http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:xxslashedxx&section=today deviantART RSS for by:xxslashedxx en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 19:13:52 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/23893662/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/23893662/ Thu, 26 Mar 2009 02:17:02 PDT
I have been through a lot of stressful shit lately. I graduate this May and I've been used a few times in the past couple months, but I am totally past it.

The only thing that's recently been bothering me is the fact that I got put on anti-depressants and am back in therapy, but it's not seeming to work. Instead of making me feel better, I feel more dead. -__-


And I gave love a bit, played the field. I am falling in love with one of my good friends. He wrote me a song that I heard for the first time today and I am just so intrigued by him. And from everything he tells me, he is feeling the same way. He lives a state away, but we are seeing each other soon. We've known each other for such a long while now. (:






So, in spite of some of that shitty life stuff that always brings people down,
I am good. (:


Go add me on myspace!!
myspace(dot)com/88797428

]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/20801718/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/20801718/ Thu, 02 Oct 2008 23:00:42 PDT
It's weird how when I reflect back on everything right now, I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be, I'm no one near who I wanted to be.

I'm failing everything. I used to do so well in school. Now I'll barely make it to college. I have a 1.1 GPA and am very discouraged. My career aspirations seem so far out of reach now.

I quit my job. I've been umemployed. The few places I have applied haven't hired me because the day I called and quit my job, the store manager understood. But no one else knew I guess and my manager "fired" me so I'm pretty much fucked for now. Plus, trying to just pass my senior year has me so tied up that I don't have time for a job anyway.

The parents are still going to get a divorce. And get this, I moved out of my mom's and am living with my dad in his new house out in Rio Rancho. From all the things you used to know about me on here and how much I hated my father, you probably would have never assumed I'd be living with him. It's great to know some people in the world can change for the good. [=

I fell in love.. Have been for months with a boy who used to make me so happy. Every moment I spent with him, I cherish still to this day. I don't know what happened. He said I became too demanding or something of that sort and now we just don't seem to get along. He treats me like shit, even as friends. Last night I told him I'm done with being treated horrible and I deserve to wake up feeling happy and great each morning. I also said that I'd still love to be his girlfriend but I'm done waiting for him to change and I'm done waiting for him to decide when the time of day will happen for me. I said I don't understand what time will offer in the future that I can't already offer now. He said he thought we'd be better as friends and I agreed. I told him I still loved him, I'm still IN love with him, and that won't ever change.. But we fought again today. He's trying to cut me out of his life completely. Deleting my number, deleting me from MySpace. He said he didn't care about my feelings. I said I would have rather had him still lying to me than to lose him as a friend and he said he didn't care. I want to not care for a change, but it's still so hard.

Lauren and I.. Where do I begin with her? She's still so beautiful and precious to me. She kind of doesn't trust me anymore because she had a relationship with this one guy in the past who she I guess fell in love with and he for some time has been telling me he loves me and he has a crush on me and I've been here for him when no one else would help and all of these other things. And we joke around and flirt and hit on each other and I guess she went through his phone and read all of those things and she got very upset with me. After it happened, I understood and I would have been too. Especially if it was someone I loved. I'm still very much in love with her also.


I'm tired. So exhausted. I've been up for like two and a half days straight trying to finish reading a novel by Barack Obama and do the supplementary reading report that is due with it. /= Ridiculous, I tell you!

I must go for now. I miss all of you on here and all the nice, pleasant things we used to talk about. [= I hope to hear from you soon. I Have a myspace if you want to check it out.

www . myspace . com / 88797428

Remove the spaces and you got it. Peace!

]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/20174587/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/20174587/ Tue, 26 Aug 2008 20:23:39 PDT
A lot in my life has changed. I'm a senior this year and I'm focused hard on doing great this year.. I'm also in love. His name is Ricky and he's amazing. He's my ex and we're working on being friends and hopefully more again but I won't complain. He's still the one that has my heart. Lauren is great also. It's been five years and she's still here for me. And she's even more beautiful than before!!


Talk to me on these, I miss all of you.
[link] (Make sure you tell me who you are)
[link]

]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/16652178/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/16652178/ Wed, 30 Jan 2008 23:34:12 PST

the family life STILL sucks and i don't really expect that to change, quite honestly. but i'm not going to complain or anything because i know for a fact i could have it soo much worse. i miss my dad though, he's been in jail for a while now and it's very hard on me not being able to talk to him every day. ]:

lauren and i are still like best friends. not really dating anymore. you know? haha. but i have fallen in love with two amazing guys. one's my ex of like 92742 times but we love each other so much. his name is time. he's amazing to me in every way possible. he's 16 and way cute. [: the other is jonathan. he lives in flordia and he's pretty sick. his birthday is feb 2nd, he'll be 18. he's in a band by the way haha.

and yeah. school's good except i don't go much anymore. i dislike it. sad sad.

but yeah. hit me up sometime. i'd love to talk to all of you who i haven't spoken to in ages.

AIM- xDEVOUR Thy Sins
MySpace- [link]

]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/12820678/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/12820678/ Wed, 02 May 2007 19:44:19 PDT
I'll try to update my stuff soon and post some of my current work. I miss this site so much since I've been preoccupied with school, work, and myspace. Bahh. That's no excuse.

Let me know how you guys have been! Much love to all!!

-Rochelley.

]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/10566106/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/10566106/ Tue, 31 Oct 2006 02:37:02 PST I am just happy that I like someone right now who isn't breaking my heart although I know he will soon enough. But let's not jynx it eh? lol.. Go to my MySpace if you want updated photos of me and if you want to see Elliot <3. lolzz.. Hmm. I'm cold and I should sleep. I have school later. Lots of love..


Rochelle<3

[link]

]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/10460850/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/10460850/ Fri, 20 Oct 2006 22:16:04 PDT
]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/10375646/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/10375646/ Fri, 13 Oct 2006 01:38:45 PDT
[link]

And Lauren is doing hella good too. We talked not too long ago. We don't talk as often as we used to.. That kind of sucks but we still love each other bunches.

Oh, and how have you all been?? Let me know. I miss it here on the da..

]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9988965/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9988965/ Wed, 06 Sep 2006 14:23:06 PDT Girls suck.
Parents suck.
Friends suck.
I suck.
LIfe sucks..

Yeah. Don't you hate it? I hate it all.. That is why I am going to move to Germany.. WHERE NO ONE WILL BOTHER ME. And I can have a cute little castle.. And only Jen and Shaylene can visit me because I won't let anyone else close to me again..

Well.. I am taking applications for people who love me because I am tired of everyone else that I know..

Rochelle ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9520924/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9520924/ Fri, 28 Jul 2006 09:22:59 PDT

And another thing, last night or early this morning in the am, like the guy I have liked since the 9th grade! My friend Shay said he would have to be crazy to not like me so I finally told him how I felt and he was like, I figured you have since then, it's just a feeling. And And! And I was like, dude Do you not like me or do you like me in the slightest bit and he said, "No. I don't like you. I just see you as a friend. =] " I wanted to cry but didn't because I am at a friend's house.. How disappointing dude. It's horrible!! He is a friend of mine, a pretty good one. A few days ago he played me a Bullet For My Valentine song on his guitar and like took me driving and stuff.. He has girlfriend problems because they always fuck him over and I would never do that to him.. And.. *sigh* I wish he liked me. I just want to be liked by someone. Is that too much to ask?? Someone tell me something, someone give me some advice! Purlease!!

Blah. Today my friend Jen and I are going to take pictures around Albuquerque (Or as far as we can go by bus) for Ralph and Livvi.. I hope you guys will like the pictures con sidering we are going to die of heat stroke because of the heat.. Unless it rains like yesterday.. We were like hardxcore dancing in the rain and stuff.. It was awesome, so carefree. lmao. I bet people thought we were freaks or something because this happened at the mall!

Well I am going to go take my depressed little self and go now so please leave me messages or something. I want to be cheered up! :-9

Rochelle ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9520395/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9520395/ Fri, 28 Jul 2006 08:26:57 PDT ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9499037/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9499037/ Wed, 26 Jul 2006 09:17:24 PDT
Then the Edge was doing a call-in and the person most creative with their idea gets to meet the band AND get tickets.. So I called in and said that I would shave my head and they were like, how old are you.. So I was honest and said 15.. Then they were like, sorry bye. and guess what! The girl who won the stuff, guess what she said she'd do! SHAVE HER HEAD AND NOW SHE GETS TO GO AND I DON'T BECAUSE I AM ONLY 15!! My mom said that I could and everything..
Therefore, my day is ruined and I am greatly depressed forever.

Can't wait until Poison the Well and Bleeding Through though. AND ROB ZOMBIE. Heck yes! Concert time again! -LoL- Well, people, make me feel better and leave like comments or something okay??

Love You!
Rochelle<3 ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9499035/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9499035/ Wed, 26 Jul 2006 09:17:05 PDT
Then the Edge was doing a call-in and the person most creative with their idea gets to meet the band AND get tickets.. So I called in and said that I would shave my head and they were like, how old are you.. So I was honest and said 15.. Then they were like, sorry bye. and guess what! The girl who won the stuff, guess what she said she'd do! SHAVE HER HEAD AND NOW SHE GETS TO GO AND I DON'T BECAUSE I AM ONLY 15!! My mom said that I could and everything..
Therefore, my day is ruined and I am greatly depressed forever.

Can't wait until Poison the Well and Bleeding Through though. AND ROB ZOMBIE. Heck yes! Concert time again! -LoL- Well, people, make me feel better and leave like comments or something okay??

Love You!
Rochelle<3 ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9354370/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9354370/ Wed, 12 Jul 2006 12:53:03 PDT
Bleeding Through is coming BACK TO ALBUQUERQUE! This time at the Launchpad which is the perfect place to meet bands! I want to talk to Brandan soo bad! And my friend told me to touch him again. lmfao. Aw.. It's August 19th, $15, 8 pm for those of you who want to go.. Which is like no one considering that none of you live here.. But I am super psyched..

Soo, Lauren's MySpace has pictures of her kissing Sophia. Which I am not too happy about because last year she cheated on me with that girl.. I dont' know if I should break up with her or not because we have been together for like a year and a half now.. What do I do?

Love All Of You Guys.. If you have a MySpace, add me as your friend!
[link]

Okay. GTG! Love All Of You Wif All Of Meh Heart!

Rochelle<3 ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9292373/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9292373/ Thu, 06 Jul 2006 13:05:41 PDT
Dude, Ozzfest was crazy! I met a couple guys in bands and a lot of them walked past me as I stood by the backstage!! The guys from Lacuna Coil Smiled at me! -lmao-

Dude, I have to go but I'll post the whole thing later when I get back on..


Laters! TTFN<3

Future Mrs. Alex Varkatzas ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9259638/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9259638/ Mon, 03 Jul 2006 10:39:13 PDT I cut my hair.. I look so emo and it's horrible. I almost cried..
I got a MySpace.. [link]
My dad moved out last night. I'm sad but it's something I've wanted for a LONG time.. I dont' know how to feel..

I have to go but yeah. Leave me comments or something..

Love Ya!

Rochelle ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9211792/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9211792/ Wed, 28 Jun 2006 15:07:08 PDT [link] <--My New MySpace




I Love You LLLLAAAUUURRREEENNN <3 ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9198574/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9198574/ Tue, 27 Jun 2006 10:51:11 PDT The girl that rocks my face off the most is Elle-jayde. I love her soo much. -LoL- HeHe. Dude, I have been awake for the past two days watching movies and drinking coffee. I have watched soooo many movies that I have nothing left to watch.. heHe. I just realized that I love Ian and Anthony soo much. I think I am a bit hyper also..

I can go to Ozzfest now. I made a deal - to hold off on piercings f or a while. And as easy as that, I can go!! Yes! And Ozzy is headlining second stage.. With Atreyu and Bleeding Through and Unearth. I have seats at Main Stage but I think Bleeding Through and Alex Varkatzas mean more to me that A7X and Lacuna Coil.. -LoL- Decisions, decisions..

I soo need a job.. I need money to get tickets for Rob Zombie unless magically someone gives me some.. *hints to buck and dex* -LoL- Yeah, Buck and Dex are my homies..

I really have nothing to say.. I fell in love with Toy Story.. Dude, Buzz Lightyear rocks my socks. -LoL- But who cares if I sound like a little kid, I love them. I got a Buzz pen.. I'm soo lame! Okay, I am going to go! Leave me lots of messages Kids! <3



Tomorrow night is One For Hope Soo, if you are in Albuquerque ((Which I doubt)) Support the local music scene!! ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9124983/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/9124983/ Tue, 20 Jun 2006 10:10:02 PDT He depresses me. But I am going to go cut my hair later and like, pierce the other side of my lip and maybe my nose.. Who Knows? I'm pissed right now so anything is possible. My bass is delayed because of lousy parents.. I'm so sad.. But that's okay. I'm going to go anyways. I don't need my parents.. They just depress me and hold me back. Can you believe they won't let me shave my hair into a mohawk and dye it purple??! They just grr. What good is being an individual if you can't even be yourself?? Oh a better note, I did a kick ass pic of Rob Zombie.. He's coming with Godsmack in December and I'm psyched. I went to the HIM/Aiden show. I met Aiden's drummer. He was hott. And like my friend's left without me and owe me $20.00 Stupid friends.. Well. Got to go now for a while. Everyone send me lots of birthday love!!

-Rochelle <3 xoxo

[link] <-- I think that is my friend Rick's Noobz but I'm scared to look at it so someone look at it for me and then tell me exactly what that pic is so I can look at it..

I'll add some poetry when I get back on in a while, okays? Love You All! <3 ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8874230/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8874230/ Thu, 25 May 2006 13:33:46 PDT

MY BIRTHDAY IS JUNE 20TH!!! IT'S COMING UP!!

Oh, we changed our band name.. Yet again but this time we are going to keep it as:

Improper Burial

Keep the love for us and say that WE ARE YOUR FAVORITE ALBUQUERQUE LOCAL BAND!! <3


I <3 Miguel R. ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8406804/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8406804/ Sat, 08 Apr 2006 10:23:20 PDT

xoxo,
Rochelle

OOOOOHHH and if you, Miguel, ever read any of this... O.o it wasn't me!!! lmfao. by god, i hope he doesn't..



..check out YOUR NAME IN LIGHTS on the warped tour. they rock my albuquerque local socks.. ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8312845/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8312845/ Thu, 30 Mar 2006 09:42:07 PST


Go check out Your Name In Lights on this year's Warped Tour. My heart for music has been devoted to that band, They are my Albuquerque Local Homies. Well, I just love them a lot. Sooo support them in any way you can and don't forget to tell Mario Hi for me K?? Funny thing is, I bet you money, He wo n't remember my name and be like who's she? lmfao okay sorry just go check um out..



I NEED A BAND LOGO FOR MY BAND AND I DON'T HAVE MONEY SO ARE ANY OF YA'LL INTERESTED IN DOING ONE FOR FREE????? Note Me or something k? ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8303714/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8303714/ Wed, 29 Mar 2006 10:46:55 PST oh wells... Static-X is coming on June 11th and that is like 9 days before my birfday. Anyone, talk to my parents about letting me go lol j/k... If anyone is interested in making my band a pretty logo for FREE, let me know. We still need one. (Livvi *ahem* Livvi)

Kk, Well, talk to ya'll some other day.
Later Skater.

Rochelle xOxOx

Aka

Agent Sin





Everyone, go out to a Your Name In Lights show, they're also playing the Warped Tour!!!! So go check out the band I have devoted my life to!! And Tell Mario HI.. ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8283360/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8283360/ Mon, 27 Mar 2006 10:24:38 PST Stupid parents, don't know when to leave us alone. Well, after that I have pretty much NO PLANS for this spring break. But I'm holding my report card captive until after my whole concert spree so I can go. I already got my HIM tickets, that's going to be a kick ass show on June 5th, that's 15 days before my birfday!!!!! Yay! And as for Avenged Sevenfold, they're still coming but my whole goal that day is to meet The Rev again AND Mick Morris from Eighteen Visions. He's beautiful and my idol in a way. My mom wants to go with me to the HIM concert because believe it or not, She's a bigger HIM fan than I am and that is incredibly sad... Well, that's all for now and uhm I love Lars Fredericksen and the Bastards... Love All of you!!!!!!!


Oh yeah,

Do any of you do like band logos? Cause my band needs a logo and we don't have one so if any of you are into that stuff and are willing to try to make us a logo, let me know. Note me or something.


xoxo,
Rochelle
aka Agent Sin ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8196665/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8196665/ Sat, 18 Mar 2006 10:22:35 PST
xOxOx,
Rochelle ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8129362/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8129362/ Sat, 11 Mar 2006 09:37:12 PST ....school sucks and i am now passing my classes with D's..tis sad i used to be sooo damn smart..oh remember that girl sarah, the one i wrote the poem for so she could forgive me?? well now she's dating the other matt i like..Matt Lovato! i'm so pissed at her..i don't know..she's a slut so should i forgive her??? life has TOO many problems for me...let's see..MY BEST FRIEND IS A CASTELLE...donnt ask...hahaha at the assembly when the cheerleaders were preforming, me and my friend got up and we were all "GO TEAM GO! EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW YOU SUCK! GOOOOO STUPID!!! LOOK! WE'RE CHEERLEADERS!!!!! DON'T GO, DON'T FIGHT, DON'T WIN" lol it was fun..k's well talk to you all laters...oh, and one last thing, my parents had a fight...my dad is pr obably going to move it..dream come true, but why do i still feel so sad??

xoxo,
Rochelle ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8065611/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/8065611/ Sat, 04 Mar 2006 13:40:10 PST
I will always remember you, even after I am long gone. Stay with me, promise me, you'll always love me too. ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/7998151/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/7998151/ Sat, 25 Feb 2006 10:31:31 PST

I AM PROMOTING LOCAL ALBUQUERQUE BAND:
YOUR NAME IN LIGHTS


check um out, they're hott...


You should help promote my band:

Burning is Beginning

we would love it if you helped out!!! ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/7932936/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/7932936/ Sat, 18 Feb 2006 09:46:49 PST
Rochelle aka shadowsxfan01 aka agent sin ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/7665122/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/7665122/ Sat, 21 Jan 2006 09:55:59 PST ) but i love that i got pictures with them and autographs too! it's cool... i have like two or three cameras full of pictures of me with them and them on stage and the other bands too..but stupid shadows (you know i still love you m!) but.. my new favourite is The Rev and Synyster because they were so nice to me.. and this one guy kept telling me and my friend to keep out clothes on ( i wasn't going to take them off) a nd he told the rev to tell me to keep my clothes on and the rev looked at him and was like "nah. you tell her" and my friend was like "I think the rev wants you to take off your shirt'' and i was like...nah...not like that. it was a great show...not much a fan for CKY but they played pretty good...and Day of Contempt or w/e was good too..and there was another band that i don't know their name, they rocked. the lead singer tore off his shirt! he also threw water all over me and got off stage and like started touching us and then started crowdsurfing...i got hit so many times by crowdsurfers and this show that i have no love for it anymore...but when avenged sevenfold was playing, MATT STUPID SHADOWS LOOKED DOWN ON ME. it was cool... ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/7606074/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/7606074/ Sat, 14 Jan 2006 22:09:48 PST
caitlin,
send me your picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and my friend sarah added you on myspace...prettyfulness...i love you..

elise,
you need to leave me comments. i miss you and your super cool....much love to ya

livvi,
miss miss missing you. thanks again for the id...


everyone else,
thanks for likin' my stupid work and takin' the time to read it

xOxrochellexOx ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/7303069/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/7303069/ Tue, 13 Dec 2005 16:54:47 PST ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/6866299/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/6866299/ Tue, 25 Oct 2005 16:56:01 PDT but he was hanging out with her and stuff and she called me and me and will talked and i love him more than ever. i got my homephone disconnected so now i can't talk to him! and word was, he was going to call this weekend to ask me out!!! i'm so sad because i really do like him...a lot. but maybe we can hang out soon. who knows! but my heart is all for him and i don't want him to hurt me! and i hope that he doesn't because i feel something special inside for him. he's special. i can tell. and my friend thinks that he likes me. a lot. and he tried to take my picture and asked for my phone number. but now i dunno what to do! i am already missing him. i <3 william b so much! i hope he does ask me out soon because i love him more than anyone in the world... ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/6826848/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/6826848/ Fri, 21 Oct 2005 10:28:56 PDT
rochelle ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/6380511/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/6380511/ Wed, 31 Aug 2005 16:58:26 PDT oh yeah lol xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo summmmmmer was fun while it lasted but i'm glad i'm in school, it is something to keep me occupied. more poetry coming soon! ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5755842/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5755842/ Sat, 25 Jun 2005 18:15:07 PDT
505-604-9110

if anyone ever wants to call or text, you are welcome to.
i am always on aim it seems so that is another way to keep in touch my s/ns are:

noprobhereofficr, angel2 desecrate, fuxxck emo kids, suicidalxxxgod->s/n me and my friend share.


everything i hope is to go good and new stuff from me is on the way. i have written new stuff but leave the poetry at my grandparents when i come to visit my mom and dad. but dont worry i am not one to leave and never come again. i will be back. i promise. even if it is on my life... ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5416510/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5416510/ Fri, 20 May 2005 22:42:02 PDT ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5339222/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5339222/ Thu, 12 May 2005 13:54:57 PDT ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5311644/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5311644/ Mon, 09 May 2005 13:53:36 PDT ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5284981/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5284981/ Fri, 06 May 2005 13:38:53 PDT ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5245108/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5245108/ Mon, 02 May 2005 08:26:36 PDT ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5183755/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5183755/ Mon, 25 Apr 2005 08:27:36 PDT ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5146172/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5146172/ Thu, 21 Apr 2005 07:52:24 PDT
how many of you have had your brother spit on y ou? it feels so bad, like your worthless....it made me cut...and i didnt want to...

well later skater ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5078459/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5078459/ Wed, 13 Apr 2005 13:09:54 PDT To my dismay.
I live in constant fear.
Failing has no effacement.
Permanently etched there.
It wants to leave.
But too foolishly it sits.
Hoping that edict will come.
Though it never did.
Antipathy developed.
That deep hatred settled in.
Feelin as if abandoned.
Lost all hope.
And despondent.
Eternity has promised me.
A seat in it's burning hell.
Formidable, the fears.
But I cannot forsake.
For all my life, it has been this.
The psychopathy.
Insanity.
Dragging, being harshly pulled.
The noose that was my friend.
Suffocates my life.
With the instance.
Of a butterfly's kiss.
This deadened land.
Floods with misery.
And the hypocrits.
Who falsely say they're sorry.
But they're distinctive.
It drips from your lips.
And peels from your flesh.
But becomes gray and dull.
Upon first glimpse.
And cannot be pellucid.
Attached to you.
Living out your mortal life.
Fallacious and having errors.
But your mistakes.
Puncture me.
Causing pullulate crimson.
I want an annulment.
And answer.
Antagonism haunts me.
Although it is fun.
Responces turned wrong.
Forming an alliance.
To rise against me.
But deciet can be murder.
Dolorous, so sorrowful.
Sorry that I hate myself.
I don't avoid the things I do.
Instead, I make my trails.
[With the instance.
Of a butterfly's kiss.
This deadened land.
Floods with misery.
Failure is my weakness.
To my dismay.
I live in constant fear.
Failing has no effacement.]

the rest of my poetry is in my journals.... ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5078396/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5078396/ Wed, 13 Apr 2005 13:03:09 PDT But it blew away.
Just like the wind carries away.
My memories.
I'm living a lie.
You tore the heart.
That delicately blew with the wind.
My thoughts are choking on you.
But I don't feel.
We built the barrier.
I awakened to find hate.
Towards you.
But I know I can't let you go.
No, not that easily.
I won't give it up.
Wander through time.
Where was I in your life?
You were always in mi ne.
I try to depart.
But those three years.
Wrap tightly around me.
Shared my personal.
Throughts, dreams, issues.
With you.
Said you'd cry if I left.
But would it be a difference?
Swirling thoughts obscure my mind.
Can't live with you pretending.
It's been me all along.
But you pummeled me.
And beat me down.
I feel inferior.
These tears are for you.
Punish myself for missed time.
You never cared.
Had no love for me.
Just another face in the crowd.
A face that terrorizes me.
Each and everyday.
How you make me feel.
Is undescribable.
I'm the one who's apathetic.
Without any emotion or interest.
But I feel pain, dishonor, guilt.
What did I do for you.
To despise me so greatly?
I let go.
I don't understand.
Why my life is this gray.

the rest of my poetry is in my journals... ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5078315/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5078315/ Wed, 13 Apr 2005 12:56:19 PDT To walk over the lies.
That you so gratefully put down.
I'm not contingent.
I can do this on my own.
I'm inadequate in your eyes.
Not worthy of your emotions.
Of life.
But can only scrape.
The irritable annoyance.
That scratches against my window.
the peccant creature.
Wind lightly kisses my neck.
And swirls around my body.
Once only legends.
Now only realities.
Delibrately hold me.
Call me a failure.
Say I'm weak and faithless.
Can you slaughter.
What you so savagely hate?
It's murderous bloodshed.
What would only please me.
With the inferior quality.
These nightmares fill my head.
Traumatizing me.
Wound the bleeding heart.
Smear the bleeding blood.
My death is not subsequent.
For the fusty smell of decay.
Is here.
And I decompose into myself.
Resent the fact.
That I wanted life.
It's futile and useless.
I wander in this endlessness.
No omen in sight.
Forged myself off the bridge.
Plunge into the cold water.
Decend into the black below.
I will not exculpate.
Not this time.
There will be no forgiveness.
Won't ocmplain when.
The pain only increases.
I can't secure the fact you'll leave.
Eternity you torture me.
The hoarse voice cries out.
Morbid hands of the dead.
Try to embrace me.
And when there's not hing left.
To do.
Scream to your God.
For he decieved you.
Tried to catch you in his lie.
Beckoned you to hate yourself.
Deaden my feelings.
Kill these intentions.
All hope's lost.
Walk alone in the shadows.
And just wish you'd die. ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5069714/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5069714/ Tue, 12 Apr 2005 13:07:31 PDT The secrecy is modest.
Decieved by your falsehood.
Life's prevaricate.
Pour your misery down.
Interrogate the truth that isn't there.
Lost and damaged.
Savagely broken.
Nothing I say can forgive.
Savor the moment.
Only called because I loved.
Your voice, loved you.
But everything around me falls.
Collapses in pain.
Here comes the cold again.
Contributing to the sorrow.
That breaks me down to tears.
that shatter like delicate glass.
Wnat only pugnaciousness.
But I'm too weak and fragile.
What you said to me.
Will stay after you're long gone.
Macabre facts rip us.
Sorrow kills, my dear.
And angels won't fly.
Won't mourn, but die.
And descend to hell.
That place where you left me.
Faithless and alone.
Shredded apart.
And thrown into the wind.
Eternially compassionless.
You won't forgive.
But the evildoing goes on.
Uncompromising determination.
Inefficient.
That hate drips off your lips.
[with passion I want to kiss away.]
Inferior subordinate feelings.
Why go on and hate me?
Be angry? Hate me?
Sear me, burn me to ash.
Sick of it being your way.
Don't wanna search.
For a reason to detest.
When I have many for love.
We'd be better off.
When you're angry at me, I.
Choke behind a fake smile.



xOxO, Rochelle
the rest of my poetry is in my journals.

[this poem is for Jeremiah. You cant stay mad at me forever..forgive me please. i know you'll read this oneday.] ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5069651/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/5069651/ Tue, 12 Apr 2005 12:56:29 PDT Becaue of the hurt that has been.
Caused.
The misery.
That pours upon my head.
Your anger shattered me.
Leaving me broken.
Scenery has been deadened.
Shut the door, cut the lights.
Breathe in hatred.
Breathe the lethal dose.
Close your eyes.
And sleep a moment.
In the instance of a kiss.
A rose blooms crimson.
But as fast as it lived, it died.
And you shriveled away. ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4968327/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4968327/ Fri, 01 Apr 2005 08:19:41 PST A supernatural being.
He drives me in to maddness.
And sinks me in insanity.
This terrible macroosm.
It's begining to be maddening.
The crepehanger of a phantom.
Never ceases to overwhelm me.
Creatures of darkness.
Don' t give me credibility.
They evolve me into a monster.
A freak who kills.
The precisions that i use.
Won't ever fade.
The crimson that I cause.
I remark as beauty.
Because nothing is as beautiful.
As a bloodless corpse.
I seem to amuse them.
Watch me come and play.
With deadly beauty.
I can lure you.
I am faithless.
No need for luck.
For with my phantom.
We provoke to destroy.

crap no time to finish..i'll finish typing it monday... ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4751451/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4751451/ Fri, 18 Mar 2005 08:27:07 PST Who called my name.
He never did me.
Any good anyway.
Maraud heavens.
Innocent little towns.
Let's burn heaven.
Set conflagration to it.
I fear nothing.
Nothing to dread.
This place is filthy and dirty.
Disgraceful and foul.
My body decays.
My soul deteriorates.
Kill the sweetheart.
He ain't nothing to me.
This demon inside.
Wants only destruction.
Wants only bloodshed.
Yet it still doesn't appease me.
I only want to demolish the angels.
I only want to annihiate them.
Heaven's so peaceful.
Let's eradicate it.
I'm so spiteful.
So hateful.
So evil.
I love it.
Up there, I can hear.
My laugh echos through the walls.
The corridors.
With eager eyes staring.
It's so disgusting.
I will martyr you.
Torture is so pretty.
When I'm doing it to you.
Now you can see and feel.
What you did to me.
I am so jaded.
And jagged.
I'm going to present you.
With my mark.
Etch hate into your arms.
Now they look like mine.
Tag your wrists.
With crimson gashes.
I'll stitch your eyes shut.
You're so unfortunate.
I live lawless.
I like anarchy.
I don't need your shit.
To break me down.
You stole my life.
And I want it back.
And I burned down.
Heaven.
I overthrew your power.
Now the place is impure.
I'm not yours to.
Slaughter anymore.

xOxRochellExOx

...spring break so i wont be back for a week....

all my other poetry is in my journals....and i wont be back til monday the 14th because i have testing all this week and will be back monday...i love you all! muah! ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4727501/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4727501/ Fri, 04 Mar 2005 13:05:45 PST Fading into the black.
Being this way.
I've always been this way.
I am so different.
Look that it's costed me.
I decay.
And I bleed.
I cry this blood.
That drips from my wrists.
Give it a kiss.
But the passion stays on my lips.
This black heart.
Of mine crumbles.
And it breaks.
And it shatters.
And it falls.
On me.
Stare into the night.
Wish upon a star.
Wish I had it better.
With a smile.
These black lips won't move.
Move from this frown.
Frozen in misery.
I live this agony.
Plastered in this pose.
Pick the petals from this rose.
I have it better.
I have it better, not.
I'm living in the shadows.
Where not one else can see.
I'm tired of being unknown.
No one notices me.
Why can't it be.
That I have elegance.
But instead I have.
This pain.
Wish I had no scars.
Wish that a flower.
Would bloom for me.
With pride.


xOxRochellExOx
The rest of my poetry is in my j ournals. ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4692991/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4692991/ Mon, 28 Feb 2005 13:02:56 PST In milk white snow.
With whimsical footprints.
Ungodly and immoral.
Just one peek I take.
One look for sure.
And what I see
Is a conception of me.
Bewildered, Confused.
Yet so understood.
Each print represents.
A lie told to me.
Premanently etched into my skin.
So not perishable.
Each print represents.
A person to me.
Who will not die.
Who will not cease.
They want to ruin.
And ruin they do to me.
My dreams are crushed.
With each and every cut.
Oh, the passionate torture.
Oh, the agony.
A trail of red.
Tragically slices the snow.
A trail on which i was beaten.
And dragged.
The brutal screams.
The cries no one could hear.
The tears that fell.
Down my face.
The ground.
In which I collapsed.
This dreadful pounding.
It's hideous.
But what everyone sees.
They make it so pretty.
They clean up the blood.
And the macabre trails.
The plan it all out.
To make me seem deranged.
But no one sees.
What happening.
Perfect people.
The throwdown perfect glitter.
Everyone sees.
Happiness and sparkles.
This land is drenched.
In bloody, white snow. ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4692870/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4692870/ Mon, 28 Feb 2005 12:49:14 PST Green fades into black.
Wrapped in perfect plastic
With a perfect bow.
Handed to me on a
Dark and gloomy day.
Pulled from a trashbag
With assorted tinctures.
From such a feebleminded person.
Delicately engrave the shapes
Into my arms.
Flit away with your flock
that detests me with such animosity.
Annihilate those fucking petals.
You're my antagonist.
Handed me that rose
With such glorification.
But you hate me.
Why ail me with your prescence?
So purposeless.
You cause me so much suffering
And uncertanity.
But come Valentines and a
Rose you gave me.
What kind of fucking hoax
Is this?



xOx_MercedeS_xOx

all my poetry is in my journals. ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4692835/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4692835/ Mon, 28 Feb 2005 12:44:58 PST Green fades into black.
Wrapped in perfect plastic
With a perfect bow.
Handed to me on a
Dark and gloomy day.
Pulled from a trash bag
With assorted tinctures.
From such a feeble minded person
Delicatly engrave the shapes
Into my arms.
Flit away with your flock
That detests me with such animosity.
Annihilate those fucking petals.
You're my antagonist.
Handed me that rose
With such glorification.
But you hate me.
Why ail me with your prescence?
So purposeless.
You cause me so much suffering
And uncertanity.
But come Valentines and a
Rose you gave me.
What kind of fucking hoax
Is this? ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4606999/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4606999/ Thu, 17 Feb 2005 13:44:00 PST ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4554307/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4554307/ Fri, 11 Feb 2005 13:13:22 PST The one free thing
Love is the voice at heart
The morning always brin gs.

THe showers of rain
Come where you are not around
He darkest shadow cries at dark
THe one unpleasant sound.

Your smile is that radiant
Sweet sunshine shows
Eyes of shiny lovliness
Glimmers and it glows.

Bitter hate
Tries to stop us
Rants and raves
It's that grotesque fuss.

The kiss
Wonderful and great
our lives
One moments fate.

Never hazy
Clean and clear
No mixed feelings
When you're near.


~not finished~ ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4554278/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4554278/ Fri, 11 Feb 2005 13:10:34 PST It goes unrealized
You guys ignore me
Like your hypnotized.

As if you were programmed
To hate
On thin ice
You choose to skate.

Why do I waste my time
On you
When there are so many other
Things that I could do.

One mistake
Pulled me from everyone
One mistake
Has left me shunned.

Are you that heartless
Are you that cold
But from you guys
It's a signal I'm trying to be told.

I'm gonna bury my past
Along with you
That is one thing
I'm going to do.

I'm not gonna let you be a scar
You're not worth it
Especially when you
Treat me like shit.

I fucking hate it already!

I'm gonna make you
Scream in agony
Like you made me
Cry in misery.

I will feel no sympathy!

I will laugh with joy
When your flesh is torn away
You'll be in my personal hell
Forever to stay.

You have no freedom
You have no rights
When you kept me awake
Cutting, crying, every night.

My razorblade will
Always be my friend
But I'll have you to torture
Until my life comes to an end.





this is about my friends because i fucking hate them and they are nt my friends at all they're pathetic assholes who have no fucking life...but then again i dont have one either..i live by what i want to...

xOx~MeRcEdEs~xOx ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4554231/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4554231/ Fri, 11 Feb 2005 13:04:39 PST Left alone
As if it's better to be
Unknown.

Slitting my wrists
I want to go
I don't want a reason to stay
Am I supposed to have one though?

It's the end and
It doesn't matter
I can't pick up
What I shattered.

I can't fill my hands
With the blood that I bled
Or pick up a perfect cup
Of the tears that I shed.

I can't cover up
The scars that I made
It's one of the ma ny things
That will never fade.

I can't pick up what
I left behind
Or say "yes" to the
Thi ngs that I declined.

I can't put a smile
Where I left a frown
I can't and won't pick up
What I have threw down.

I won't wipe up the blood that
Is dripping from my wrists
Or unclench my hands from
Anger filled fists.

I won't say
Good-bye
Or even say I
Tried.

But where were you when
I cried
And laid in a pool of blood
Where I nearly died.




...this is based on a real life experience...

xOx~MeRcEdEs~xOx ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4529534/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4529534/ Fri, 11 Feb 2005 13:00:37 PST Yet so vain
Going so crazy
Yet so sane.

Losing it all
But what really have I lost
I dream many things
But is it what I thought.

I'm sitting here
And thinking about you
And everything that
You have been through.

You cut so deep
Your skin was in slivers
When I saw your wrists
All I got was shivers.

Sure, I did that too
But yours were so much worse
Everything was different
Almost so diverse.

I miss you everyday
And wish that you were here
Don't know if I'll do that you did
So help me keep it dear.

It was hard for me
To see you cry
Saying you were okay
But knowing it was a lie.

Your death is somethi ng I must
Deal with everyday
BUt when I try to differ it
The thoughs don't go away.

They beat you black and blue
They gave you your pai n
They set you on your path
To slowly going insane.

You couldn't take it
So you took your pain away
By doing the only thi ng you k new
That would permanently take it away.

The blood was to go all over
From wall to wall
After you cut from wrist to wrist
Fire the gun and you fall.

But I wasn't there to catch you
Falling, falling, fell
But you're no longer going through
What you called "hell."

And on your casket
Flowers I laid
My tributes to you
Were ones that I paid.

And as I cried I felt you
It was almost as if you were there
Somewhere hanging around
In that very air.

Maybe where you are now
You are very happy
The ending of this story
Really is quite sappy.

And as I said, I felt you
And you whispered in my ear
"Everything will be fine,
Very fine my dear." ]]> ~xxslashedxx http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4521145/ http://xxslashedxx.deviantart.com/journal/4521145/ Mon, 07 Feb 2005 14:06:05 PST Scared of what people would think
Should I give a fuck
Of what people really think?

Across my arms are lines
Gray and hazy
Across my arms are designs
To people, somewhat crazy.

I am addicted
To the cuts i make
I try not to hide it
And try not to be fake.

The blood I bleed
Is all my emotions
Bleeding so much dark blood
I could fill the oceans.

I cut myself
As I cry
I cut myself
So deep I die.

Tell my Lauren
That I love her
And truely didn't mean
To forsake her.

But it's me who
Truely is forsaken
With so much sorrow
I could not awaken.

The razor sits
Tinted red
Beneath the mattress
Of my bed.

My arms I hide
Beneath jewelry and cloth
Beneath my skin
I began to rot. ]]> ~xxslashedxx