got to go for a test drive.. but this is NO ORDINARY TEST DRIVE!! because its land rovers we're looking at, we got to go though this obstacle course. it was pretty much of an alright.. but one part did scare me.. ><

the first bit we went over was a series of LARGE bumps on the ground, and the guy who was driving the car demo'd how to change the settings to make the car higher blah blah blah so it could go over the bumps.. the car has this air suspension so it doesnt feel so bad going over the bumps..

next was this slope... it goes up then down.. VERY steeply. whoa.. that was scary.. we went up the slope thingy again except it was from the steep side first.. and that was just as bad as going down it.. >< now i know why i won't be able to fly a plane if i want to. damn freaked out by heights i am. >< then the guy drove the car into a pool and the height of the water was up til the top of the tyre itself. coolness. ^^ and we got a DVD and photos taken from that. hee hee. i won't post them cos the ones with me in it look stupid because i look stupid in ALL pix. LOL..

anyhow.. the ride was MOST awesome! tee hee.. land rovers rock so if i can bloody afford one next time... thats the brand of car im gonna get. LOL. ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6807692/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6807692/ Thu, 03 Nov 2005 23:21:00 PST
machine problems again what the hell.. stupid thing didn't spin properly AGAIN! whats with school washing machines??????? this is like the fifth time it has happened and i am NOT going to the general office to get my dollar back i can't be bothered anymore. cus they treat me different from the other boarders. one reason is cuz my mum is chairman of the boarding school committee and they feel obligated to be nice or something. sure wish they would treat me normal. >< once i was playing basketball after 7pm with a friend. i didn't know that ur not supposed to and my friend got a big scholding and i wasn't even told off. matron looked so mad far away but then when she saw it was me her facial expression changed visibly. I mean WHO CARES if ur mum is on the school board and the boarding school commitee? i don't thats for sure.
--

edit: i think i'll use this entry for angry rants..

HORRID! honestly im totally fine with people visiting with my room mates and all.. but singing really really BADLY, sitting on my bed and sitting on my POOR stuffed toys in their school uniform after a day of SCHOOL and talking at the top of their voices is just too much.

i really don't like having people sit on my bed unless its with permission. i mean, for friends im ok with that but these are people i DON'T know at all. OMG. and there's this particular one with an irritating high pitched voice and guess what? jsut my luck, she's the MOST talkative one.

ACK! and they keep playing this computer game which makes annoying noises.. or they watch chinese serial soap operas and go "wah kao" (can't remember what this means) or "hao shuai!" (very handsome)

i think they must have something against me or something.

--

i think washing machines hate me...

stupid water just wont drain.. and i need my school uniform tomorrow! lucky i need not wake up early tmr.. otherwise.. im in BIG trouble.

and i changed machines... IT STILL DIDNT DRAIN!

so... i had to set it on spin. bloody waste of money. one dollar each time u use the machine. so today, i used three dollars

WITHOUT DRYER. so i am going to smell like a mop tmr.

end of angry rant. until tmr. if my friggin clothes are dry! stupid machines.. at least i'll get repaid. but the matron is SO not going to believe it happened to me a second time. GAH ]]> ~xian-ated http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6798683/ http://xian-ated.deviantart.com/journal/6798683/ Tue, 18 Oct 2005 07:09:07 PDT
1. height 154cm translates to abt 5 ft. hobbit size! ^^

2. shoe size abt... erm. 7 i think. by right i should be taller. LOL in proportion to my shoe size anyway..

3. when i do harry potter quizzes, i usually get ron weasley or hermione, or griffyndor house. ><

4. i like scrubbing pots and sweeping floors.. but only when i feel like it! LOL

5. i have a twin, for those who don't know, shes ^^

6. i aim to find a cure for cancer when i grow up. cellular biology and genetics and all that stuff.

7. i love dissecting things.. well, almost. insects and fish and all that. EXCEPT SPIDERS.

8. i claim to be on a diet, but i still eat alot.

9. i try not to talk too much, but somehow i always have something to say

10. i like to ski. and im pretty good at it too! ^^

11. i am quite obsessive about doggy ears. if i see one, and i cant unfold it i'll be mad the rest of the day

12. i hate people telling me that the photos i take are blurry, especially since my sister is the one who does it. I HATE IT. honestly, shes the only one who thinks the photos i take are blurry. and she says ALL the photos i take are blurry. how can you not hate that?

13. i am allergic to insect bites. its random too.. and if i have a reaction, theres these swollen painful welts and theyre so big like lets say the size of the scoop bit of a teaspoon. and thats the smallest

14. i love snow and cold weather! ^^ cos i live in HOT singapore.. so of course i like the cold. and rain too. rain is good. ^^

15. i have long hair. about 16 inches..

16. chinese is my favourite subject

17. i like cod liver oil.. the orange flavoured one.. im not that brave.

18. i am shy in real life. i like the internet cos u don't see people face to face

19. i am unable to look people in the eye. it makes my eyes feel funny.

20. i was feeling very upset one day and was looking for some pills to swallow to make my headache go away. took 4 panadol tablets. not sure what that does but the headache went away. i felt like scaring my parents by taking like more than that, but i didnt have any more than 4. >< ]]> ~xian-ated