http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:xxkyokoxx&section=today deviantART RSS for by:xxkyokoxx en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 17:02:04 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/28331095/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/28331095/ Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:40:50 PST it's not simple,
but we can make the climb.

struggles make us stronger,
pain makes us work,
and love makes us realize,
life is worth it.


these smiles are worth struggle.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/27365259/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/27365259/ Tue, 22 Sep 2009 20:20:24 PDT it was, is, really sweet.
i rarely get flowers.. okayyy i never get flowers. =]


i don't know how to say it.
i don't want to sound like a fool.
or an idiot.
or a combination of both.

i like spending time with you.
and i'm sad when i don't get to.

not to sound clingy.
and not to sound gross...
but i reek of sweat and lake water.



]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/27318717/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/27318717/ Sun, 20 Sep 2009 11:47:19 PDT
i don't know if this is me, the cover i put on, is that me? it's not all me, that much i know. or is it not a cover, is it just me being happy?

what am i waiting for... time? a sign? a truck to come hit me in the face and by that will tell me what to do?


i just know that there is more...
more than my random assurances.
i am nervous, i am happy, i am scared.
scared that you won't like what you see.

i'm messed up.
i'm not perfect.
i've been broken before.
look a little harder, maybe you'll see it.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/26200228/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/26200228/ Sun, 26 Jul 2009 21:55:38 PDT
so much has happened in the time that has passed this year. i have changed, i have grown, i don't even know how to explain it all.

i am eighteen.
i graduated highschool and have left all that i have known.
i was admitted into the university of washington and will attend there in the fall, my number one school.

i recently bought a new canon powershot 970IS and a canon 10-22mm.
totally worth the money spent.

again, hello everyone.
i'll be uploading some new stuff.
hope you like it.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/24627582/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/24627582/ Wed, 06 May 2009 22:48:29 PDT please vote for me and my mom!
[link]id=2366979&scid=431

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/23296476/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/23296476/ Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:16:28 PST
for quiet sometime.



it's been a new semester for a few weeks now. i'm just trying to stay focused on school, which is really hard in my last semester.

i've also been getting out and shooting whenever i can on those good days. i have fallen even more in love with seabeck when its sunny.

so i might play tennis on the school team, its my last year and i want to be on a real team. its just going to be hard to balance everything.

tell me how everything's going you guys!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/22603391/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/22603391/ Thu, 15 Jan 2009 19:36:21 PST
what to say? about my life? about yours?
you tell me.

this year has been going so fast, sometimes i just have to stop and look.
because my minutes tick past like seconds.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/22003164/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/22003164/ Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:05:46 PST some new idea,
some new photo.

once i'm done with this cold i will get out there in the cold.
right now i just want to stay warm.

my birthday in two days.
ew.

happy holidays everyone!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/21953780/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/21953780/ Fri, 12 Dec 2008 19:57:02 PST
Things have been so crazy, senior year has been flying by so fast, it's hard to stop sometimes and realize that this year is my last year. Kinda sad.

But things have been really amazing too. I turned in my college applications so I'm not stressing like a lot of people. I got accepted to WSU with a five thousand dollar scholarship which I wasn't expecting AT ALL. I have gotten a job at our local Papa Murphy's and made new friends. I have also learned how amazing it is to actually be responsible for yourself, with your money and with driving. (I got my driver's license!)

This year has been a big change for me.
A change I really needed.
I turn eighteen next week (DEC 17), I'm scared, I am already regretting getting older. But it will be another chapter of my life and the ending of another.

P.S. got my scans and I am (again!) cancer free!
P.S.S. seniors won the pep assembly today!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/21491062/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/21491062/ Fri, 14 Nov 2008 19:48:22 PST flying through my head.

i snatched it,
i caught it for you.

then.
just then,
i wrote it down.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/21207324/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/21207324/ Tue, 28 Oct 2008 18:34:52 PDT We may wish that we could change everything.
We may wish we could be someone else.
We may wish that we were somewhere else.

But in the end.
As the day comes to a close.
We realize that we are,
The person we have always wanted to be.
No matter what happens,
Or the decisions that people around you make.

Only you can change you.
Only you can move on.
Only you can pick yourself up,
After you've fallen.

At the end of the day, we are who we have desired to be.
You may not see it yet,
But it's in there.

I am learning to fly.


That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and
You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/21007736/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/21007736/ Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:33:55 PDT
School and college applications/essays, and just making sure that everything is done is eating away my time.

I do have my photos in a local Coffee Shop and surprisingly four of them have sold!

Sadly there is no profit, the frames were very expensive, hopefully I will break even.

Homecoming is this weekend, I am ready to have a good time!

How is everyone doing?

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/20495608/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/20495608/ Sun, 14 Sep 2008 19:09:58 PDT But school is killing me.

Once I am done with my homework I usually don't want to sit on the computer.

I promise I will respond to everything soon.
Sorry guys! :/

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/20128849/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/20128849/ Sun, 24 Aug 2008 11:14:34 PDT !

How is everyone? Good I hope, if not talk to me? I haven't blogged lately so I haven't been really talking to anyone, and I feel bad.

For me, school is starting in about over a week, which is good... and bad. I don't mind school I just mind the part where I am a senior. I'm going to have so many more responsibilities: apply for college, that includes essays and filling out LONG applications, volunteering a lot so it will look good for college, and maintaining my grades to like perfect status. Yuck.

Not to mention I consider myself socially awkward, I wonder if people think that I am. It would be so much easier if I could read minds... or maybe I worry to much about what they think. Uggghhh...

Anyways, a big THANKS and to everyone who has commented my photos/journals or just viewed my work, I appreciate it, and I will get to all your messages soon!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/19956167/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/19956167/ Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:40:55 PDT
Acutally I have been home for like a week but I have been too lazy to journal.

Not much to write, well, I am sure I have stuff to say but it is so hot I really don't want to write much.

I'll write more later, oh, and thanks and a great big to everyone that replied to my last journal, your encouragement and support means a lot to me.

Well I am burning up, good day to all.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/19650737/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/19650737/ Mon, 28 Jul 2008 21:41:13 PDT think and not having my mother make me hurry through the process, then I just take shitty pictures, excuse my french.

So my stuff doesn't look too great but I still want to buy more lenses. *sigh* I need to stop wanting to buy stuff cause soon I won't have any money left. Haha, good thing is I am cheap and I take forever to really decide on purchasing it, that probably wouldn't be so if I had a job.

So besides the little slump I'm in, I currently am in Napa, CA enjoying and at times avioding (spelling error I know!) the company of my family. Soon we'll be on to Lake Tahoe and Reno, Nevada.

So right now I have really nothing else to say, I guess just letting everyone know that I am still alive and not that I am ignoring you, I am just really lazy.

TTFN.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/19436273/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/19436273/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:42:40 PDT
I know, no one has been nagging me, but I feel bad because I haven't replied to anyone's messages and comments. I've been gone for like two weeks.

There is so much to say, I can't say it all now. But sometime in the near future I will elaborate on my travels.

Thanks so much for being patient with me, I hope that everyone is doing well.

Muuccchhhh Loovvvesss,
Laura

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/19099531/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/19099531/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 20:47:34 PDT
I must say, it has changed me. I never knew how much I could change in one week. Last Sunday afternoon I checked in, met all the nurses (some whom I have had) and turned in my medication and such. So I was getting ready to go outside when I see this old guy, he was loud and I can't really find a word to describe him, I guess flamboyant, but that doesn't really sound right... anyways, he wants me to sing or something and I said (and begged him) no, please don't make me blush, right off the bat I could tell he was someone I should avoid, all he would do is cause me embarrassment. He still made me run though a line of people, and yes, I still blushed. Over the days I learned his name to be Mooselips (Moose for short, all the staff have funny names) and I learned that he wasn't so bad.

I'll come back to him later. So I met my cabin mates (and my cabin) only minutes later, and boy was I nervous. My first impression of Sammie, Lauren, Catie, Alex, and Angie was that they were nice and that I could get along with them, and in the end my first impression was right. At times it felt like I was the only one who wanted to participate in the activities , but in my life I haven't met girls my age (that are complete strangers) who were so nice. And if they are reading this I just want to thank them, I just got home a few hours ago and I miss you girls already. (Daffy and Yoshi too!)

There are so many little things to talk about. First day was somewhat agonizing, I was a little homesick and I didn't feel completely in tune with everyone, but as the days went on my shyness began to fade away. I sang the songs before every meal, I talked, listened, and finally felt like I was apart of the big, awkward family that is Camp Goodtimes on Vashon Island.

I might go into more depth later but I just wanted to list off a few events that happened:
x. Daboata (Argossy cruise to Seattle)
x. Skipp-Bo and RAGE with the cabin
x. Whip cream fight (my clothes still smell and I still have a black eye from it)
x. The pool
x. The dance (were I got rejected BUT I still had an amazing time )
x. Archery (I got a bullseye)
x. Bike riding down a root infested hill where I almost ran into multiple trees and bushes
x. Camp fire night
x. Fishing, I caught one of the biggest sharks ever!
x. And all those random moments that I will ALWAYS remember!

And a final goodbye to all my ladies who were in CABIN SEVEN!

RRRAAAAGGGGEEEEE!

Oh, yeah, back to Mooselips, thanks so much for somewhat breaking my shy shell, I guess it wasn't just you that did it, it was the whole camp that for once made me feel alright in my own skin.

Hopefully I'll get some time to write more later!

Much loooovvveessssss,
Laura

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18918031/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18918031/ Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:55:06 PDT

I'm so so so sorry that I haven't replied to everyone's comments and messages, I have been so busy/stressed out in the past week I promise I'll get to them before on camp on Sunday! I'm really excited for camp, its with the American Cancer Society so its for "special" kids like me haha.

I haven't taken any new photos, its sad because we haven't had even ONE decent day yet, this is complete BS!

I was tagged by
Rules
1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post eight things about him/herself in their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose and tag eight people and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.

1. I hate... no dislike people that talk about stuff that they really don't know anything about.
2. I get nervous/freak out over the silliest of things.
3. I'm a perfectionist.
4. I love being in nature, I feel at home.
5. I wish I could do karate moves.
6. People say I am smart, but I don't think that I am at ALL!
7. I love science, even though half the time I don't understand it.
8. I am environmental hippie, and I love being one.

THOSE WHO ARE TAGGED!





]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18582355/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18582355/ Fri, 30 May 2008 18:59:33 PDT

Also went to REI to check out hiking boots and such, I am going to spend a heck of a lot of money but what the hey, why not? I want this summer to be bomb so I am shelling out the cash to buy a lot of camera gear!

I delivered my prints to Kathy (hospital school teacher) today too. She really liked them, awww, now that I think about it, I should have given her one! Jeeze, I am so stupid, I need a brain.. But she, or everyone at school I guess, gave me a one year subscription to a photography magazine, I don't exactly remember the name right now, I think it was LensWork but I will check... I am really excited to get it and read, learn, and look at other peoples amazing work! It was also nice to see her, see everyone, part of me is still back there and I enjoy visiting every three months to catch up on everything.

So today was good, hopefully tomorrow I will go to the movies with Katie and definatly study for the SAT!

muucchhh loove

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18515262/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18515262/ Mon, 26 May 2008 17:31:10 PDT
Thus summer is going to be BOMB... wow no says that anymore. Well, I had better get working on my research paper... the final is due tomorrow and I still have more to write!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18371394/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18371394/ Sat, 17 May 2008 18:16:45 PDT
I didn't do too much today, just layed in the sun and worked on homework... not very exciting but productive.

So now I am editing stuff on photoshop.. not very interesting... but tomorrow I am going to Heather's for a Hot Pot meal Should be tasty!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18280121/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18280121/ Sun, 11 May 2008 20:00:23 PDT
Happy Birthday Tanner, I miss you, so, so much.



]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18216257/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18216257/ Wed, 07 May 2008 17:55:04 PDT
I have decided that now I am not going to focus on just taking pictures, I am going to focus on the quality, making sure the colors, sharpness, and balance are in general just put together well.

I also saw Tanner's family this past weekend, and it was a big relief. I hadn't been able to attend the memorial, so I never really had the closure, or I guess relief from seeing them. I when I gave each them a hug I knew that everything was going to be alright, maybe not in the prefect sense, but now I can move on. I still miss him terribly, I think of him everyday. His birthday is on May 11, he would be eighteen. I hope that him and Grandma are having a good time up in heaven.

I'm going to go work on them on Photoshop, I hope that everyone is doing well!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18171514/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/18171514/ Sun, 04 May 2008 20:06:45 PDT I am so tired.
And angry, I have been cussing all day.

Ugh. I need sleep.
I'll update a happy blog later.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17981701/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17981701/ Tue, 22 Apr 2008 18:54:31 PDT I refuse to be another statistic, I refuse to sit here while the glaciers slip father into our oceans, taking with them hope and faith to stop this monster, global warming. I refuse to fade into the greater population of the world without having my say, my chance at making a difference. I will be part of the effort to stop the exponential increase of our world’s global temperature; I will dig my hands into the earth to plant new life. My efforts will not be in vain, I will give my time, my knowledge, and my input to push the animals that are close to extinction, to complete destruction, back into life. I will be the voice of reason; I will be the face of change.

I just wrote this for the beginning of my PBI leadership essay. You can tell me if it sucks or not... I just kinda wrote it.

Sorry I've been so behind, alot of work to be done this week.

I also brought my lens to Ritz and told them I wanted a new one since the manual focus in mine is grinding, so it should be coming soon.

Plus I am writing a paper about genetic engineering and I found this quote, and it really impacted me, its scary:

In George Orwell’s Animal Farm he wrote this: “Twelve voices were shouting in anger, and they were all alike. No question, now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”


Happy Earth Day Everyone!
RECYCLE. REUSE. REDUCE!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17871463/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17871463/ Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:09:03 PDT
Much loooovveeesss!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17768539/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17768539/ Wed, 09 Apr 2008 17:51:48 PDT

Umm but yeah, the weather people say that Saturday is supposed to be sunny and I've decided that I'm actually going to do something with someone... what I'm doing, I have no clue. Oh, yeah, doctor called today and apparently there's nothing wrong with my arm, BUT there is something there and I want to know and they didn't tell my mom who talked to them! Errrggg.

MORE PICTURES. I have a ton, I think I'll save some to update later.

By the way, the pictures that have been updated in the past two weeks are from my new lens which I absolutely LOVE, the kit lens now feels small and cheap (which it is!). I don't know if I can ever go back to non-L haha, what an expensive hobby.

EDIT: Wooohooo for 1,500 pageviews!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17720501/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17720501/ Sun, 06 Apr 2008 18:08:41 PDT just because you can't see it, doesn't me it isn't there...

That line has been passing through my mind a lot lately, and I know why, but it doesn't mean I'm going to tell you... jeeze, I think people are actually reading this thing now haha.

Well, partly it feels like have been in hibernation for the past few months, I can't remember the last time I got out and actually did something. I guess I shouldn't expect people to call me, but come Friday and Saturday I do, but I am always disappointed when nothing happens, you think I would be getting used to it by now. But that was just my little rant...

Not much else has been going on, worked on physics today with some friends and had another lazy day... like yesterday... and the day before that. School tomorrow, yuck.

Friday can't come fast enough, I need to get over my pessimistic outlook on things. If one of my friends is taking the time to read this, you have my permission to beat me up haha.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17687817/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17687817/ Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:04:43 PDT
Anyways I had a lot of fun on my trip, took LOTS and LOTS of pictures, and sadly many of them didn't turn out too well, which is okay, I'll just have to experiment with Photoshop! I took bunches of pictures on the beach and of the forest so it will probably take me a while to load them all...

ANNNDDDD.. the Gala which I went to a few weeks ago was amazing! (I promised an update on it!!) I meant so many people there, it was fantastic being able to talk about my photography and why I enjoy it so much with those who run Make a Wish, I hoped they enjoyed having me there because I was static the whole night! Before the Gala my mother helped me do my hair and get everything done and for once we were on time for something! Trina showed us (me and my mom) around and introduced us to some very important people, who as I said before run Make a Wish and do all that important stuff. It was a very emotional night, during dinner I heard about other children's struggles and how Make a Wish changed their lives, I almost started crying! But all in all it was an amazing weekend that I will never forget!

Today was a lazy day, I basically sat around... I did watch Kiki's Delivery Service though!

Two days left of Spring Break maaannn...

Current Clubs:


(just joined)

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17675023/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17675023/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:24:24 PDT


]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17565687/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17565687/ Fri, 28 Mar 2008 22:41:52 PDT
I'll take plenty of pictures and when I get back I'll update.
I've just been so busy haha.

ITS SPRING BREAK!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17530409/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17530409/ Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:27:33 PDT
Still have to update on the Gala. Spring break is in TWO days!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17431316/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17431316/ Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:21:41 PDT
But this week also has been good because I have been receiving many opportunities concerning my photos! Getty Images wants to possibly do a story on me (because I was a Make-A-Wish child and they are affiliated with MAW) and even include my photos! Also Kathy (my hospital school teacher) wants some photos for volunteer appreciation week AND I might be helping a woman who works at a bank around here with some photography or something, my mom mentioned that briefly.

So its been a good week, I am just TIRED.
And I have to update on the Gala.

Keep looking at my new stuff guys, I'll be updating more photos soon!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17369139/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17369139/ Sun, 16 Mar 2008 19:19:00 PDT
The gala was amazing, I'm gonna update on that later.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17132642/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17132642/ Sat, 01 Mar 2008 12:38:33 PST
I also visited hospital school, and if Kathy is reading this I say, "Hi," haha. I brought some of my photos, one of me, Matt, Tanner, and Kathy, and I gave it to her. I also was able to talk to some of the kids there and answer some questions about what its like going through being sick and stuff. It was really nice, they probably didn't enjoy as I did, they didn't look very happy, but who could? Being sick and scared and overall not good, I wouldn't be happy either, and about a year ago when I was sitting in those seats, I wasn't happy. But anyways, I enjoyed answering their questions and I wish I could've said more to them, been more encouraging, but I was nervous, and at loss of words. I guess I would've said what I had believed when I was in the hospital: you take things as they are, however bad they may be, and you work on them or fight, and in this case you beat them. I tried to make the point that whatever you set your mind to, you can achieve, and it doesn't matter the way you look. I could care less if someone is bald, has no eyebrows, or has numerous tubes shoved down their nose or connected to their chest, underneath it all, you are a person and a strong one at that. But overall I enjoyed talking to them, it took my mind off my upcoming scans and such.

In other news, Tanner's mom sent me a card and some pictures of him. It's almost been a month since his passing and I look at his picture everyday and am thinking about him constantly. It was nice to hear her words, I know that I am still very very sad, but they gave me peace.

So yesterday was a very good day, sad but good, and I learned a lot.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17047954/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/17047954/ Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:29:06 PST
Just got back from Stevens, I'll update some of my new stuff when I finish my paper.

I've also decided to sell prints. Yay!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16945855/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16945855/ Mon, 18 Feb 2008 12:43:13 PST
School tomorrow... Yuck. I hate waking up at six in the morning. After about 2 months it gets pretty old.

But AH-HAH! I woke up this morning, and amazing, there was sun! So I'll have to get off my lazy butt and go outside.

I got some great shots at Pt. Townsend the other day, ya'll should check it out.

I am soooo ready for warm sunny days, bring on summer I say!

And, if anyone has any comments on the EF 28-135mm f/3.5-5.6 IS USM that I am considering getting I would love to hear them!

Much loveeesss everyone.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16907085/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16907085/ Fri, 15 Feb 2008 23:24:07 PST
Going to Port Townsend tomorrow to take some photos and enjoy the beach. Hopefully its not too cold tomorrow!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16870481/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16870481/ Wed, 13 Feb 2008 19:50:52 PST Not much has been happening lately, just the boring same ol' stuff. Yesterday was sunny and I could see blue sky! It was amazing, it made me so happy. So anyways I took my camera out and took some shots, I might put some up, they aren't very good. Today I was feeling really disconnected from everyone, its like, I don't even talk much anymore. I feel so distant. Like when I get to school I can't wait until I get to go home. Any suggestions? >_<

Valentines Day is tomorrow... damn. Valentines Day makes people who don't like have a boyfriend... or for you guys... girlfriends... feel stupid, I guess.

Photography class is AMAZING. Like omg haha. After one year of having my camera I finally know how to work it. Took me a while, eh? But its nice now that I can go out look at the light, see how everything looks together whether I like it or not, etc. But yeah, its basically amazing.

I'm also looking around for lenses, I think I am going to get a Canon EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro USM definitely and I am looking for a walk-about lens, like maybe the Canon EF-S 17-85mm f/4-5.6 IS USM. So if you have any suggestions just let me know.

Well, time for my homework. Oh, and, I've decided the name for the third book that I will be writing (will be is the key word), it's going to be about my dear friend Tanner. I hope he knows up there that he is such an inspiration to me. I love him so much.

Corners of Audrey.
California Skies.
Shy Girl's Bakery.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16729302/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16729302/ Mon, 04 Feb 2008 19:11:49 PST should i be putting a watermark on my stuff?
i think so eh.
finals are over with, i am so glad! i can actually breathe now.
tolo is this saturday, i don't want to go. i asked a guy and he said he already had a date. crap. now i wish i had asked him earlier.
things are okay, there isn't a second that goes by when i don't think about tanner or grandma. my eyes always are drawn to the pictures that surround my desk.
washington weather is making me depressed. either i am retarded and don't know how to take pictures or the lighting here is blah. yuck, i need summer sunshine! YAR!
i'll write more later.
ttyl.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16633517/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16633517/ Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:17:16 PST my grandmother passed away today.
i went to the nursing home to see her.
she was unresponsive.
it was hard sitting there, watching her breathe. but i hope that she realizes i was there, that i love her, and that i said goodbye.
this week has been the worst week ever.
i love you grandma.
i love you tanner.
i will miss you both so much.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16602163/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16602163/ Sun, 27 Jan 2008 18:27:17 PST what a silly thing. making you cry all the time.

i love you tanner perry, i will never forget you as long as i live.

edit.
with you, a lot of things didn't matter. you were always happy, maybe not always optimistic, but you were always happy. the first moment i saw you in the hospital i knew that we'd be friends, and i knew i would end up liking you, and i did. i was so happy when you came over and we went to my friends sixteenth b-day bash, i couldn't believe that you agreed to come with me.

you treated me like a normal person. even when normal was the last thing i ever was. we rocked hospital school, we made it fun, we turned it into conversation time rather than schoolwork.

i can't believe that this has actually happened, you're gone, but i'm still here. it's wrong. you should still be here.

you'll always be in my heart and in my mind. you're my hero tanner, you stood up to cancer, and fought it. you'll always be my hero.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16587947/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16587947/ Sat, 26 Jan 2008 21:07:36 PST Who am I this very second in time? I am me. Whatever I am destined to become will be decided on my past, current, and future actions and decisions. No matter what I try to do I will be affected by the people around me and their choices. What I am now is not what I will be in the future. Temptations, distractions and almost failure is something that I must face and overcome. I understand now that I have the power and strength to overcome anything, I have proved it to myself over and over again. I guess now I just have to prove it to the non-believers.

Something I wrote last year for my English class. Today was my Make-A-Wish art party in Seattle. It was alot of fun, and it was nice to spend time with kids like me and help raise money for the foundation. I made a paper/tissue paper... I can't spell the word. Maybe somebody can help me out haha. But anyways I brought some of my photos and let the Make-A-Wish volunteers take the ones they wanted that they are going to auction off. I'm excited to have my art go to an amazing cause.

But I should go. Finals in two days and I haven't even started to study.

[ttyl]

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16541351/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16541351/ Wed, 23 Jan 2008 18:00:11 PST So I got home and I was all excited because I was going to go for a bike ride and bring my camera in case I found anything extremely exciting.

But when I was attempting to clean my lenses with my new lens cleaner stuff it exploded on my camera and myself, especially my eyes. So I was freaking out because it was on my camera... and I thought I was going to go blind because I got all of this crap in my eye.

But my camera still works and my eye is functioning.

Needless to say, I never went on my bike ride.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16511679/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16511679/ Mon, 21 Jan 2008 19:12:21 PST I have been pulled apart.
Rip my lungs from my chest,
And squeeze the blood,
From my pumping heart,
It will be nothing compared,
To what I am feeling now.

I love you Tanner. I'll always be with you.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16436628/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16436628/ Wed, 16 Jan 2008 18:17:18 PST Listening to Green Day.
And of course,
They don't suck,
You just don't know,
What is good.
Listen to the lyrics,
You might just understand.
Now,
Doing History homework,
Dancing around,
Reminds me,
I need to ask that guy to Tolo,
Yeah like he'd ever say yes.
Finals are coming,
Shit I'm gonna die.
Apprently at first lunch,
There was a fight,
I didn't hear about until sixth,
I am so out of the loop.
Can't wait to go back to Hawaii,
That was the best time,
I think I've ever had.
I need to make my photography better,
I wish people would buy it,
I can't wait until the weekend,
Sleeping in amazing.
And speakingof movies,
Sweeney Todd was amazing,
Too.
More people,
Need to talk to me on AIM,
Maybe then,
I wouldn't be so bored.
So everyone sign up on DA,
Be creative.
Tests are over but more are coming,
Hell, hell, hell.
Ask that guy to Tolo,
Try to look amazing,
Fail miserably,
Speak intelligently,
Don't laugh too much,
Defiently don't snort,
Don't ask why,
I'm writing in verse,
These are,
Just thoughts in my mind.
The trials,
Of a life.

Haha, I posted this on myspace, I bet people think I'm crazy. Maybe I am.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16349832/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16349832/ Thu, 10 Jan 2008 20:16:45 PST
I wrote some more paragraphs on Corners, but not much. Take a look if you wish. :] Oddly I was feeling creative so I actually wrote something, that hasn't happened in a long time.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16334437/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16334437/ Wed, 09 Jan 2008 18:20:40 PST

Other than that... not much has happened. Yesterday it snowed and I made a snow man. He's still standing, but he looks kind of sick. The guy I like is actually talking to me now, which is odd, and beyond the realm of my understanding haha. I'm just working on school and trying to have a life.

Buhaha totally amazing. Yes, I am crazy.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16230481/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16230481/ Wed, 02 Jan 2008 19:48:08 PST
Hawaii could be described as completely amazing, on the first day I met the most amazing people too. Robert Kent from Robert Kent Photography who is also affiliated with CompassionateEye and Brian Kossen from Big Bamboo Stock Photography based in Hawaii. It was nice, Robert met me at my hotel and we met up with Brian outside and took his car to a local place to eat. I had fish tacos, they were delicious. After that we went to Brian's house and I got to meet his dog, Jake, and see his house, which was adorable, I also saw the printer he uses for his photos, which was GIGANTIC! After that we went drove around the island, stopping and taking pictures of this and that. It was nice to pick their brains for about three hours, and I also got a lot of great shots which I will update later! ;D

In Hawaii I also went on a helicopter ride which was somewhat sickening but the amazingness overwhelmed that. I now know what it feels like to be a bird, flying in the sky. I also got some great shots up in the air too, it was fortunate that I was able to sit up front by the window.

We had a lot of free time so we went to the beach a lot and I like to think I got tan, even though I didn't heehee. We went to Hanama Bay and did a lot of the things that I suppose tourists would do. Well, expect, I got to swim with dolphins at Sea Life Park. But we did go to a Luau at Paradise Cove, I had a good time and I met another Wish Family there, it was nice to hear their story.

Well right now I am very sick. I had a cold before we left on vacation and luckily it went away, but now its back. I have a chest cough and a stuffy nose. But all's good. I'll update more later!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16093589/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/16093589/ Tue, 25 Dec 2007 12:56:10 PST
See ya'll later!

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15964078/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15964078/ Sun, 16 Dec 2007 18:41:22 PST

The cookie party was horrible. I was basically sitting there for an hour and a half faking smiling and barely listening to all the other ladies blab, it wouldn't be so bad if I was acutally friends with those people, but since I'm not... I got an ugly ornament too, it's funny, I always pick out the butt-ugly ones haha.

Last night wasn't too pleasent either. You know when your half asleep, and you know your in pain sort of but you don't wake up? Well, that happened to me. I woke up and my stomach hurt SO bad, and I don't know why. I didn't eat anything weird or do anything different, but I mean I know pain, and it HURT! I really wished I had some leftout oxy (from my previous experiances, I'm not a druggie haha) cause I would've taken it. Instead I tried not to breathe in too much because that made it hurt more, eventually it went away and I rolled over and fell to sleep.

Last night there was this earth show (it wasn't planet earth) but something like that, maybe 'earths wonders', but whatever they showed the ice caps and all that junk, it was b-e-a-t-i-f-u-l! And that got me thinking of what I really wanted to do in life, I want my photos to influence people. To, you know, make people understand how we only have one earth and if we screw it up, we're screwed. Because we cannot live on the moon (even though Bush wants to make it possible, how about we just throw him up there? ) I just want people to see how we are ruining the beauty every day, and its sad and disgraceful.... and I just want to do something about it. Because right now, it seems like no one else is.

So I guess that's all the raving I have for now. Yeah, I know guys, I need to get more pictures on here... I'm such a disappointment.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15923157/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15923157/ Thu, 13 Dec 2007 20:06:12 PST
As of now, I am extremely excited! My trip is approach swiftly. For those of you who don't know, I am going to Hawaii to swim with dolphins, ride around in a helicopter, and work with TWO professional photographers. It is going to be an amazing experience funded by the Make-A-Wish foundation!

Also the Make-A-Wish people are having a Gala thingy with an auction and they want to auction off some of the photos I take in Hawaii, I can't believe I've been given this opportunity! Make-A-Wish people (like people who work there ) amaze me. You don't even have to ask they just do stuff and.. are just amazing. I will never forget this.

Christmas break is soon. YES! But I also have to go to this Cookie Party and the friend that I am... not friends with anymore at all is going to be there. What do I do? This is going to be so awkward, and I don't want to go, I know no one will talk to me. My friend and her mom are going to give me dirty looks all the time. What do I do... again?

Advice would be helpful!
Happy Holidays everyone! (and I have to say that to be politically correct! )

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15642134/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15642134/ Fri, 23 Nov 2007 21:46:44 PST _>
I get my scans this next week.
I am so nervous, I don't know what I'll do if it comes back, ahhh. X_O

I don't feel like writing much, so I'll write more later.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15381841/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15381841/ Mon, 05 Nov 2007 18:22:17 PST its time to clean away old memories,
its time to dust the cobwebs from the corners of my mind.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15351046/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15351046/ Sat, 03 Nov 2007 19:17:50 PDT fuck.
....
I hate technology.
My camera wasn't loading my pic's to the computer.
So being the idiot I am I tried to fix it.
Instead I deleted all the pictures on my memory card.

Including the awesome pictures I took today of some tigers, elephants, and otters at the zoo.
SHIT!!!! AHHHHH.

I am so... PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!
I was going to enter those into Reflections.

Uhhhhggggg.
Well. Just to let everyone know, those were some awesome photos. Seriously. I thought they were some amazing stuff and I am really sad that I was such an idiot and lost them. I guess that means I have to go back to the zoo sometime. Sometimes digital cameras are HORRIBLE!

Other than that Career Day at the zoo was soooo COOOLLL! I got to go behind the scenes and stuff. Got alot of information about programs and opportunities tooo!!!

Other than that not much is up. Physics tomorrow... again. Physics just... never goes away hah. Oh.. and I'm reading Eclpise for the second time.

*explodes*

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15262443/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15262443/ Sun, 28 Oct 2007 18:00:43 PDT Then I changed my mind.

Last night was fun.. but horrible. I volunteered for the Haunted Barn in the fairgrounds for like three nights and last night was my well... last night working. So a couple of friends promised they would come. Some didn't, and it made me sad.

School tomorrow, yuck. Physics is still kicking my butt.

I am excited about my book, mostly excited about the idea of writing one. Ideas are in my head all the time and I need to piece them together.

Hmm anyways speaking of last night I was supposed to be a creepy pregnant woman who would scream at people, and well, some people actually hit me the stomach. I got revenge. When someone would poke me I would get in their face and scream at them as loud as I could.

It was a success, and yet, it was a complete failure.

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15207050/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/15207050/ Wed, 24 Oct 2007 19:08:10 PDT
It's like ever since the whole fight with my friend anything I say to anymore I like scrutinize. The things she said to me, the things she did... I couldn't imagine doing that to anyone or saying that to anyone, being so rude, so.... I can't find a word, careless? The things she said to me made me feel like I was the lowest piece of shit that ever existed on the face of this planet... maybe even the whole universe. And I know, in my own heart that I'm not like that. I would never even consider treating someone like that. I don't know were she got off with the idea that even though she hated me and our friendship after eleven years she had the right to say those things.
I brought up my whole umm.. medical experiences? She said I always brought that up, I'm sorry I can't magically get over that, those memories and experiences are going to be with me the rest of my life...
But anyways... I need to stop ranting about that... Today it was raining when I walked home from school, it matched my mood. I was actually happy it was raining today. Hmmmm...
I'm disappointed in the way she treated me, I doesn't matter that it was me, I mean it does, but would she talk to someone else like this? My whole point isn't to rag on her, I mean what's done is done. I guess I'm just struggling with the thought of if I'm really like that to people... If that is how I present myself to people or if she totally got the wrong perspective.
I love my friends. They are what hold me up and pull all my loose and crazy ends together. They're what keep me strong. I wish they knew that, I hope they know that. It's too corny for me to say aloud. Only on the secrecy of a computer journal.

On other matter's I need a NEWNEWNEW hair style... Anyone have any ideas? I already have a fo-hawk. And I really don't want to dye my hair. Plus I have another idea for another series of books, vampire-werewolf love saga. I'll post the stuff I wrote for creative writing,

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/14889507/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/14889507/ Tue, 02 Oct 2007 18:05:08 PDT
Something I wrote for Creative Writing class. I'm actually enjoying that class, even though its completely boring, that makes no sense. I must like it because I get to write... uhhyeah.

So today I found a slug in my driveway, hint the picture. And my friend came over to work on stuff, and she ran him over! I was very sad to loose my model. He (or she) liked that camera... I suppose being so slow it would have to.

Anywho, today was a good day.
Overall it was a very good day.
:]

]]> ~xxkyokoxx http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/14691911/ http://xxkyokoxx.deviantart.com/journal/14691911/ Tue, 18 Sep 2007 18:15:55 PDT I am really happy that I have been figuring out my camera lately. It makes me a lot happier to be able to push buttons and understand what they do.
But I can't talk long, Physics test tomorrow and I really want to pass it!
I'll update later!



]]> ~xxkyokoxx