deviantART: by:xohere-thereox

am i l o s t. in your {eyes}

~xohere-thereox — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:26:59 PST

_{awhh...no more pretty skin =[

Stolen from =HistoryRepeated

Step 1

Make a post in your journal containing your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple to really big. The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
If you wish for real-life things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa could get in touch with you.

Step 2

Surf around your friends list (or friend's friends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream for free--do it. You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call. There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

Step 3

The List

1) I'd ask for cards, but my parents would get mad...so maybe a little Christmas themed image, with or without Remedy

2) Just someone to wish me Merry Christmas

3) Requests, i really want to try and work on my drawing skills

4) I would really love if somebody would do a collab with me, i dont care if it's a manipulation or a drawing

5) A reason to smile and mean it

6) Help on backgrounds for drawings would be great, so i can make better pictures. so maybe a tutorial or something?

7) Understanding

8) Muse/Inspiration to work on my story

9) DA Messenger Bag (expensive, i know, but it'd be perfect. please don't feel obligated to even think about getting this, especially since my parents probably wouldn't be happy)

10) A white Christmas

-- Shimmer}

you_dont d e s e r v e. a {point} of ViEW

~xohere-thereox — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:26:37 PST

_{where are the people that accuse me?
the ones who beat me down and abuse me.

i dont know
i just dont feel like there's much anymore
to like..fight for

this month especially is a downer for me
like you have no idea
but you know, whatever

they hide just out of sight...

have you ever felt like you just...
want to completely give up?
like you just wish it would all go away when you open your eyes
or maybe if you think hard enough it may happen

...sometimes it's hard to just keep going.

i feel kind of like that right now
but i think im falling past it
i think i've fallen more towards..
i just wish i would die
like that would be so much easier

can i trust what i can't see?

i probably sound like a whiny bitch
oh well, that probably wouldnt be the first time

i want to take control but i know better...}

HistoryRepeated

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.
You can't use the band I used.
Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think!
Repost as "my life according to (band name)"

Pick Your Artist: Linkin Park

What is your name:
Figure.09

Are you a male or female:
Nobody's Listening

Describe yourself:
Numb

How do you feel
In Pieces

Describe where you currently live:
By Myself
[not really...but you know xD]

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Somewhere I Belong

Your favorite form of transportation:
Crawling
[x3]

Your best friend is:
Part Of Me
[well...we are like sisters]

You and your best friends are:
High Voltage
[hehe xD]

What's the weather like:
Shadow of the Day

What's your favorite time?
Valentine's Day
[LIES]

If your life was a tv show, what would it be called:
What I've Done

What is life to you:
It's Going Down

Your last relationship was:
Pushing Me Away
[actually...i've never had one]

Your fear:
No Roads Left

Your wish:
No More Sorrow
[amen]

What is the best advice you have to give:
Hands Held High

Thought for the Day:
Forgotten or Bleed It Out

How I would like to die:
Hit The Floor

My soul's present condition:
Given Up
[well...]

My motto:
Easier To Run

TENtoONE

~xohere-thereox — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 12:35:24 PDT

_{stole this from =HistoryRepeated

[TEN things you want to say to ten different people]

1. I don't know what the hell your problem is. First off, I'm not exactly sure why you're so pissed at me, when I should be pissed at you. Second, I never figured you'd turn out to be an ART THIEF. You confuse me, I thought we were on the same side but now you're with her. What the hell?! All I can say right now is just, fuck off bitch!

2. I know we've had our differences and that things have gone wrong between us. But I'm so glad to call you my friend and I know that you care so much. It makes me smile to know that you're so happy together with her. You guys are great together, love you! <3

3. I don't even know what to say about you. It's like, I have to love you because of certain things, like the fact that you're my mother. But on the other hand if I had the choice i would hate you with all that I have, I think. You frustrate me and you tell me that I'll never make it. I thought parents were supposed to support and encourage their kids, not tell them that they're going to fail at what they want to do. On top of that, you don't understand me, I feel like if I tried talking to you it would go in one ear and out the other, and well, it does. Thats why I don't tell you what he does anymore. There's no point in telling you because you let him get away with it. And I don't understand one thing. What do you have against them? They're so great, they're the family that I've never had. Is that why you hate them? Because I want to be with them and not you? When you figure that out, let me know.

4. I hate you. I know that you sometimes might stand up for me, but god, do you honestly think that makes all of the terrible things that you've done or said to me, better? I don't understand you anymore and I wish I did. I grew up with you and we used to be cool together but I don't know what happened. I would tell you to go to hell, but I think you'll probably end up there anyway.

5. I don't care what I go through, I love you. It doesn't matter if you're lecturing me and telling me things that I already know, that I just need to come to grips with, or if you're laughing and smiling with me. I love the hugs that you give and the way your voice sounds. I will never forget you.

6. Okay, I know you're my father and I know that I have huge problems with accepting that. Or well, accepting all the love that you have for me. They all try to make me understand, and somehow, somewhere, I do, but it's just so...foreign to me. I want to have the connection that they do with you, and I'm really not sure why I keep saying no. I know that it's my decision and that's why I'm afraid that at the end of the day I might just push you aside.

7. It was so nice to see you again this year. At first when I saw you I thought that you had changed, but then I realized that you hadn't after we started talking. It was like we had never been apart, we laughed again and had fun and it was just wonderful. A nice break from all the stress that the year brought.

8. I don't know what else to say other than I love you. You're so sweet and kind and I could never forget you. Thank you.

9. I don't want to say that I hate you. More like despise with a burning passion. You've done so much wrong in your life and for some reason you choose to take it out on those around you. You steal, you torment and somehow you think that you're the boss. Hello, you're 26 AND YOU STILL LIVE YOUR PARENTS. You hate living here, but that's not my fault, I am not the one who dropped out of college and ended up with a bastard of a boyfriend who took all of my money. Go get an education, a real fucking job and leave us the hell alone!

10. We are so perfect to be friends. If we could meet, I think I would die from happiness. And where we live is so convenient too. I swear that someday we will join our businesses and save all the little furries!

[NINE things about yourself]

1. I am a very loud person
2. Sometimes I act like a know-it-all, but that's because my family makes me feel like I know nothing when I am around them.
3. Sometimes I think of terrible things to do to myself that nobody in their right mind would ever imagine.
4. I take a Street Art class during the school year on thursdays after school at Chabod Academy of the Arts, and no, it is not art that we do on the street
5. Animals mean the world to me, sometimes they're the only reason that I come home if I go somewhere
6. I am really harsh on myself about certain things that I do
7. If I have a dream/nightmare where somebody is only trying to kill me, it's usually a good one.
8. I don't know why I write, and I can't remember when I start...}

in[every]LOSS_in{every}LiE

~xohere-thereox — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 09:18:56 PDT

_{*themes have been moved to below my desktop screenshot*

uhm
okay, let me start off by saying this
i don't want you guys to feel sorry for me
but i'm sure some of you have noticed the main feelings behind most of my themes
so no, i am not okay
i mean, if you are really curious, and i know most of you care
there's a lot going on right now in my life

it's really hard to explain
especially in a journal where anybody just passing through could read
because, like, some of it is really personal
and i don't want to take up anybodys' time either
by like, ranting about it or just going on and on
which probably will end up happening

but if you really took the time to read this entire thing
even though it's pretty pointless
and you still are worried or wondering what's going on
thanks<3}

100 Themes Challenge

~xohere-thereox — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 20:46:48 PDT

_{for the lack of things to do
i'm going to do a 100 themes challenge
only, i'm going to add a twist
i will be writing everything
whether it be stories, poems, whatever, even if it is but one sentence

here we go:
1. Introduction
2. Rain
3. Loves
4. Pain
5. Wind
6. Hugs
7. Joy
8. Insanity
9. Memory
10. Life
11. Hazely - finished [link]
12. Stars
13. Innocence
14. Light
15. Dark
16. Sorrow
17. Horror
18. Illusion - finished [link]
19. Sacrifice - finished [link]
20. Hero
21. Diamonds
22. Give Up
23. Spiral
24. Heal
25. Last Hope
26. Heaven
27. Hell
28. Pen and Paper
29. Childhood
30. Creation
31. Family - finished [link]
32. Night
33. Sunrise
34. Gray Scale
35. Tears
36. Smile - finished [link]
37. Breathe
38. Misfortune
39. Treasure
40. Abandoned
41. Waiting
42. Rejection - finished [link]
43. Reflection
44. Dying
45. Two Roads
46. Drowning
47. Wild
48. Blood
49. Loneliness
50. Nostalgia - finished [link]
51. Freedom
52. Segregation
53. Bonds
54. Frustration
55. Helplessness
56. Friendship
57. Loyalty
58. Mirrors - finished [link]
59. Can You Hear Me?
60. Magic
61. Numb
62. Run Away
63. Fairytale
64. Fight
65. Solider
66. Broken Soul
67. 67%
68. Toxic - finished [link]
69. The Bird and the Worm
70. Angel
71. Devil
72. Phase - finished [link]
73. Chocolate
74. Candy
75. Secrets
76. Silence - finished [link]
77. Home
78. Fallen
79. Answer
80. Over Protected
81. Because of You
82. Believe
83. Breakdown - finished [link]
84. Ink
85. Carousel - finished [link]
86. Fake It
87. Time is Running Out
88. Imaginary
89. Rainbow
90. Iris
91. Let Go
92. Suicide
93. Missing
94. Sunshine - finished [link]
95. Underground
96. Sober
97. Devil's Rejects
98. Anywhere
99. Cry
100. Behind Blue Eyes - finished [link]}

new journal

~xohere-thereox — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 12:57:48 PDT

_{yeah...lame title xD
anyway, stole this from ~Emo-Bunneh
you can do it if you want

If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...
7. When you're finished tag some other people to do it!

Opening Credits:
You Found Me - The Fray

Waking Up:
Rise Above This - Seether
[ohshit]

First Day Of School:
Taste of Ink - The Used
[haha, this doesn't even make sense xD]

Falling In Love:
What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts
[sounds more like a break-up]

First Song:
Far Away - Nickelback

Fight Song:
Thanks For The Memories - Fall Out Boy
[uhm..okay]

Breaking Up:
Better In Time - Leona Lewis
[ohyeah baby]

Prom:
Fly To Your Heart - Selena Gomez

Life:
Sober - Pink

Mental Breakdown:
Scream - ZOEgirl

Driving:
Fast Cars and Freedom - Rascal Flatts
[well..this actually has nothing to do with cars]

Flashback:
Better Than Me - Hinder

Getting Back Together:
Lacrymosa - Evanescence
[haha]

Wedding:
When You Look Me In The Eyes - Jonas Brothers

Birth Of Child:
Crush - David Archuleta
[ohmy]

Passion:
Noise and Kisses - The Used

Final Battle:
Headstrong - Trapt

Death Scene:
Slow Fade - Casting Crowns
[christianmusic]

Funeral Song:
Mockingbird - Eminem
[butimdead xD]

End Credits:
Your Star - Evanescence}

.stereotypes.suck.

~xohere-thereox — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 16:19:34 PDT

_{stole this from ~Hazely
if you want to do it, go ahead

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. [partly]
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore. [i was]
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. [no]
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. [sometimes, not all the time]
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. [really?]
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals. [wtf?]
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. [had purple highlights once]
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. [well, i wear bright orange xD]
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. [umm..]
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. [i dont have a bunch, but enough]
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. [girl, kaythanks]
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. [actually, it makes me an INDIVIDUAL]
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. [haha, i'm broke and dont want any money]
I'm CZECH, so I MUST love beer and sausage and be stubborn.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. [what?]
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. [yeah, screw you]
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I SING AT CHURCH, so I MUST be black. [so my entire church must be black, huh? when in truth only 4 of them are. and i happen to love them all]
I'm WHITE born in a black area, so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. [you got a fucking problem with it?]
I'm FRENCH, so I MUST smell horrible.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. [w.t.f]
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naÃ¯ve.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I...}

uhm

~xohere-thereox — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 11:09:35 PDT

_{i dont have anything to put here
just a pointless journal
felt like getting rid of the other one}

it's_TIME that i get [out] of HERE

~xohere-thereox — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 10:20:31 PDT

_{im sorry
okay?
im fucking sorry
im sorry for all the shit and whatever that i've been putting everybody through
and im sorry for being rude or a bitch or a jerk
okay, okay, okay
and i've decided
it's over
and i absolutely can't do this anymore
so yes, i give up

and don't comment, nothing you all can say will change my mind}

there'sNOTHiNG.left_after[all]

~xohere-thereox — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:11:42 PDT

_{I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore

A fragile frame aged
With misery
And when our eyes meet
I know you see

I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut

I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
No I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside

I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I find it when
I am cut
Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone

I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore

But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when
I was cut

good song. don't ask. please just...leave me alone. thanks.}

whatever

~xohere-thereox — Mon, 25 May 2009 07:07:34 PDT

_{whatever
that's all i have to say anymore
just...whatever
it's over and done}

-insert title here-

~xohere-thereox — Sun, 10 May 2009 11:52:37 PDT

_{in the end..is there a point to all this madness?

i dont even know how to explain how i feel anymore
it's like, am i distressed...tired...what?
im on the border of indecision
and im still deciding whether i should tell them or not
i dont know
i have a few days
it doesnt really matter anyway}

poetry

~xohere-thereox — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:52:24 PDT

_{this is a story of lost innocence
and shadowed days
because you cant see me
and its not easier with you
standing right there
tell me
do you see
the pain
the anger
the hurt
all these things that youve put me through
do you see the tears
do you see the wounds
im crying here and lying here
willing for you to see
just for you to see me
because you cant see my fears
and you cant see my tears
so that must mean you cant see me

is it because you dont care or
is there another reason
behind your mask are you celebrating
or dying and broken inside
when i look at you i see a person who
just doesnt care at all or
care enough to try
if i see that in you
can you see this is me
that im hurting and broken
stressed and worrying
or do you not see me
i know you cant see my fears
for you are them
and i know you cant see my tears
because all you do is laugh
so that must mean you cant see me}

random?

~xohere-thereox — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 17:27:53 PDT

_{stole from ~CHASityxx

YOUR BOY SIDE:
[x] you love hoodies
[x] you love jeans
[ ] dogs are better than cats [gotta love 'em both]
[x] it's hilarious when people get hurt and fall
[x] you've played with/against boys on a team
[ ] shopping is torture
[ ] sad movies suck
[x] you own a XBOX
[x] you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
[ ] at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter
[x] you owned a DS, PS2 or Sega
[x] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[ ] you watch sports on TV [ew..sports -gag-]
[x] gory movies are cool [i love Wrong Turn!]
[ ] you used to go to your dad for advice
[x] you have at least 1 trophy of a sport
[x] You used to play Yu-Gi-Oh
[x] baggy sweat pants are nice to wear [so comfy]
[ ] it's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[ ] green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors [-loves orange]
[x] you love to go crazy and not care what other people think
[ ] sports are fun [again, ew..sports]
[x] you sometimes talk with food in your mouth
[x] you sleep at night with your socks on
[x] you have fished at least once
TOTAL = 16

YOUR GIRL SIDE
[x] you like to shop
[ ] you wear eyeliner [make-up = gross]
[x] you wear the color pink [yes, but i dont like it]
[ ] you go to your mom for advice
[ ] you consider cheerleading a sport
[ ] you hate wearing all black
[x] you like going to the mall
[ ] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[x] you like wearing jewelry [earrings, occasionally a necklace]
[ ] you cried watching The Notebook
[ ] skirts are a big parts of your wardrobe [NEVER]
[ ] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
[ ] you don't like the movie Star Wars
[ ] you are/were in gymnastics
[ ] it takes you around one hour to shower and get dressed [more like 30 mins]
[x] You smile a lot more than you should
[ ] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes
[ ] you care about what you look like majority of the time [n.e.v.e.r]
[ ] you like wearing dresses [ugh, no]
[ ] you like wearing body spray
[ ]you like high heel shoes
[x] you used to play with dolls as a kid [yeah, but they were hideous things]
[ ]you like putting makeup on others
[ ]you like being the star of almost everything
TOTAL = 6 [haha, FAIL!]

-----------------------------------------------------
To-Do List

Completed and/or Uploaded
Finishing Touches and Tweaking
Started
Idea In Mind
Not Started

Trades
closed

Requests
closed

Other

Gifts
Gifts for all my Lovelies

Characters
Jael Reference
Mutt Reference
Caw Reference
Jason Reference
Fursona for Chaz
Chase Reference
Terra, Lyla and Nikki

Traditional
[link]

Eaotin
Chapter One
Chapter Two

Lineart
Tau and Fuse Face-off
Wolf Pup Lineart
Wolf Adult Lineart
Fox Newborn Lineart
Fox Kit Lineart
Fox Adult Lineart}

im STiLL_here.

~xohere-thereox — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:21:20 PDT

_{hey everybody
im still here
if you havnt guessed
you know, little me?
i guess im the only one left
huh?
well
whatever

My perfect little world
Has just fallen through the clouds
And weÂre slowly sinking
Crashing into the ground

I can still live
But living while dead inside
Well I deem it worse
Than a thousand deaths

And my world
Has just come crashing down
So while it burns
I will walk down to hell

IÂm alone now
Everything I stood for
And everything I lived for
Is going down now

So donÂt try to help me
I can hurt you too
Because thatÂs all I will do

I gave away every piece of my heart
And everybody I gave one to
Has stole away

So as this world
And its image burns
I will be wandering
Just wandering now

I guess I donÂt matter anymore
Do you all hate me?
And if not
Then donÂt leave me

I need you
I need you all like I need air
So by leaving youÂre suffocating me
And it feels so good}

my whole [world] just came CRASHiNG_down

~xohere-thereox — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:51:49 PDT

_{my world just came crashing to the ground
and as it bursts into flame i will walk down to hell
you're welcome to join me babe
but just be forewarned
we're all insane down there

we went mad and some still are
we are just waiting to drag you down with us
so you'll end up joining someday

this whole place is going to hell
and i'm just taking a head start
i won't forget all the good people
and i'll make sure to send them to heaven
but i know so many people who i will drag down with me

don't be frightened dear
it's not as scary as it seems
and then you'll turn out just like us
we can be one crazy insane family

no comments}

break time

~xohere-thereox — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 17:33:27 PDT

_{um
well the title says it all
i think i might take a little break
i have no 'muse' for drawing
or writing
and i dont want to fill in linearts for all my OCs
so yeah
im going to take a small break
i may get on occasionally to check stuff
love you all <3
-------------------------------
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Characters
Jael Reference
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Traditional
My December

Random
Meme [link]

Eaotin
Chapter One
Chapter Two

Lineart
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i knew it

~xohere-thereox — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 17:42:24 PDT

_{i knew it
i absolutely knew they hated the academy
she lied
she told me they didnt care
but they lied
they hate it
i dont know what to do
im so distressed
but there isnt anywhere for me to go
someone just kill me please
itd be easier than this
and im not kidding
-------------------------------
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Jael Reference
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Traditional
My December

Eaotin
Chapter One
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i dont know

~xohere-thereox — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 18:32:03 PDT

_{well, its true.
i dont know where to go
or what to do.
im sorry.
goodbye.
------------------------------------------------
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Chapter One
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Lineart
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whatever

~xohere-thereox — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 13:19:31 PDT

_{cried myself to sleep again.
i broke a laptop that my mother needed for work.
she got mad.
she also wants me to go see a doctor.
get a counselor.
this hell is going to be the death of me.
------------------------------------------------
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Eaotin
Chapter One
Chapter Two

Lineart
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gifts

~xohere-thereox — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 08:26:31 PST

_{not much to say here. but since im doing gifts for everyone im curious as to what OC you might want me to draw. so like, hazely, lays, chichi, alex, etc. if you have a specific OC, then let me know. kaythanks.
-------------------------------------------------
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Eaotin
Chapter One
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my life sucks

~xohere-thereox — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 12:51:13 PST

_{yeah, well, it's true. my family is one of the worst possible families ever, like forget abusive parents what about an abusive brother who doesn't care how you're related to him and parents who don't do anything when he threatens to kill you with a knife. my life is just lovely isnt it?

ha, thats funny. im not sure i can take it much longer here, my sister is a jerk and bosses me around like a slave, my brother is abusive and makes fun of me infront of his friends and my parents and i have parents who dont care period or dont care enough to try. like seriously, he's never been punished and when they do punish him and take something away from him like his Xbox, all he has to say is 'i'll change' and they give it back. i seriously think the longest he's been away from that stupid thing is like an hour. not even kidding.

and i cant stand it here, im surprised i havnt run away yet, or worse. i want to, believe me i do. but you guys and everyone from the academy matter too much. i suppose that if i ever disappear, youll probably atleast know why and what happened.
--------------------------------------------------
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My December

Eaotin
Chapter One
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yesss!

~xohere-thereox — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 08:15:56 PST

_{we just got a crap load of snow here in PA and its still coming down too!
no school today! i have been waiting for this storm for a whole year,
see there is this pattern here where every other year we get a nice big
snowstorm and here it is finally. there is so much of it! it's freaking
insane, i cant believe it. well, yeah...thats really it xD

um, about trades, i'm soooo sorry hazely,
i've just sorta lost my drawing muse, but i promise i will try to get them done
ASAP!
love you all! <3
---------------------------------------------
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Slot 1 - Open
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Eaotin
Chapter One
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Lineart
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uuuh?

~xohere-thereox — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 12:34:00 PST

_{uuuh, so something freak happened yesterday. i was warm to the touch, but i felt really cold and i couldnt stop shaking and it hurt in my chest. and when i stood i felt dizzy and i couldnt walk straight. it was so freak and out of nowhere. but i suppose it could be from lack of sleep and stress and fright and a whole bunch of other stuff that i don't care to go into detail about. maybe it was a panic attack, because i feel better now, but maybe i just was...well, cold. i dont know, but it's really scary. oh well.
---------------------------------------------
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Requests
Slot 1 - Open
Slot 2 - Open
Slot 3 - Open
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Other

Gifts
Gifts for all my Lovelies

Characters
New deviantID

Eaotin
Chapter One
Chapter Two

Lineart
Tau and Fuse Face-off
Wolf Pup Lineart
Wolf Adult Lineart
Fox Newborn Lineart
Fox Kit Lineart
Fox Adult Lineart}

yeahh

~xohere-thereox — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 16:04:11 PST

_{if you want to know how i feel, IM me.
'cuz i'm not talking about it on here.
ARTluvrFREAK is my screenname.
-------------------------------------------------
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Slot 1 - Open
Slot 2 - Open
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Characters
Pic of Cursed Fatality
Mate for Poltergeist [link]
Sibling for Anthony [link]

Eaotin
Chapter One
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Vestani for Lays
Tink as Winged Wolf
Tau and Fuse Face-off
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Wolf Adult Lineart
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Fox Adult Lineart}

life or death

~xohere-thereox — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 18:40:08 PST

_{i'm lying to myself
and this dagger's my excuse
i'm a pawn
i should have paid up
and i left an hour late
i was laid up

i must abuse myself
i'm against all that I've made up
set in stone the sun will come
and i hate light
you know i hate light
to me it looks so pretty burning

burn the sun
burn the light
take take take take take take it away
take my hand
take my life
take take take take take take it away

i must have caught something
in the heat of all these dances
i'm a worm with no more chances
and i've lost all doubt
in a chemical romance

i can't stop itching
over thoughts of tarnished hope
kinda funny
lonely feeling
i'm not in love
you know it's not love
don't make it look so pretty burning

brothers and sisters
i'm right here with you
cause everyone's got one
a story to kill me
i'm so apathetic in my resentment
living, loving, knowing not

take my hand [x8]
take my life
take my heart take my mind
take my life take my life

i don't know what to do anymore. i want to believe everything that people tell me, but it's so hard to when it's never happened before. my parents don't care that my brother almost killed me, they don't care that he gives me bruises and mocks me and makes fun of me right in front of them. it's not that i hate them, or anybody, i just don't care anymore, that's the thing. it's gotten to the point where i'm past all the easy suicides like jumping from the roof outside my window or shooting myself. i'm past cutting and running away. it's so bad that i almost killed myself with a plastic bag, almost suffocated myself. i don't have a family and i don't deserve one. i have no heart and even if i did, no heart beat. it's gone. i can't find it. my friends try to help, but they don't really, they sympathize and try to make me change my mind, but that's not what i need. sometimes i wonder if my life is worth all this pain. because at least loosing my life is only painful for a few moments instead of days, weeks, months...even years. it's been years since i've really ever smile or laughed and inside i wasn't breaking or broken. so this is my life, but whatever.
----------------------------------------------
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Pic of Cursed Fatality

Eaotin
Chapter One
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Tau and Fuse Face-off
Wolf Newborn Lineart
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You tell me this will be the last feeling like this.
Just came to say goodbye,
Didn't want you to see me cry, i'm fine.
But i know it's a lie.
....
You're parents say everything is you're fault,
But they don't know you like i know you.
They don't know you at all.
I'm so sick of when they say it's just a phase,
You'll be okay, you're fine.
But i know it's a lie."

5. Name one song (give lyrics) that best describes your life one year ago:
Fly To Your Heart- Selena Gomez

"Watch all the flowers dance with the wind,
Listen to snowflakes whisper your name.
Feel all the wonder lifting your dreams,
You can fly.

Fly to who you are,
Climb upon your star,
You believe you'll find your wings,
Fly, to your heart."

6. When you're driving, what are the preset stations on your radio:
96.9, 96.5 and other stuff

7. What's the last CD you bought:
Avril Lavinge

8. Was the last CD you burned an actual CD or a mix:
CD

9. Name one song/band/singer you're embarrassed to like but do:
None

10. If you could only attend one concert ever again, it would be:
Concerts are too loud

11. Name one band/singer you absolutely can't stand:
The Used

12. Name a group you use to like but feel you've grown out of:
I don't know

CIRCLE THREE: MOVIES/TELEVISION

1. Name your favorite actors:
Don't care

2. Name your favorite actress:
Don't care

3. Name your favorite television show right now:
Animal Precinct

4. Name five really cool movies you've recently seen:
Bedtime Stories, Hotel for Dogs, Marley and Me, Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, Blue Planet

5. Your favorite canceled television show:
Even Stevens was cool..

7. Name one movie you wish you hadn't wasted time/money on recently: None

8. You would never watch a movie with:
Uuh

9. Favorite candy/food to watch movies with:
Sour Patch Kids or Swedish Fish

10. Three favorite tv channels:
Animal Planet..Disney and Cooking I guess if i'm bored

11. Favorite reality show:
I don't know

12. Favorite character on a reality show:
Don't know

CIRCLE FOUR: WORD ASSOCIATION
(Write the first word/thing/person that comes into your head when you read this word: )

1. coffee: Okay

2. dog: Commander

3. slut: Bad word ><

4. candy: M&Ms

5. pole: Flag

6. ocean: Blue

7. brave: Not me

8. loving: Academy

9. cookie: Chocolate

10. death: Peaceful

11. life: Hard

12. child: I wish

CIRCLE FIVE: WHICH WOULD YOU PREFER:
(bold the one you prefer)

1. Ten guilty men go free OR One innocent man goes to jail for life ...? Neither

2. Eaten by a lion OR Eaten by thousands of small insects
-it's a longer and more painful death, i bet-

3. A life of contentment without love OR A life with love and heartache How about a life without love and with heartache?

4. Skydiving from a plane OR Bungee jumping off a bridge
Both, if something bad happens to me

6. No television OR No music

7. No more pizza, ever OR No more chocolate, ever

8. A trip to Europe OR a trip to Hawaii I'd rather go to Africa

9. An hour with your future soul mate OR An hour with a lost loved one

10. No longer being able to cry OR No longer being able to feel the need to cry Neither

11. Sex without love OR love without sex
...?

12. Loving someone who doesn't love you OR being loved by someone you don't love -I would rather take the heartache than them-

CIRCLE SIX: THE LOVE LIFE

1. Are you currently in a relationship:
Depends on your definition of relationship

2. Are you currently looking/interested in someone:
No

3. Are you a virgin:
Yes

4. If yes, how long do you plan to be one:
Why is it your business, but when I'm sure I'm ready

5. How many tim...}

-sigh-

~xohere-thereox — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 19:42:32 PST

_{so i feel like crap, but that's really nothing new. um, i've been thinking alot and it hasn't helped much, it actually makes it worse to be able to think about it all. i'm so overwhelmed.
-------------------
i honestly don't know when or if i'm gonna get this stuff done. i'm so sorry guys, but i feel like im just barely holding myself together.

To-Do List

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Started
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Not Started

Trades
Jordie for ChiChi
Fuse for Lays
Slot 3 - Open
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Requests
Max for Alex
Kodie for Ichi
Slot 3 - Open
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Other
Faded Illusions
Wolf Newborn Lineart
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Eaotin
Chapter One
Chapter Two

Lineart
Vestani for Lays
Tink as Winged Wolf
Tau and Fuse Face-off
Giftie Suprise for ChiChi}

100 Truths

~xohere-thereox — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 18:13:54 PST

_{taken from ~musical-spartan

001. Name â Katherine
002. Nickname(s) â Kat
003. Status â Single

004. Zodiac sign â Leo
005. Male or female â Female

006. Elementary â Tioga and Cocalico -i moved in 5th grade-
007. Middle School â Tioga and Cocalico -5th grade is in El for Co, MS for Tioga-
008. High School â Cocalioc
009. Smart â I guess

010. Hair color â Light Brown
011. Long or short â Just below my shoulders
012. Loud or Quiet â Both
013. Sweats or Jeans â Both

014. Phone or Camera â Both
015. Health freak â Not really

016. Drink or Smoke? â Ew
017. Do you have a crush on someone? â No
018. Eating or Drinking â Umm
019. Piercings â Ears
020. Tattoos â Never

FIRSTS:

023. First piercing â Over 6 years ago
024. First best friend â Too many
025. First award â Something in GirlScouts
026. First crush â None
027. First pet â Christie, a mutt
028. First big vacation â New Hampsire
030. First big birthday â Who knows

CURRENTLY:

049. Eating â Nothing
050. Drinking â Coke Zero
052. I'm about to â Take a shower or go to bed
053. Listening to â Lifehouse
054. Plans for today â Sleep?

YOUR FUTURE:

058. Want kids? â Adopt a little girl
059. Want to get married? â Well, i know a certain someone has plans
060. Careers Â Veterinarian

WHICH IS BETTER WITH OPPOSITE SEX?

068. Lips or eyes â Don't care..?
070. Shorter or taller? â ^ Same ^
072. Romantic or spontaneous â Both..?
073. Nice stomach or nice arms â Don't care..again
074. Sensitive or loud â Loud
075. Hook-up or relationship â Idk
077. Troublemaker or hesitant â In between

HAVE YOU EVER:

080. Lost glasses/contacts â Not yet
081. Ran away from home â Thought about it and still am
084. Broken someone's heart â Most likely
085. Been arrested â Never
087. Cried when someone died â Of course

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

089. Yourself â Yeah..
090. Miracles â Yep
091. Love at first sight â Depends
092. Heaven â Always :3
093. Santa Claus â No, stupid commercial holiday
094. Sex on the first date â Never ever!
095. Kiss on the first date â um..

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now â More than one
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life â Somewhat
099. Do you believe in God â Yes, yes and yes
100. Post as 100 truths â Alright?
--------

If you want a requests from me, or want to do a trade, I'm glad to, just leave a comment!

To-Do List

Completed and/or Uploaded
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Jordie for ChiChi
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Slot 3 - Open
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Requests
Max for Alex
Kodie for Ichi
Slot 3 - Open
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Other
Faded Illusions
Wolf Newborn Lineart
Wolf Pup Lineart}