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]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/18349514/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/18349514/ Fri, 16 May 2008 09:58:11 PDT
finally got internet on my birthday which is today.

ive defiently changed my style and ive tooken up storying writing so expect a lot of that.

so much has happened.

and so much has changed.

but im still dedicated to this deviantart thing so yea i will be posting stuff up

just need to figure out how to connect my scanner lol.

anyways toodles and expect more to come if you like my stuff

luv yahs <3

]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/15223423/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/15223423/ Thu, 25 Oct 2007 23:58:22 PDT < my new deviant name is bloodyrosesxox . but the thing is that i havent uploaded anything at all on my new accoiunt so yea i gotta work on thaqt . BUT I GOT A NEW TABLET so some stuff will probably be coming soon until next time peace
M PS no internet at tge moment so it will be a while.

]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/10963794/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/10963794/ Tue, 05 Dec 2006 17:47:05 PST <

1. It's always hard to be with you, but everytime i am, i dont wanna leave. Theres nowhere else i wanna be, just with you...

2. We had our time, but we lost it cause of time and mistakes... I don't love you anymore so please try to let go...

3. Why can't you let me be. I just wana be myself and make my own decisions. Why can't you understand.


4. You people are my most treasured friends. You can never find friends like the ones i have. <3 I love you all


5. I don't know how you feel about me , and its scaring me cause your giving me mixed messages. And u have a girlfriend. You know i already have someone so please stop scaring me with ur look.


6. Sometimes i wanna kill you, and other times i think you are the sweetest thing on the earth. but in the end i love you


7. Yes boys are difficult, and we can hate them i agree with you. but in the end u need to rememeber that we can never live without them, cause then we would be bored


8. you can be difficult to understand since u have a diferent side to you but you never show it. i would like to know it bt i know that it will be a very long time before i know it.


9. Please just hold me again since ur so warm and lovable. No matter what i will find a way to you


10. Just enjoy what you have before you lose it in the end



Yea just for a quick note some of these things can refer to the same person more than once so there. lol

]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/9629679/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/9629679/ Mon, 07 Aug 2006 14:01:31 PDT
LOL just classify this journal as a rant. I just wanna get a clue about love. Cause i thjought i felt it beofre bt maybe i didn't maybe im feeling it now for someone else. ARGH

This is probably everyones problem from time to time. Yea. Bt whenever i fall for someone i stick with them for a loooonnggg time . then i just dont feel anything anymoe for them,,....

Im gonna explode right now KABOOM. ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/9379870/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/9379870/ Fri, 14 Jul 2006 21:12:42 PDT
Yes im quite happy yet mad.

My dad is m-o-n-i-t-o-r-i-n-g m-e.

So he'll probably know i wrote this

gggggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Whatever Im learning to keep my secrets to myself and not tell everyone geez i was so stupid and probably still am. yea kinda of random bt still thats how i am right?? well not anymore. Im gonna keep QUIET!

Yea. I have things to say bt im gonna keep them to myself hehe. Cause people will get mad ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/9320940/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/9320940/ Sun, 09 Jul 2006 12:20:55 PDT

I havent been shot down lol thank goodnesss. many thanks to everyone giving me advice on my last journal entry s to you all

summers finally here and hopefully ill get my internet back argh! ~_~

omg i have so many things to write bt then it will be too long.//....

k ill number them lol

1.my apologies to my deares lizard168 (joshie lol ) gave hiim theb wqrong # sigh*

2. ive officially moved and i live beside close friends and family hehe

3. there is this amazingluy hot guy who lives beside me named peter, with these amazing crystal blue eyes and the cutest smile sadly though hes 21. we're good friends lol so thats good. moer about him later... trying to make this jopuirnal short

4. my cat elliott had disappeared for four days and just yesterday we found him. my mom was so sad she had givin all the cats stuff to the neighbours the day before than the friggin cat came back Elliot

5. .....

you know what ill wriotersd stuff later

(l) ill be abck soon lol

M>C

P.S finally 1000 pageviews D D bou8t time *sigh i suck lol ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/9027638/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/9027638/ Sat, 10 Jun 2006 12:05:06 PDT
Shoot me. Or ill do it. Peoples in highschool probably do too right now that is. I havent started studying and exams are after next week X_X lol. If i get any lazier ill probably slip into a coma *sigh*

IP have been drawing things and painting bt i cant submit anything since i dont have internet, and sadly not even cable. Im gonna cry lol. So i cant watch the world cup soccer thing Fifa. argh! Anyways im cheering and hoping for portugal . My loveable country to win lol.

And people youve probably seen me ask this question before and now im gonna ask it again. But im gonna rephrase it.

How do you get a guy to like you?!!!!

Yes questions will be answered if any.

Benfica! lol

MC <3 .
shoot me. ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/8779713/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/8779713/ Mon, 15 May 2006 15:10:04 PDT wanna know why????/

cause tomorrew is my birthday!!!!!!!!!!

lol i just like to say this cause i wanna say something that khappened yesterday:

Apparently my brother and dmy dad and my mom are gonna give me a "suprise" gift. Bt my brother is ruining the surprise... the moron. Anyways i was making fun of my brother as usally (not that it hurts his feelings cause he makes fun of me too and he reaslly doesnt give a damn)

So i made up this joke lol. It was really stupid bt i couldnt help laughing at it hehe. My own joke ^^ . It was something like this : Did dad take you out to fix ur face? Cause he didnt do a good job! Lol bt sadly he didnt hear me or didnyt understand it hehehje, cause he was too busy on discussing something my dad bought for me when the went out for 2 hours before. So yea lol. I pretended i didnt hear since i was laughing so hard. Yes it was a mean joke, bt he didnt get it and probably doesnt care, unless he wouldve cried or went quiet. so yeah hehehhehehhe


Oh and by the way. i have a m,essage for juli that she will probably not see anytimme too soon or anytime at all.

Nice miss!!!!


Only me and Natalie and Juli will get it so please to kill urself on pondering on what it means lol

ciao ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/8642625/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/8642625/ Mon, 01 May 2006 14:59:35 PDT

Heh i just have to tell this story.

Last week ...er Friday, we were out behind the school ffor lunch, oh adn it was civies day where we can where whatevcer we want. So for some odd reason Juli had taken off her shoes (actually it was for her to atempt to play hacksack hah didnbt work out ) Big mistake for her. She should know by now if you take something off i takke it and mock you with it hehehehe. So i took her shoes and for the entire lunch period ran around with it heheh. I got my other friends to join in the game and we all hid the shoes behind us to confuse her. What was funny was that my friend Natalie and Christina had sweaters on so they stuffed them there, and we were doing this thing like " one, and two and TOGETHER " with our hands, and when we all did that it scared juli so badly hehehehe. Lol i thought it was so funnny lol. I mightve went overboard considering i was having wayyyy too much fun. No i did not hurt the shoes, bt jlui did hurt her feet hehhe

So yeah that was Friday. Oh this weekend (yesterday or so) Me, My dad, my mom and my brother philip all went to ikea to shop for furniture for the new house. No my dad is not livin with us, it was just a good idea for him to get involved Then we went to sup[erpet and there was this parrot that was literally in loove with me. No joke. Wel maybe it just wanted to eat my sweater and my finger. But everytime i trieds to leavce, it would screech and say hello, whistle or laugh lol. He didnt like my dad though which was pretty funny. Oh and when i left it to see the fish, it started screeching like crazy! IT wass a bit toooo attached lol. But it was so cute XD lol

Then there was the squirrel outside my friends house. I think i scared her whole family when i was feedsing that one squirrel infront of them lol. They were all peering out their window lol. Aw the squirrel came to my hand and ate out of it lol im the squireel lady....er something ...

Oh and on Saturday I went to my friends apartment and we played hide and seek. Oh it was so much fun. Especially with walkie talkies. But then i got yelled at by some lady who i was disturbing. i felt bad bt apprently she never leaveas anypone alone and my friend reallu hates her as does her family. She was about to leave me alone when cass called out through the walkie talkie and she was about to leave *sigh* Oh well. I was about to snap at her when she was talking about my parents wherther thewy were dumbasses or something and i was gonna go * hey lady you got no right talking about my parents that way* thank goodness i had some self contol lol

Anyways there was more to thus weekend which made me extremely happy bt i really need to go. I need to find a way to make more money i have like $5 left from like 2 years ago when i had $125 lol. Yes im a real saver blah blah blayh..

I have nothing to say what im feeling right now . Honest\ly theres mixed emotions about everything. Mainly. Im confused. Yes.

Ciao

M.C ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/8551426/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/8551426/ Sat, 22 Apr 2006 13:38:56 PDT
How long has it been since ive been here....2 weeks....3weeks.....month? dont know. Bt im back for a half an hour so yay....

Sory i couldnt comment on anyones deviations. I was in a rush lol. Had um 79 so i kinda just scanned through them, and practically faved everything cause all; of them were really good.

On Easter, my dad had this surely fantastic idea to go hiking. So ok i went. But he calls it an adventure. So i said fine,ok. So we went to this place called websters falls ( yea named after the dictionary lol hah.... i have issues i know) So we were walking "ladedah" adn my dad was like every few minutes, " Hey heres a challenge, lets all walk over the river on a log." Did i mention that there was a big waterfall there, and from there comes a large river, with random trees fallen over the river?

So ok i tried, and i got half way before my feet started trembling, shaking wahtever. I was scared :S lol my dad has amazing balance. He walked all the was over and back so casuallu, while my brother philip crawled over since he was scared

Then there was the second "adventure". We climbed up this kinda mountain look hill with many rocks and cliffs and stuff. Geez i just had to loose my balance, reach for a trunk and that particular trunk had to be attached to a friggin big rock the size of a license plate and it just had to fall on me. Yes, it did hurt and no it didnt fall on my head, bt on my neck. How did this happen you ask? well luckily i was looking downwards when it fell. Thank goodness. My dad expected me to move when it came hah like that was gonbna happen. i was in friggin shock! oh well.

The came semi formal this past thursday "Apr 20th" for the record.

It was AMAZING. No, not an exagertion, it was. For once i was happy with the way i looked there, which really is a first. Sadly though i wasnt asked to dance *tear* bt i did have a great time I think i went a bit crazy when i danced lol. Probably pulled something.... dont know what haha.

There was someone i wanted to dance with bt he danced with someone else. Stupid girl who liked me danced with him, probably has more guts. lol. one day though i will be asked t dance *determ9ined look* bt not yet lkol.

So thats about it

P>S
------>>>>>

And this message is for my dead... i mean *dear* friend juli. I will see u at school and yes you do have good advice for ur self. A helment will help, bt thats not my usual target. I go for the shins. So watch ur self. BWAHAHAHAHAH *cough

M.C ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/8386408/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/8386408/ Thu, 06 Apr 2006 16:40:51 PDT
Another thing is im moving to Hamilton by the summer. Gah i really dont want to bt its best for my mom and brother, since we need to get back on our feet. My mom is all excited since we are gonna be really close to family and friends. Bt sadly enough i have to bike ride to my frienbds houses to visit them
the good thing is that i can sleep over at theire houses more often since i wont vbe livin near them *tear*

But the realy good thing is that i cna still go to the same school. Ive fiunallyu grown accustomed so its all good

Ive still been drawuibg. more then usually actually. i did one painting on a canvas and its real s**t lol im cutting off swearing hehe. i tried doing a cat bt it looks so cartoon. And i did it with oil oaint. its not that its hard cause i used turpentine, its just that i didnt exactly sketch out the picture before i painted...... my mistake.

So for now Juli will be scanning pictures for me. Shes supposed to do one soon...... hopefully she doesnt FORGET lol.

Oh and SEMI FORMAL is coming up. For sure i wont be asked, bt i dont care cause i love dances

I went to velocity (dance place) last friday and it was sooooooooooooo much fun ew bt this one giuy tried coming up behind me to grind with me, bt funny how i went to the bathroom at that exact moment and i didnt even nknow that guyy was coming heh, once my friends told me i nearly had a heartattck lol.

So yea theres probably some other stuff going on bt my fingers are exhausted. IUve been typoing, faving , and typouin none stop for the last.... *checks clock........ 1 hour. yea/ So yea im gonna go for now. i will try and keep up with thhings on DA as much as i can.

M.C ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/8162929/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/8162929/ Tue, 14 Mar 2006 19:49:22 PST its by Ozone and its just so catchy...

I just love March Break. no school, no people i have to tolerate (with a few exceptions), none of the hmrk, and more sleep

Juli was over the other day to play badminton with me and my dad. It was so funny. She got made fun of for sucking (on the contrary she doesnt suck, and it was slightly windy so that made it harder) hehe my dad is so funny. he amde fun of me too, bt more of juli lol. Then we played soccer and it was me and juli against my dad, my brother philip, and his friend eric ( grade 4 and 5) it was an odd game. juli kinda of stood there while i ran... kiddin juli ran it was funny cause juli runs funny hehehee

My other friend jasmine is in vermont right now, i think snowboarding. I miss her so lol. So far she hasnt broken anything which is always good

I dont think theres much other than that. My mom has been giving me a hard time, bt doesnt every mom? it was pretty funny the other day when my grandpa ( mi vovo) , my mom, and my brother were playing donkey and my grandpa kept winning hehe. bt then i beat them all whihc is always good lol.

At this moment my brother philip is for some reason a womens magzine. something about a but being huge... yea........

anyways im a bit tired, and im working on a picture of a guy hehe, which is always a big thing for me.

Oh and lately ive been having this problem. How do you talk to guys? it must be the stupidest question i have ever asked (with more exceptions...) bt yes how do you ttalk to guys and i am serious. i have problems talking to girls too. i just cant get over my shyness. and i used to think i wasnt shy...

Yes this journal is quite long and if you bothered to read through the entire thing then coodoes to you (if thats how you spell it -_-; )

and if anyone can, please answer me on that question cause ive been having that problem *sigh* cause hehe my wish for this year is that just once ONCE i cane be asked out JUST ONCE thats all im asking. then ill be happier than i am right now. so yeah.

ciao ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/8009256/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/8009256/ Sun, 26 Feb 2006 13:55:56 PST i mean like .... i dont know... im so weird. heh. its just that i dont have many friends only close ones and i dont know how to keep a conversation going.

another thing/. love absolutely hates me. i tho9ught this guy likes me, turns out he didnt. twice in a row , love has rejected me. *sigh* i guess im just gonna forget about love for awhile, cause ive been trying too hard.

Im also plannig oin starting a manga. i want it to be about romance and murder. somethign like that. thats my fav combination. bt its not gonna be stupid like people cheating on other people than those people kill those other people. there might be a slighness to that bt its not gonna be absed on that. thats just stupid. ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7925357/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7925357/ Fri, 17 Feb 2006 12:36:31 PST
sorry about not putting up any drawings and stuff, bt ive beeen a bit lazy with gym heh ^_^; ill be getting around to it soon.

oh and tell me if the same thing is happening to you, that someone just keeps calling ur house and they dont answer. and its has to have happened more than 3 times. lol

xoxo
M.C ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7859240/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7859240/ Fri, 10 Feb 2006 19:26:05 PST right now just watching everybody loves raymond hehe love that show especially Frank

*sigh*, valentine's day is coming up, and its gonna be depressing for me. everyone holding hands in the school walking down the hall , kissing. *sigh* And of course, im just gonna be walking by trying to ignore it all and itll just keep giving me a remind of everything that i lost. fun.... so yeah.

am a bit happy, i got an average of 85.5 XD. one thing came out good


and people are making me feel bad on top of that juli is calling me an idiot and im really sad cause shes making me feel bad

anyways im done for now. have nothing else to say

oh wait one more thing: tortilla chips without dip tastes like paper ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7753854/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7753854/ Mon, 30 Jan 2006 17:10:56 PST ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7714084/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7714084/ Fri, 27 Jan 2006 13:03:38 PST
i need to start finishing this one picture i did in my sketchbook, and i should paint something on my canvas... so yeah, nothing new on that note.

0h yes. i have a note to juli shvets aka kiss him already. so yes. im done for now.

p.s : dont kill me juli

OH YES I ALMOST FORGOT
HAPPY 7TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY JULI AND ANDREI EVERYONE CONGRATULATE HER ( jan 27/ 05 ) ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7392364/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7392364/ Fri, 23 Dec 2005 12:58:29 PST ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7222897/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7222897/ Sun, 04 Dec 2005 18:02:28 PST she can be so stupid im not exactly that happy lately. like i said before, i might be moving to Chile and i really dont want to... i have friends here, and i still dont want to be farther from certain people... geez i must be pathetic... mourning over a guy who doesn't like me anymore and we might not even see eachother at all for the rest of our lives. bt it still hurts a lot. i cant write poems, and when i draw pictures, they turn out violent or extremely sad, and then people tell me i need therapy... im just kidding, bt people do yell at me to forget him and i tell them i cant because ive liked him for a long time... i think since grade 4. literally and i am now in grade 9, so its been awhile. and just in case he reads this i dont care if he doesnt like me anymore, i will not give up! only one person has told me this and i think him for that. i wont give up, and believe me, even if i wanted to , it wouldnt have been easy anyhow. i still cry to dance with the wolves by ruslana which is my favourite song. I still pray that we will still somehow end up together... bt fot the tim,e being i might as well live my life. does anybody have any more advice for me? im so confused still... ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7203664/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7203664/ Fri, 02 Dec 2005 13:14:18 PST . anyways, me and juli went a bit crazy yesterday as we always do, and we made up this thing called fredish (actually i did bt it was a mistake) its a cross between french and swedish . and apparently juli and her boyfriend andrej are gonna adopt me . this all started because i might be moving to chile :S afte last night which was crazy.. yeah my eyes are still swollen... anyways, i really dont wanna go, even though its great for my bro, my mom, and my dad, it wont be for me. ill everything that i have finaly gotten. im actually known at school! so yeah cass, jjasmmine and juli want to adopt me. yeah lol. and i might be movin this summmer coming next year :S and i just started highschool! and im ranting... yes srry about that lol. i wont be gone from deviantart, and i am gonna post something up, for josh (lizard168) and something else which i decided to do bt i left at school so yeah, that whats going on... lol ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7125521/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/7125521/ Wed, 23 Nov 2005 17:30:19 PST ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6971437/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6971437/ Sun, 06 Nov 2005 12:33:31 PST this guy on msn was hitting on my lol it was pretty funny casue jasmine (good friend of mine) was tryin to hook me up with him, and it was working lol wheee im so happy that i have the highest average in my geo class (im bragging.. only here though not in my class lol) 93 lol. and i had a sleepover on friday, and juli (juri0juli ... or the other way around lol) she had the funniest laugh! ive never heard her laugh like that! it was like 4:30 in the morning and she started laughing. we laughed for about 30 mins lol (literally) ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6916277/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6916277/ Mon, 31 Oct 2005 13:10:00 PST im so happy!!!!! i was going to be a box, bt i decided not to cause it would be difficult to walk around with a box covering your body. and a big one too. so im gonna be a psychopathic person instead (which wont be too hard )

Yes im currently in a state of jealousy which is UNNECESSARY cause we are not even together............... but still, just me thinking about him dancing and *grinding********** with another girl just makes me sick right now.... AGHHHH *shakes head violently* what am i saying............... and he says what we have is brotherly love, and yet he seems to flirt with me nonetheless. AGHHH so now i listen to Dance with the Wolves by Ruslana, which just makes me cry, bt its like a friggin drug. i cant stop listening to it.... anyways, im not gonna let any of these things bring me down for halloween. IM GOING TRICK OR TREATING. are you lol? ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6780741/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6780741/ Sun, 16 Oct 2005 06:12:50 PDT . i laugh at him. Whos going out for halloween? and if your not, do not say that ur are too old. FREE CANDY PEOPLE!! bah! josh isnt going cause hes *too old* thats no excuse im going to be a box!!!!! i copied josh's bro's idea i told juli aka juri0juli and she was like *OMG THAT IS SUCH A GREAT IDEA* and then she went on about some other guy who was going to be a steak in a box and hes 16!!!!!! YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO OLD FOR TRICK OR TREATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes that is what i wanted to say today. if anyone aggrees with me, then please reply lol i lovveeeee halloween ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6728963/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6728963/ Mon, 10 Oct 2005 10:09:57 PDT ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6696627/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6696627/ Thu, 06 Oct 2005 15:52:01 PDT S Me and my family need help!!! Also, just last summer, I realized that i have a stepsister and two step brothers. My dad had apparently had another woman in his life, and he cheats on my mom, so now they are both separated. I know my mom still loves him cause she always has him over and cooks him a fabulous dinner, bt then he acts a dam ass!!! And he's so ignorant!!!!!!!!!!!! Somebody has got to pray for us cause , as my mom says, the devil is around us blocking God's light..... ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6650504/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6650504/ Sat, 01 Oct 2005 11:15:50 PDT
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

*Repost this in your jounal if you believe homophobia is wrong.* ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6223730/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6223730/ Sun, 14 Aug 2005 10:12:19 PDT it was a dream come true. now its his turn to take the risk lol. ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6006272/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/6006272/ Fri, 22 Jul 2005 16:23:34 PDT ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/5754563/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/5754563/ Sat, 25 Jun 2005 15:15:24 PDT
i was so close to see joshua this summer! i was so close............. im only 14 and he has to be 15 to see me. (hes 14 as well) and guess whenim allowed to start dating? after university! by my dad not my mom. my moms cool. she understands things lol *crying* i was so close... 3 years of waiting ahead of me......

i gotta be patient ... ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/5400140/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/5400140/ Thu, 19 May 2005 08:39:21 PDT stupid computer!!! ]]> ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/4327676/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/4327676/ Sat, 15 Jan 2005 14:53:33 PST ~xoxmelixox http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/4327673/ http://xoxmelixox.deviantart.com/journal/4327673/ Sat, 15 Jan 2005 14:52:22 PST ~xoxmelixox